It was a dazed and slightly awkward Rory that stepped out with Jess out of the cinema. Rory felt something not unlike a hangover of massive proportions coming on, her first warning a slight humming feeling at her temples. She felt intoxicated, with the touch of Jess’ mouth still lingering on her lips.

She looked down at her pager, with a message from Lorelai telling her the carollers were meeting instead at the town hall.

Jess broke the silence first.

“That movie was crap.”

“How would you know?” Rory asked incredulously.

“How would I know? I sat through it.”

“But you didn’t even watch half of it!”

“Geez, you’re defensive.”

“No, I’m just … a little tired.”

“You seem like it. You okay?”

“Um…yeah.” Rory shook her head, sending strands of her chestnut hair flying. “I’m fine,” she affirmed.

“Okay,” Jess gave a shrug of casual nonchalance.

“It’s just the, sound and that loud music…” Rory gave him a small smile. “I feel a little dizzy, actually.”

“You need some water.”

“No, I don’t,” she protested, then flinched as a flicker of pain passed through her head.

“Yes, you do. Come on,” Jess motioned towards the street. Rory followed.

Unbeknownst to our almost-but-not-quite-a-couple couple, Lorelai followed them out, an unreadable expression on her face.

***

Lorelai wandered around, looking for Luke. He wasn’t at the diner, so where was he?

Okay, she murmured to herself. If I were Luke, where would I go on a Saturday afternoon?

Her brow furrowed in thought.

An almighty crash rang out as several roofing tiles fell off the roof.

“Taylor, you are dead! I swear to God!”

“Well well well, you are quite the brain, Miss Gilmore,” she congratulated herself smugly and headed purposefully towards an aggravated Luke.

“Hiya Luke,” she greeted up at him him cheerfully. Luke regarded her warily with more than a little suspicion, and was strangely glad he was some 2, 3 metres above her. That glitter was hell to get out, and a man like him shouldn’t have to be forced to shampoo more than once. Not under any circumstances.

“What?”

“Watcha doin’?”

“Cleaning Taylor’s roof.”

“Why?” Lorelai’s tone had a particularly annoying nuance to it. Perky, thought Luke disgustedly.

“Because.”

“Okay,” agreed Lorelai. Her tone seemed serious, at least serious enough for Luke to squint down at her. “Must you stay up there like that? At least come down so we can have a civilised conversation.”

Luke grudgingly climbed down the ladder.

“What?”

“Have you seen Jess lately?” Lorelai asked, unexpectedly.

“No,” Luke paused, as a tide of horrible realization rushed over him. “What’s he done?” He asked, resignedly. “Mouthed off at you? Broke a window? Stole your laundry? What is it?”

Lorelai shook her head.

“Though it’s surprising, none of those. Anyway, I’ve come to ask you for a favour.”

Luke made an indiscernible noise that might, on Luke-planet, have passed for a ‘Sure, tell me all about it.’

“I just thought I would tell you before you had a certain…enlightening experience, shall I say.”

“Right. Now that you’ve told me absolutely nothing, I need to get back to work.”

“Okay. Jess and Rory are a couple,” she whispered quickly, while Luke was halfway up the ladder.

“What?” Luke frowned, turning around.

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you!” Lorelai said, and walked away.

Assuming she had said something typically festive, he replied “See you tomorrow.”

***

“Here.” Jess handed Rory a glass of sparkling water and an aspirin. It was water in the desert to Rory, who gulped it down thankfully.

“Where’d you get it?” She finally asked.

“Raided Luke’s medicine cabinet.”

“He has one?”

“Yeah. Has all his emergency stuff in it.”

Rory grinned.

“So all that stuff he’s legally obliged to have. Taylor probably bugged him about it.”

“Most likely. It was all pretty much Band-Aids, antiseptic and some nicotine patches.”

“Nicotine patches? Was Luke ever a smoker?”

“Probably in his biker days. They’re all covered with dust.”

“Luke in black leather, studs and chains?” Rory paused, and thought of something even more terrifying. “On a Harley?”

“Now there’s an image you don’t wanna dwell on,” Jess said dryly.

The two smiled.

There was a comfortable silence in the diner. Neither of the two felt obligated to fill it with useless small talk. Rory felt a twinge of guilt.

“I’m sorry,” Rory said quietly. So quietly, in fact, Jess wasn’t sure he heard it.

“About what?”

“Before, in the movie. I’m sorry.”

“Again, about what?”

Rory took a breath.

“I used you. I … I was … I guess it was a way for me to forget Dean.” She couldn’t look at him, her eyes downcast.

There was silence.

Rory couldn’t help quickly glancing at Jess, trying her very best to gauge a face that was indecipherable.

Suddenly, the silence was suffocating.

“I should’ve known,” Jess replied, a touch bitterly. He stood, turned and walked out, leaving a distinctly chilly feeling in the air.

Rory’s eyes clouded in desolation, but she didn’t go after him.

***

“Rory!” Lorelai called as she entered the house, not bothering to take off her heavy boots, or her heavy coat, which was sprinkled with light, icing-sugar snow.

“I’m in here,” she called, by the sounds of it, she was in her room.

Lorelai popped her head in the doorway.

“Hey,” she said cheerily.

“Hi mom,” Rory replied, looking at Lorelai a little strangely.

Lorelai waited, then spoke.

“Honey, did you forget something?”

A look of utter incomprehension flittered across Rory’s face, then returned, and permanently parked itself there.

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh. I’ll help you. On the first day of Christmas my-” Lorelai’s singing voice was not so much brassy but was to the ears as a cheese-grater is to cheese.

Rory gasped.

“The carolling!”

Lorelai flashed a smile.

“Come on then, let’s go,” she said cheerily. “And hurry, we’ve got 15 houses to go to, not to mention Luke’s.”

***

Lorelai and Rory lagged at the back of the enthusiastic group of carollers, some now more enthusiastic, helped greatly by Lorelai’s delicious, supposedly non-alcohol eggnog. Carollers are such a gullible bunch.

“So mom, what have you got planned for Luke tonight?”

Lorelai chuckled evilly.

“Ah, young Rory, I shall show you the tools of my trade,” she replied expansively, rummaging around in her bag.

“Now this,” explained Lorelai with a twinkle in her eye, “is my newest invention.”

“How diabolical.” Rory rubbed her arms to get her circulation started.

“I’m very excited about this.”

“Surprisingly enough, I could tell.”

Lorelai brushed off that comment.

“It’s a mixture that’s liquid enough to freeze, but thick enough to hold its shape.”

“You must have spent hours,” Rory mock-enthused.

“I did indeed. And behold: the future of Christmas Luke-pranking.” With a great deal of pride, Lorelai held aloft a bag full of clear, wobbly, mercury-like protoplasm that was, but not entirely like, jelly (or is it jell-o?).

“And that?” Rory pointed at a few small rounded jars filled with liquid.

“This is food dye. Simply add, mix and it’s ready to use.”

“Or throw.”

“Or throw,” conceded Lorelai.

***

The two dragged their feet along the ground; all sung out after 15 renditions each of Silent Night and other such Christmas classics. Lorelai nudged Rory excitedly as they approached a familiar landmark: Luke’s.

Seconds later, Lorelai got seriously stuck into it, throwing handfuls of the jelly-paint at the walls, where it hit with a dull wet thwack, or, to be more exact, an avalanche of dull wet thwacks.

“Look at all the pretty colours,” Lorelai admired, gazing wondrously at her work, a kaleidoscope of colours.

“Luke is going to flip,” Rory said, shaking her head. She was not so much intent on painting the walls as creating something with form. She carefully worked the image, blending with her fingers

Lorelai had caught on quickly, drawing a giant peace sign in psychedelic pinks and greens. Then, grinning madly, wrote a sign saying ‘alien mothership’, ‘free body piercing with every order of coffee’ and ‘Trekkies convention inside’. Surprisingly enough, she had time to draw a quick cartoon of Luke, all backwards baseball cap and surly expression.

Lorelai’s super-sensitive hearing detected a vague muttering coming from upstairs. A light turned on. A silhouetted shape moved around groggily. Muttering filtered down to Lorelai and Rory.

“Come on, quickly! We have to sing so that we don’t seem guilty!”

“We do this every year. I think they would have some clue,” replied Rory. It had become a bit of a Christmas tradition.

“Not if we sing with all our might,” Lorelai enthused.

And thus, Rory was forced to sing to one extremely hacked off Luke, with Lorelai, of course. Their performance was so abysmally bad, Rory had to wonder why her mom bothered at all. Probably to share the joy of her voice around, she thought. No one could pretend singing like that was a gift of any sort.

“What…” Jess wandered downstairs, and saw the two. It was his first encounter with this strange phenomenon going by the name of carolling.

Jess stared, an unfriendly look on his face.

“Hi,” offered Rory weakly. “Merry Christmas?”

“Yeah. You too,” he replied flatly.

The pair looked over to Lorelai and Luke, the former managing to drive the latter to irritation in mere seconds by singing an uncomplimentary version of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer to him.

“So…”

“So…” Rory echoed. “I’m sorry,” she said, looking into Jess’ eyes and projecting honesty from every pore.

Something undecipherable flittered across Jess’ face.

“Wanna come in?”

“Sure,” Rory smiled and stepped into the diner…