POKING NORMALCY IN THE BACKSIDE

By Oregano

                “…So I told him, ‘Look, Bud, Ferdinand Marcos did a lot for their economy!”  Then I gave him this evil stare.  He said, ‘He took away their Writ Habeas Corpus!’  Ugh.  Whatever.  Make one mistake and you pay for it your whole life.  Okay, I’m tired.  I’m going to bed.”

                Rory Gilmore didn’t say a word to Paris Gellar as they made their way from the elevator to their room.  She was getting pretty used to it, actually.  She found out that Paris talked to herself a lot, so it wasn’t a problem if she didn’t listen.

                Paris changed into her sleeping attire in a flash, crawled into bed and said, “Goodnight, Rory.”

                “’Night, Paris.”

                Rory took her time, unlike Paris, to change into her pajamas.  She walked around the room, still not too sleepy.  She went over to the telephone and hesitated. 

Rory was about to call him.  Jess.  She wanted so much to call him and just talk, but she couldn’t bring herself to dial those numbers.  Sighing, she tried another set of digits.

                “Yellow.”

                “Hey, mom.”

                “Rory!  Ah!  I’m so glad you called!  A whole bunch of stuff happened while you were gone!”

                Her mother sounded a tad too cheery.  Hmm.  A wide smile spread around her lips.

                “You made up with Luke!”

                “Yes I did!  He gives me a hard time with my coffee again!”

                “I’m glad you guys have progressed.”

                “Hoo!  Tell me about it!  Oh, and Jess is back.”

                A shudder slithered up Rory’s spine.

                “Oh!  Jess.  Really?”

                “Yeah.  You may have expected Armageddon for the second time, but we actually sort of agreed on a settlement.”

                “A settlement?”

                “Yeah!  He gets the car and I get half of the diner.  We then share custody of the dog.”

                “You and Jess made up, too?”

                “Yes.  During one very insane night.  There was a lot of water involved.”

                “Well, that’s very good to know.”  Rory said, but still a lot surprised.

                “A new girl came over, too!  She and Jess hang out a lot.  She’s pretty.  In a Courtney Love kind of way.”

                Jess met a girl.  They hang out a lot.  She’s pretty.  Right.

                No way.

                “Is she his…” her throat constricted as she croaked, “g-irlfriend?”

                “I don’t think so.  Looks pretty platonic.  What’s wrong with your voice, Rory?  Are you alright?”

                Rory sniffed.  This prospect of Jess having another girl was attacking her body from different directions.

                “Rory?” her mom asked again.

                “Mom, I have something to tell you.  It’s about Jess.”

                “Are you kidding me?!  You have to be!  You kissed Jess?!  JESS?!  You?  Kissed?  JESS?!”

                Rory closed her eyes and sighed.  She knew her mom would react like this.  She just thought that she could have toned it down, with the Settlement and all.

                “Mom, please, I need Understand Rory Mom, not Illogical To Rory Mom…”

                It took a while to get her calm, and when it came, her mom said, “You have to tell Dean, you know?”

                “I do.”  Her voice was breaking down more and more.

                “I know I’ve told you this, but, now I’m pretty sure that you’re starting to fall for Jess.”

                Rory shifted in her seat on the sofa and clumsily fell to the floor. 

                Oof!

                “I think I already have.”