Chapter 2: Pecking Order

Lorelai walked to the door and opened it wide.  “Jess.”  She tried to be polite.  But maybe it didn’t come out as sincere as she would have liked. 

“Lorelai,” He nodded up to her and let go of Rory’s hand.  He still didn’t know how to act around his girlfriend’s mother, especially after all those events that had gone under whilst he was going after Rory.

           “I’ll see you later, Jess.”  Rory smiled.  But of course she didn’t go into kiss him.  Now that would have been taboo. 

           “I’ll call you.” He smiled at her but it felt so unnatural, the not kissing her goodbye.  And he couldn’t stop thinking about the sexual tension.  In about a week, I might be so far past insane that I would be perfectly sane.  I also won’t make any sense.  Dear Lord, it’s started already.  One hour and 14 minutes, and it’s already begun.

           But he would prove to her that he didn’t care only about the kissing.  That was just an extra quirk.  A quirk that was damn impossible to live without.  He wouldn’t be able to do it if she were any one but Rory.  But with Rory, he knew that they could have deep conversations.  Have fun just sitting.  Be in a relationship that was similar to one friends would be in. 

           And if they couldn’t, he was screwed.

---

           “Hey sweets, what’s slappinin’?”  Lorelai asked her daughter as she ushered her inside from the cold.

           “I’m not stupid, am I?” Rory asked as she began to unbutton her coat.

           “Heck no, hun.  Excessively clean? Yes, but stupid? No.  That is one thing you are not.” Lorelai laughed at her own little joke.

           “Alright.” Rory shrugged dejectedly.

           “Something wrong?  Did the boys tease ya, call you stuupad?” She drawled.

           “Oh, no.”  Rory stopped but it looked like there was something else she wanted to say.

           “But I reckon you’ve got boys on the mind.  One dark haired, rebel, perhaps?”

           “Maybe…” Rory looked up at her mom and the two settled down on the couch.  She and Jess had kissed there one time.  Was that all she could think about?  Was she the problem? And her dirty, dirty mind?

           “Hmmm… Do tell.  Dr. Phil here.  I’ll give you half off ‘cause I like ya.”

           “Mom…” Rory jokingly warned.  There was no way she could tell her mom this.  This was more a best friend sort of thing.  Lucky for her, Lorelai was both.

           “Yeah, no good.  Dr. Phillina here.  She’s more in touch with femininity, in my opinion”

           “Seriously, Mom.”  But Rory couldn’t help letting out a little laugh.

           “Ok, mother is here.”

           “Can you maybe be Lorelai for a minute?”  She asked warily.

           “I wasn’t aware there was a difference.”  Lorelai pouted and looked in mocked contemplation to the ceiling.

           “This is a best friend kinda thing.”

           “Gotcha.  So oh my god, did you see Lana’s new nose?”  Lorelai put on her affected teen bimbo voice, but off of Rory’s look, refrained from her next comment.  “Sorry kiddo.  Speak.”

           “Ok, so it’s about me and Jess.”

           “I figured.  I saw he didn’t give you a kiss goodbye.  Everything ok?”

           “Yes, no, I don’t know.  The thing is the kissing.  I, we, well, mostly, me…I made him promise no more kissing until Valentine’s Day.”

           “Huh, maybe I need to refigure some things.  You are stupid.  Do you think we could pass you off as an escapee from the crazy world where teenage boys don’t have hormones and couples don’t show their love?  I don’t need you spoiling my reputation.”

           “What do you mean, love?”

           “Oh, I’m so sorry.  Like.”  Teenagers were so sensitive about that sort of stuff.

           Rory thought about it for a moment.  “Maybe love.”  Lorelai smiled at her daughter’s divulgence.  Jess may not be her favorite person, but Rory was smitten.  Lorelai hoped it was a reciprocal form of ardor.

           “Rory’s in loooooooove.”  Lorelai sang in her horrendous voice.

           “Mom, I said maybe.  But anyway, let’s get back to the kissing affair.”

           “‘Kissing affair’.  Gosh, sounds like how Congress would refer to it.”

           “It’s quite a pressing matter, I’m sure it’s on the agenda.”

           “Yeah, right behind making Eternal Flame the new national anthem.”

           “Why can we never stay on topic?”

           “Because that’s no fun, silly.”

           “Kissing.  Do you think Jess and I kiss too much?”

           Lorelai thought for a minute about how this conversation was ranking up high on her weird list.  That is, along with whether Korn ate corn and if actors on T.V. can hear you when you talk about them and yell things at the screen.

           “Uh, no, not really.  But I don’t really get too see much of the action, thank God.”  Please let there not be too much action that I don’t see…

           “Well, I don’t know if we kiss too much, it’s just that the kissing sort of got in the way of the other stuff.  Like talking.  And, well, the stuff we used to do before we got together.”

           “I know the feeling.” Lorelai nodded in understanding.

           “You do?” Well, at least it isn’t only in our relationship. 

           After a moment’s pause, Lorelai continued, “No, not really, I was just trying to make you feel better.”

           “Gee thanks, I feel so much better.” Rory riposted sarcastically.  Lorelai held her hands up in mock surrender.

           “Sorry.”

           “So now I can’t kiss him for a couple of weeks, and…”

           “And you are afraid that it’s going to turn out that your relationship was just all kissy poo and not like how it was before you got together.”  Lorelai read her mind and continued for her daughter.

           “Exactly.”  Rory replied after a moment’s hesitation.  That and I might not be able to keep my hands off that hot piece of ass.

           “I wouldn’t worry about it, hun.”

           “Yeah?”  Pure innocence.  A little girl who didn’t know exactly what love was.

           “Yeah.  Jess came back to Stars Hollow for you.  He waited a long time for you.  And you’ll see, that come Valentine’s Day, you won’t even need to kiss anymore.”

           “Thanks, that was nice, what you just said.  Very Dr. Phillina.”  Rory laughed, feeling considerably better.

           “Well, the doctor has just one more piece of advice.  If you feel the need to jump him some time in the coming weeks, that’s ok.  It doesn’t mean your relationship is shallow, it just means that you are a young woman and girls have needs, but don’t give in, because you are gonna win!” She got a little overly enthusiastic, always the competitive one.

           Rory rolled her eyes and got up to go to her room.

           “Wait, I’m not done!” Lorelai called.  “Ok, ‘teenage Lorelai : Does this mean that I can hook up with him now?’  ‘Mother Lorelai : This is a good thing, teenagers shouldn’t be kissing these days.  They are too young to do so.  Now go study your Bible.’  Ok, so that was a little too Mrs. Kim.”  Rory smiled at her mother’s antics and continued walking to the door.  “Rory, you didn’t hear my ‘Father’ version yet.  It’s better, I promise!”  But Rory never got to hear it because she decided to get a head start on her homework.

           She gingerly took her AP Bio book out of her backpack and turned to Chapter 8.  She was studying animal behaviors.  Rory highlighted key information as she went down the page and stopped short when she saw an interestingly titled paragraph.

           Pecking order.

           Pecking equals kissing.

           Damnit.

           Rory tuned the pages hoping to find something like DNA to get rid of those thoughts.  Transcription is so a turn off.

           But no, she had to land on the chapter about hormones and sexuality.

           Why is biology so goddamn dirty?  Why is the world no longer pure?  Where are all the ‘Rory curtains’ to block out these sorts of things?

           If she didn’t stop thinking like this, she would never get through the next few weeks.

---

           At a little after nine, Lorelai, who had been occupying herself in front of the T.V., decided she needed some coffee.  But not just any coffee, she needed Luke’s coffee.  Lorelai went to find Rory but saw that her daughter was asleep on her bed, numerous books spread out along the bed.  Instead of waking Rory up, Lorelai decided to just go on her. 

           Minutes later, Lorelai was pushing open the door to the surprisingly bustling diner.  She took at seat at the counter and waited for service.  And just then two Danes men came to help her.

           “I got it Luke.”  Jess said as he poured coffee into a cup that he then gave to Lorelai.  She was shocked at his willingness to help.  Something must be up. 

           “Alright.”  Luke nodded hello to Lorelai and then went to take his other customers’ orders. 

           “There ya go.  Want anything else?”  Jess asked, rather politely too. 

           “Thanks, but I’m good.” She said warily.  “You ok?”  She continued after she saw him fidget uneasily with the handle of the coffee pot.

           “Can I ask you a couple of questions?”  He looked up from his hands.  Way to be subtle, man.  Now Rory’s gonna know.  She and Lorelai talk about everything.  It’s almost sickening.

           “Um, sure?”  Lorelai said and asked at the same time.  What was going on? Could this have to do with that little deal of theirs?

           “Ok.”  Jess pulled a pad and pen from his pocket and read.  “What is Rory’s favorite board game?”

           “What the hell kind of question is that?”

           “Just answer.”  He hadn’t meant to be so harsh and impolite, but it was his nature.  You always rebel against the elders.

           “Hmmm…Candyland, I think.”

           “Figures.”  Rory and her sweets.  He wouldn’t be surprised if it were Lorelai’s favorite game also.

           “Is that all?”

           “Um, no.”  But he didn’t continue for a moment. 

           “Ok…so what’s next?”  Lorelai grew impatient.  She needed to get to the bottom of this. 

           “Which do you prefer: coal or buttons?”

           “Me? Which do I prefer? Um, buttons.  Coal gets my clothes dirty, and doesn’t really hold my shirts together as well as I would like.”  Weird ass question, but ok.  Jess was a weird guy. 

           “The Parent Trap or The Lion King?” 

           “Duh, both.” How could you even choose?

           “No, pick one.”

           “Rory likes Parent Trap better.  The new one.  Lion King always makes her cry.”  Jess looked up with a raised eyebrow.  He would be sure to steer clear of The Lion King then.

           “Ok, last one.  If Rory were actually a guy, which do you think her name would be: Frank or Louis?”

           “What the hell kind of questions are these?”

           “Frank or Louis?” He demanded. 

“Hmmm, definitely not Frank.  Can you imagine her being a Frank? I so can’t.  So Louis.”

           “Is that your final answer?”

           “No.  Pick Frank Sinatra.  She may be a Louis, but she’s always loved You Look Wonderful Tonight.”  Lorelai finally caught onto the questions.  He was planning something nice for Rory.  How cute.  She wanted someone to plan something nice for her…

           “Ok. Thanks.”  Jess turned around to leave the diner for his room upstairs.

           “Wait, aren’t you gonna tell me what all this is for?”  Her eyes glowed in wonder knowing she would know a secret that Rory wouldn’t know.

           “What makes you think this is for something?”  Jess turned back around to face her and he definitely had a smirk plastered to his face.  He walked back up the stairs to his room leaving Lorelai to formulate her own ideas about the mysterious conversation.