warning label
caution speed readers...reading too fast may cause crosseyedness.
laying in bed with dykes...
so after my 11 hour sleep in bed last night...i got up around 1... i sat around
for about 2 hours after smoking a cigarette...reason being, i smoked the
first of the day really fast...its the only way to get a really good buzz for
really cheap, and you don't wanna smoke another for about an hour, i don't
know if this is the best way to quit smoking, but i don't care. well as i was
sitting outside, i realized that i was really hungry. i had a cup of
ramon(only $0.13 a package, and there are still people going hungry in this
country...the military sells their meals for almost $7, and ramon tastes
better than the crap that the military packages up for us)...i finished my
breakfast/lunch and went outside, over to a lesbian's room, and she was
sleeping or doing something that i don't need to know about. she is
already into these... so called rants, so i will try to appease her. i mean i
have already mentioned her once in my writtings...and no i am not writting
this edition to try and get in bed with her... although i am sure that the
change would be great for her... i mean like i said...i have a monster tongue.
but oh well if she can't handle it, she can't handle it... the option is yours.
so i watched the shawshenk redemption today, for the first time...i know
its a really popular movie and that everyone and their mother has seen it
at some point, but i haven't. i wasn't into that type of movie when it came
out, i was more satisfied with the stupid comedies, like the comedies that
came out at the same time...i have no idea which movies they are, but i was
into them... so i am sitting in a chair watching this movie and get
uncomfortable and she tells me to get comfy like on the bed...but she had
the a/c up all the way(or to a point where it was too much for a boney
bastard like me), so i hopped in the bed with her...got up really close so
that i could do her from behind if we were naked...she said nothing...she
liked it...she wants me(hahaha)...so i start to jokingly dry hump her in bed
and feel up her leg, when she says i need to watch where my hand is
going...and i was... especially since she hadn't shaved her legs in about a
week...gross... but is it really? why would women grow hair on their legs if
not for some strange plan of god's, buddah's, jehovah's, or stephen king's
big master plan for human existence? and for that matter unibrows... i
have one, i know some girls with them... i even know some gils with
moustaches, thicker than any that i could grow. i can't even grow a
sideburn on my left side, even if i shave that side of my face just to get
little bits of fuzz...its barren on that side... i have tried everything...
shaving, not shaving...well thats about all that i am willing to try. i won't
do that peanut butter thing that they did in that 80's movie, where they
shaved this kid's head everyday, and his hair wouldn't stop growing...i
think it was a horror flick...his hair grew in feet by the minute and they
couldn't get it to stop...his house and everywhere was filled with hair.
trashbag after trashbag, filled with hair...now i have dreams where i have
grown hair out to where it was before i joined this destructive-government-organized-nationally-funded cult we call the air force...and i just stand in front of the mirror playing with it...stroking my hair, pulling it back to put in a pony-tail, leaving it in front of my face, like a curtain of weeping willow's branches...those are the happiest dreams that i can remember... the only dream that compairs with that is the one
where i was on a train...i was chasing carmen san diego. my partner and i finally found her and chased her onto the roof of the caboose. chased her to the front of the train, dodging the rooves(or is it roofs) of tunnels and telephone poles and penguins, until the train crashed. all 3 of us were thrown into the snow. the train was a wreck, and my partner and carmen were both dead. i thought that i should be dead too, there was a large fence post sticking through my stomache. now it doesn't seem like it was a
happy ending, but i was alive, and carmen had finally paid for her transgressions, so if you wanna call it sad, do so...now, if not, then consider it a happy ending. that dream proved to me that the supersticious belief that if you die in your sleep, you die in real life, is not true...i died, or should have and here i am still writting... now i don't know if the sneeze myth is true, if you sneeze and fart at the sme time you die, but cmon that doesn't sound life threatening...i mean can you imagine reading that in an
obituary: 13 year old male by the name of "So And So Branco", died tragicly from a condition of farting and sneezing at the same time.? that would just get looked over as a joke. and can you imagine the embarrasment of the parents? i don't know about you but i wouldn't want to tell my 60 year old girlfriend that my brother So died from a freak
farting accident. i don't think she would be able to take it... the laughter, or the thought that her grand kids might just try something like that after reading the paper...you know how kids are...if one dies from something, every kid will... like that whole beavis and butthead fire fart thing...but really how many kids do you know that read the obituaries, besides me, and all the goths? and if you were like me and all the other kids then you were jealous of the kids with the calculator watches. i didn't ever get one...in fact there were alot of things as a kid that i didn't ever get... like
those cool trapperkeepers, not the ones with unicorns on them, but the ones with the really morphed out skaters, bikers, or penguins on them, or the really cool gi joes with the cool battle gear and the special once in a life-time vehicles, or that really cool barbie doll that i have mentioned so many times before...i think it was a malibu, or maybe it was the army one...i do have a thing for girls in uniform... why else would i go to the football games, but to see the cheerleaders, of course that is a totally
different story... i mean they all look so hot in their little skirts and shirts. and they think that they are really part of the game when really they are just eye candy for all those horny guys and gals going through puberty, trying to experiment with drugs, alcohol and sexuality. most of the kids i knew in highschool were the ones that brought a water bottle filled with vodka or gin or something like that... but what i am talking
about is the girls in military uniforms and police uniforms... there is just something hot about a woman in a position of authority, but those girls in sport uniforms are the hottest of all...soccer uniforms especially... the shin guards that make the girl look like they have socks hiked up and the short shorts. just makes me wanna go and download some pictures of mia hamm, even though she isn't really that hot.
now listening to rap music i have noticed that putting your hands up is the
thing to do...i mean they say so in the music... and every rap show that i
have been to, be it was more af an alternative group, the crowd obeys the
artist...hands up all around, even the people sitting in the lawn, way in the
back...(mostly white folks back there(thats where i was anyway))...i went
to 2 roots concerts and a lauryn hill concert...but most people that like
rap, don't like mrs hill's stuff, but i do and thats all that matters... you
are just the reader, and i have full control of your thoughts...well until you
take your eyes off whatever medium you are reading this from(most likely
a monitor)... so until then, read on... but back on the music subject... the
rap songs of today are all about hussies, whores, these hoes...whats up with
that...when is there gonna be a rap song by a mainstream artist about a
regular girl...and to go along with that there are so many rock songs about
messed up girls too. girls that make guys crazy, girls that get guns, girls
that are just insane...
ok here is what was going to be the beginning and middle of #8...
8 children afraid of drowing...
so i am over at kadie and ryanne's place and i step out to have a smoke...
their front door overlooks the pool and i could see and of course hear
these children playing in the water. there is a wall offset, but close to the
middle of the pool. anyways the kids are between the ages of 5 and 10
and were playing in a way where they have to either come close to the wall or
go over it or something. the bigger kids were making the smaller kids go to
the wall. and this woman looked to be close to fifty, struts over to the
pool from her lawn chair, i think she was tanning(which i don't know what
she was thinking, she was wearing a shirt to tan in?) and starts to yell at
the older kids for trying to throw the smaller kids in the pool. don't
throw the little ones in the pool, they don't know how to swim and are
scared...one of the older kids(a girl) tell her that they weren't gonna
throw the little ones over the wall, they were just making them touch the
wall and then swim back, so the old woman repeats herself, word for word,
and then the girl repeats herself word for word almost, she changed it
around because this woman was not catching the drift, they weren't gonna
throw the kids over...and the old woman tells the girl again that the
smaller kids are scared... i have had my share of being scared, thoughts of
marriage, broken hearts, friends financial problems, friends being abused,
crapping my pants in school, just about anything that you can imagine, but
i never have wanted any of my shortcomings announced, unless it is for
somesort of good cause. what i am saying is, if a woman says that i am
scared of getting in the deep end(at that age) i would jump in there(risk
drowning) just to spite her. now i just don't care. when i was a little
kid i was best friends with my next door neighbor's kid, travis. they had
a pool over there and everyday during the summer i would go over there and
swim, but his mom would make us wear those big goofy waterwings(those
big tubes that you wear on your arms to keep you afloat. i knew how to swim
so i hated them, but travis needed them because he couldn't swim, not
because he was afraid of drowning, atleast that is what i thought. i didn't know
any different until his mother told me after telling me repeatedly to put
them back on, that travis couldn't swim, and that he was afraid of water...
this was the first time in my life i had ever heard of such a thing. how
could someone be afraid of 75% of themselves?
thats the start anyway...
i don't know if i am going to finish it unless i get an email back, saying so...
cleeb86@hotmail.com
or
chris64@www.com
well i think that just about does it for this edition of read my crap
um if you got this far then you probably have already seen the first 6
0 dorm room
#6 beep beep went the gay-o-meter
#9 my dear sweet evil child just turned 3 this year
