Chapter 3: Another test! You All Fail!?

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by 3D Master (3dmaster@telfort.nl)

Next morning

Ninja Academy class room

Grinning widely, Naruta stepped into the class room, with her arms behind her head, her back was straight and she pushed herself forward for all to see.  Her trademark orange skirt fluttered a bit as she came to a stop, looking around the room.  It was already half full, and was steadily filling with the others.  She looked to her right, and saw Hinata sitting next to another student all the way in the back.  Naruta shook her head, and walked over.

“Yo, Kenshin, move,” Naruta told the boy next to Hinata.  The boy dressed in a brown jacket, a white, red-striped shirt, and some grey knee-length pants, turned his head lazily around and gave a silent query.  “Move to a different seat, Kenshin, us girls need to stick together,” Naruta repeated the demand, smiling with her face close to the boy.

“Ah, okay, Naruta,” the boy muttered, blushing lightly at the close proximity of a rather pretty girl.  The boy moved up one row, and Naruta dumped herself without ceremony next to Hinata.  She didn’t often sit next to her - Naruta preferred to be the center of attention, so obviously she usually sat somewhere in the middle or all the way up front.  Hinata didn’t have the guts to join her, and always remained all the way in the back.

“N-naruta-chan,” Hinata said nervously at her idol sitting next to her on a rare occasion, not to mention a tad mortified at the blonde’s rather brash, and yet somehow cute handling of the boy.

“Did you say something, Hinata?  You were stuttering and you’re such a quiet girl,” Naruta asked with a sweet smile and sparkling blue eyes.

The white-eyed girl gulped disappointed in so many things, mostly herself and said, “Sorry.”

“Better, but next time you should yell my face full for calling you a quiet girl,” Naruta returned with a smile and a wink.  Hinata’s eyes widened in shock, and forced herself to dare to look at Naruta, making her blush lightly.

There was a trampling like a herd of rhino’s stampeding and the door to the left and back of them was shoved open violently.  Two girls, one in a red dress with pink-hair, the other a pale blonde in a purple top and skirt and wrapped in bandages underneath, were struggling together to pass through the narrow door.  One girl would fit through it easily, two at the same time though.  Both were forcing themselves through the door, and finally shoved passed the entrance.

“Goal!” both exclaimed at the same time.

Naruta, and Hinata more timidly, turned to face the two new entries.  “I win again, Sakura,” Ino told the pink-haired girl.

“What are you talking about!?  My left foot was a full centimeter earlier!” Sakura returned with an angry growl.

Naruta chuckled and couldn’t help but add, “Wow, if it isn’t the Siamese idiot twins. Hey, Sakura, do you have such a large forehead because the doctors couldn’t separate you two perfectly down the middle?”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY, BLONDIEE!!?” Sakura screeched at Naruta.

Simultaneously, Ino’s screech joined her rivals, “WHAT DID YOU SAY, WHISKER-TAILS!?”

Naruta smiled brightly, already knowing the outcome.  “I’m blonde too, Forehead Girl!” Ino said turned to Sakura.

“I don’t care, Ino-pig!” Sakura replied in her own characteristic angry growl.

As the two continued their arguments, Naruta turned to a blushing Hinata who was wiggling her fingers nervously, and whispered with her left hand in front of her mouth, “Far too easy.  And just before they can remember me . . .”

There was an annoyed grunt somewhere, and the two paused, then looked forward, Ino with a smile, and Sakura with a light blush.  Their eyes had found the source of the grunt - Uchiha Sasuke, number one rookie, genius and dreamboat to girls anywhere.

“Right on cue,” Naruta winked at Hinata and turned toward the Uchiha.  She saw him peering out from the corner of his eyes toward her and the other girls, and she gave him a cute wave, then blew him a kiss.  Instantly the Uchiha’s head snapped front and center, and Naruta leant toward a wide-eyed Hinata, and whispered, “He’s got a secret crush on me he himself doesn’t want to acknowledge you know.  Can’t stand the thought of me getting man-handled by the barbarians behind us.”

The two girls went to join some other girls that gathered around the table the Uchiha was sitting at.  “A-ano, Naruta-chan, I’m not sure that’s why . . .” Hinata’s eyes fell on the crowd of girls, and then looked again to her idol, who was obviously not concerned in the least every other girl always followed the Uchiha around like a bunch of love-sick puppies.  Or maybe that was horny groupies.  Hinata blushed and quickly banished the thought.  She fully turned to Naruta, who was just smiling at her, and she asked, “Wh-why are you . . . uh . . . never worried?”

Naruta giggled, and answered, “Because I know Sasuke, the fan-girls don’t.  He hates them with a fiery passion, even if he looks smooth and cool on the outside.”

It was that moment that Iruka-sensei chose to enter the classroom, and called out, “Everybody sit down!”  He waited as the girls grudgingly found some seats, only Sakura and Ino managing to get seats at the same table as Sasuke.  Sakura seemed to enjoy rubbing it into Ino’s face with gestures that she was the one who snatched the seat right next to the genius. “All right, now that everyone is sitting,” Iruka-sensei started, and looked around the room, “let me first congratulate you all on graduating again.  You’ll start your lives as ninja today.  You will be all be in teams of three under a jounin teacher.  I will start naming the teams and the teachers now.”

Naruta smiled, as she thought about it.  Three-man team.  Sasuke and . . . Naruta turned to look to her right and found Hinata looking at her with a smile, a sudden blush forming as the orange-clad kunoichi looked at her.  Hinata would be a nice addition - but really, Naruta didn’t mind all that much; as long as it wasn’t Ami¹ or Forehead-girl she could live with any team mates.

As Iruka started announcing the teams, there were others going through wishes for team mates as well.  Hinata’s wish was Naruta of course, blushing when the blonde girl gave her a look, then she looked shyly over to a boy with a puppy on his head, and thought, *Kiba-kun.  I hope I get to be with you and Naruta-chan in a team.  That would be . . . uh, but . . . uh . . . could I?  I can’t even talk to him . . . in a team?  Maybe I sh-shouldn’t.*

Sakura looked up, and was imagining magnificent romance scenarios between her and her team mate Uchiha Sasuke.  Next to her Ino asked slyly, “Hey, Sakura, who do you think you’re going to be teamed with?”

Sakura looked to her right, to the one asking the question, her rival Yamanaka Ino.  The pony-tailed blonde looked slyly at her.  “I’m not psychic, am I?” Sakura answered her coolly, and then looked straight ahead again.  Inside of her, an Inner Sakura happily screamed, “Fuck psychic!  I’ll be with Sasuke-kun!  Hell yeah!”  Sakura didn’t let the satisfaction at her inner self’s outburst show, and instead wondered who else she wanted to be with.  Well, as long as it wasn’t blondie, or . . . she turned her head to the other blonde, and narrowed her eyes at her.   Ino noticed, turned her own head to Sakura and returned the glare.

Next to them, Sasuke thought annoyed to himself, *Two team mates.  They’ll only hold me back, how annoying.*

“Team 6,” Iruka announced casually, reading them off of his page, “Fujita Ami.”  A girl with loose shoulder-length, pale, dark purple hair perked up at her name, and made silent prayers that one of the names following would be Uchiha Sasuke.  “Ramunike Kenshin . . .”

“My condolences,” Naruta whispered to the boy in front of her that had vacated his spot for her.  The boy blinked and turned around confused.

“. . . and Okubo Yoshi, under jounin teacher Gekkou Hayate²,” Iruka finished his latest team announcement.

“Team 7; Haruno Sakura . . .”  Sakura perked up at her name.  “Uzumaki Naruta . . .”

The two girls stood up, one pointing to her right and back at the other, the other pointing to her front and left at the one, both speaking at the same time:

“Not Forehead-girl!”

“Not dead-last Blondie!”

Then the two glared at each other.

“Sit down, right now you’re /both/ acting like dead lasts,” Iruka snapped, and the two girls sank down into their seats sulking.  Iruka nodded, and said, “Now then, number three in Team 7 is Nara Shikamaru.”  The lazy boy in question raised his head from his arms mildly as his mind casually processed the information.  “And your jounin-teacher is Yuuhi Kurenai.”

“Wait, those are all girls.  I’m in an all-girl team,” Shikamaru commented a little alarmed and out loud.  Akamichi Chouji sitting next to him looked a little surprised.  Shikamaru just did not raise his voice - it was too troublesome as he said.  For him to raise his voice . . .

“I don’t think your jounin instructor would appreciate being called a ‘girl’, Shikamaru,” Iruka told him seriously.  “I think she’d like to be considered a ‘woman’ by now.”  Several chuckles came from the male members in the class.

Shikamaru let out a sigh, and muttered, “This is very, very troublesome.”  Chouji was even more surprised, this time taking in his friend and checking if it wasn’t someone else in a henge, or some type of illusion.  Shikamaru did not add even one ‘very’, it was too troublesome, if he added two of them . . . it was the same as if he, Chouji, or some other boy, would grab his own hair in horror and ran away screaming.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Sakura hissed, the girl sitting one table in front of him, while Ino simply slowly giggled over her rival’s fate.  Sasuke all the way to the left, characteristically didn’t say a thing, just kept his head supported by his hands, looking straight on, annoyed.

Shikamaru let out a sigh, and muttered, “Troublesome.”  Chouji grinned slightly, his friend was back to his old self already.

*****

In the Hokage tower a group of people, the jounins that were the soon to be instructors, looked into the crystal ball in front of the Hokage, which was showing the proceedings.  “I do not envy you, Kurenai,” one of the jounins spoke, another coughed subdued.

“Oh, on the contrary,” Kurenai said, looking at the crystal ball with a smile.  She was secretly pleased Naruta was in her team.  She knew some of her process through having helped her with reading and math, she would be interesting indeed.  And the boy, a momentary evil gleam shifted through her eyes, as she said, “The girls haven’t called each other ‘bitch’, so that’s a good sign, and I think the boy will excel in an ‘all-girl team’.”

“Hm,” the Hokage agreed with a nod, “That’s what Iruka thought for some reason.”

*****

Before Sakura could start verbally or physically molesting the shadow master, Iruka continued loud enough to draw anyone’s attention, “Team 8; Inuzuka Kiba . . .”

The boy told the dog on his head slowly, “That’s us, Akamaru.”  The dog barked happily.

“Aburame Shino . . .”  The sunglasses on the boy in question’s head gleamed for a moment as he slightly adjusted his head, then pushed the glasses up with his left index finger.

“. . . and Hyuuga Hinata,” Iruka-sensei finished.

Hinata sucked in a very quick, but sharp breath.  She sat frozen, but managed to force her head to move to look at the loud boy from the dog clan.  A blush crept up her face, while doing happy jumps in her head.  Naruta was still stewing over being teamed with ‘forehead-girl’ so she didn’t notice.

“Teaching Team 8 will be Sarutobi Asuma,” Iruka said, and looked up.  Ino, grinned, she had done the math.  Sasuke didn’t care, and neither did Chouji.  “That leaves only Team 10, there’s still a Team 9 from last year.  Part of Team 10 are Akamichi Chouji, Uchiha Sasuke, and Yamanaka Ino, your instructor is Hatake Kakashi.”

“Yes!” Ino hissed, and Sasuke grumbled in annoyance.  “Hey, Sakura, no hard feelings, but Sasuke-kun is really already mine.”

Sakura looked shocked, that of all people her greatest rival got to team with the Uchiha. Inner Sakura was raging, ‘Noo!  What past life crime did I do to deserve this!?  I should kick her ass!  Hell yeah!’

Out loud the pink-haired kunoichi said, “Don’t count on it, Ino-pig.  In his team or not, I will win.”

“Now, everyone wait here, your instructors will come pick you up in the next fifteen minutes.  Good luck, everyone,” Iruka said, and after another sad look around the classroom, he left.

One by one the jounins came to pick up their teams, Team 7 being taken out by a magnificent raven-haired beauty with unusual red-irises for eyes.  In the end, only Team 10 would be the last to still wait for their instructor, and wait . . . and wait . . . and wait . . . until, finally, eventually, their instructor would come pick them up . . . far too late, as usual as they would find out.

*****

The junior members of Team 7 followed their teacher out the ninja academy.  Once outside the woman said, “I’m your teacher, and before we do anything else, we’re going to eat something together and introduce ourselves properly to each other.”

“Ramen!” Naruta exclaimed excitedly.

“Of course not, Dead Last!” Sakura hissed.  Unheard by the two of them over their violent outbursts, Shikamaru - his hands in his pocket and lazily walking along - sighed and said his trademarked ‘troublesome’.  Their teacher noticed though.

“Ramen is great!” Naruta returned stubbornly and loud.  As the team walked out onto the street several people’s heads turned to look at the commotion, and then narrowed in cold hatred at the blonde.  Naruta and Sakura were oblivious, the first too used to it to bother with, and Sakura too into arguing with the blonde girl.  Shikamaru noticed it a little, but said nothing.

“No ramen,” Kurenai cut through the chatter with a commanding tone that instantly ended the two’s chatter.  Shikamaru sighed when Sakura sent a smug look to Naruta to the right of her, while Naruta just glared back.  Shikamaru to the left of Sakura wondered if he should walk in the middle next time.  Nah, it’d be just his luck for the two to go to war anyway, and having to keep them apart and from crushing him in the middle was just too troublesome.  “Not today, at least,” Kurenai added, and now it was Naruta’s turn to return a smug look to the pink-haired Kunoichi.

Shikamaru stole a bored look at the two and then the woman teacher in front of him, and he wondered what the hell he had done to deserve this.  He stopped in time when his new teacher did, his two team mates, who spent the time more glaring at each other walking, smacked right into the female jounin.

Kurenai whipped about as the two girls tried to cover up their embarrassment.  “Watch where you’re going,” Kurenai admonished them with a dangerous tone, that had the two make salutes and other gestures of obedience, while stepping back and composing themselves.   Kurenai turned around and looked upon their destination, while thinking that Shikamaru and the jounin back in the Hokage tower may have a point after all.  “Behold, the best restaurant in Konoha, Imaraku’s Fish & Chips,” Kurenai said with a smile.  Her three genin peered around her at what she had indicated, and looked incredulously at the old rundown place, with an even older and faded sign on the front.  Two dingy tables with just as dingy chairs in front of it.  The wooden building, had a brown and green theme going . . . once upon a time, no doubt.

“Fish & Chips?” Naruta asked dumbfounded, and very skeptical at the small place. “What the hell are chips anyway, sensei!?” she then exclaimed pointing an accusing finger at their teacher.

“Troublesome,” Shikamaru muttered after a sigh, having seen the place.

“Ah-ah, Naruta, Shikamaru-san, I’m sure that the sensei knows her restaurants,” Sakura said nervously, not wanting to get on the wrong foot with their sensei.  Inside of her though, her inner self raged, ‘Knows her restaurants my foot!  It’s a miracle the place isn’t condemned!  And yeah, what the hell /are/ chips anyway!?  Huh!  Naruta is /so/ right!’

“Thank you, Sakura,” Kurenai said looking at the girl behind her, making Sakura swallow guiltily and look away a bit at her inner self’s tantrum even if no one but her heard it. “And Naruta, chips are fried potatoes.”

“Fried potatoes?” Naruta asked more than a little skeptically, looking at her sensei with narrowed eyes.  Maito Gai was a lunatic, even if he was a loveable one, Hatake Kakashi was no better - not a mention a pervert, Naruta had thought one of the people helping her out at least was reasonably normal.  She was going to have to seriously reassess that notion.

“Fish?” Shikamaru added his other doubt, keeping the amount of mouth movements he had to make to a minimum.  The girls all turned to him, and he clarified, “There’s no sea or deep river to catch fish near Konoha.”

“It’s imported . . .” Kurenai explained, and added just a tad sheepishly, “. . . which means that there isn’t always fish.”

“So it’s really just chips then?” Sakura asked before she could stop herself, and clamped her hands over her mouth.

“Yeah!  What’s up with that!?  And where does he get the potatoes, huh?  They don’t grow here either,” Naruta exclaimed in disbelief, looking up at Kurenai.

Inner Sakura happily yelled unheard by anyone but Sakura, ‘Hell, yeah!  Naruta’s annoying and loud, but she’s got a point!’

“Actually, they /do/,” Kurenai answered with a smile, “/She/, that is the owner and chef cook, grows them herself.  And there’s much more to be ordered than fish and chips.  There’s vegetarian dishes, meat dishes, rice dishes - about the only thing it doesn’t have is ramen.   Now, enough questioning my authority, let’s go inside.”

“Uh, then how come it’s called Fish & Chips?” Naruta asked as the other two slowly started to follow their jounin teacher, who herself was walking toward the restaurant.

Kurenai turned her head, narrowed her eyes, and told her, “Because it’s the only place in Konoha that makes fish and chips.  Now move.”  Naruta quickly complied.

A short while later the four of them were sitting around a small table.  The genins looked around the surprisingly okay looking interior in comparison to the exterior.  There was a counter behind which was a kitchen, which continued as seen through a doorway to the back of the room.  The round tables seemed sturdy, and the wooden wall panels well maintained.

A woman in her mid to late twenties in a chef’s uniform stepped up to their table.  “Good to see you again, Kurenai-san, you’ve brought company, I see,” the woman took in the three genin one by one, handing each a menu in the process.

“Yes, indeed, Michi-san, this is my genin-team.  It was assigned to me today,” Kurenai said with a light smile.  “We’re here for a nice meal and to get to know each other.  The one next to me is Haruno Sakura, on the side is Uzumaki Naruta, and across from her is Nara Shikamaru.  This is the owner, and chef of this restaurant.”  The woman smiled.

“So you’re Imaraku?” Naruta asked enthusiastically.

“No,” the woman answered with a smile, making the genins frown, “I used to be, but then I married a Koshin, so now I’m Koshin Michi.”

“Then why’s the place still called Imaraku, huh, huh?” Naruta asked with a frown, making Shikamaru sigh, and Sakura look annoyed at her.  Kurenai just smiled and watched the interplay.

“Because it’s been called that since my great great grandfather founded it,” Michi answered with a smile, straightening up with pride.  “It’s carried the same name while my great grandfather ran it, my grandfather ran it, and my father ran it.  We are the family that has been cooking potatoes in many different ways since before recorded history our family legend has it³.  So I feel the name should stay the same.”

“I /knew/ it!” Naruta exclaimed, putting her right fist into her left palm.  “The place looked like it was older than dirt.  Maybe we should change the name from Hidden Village in the Leaf, to Hidden Village built around the Fish & Chips Restaurant!”

‘Hell yeah!’ Inner Sakura agreed.

Before any of her team mates, jounin teacher included could say anything, Michi produced a hidden wooden spoon and conked Naruta over the head with it.  “Ow!” she exclaimed, grabbing her head and rubbing the painful spot right on top.

Michi put her enraged face directly in Naruta’s.  For just a moment Naruta imagined it were the cold, hateful eyes, but then realized they were the opposite.  The woman’s eyes were boiling hot, as she told her loudly, “I always kept an open mind about the prankster of Konoha, brat, but I’m starting to think the others were correct about you after all.”

“Ahah, so-sorry!” Naruta stuttered out afraid, pushing back in her seat.  Kurenai stifled a laugh, and just smiled amused, while Shikamaru sighed, and Sakura looked with wide eyes at the woman.

“You better be, you got an order?” Koshin Michi requested with narrow eyes.

Naruta’s brain rushed to find an order.  She really didn’t want to tell the woman she hadn’t even read the menu yet, let alone made up her mind; she had the distinct feeling a head, namely hers, would roll if she let the woman wait.  Of course, Kurenai-sensei had said there was no ramen to be had here, that really left only on option.  “F-fish and chips.”

The woman straightened up and smiled pleasantly, in an instant all rancor forgotten. Sweetly she said while nodding once, “Now that I can do.  One fish and chips coming up.   Anything to drink while you wait?”

“Water,” Naruta quickly said, not wanting to take her chances despite the woman seemingly being defused.

“Water, it is.  Have any of you made up your mind yet?” Koshin Michi asked with an easy, but somewhat mischievous smile - like a cat that just ate a canary.

With Sakura still a little intimidated, and Shikamaru as usual lazy, they hadn’t had a chance to open their menus either.  Kurenai didn’t need to see the menu, “Steak and chips, and orange juice to drink, Michi-san.”

“Good choice, Kurenai-san, and the two remaining little ones?” Michi asked, a rather normal smile on her face now.

Shikamaru had been contemplating if opening the menu was worth the trouble, especially with the scary woman standing right there.  As the cook complimented sensei’s choice, he didn’t need to think any longer.  “The same please, except a soda to drink,” Shikamaru said calmly, and handed the woman the menu.  She took it and wrote down the order.

“Me too, Koshin-san, but with juice again,” Sakura said a little intimidated, even her inner self was quiet - after agreeing with Naruta it had been as if the woman’s anger had touched Inner Sakura as well.

“Very well,” the woman nodded, adding a third notch behind the order and a second one behind the juice, then she took the menu.  “I will return soon with your drinks, honored guests.  And please, call me Michi-san, Koshin-san makes me want to look behind me for my husband.”  Then the woman was off.

After a moment of silence, where everyone, especially Naruta and Shikamaru were contemplating the woman’s behavior, Kurenai started speaking with smile, “Well, then, it’s time to get to know each other.  I’ll go first: I’m Yuuhi Kurenai.  I like beautiful clothes and jewelry, I also like to spend time with my girl friends.  I dislike people who judge how good I am as a ninja by my gender, not by my abilities.”  Kurenai paused, letting the dark edge in her voice ebb away, while her genin looked at with wide eyes.

Michi returned, this time holding serving plate and four drinks.  “A soda, orange juice, orange juice, and water, there you are,” she said and she placed the drinks on the table.  She gave a polite bow and then returned to her cooking.

Kurenai took a sip from the juice, and then said, “Where was I?  Oh, yes.  My dream is to one day have a family and raise my children to be great ninja, and to prove to those types of people I am a great ninja regardless of my gender - and I will start with that by being the best sensei you three could hope for!”

The two girls looked with sparkly eyes at their sensei, while Shikamaru sighed.   Undoubtedly the woman expected him along with his team mates to turn into some kind of super ninja, maybe even Hokage candidates with that attitude.  Which meant massive amounts of work, which would just be all kinds of troublesome.

“Well, who goes next?” Kurenai asked looking around his group of genin.  She had noticed the Nara boy’s sigh, but chose to ignore it.

Naruta jumped up, her right arm enthusiastically in the air, “Me!  Me!  Me!  I am Uzumaki Naruta.  I love cup ramen, but I like Old Cutie Ichiraku’s ramen more, and I like Uchiha Sasuke.”  Naruta paused for a moment, while Sakura glared at the pigtailed blonde. Naruta continued, “I hate the three minutes I have to wait for ramen to be finished cooking, and Sasuke’s general attitude.  I have a goal and a dream.  The goal is to make Sasuke roll on the ground in a big belly laugh and make him admit it’s better to laugh than scowl haughtily all the time, and my dream . . . my dream is to take the Hokage name and surpass all the previous Hokages!”  She finished her proclaim by slamming her raised hand back down onto the table.  A few of the drinks spilled over the edge of the glass just a little.

All three looked a little surprised at Naruta after her outburst.  She smiled a wide grin.   Even Kurenai was surprised.  Through having helped with her reading she was aware of Naruta’s dream to become Hokage, but surpassing all previous ones was something new, and her whole idea about getting the Uchiha kid to loosen up was definitely surprising.  Was it wrong to think the pigtailed girl had better chances at becoming Hokage and surpassing all previous ones?

Shikamaru, too lazy to put in the effort to get genuinely surprised, recovered first, and said, “You Hokage . . . troublesome.”

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Naruta demanded sharply from Shikamaru, looking at him with a cold, determined look.

Truth be told, now that Shikamaru thought about it, he could see many troublesome things with dead last and Konoha’s number one prankster being Hokage, but his mind was still in mode of his teacher’s goal of being a great teacher when he made his comment, and as such quickly explained, “J-just that sensei being a great teacher already meant she expected us to be great, with you definitely wanting to be Hokage she’ll put in extra effort to help.  She’ll expect us to keep up, and so there will be lots of troublesome hard work.”

“Oh,” Naruta replied, then nodded satisfactorily and sat down.

“Don’t talk about Sasuke like you own him, Blondie.  And Hokage?  Don’t make me laugh, Dead Last,” Sakura told her moodily.

“Say it again, but now to the fist, Forehead Girl!” Naruta told the pink-haired girl angrily, balling her right hand into a fist and holding it up.

Before a fight could actually start, Kurenai cut through it with a sharp tone, saying, “He’s right, you know.  Lot’s of training.  And Shikamaru, I’ll make sure yours are extra, extra troublesome.”  With her goal of the girls’ attentions being back on her succeeded, Kurenai looked pointedly at Shikamaru and chuckled lightly, but evilly.

Shikamaru shivered, and looked away, while thinking to himself, *Scary.*

“Sakura, you’re next,” Kurenai said with a nod to the pink-haired kunoichi.

Sakura nodded, and started, “My name is Haruna Sakura.  I like . . .”  Sakura paused, thinking of several things to say, but her mind irrevocably focusing on a certain number one rookie.  “Hmm,” Sakura only managed a little embarrassed and continued.  “My hobbies are . . .”  Oh, boy what were her hobbies?  Did she really have any?  Well, there was always impressing . . .  “Ah,” she muttered, realizing she was about to say something embarrassing again.  So she quickly moved on, “And my dream is . . .”  Her dream, the images fluttered through her mind, and really, the only thing she could do was putting her hands in front of her chest, shake her entire body back and forth and go, “IEEE!”

Kurenai looked almost incredulously at the girl.  She had pierced her meaning easily, and thanked the gods she was never /that/ bad.  The girl needed a life and fast, and it was probably her duty now to provide it for her.

Shikamaru was lazily looking at the girl, trying to figure out the girl’s words.  He considered himself reasonably intelligent, if not more so, but try as he might, ‘girl-speak’ was still beyond him.  Lucky for him, there was another girl there.  Naruta happily said, “Hey, Shika, here’s a girl-to-boy translation: ‘I /love/ Uchiha Sasuke, my hobbies are stalking him, obsessing about him, counting the ways he’s /so cool/ and generally looking like a complete idiot to him.  My dreams are to screw him senseless, get knocked up by him, and have lots and lots of his babies!  In short, I’m a complete psycho Uchiha Sasuke fangirl.’”

Once again all was quiet.  Kurenai looked shocked at the blonde girl - that she had actually said it was mind boggling, but secretly she was struggling with keeping her laughter in - because it was frighteningly accurate.  Shikamaru was processing the new information with a blank look, his eyes focused on Sakura.  Sakura was frozen in horror.  Naruta could /not/ have just done that!  There was no way!  There was a little something called gender loyalty!  Even if you hate a girl, you did /not/ just betray all of womankind.  Just as anger breached the horror and shock she was feeling and was ready to reach for the neck of the sweetly smiling Naruta, a single word pierced the silence.

“Scary,” Shikamaru muttered.  Now the second girl was as scary as his teacher.  It would be just the way his luck was going if the third turned out to be every bit as scary as the first two girls.  Why, oh why, did have to be stuck with three girls; especially since he was starting to realize speaking out loud hadn’t been in his best of interests.

“Isn’t it?” Naruta agreed with the continued innocent smile.

“I’LL KILL YOU BOTH!” Sakura screamed enraged.

“YOU PAY THE REPAIR AND CLEAN UP BILLS!” came from the kitchen, freezing the pink-haired in her rising motion.  Kurenai sighed and pushed the embarrassed, and still angry as hell girl back down.  The other jounin had been right after all.

“Your turn, Shikamaru,” Kurenai said, wanting someone to distract Sakura from her anger.

The boy gave a characteristic sigh, letting his head droop in defeat for a moment, then looked back up, and said, “My name is Nara Shikamaru.  I like things that are not troublesome.  I dislike things that are troublesome.  And my dream is not troublesome.”

Two pairs of disbelieving eyes looked at Shikamaru, but he became aware of the third set of dangerous eyes.  Those were Kurenai’s.  Her red irises seemed to glow ominously for a moment as she leant over.  She smiled sweetly, and spoke even more sweetly, “Ah, Shikamaru.  More specific, or I will have to make training, and life in general, extra extra troublesome for you.  And if that doesn’t work, there’s always telling your mother you’re not willing to be a good team mate.  Neh, what do you say?”

Shikamaru shivered lightly, feeling fear and horror flow down his spine. *S-scary,* he thought, swallowing fearfully. *She’s even worse than my mother.*  Kurenai pulled back and waited expectantly.   Shikamaru forced his nerves under control, and said, “I am Nara Shikamaru.  I like puzzles, Shogi, and looking at the clouds float by.  I dislike chores.  And my dream is to . . .”  He paused for a moment, wondering how the all girl team would take his words - it would undoubtedly be troublesome.  Not half as troublesome as what Kurenai-sensei would do, so he finished, “. . . marry a woman that is neither ugly nor beautiful, have a son and a daughter, retire when my daughter has married and my son has graduated the ninja academy, then spend my days reading and playing shogi until I die before my wife and children do.”

He’d been right; their reaction - looking at him silently as if disbelieving, or being in shock - was troublesome.

“That’s your dream?” Kurenai asked a little dubiously.

“Yes,” Shikamaru answered and sighed.  “Troublesome.”

“Really?” Sakura asked, for once opening her mouth before Naruta did.  Shikamaru just sighed.

“But that’s, that’s . . .!” Naruta said, struggling for the right word.  “. . . that’s ridiculous.”

“Apologize, Naruta,” Kurenai’s reaction was instant, a tone that brokered no disagreement.  Shikamaru and Sakura had heard it from their parents often enough to know it intimately, this was Naruta’s first encounter, but it was no less effective.  “His dream may be unusual, but that does not mean you get to insult him, especially not since he’s your team mate.”

“A-ah, sorry, Shikamaru-san,” Naruta said her gaze down in shame, her tone soft.

Shikamaru just sighed, but did look surprised at his teacher.  He had expected her to side with the blonde girl, and probably the other one’s opinion as well.  Before they could discuss his dream further though, Kosin Michi returned from the kitchen again with the first two of their orders and placed them of their respective owners with a polite bow.  The last two plates followed afer a trip back and forth, and then she told them, “Enjoy your meal.”

Before they dug into their food, they placed their hands flat together in front of their chests, and said, “Thank you for this sacrifice.”⁴

*****

The four of them stood on training field seven.  Kurenai took them all in critically for a moment.  From left to right stood Sakura, Naruta and then Shikamaru.  “All right, I want you all to tell each other and me, what jutsus you know beyond what they taught at the academy, and any specialities you may have, as well as weaknesses.  It is important that we know each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  The better we know each other, the better our team work will be.  Again, I’ll go first,” Kurenai said, with a critical appraisal of her charges.  Her right hand in her side, she said, “I am a jounin, as such I have better than moderate skills in both taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu.  I am, however, a genjutsu specialist.  There very few things that I do not know about genjutsu, and very few things that I cannot do.  The area I am least proficient in, is taijutsu.  I suppose you could call it weakness, in comparison to other jounin at least.  Shikamaru, you start.”

“The academy basics, I’m reasonably proficient at taijutsu, and I know my clan’s basic jutsu Kagemane,” Shikamaru answered calmly.  Kurenai nodded, she had expected no less from a Nara.

“What does that do?” Naruta asked interested, taking her teacher’s talk about knowing each other’s jutsu to heart.

Shikamaru acknowledged the question with a nod, and answered, “Means I can stretch my shadow and capture people with it, once captured, their body imitates my motions.”

“That sounds useful, can you teach me?” Naruta asked brightly.

“No,” Kurenai answered calmly, as Shikamaru and Sakura looked at Naruta incredulously.  “Even if he were allowed to teach the clan techniques to those outside of the clan, Naruta, you do not have the Nara bloodline limit, and without it, you can’t do it.”

“Bloodline Limit?” Naruta asked confused.

Sakura sighed, and explained, “Dumb blondie.  A bloodline limit is a genetic trait that is passed on from generation to generation.”  Naruta narrowed her eyes at the insult from the pink-haired girl.

Kurenai nodded, and said, “Sometimes it is an easy to notice physical trait, like the Uchiha’s Sharingan, the Hyuuga’s Byakugan, or the Inuzuka’s highly sensitive nose and protruding canines.  Often though, it is not so obvious.  Sometimes it means one can mix two or more elemental chakra types together to form a new elemental chakra.  This is true for the Nara; without the special chakra only they can mold, you can’t manipulate shadows.”

“Oh,” Naruta replied, filing away the information.

“It’s your turn, Naruta,” Kurenai-sensei said and nodded at her.

Naruta nodded with a grin, and said, “I can do the academy basics . . .”  She floundered off as she realized there was one exception, and decided to be honest, “except the Bunshin . . .”

Interrupting Naruta’s speech, both Sakura and Shikamaru pronounced their disbelief and annoyance, “What?”  “Huh?”  After all, if you can’t do the academy basics you shouldn’t have graduated, especially if the jutsu Naruta said she couldn’t do was the graduation exam.

Undeterred, apart from a short pause, Naruta continued, “I can do the Kage Bunshin, the Konohatou and Konohakunai, the Fuuton: Konohatou and Konohakunai Dammaku no Jutsu, the Fuuton: Konohatou and Konohakunai Ame no Jutsu, and the Fuuton: Konohatou and Konohakunai Senpuu no Jutsu.  I’m well above average for my age in Goken taijutsu.”

“You lie!” Sakura exclaimed both in anger and desperation.  If Naruta could really do what she said she could do, she was better than she herself was, and that just couldn’t be true. “The Kage Bunshin is a jounin technique, and I don’t even know what the Senpuu is.  This is highly advanced stuff, you can’t not do the Bunshin yet do the others.”

“I can,” Naruta told Sakura smugly.

“How did you even graduate?” Shikamaru asked her, his mind working over time to assimilate the information.  He was inclined to think Sakura was right.

Naruta turned over to Shikamaru, and said, “Did the Kage Bunshin, but didn’t release it, then fake performed the seals for the Bunshin, and released the Kage Bunshin.”

“You’re lying through your teeth!  I’ve got great chakra control and /I/ can’t do that!” Sakura accused Naruta.

“Well,” Kurenai said, knowing Naruta told the truth, “what Naruta did was jutsu control, not chakra control.  They are related, but I know you don’t need that high chakra control in order to do the trick Naruta did.”

“I don’t believe it!” Sakura exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Naruta.

Naruta shrugged, and made the seals, “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!”  A whole slew of smoke puffs and even more clones than that appeared in a quarter circle to the right of the group of ninja.  There had to be at least forty.  Sakura and Shikamaru’s jaws dropped.

Even Kurenai was amazed.  She had helped Naruta with reading and arithmetic and thus had never seen Naruta perform the technique, and even if she had heard from Gai and Naruta how many clones the blonde could make, seeing it with her own eyes was still amazing.

One section of the clones started performing some seals, whispering them, “Hare, monkey, ox, rat, horse, dragon.”  And they exclaimed, “Fuuton: Konohatou Dammaku no Jutsu.”  Instantly a wind in the forest beyond picked up, and leaves were pulled along it from the ground, and some from the trees itself.  The wind carried the leaf knives to the other section of clones, and sliced into them.  With an impressive display of puffs of smoke, accompanied by pops and the Naruta clones screaming in pain, all but one of them disappeared from existence.

The remaining lucky clone picked herself up, and looking angrily at other half of the clones, performed seals themselves, “Hare, monkey, ox, horse, horse, dragon.”  Then they called, “Fuuton: Konohakunai Ame no Jutsu!”  Once more the wind picked up, but this time leaves that were curling up into pointy-ended cones whirled up high, where they seemed to float for a moment, and then they dove down sharply along with the wind, impaling the other half of the clones by the leaf kunai from above.  Like the first half, the second batch of Naruta clones died an ignominious death.  At the end of the jutsu, the one Naruta clone remained, which then with a satisfied look to her creator, dispelled in another puff of smoke.

“Well, Sakura-kun,” Naruta started overly sweet, and immensely smug, her hands sassily on her hips, “believe me now?”

Sakura whipped her head angrily at the demon-container.  The pigtailed bitch had just talked to her with a male suffix.  Naruta was calling her a boy, a square ugly girl; it was the ultimate of insults!  “That’s it, blondie!  I’ll kick your ass!”

“And how are you going to do that, Sakura?” Kurenai inserted sharply and with some speed, before Sakura could make good on her threat.  Kurenai secretly smiled inside.  If she could somehow keep those two from killing each other, and could get Shikamaru to get in the spirit of things, she might have a golden team here.  “It’s your turn, Sakura,” she added sharply again.

That brought Sakura up short.  Having the ability to make so many clones and launch so many attacks, she indeed would probably get her ass kicked.  It was horrendous to realize, that ‘Dead Last’ had somehow steamed ahead to become most likely number one on her team.   Sakura hated it; she always felt proud of being one of the top rookies, very possibly /the/ top female rookie, but that had changed just now.  “Ah, uh . . .” Sakura muttered in answer, a little embarrassed at first, but then realized she couldn’t not say anything.  She had to get something in.  “My chakra control is very good, so I may not know any jutsu other than what was taught at the academy, I can do all that very well though.  I consider myself pretty tough taijutsu wise, not as strong as boys though . . .”

“How about skill?” Kurenai asked curiously.

“Uh . . . pretty good, I think,” Sakura muttered in answer, only getting more embarrassed.

Kurenai smiled an unpleasant smile that had the three genin wonder uncomfortably.   “Well, then, you’ll get a chance to kick Naruta’s ass as you said,” Kurenai said, as if she was ready to cackle evilly.  “Time for some taijutsu sparring, let me see where you stand relatively speaking.  You and Naruta first, Sakura.”

Kurenai and Shikamaru moved a little out of the way as Sakura and Naruta squared off.   Naruta grinned - she could touch Uchiha Sasuke in a fight; Sakura wouldn’t stand a chance.   The pink-haired kunoichi for her part looked determined to show she could at least best Naruta in a fight.  Naruta surged forward and launched a bone-jarring punch at Sakura’s face - literally.  The punch landed on Sakura’s lower, right, blocking arm, which felt like it was a bell that had been rung.  The force of it surprised Sakura and she completely missed the punch to her stomach, making her double over and stagger back as it hit.  She worked to get her bearing and balance back, and hated the fact that Naruta allowed her to do that.  Apparently the pig-tailed girl in her orange and blue skirt and top didn’t think of her as enough of a threat to capitalize on her momentary weakness.

Sakura gritted her teeth, and righted herself.  She took two quick steps forward and launched her own punch at Naruta’s face, which the blonde avoided with a quick movement.   She blocked Naruta’s return punch with a raised knee.  Naruta twisted on her left foot instantly and executed a perfect reverse roundhouse kick, catching Sakura on her check and sending her staggering off to her left, before dropping to her hands and knees.  Sakura was surprised; Naruta was fast, really fast, and strong to.  Refusing to give up so easily, she sprang back to feet, but instantly forced on her defensive as Naruta pressed her advantage.  The first punch she managed to push a side, the second she blocked - her arm, the other one this time, once again ringing with the impact.  Naruta blocked the follow up punch, and ducked low, before landing a palm strike in Sakura’s stomach.  A moment later a foot followed and Sakura was launched off of her feet, then she slammed butt-first to the ground.

“All right, that’s enough,” Kurenai said seemingly casually, and it hurt Sakura.  Only a few attacks and it was apparently enough to make Kurenai end the match and give Sakura a rest - as if she was weak.  “Shikamaru and Naruta, this time,” their sensei gestured for Shikamaru to step foot on their makeshift ring.  Kurenai then helped up Sakura to get her out of the way.

Shikamaru sighed heavily and stepped forward across from Naruta, his hands remaining in his pockets.  He looked bored at the blonde girl across from him in a ready stance, which surprised all three girls.  When he didn’t chance his stance, Naruta said with a frown, “You might want to get ready.”

“I am ready,” Shikamaru told calmly.

“Okay, then, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Naruta said lightly annoyed, and instantly launched a high kick at Shikamaru’s face.  Not surprisingly, at least not to Kurenai, Shikamaru’s fighting style was every bit as lazy as he was.  He simply side-stepped and bent his head back, avoiding the foot that might have taken his head of otherwise.  Naruta was not to be deterred, and instantly crouched down and twisted around in a leg sweep.  Shikamaru jumped, but Naruta was already up and coming at him.  Two rapid punches to his face forced to boy to finally raise his hands and block them.  Surprisingly, Shikamaru suddenly ducked down and with an uncharacteristic explosive move, slammed his right shoulder and the right side of his head in Naruta’s stomach.

Naruta staggered back, groaning a little and forced air back into her lungs.  This is not the way people were supposed to fight - how the hell could she anticipate someone slamming his whole body into her stomach?  It was not done, and - she had to admit - perfect for the lazy boy that was her team mate; don’t do much, but when you do decide to do something make sure you hit and immediately do a lot of damage so you don’t have to do much more.  Too bad for Shikamaru she was tougher than she looked and wasn’t going down so easily.

  With a quick motion she steadied herself and shifted back to the offensive.  Shikamaru was genuinely a little surprised, not may remained standing after an impact like that, let alone switched back to the offensive so quickly, and this was a girl too.  Naruta’s punch turned out to be a faint, a method to take a hold of and twist aside his blocking arm - her right palm slammed into his chest, making him groan and stagger back.  As he noticed his arm hadn’t been let go, he muttered a, “Troublesome.”  He was right as a moment later he was twisted over her shoulder, and slammed into the ground.  Her other arm coming down in a fist that hit his chin.  He had already braced himself for the impact though, and grabbed, then held onto her arm.  Forcing himself through the pain of the punch, he pushed his legs back up, and wrapped them around her shoulder.  He dragged her down smoothly, and a moment later Naruta was on the ground, her right arm trapped by legs and arms.  Her arm was being stretched and twisted, and it hurt . . . a lot.  She grimaced - she was starting to understand this lazy boy was genuinely lazy, and it would be just like him to defeat his opponents by lying on his ass.  She grunted as she tried to extract her arm, but couldn’t.  Then tried to dislodge the legs with her free arm, also to no avail.

“You are not strong enough, Naruta.  This is game over, you should give up,” Shikamaru remarked casually, still feeling the stinging where Naruta had hit him, and no mood to have to continue this fight.

Naruta grunted once, and said, “Heh, that’s what you think.”  He, and the two onlookers to the match, watched amazed as Naruta folded her left arm double and undid the stylish band around her upper arm.  It fell down into the grass, and it was obvious it had some weight to it.   The shin protectors followed with the same weight to them.

“Troublesome,” Shikamaru muttered in appreciation and watched Naruta’s left hand wiggled and successfully undid the upper and wrist bands around her still captured arm. Shikamaru noticed the removal of the weight instantly - the arm was obviously less well secured now that she didn’t have to carry all that weight around.

Naruta, while dramatically removing the weights, apart from the one she couldn’t get to yet, had been thinking of ways to get out of her predicament.  Gai had not yet gotten to teach her, and she suspected Lee, how to fight someone preferring to grapple - fact was, even though this move itself wasn’t all that crippling, if Shikamaru had team mates to back him up she’d be dead by now, and she was acutely aware of that.  Suddenly she pushed herself up with her legs, and went into a rapid handstand.  With a twist she wrenched her arm free - which shot an additional spasm of pain down her abused arm.  She let herself drop down with her good arm, and twisted her body horizontal with the ground, to slam her feet into Shikamaru’s torso.  The slippery lazy boy, though, was already rolling away.

Getting back to her feet, Naruta quickly removed the final wrist band, and then shook and tossed her previously locked-in arm and hand to get circulation going again.  The combatants eyed each other warily - both had surprised each other and were reappraising the competition.

It gave Sakura the chance to reflect on a shocking truth - Naruta had beaten her and done so easily while being handicapped with weights!  Dead last!  She felt terribly embarrassed, ashamed even, and tried to look away, but realized that would be stupid.  She needed to learn as much as she could from this fight, for the reasons that her sensei had given them, and because she needed to be able to do the same things.

Naruta quickly reformulated her game plan.  Fighting him close quarters was out of the question; in close he was better than she was.  Which means rapid strikes and backing off again had to be the way to do it - or go so fast she steamed past him, but she didn’t trust herself on that one.  For a moment she saw Shikamaru’s brow furrow in what she almost thought was the sentiment, ‘Troublesome.’  She’d probably be right, it’s been the word Shikamaru had used the most.

“Konoha Senpuu!” Naruta exclaimed, the sudden exclaim and even more sudden movement making Shikamaru jerk for just a moment.  It meant he didn’t have time to duck, instead he had to raise his hands in a block.  Her foot slammed into his arms hard and she bounced back.  She smiled lightly Shikamaru, who now definitely carried a ‘troublesome’ scowl.  This time it was right too, his arm throbbed where Naruta’s foot had collided.  Not many more of those, and block or not it was going to cause damage.  Sadly, Naruto knew, he wouldn’t fall for that again.

Naruta surged forward and delivered a punch that Shikamaru deflected.  The right that followed after was blocked, and before Shikamaru could do anything she quickly danced backwards and to her right, starting a circle around the boy.  She zipped forward again, this time landing a punch in his gut that got through his guard - she didn’t take the chance it was a trap, and as he groaned and recovered, she was already out of his way again.

She quickly moved off to her left, and again moved in for an attack - a high kick, that Shikamaru ducked under.  She twisted forward and to her right, throwing a punch at his torso, which Shikamaru deflected with some difficulty.  She followed up with a rapid kick to his upper leg, and then backed off.  The kick hit, and Shikamaru was forced to stumble back for a moment.  He noticed Naruta circling him left and right again, assessing that he was right about this being troublesome.  Getting her in another hold was going to be difficult.  There really was no other way about it . . .

“I quit,” Shikamaru said.

“What!?” Naruta said surprised, her battle stance faltering and looking surprised at Shikamaru.  If Shikamaru wasn’t the slacker he was, he would have taken advantage of Naruta’s surprise by running up and putting her in a fatal hold - he simply stood there bored, putting his hands back in his pockets.

“I cannot defeat you, you are too fast for me; you will simply chip  me down until I am defeated, or I get lucky and put you in a finishing hold.  We have both shown what we can do, there is no reason to continue this,” Shikamaru said as much for his sensei as for Naruta.

“Hmm,” Kurenai prompted, thinking about the Nara’s words and then nodded.  “Fine, for now, Shikamaru, but we’re going to have to see the other holds you know as well, even if it isn’t in a fight.  Please demonstrate them on Naruta gently.”  Shikamaru shrugged, and Naruta grunted annoyed.  Over the next ten minutes Shikamaru demonstrated a variety of his holds and how he could best implement them during a fight.

When the demonstration was over, Kurenai gathered her students in front of her, and appraised them critically for a moment, before saying, “Well, you all have potential.  Sakura, you’ll have to work hard to catch up to Shikamaru and Naruta though.”  Sakura let her had hang a bit - it was true, she was obviously behind the others.  “Shikamaru, you need to focus at first at getting stronger and faster, and Naruta should focus most on her chakra control.  It’s rather abysmal.”

“I know, already doing that,” Naruta said excitedly.

“Yes, I think I can mold you three in an amazing team, that is if you pass the test tomorrow,” Kurenai said soberly.

“Test!?  What test!?” Naruta exclaimed in shock.

Sakura at the same time exclaimed, “What do you mean, test!?”

Shikamaru simply muttered, unnoticed because of the other loud exclaims, “Troublesome.”

“Oh, did I forget to tell you that?” Kurenai said far too sweetly.  She looked up, overacting thinking deeply.  “I think I have.”  She turned her head back to her team, and said with an evil glint, “You have to undergo one last test.  Fail, and you go back to the academy, or if you choose, quit being a ninja.  Of course, should you make it to a second team, and fail the test a second time, you can no longer be a ninja.”

“That’s not fair!” Naruta exclaimed angrily.  “Nobody said anything of another test!  I already graduated the academy.”

‘Hell, yeah!’ Inner Sakura screamed in agreement inside the pinkette’s head.

“I never said anything about being fair, Naruta,” Kurenai smiled sweetly at the pig-tailed blonde.

Naruta promptly crossed her arms across her chest, and with narrowed eyes told her sensei darkly, “Troublesome.”

“As I’ve been saying,” Shikamaru said with minimal agreement and some satisfaction.

Kurenai simply shrugged, and said, “Tomorrow morning at nine, be here.  I shall administer the test.  Now go home.”

*****

Shikamaru steadily entered into his parents house, hands in his pockets.  He found his parents in the kitchen; his mother humming a tune while finishing dinner preparations, and his father sitting at the table waiting, lazily reading a paper.

“Son,” his father, Shikaku, who looked remarkably like an older version of Shikamaru himself, greeted.  Like his son, he wouldn’t say anymore than needed.

“Father,” Shikamaru greeted back equally minimally.  “Mother,” he added.

Yoshino, his mother, had brown hair, worn flat against the head, apart from tail up on the back of her head and the lock of hair over her forehead.  She turned around, and greeted enthusiastically, “Shikamaru, welcome back, so how was your first day with your team?  You have a good one?”

Shikamaru let out a slightly deeper breath than normal - but not quite a sigh.  He sat down, and said with a frown, “My team mates are all girls, even my sensei.”

Shikaku merely looked up at his son, while her mother exclaimed with a smile, “Really!?”

As Shikamaru started talking, his mother turned back to the cooking pots, but never forgot to keep an eye and ear on her son’s tale.  “Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruta and our sensei is Yuuhi Kurenai,” Shikamaru started, making his father look up from his paper sharply at Naruta’s name.  Shikamaru noticed of course, but said nothing.  “Sensei is scary, and the Haruno girl is worse.  I find this arrangement troublesome.”

“Very troublesome,” his father agreed.

“Troublesome!?  How can you say that!?” his mother exclaimed in disbelief.  “Boys and girls on a team often end up together, and you have no male rivals!  You should be ecstatic.   These are odds nearly impossible to screw up!  So you better not, Shikamaru!  I expect many grandchildren, and soon!”

Shikamaru looked stricken at his mother, who waved the spatula threatening in his direction - an obvious warning about ‘screwing up’.  He knew his mother was scary, but she had just gotten scarier - and it wasn’t the spatula.  “Father,” Shikamaru prompted softly, “Would you remind me again why you married her?”

Shikaku took in his wife, who was mumbling to herself as she continued with her cooking, and turned to his son.  “She had certain desirable attributes that seemed more troublesome to go without, than to put up with her less desirable attributes,” he explained carefully - there had been a time when he had gone into more detail after asking about them by his son, but that was too troublesome right now.

“I heard that, Shikaku!” Yoshino growled, turning around and waving the spatula threateningly again, this time at Shikamaru’s father.  Shikaku kept a gulp under control - it would be too troublesome and counter productive.  Whenever his wife bothered with speaking his name in its entirety instead of her usual shorthand, things were really bad.  “You can spend the next week on the couch!”  She turned back to the food.

Shikaku let out an annoyed sigh - he really should have gotten up and talked about this in private.  But he thought the risk over his wife overhearing would be minimal and that meant he didn’t need to get up.  “I suppose now, you wish you hadn’t?” Shikamaru prompted, softly again, after making sure her mother had turned away from them to the dinner again.

“You may not understand this until you have found your woman, son, but no,” Shikaku answered his son, who frowned troubled.

The matriarch of the house turned around, and appraised her husband, obviously having overheard again.  Shikamaru had to make sure he had to remember his mother’s sensitive hearing from now on.  “Alright,” she said, deflated, “You can remain in bed.”

Shikamaru’s mother didn’t stay down for long, though, as she thought out loud to herself, “With no male rivals on the team, maybe even a harem, maybe even Kurenai herself . . .” Yoshino nodded, knowing the woman of course, “She’s a very good catch and unattached for so long . . . so many grandchildren . . .”

The male Nara’s brows furrowed, and the younger leaned over to his father, and asked, “Why is it, that women find being in a harem distasteful and disrespectful, until it’s their sons that can have the harem?”

Shikaku looked at his son for a moment, and made sure to duck behind his newspaper, saying very softly, “You really think I’d try to figure out something that troublesome?”

“I suppose not,” Shikamaru nodded in agreement, hoping dinner would be ready soon, so he could eat it and leave his scary mother.

*****

Later that night

Shikaku sat on his bed thoughtfully, his wife on the opposite end getting ready to go to sleep as well.  “Maybe I should see about getting Shikamaru on a team without the Uzumaki brat,” he suggested softly.  Immediately followed by a loud, “Ow!” as something hard hit the back of his head.  He was too busy rubbing his aching head, to check what it was.  He had a pretty good idea anyway.

“Nara Shikaku!” his wife hissed angrily, “Don’t you dare!”

“But, she’s . . .” Shikaku started.

“I don’t care!” Yoshino told him angrily, “The Hokage himself has endorsed the girl, so she’s not going to turn into a raving monster.  Plus she’s so cute, she’ll grow up to be an absolute knock out.  Imagine how good our grand kids will look!”

Shikaku figured he better shut up.  Never get in between a woman and her perfect family, he knew.

*****

Haruno household

“So how is your team?”

Sakura looked up a little surprised at her mother’s voice.  She hadn’t even closed the door, the crank of which she was still holding.  Her mother had equally pink hair as her own and was looking over her shoulder as she was dusting the small hallway.  Before she could answer, her mother frowned, and asked, “What’s wrong?  You don’t like your team?”

“That’s not it . . . it’s just that . . .” Sakura blurted out, and hesitated.  She used her hesitation to take the time and close the door behind her.  She took a deep breath, and told her mother dejectedly, “I’m the least capable in my team, mom.”  She hated to admit it, really hated to.  If both her team mates had been boys, she probably didn’t mind so much being behind, but one of them was a girl, and not just any girl: Dead Last Uzumaki Naruta.  What did it say about her, if Dead Last was better than her?

“Is that all?” her mother asked with a smile.

“Mom!” Sakura wined, with same expression as every other teenager that ever thought, ‘Parents, they just don’t get it.’

“Listen, Sakura,” her mother said sternly, her hands in her side, “you may be least capable now, but that only means you have more goals to cling to and pull yourself up with.   You will simply train and get better, surpass your team mates.  And if that’s not possible, make sure that ‘least capable of your team’ means ‘still better than everybody else’, hm?”

Sakura looked with open mouth at her mother, and then asked, “What happened to you?” Then more suspiciously, “Are you somebody transformed in my mother?”

“Haruno Sakura!” her mother snapped, her left arm holding the dust towel in her side, “I will not have you say such ridiculous things in this house.”

Sakura cringed - it was definitely still her mother.  She explained pitifully, “I’ve never heard you be nice about this.”

“I still don’t like you being a ninja,” her mother said sternly, and then softened up, “but it’s obvious I can’t stop you now, with you being an adult.  However, if you are going to be a ninja, then you better well be the best ninja that you can be.  You should excel, and the better a ninja you are, the bigger the chance you come home alive.”

Sakura was about to roll her eyes, she’d heard this argument from both her mother and her father - but he had caved a long time ago and was defending her choice since then - but realized it was again in a complimentary context.  “Okay, well . . . uhm . . . I have some reading to do, in my room,” she said, and then was off.  She could deal with Dead Last, but a not criticizing mom was too weird.

*****

Lake dock

“Hey, Sasuke, how’s it hanging?” Naruta greeted with a smile as she reached the end of the docks where she found her friend sitting, looking over the small lake.  She was holding a few books close to her chest and placed them on the dock before sitting down next to Sasuke. She’d had some advice from Gai-sensei a while ago and she wouldn’t waste it even for a moment.  The advice had been really simple; Konoha had a library.  There was special section only for ninja, and a separate section in there for chuunin and up.  Another separate, much more guarded, building housing books only for jounin - and of course one very special scroll that she had found out about without Gai’s help.  In these ninja-only library, there were books on jutsu, chakra, chakra control, different chakra’s and the like, from simple to advanced - and now that she had a forehead protector as Gai had instructed her, she was allowed entrance.   There was, of course, no way anyone could rewrite public books just to screw her over, so it was information she could trust - not to mention Gai-sensei couldn’t teach her everything.   There was only so much time in a day, after all.  So, her more than others, had to be self-taught, and she should use the library at the earliest opportunity.

Sasuke shivered, looked at the ever-smiling Naruta, and told her, “That sounds wrong coming from a girl.”

“Huh, why?” Naruta asked him confused.

The number one rookie scrutinized her for a moment, trying to figure out whether she was pulling his chain - again - or if she genuinely didn’t know.  He came to the conclusion she really didn’t know.  “Because, well . . . it’s about, you know . . . the crotch area,” Sasuke stammered out a little embarrassed.

Naruta’s face was crunched in a frown for a moment, and then enlightenment dawned on her.  “Oh!” she exclaimed, then smirked, “So /that’s/ what it’s about!  I never could figure out what ‘it’ was supposed to be and what way it ‘hung’ had to do with having a good day.”   Naruta grinned, thinking it over - kinda liking the way boys thought that they’d ask that in a greeting.  You never heard a girl asking how ‘they’ were hanging.  “So, how /is/ it hanging?”

Sasuke gave a suffering grumble.

“You should really try some new underwear then, Sasuke,” Naruta told him sagely.

“Naruta!” Sasuke growled at her.  “Make any references to my ‘it’ again, and you’ll get the biggest asskicking you’ve ever had, you got that?”

“Okay, okay,” Naruta backed off a little, and then asked, “Does your team have to go through some test as well, to really become ninja?”

“Yes.  That stupid, lazy bastard that is our jounin-sensei even forbade us to eat anything until tomorrow,” Sasuke answered with a grumble.  He still couldn’t imagine how the silver-haired freak was allowed to teach anyone.

“Huh, Kurenai-sensei didn’t tell us that, I guess we don’t get the exact same test,” Naruta pondered that bit of information.

“So how’s the pink fan-girl working out so far?” Sasuke asked, hiding a smirk behind his high collar.

Naruta looked at him, her face darkening a little, and then said, “She’s worse than I thought.  If you’d heard her introduction to the team, you’d have slit your throat in horror, I imagine. ‘I like . . . hm . . . My hobbies are . . . ooh . . . and my dreams are . . . IEE!’  She sounded like a fucking psycho.”

Sasuke nodded, not surprised, having gotten used to Naruta’s potty mouth whenever she got frustrated.  This girl was nothing like the prim and proper girls that populated the rest of Konoha - it was one reason why he tolerated her presence.

“And how’s the blonde version holding up?” Naruta asked him with an evil grin.

And there was the reason he often had to struggle with tolerating the blue-eyed girl.  She was far too good at annoying the hell out of him, reminding him of . . . certain unmentionable things.  “No better . . . well, seeing as I didn’t slit her throat, maybe just a little better,” Sasuke answered Naruta, pondering to himself lightly humorously.

Naruta laughed, and said, “Did Uchiha Sasuke just made a joke?  Did I set the great Uchiha Sasuke on the pranking path?”

“I did no such thing!” Sasuke denied quickly, “I was just reflecting on your statement.”

“Me thinks thou dost protest too much, Sasuke,” Naruta said and before he could protest she got up, and gathered her books.  “I still gotta eat, and do some reading, so good luck tomorrow, although I don’t think you’ll need any, right?”

“Hn,” Sasuke sneered, hating that he wasn’t given the opportunity to dispute Naruta’s claim.  “Keep it for yourself, you /will/ be needing it.”

“Maybe,” Naruta said, and was off.

*****

The next day

The three of them were facing their sensei on training ground seven.  Kurenai looked them over for a bit, and then said, “Good, you’re all on time.  Now then, I will explain the test.  In a moment, I will go stand on top of that small elevation in the terrain.”  Kurenai pointed behind her, where a small hill, some one and half meters high lay in a double half-moon pattern. “The first two of you who can dislodge me from it, become ninja.  The third fails and goes back to the academy.”

“What!?  But that’s not fair!” Naruta exclaimed instantly.

Shikamaru sighed.

Sakura looked stricken, especially remembering yesterday and how she didn’t have anything but the academy basics.  Inner Sakura screamed in agreement with Naruta, ‘Fuck yeah!’

Kurenai casually turned her head toward Naruta, smiled gently, and said, “If I said I was going to be fair, or give you the impression I was going to be, I humbly apologize.”  Kurenai jumped back, and landed on the top of the elevation, and said, “Oh, if you don’t succeed before noon, you lose and go back to the academy.  And if you don’t want to fail, intend to kill me, because nothing less will make you succeed.  Now begin.”

The three genin looked shocked for a moment, Naruta’s explosive personality overcoming it first.  “You’re going down!” she yelled, charging forward.  Sakura and Shikamaru watched perplexed.  Half-way to Kurenai, who watched passively.  Naruta made a middle-index cross seal, that had Kurenai actually raise her eyebrows.  That was no hand seal she had ever known existed.  “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” Naruta exclaimed and a moment later the small hill was surrounded by Naruta’s clones.

*Curiouser and curiouser, not to mention impressive; a single hand seal she made up to replace two, I wonder if she even realizes she did it,* Kurenai thought, while saying out loud, “Ever heard of stealth, Naruta?  This doesn’t exactly make for a way to catch me off guard.”

Sakura decided that she was going to hide, and wait for Kurenai-sense to drop her guard before attacking - she was going to need every advantage she could get.  Before she could take more than a step, Shikamaru’s surprisingly strong hand grabbed her shoulder, and as she looked at him, he said, “Trust me, this won’t take long.”

“You’re in a clearing, and I can’t make like a chameleon,” all the Narutas spoke as one, and charged, some jumping up to reach Kurenai at head-height, others dove for her feet, most going for the torso.  There was a sudden large puff of smoke, and the real Naruta was launched from it back toward Sakura and Shikamaru - as the smoke cleared all the clones were gone.  Naruta’s eyes were wide, never even having seen Kurenai move.

Sakura and Shikamaru watched the event as well, and like Naruta Sakura looked surprised.  Kurenai hadn’t even moved!  Shikamaru sighed, and muttered, “Genjutsu.  She might not even be on that hill.  Troublesome.”

At the same time Naruta had landed hard on the floor in between the two, and skidded back a bit further.  Then she smiled, and three voices, three of Naruta’s voices called out, “Fuuton: Konohakunai Dammaku no Jutsu.”  Three of her clones could be seen emerging from the tree line at the three remaining sides of Kurenai - the wind picked up, and from three sides leaf kunai hurtled at the jounin kunoichi . . . who then shimmered and the leaf kunai’s harmlessly passed through her.

“What the . . .!?” Naruta said in shock.

“Genjutsu,” Sakura nodded in agreement with Shikamaru, and went to perform the technique to release herself from it, muttering, “Kai.” She had her eyes closed and held up the rat seal, than opened her eyes again.  Nothing had changed - either she hadn’t been able to break it, or Kurenai-sensei had already dispelled the genjutsu on her own.  By the time she was done, three kunai from their sensei had ended the lives of the three clones.

“I’M NOT GIVING UP!” Naruta yelled, and made her own special seal, but before she could perform the jutsu, Shikamaru grabbed her shoulder like he’d done Sakura earlier.

“We can’t win on our own,” Shikamaru muttered soberly.  “She’s a jounin, and in the prime of her adulthood.  We’re just genin, fresh out of the academy.  Only teamwork will get us anywhere.”

Naruta looked perplexed at Shikamaru.  Sakura voiced what the blonde was thinking, “But only the first two of us get to be ninja.”

Shikamaru nodded, and told them, “You and Naruta.  I’ll go back to the academy.” Naruta and Sakura looked surprised at him.  “You’ve already failed the academy test a few times, right, Naruta?  You can’t afford to fail this one too.  And I think Sakura will benefit from a kunoichi teacher.  Me, I can wait.”  Not to mention, Shikamaru figured, he wouldn’t be stuck in an all girl team.  This might just be his lucky break . . . nah, the world was too troublesome for a ‘lucky break’.  His mind starting to piece the real purpose of this ‘test’ together, and he hoped he was wrong.  “I have a plan.”

After some whispering, Sakura darted off into the woods to their left, while Shikamaru did the same to their right.  Naruta remained standing where she was for a few moments, then summoned up another horde of clones, and they all lifted her right finger in the air, and yelled, “All right, now it begins!”  Naruta and her clones then pointed her finger at an amused Kurenai, and they chorused, “Kurenai-sensei take down, round two!”  The clones and Naruta produced a kunai, and charged.

Much like before, Naruta attacked Kurenai from all sides, but more carefully.  Also much like before, she never landed a hit.  Kurenai almost lazily avoided multiple strikes and sent Clones flying, and Naruta could swear there were times when her kunai or body parts moved through the Jounin.

Off in bushes on either side, a volley of kunai were launched by two concealed genin.  As planned, the pathways were free of clones.  At the same time, Shikamaru already performed his clan’s signature jutsu, and a shadow slowly creeped up and around the hill and up it, using the shadows from clones and the kunai to ever creep forward, winding its way that and there.   The clones being used as a shadow relay stopped moving, and so Kurenai was being attacked at only one side by Naruta - facing away from creeping shadow.  The last little distance, Shikamaru’s shadow suddenly thrust forward, and wrapped themselves around Kurenai’s feet.

As Kurenai looked at her unresponsive feet, she found them suddenly moving forward of their own accord, and she smirked.  Shikamaru stepped out of the bushes, and said, “Kagemane successful.”

That was Sakura’s cue, and she rushed from her hiding place, and then dove forward. Shikamaru jumped, as the plan indicated, freeing Kurenai-sensei from the jutsu, but not before making her jump into the air herself.  In the air, there was no way to remain standing.  Sakura slammed into Kurenai’s stomach, launching both kunoichi off of the hill.  “Got ya!” Sakura grinned with satisfaction.

Surprised she felt her teacher’s body, and with it her own, suddenly flip backward in the air, landing on her hands and flipping onward to land on her feet - no longer on the elevation. Sakura was stunned - Kurenai had back flipped with her attached, she was amazingly strong.   More importantly, the plan had succeeded - although it would no doubt no longer work, they’d have to come up with a new plan.

“Got ya!” Naruta exclaimed enthusiastically as her clones dispersed with audible pops and puffs of smoke.

Sakura let go and looked up, starting to smile at having passed the test, which faltered the moment she looked into a pair of angry eyes.  “*What makes you think you are allowed to work together, hm?*” Kurenai sensei all but growled.

Now that one threw Shikamaru for a loop.  He couldn’t be bothered to get worked up, despite the dangerous tone, and even the sense of . . . well, something that bordered on an intent to kill coming from Kurenai-sensei.  Of course, he couldn’t keep the foreboding feeling out of his stomach either.  And did her red eyes glow ominously again?  Obviously Sakura was more effected by it, she was practically shaking like a leaf.  “How else can we move a jounin?” he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, how else!  I had clone after clone, and didn’t even touch you!?” Naruta added her two cents worth.

Kurenai focused her terrifying gaze a moment on Naruta, and then focused it on Shikamaru.  “/Nara Shikamaru, you came up with this, didn’t you?/” Kurenai said, with a very dark and nasty voice.  It was almost like a god talked to you from on high - this time Shikamaru definitely did swallow his anxiety; he didn’t move his hands from his pockets though.  He nodded.

“You /fail/!” Kurenai exclaimed angrily, “For thinking you can outsmart me, you’re going back to the academy!”  Sakura remained frozen, and even Shikamaru was a little perturbed, even if it was what he’d wanted.

Naruta charged around the jounin, standing behind Sakura, and in front of Shikamaru.   What had happened to the nice woman that had helped her with her reading and math?  It’s almost like this wasn’t really Kurenai.  She suspected henge for a moment, and kept her eyes and ears out, just in case she was right.  While deciding that, she exclaimed, “You can’t do that, Kurenai-sensei!  He was just trying . . .”

“*I don’t care,*” Kurenai heavily interrupted, “And if you don’t quit questioning me, I’ll not only fail you /all/, I’ll make sure none of you will /ever/ be ninja.”

Sakura took an involuntary step back.  Shikamaru raised his eyebrows, wondering if Kurenai could really do that, apart from killing them or causing un-repairable injuries to their bodies which would probably land her in jail.  Naruta voiced his opinion rather loudly, “You can’t do that!  And if you try, I’ll tell grandpa Hokage how impossible your test is!  He’ll never let you get away with it!”

“Is that so?” Kurenai asked dangerously, letting her gaze go from Shikamaru, to Naruta, to Sakura.

Sakura swallowed, she was about ready to plead forgiveness under those eyes.  “Yeah!” Naruta yelled back.

The pink-haired girl hated that Naruta’s loud, annoying confidence was what gave her the courage to return, “I wouldn’t want an evil woman like you as a sensei anyway.”

Kurenai’s gaze remained on Sakura for a just a moment longer, and then suddenly the oppressive atmosphere disappeared, and Kurenai happily exclaimed, “Then you all PASS!”

Sakura and Naruta looked stunned, while Shikamaru muttered, “Figures.  I just knew it.”

“But, but, but . . .!” Naruta said loudly a moment later, while Sakura just looked at the suddenly nice again Kurenai-sensei.

“This was not about your skills, team, this was about your teamwork, about your ability and willingness to work together, and put your lives on the line for each other - but more than that, it’s to see if you will stand together against all adversity.  To trust each other above anyone else, including me, for next time you see me, it might not be me at all,” Kurenai told them with a large grin.  “I knew you could pass the test.  Let’s go have lunch, and then we go training.  From tomorrow on though, we’ll train in the mornings, in the afternoons we do missions.”

“YES!” Naruta exclaimed excitedly.

‘Hell, yeah!’ Inner-Sakura screamed while Sakura just smiled.

Shikamaru just kept his hands in his pockets.

*****

OMAKE:

Uchiha Sasuke walked down a side street, secure in the knowledge no fangirl had ever found him here.  That security went out the window the moment the terror inducing cries of “Sasuke-kun!” reached his ears.

There, round the corner, a horde of the hell beasts emerged, and behind him too, he was trapped.  Not surprisingly, Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino were up front.  “Sasuke-kun! Try my choice!  I’m sure it’ll be comfortable!”

Similar cries emerged from all of them.  It was then, frozen in terror, that Sasuke realized that all the fangirls were holding some type of garment in their hands, waving it at him excitedly.  They were holding up underwear.

Underwear!

And some of that ‘underwear’, looked decidedly /not/ comfortable.  Those seemed more suitable for male strippers to parade around in.

It was the Uchiha thus forgiven when he only managed, “Wh-what!?”

“The underwear challenge!” the fangirls yelled happily and one of them handed over a paper.

Somehow Sasuke managed to take the pampflet and read it.

‘I, Uchiha Sasuke, issue an underwear challenge.  Lately my chosen underwear has caused ‘it’ not to hang comfortable.  As a result I itch and am irritable.  To the fangirl who can bring me the most comfortable underwear, has earned herself a date, and with it the possibility for more.  Meet me at . . .’

Sasuke’s eyes managed to get this place and time in the corner of his eyes, but his eye twitching and mounting anger made him lower the paper to consciously read it.  Sasuke’s head snapped up and his right, looking up the roof.  Yes, there the only blond who could have done this was lying, giggling softly, which quickly degenerated in full on laughter.  The prank could be seen as cruel toward Sasuke, but it simply had been too good, and the anticipation for the look on Sasuke’s face too great to resist.

“*Naruta!!  I will kill you for this!*” the Uchiha prodigy screamed, jumping up onto the roof, the fangirls that were also ninja trained, in hot pursuit - the others remained behind disappointed.

Naruta was already jumping over tot he next roof, calling back, “Come on, Sasuke! Where’s that growing sense of humor of yours!?  You got to admit it was a magnificent prank!”

“So is this one!  Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!”

To Be Continued . . .