so its monday night...and i finally got some feed back on the previous few writtings that i wrote...and i corrected a few typos as well, thats one of the disadvantages to using notepad, no spellcheck or grammercheck. thanks again 11th grade english teacher. i blame you entirely. so like i was saying its 7:30 on this moday night and i am sitting outside of kadie and ryanne's place...no one is home. but i was told to come over yesterday. from what i can tell, people find what i write about to be more interesting than comical, which is ok. i am not aspiring to be the next kevin smith, or vince vaughn...if you don't know who those guys are, well poor you. anyways...damn i use that word alot...the neighbors aren't out right now...the mother of this kid that kadie and ryanne hang out with, hate kadie and ryanne...she says that there is too much drinking, smoking, and cursing going on over here, so she doesn't want her kid around them...
one of the comments that i recieved was that i should mention something about seahorse genitalia...and i just did. just kidding melanie.well it is common fact that seahorse males carry the eggs for the females and later on (according to discovery channel and public tv(the educational channel)) they assume the maternal role. now get me if i am wrong, but i thought carrying eggs was the maternal role...but these guys think that giving birth is the mother's job.you would think that after centuries the scientists would figure out that what they see as being the male seahorse is really the female one, and just put out a letter to the world saying "sorry, our bad, we mixed up their sexes," but i don't think they have done that...i didn't get my letter. actually no one ever sends letters anymore unless it is for bills, or if they are in a remote part of the world. erin. this girl erin is stuck in the middle east...she has been deployed. that sounds like an announcement... attention attention erin has left the country ...but seriously, she hasn't been in the country for almost 2 or 3 years. whe joined the army reserve and i have attempted to keep in touch with her, but she wants to keep in touch by way of regular mail...three problems with regular mail...
1. it is slower than email...email sortof cuts out the middle man and is there right away...no overnight deliveries and email is the next best thing to instant messaging...
2. postage is expensive...its freaking 37cents to send something to someone in the states...just a letter...but if you want to send something overseas it costs a dollar or two...so as you can probably guess, i haven't sent too much snail mail(contact me @ cleeb86@hotmail.com to donate funds)
3. it has the nickname "snail mail"...think about a snail...or just the word snail, who came up with the word snail? it sounds like something a kid would come up with to describe snot..."my snot is all snaily" or "i threw my snot and it was like snail when it hit that girl in the head, and she ran into the bath room and cried", and the other boy would say "awesome"...
so i met erin when i was in middle school, going to the church i would be going to if i was still in virginia. i think i was in eigth grade and every girl in the world wanted me, atleast all that mattered to me at that time, which i think was any girl. so i think she wanted me too, because there was this rumor that i really liked her, but honestly i hadn't ever seen her before. my sister and her sister heather and erin were all friends i think and wendy my sister came up to me and asked if i liked erin with her infront of me...now i have to stop here and say that if you don't know me, you probably don't know that i am extereeeeeemely shy...these 3 well 2 and my sis, were confronting me about whether i wanted this erin girl that i had never seen, like something out of my elementary school days. i said, no, but that she was cute. and the 3 of them went to town... in my mind i was saying,"i did say no right?"...and they were cheering and singing "chris likes erin" like something else out of my elementary school days, when the fonz ruled...sorry...stay on subject... so time went on and i actually did start to like this erin...although i never let anyone know, not even her, but i did hint at it from time to time, but now that she is overseas, she tells me about this guy and that guy and how they are all special, and how they are all jerks at the same time. i just want her to be happy...back on subject... so like i said i never dated her. i did date a different girl named erin at one point, i think it was in 10th grade, i was still friends with the first erin of course...yeah it was 10th, because erin2 was a year below me and her brother was 2 years above...now erin2 was a fighter(not a punching fighter, but one of those people that will speak up about evverything and argue and argue and argue and argue and ...well you get the point), she and i would argue constantly at lunch about the most mundane things...i can't even remember what they were about. all i can really remember was that my friends didn't like her, and they weren't afraid to tell me that,...after the relationship was over. ok so to understand why i even got in this relationship is kind of wierd...i don't have an excuse...oh wait i just thought of one...almost 4 years after the fact...i was dating jamie on and off for months(the wiccan) and i just needed someone to slap me around. but it didn't work...i got back together with jamie later on, as you can read about in my first writing...she sticks out in my mind right now because i remember a school dance, i think it was homecoming. i kept trying to avoid her and hang out with another girl...i think it was melanie, but i can't remember...for some reason i think the girl i was running away to was blonde and she was running away from her date too, so it kindof worked out...erin2, i found out that night was just too energetic. and we both knew our relationship was over that night, but the thing that i impressed myself with the most is that i was able to pull off the "good night kiss." it baffled her. on monday she found me and asked me what that was all about, and i think i told her something like i was trying to be a gentleman. all in all i just wanted to see if there was a hint of anything there. which in some respects is the same thing i do with erin1...erin...i drop hints to see if she will drop something in return. i know its really juvenile, but i know that erin and i aren't blunt, thats how this whole thing got started isn't it. well not exactly but you know...
well erin sent me an email forward a few weeks ago, and i found some very interesting things about her
1. i don't know if she is interested in me
2. she doesn't like sand anymore
3. she really misses homecooked meals
4. she really misses real food
5. i still don't know if she is interested in me
smoke break
6. she really misses this
7. she really misses that
8. she really misses
9. she really misses
10. she really misses
11. she really misses
12. on and on and on...
13. i am starting to question whether she sent this to me on accident
14. now its one thing to not know a guy exists
15. but to forget him is something totaly worse
16. i think i better apologise for not writting her
17. she misses
18. she misses
19. still nothing about me
20. but there isn't really anything about anyone else either
on to 30 or 40
so at that very moment i sit on my amp, because tyler stole his chair back...jason left the bathroom door unlocked, and my fat suitemate got at it...and wrote her an apology email...i think its important to mention again how not blunt i am...i wrote this email full of remarks about how i miss her and her company and how hard it has been for me to write a letter on paper...you know that flat and flimsy stuff that comes from trees...and put it in an envelope and forget to mail it...then find it a week to a month later and try to update it, put it in an envelope and forget to mail it...then find it a week to a month later...etc...i think i even put in there that she doesn't need to keep looking for a guy, and how i thought that she and i should get together when she comes back and visits...and that if i moved overseas, i would visit her, and try to steal her away from all those nice army jerks...i tried to sound as sweet and endeering as i possibly could, and wouldn't you know it she wrote back. she said that she couldn't check email all that often and that she wants badly to keep in touch with me, or our friendship would fall apart...but since that email that i got from her, i haven't even sent her another email, or snail mail, or anything...i am such a horrible person...but still a nice guy i think...figure that one out.
i command it.
alright so on to more current events, that erin stuff happened about a month ago by the way...
eric still hasn't told that girl my phone number...i mean, i am keeping my weekdays free just for a phone call, how sad is that? all i really want is a hello...or a i hate you, so that i can move on or hang on(not respectively). do you remember seeing that word in middle school and not knowing what it meant? and then there was that one kid that would always ask the stupidest questions, like, "what does respectively mean?" or "if male dogs are called "dogs", what are girl dogs called?" thanks alot little guy, i won't ever forget the crap that spewed from your pie hole. consequently, i think that kid would up being a pole smoker...yeah, he first became a pipe smoker, and then blamed his homosexual tendencies on mary jane. i think i have ranted on our culture and its views on pot before so i won't bore you with more of my drivel on it...but look at me i think i turned out alright, and thats all that matters in my world...what i think. its just that there are so many benefits to pot...here are a few
1. low sperm count...i know that may seem like a bad thing, but think about it, there is less chance that you are gonna get that hooker/slut/whore pregnant
2. when you get old it helps with bone and eye problems...i can't spell them or i would have actually used their names...something like glaucoma and arthritis
3. slowed reaction time...this is really beneficial especially when on jeopardy...you have the time of your life seeing how smart other people are and how dumb you are, its killer fun. it will also help you avoid speeding tickets.
4. lowered sex drive...this also coinsides with number 1...you don't want a vanerial disease do you?
5. you want junk food(aka junk food cravings)...now this might seem bad...you have to have some chips, but you are out...so what do you do?...you go to the store and help our economy out, by buying a bag of chips, cookies, pizza, soda, candybars, subway subs, apples, oranges(because they look pretty), croutons, funyuns, marshmallows, graham crackers, a whole lot of water, etc. etc.
6. memory lapse...this also goes along with number 1...who wants to remember what that hooker/slut/whore that you slept with looked like and the list goes on and on...
but back to what this "rant" is really about...um...stuff.
well i just talked to melanie...and she thought that i didn't know that the male seahorse carried the kids...i watch tv dear. more than i should probably. but now that i cut off my cable(i only have the internet, and don't feel like getting the special filters or descramblers), i don't watch so much anymore...i just download movies. so anyways now that i don't watch tv, i have alot more time on my hands...i even started playing a game called persona 2...its a role playing game, but i think it was created mostly by women. at every turn of the game you are required to talk to people or the monsters that you are supposed to kill. its really wierd. in a typical game if someone approaches you and they are looking to fight, you can't interrogate them, or interview them in order to get stuff from them, you have to kill them...on second thought maybe this game was created by someone that thought the youth of today doesn't communicate very well. i myself have had that problem since i was a child...my mom always told me that i need to work on my communication skills. i thought that i was doing ok, because every time she wanted to know something, i would tell her whats up, to the best of my ability, to the point where i didn't think i would get in trouble. i don't think she knows that i smoked pot when i was in louisiana, or that i have had sex, but i don't think she would be too happy about that. theres not really anything that she can say to make any of that not true either though...besides even if she did have a time machine i don't think she could go back and warn me any differently than she already had. there was this abstinence sex tape that she showed my sister and i, when i was 14. i think i was 14 anyway. and in this tape there were these teens telling about stds and love and faithfulness and religion. and at the time i was extremely in to the bible and all that stuff, but i hadn't ever seen any of the things that were being talked about in the tape. it was the most sex-ed that i had been given at that point too. i was opted out of 10th grade biology sex class for crying out loud...everyone else in the class got to learn about what they had been carrying around for a decade and a half, but i just had to wonder what that dangly thing between my legs was. well i sortof knew at this point...i had hit puberty long before and ihad seen plenty of scratched pornos if you remember. its probably better to know what you are doing the first time that you have sex, than to go in blind. of course no one can really argue that, because you only have a first time once. my first time was with jamie2...she and i fell in love when i was a sophmore and i skipped that biology class daily with her...it was the last period of the day...but the wierdest thing about jamie2 was that she wasn't offended by the mention of her period...she wouldn't let me go down on her or anything, when she had it...actually i never went down on her. anyways, stephen called her a "fat cow", and maybe she was a little overweight, but who cares...that has nothing to do with what i am talking about. anyways she was my first. and i think that i was her 50th or something close to it. it was on a sunday night...i will not give exact details...and my older brother was babysitting me and my siblings. i told him that i was getting picked up for the evening service so that i could go and see jamie2...well anyway, her granddad comes and picks me up and takes me to her, and we watch tv and then get going...she wants on top...ok...uh huh...2 hours later...we were still going at it, when she got a phone call...it was my mom...church was over and she was at home, freaking out because i wasn't there, at church or at home...and let me tell you she was pissed. she left as soon as she found out that i was at jamie2's...she picked me up and grounded me for 2 weeks...now that doesn't seem so harsh, for running away to someone's house, and sleeping with them, but it really was...my lover was sick and was beggin my mom to speak to me...anyways, although it was my first time, most men ejaculate really early...this went on for two hours, as i so said before...and well i didn't really leave a seed until the next year...but this is about jamie2 right now. well she had given blowjobs and handjobs, and i still hadn't came...so we did the nasty... this really frustrated her and made her feel small and insignificant...she thought that she had lost her touch. so after the two weeks, around 2 weeks later she was really frustrated and decided to see if she had lost her touch on another guy...and she hadn't, he got a blowjob, i got screwed(and i am not talking about sexually right now), but in her grief from cheating on me, my other "friend" becky consoled her and then slept with her. well as you can guess the relationship didn't really last too much longer...i forgave her but she couldn't, and why? because i am a nice guy. becky told me (at church no less), that jamie2 had something to tell me, so i called her and she broke the news to me over the church's phone. i was still so in love that i just had to let that stuff go. i am almost done now. jamie2 looked alot like sarah mac glauclin(i know that isn't spelled right...i don't wanna get sued for, using her name and not including her somewhere in the credits). and at the time when we broke up, she put out a song called adia...i started crying whenever i saw her face.
oh and one time back in the day i dated this girl named jen
see you next time
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