POKING NORMALCY IN THE BACKSIDE

By Oregano

Lorelai grinned through the darkness as she swatted away a leaf.  Clad in her pajamas and a thick sweater (Rory stole the coat), she knelt down, hidden inside the plants.  She was actually enjoying this observatory experiment that she and Lane had going.  Things between Jess and Rory were getting good, and she was more than happy to bear witness.

“I’m so sorry, Jess.” She heard Rory say after Jess’ spectacular explosion.  Rory slowly put her arms around his neck and embraced him. 

“It’s okay.” Jess replied.

“Sooo, are they together or are they still dancing in their ‘friends-ish’ place?” Lane asked, confused.  She shifted her weight a bit, her legs probably tired from the abuse it had to face just to see Jess and Rory get together.

“This is all very confusing.” Lorelai said.

Lane snorted, “Got that right.”

The two “huggers” held on to each other a little longer and after a long while, they finally parted.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Jess asked.

“I’m tired of deciding for the both of us.  You read a lot, don’t you have any ideas?”

“Well, from all the feminist books I’ve seen in you room, I thought you’d enjoy being dominant…”

Lorelai groaned.  “Blah, blah-blah, blaaah… Jess, just spit it out!”

“Ugh, whip me up, before you go-go...” Lane added.

They were about to divulge more into Jess’ being annoying, but were stopped when he suddenly leaned forward and gave Rory a kiss.

Ooh.

“Well, well, progress.”

“Finally.  Thank God.  I thought we’d be here until I was fifty-nine.”

“Lorelai, you are such a stalker.”

She whipped around to see Luke in a hoodie and his flannel pajama-bottoms.

“What are you doing here?”

“Jess still hasn’t come back.  I thought he’d be at your place by now, but nobody in your house was home.  So I went here to check the bridge.  But I found two fugitives instead.”

Hmm.  He replied pretty quickly there… and he sounded rehearsed…

“Liar, you wanted to see them, too!”

Luke frowned.  Hah.  Lorelai had caught him.

“Come on, let’s go to the Diner.  I’ll make you guys some food so you won’t have to be convicted of any unlawful acts.”

“Do Lane and I get danishes?”

“It’s the middle of the night, Lorelai… oh, God, not that stupid puppy look… dammit, fine!  Just get your asses into the Diner.”

After two large cherry danishes, Lane had given up.  Now she and Luke watched as Lorelai consumed a third order of pancakes.

“Someday, when your metabolism slows down, and you have that ugly beer-gut and fat thighs, I’m gonna be there to tell you, ‘I told you so.’”

“At least you’ll still be there, making me my food.  Coffee.  Now.”  Lorelai pounded her mug against the counter top.

Lane smirked, but also saw her watch.

“Oh, man!  I have to get going!  My mom is going to do her second round checks in three minutes!  Bye Lorelai, tell me everything tomorrow.  Thanks Luke!”

“Ah, to be seventeen.  And a prisoner.”

They watched Lane leave and run like lightning to her house.

“Hey, Bottomless Pit, are you done eating everything I have?”

“Yep.” Lorelai said, accompanied by a burp.

“You are disgusting.”

“I love you, too, Luke.”

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home.  I can’t let you go out on your own.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, Luke.  Worried because I’m a little lady?”

“No.  Because I’m sure you’ll go back to that stupid bridge and spy on Rory and Jess again.”

“Curses.”

Luke rolled his eyes at her, “Let’s get moving, Mojo.”

“You watch that show?”

“Shut up, Lorelai.”

Lorelai and Luke took their time walking to the Gilmore house.  The leaves crunched against their feet and little crickets shrieked from the darkness.  Lorelai remembered the exact moment that Jess had kissed Rory and her cheeks burned.  She finally admitted it to herself. 

She was jealous.

“I’m never going to have that ever again, am I, Luke?”

“Have what?” he asked back, flatly.

“That bizarre thing Jess and Rory seem to be calling ‘love’.”

“Haven’t we been over this?” Luke sighed.

“Well, excuse me while I exhume the topic again for an autopsy.”

He led her to a park bench and sat beside her.  He took her hands into his and faced her.

“Lorelai, listen to me: you will fall in love again.  I promise that.  It may take a while, considering that this jackass may still either be a big coward, or he’s still trying to figure some stuff out.  But that time will come, okay?  So don’t worry about it too much.  I can give you a hundred percent guarantee that he loves you so much, though.”

Lorelai smiled and said, “I just hope that Chris doesn’t take too long.  I still want some natural hair by the time he sucks it up.”

Luke forced a smile and took his cap off.  “Yeah.  Heh, Chris.  Yeah, the slow… jackass.”  He was wringing his cap in his hands now, apparently nervous.  Lorelai wasn’t sure why.

She put an arm around him and kissed his cheek.

Mwah!

“Lorelai?”

“Yes, Luke?”

“Do that again and someone’s life will be in jeopardy,” he gruffly said, but obviously blushing.

“You can’t kill me; I’m too pretty to die.”

She didn’t know that Luke was talking about his life, not hers.

“C’mon, I’m supposed to walk you home, not Dr. Laura you.”

End.