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Onward to Part 2

1/2 Blessing, 1/2 Curse

by 3D Master (3dmaster@telfort.nl)

Willow Rosenberg was bored, and depressed as she walked along the street in Sunnydale - at night.  Why she had decided to walk around, was completely forgotten.  She was trying to dredge up the reason, but couldn’t.  It was one monumentally stupid decision in hindsight. Her brain must have fried during the summer, that had to be it.  It was the most hellish two months she could remember all her life.  One of two of her best friends since childhood had been killed several months before, although she got a new, and her first real female friend - one Buffy Summers, Vampire Slayer - in return, it still pained her.  That very same female friend had left with her father for the summer only a few days after its start.  Then, another few days after that, her other best friend, /the/ best friend - one Alexander ‘Xander’ Lavelle Harris - had disappeared.  The next week or so had been an emotional roller coaster ride from boredom, concern, grief, to terror and back again.  Finding his mutilated body had woken her up out of nightmares, imagining a vampire version of her friend coming after her had kept her from falling asleep.  Then just over a week after his disappearance a letter came from him, in which he explained he was fine.  /That/ had been the happiest event in all her life, the relief had almost been overwhelming.  After her first happy had died down, she’d been afraid her parents were going to send her to a mental institution seeing the looks they gave her, but luckily they had just continued ignoring her.  The relief had died down quickly though, into boredom, desperately waiting for the next letter Xander sent . . . and why in hell didn’t Buffy send any letters?  One postcard was all she got from her.  Even practicing her hacking skills couldn’t keep her sated, she was desperately counting the days till school would start again and her friends returned, which incidentally would be tomorrow.  So now she was walking around, wishing tomorrow was now.

Yep, it was official, she mused.  Willow Rosenberg really had lost her mind.  There was a sudden growl, and the petite redhead twisted around in its direction, seeing the vamped out face of a vampire that considered her lunch, or breakfast . . . or perhaps diner.  Stop analyzing, start screaming!  Willow screamed, shrieked was more like it.  Terror went through her entire body, and she backed up . . . exactly two steps when she bumped against a low wall.  The vampire advanced, and Willow stopped her screaming long enough to pull out a wooden stake, and say,  “I know how to kill you.”

The vamp laughed.  He bared his razor sharp teeth and fangs and said, “And I know how to kill you.”

“EEP!” Willow screamed out and lunged.  The vamp easily deflected the lunge, and disarmed Willow.

“Oof!” the vampire called out, as a blonde whirlwind flew past a still terrified, but now surprised Willow, and knocked the vamp on his back.  A moment later a stake moved down, and with a ‘poof’ the vampire turned to dust.

Buffy Summers turned around, slightly out of breath - apparently she had to hurry to get to Willow on time, and said with exasperation, “Willow!  How can you be out and alone at night!?  You know what’s lurking in Sunnydale, and why didn’t you bring a cross!?”

A very relieved Willow slowly got her breathing back under control.  She shook her head and said, “Buffy, thank god!  We’re Jewish remember, mom and dad won’t let them in the house, and I couldn’t sneak one past them tonight.”

“Couldn’t you have gone out with Xander?” Buffy asked concerned.

Willow shook her head, and answered, “Xander isn’t here, he’s . . . I better show you the letters.”  Buffy frowned, as Willow smiled and pointed in the direction to her house.  Willow started to walk, and then paused.  So did Buffy and she looked confused at the hesitating Willow.  Suddenly the redhead flung herself at her blond, super hero friend, and hugged her tightly, “I’m so glad you’re back, Buffy.  I was bored to death, almost literally.”

“I’m glad I’m back too, Willow” Buffy said, smiling and fiercely returning the hug.

“Buffy,” Willow croaked out, “Slayer strength!”

Buffy let go embarrassedly, and said, “Sorry.”

*****

The two hurried along to Willow’s house, making Buffy concerned over what these ‘letters’ entailed.  On their way they came past one of Sunnydale’s many cemeteries, Buffy’s superior vision and hearing picked up something.  She halted Willow and turned to her right, looking into the cemetery.  There a raven-haired girl walked, wearing a tight mini-skirt, and a revealing top, a purse slung over her right shoulder.  Buffy, and even Willow, could clearly see three vampires sneaking up on her from behind tombstones.  Buffy could see three more in the far reaches of the cemetery in the bushes.  One vamp made his move, jumping high, intending to completely take the girl by surprise.  Buffy and Willow both were about to shout a warning, and Buffy - stake out already - was ready to go rescue the defenseless girl, except . . .

With a sudden rapid movement, the girl dropped her purse, pulling a stake from it with her left hand.  At the same time she twisted underneath the airborne vamp, and perfectly staked the vamp in his heart, making him look surprised and then dust right there.  The other vampires jumped out and attacked en masse.  The girl twisted around, and landed a perfect roundhouse kick on one of them, making him stagger back.  She switched the stake to her right arm, in time to stake an advancing vamp.  She crouched low, and kicked the legs out from under the still staggering vamp, smoothly ducking underneath another vamp’s onrushing punch.  She jumped up, smashing her elbow in the punching vamp’s chin, even as the other vamp dropped unceremoniously to the floor.  The vamp she elbowed staggered back.  Another vamp threw a charging punch with his right, and she grabbed his arm.  She twisted it, as she went underneath.  The vamp still going forward was yanked up off his feet, going horizontal a meter above the ground.  The girl let go, and continued her twisting motion and added a kick, slamming her foot in the still airborne vamp’s face, sending him flying in the direction he came from.  He landed and tumbled onward, even as the girl put her right foot down, jumped up with it, and made a twisting airborne kick with her left, catching a vamp across its face, and launching him off his feet.  The vamp flew a good two meters through the air before it landed painfully against a tombstone.  The vampire she had roundhouse-kicked earlier and then dropped on the floor had recovered, and attacked while the one she elbowed was busy recovering.  Again the girl crouched beneath the vampire’s clumsy attack and swung her right leg around in a vicious kick at knee height.  The kick hit, followed by an audible snap, and the vampire cried out in pain as it dropped to one knee, a piece of bone from the knee the girl kick sticking out.  Kneeling like that, with its chest put forward was an inviting target.  A moment later it was dusted by the girl, and then she jumped high into the air backward.  She twisted her body in a back flip.

The vampire that she had elbowed, stopped its advance and looked up stunned.  The girl grabbed his head, her entire body vertically above him, and she suddenly violently twisted around.  The vampire’s neck snapped audibly, and it sank to its knees, unable to make any nerve connection until months later when his spine and nerves would be healed, except it would never get that far.  The girl rapidly twisted onward and down.  She landed on her feet, and the vampire crumpled forward, into a quick upthrust stake and it turned to dust.  The vampire that had tumbled backward attacked her again.  She blocked his first punch, and second and moved into his defenses.  A moment later the stake did its work.

That left only the vampire the girl had launched off its feet, and she turned to it. “Slayer,” the vampire whispered in shock, and quickly fled.  The girl however didn’t let him go.  She ran after him, jumped, and gave him a flying kick in his back.  It gave a painful yell, going rigid with the pain and shock to its back, at which time the girl’s stake penetrated its heart, and it too turned to dust.  The girl then looked around, satisfied at a job well done, and made several quick back flips back.  She went smoothly into a sideways flip, picking up her purse, made two steps putting her stake back in, and then jumped onto a two-meter high tree branch, before disappearing into the foliage.

Buffy and Willow were stunned, and still looked at the last position they had seen the girl.  Buffy had her stake still futilely in hand, as the two turned their heads as one to the now empty graveyard.  “Whoa,” Willow was the first to speak.

“Yeah,” Buffy confirmed putting her stake back.

“She was even better than you are, Buffy,” Willow said in wonder, looking at her friend.

Buffy whipped her head around at Willow, and said, “She was /so/ not better than I am.”

“Yes, she was, didn’t you see the back flip on the vamp’s head, and then snap?” Willow asked excitedly.

Buffy folded her arms across her chest, and said, “I can do that too, if I want to.  She’s just showing off, it’ll get her killed.”

“She took on six vamps, Buffy, and they didn’t lay a finger on her,” Willow explained in wonderment, and excitement.

“She’s good, but she’s not better than I am,” Buffy sulked, and then suddenly realized something.  “We should report this to Giles . . . Giles is still in the library, right?”

“I don’t think he’s been in the library /all/ summer, but he should be back there now, tomorrow school stars and all,” Willow answered her only girl friend.

“Good, let’s go,” Buffy said.

*****

A short while later in the Sunnydale High library

“A girl, you say?  Taking out six vampires with ease?” Giles said with cultured British voice, filled with intrigue.  “Interesting.”

“She was better than Buffy,” Willow answered, nodding her head in excitement.

“She was /not/ better than me.  Granted, she comes close, but I’m the Slayer, she’s /not/ better than me,” Buffy said with a childish pout, her arms once again folded defensively across her chest.

“Hmm,” Giles said, cleaning his glasses thoughtfully, and in some frustration at the girls’ over emotional behavior.  “Now that I think about it, she /could/ be a Slayer, if you . . .” Giles looked carefully at Buffy, who looked somewhat pained at him.  “. . . clinically were not amongst the living long enough, it might have triggered the activation of another Slayer.” Giles put his glasses back on, and added, “But I would think the Council would have given me word of such a staggering development, unless . . .”

“Unless what?” Willow asked Giles her patience running dry.  Buffy stayed watching.

“Unless like you, Buffy, it was a Slayer the council hasn’t found,” Giles told the girls with revelation.  “That seems highly likely, because even if the Council didn’t send me word, and the Slayer and her watcher are here, I would have gotten word from her Watcher, so she probably doesn’t have one . . . if she /is/ a Slayer of course.  Well, I’ll give the Council a call.”

The two teenagers stayed standing and silent for a few moments, and then Buffy asked, shaking her head slowly from left to right, “Soo . . . we can go?  No research, or more patrolling, or anything?”

“You can leave if you want to,” Giles confirmed, and Buffy immediately bolted, pulling Willow along.  Giles sighed.

Outside of the library, the two walked to the exit of the school.  “Where were we going again?” Buffy asked frowning.

“Oh!  Xander’s letters,” Willow exclaimed with a big smile.  “Come on!”

*****

“Here,” Willow said, handing the letters over.  After taking the letters out of her desk she sat onto her bed, next to Buffy.  “They’re in order.”

Buffy looked at the stack of envelopes, concern growing when she noticed the writing on the stamp was some Asian iconography script.  Buffy quickly opened the top envelope and took out the letter, written by hand of all things.  She noticed the date, and the place: Jusenkyo, China.

“Jusenkyo?” Buffy said with a frown.

“It’s somewhat in the middle, I looked it up,” Willow answered, and then gestured for Buffy to continue reading.

Buffy felt somewhat relieved that Willow too had to look this up, for a moment there, she had a rather huge attack of feeling stupid.  She took Willow’s suggestion, and started reading.

Willow Rosenberg

6305 Westminster Place

94148, Sunnydale, CA

United States of America

Jusenkyo, China, June 10, 1997

Hey, Will,

It’s me, Xander.  I’m in China, can you believe it?  And I’m still alive, so don’t worry, not a vampire either.  Ok,

Wait, you probably want proof, huh?  Two words: yellow crayon!

Buffy looked up from the letter, and asked of Willow, “Yellow crayon?”

Willow smiled shyly, and blushed somewhat as she remembered herself from back then. “It’s how Xander and I met, I’ll tell the story some other time, read on,” Willow answered her.

Buffy smiled at her friend, and indeed looked down, to read more.

Ok, proof delivered, time for the lowdown.  So, there I am, just coming home one evening, when these Asian dudes in suits stand in the hallway.  They probably shot me with tranquilizers, cause the next moment I know, I collapse, and wake up in this cage in a cargo hold of a plane.  Some Asian dude strikes me with a whip, and puts some disgusting food in the cage after I flinch backwards.  Bastard.

Some time later one of the dudes in the suits comes up to me, and you know what he told me?  They’d seen my father’s opinion of me, and gave him an offer he couldn’t afford not to accept.  My nice, sweet, father that drunken, son of a bitch, assh  sold me into slavery! That’s right, they were planning on training me to be a sex slave for some filthy rich non-white woman or gay man!

And you know what’s really evil?  I’ll never enjoy watching Orion slave girls again!

Buffy looked up, “Orion slave girls?”

“Green alien scantily clad girls, who are bred and raised as sex slaves by the males of their species on Star Trek,” Willow explained to her friend.

“Oh,” Buffy said, thinking over the letter, shocked, and smiling despite it.  Albeit struck through, it still had been readable.  Drunken?  Opinion?  Sold into slavery!?  The picture of Xander’s home life changed radically; to a drunken, verbally - and physically? - abusive father, and a mother that couldn’t be much better if she had let Xander be sold.  And yet, despite all of it, he joked about it, like all of it didn’t mean a thing.  She could see her best male friend watching scantily clad green women on tv, and damn, she felt sorry for him he couldn’t enjoy it anymore, and much more so she reflected upon her own past months.  First there was guilt that she wasn’t there to protect him, and second . . . shame.  She had died before vacation, and Xander had used CPR to bring her back.  Then there was the souled vampire Angel, and she really didn’t want to think about him, or whatever it was that was between them.  In response, she had spent the last months depressed, pained, hurt, irritable and bitchy to her father. Xander’s experiences had to have been as bad, or worse than hers, and here he was joking about it, seemingly taking life head on, not letting it get him down for even a moment.  Her opinion of him changed drastically.  She read onward.

On the plus side: I’m hot enough to be a sex slave!!!  So there, take that!  Doing the Snoopy dance!!

Buffy couldn’t help it, she laughed out loud.  Willow joined her, but more subdued. Suddenly it came out.  How it happened, Buffy couldn’t grasp, but the tears jumped from her eyes.  Still laughing, she somehow managed to cry audibly at the very same time, for him, and for herself.  She felt Willow’s arm circle her waist and hug her close, the redhead’s head rested on her shoulder, and instinctively she rested her own on Willow’s.  After a few minutes of crying, in which Willow had joined in, Buffy slowly stopped.

“What was that about?” Willow asked very softly.

“I died,” Buffy whispered, shocked at how good the laughter and crying had done her, “Xander saved me, I haven’t even thanked him yet, and now this, he was sold into slavery . . . god, I’ve been feeling so . . .”  Willow hugged her close again, she didn’t need to explain. Buffy felt grateful and went back to the letter.

Let me tell you, Will, the Chinese mob has nothing on praying mantis ladies.  Four days, and the first chance I got, I took.  I escaped, and ran like hell.  And ran, and ran, and hid.  The bastards came after me, and then the best thing that ever happened to me, happened right then, when I needed it most.  Almost a full day after I took off, with the Chinese mob right behind me, shooting at me, and barely missing, I ran into these Japanese martial artists on a training trip through China : Genma and Ranma Saotome, father and son.  With the Chinese mob right behind me, and me breathing like a dog, I scream for help and explain : ‘Chinese mob, behind me, kidnap, slave, me.’

They understood!  Both them, and some guy that was a guide to the Jusenkyo training grounds that I found myself at that moment - although I wouldn’t find that out until later - had some very rudimentary knowledge of English.  You should have seen them, Will!  They kicked butt!  I wouldn’t be surprised if they could beat, Buffy, that’s how good they were.  They disarmed the thugs in no time, they even bent the barrels with their bear hands, and proceeded with an asskicking I won’t ever forget, and neither will the bad guys!  They notified the Chinese cops - by telegraph, no phone! - I told them where they had kept me, and one Chinese mob operation shut down!  Yay for me!  Yay for my rescuers!

Now comes the best part!  Get this : Genma took me under his wing, he’s training me in the ‘Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts’!  We found out my hyena possession and living on a mystical convergence all my life increased my chi - whatever that is, but apparently it means there is some serious possibility I could be good at this stuff.

Well, that’s all for now, Genma is calling for me to get my lazy ass in gear.  I just wanted to let you know I’m fine, and that you don’t have to worry about me.  I’ll be back in good old Sunnyhell for the next school year - oh! with a surprise you wouldn’t believe if I told you!

I’ll write more soon.  Take care, and don’t forget to have fun, even if it is without me.

Your bestest friend forever and ever,

Xander.

PS: They don’t have Twinkies over here!!  Aaaarggghhh!!

~~~~2~~~~

Anthony Harris opened his front door in irritation, yelling, “WHAT!?” Then his eyes widened in shock at who he saw.

“Hi, dad.”  The fist that was swung at the same time, was completely unavoidable to the senior Harris.  With a groan of pain Anthony Harris was launched off of his feet, and landed a meter further, groaning with a broken jaw.  “Don’t worry, dad,” Xander Harris said with a big grin.  “I won’t be staying, I’m just here to get whatever stuff of mine you haven’t thrown out yet.”  Xander waved some papers above his father’s face, and said, “See, emancipation papers and everything, I even got a cheap apartment already.  And oh, yeah, I’d like you to meet these fine gentlemen in the suits.  I believe you know them as the F, B, I!”

Indeed an FBI agent entered the building, “Anthony Dennis Harris, I am Special Agent Don Ballard.  You are under arrest for slavery, aiding and abetting kidnappers, and trafficking of human beings.  You have the right to remain silent, everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.  You have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney the state will provide you with one.  Do you understand these rights as I’ve explained them to you.”

“He’s lying!” Tony Harris said desperately, trying to point at Xander, but had difficulty with that in his now handcuffed state.

“Oh, no, he isn’t, we’ve seen the proof,” Ballard answered him as he pushed Xander’s father out of the house.

Another FBI agent said with a shaking head, “Selling your own son into slavery, you really are one of the lowest pieces of shit I’ve ever come across!”

“Ta ta!” Xander called after his father, waving overly sweet.  Suddenly he turned around grinning evilly.  “Oh, mom!  YOU BETTER HAVE TWINKIES!!”

*****

Buffy looked up from the letter, smiling, shocked at the way Xander once again joked.  “He’s . . . wow,” Buffy muttered with a big smile.

“Yep, next,” Willow said excitedly, and so Buffy put the letter back in the envelope, but underneath the pile.  She took out the next one and started reading.

Willow Rosenberg

6305 Westminster Place

94148, Sunnydale, CA

United States of America

Jusenkyo, China, June 17, 1997

Will, my sweet Will-o-whisp!

I love China!  And I love Japanese even more!  Turns out the tour guide knows a whole lot more English than we first thought!  He’s been our interpreter, not to mention teaching me Japanese, and my two new best MALE - won’t ever forget you - friends in the world better and better English.

I finally understand what ‘chi’ is too; my life force!  They were right!  I AM good at this.  It’s amazing how fast I pick this up, it’s almost as if I did this before and I just get reacquainted with it.  It’s awesome too!  Of course the Saotomes still kick my ass... and boy is it sore!  I’m rubbing to get the sting out as I write this!

Anyway, I’m still in one piece, more or less, and I’ll return home later a whole lot better equipped to kick vampire butt!  So don’t worry about me, I’ll be back before you know it.

Your friend,

Xander

PS: They don’t even know what Twinkies are!! Sacrilege!!

Buffy looked up from the letter with a big smile, and Willow smiled back.  “I didn’t know Xander could be so . . .” she shook her head.  As Willow nodded she quickly put the letter back and got the next one.

Willow Rosenberg

6305 Westminster Place

94148, Sunnydale, CA

United States of America

Jusenkyo, China, June 31, 1997

Hey, Willow,

Sorry I didn’t write sooner, but Genma has been putting me and Ranma through some serious, serious training.  My muscles ache practically constantly, there are times when I couldn’t even lift a pen!

Anyway, yesterday I managed to land a punch on Genma!  Yay, me!  Of course he landed twenty on me before I did, so, ow.  I still can’t even come close to touching Ranma though, the guy is just too slick, too fast and too agile.

I’ve been wishing I knew what Buffy’s address is where’s she’s staying this summer, so I could send her letters too.  I’ve sent one to her mom’s, you know to reassure her, I decided not to send any letters to Buffy at her mom’s address though, figuring by the time she’d be back and gets to read them it’s kind of useless.

Ranma is a cool guy!  You’d love him.  I bet you would get along with him as great as you get along with me!  I think we can call ourselves friends for life already.

And Genma rules!  The dude is a sneaky bastard let me tell you, but he loves Ranma.  If there was anything he could do about it, he’d never let anything happen to Ranma.  He’s the father I never had, and damn, I’m lucky, he actually sees me as somewhat a surrogate son, I think.

That’s it for now, don’t stay moping behind the computer screen!

Yours truly,

Xander.

PS: There still aren’t any Twinkies!!

Buffy blinked, and said, “It seems he’s had a great time.”

“Yeah, I wish Xander’s father had sold me along with him,” Willow said with a wide grin. “Grab the next!”

Buffy nodded, and quickly put this letter away and got out the next.

Willow Rosenberg

6305 Westminster Place

94148, Sunnydale, CA

United States of America

Guilin, China, August 13, 1997

Yo, Willow!

You’ll never guess what happened.  We went to an honest to god village of a lost tribe of Chinese Amazons!  Boy, were they hot!  Legs up to their necks, perfectly formed asses, and breasts, mmh!  Not to mention perfectly trained, very strong women, no bimbos among the Amazons!  Oh, sorry, that’s probably not what you want to hear, huh?  Well, as a consolation I can tell you I bedded none, in fact they all tried to kill us.  We ate the main prize in an Amazon martial arts contest, so if it was the prize anyway, Ranma decided to take on the winner so we would win it fair and square.  Not surprisingly Ranma won the fight, but instead of congratulating him, the Amazon gave him the kiss of death, and then they chased after us, trying to kill us.

Buffy laughed out loud, and looked up at a smiling Willow.  “That’s so typically Xander, his stomach gets him in trouble.  Those three must be pretty much the same,” Buffy said with a wide grin.

“Yeah, that’s Xander alright, I could tell you stories,” Willow answered the blonde, who grinned and turned back to the letter.

So, we hightailed it out of there, as you can guess. Outnumbered 50 to 1 are a little too great odds. We’re on our way back to the coast, and then home, but since we don’t have a plane like my way in, or a car, or anything else, it’ll take a while: China is a big country.

On our way back, we keep training of course, and yesterday I beat Ranma!  That’s right, I beat him with a really sneaky combination he didn’t expect!  Too bad for me he was not amused and proceeded with a revanche match in which he kicked my ass ten ways from Sunday - I’m still counting the bruises - but I actually defeated him!

I hope you’re having as great a summer as I am, Will, take care!

Xander.

PS: HEELP!!  Twinkie withdrawal!!!

“Ouch, Twinkie withdrawal, that sounds bad,” Buffy laughed, and Willow joined it.  Once they were done laughing, Buffy quickly got out the final letter.

Willow Rosenberg

6305 Westminster Place

94148, Sunnydale, CA

United States of America

Hong Kong, UK, August 24, 1997

Hey, Willow,

I hope they send this letter by airmail or I’ll arrive before it does.  I had a hell of time convincing the American consulate I really am Alexander LaVelle Harris, and that I was sold into slavery - thank you Chinese police and the Saotomes for confirming that - and that they should issue me a new passport, but I finally did!  The Saotomes helped me so much, but here our ways will part.  They’ll take a boat to Japan, while I’ll come back to you, my fair redheaded lady!  You haven’t taken another knight into your bed have you?

The thousand mile walk, a lot of it running, did hell for my physique!  I’m a lean mean fighting machine now; not quite as good as Ranma, but I’m pretty close.

I’ll quit this now, I’m going to be back soon anyhow.  And oh, yeah, don’t forget the surprise you won’t believe!

See you soon, Will, I can’t wait!

Xander,

PS: Soon I will have Twinkies again!  YEEESSS!!

Buffy laughed out loud, and then chuckled.  “God, Xander has such a one track mind,” Buffy said with a wide grin.

“He’s a guy . . . and I’ve got the hots for him,” Willow told Buffy with a grin.  “I’m hopeless, aren’t I?”

“Yup, clear cut case of guy-on-the-mind syndrome,” Buffy told Willow with an almost perpetual grin.  Willow gave the Slayer a look.  “Don’t worry, we’re all affected, no way to escape that gruesome fate.”  The both of them laughed together.

“He should be here by tomorrow,” Willow muttered hopefully.

*****

Angel paced brooding through his apartment.  Buffy had been gone all summer.  Was there any hope for them?  With a sudden crash the front door swung open, and a voice called, “Well, hello, if it isn’t Mr. Soulful.”

“Xander, what are . . .” the souled vampire stammered as Xander casually stepped closer to him.

“I’m gonna kick your ass, ‘cause I haven’t had any Twinkies in the past two months, and it’s seriously pissed me off,” Xander cut him off with a malicious grin.  “I don’t suppose you cared enough to keep track of me and Willow during summer, did you?  I guess not, or you’d have looked into my disappearance.”

Angel was getting fed up with the boy.  He may be one of the good guys, but he would not let himself be talked to like he was some flunky.  He threw a right cross, and then the most amazing thing happened.  Xander twisted away just slightly, his right arm moved to the right of Angel’s punch.  With a quick motion Angel was doubled over, using his own momentum against him, and his arm was placed into a lock.  Before the vampire could even wipe the surprise from his face there came a powerful kick to his knee, and he sank to the floor with a cry of pain.  The arm lock disappeared, only for his arm to be grabbed by Xander’s left arm. A moment later Xander’s right arm slammed in the vampire’s chest, and then shot upward painfully in his throat.  To Angel’s surprise he was pulled off the ground and a moment later he felt his back painfully land on Xander’s knee.  Xander then grabbed the souled vampire by his collar and pulled him off the ground.  A moment later Angel found himself placed against the wall, his feet ten or twenty centimeters above the floor.

“Unlike you, Dead Boy, I haven’t hidden behind the television,” Xander told Angel with a vicious grin.  Angel gasped as the pains that still ran through his body.  “I’m going to tell you this only once, you cowardly bastard; you will do absolutely nothing romantic toward Buffy, she tries something with you, you refuse, and if you don’t comply to my demand I will dust you, soul or no soul.”

“What is it, boy, jealous?” Angel asked Xander.

Xander grinned evilly, and said, “Absolutely, but that’s not what this is about.  Imagine your sixteen-year-old sister coming home with a demon-animated corpse over two centuries old, that can’t walk in the sun, and that gained her heart by being a coward hiding in shadows, bribing her affection with gifts and going the mysterious routine.  Then imagine that demon-animated corpse lying through his teeth, potentially getting the girl killed, rather than fessing up he doesn’t know something and could have gotten a quick crash course if he confessed.”

Angel looked stricken at the smiling Xander.  He continued, “You see, Angel, I’ve had plenty of time to think.  If you don’t have breath, how do you speak?”  Angel swallowed, looking into the angry eyes of the youth before him, and the fact that was still held up against the wall showed him the boy wasn’t playing without a full deck of trump cards.  Xander continued, before he could answer, “And even /if/ there’s some mystical reason, or you thought you needed to be alive for some mystical reason for it to work, you could have always helped with the heart compressions.  You didn’t, you just didn’t know CPR, and you lied through your teeth in order to look good, Buffy’s life be damned.”

Angel let his head drop in shame.  “So, jealous or not, in love with or not, do you think anyone who cares about Buffy would let a sickening, lying, spineless bastard like you get his claws inside of her, hmm?”  Angel shook his head.  “I didn’t think so.  If there’s just one decent bone in your body, /vampire/, you will keep your paws off of her for her sake.  And if that isn’t enough, then for your own selfish sake, for I /will/ stake you, even if I have to go through Buffy to do it.”

Xander then let the vampire go, and let him drop unceremoniously to the ground, and walked out of the apartment, leaving a dazed, souled vampire behind.

*****

Buffy and Willow sat on a bench on school grounds.  Grass and a tree were behind them.  It was morning, but the son was already shining.  The two girls looked around, Cordelia and her Cordettes were already parading around like they owned the place, dividing potential boyfriends amongst each other, and more importantly which were too low for them, and which girls weren’t allowed to date them.  Obviously Buffy and Willow would only be allowed to have anything to do with the ‘lowest of the lowest’.  Willow was used to it, Buffy felt ashamed that she once had been like that.

“Oh, yoohoo!  Boys!  I’m new here, could someone point me to the principal’s office?” a coy, sweet voice called out, making everyone look around toward it.  And just like that, balance of power would never be the same again.  The boys’ jaws dropped - juniors or seniors it didn’t matter - and the girls glared.  Even Willow and Buffy, thinking of themselves as rather open minded glared.  For there she stood, the girl that had spoken.  Her face was made up with deep red lipstick, her raven hair reached to her shoulders, her eyes and cheeks had a light color.  She was pouting and the expression on her face was a mixture of innocence, predator, and sly sexiness.  Her eyes shone with confident power, her body was in a position that screamed ‘Sex!’ and so were her clothes.  Shiny, short black boots with middle-high heels supported legs that went up and up, and the muscles in her legs were defined, showing strength yet softness.  A small black skirt didn’t even come half-way her knees.  Her belly button was visible, and above that was a loose top, but tight enough show off her c-cup breasts.  The top was sleeveless, and it wrapped around her arms, leaving her shoulders bare, and allowing a view of the top of her breasts.  She had a back pack casually slung over her right shoulder, a short black leather jacket over her left, and to complete the sultry look, she was peering over a pair of small, black sunglasses.

As boys immediately moved from their position toward the wet dream of a girl, she superiorly pushed her sunglasses back upward with her right index finger, while keeping her mouth suggestively open.  Girlfriends angrily stopped some of the boys, while they protested they were just going to do their civil duty.  The girl’s mouth curled into a sly smile, and slowly started walking.  Guys held their breath, for she didn’t just walk, she glided forward, her hips swaying in a suggestive manner: ‘I am sex incarnate, I’m the best fuck you could possibly imagine.’

Buffy and Willow glared as the girl sensually walked forward, stopping in front of them where she was met by a throng of boys, all looking with open mouths, if not outright drooling. “That bitch,” Buffy whispered, as she took in the best looking girl she had ever seen, and obviously had the guts to show it /all/ off.

“That slut,” Willow agreed, looking openmouthed a hole mixture of emotions burning to her young body.  When the new girl turned her head towards them, angling her head so she was looking over her sunglasses again, and winked at the two of them, both jerked in shock. Willow turned to Buffy, and asked, “Do you know her?”  Buffy shook her head, glaring with outright jealousy at the girl.

Cordelia was the only girl not glaring with jealousy, seeing as she was the only one capable of competing /and/ having the self-confidence and sense of superiority not to be put off by another hot, and instantly popular girl.  The queen of Sunnydale High, or Queen C, as she liked to be considered walked confidently to the girl.  She held out a hand, and the new girl shook it.  “Hi, I’m Cordelia Chase, it’s so nice to meet another girl who understands style,” Cordelia said.

“Lexa Horne,” the girl introduced herself, articulating the words so that she showed her tongue playfully moving in her tongue.  She then moved her sunglasses down a bit, and checked out her competition.  Cordelia was wearing a smooth dress, that went all the way up her throat, the top part hugging her breaths.  The lower part almost reached her knees.  Lexa then said, “Sweety, you have style, I grant you that - the style of a nun.”

Cordelia’s face was priceless, her jaw dropped in shock.  Willow couldn’t believe her ears, had this new girl just put Cordelia off like she was yesterday’s trash?  Yep!  “Go Lexa,” Willow softly said with a smirk.

Buffy, less interested in Cordelia’s downfall, not to mention the fact that a little over a year ago she’d be on the receiving end, put her arms across her chest, and said, “She’s still a slut.”  Willow hastily nodded in agreement.

Lexa casually turned to a little guy to her left, and asked, “What’s your name, handsome?”

“J-j-jona-jonathan,” the guy answered, and everyone looked even more shocked.  Jonathan handsome?

“Well, Jonathan,” Lexa said sultry.  She put her jacket down, placing in the insides of her left arm, and wrapped that arm around his, not bothered that she had to tilt over just slightly. She walked forward, somehow managed to stay sexy even tilted over, and Jonathan walked along, and they left the throng of people.  “Could you tell me where the principal’s office is?” she asked sweetly.  Jonathan nodded, and gave her directions.  Lexa broke contact and turned toward him.  “Thanks, handsome,” she said and then bent at the waist.  People - hornier getting boys, and ever more jealous and angry becoming girls, Cordelia included this time - had seen the way the skirt smoothly fell along Lexa’s ass, showing off the perfect rounding. Now that she bent over, the sexual tension jumped another hundred degrees Celsius.  She placed a kiss on Jonathan’s forehead, and then turned toward the entrance of the school.  With a casual flip, she placed her jacket back over her shoulder, and walked toward the school’s entrance.  Each of her steps dripped with sex appeal.  Girls, not all the way on the top of the food chain, and even a few who were, turned to look at the boy, wondering if they had missed something.  Jonathan just looked straight ahead with a huge grin, after all, he had been only centimeters away from barely covered breasts, that had been on perfect display as Lexa bent over in front of him.

“She’s such a slut,” Cordelia commented loud enough, it did not seem to change people’s opinions of the super hot girl that had just tore through Sunnydale High like a tornado, and she hadn’t even been here five minutes.

“We best get inside, Willow.  She’s evil, I can tell, we have to find out what her plan for world destruction is,” Buffy muttered with simmering anger.  She got up and pulled Willow along.

“Uh, ok,” said the stumbling redhead.  Once she righted herself, she asked, “Have you seen Xander yet?”

*****

The Slayer and the Slayerette quickly walked into the school grounds, heading toward the principal’s office.  Halfway there, they both suddenly felt arms wrapping around their shoulders, and a hated voice saying, “Hi, guys.”

Buffy and Willow jerked, and then turned around, looking straight into Lexa’s breasts. Then they looked up into her smiling face.  “Uhm,” Willow peeped out, “Do we know you?”

“No, but I know you,” she answered with a big smile and held out her hand.  Tentatively Buffy took it, and Lexa said, “I’m Lexa, Xander’s cousin.”  Buffy and Willow’s eyes widened at that revelation.  Lexa then switched shaking hands to Willow and continued, “My parents died in a car crash two weeks ago, and I came to live with Xander’s parents.  Tony probably thought he could sell me for even more cash than he did Xander.  Thank god Xander came to rescue me from that hell hole last night.  I live with /him/ now, he’s got his own apartment.”

“Xander?” Willow asked excitedly.  “So Xander is here?”

“Yeah, he’s around somewhere, the guy is really illusive.  Listen, I got to get to class, see you guys later, ok?” Lexa said, and then turned around and sped off.

“Ok,” Buffy answered.  Willow and Buffy turned around, and Willow’s mouth curled up into a smile as they walked unconsciously toward the library.  “What?” Buffy asked.

“You thought Xander’s cousin was evil,” Willow accused Buffy with a wide grin.

The Slayer folded her arms across her chest, and said, “It could have been.  You saw the way she dressed.”  Willow giggled.  “Hey!”

“Let’s just get to Giles, perhaps he found out something about the girl from last night,” Willow suggested, stifling her giggling as best as possible.  Buffy pouted.

*****

Lexa disappeared into the men’s bathroom.  She turned on the hot water faucet, and then she went into a stall.  Inside she pulled out a make-up pad from her bag and rapidly cleaned off her make up.  Very quickly she removed her clothes, and put on jeans that she pulled from her bag.  Then pulled out a sleeveless tight shirt that she put on, much too tight for her breasts if she tried to button it all the way closed.  Her boots then went off and she put on sports shoes.  In less then two minutes she was finished.  She slung the bag back over her shoulder and went out the stall.  She held her hands under the now hot water, and splashed it on her face.  She looked up, and Xander’s face looked back at her from the mirror.  “Hey . . . Jesus!” a guy’s voice sounded.

As Xander buttoned the shirt closed, he turned his head, and asked, “What?”

“For a minute there I thought I saw a girl,” the guy answered him.

“Are you insulting me?” Xander asked, and the guy quickly shook his head seeing the deadly muscles of his arms on display.  “Thought so,” Xander said.  He grinned and left the bathroom.

*****

The Slayer and the redhead reached the library door, when they heard a familiar voice, “Hey, guys!”  They veered a bit to the side, so they could see around another student and saw Xander.  The martial artist quickly ran around the other student and reached them.

“Xander!” Willow squealed out in happiness at the return of her best friend.  She ran, and jumped around his neck.

“Hi, Will!” Xander exclaimed as he hugged her close and whirled her around full circle.  “I missed you.”

“I missed you too!” Willow exclaimed and then was put back on the ground, she giggled.  She took a step back, and joined Buffy in ogling Xander.  Now a step back, and her enthusiasm tempered she could take him in properly.  The jeans were tight, and the bare arms . . . oh boy, if Willow thought Xander was hot before; she could see the clear muscles ready to ripple, ready to strike, ready to hold and keep save, and hug . . . Willow swallowed.

“Buffy,” Xander said, and enveloped the stunned Slayer in a bear hug.  “I missed you too, so glad I’m back.”

“I’m glad your back to, Xander, and thank you for saving my life,” Buffy answered, copping a feel of his arms as she hugged him back.  *Very glad,* she thought.  *Oh, god!  Where did that come form?*

“Just doing my civil duty,” Xander answered the blonde that he hugged fiercely.  God, it was good to be back.

When Xander stepped back, smiling, Willow took notice of his shoulder length hair, and ooh, didn’t she want to run her fingers through those long manes.  Instead she said, “New hair style, and clothing style too.”

“Yeah, like it?” Xander grinned.

Buffy and Willow nodded simultaneously.  Buffy shook her head, and said, “Xan, let’s go see Giles.  Last night we saw a girl dust six vampires, we think she might be a Slayer.  Giles has looked it up.”

“Ok,” Xander said confused, his eyes twinkling.  The three turned to the library doors and walked in, as Xander asked, “But can’t there be only one Slayer?”

“Yeah, one Slayer is called when the other died, and I was dead for a few moments there, thanks again, Xan,” Buffy answered with a wide grin.

“Quite,” Giles sounded from the back of the room as he stepped down from a ladder and turned around.  He did a double take at the much more lean Xander, and then said, “It’s good to see you again, Xander.  After Willow came to me telling me you had disappeared, and I tried to locate you, there were times when I thought we would never see you again, I was most pleased to hear she received letters from you.”

“Are you certain you weren’t disappointed, G-man?” Xander asked with a grin, the three Scoobies arriving in the middle of the library.

“I must admit,” Giles stated completely seriously, “a small part of me was.”

“Did you just make a joke, Giles?” Xander asked.

“Don’t be silly, and focus,” Giles admonished him, and stepped forward.  “I called the Council, and indeed a new Slayer was called.”  Everyone’s eyes widened, except Giles’s who casually continued, “Her name is Kendra, her watcher is Sam Zabuto, and she’s in Equador. Whoever the girl was you saw yesterday, Buffy, Willow, was most certainly not a Slayer.”

“There’s really another Slayer?” Buffy wondered out loud, thinking what she was like.

“Yes, the council swears they sent a memo,” Giles stated, his tone betraying his skepticism at that.

“A second Slayer,” Willow wondered out loud.

Giles collected his books, and said, “I suggest you three get to class before you’re late, and keep an eye out for this mysterious girl.  Talk to her if you can, but don’t provoke her, she can be quite dangerous if she took out six vampires on her own.”

“Yes, Giles,” the three Scoobies chorused.

“Very funny, now scoot,” Giles told them.  The three friends turned around and walked to the door.

“Ooh, Xander, we met your cousin, now she’s something else!” Willow told Xander with a big grin.

“Oh, yeah, if she weren’t my cousin, I’d know what I’d be doing,” Xander answered with a wide grin.

Buffy gave him an elbow.  He made a painful sound, while she smiled, “There are ladies present, Xander.”

"Where?” Xander asked surprised, looking around to spot the ‘ladies’.

“Xander!” Willow scolded him as she gave him a playful elbow and Buffy scowled.  “Hey, where’s my surprise!” Willow suddenly asked, remembering his promise from the letters.

Xander grinned at Willow, telling her, “Have patience, Will.  It’ll get here.”

“Why didn’t you bring a surprise for me?” Buffy pouted with sad, sad eyes.

“Buff, the surprise is for both of you, just be patient, you’ll get the surprise soon enough,” Xander answered smiling slyly.

“Oh, tell us what it is!” Buffy whined.

Xander looked at her and said, “Buffy, you need to buy a dictionary, and look up the word ‘surprise’.”  Buffy gave her best pout, and Xander told her, “Sorry, Buff, I cast an anti-Buffy-pout spell before I came to school, because I knew you’d be trying one.”

Buffy continued the pout, folding her arms across her chest, and said, “You’re no fun.”

Willow giggled at her friends’ banter.

Giles watched them pass through the doors, and muttered, “It’s miracle the world hasn’t been sucked into hell yet.”

~~~~3~~~~

“So, Lexa said you had your own apartment?” Buffy wondered, taking in the new improved Xander.  Dang it, he was still the old loveable Xander-shaped friend, but Xander-shaped was a whole lot better shaped then before.  She shook her head; she had Angel, she couldn’t do that to Willow, it was something to ban from her mind.

“Yep,” Xander told her with a grin.  “One whose previous owner was killed by a vampire, rent is /way/ down, sometimes vampire attacks are good for something after all.”

“Xander!” Willow said in horror.

“Relax, Wills, I know the guy’s dying was bad, but you gotta see the silver lining, you know?  Anyway, I’ve been decorating, Lexa’s been helping, when it’s finished, you’re all invited to the big unveiling of Case del Xander!” Xander exclaimed with a big grin.

“You better not forget that, we expect pie, we expect a party!” Buffy gushed grinning widely.

“Don’t worry, Slayer appetite is calculated in,” Xander replied grinning as they slowly got closer to their class room.

“Are you saying I’m fat?” Buffy latched on.

“No, I’m saying you’ve got a good metaba-bo . . . help me out here, Will,” Xander returned, blanching as he couldn’t remember the last part of the word.

Willow grinned, and said, “metabolism.”

“Yeah, that!” Xander said, pointing at Willow and then looked back at Buffy, who seemed to have accepted the explanation.

She smiled, and asked, “So, what have you been doing since you got back?”

Xander grinned, remembering, and then said, “Well, the first couple of days I was stuck in LA, at the FBI turning my father in, and going around with judges to get ‘emancipated’ as they call it, while I searched for the apartment via the net.  Then when they all accepted the evidence I presented them, and they believed that I wasn’t a prankster we all returned here. First I went over to pick up the keys for my new apartment, there was a deadline, and then over to my parents’ house.  You should have seen the look on my dad’s face when they slapped the cuffs on him.  They dragged him away, and then I went further inside, finding a scared Lexa.”  Xander smiled broadly.  “Ow!” he exclaimed as two elbows hit him.  “What was that for?!”

“We have to keep you from fantasizing about you’re own cousin, Xander,” Buffy explained.

Willow added, “Yep, incest is unsavory.”

“I was fantasizing about my dad being hauled away, and who he was going to share his cell with!” Xander protested.  “You two really have a low opinion of me, don’t you!?”

“Oh,” Willow blanched.

“Sorry, Xan, but you’re a guy,” Buffy explained pitifully as they reached the door of their classroom.

Xander shook his head, and said, “You two need to stop reading the feminist propaganda, men think about more than sex.”

“Yeah, food, drink, and sports,” Willow answered with as straight a face as she could muster.  Buffy giggled.

“Hopeless.  The female race is hopeless,” Xander said, shaking his head and stepped into the classroom, ahead of his friends, who giggled more.

*****

Buffy felt her air being restricted.  She tried to gasp for air, but couldn’t.  The hands around her neck got tighter and tighter; hands belonging to Giles!  In desperation she clawed at his head, and to her shock the skin gave away, and she pulled it off, revealing: the Master’s face! He growled in satisfaction . . .

Buffy’s eyes snapped open, and she looked around her bedroom; it had been a dream.  Her eyes latched onto a figure standing at the window, and she recognized Angel.  “Can I come in?” the vampire asked, even though he was already in.

“Feel free,” Buffy commented somewhat annoyed.

“I’m sorry if I waked you,” Angel said, remembering Xander’s threat, and the line ‘If you have but one decent bone in your body . . .’  God, Buffy had such nice kissable lips . . . stop it, business only!

“Is this a social call?” Buffy bit in irritation at about everything.

“Uh, no,” Angel answered, still going over Xander’s disturbing visit to his apartment.

“Oh, I get it, grave danger then, home sweet home,” Buffy bit at him, glaring at him.

Angel was rather shocked at the hostility, but then, that was probably a good thing.  “The vampires are on the move, they are up to something, just a heads up.”

“Thank you, but I can handle it, is that all?” Buffy asked of him.

I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, Angel thought, fidgeting.  “Well, you didn’t call or write, I was wondering . . .”

“No, I wasn’t moaning about you every moment while I was gone,” Buffy bit at him.

Angel looked a little shocked, and asked, “Did I do something to offend you?”

“Nope, and I’m really sorry if you think I should have been moping about you, but I haven’t, and I’ve moved on, to the living,” Buffy told him snidely, and then turned around on her side her back to Angel, and pulled the covers tightly.

“Yeah, ok, that’s good . . . I missed you,” Angel said with a little pain in his voice.

Buffy turned around quickly, starting, “I missed you . . .”  Angel was already gone.

*****

“So, Angel came by last night,” Buffy said, as she opened her locker and got out a few books.

“Really?  Was there, uh . . . kissing involved?” Willow asked excitedly.

“Yeah, and groping, and grinding?” Xander asked half bitterly, his eyes shining with a brand new hardness that had slipped in after being sold into slavery and training to become a powerful martial artist.

“Hormone overload you two?  Get your minds out of the gutter.  Not every boy-girl meeting is about hunkadory, he came by to warn us that the vampires are up to something,” Buffy explained with a shake of her head.

“Oh, well,” Willow said subdued, as the three of them started walking.

“Will, that reminds me,” Xander said, happy it seemed the corpse was keeping to the warning.  “This afternoon, at the library, I want to start training you.”

“Huh?  But . . . no-no, brainiac hacker here, not of the fighting,” Willow told him, tightening her hold on her books.

“Will, I want you to be safe.  I won’t put you through weight training and everything if you don’t want to, but I want you to be able to get out alive if you’re surrounded by a couple of gang members on PCP, okay?” Xander told her with a little force, mixed with pleading.  “I’ll teach you some basics of Hapkido.”

Willow frowned, “I thought you were taught something else . . .”

“Yes, “Anything Goes” Martial Arts,” Xander answered, making the quotes with his fingers. “Emphasis on ‘Anything Goes’, that’s literally.  Anything that works, is used.  Hapkido works, it’s all about using your opponents strength and speed against him.  Which means that even a sweet little, no-strength girl like you can kick vampire ass, ok?”

“Yeah, Will, that would be good,” Buffy added, thinking it would be nice if Willow could handle herself as well.  She was still wondering how good exactly Xander had gotten, perhaps she should spar with him.

They walked into Cordelia then, who asked them, “Well, if it isn’t the three musketeers.”

“Uhm, Cordelia, the three musketeers were cool?” Willow asked rather shocked.

“So?” Cordelia asked.

Xander nodded, and told her, “You know, I would have gone for ‘the three stooges’, myself?”

Cordelia looked at him uncomprehending, and replied, “Whatever. I just meant that you’re always together.”

“I would have gone for the three stooges as well,” Buffy told Xander slyly.

“Listen,” Cordelia said drawing their attention, “I wanted to ask if you’ve fought anymore squicky things lately.”

Xander gave a fake laugh and said, “Silly Cordelia.  Squicky things at that party.”

“Huh?  No, I mean the demons and the vampires we fought at prom night,” Cordelia replied. “You know, grrr.”

“You m-must be joking, vampires, demons?  Ha, ha, good one, Cordelia?” Willow answered, as the three of them quickly walked onward.

 Xander pulled Cordelia along, and said softly, “You see, Cordelia, you can’t tell anyone about the demons, and Buffy being the Slayer, or everything will go very, very wrong, ok?”

“You haven’t spoken to anyone about our adventures, have you?” Buffy asked softly.

“What?  Are you crazy?  And everyone knowing I hung out with you three losers on prom night?  Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” Cordelia told the Slayer.

“Well, perfect,” Buffy said with a sweet smile, adding softly, “You won’t tell anyone I’m the Slayer, and I won’t tell anyone you’re a moron.”  Then Buffy walked past Cordelia and Xander and Willow.

“Now that’s a good insult,” Xander observed with somewhat wide eyes.

“A little too good,” Willow whispered.

 Cordelia just huffed, and said, “First a slut, now a bitch.”  Then she walked off.

Xander and Willow looked at each other for a moment.

*****

While Xander was teaching Willow the basics of kicking and punching without hurting herself, Buffy was training against the wooden dummy, with Giles watching.  She punched the pad representing a torso, and punched harder, and faster.  She beat against the wooden arms on occasion, and beat the mid section again.  She beat the ‘head’ with even greater fervor, and then went back to the torso.  Hitting, it again, and again, going faster and faster, her face in a grimace.

Giles finished taking a sip from his tea, and said, “I think that’s about enough, Buffy.”  Buffy only increased her speed, and the determination etched in her face.  “Buffy?  Buffy, it’s enough!”  Buffy increased her speed again, then suddenly reared back, and kicked out.  The entire wooden dummy snapped at its central pole and was sent flying away.

“Well, we can safely say you haven’t slipped in your training over the summer,” Giles said with a somewhat amazed face.

“I’m ready,” Buffy nodded in agreement.  “Whatever they’ll throw at me, I’m ready.”

“You certain?” Xander asked, and left Willow behind, joining Buffy in the central circle.

“You think you can take me, Xan?” Buffy grinned at him, almost cruelly.  “You think you’ve trained enough to take on a Slayer?”  Buffy jumped up and down a bit to show off how limber she was.  Xander gave a shrug, and stood casually straight.

With a roar Buffy threw a punch.  Xander casually moved a side, and grabbed her wrist.  He twisted around his axis, and pulled Buffy along, three quarter circle and tossed her aside.  She went high into the air, and crashed through the wooden railing, before she landed on the upper level.  “Watch the books!” Giles cried on in horror, realizing this might not have been such a good idea after.

Buffy looked up, surprised.  “Fine,” she said getting back up.  “First point for you.”  Buffy then took a two step run on and jumped.  Xander flipped backward, throwing his legs up, smoothly stretched out side by side, and catching the flying Buffy straight in the chin with both feet.  She flipped back until she rammed against the raising to the other level, cracking the wall slightly.  Xander was back in the same position again, smiling as Buffy groaned lightly, and got back up, looking at a smirking Xander.  Willow and Giles looked with shock at the display, two moves, to hits on Buffy, none on Xander.

Buffy was a little more cautious this time, she neared Xander fists raised.  She made a rapid jab to Xander’s left, but he danced only his upper body to the right, and used his left hand to move Buffy’s punch aside.  He made a quick step forward, diving into the opening in Buffy’s defense, putting his back in her left’s path.  His right hand shot forward, and his vertical fist hit her on her breast bone.  Since she was still moving forward, the difference in momentum lifted her off her feet and she landed on her ass skidding back.  Deciding punches didn’t work, Buffy got up and delivered a rapid snap kick, that Xander avoided by ducking down and swiping her remaining leg out from under her, making her fall to her ass once again. Buffy made smooth jump to her legs, and pull herself up movement.  The problem for her was that Xander had anticipated it.  He grabbed her right arm with his left, twisted it and locked it beneath his right.  His left hand then went into a snapping hit, his palm ramming in her chin and snapping her face to her left.  At the same time he twisted to back and to his right, using his weight, and her imbalance in the proper direction caused by the hit to pull her along.  Half-way the movement, he let her fall back, releasing her arm from the grip, and grabbing her wrist with both hands.  Thus he used the farther circle moving faster than closer to launch her toward the entrance of the library, where she crashed against the few steps, and rolled upward until she lay in front of the door.

Buffy groaned, and pushed herself up, looking at Xander, and one shocked redhead, and one shocked watcher.  “Fine,” Buffy bit out in irritation.  “So you trained hard, you’re stronger than me, big deal.  I’m the Slayer, it just means I have to put some effort into training, and I’ll kick your ass a week from now!”  The blonde then got up, and stalked into Giles small office to change clothes.

“No, you won’t,” Xander replied but she was long gone.

“Why not?  She /is/ the Slayer,” Giles asked still surprised at the ease with the boy in sweat clothes beat Buffy.

Xander turned to Willow, and asked, “Did you see?  A little bit of what I’ve been teaching you was in there.”  Willow - not in workout clothes, she’d have to bring them the day after - nodded dumbly.  Xander turned further to Giles, and explained, “I didn’t beat her on strength or speed, Giles, hell, I barely even used any of my own.  I beat her on skill, I used her own strength and speed against her.  She can get herself stronger and faster, but that simply means that I’ll give her an even bigger defeat.”  Giles looked thoughtful.  “Giles, if this is the extent of Watcher training, it’s pitiful,” Xander said with a shake of his head.  “Against a true martial artist, a Slayer with this training level wouldn’t stand a chance, as you could see.”

Buffy came back out, dressed in normal clothes again, leaned on the railing, smiling, she was obviously in a little better mood now.  “Hey, Buffy, perhaps you should let Xander train you!” Willow exclaimed excitedly at the prospect.

“No need, Willow,” Buffy said cooly.  “Giles, you and I are going to up my training right?”

“Uh, right,” Giles answered.

Buffy then turned to her friends, and said, “Hey, guys, are we going Bronzing tonight.”

“Sure!” Willow answered enthusiastically.

“Sorry, guys,” Xander answered disappointed.  “I’ve still got a ton of work to do at my new place . . . but Lexa’ll be there!  She’s been saying she’s been itching to dance!  I’ll tell her to go to Bronze and look you up, it’ll be an all-girls-night out for you, you’ll love it!”

Willow looked disappointed at first, and then excited at the prospect of getting Xander’s cousin; the one that had talked Cordelia down so incredibly well!  “All girls!” Willow said, never having had an ‘all-girls-night’ before.  “That could be fun, right Buffy?”

“Yeah, sure!” Buffy answered, and then said, “Well, I gotta go, have fun training you two.” Then she was off.

“Hmm,” Giles said thoughtfully.  “You really should train Buffy, Xander.  For one thing, not having to train Buffy will save the function of my wrists.  I just wish I knew a way to make her understand reason.”

Xander looked at Willow, and smiled, saying, “Don’t worry, Giles.  I know how to get her there.”  Willow blinked and looked behind her, seeing just stone raising on top of which was the second level, then she looked back in confusion.  “Give me a week.”

*****

Lexa a.k.a. Xander stepped in front of the bronze entrance, and grinned.  She wore the same skirt as in school, but she had worn a tight, spaghetti strap top, that hugged her frame, and offered a lovely cleavage.  Her grin widened, as a guy he had never truly been hot, as a girl, he was scorching.  The bronze was his or hers tonight, and nobody was going to stop her.  He stepped inside, and looked around, quickly spotting Buffy and Willow.  With her hips swaying, she walked over to them, taking the time and effort to let most guys now she was here.  An occasional wave of her hand, a wink, and the most guys had spotted her, looking at her with big appreciative eyes.  And none of them would get even a touch: any guys she would take apart would be geeks, and less then jocks.  The ‘popular’ guys she would burn to the ground with remarks none of them would recover soon from.  Payback time for all the times they had ignored or belittled Xander Harris.

Soon the bombshell joined the redhead and the Slayer, and smiled at them broadly.  Girls night had another advantage, she would get to find out thinks she would never find out as a guy, no matter how much Buffy might still consider him ‘one of the girls’.  “Hi, guys,” Lexa greeted the two.

“Hi, Lexa,” Willow said, taking her eyes of the obviously displayed boobs, stopping her wish she had such a magnificent pair.  Next to her Buffy did the same.  Willow took in Lexa’s sly smile and her sparkling eyes, and couldn’t help but feel something, something odd.  There was something about Lexa, now that she had the time to take her in as a friend, not a rival. She didn’t quite know what, but she felt odd somehow.

“Hey,” Buffy greeted, a little jealously.  Damn, how come the new friend had to look like an Amazon sex goddess.  She realized this is what Willow must have felt like when she came blazing into town, and felt sympathy for her redheaded friend, who seemed to be taking this a whole lot better than she was.

“So, any hot guys around?” Lexa asked sitting down on a stool, and starting to take in the room.  “Some heartbreaker I shouldn’t let get to me?”

Willow blinked, and then said, “Well, uh, that guy over there, in the sports jacket, Linden Ashby, he’s gone through a few girls already.”

“Got ya,” Lexa said with a grin.  This was so much fun.

Buffy was next, pointing at quite a hot guy, who was pointedly not from the popular crowd. “That’s Jarod Daniels, I think he’s pretty cute, and I think he’s unattached, right Will?” Willow nodded, and Lexa took the guy in.  He wore jeans, had short brown, nice volume hair, and wore a tight t-shirt showing off his lower arms.  He wasn’t quite as muscular as Xander, but Lexa could see the attraction if she put herself in that position.

“Nice,” Lexa commented.

Willow then pointed at a blonde talking with a blonde girl, and said, “Alan McCarthy, he’s so yummy.”

“And stupid,” Buffy added, nodding resolutely.  “He tried to chat me up a few weeks after I got here first.”  Buffy then shook her head, and said, “You might as well date a chimp, you’d get better conversation.”

“Really?  I didn’t know, too bad,” Willow returned with a frown.  “So, Lexa, Jonathan?  Do you really think he’s handsome?”

“Hmm, who?  Oh!  The helpful guy yesterday,” Lexa looked up, faking remembering him, and said.  “He’s a bit short, could do with a slightly better wardrobe, but yeah, he isn’t bad.  If you’re looking for long term substance, not a quick role in the hay, definitely.  Handsome. What do you guys think?”

Buffy crinkled her nose, and said, “But he’s so . . . so . . . geeky.”  Willow looked down.  “I didn’t mean it like that, Will.  You know what I mean, he doesn’t . . . he . . . how do I put this?”  Lexa waited, after all, Lexa wasn’t supposed to know about Jonathan.  “He’s got no . . . confidence, I think, he just hides in a corner.”

Willow looked further down, that described her as well.  Deciding not to give Lexa the wrong impression, she looked up at her, and said with a false grin, “Of course, the two hottest guys in town aren’t here.”

“Oh?” Lexa perked up, and Buffy looked over.

“Xander and Buffy’s yes / no boyfriend Angel,” Willow announced, making a bright face.

“Angel?” Lexa asked, but before they could answer.  “Oh!  The coward, pedophile vampire hiding in the shadows playing the mysterious routine to prey on teenage girls!  Xander told me to look out for him!  He’s your /boyfriend/?”  Buffy’s jaw dropped at that description.  Not even Xander had called Angel that in front of her face.  Willow’s face was equally shocked. “Did I say something wrong?” Lexa asked nervously.

“Angel isn’t a coward!” Willow protested for her friend’s sake.  “He’s helped us lots of times!  He dusted Darla . . . who attacked him, uh, uh . . .”  Willow scratched her head trying to think of something, and then looked helplessly at Buffy.

“That’s what you disagree with?” Buffy asked rather shocked.  It left to whole pedophile and preying part rather unanswered.  Willow reddened and shrugged.  “Well, starting with coward then, he’s not, he came with Xander to rescue me against the Master, which was this ancient powerful master vampire.”

“That’s not how Xander tells it,” Lexa answered her with a sour look.  “Xander says he had to threaten Angel at cross length and stake point before he would come along and lead Xander to the Master’s lair.”

“He’s lying, he’s just jealous,” Buffy defended Angel.

Lexa looked at her, and then Buffy looked over at Willow.  “Yeah,” Willow said, nervously.

“Hey, just because it’s Buffy’s boyfriend doesn’t mean you have to defend him, you know,” Lexa told Willow sourly, perhaps a little too sourly.  “I thought Xander was your best friend.”

“Willow?” Buffy prompted, looking at the nervous redhead.

Willow looked with a weak expression to Buffy, and said, “I’m sorry, Buffy.  But the way Angel always acts and the way Giles was about this prophecy, I doubt Xander is just making it up.  Xander said he was going to get a way to find out where you went, so /he/ went to Angel. I don’t what happened at Angel’s, but if fits.  Besides, why would he lie to Lexa?”  Buffy blinked several times, and then looked down.  “And you know, hiding in shadows, that’s true,” Willow added.  “Pedophile preying on girls, is a way to interpret his actions.”

“Let’s quit with the hole booboo act,” Lexa talked again, drawing the other two’s attention. “We were with Xander, I believe.  I know he’s hot, and if I weren’t his cousin, rowr, but you really think he’s the hottest guy in this entire town?”

“Oh, yeah!” Willow said, nodding vigorously.  “I’ve had a crush on him in ages, great friend, loyal, heroic, and now he comes back all muscley and oh, boy.  I wish he saw me standing, and not just Buffy here.”  Willow sighed all gushy.

Lexa, or Xander blinked, his heart beating in his chest.  *Whoa!* he thought rather shocked. *Willow?  A crush on me?  In ages?*  He took Willow in another time, looking at her differently, wondering.

“Hey, it’s not my fault,” Buffy pouted at her best friend.  “I can’t help it, I told him ‘no’ to the dance.  But Xander, hottest of the town after Angel?  Well, he definitely isn’t ugly, and he did come back with those muscles, and he saved my life even after I crushed his heart . . . I don’t know about the entire town, but . . . well . . . he’s not bad.”  Buffy looked down, looking at Willow out of the corner of her eyes.  The redhead looked at Buffy as well, not really knowing what now.

“The mood officially went below freezing,” Lexa said and turned to look at the dance floor. “Time to heat it up.  Let’s go dance.”

“Huh?” both Buffy and Willow said.

“Dance, you know, move to the music?” Lexa asked them.

Buffy shook her head, and said, “I don’t really feel like dancing.”

“Well, Willow, let’s go,” Lexa said with a grin, and grabbed Willow by an arm, and pulled her along.

“Hey, but, I . . .” Willow protested without success.  “I don’t really dance.”

“Nonsense, Xander tells me you dance great,” Lexa said easily pulling the diminutive redhead along.  Lexa put Willow across from her, and smiled at Willow, starting sensual motions.  “Come on, Will, you can do this, follow my lead, almost every guy will fall all over you.”

“But, but, guys all over me, doesn’t sound as nice as it sounds.  Wait, that came out wrong,” Willow stuttered out, but the music slowly made her move timidly.

“Trust me, Will, you’re sexy, you’re hot, think you’re Buffy, think you’re Pamela Anderson . . . think you’re Cordelia Chase; you’re queen high bitch, and nobody can touch you, nobody will dare ridicule you, think you’re the hottest girl in town,” Lexa encouraged, starting to roll her hips, bringing her ass out regularly.

“Eep?” Willow asked looking at the hottest girl in town in her opinion.  Lexa had an idea, she suddenly went around Willow.  Once at the back she wrapped her right arm around Willow’s waist, and pulled her back against her, putting the redhead’s head right against the top of her breasts.  As Lexa undulated, started dancing sexy, Willow was forced to go along.

“See, you can do it, just let yourself go,” Lexa encouraged, and slowly Willow got more into it.  This felt good, leaning into Lexa felt good, letting the music rule her body felt good.  “See, all the guys are staring at us.”

Willow gulped, opening her eyes, looking around the room.  It seemed they were only one of three couples left dancing, but all eyes were on them.  “They’re staring at you,” Willow whispered nervously.  “You’ve got breasts, you’re hot.”

“You got breasts too, Will, check out how they poke out a bit when you put your chest out,” Lexa whispered back, knowing the whispering would look extra hot.  Willow did look down, and noticed Xander’s cousin was right.  “Next time, just where something tighter that doesn’t cover up so much.  They’re staring at /us/, Willow, they’re watching two hot babes doing a sexy dance.  A hundred different lesbian fantasies are shooting through their brains, all where they get to join in.  And the girls, they’re all jealous.”

Willow gulped hard, taking in the guys looking at the two of them, and feeling how Lexa maneuvered them in a twisting motion, letting Willow see the other side, more guys watching as their bodies slowly melted to one, moving sexier and more suggestive with the moment. She noticed girls watching with their arms folded across their torsos, obviously not liking this development.  Willow swallowed again, and nervously looked over to Buffy.  To her shock she saw her blonde friend smiling, and then giving her the thumbs up.

The next moment came the shock off her life, when Lexa called out, “Are you guys just going to stand there and ogle us, or will you join in!?”  She specifically didn’t mention ‘what’ they got to join in on.  Willow let out a whimper, as slowly the guys came on the dance floor, and started dancing around the two of them.  To her shock, Willow felt Lexa twist her around, so they were across from each other again, but still close.  “Keep going,” Lexa whispered, bending over to Willow.  “Just follow my lead, let yourself go.”  Willow looked around nervously, but felt like her body had assimilated the movements, and she continued doing them, feeling more self conscious by the moment.  Then Lexa caused another shocking moment.  She twisted away, pulling a guy in her place, and she went to dance with a few guys. Willow gulped, wanting to quit, wanting to sink through the floor, her movements starting to become jittery.

“Hi, I’m Ben Gibson,” the guy said with large eyes, taking in Willow.  She wasn’t exactly his idea of perfection, but there was something about the wallflower look dancing so damn sexy.  The contrast turned him on.

Willow swallowed nervously, and answered, “W-Willow Rosenb-b-berg.”

She felt another two guys dance close enough that they touched her on occasion, instantly making her more nervous, and right after making her calm down with the cool realization that she was not being made fun of, that guys were dancing with /her/.  “I hope you don’t mind me saying it, but you’re sexy,” Ben told her.

“S-sexy?” Willow asked, feeling the music taking over again.

He nodded, and added, “Are you guys . . . a couple, or were you just teasing?”  Willow did a double take.  Teasing?  Her?  She looked over to Lexa, who was easily riding up to guys, surrounding herself by hot guys, yet for some reason pushing equally hot, but more popular guys away.  She was teasing.  Willow Rosenberg had been and was teasing guys!  And they liked it!

“Teasing,” she said with a private smile, trying the word out on her tongue.  “We were just teasing.”

Buffy watched, jealous now.  She really wished she had gone out with them.  She couldn’t believe it.  Willow was dancing like a professional seductress, and she seemed to be becoming better and learning more by the second.  She was smiling, and talking with a guy.  Dang it! She looked over at Lexa as she made the art form of Willow into a lewd festival of groping and touching; she did it with the guys, and they returned the favor!  Damn, the girl had guts, and she had turned Willow around like that, by not giving the redhead a choice.  Buffy watched her friends enjoy themselves for several more minutes, until the song ended, and the band took a break.  A few moments later a grinning Lexa, and a flushed, and embarrassed Willow returned to the table.

“I can’t believe I did that,” Willow said looking away from the blonde.

“Hell no, Will, you were great!” Buffy told her with a smile.  “Lexa went overboard, you just enjoyed yourself.”

“Hey!” the raven-haired girl protested.  Buffy just grinned at her indicating she was just joking, damn it, she was starting to like her.

Lexa fidgeted suddenly, and the other two saw the uncertainty.  “What?” Buffy prompted.

Lexa looked at them nervously, and then said, “Xander said you wouldn’t mind, but I’ve been burned . . .”  She slowly bent forward and so did Buffy and Willow.  “. . . the way you two are, I think he’s right . . . I’m kinda gay.”

Buffy’s and Willow’s eyes widened suddenly and they sat back up straight.  “Kinda?” Willow asked.

“Well, entirely,” Lexa replied.

“You didn’t just . . .” Willow pointed at the dance floor.

“No, no, no,” Lexa stated quickly.  “I didn’t try to cop a feel, but if I did, was that so bad?  I didn’t grab your breasts or ass did I?” she added filled with uncertainty.

“I guess,” Willow said slowly, remembering the girl’s hands on her stomach, and her head against her breasts hadn’t really felt bad.

“Willow, she’s gay, that’s great, I’m completely non-judgmental,” Buffy said with a big grin: no competition!  “Friends together?”  Willow and Lexa nodded smiling.  “You know what,” Buffy added, “Let’s go to my place, watch some tv, I’m getting rather tired, with Angel waking me up in the middle of the night yesterday and we can just sit and chat!”

“Yeah, ok, I gotta recover from that anyway!” Willow said pointing at the dance floor. When the redhead and the raven-haired girl left, plenty of guys and a few girls watched them go with disappointment, realizing they were too late to ask them out.

~~~~4~~~~

Cordelia stepped out of the Bronze, muttering, “Stupid Lexa, stupid Willow.  Who do they think they are, dancing like that?  /I’m/ Cordelia Chase!  /I’m/ the queen of Sunnydale- ow!” Cordelia staggered forward when the pain hit the back of her head.  She turned around and yelled at the vampires before she realized they were exactly that, “What’s the big idea?  Well?”

Cordelia blinked when she recognized the vamped out faces, swallowed and took a step back.  “You can’t even knock out one girl?” one vampire asked the other.  That one shrugged and then before Cordelia could run, he landed a solid haymaker on her chin, and she went out cold.  The other vampire then picked her up, and they took her along.

*****

The three girls walked through Sunnydale side by side, entering a cemetery park for a shortcut.  Xander, or better Lexa had casually without thinking about it put her hands behind her head, and Willow and Buffy looked at Lexa’s protruding breasts, wishing.  Buffy looked down at her own smaller than Lexa’s but by no means non-existent breasts.  It was depressing enough her thoughts went to the other depressing thing that was in her life right now.  “Uhm, Willow, do you know what Giles did with the Master’s bones?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, what did . . .” Lexa started and quickly caught herself.  “Uh, bones?  Don’t they dust?”

“Oh!” Willow said excitedly always enjoying sharing her knowledge.  “The Master was this really old, really powerful master vampire, so powerful his bones stayed intact.  Giles and I buried him in the next cemetery, in consecrated ground, big ritual and all.”

“Let’s go see,” Lexa said with a grin, lowering her arms, and making her breasts look less competitive, much to Willow’s and Buffy’s relief.

A few minutes later they were at an empty grave.  “Shit,” Lexa commented.

*****

Suffice it to say, the rest of the evening wasn’t quite as enjoyable as it had been intended to be.  The next morning the three girls barged into the library with Giles, who quickly and unsubtlely broke away from a kiss with Jenny Calender, the computer teacher.  Giles looked over at the three young women, and his eyes took in Lexa with widening eyes, quickly averting his eyes when he felt Jenny growing miffed.  “Ah, what can I do for you, ladies?” Giles spoke with his British, cultured voice.

Although the girls had noticed the kiss, they didn’t comment, having more important things to worry about.  “He’s gone, Giles,” Buffy spoke bitterly.

“Who is?” Giles asked.

“The Master!” Willow spoke with fear.

Buffy nodded, and said, “We went by his grave last night, it’s empty.  They dug him up! You assured me it was over, you told me he was gone, over and done with!”

“Well, I’ve never heard of a vampire resurrection ritual,” Giles said with trepidation, making Buffy glare at him, and no slight glare either.  He took off his glasses and started cleaning them, saying, “I’ll start researching right away.”

“You really think they'll bring him back?” Jenny asked a little fear in her voice, she still remembered that night.

“Ooh!” Lexa exclaimed and quickly walked over to Giles.  She turned around and rode her butt against him.  She looked up in his astonished eyes, blinked her eyelids suggestively, yet innocently, and said, “But a big strong man like you will keep me safe, won’t you, Mr. Giles?”

“Uh, uh,” Giles said not knowing where to look, trying to keep his eyes off of the very visible cleavage from this position.  Buffy and Willow snickered as Jenny made an angry sound from deep withing her mouth.

“Ah, don’t worry, Ms. Calender, she’s gay, she just likes to play,” Willow said with humor in her voice.  The teacher looked at the girl who stood up, stroking her skirt straight.

“Willow, great way to ruin my fun,” Lexa commented with a scowl.

“Sorry,” Willow muttered looking at the ground.

“I suggest you get to class, I’ll let you know what I find,” Giles told the three girls.

A few moments later the three of them were outside the library, and Lexa said, “Say you later, my class is this way.  Bye.”

“Bye,” Buffy and Willow said as they saw Lexa sped off.  They watched her disappear around a corner, and Willow said, “I like her.”

Later in class.  “Harris!  You’re late!  Again!” the teacher scolded as Xander stepped into the classroom.  “Take a seat, quickly!”

“Sorry,” Xander said, and quickly sat in a table next to Buffy, and behind Willow, giving Buffy a smile.

*****

Later that day, after sundown

“Ah!  Here’s something!” Giles exclaimed looking in the book.  Everyone else closed their books and went over to him.  “Here is a vampire resurrection ritual, but it only works if the bones are intact.”

“Check, one down, what more do they need?” Xander asked with a scowling look.

“Ahm,” Giles said reading through the ancient text.  “It’s a little fuzzy, but it says they need the person or persons closest to the vampire upon his death.”

“That would be me,” Buffy stated with rock-solid face.  Everyone looked at her.  “You know, mortal enemies, killing him, you can’t get much closer than that without becoming pelvic.”

“Yes, well, I am not entirely certain,” Giles said, lifting his glasses.

“We should continue looking,” Willow said nervously, and then a window shattered.  With several loud sounds a rock crashed in front of them on the floor.  Buffy picked up the rock, and noticed the piece of paper attached to it.  She took it and read the message.

“They’ve got Cordelia, they want me to come to the Bronze,” Buffy said coldly, angrily, and went over to the weapons locker.  “I’ll go get her, you stay here.”

“Uh, what?” Xander asked in surprise.  “I vote strength in numbers.”

“No, I’m the Slayer, I can handle this!” Buffy told him angrily.

Xander rolled his eyes, and said, “I’m the one who kicked your ass remember?”

“Stay here, Xander,” Buffy told him somewhat angrily.  Now armed, she headed toward the exit.

“Buffy, what about this having ‘trap’ written all over it?” Willow asked desperately trying to keep Buffy here.

“I can handle it!” Buffy told her more forcefully.

“Damn it, Buffy, you can’t go off- . . .” Giles started.

Buffy interrupted him, “I /said/, I can handle it!  You stay here and be safe!”  Buffy then disappeared through the door, leaving four angry people.

“You’re not going to follow her?” Willow asked Xander who grinded his teeth together.

Xander shook his head, and said, “You heard her, she can handle herself.  Besides, I’d like to think I’m a little smarter than to walk straight into a trap.  I want to find out exactly what this ritual is and how to stop it before I just run off and hope for the best.”

*****

Buffy walked along the alley to the Bronze, and halted.  She quickly twisted around and looked at Angel.  “What are /you/ doing here!?” Buffy asked pissed off.

“Helping you.  You need someone to watch your back,” Angel answered her just a little nervously.

Buffy opened her mouth to talk, frowned, and then asked, “Were you /spying/ on us!?”

Angel looked down, moved his hands nervously and said, “I wouldn’t exactly call it- . . .”

“You were!” Buffy accused, growing even more angry.  “You were spying on us!  Do you get off on watching girls from the shadows!?”

“No!  That’s not it at all!  You can’t do everything alone!” Angel said ashamed at the accusation that was so close to Xander’s.  “I have no interest in you . . . anymore;  I realized that.  You vampire Slayer, I vampire, you sixteen, I two-hundred forty, you in the light, I on fire, it wouldn’t work, it’s unfair to you.”

Buffy smiled predatorily, circling Angel, who turned with her to keep his eyes on her. “Vampire, and vampire slayer is right.  Wanna fight?” she asked, grinning.

“Uh, what?” Angel asked confused.

“Oh, come on.  You must have wondered whether you could take me, like you said, vampire and vampire slayer.  Let’s see who’s stronger,” Buffy said with a grin.

“Buffy, I think Cordelia’s life is a little bit more important than which one of is better in a fist fight, don’t you think so too?” Angel asked. Buffy eyed him, eyes darkening with anger. Then they cleared and she straightened up, walking passed him toward the Bronze entrance, growling internally.

Vampire and Slayer carefully entered the empty night club.  They looked around, and up, trying to see where the traps lay.  Finally they noticed a girl with long dark brown hair, she was whimpering.  At first glance it looked like Cordelia and Buffy got more careful, Angel looked around.  “Apart from her, I don’t hear or smell anyone,” Angel said slowly then focusing on the girl’s smell, his eyes widening.

He didn’t need to say, Buffy already knew, Cordelia might be screaming profanities, tears might even come from her eyes, she might even cry from pain, and cry for help, but she was far too proud to whimper.  “That’s not Cordelia!” Buffy said with a little shock.

The girl turned her head, revealing her vamped out face, “That’s right, I’m not Cordelia, and you will /never/ find her.”

Buffy half ran over to the now laughing vampiress, and pulled her to her feet by her collar. “Where is she!?” Buffy yelled at the vampire as Angel closed.

The vampiress laughed, and said, “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine, until we bring the Master back, and he will tear you limb from limb.”

Buffy took it in, and Angel’s earlier comment that no one else was present and her eyes widened.  She tossed the vampiress to Angel, and said, “Keep her alive and secured.”  Buffy then ran off, and Angel called after her.

*****

Giles made a triumphant sound, and said, “Here, the Latin was translated wrong from the Sumerian.  It says ‘nearest’ which was translated to closest, ‘nearest’ as in the people physically closest to the Master when he died!”

“What!?” Xander said and took in Giles, Jenny and Willow, and they realized the same thing.  “This is a trap, just not for Buffy, let’s get out of here!”  Windows shattered, and the doors to the library flung open.  “Shit,” Xander said, pulling a stake.

*****

Buffy ran, practically bashing the library doors open, and she slowed down as she looked at the carnage.  Tables were turned, broken chairs lay everywhere, parts of the railing were broken, and there was dust everywhere.  She carefully looked around, walking further into the library, shocked.  She had failed, because of her hotheadedness her friends were taken or dead. There was a roar and a crash, making Buffy turned around, just seeing a banged up Xander finish smashing his fist through a table, wood splintering and flying around.  “Xander,” she said, being a tiny bit relieved, if he was still alive . . .

Xander took Buffy in, and said, “Buffy.”  He took several steps forward, looked at her angry, and told her, “I got twelve, Giles two, Willow and Jenny one.  I was trying to keep one from taking Willow away when at least three attacked me in the back, for you see, there were at least twenty-five and no one to watch my back.”  Buffy stayed silent, and looked at him, guilt in her eyes.  Xander continued, “If you were here, if you had stayed just a bit longer . . .”  Buffy turned her head away, feeling guilt racing through her mind.

“We need to find them.”  Xander and Buffy looked up, seeing Angel standing in the doorway.

“Buffy,” Xander said, demand in his voice.  Buffy turned around to look at him.  Xander took a step forward and grabbed her forcefully by the collar of her leather jacket.  “Whatever they do to Willow, I will do to you.”  Buffy flinched at the cold fury in Xander’s face, and he let her go.  “So, fearless leader, what do you think we should do now?” Xander asked with a mocking tone.

She whipped her head around, and asked Angel, “You kept her alive right?”  Angel nodded.

*****

The vampiress was tied to the pool table in the bronze, and laughed at Buffy’s order to tell where the vampires were.  “What are you going to do?  Kill me?”

“Yes,” Buffy said with an evil smile.  She pulled her necklace with the cross from her neck, and then grabbed the vampiress’ mouth and forced it open, dangling the cross above it.  The vampire’s eyes widened in shock.

“Uh, uh,” Xander said, grinning widely, walking next to Buffy and leaning on the long side of the pool table.  Buffy looked up confused, and the vampire relieved.  “Choose something she doesn’t need to talk, just in case you damage it.”  Buffy grinned, and the vampiress’ eyes widened again: perfect target.  Buffy placed the lower end of the cross directly on the eyeball, immediately producing smoke and a sizzling sound.

“What you should be worried about though,” Buffy said continuing to grin, as the vampiress screamed and screamed out in pain.  “Is the way we’ll spend the time until then.”  Buffy pulled the cross from the vampiress’ eyes, whose one good eye still looked up in shock.  “Get it?  I’m thinking I’ll find out first if dying lessens the sensitivity in your clit.”

“I hear the soles of the feet are particularly sensitive as well,” Xander offered, his arms leaning folded on the pool table.

*****

Xander, Angel and Buffy looked at the scene in the rundown factory.  The Master’s bones lay on a stone table, and Giles, Jenny, Cordelia and Willow were hung over it, heads and arms down.  “You’re going to be sorry,” Willow whimpered looking around the room and the vampires, “Buffy will come for you!”

“If we want to get them out of safety without them becoming targets, we need a diversion,” Angel said, pointing at the heightened platform from which they could pull the sacrifices to safety.

“For once I agree with you, vampire,” Xander said bitterly, overseeing the battle field.

“You go save them, I’ll provide the diversion,” Buffy stated resolutely, eyes shining with bloodlust.

“What are you going to do?” Xander asked her.

Buffy smiled, and said, “I’m gonna kill them all, that should divert them enough.”  Then she went for the quickest way down.  Xander and Angel gave each other a look, and then they snuck over to where Angel had pointed earlier.

A black vampire was making a grand old speech, and then more vampires stood around the stone altar, and started chanting.  With a loud groan a vampire staggered into the circle, and dusted a moment later.  The stake embedded into him then dropped to the floor.  Buffy walked into the room, and said, “Hi, is this a private party, or can anyone join?”

“You have nerve Slayer, kill her!” the black vampire snarled, and several vampires went to attack Buffy.

“Buffy!” Giles exclaimed with a little relief.

“I told you!  I told you, didn’t I!” Willow exclaimed as she watched Buffy kick a vampire halfway around the room, and dust another one with her second stake.

Xander and Angel had reached the platform in the meantime and pulled the sacrifices to safety, after which they tied them loose.  Buffy at the same time broke a vampire’s arm, and dusted another one.  She jumped over the altar and kicked a vampire back.  The vampire staggered back until she crashed into a wooden spike.  She looked shocked at the protruding point, and then burst into dust.  Another vampire attacked Buffy, and he hit her with a kick. She staggered back, dropping her stake and it rolled underneath something and out of range.

Xander and Angel watched it happen, and gave each other a look, then both jumped down, leaving the four untied sacrifices safely up on the platform.  Willow looked over the railing and saw how Buffy grabbed the vampire that had kicked her.  She punched and punched and kicked it over and over, not stopping with hurting it until quite some time and threw it away. Angel was there, and dusted the vamp, while Buffy was already pummeling the next one. Seeing the vampire numbers diminished, especially after Xander and Angel both staked another vampire, Willow quickly went down the stairs, joining Xander.  “What’s she doing?” Willow wondered, watching how Buffy did anything but a quick kill she usually did.

“Working out her issues,” Xander said coolly.

Buffy threw the vampire whose ass she had thoroughly kicked over to Xander, who easily staked the already half-dead vampire.

“That’s it!” the black vampire of earlier roared, coming out of a side room, holding a sledgehammer.  “You’ve interfered in our plans long enough!  You will die, Slayer!”

Buffy looked at him, and looked to her other side, where a vampire she had beaten earlier had scampered to its feet and was ready to attack.  She also saw Angel who was on that side of the building was too far away to stop it, and then both vampires charged.  Buffy noticed a wooden torch that was one of six that were standing against the altar.  She grabbed the long torch and twisted it around, ramming the non-burning end in the onrushing vampire to her left, and then used the torch end to put the black vampire on fire.  The black vampire screamed in pain as the flames licked his body, until his body was consumed and the hammer fell to the floor.

“It’s over,” Willow said in relief looking around and finding no more vampires.

“Not yet,” Xander said as he watched Buffy pick up the sledgehammer.  Behind Xander and Willow, Cordelia, Giles and Jenny arrived.

Buffy held the hammer out and watched the massive thing for a moment.  Then with a roar of release crushed the Master’s skull.  She swung again crushing the neck and collar bones, then again to crush the chest.  She went on until there was no skeleton left, only pulverized bones and a few pieces.  Buffy let the hammer drop, and looked dazedly around as tears started to form in her eyes and she broke down crying.  Angel watched her, hesitated for a moment, and then turned around walked out of the factory.

“Now it’s over, and Giles, you should have done that from the start,” Xander said, and pulled Willow along, walking to the crying, desolate Buffy.

“Yes, well . . .” Giles muttered in answer, resetting his glasses.

Willow enveloped Buffy in a hug, and Xander wrapped both of them in his.  Buffy let her head land against his chest as she cried harder, and Willow put her cheek against Buffy’s.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Buffy whimpered with shame over how she had acted.

*****

Half an hour later a small boy crept out of a hiding place and took in the pulverized bones.  “I hate that girl,” he muttered sadly.

*****

Giles and Buffy carefully walked across the school lawn.  “Giles?  How can I face them?  I almost got Willow killed on the second day of school, and Xander is seriously pissed with me because of that.  I wonder if he’s going to hang me upside down somewhere,” Buffy said, muttering out the last part.

“Hmm?  Well, Buffy, don’t worry, they’re your friends.  Besides you will mess up much worse than you did yesterday in the future, so . . . that sounded better in theory,” Giles said taking a bite from his apple while he had Buffy frowning at him.

“I’m horrible,” Buffy muttered.

“Just get to class, and let them make that judgement for you,” Giles said and gave Buffy a gentle push toward the entrance.  Buffy sighed, then bit her lip.  She sighed again, and resigned herself to her fate.

A few moments later she nervously stepped into the classroom and sat down at a desk in front of Willow.  Xander sat next to Willow, diagonally right behind Buffy.  “So, Buffy, sleep well last night?” Willow asked.

Buffy turned around, and Xander added, “Because if you did, we were thinking about taking in a movie tonight, and we wouldn’t want to intrude on your catch-up sleep.”  Buffy looked at them, and then smiled.  “Don’t take this the wrong way, Buffy,” Xander said quickly, his smile gone, “we forgive you this time, but you ever go on an ‘all high and mighty’ tour again, saying we’re useless, I’ll kick your ass all the way to LA and back.”

Buffy nodded, “Got it, Xand.  You two are my friends, and you’re never useless.”  Xander nodded satisfactorily, and Willow smiled wider.

*****

At lunch break the three friends were walking to the lunchroom, when Xander looking at his watch said, “I gotta go guys, I’ve got to get to job interview.”

“A job interview?” Willow asked astonished.

“Yeah, living in your own apartment and having a second mouth to feed is seriously bad for the wallet.  I need to get a part time job, that fills in the gaps.  So, see you later, ok?” Xander greeted them.  Xander of course had gotten his job before today, but it was a good excuse.

“See you later, Xander,” Buffy greeted back, relieved, and feeling much less paranoid.

“Yeah, hurry back soon,” Willow said, and then both of them watched Xander as he walked away, taking in his backside.  “Hmm,” Willow said with a smile.

“Stop ogling our best friend, Will,” Buffy admonished Willow with a big smile on her face.

“Only if you stop first,” Willow returned, making Buffy give Willow her best ‘who me?’ look.  “Don’t play the innocent with me, Buffy Summers, I’m not blind you know.”  Buffy tried to come up with an answer.

“Hey, guys!” a familiar female voice called.  They turned around and saw Lexa coming closer.   “How are you guys doing?  Xander told me about the whole eek, business,” the hot brunette said with a smile.

“We’re okay, right Buffy?  We’re okay,” Willow answered nervously, remembering the sexy dance of a day before that, and getting worked up.

“We’re okay,” Buffy confirmed thinking, *Thanks for saving my butt, Lexa.*

“Well, good, if you need a nice, soft cushion to cry on, my breasts are at your service,” Lexa said with a grin, groping her own breasts for a moment.  Willow looked shocked, and Buffy just annoyed.  “Just kidding, but if I can do anything to help, I’m there for my new and my cousin’s old friends,” she told them smiling.  The three girls started walking again, and Lexa asked, “Have you guys figured out yet what the chicken is made of?”

“Nope,” Buffy answered with a smile, “but whatever it is, it isn’t chicken.”

“Yeah, I’m afraid to put it under a microscope,” Willow added, hugging a few books and some notebooks to her chest.

“I figured as much, remind me not to take more of it,” Lexa commented with a face full of distaste.

“Will do,” Buffy said with a smile, happy that things worked out, not noticing Lexa hanging back just a little.  The brunette suddenly opened a janitorial closet, and pulled out a long chain.  Instantly she ducked and slit a large pre-made loop underneath Buffy’s right foot, who stepped in it, and looked down surprised a the rattling sound.  Her left foot almost automatically moved forward, and right on time - before Buffy could get over her puzzlement - Lexa yanked the loop up, capturing both of Buffy’s feet, and then pulled forward closing the loop.  “Hey!” Buffy exclaimed, as Lexa already moved forward holding the other end in hand, and threw it over an overhead beam.  She grabbed the chain again and ran in the opposite direction.  “Whoa!  Hey!” Buffy screamed in shock as she felt herself being lifted off the ground and twisted upside down.  “What are you doing!?”

Lexa grinned and tied the chain around a heating element.  Then walked to the dangling Buffy and pulled out a short chain.  With Buffy still in a state of shock, she wrapped the shorter chain around Buffy’s wrists and around Buffy’s hands - which she placed flat against each other - and tied it shut.  There Buffy hung, her face about one sixty centimeters above the ground, looking around in complete shock.  “What!?  What!?” Buffy muttered, slowly starting to understand.

“Sorry, Buffy, but when Xander asks something of me, seeing as he saved me from his father, I have to do it,” Lexa said with a huge grin, and Willow next to her smiled too.  “Oh, before I forget; Xander wanted me to give you a message: ‘Sorry, Buff, but I’m a man of my word.’  I hope it means something to you, because to /me/ it certainly doesn’t.”

Buffy blinked several times, and wiggled, and that’s about all she could do, making her swing back and forth more.  “Okay, funny, now untie me!” Buffy said in a growing panic, starting to get embarrassed.  Lexa shook her head.  “Willow!” Buffy pleaded.

“Sorry, Buffy, but I got hung upside down because you failed to do something, now you get to hang upside down because /I/ fail to do something.  It’s only fair,” Willow told with a wide smile to the wiggling and swinging Buffy who looked incredulously at her insecure friend usually always there for her.  “It took some time convincing me, Buffy, but Xander’s right, you need punishment, and once I was convinced, I realized this isn’t quite /my/ punishment, just Xander’s.”

“Huh?  What?” Buffy asked, and looked with confusion as Willow pulled out lipstick and turned it out: bright red.  “Hey!  What are you doing!?  Willow!”

“Now, Buffy,” Willow admonished as she took a resolute step forward, “Unless you want to look like a smeared-out prostitute, I suggest you hold still.”

Willow dipped down, and while smiling, calmly brought the lipstick to Buffy’s lips. “Willow, you can’t be serious!  Stop this!  Let me go!” Buffy said with mortification.  When the Slayer saw that Willow casually continued to move the lipstick forward, she chose to play it safe and open her mouth a little holding still.  She felt Lexa grab her body to keep her completely still, and a moment later felt the lipstick being thickly applied.

 After a few moments Willow straightened back up, and made a rolling gesture with her lips to Buffy.  Resigning, Buffy did just that and then Willow brought a handkerchief and held it between Buffy’s lips, who tapped the fabric a few times.  Willow stood back up straight again, and grinned, saying, “Perfect for kissing.”  Buffy looked confused.  “Now the finishing touch,” Willow said and pulled a piece of paper from one of her notebooks, and then planted it on Buffy’s chest.  As Buffy pulled her torso so she could read what was on the paper Willow picked her pile of books back up.

“‘Kiss me’?” Buffy read astonished.

“Have fun, Buff,” Lexa said with a big grin.

“Yeah, lots,” Willow said and then the two wrapped arms around their waists, and walked away, giggling like little girls.

“Hey!  You can’t let me hang here!  Willow!  Lexa!  I get it already, I was really bad! Guys?” Buffy yelled out after them, as she looked around wiggling again, making her swing, she just caught Lexa give her a wave, and then Buffy slowly became aware of the slowly growing crowd of smiling students around her.  “Hey, one of you tie me loose will ya? Hello?”  Buffy was blushing brightly with shame now, as well as the blood rushing to her head in her upside down position.  “Come on?”

“No way,” one guy said with a huge grin.  “This is way too much fun.  Besides, I’m never going to get between someone’s payback.”

Buffy glared at him and he took a step back.  “God, what a pathetic loser,” a hated familiar voice said, and Buffy saw Cordelia come out of the crowd.  “Look at you, hung out to dry by your own geek friends, all mounted up for kissing and still no guy wants to kiss you.”

“Cordelia!  Get me down from here, please!” Buffy pleaded desperately.

Cordelia sighed theatrically, and then said a drawn out, “Fine.”  Everyone in the growing crowd of laughing students stopped laughing and looked astonished at the queen bitch. “Don’t let it ever be said I don’t have heart!” Cordelia proclaimed loudly and moved toward Buffy, who smiled in relief.  Just before the Queen of Sunnydale High reached Buffy a theatrical frown played across her features and then she looked down at Buffy’s face and said, “Wait, didn’t you call me ‘moron’?”

“I’m really, really, really sorry!” Buffy tried desperately, getting woozy from the swinging back and forth.

“So am I, you just shouldn’t have said that,” Cordelia said and then turned and walked away, snickering.  The crowd of watchers started laughing again to Buffy’s grater shame.

Another girl freed herself from the crowd, and Buffy looked with fear at the blonde.  There was absolutely no connection with her she could hope fore.  “Look at that.  Buffy Summers strung up like a . . . a . . . whatever,” Harmony said, making Buffy groan.  “Now, what could I do?” Harmony said, tapping her chin.

“Harmony,” Buffy whimpered trying for a warning tone.

“I know!” the blonde said, and casually pushed the Slayer making her swing back and forth wilder.

“Aargh!” Buffy screamed out and Harmony laughed walking away.

“I gotta get me some of this,” an unfamiliar voice said.  She felt herself being steadied and looked into a boy’s face filled with pimples that had to be at least a year younger than her.

*Oh, no!* she thought in horror.  The boy grinned wildly, and then dipped down, landing a big smacker on her lips, which she desperately kept closed.  “MMMmmhh!!” Buffy moaned out in disgust.

The boy straightened up as Buffy spit out, and he said grinning widely, “Wow.”  He then pushed her, leaving her to swing around again, and he left.

*XANDER HARRIS!!  I’M GOING TO GET YOU FOR THIS!!* Buffy screamed out in her mind under more laughter from the crowd of students.

~~~~5~~~~

Buffy swung back and forth on the chain, grumbling unintelligible expletives.  Everyone had left her already, the novelty gone.

“Had fun?” a familiar voice asked.

Buffy opened her eyes, and saw Xander casually leaning against a wall.  She growled, “Xander Harris, wipe that smile of your face, and GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!!”

“Perhaps you haven’t hung there long enough?” Xander wondered, unable to take the huge grin off his face.

Buffy growled and then composed herself.  “Xander, would you please let me down?”

“Sure,” he said, and walked over to where the chain was attached.  “You know I really like the bright red lips.”  Buffy growled.  “No, I mean it, it looks really good on you.  But I hope you do understand why I /had/ to do this apart from keeping my word.  I want you to understand this Buffy,” Xander said, finished untying the chains and slowly lowering Buffy to the floor.  Xander started untying her ankles as he continued, “just because you’re the Slayer, and you’re given some extra strength and speed and healing, doesn’t mean you’re superior to the rest of us.  We’re not going to go ‘All hail, Buffy’ because of that.  We’re your friends, not your pets, and that means we tell you the truth no matter how harsh it is, and we deserve to be treated with respect, got that?”

“Got it,” Buffy said, as Xander finished untying her hands.  She pulled the note off her chest, and crumpled it angrily.  She looked up and said, “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to pay you back!”  She readied a fist.

Xander backed away, waved his hands and said, “Hey, just normal guy here, you have super powers.  You can’t hit me.”

Buffy looked at him for a moment, and then her eyes narrowed saying, “You kicked my butt, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Xander said, and then smiled nervously.  With roar Buffy threw the punch and Xander twisted aside.  “You’ll have to catch me first though,” he said and ran away.

“AAH!” Buffy screamed and ran after him.  “Get back here, Xander Harris!!”

“Oooh, I’m so scared!” Xander yelled looking backward.  He rounded a corner, and disappeared into the girls’ bathroom.

Buffy blasted past the door and looked around.  Four stalls, but no Xander.  She quickly ducked and looked underneath the stalls, only two pairs of feet, both women judging from the shoes.  Buffy opened the first door: nobody.  Quickly she went to the last stall, which had two feed.  She jumped, grabbed the top of the door and pulled herself up, looking down into it. “AAH!  What the hell are you doing!  Lesbian pervert!” a girl screamed.

“Sorry, sorry!  Just looking for a guy!” Buffy apologized letting herself drop.

“TRY THE MEN’S BATHROOM!!!” the girl screeched.

“/Sorry/!” Buffy exclaimed and then went to the third stall.  Rapidly she opened it: again nobody.  She backed away, looking at the remaining stall and wondering if she should.  She blinked as she heard the toilet being flushed.  Going into a battle stance she watched the door being opened . . . and out came Lexa.

“Buffy,” she greeted.  “I thought I recognized a voice.  Xander let you down, huh?”

Buffy narrowed her eyes at Lexa, and quickly jumped past her, threw the door wide open and looked inside: nobody.  “What are you doing?” Lexa asked confused.

Buffy twisted around, face grimaced in anger, and she hissed, “Payback!  Where is he!? You’re his cousin, you helped him get away!”

“I did no such thing, but if Xander went in here, the only way out is through the window,” Lexa said calmly, pointing at said window.

“DAMN!” Buffy exclaimed, and went to the window.  She opened it, and then jumped through.  After some wiggling she passed through, completely missing the fact that Xander couldn’t possibly fit through the window and then looked around.  Left or right?  Finally she decided on right and ran, yelling, “XANDER!  No sense hiding!”

Lexa smiled, turned on the hot water faucet, and went back into the stall.  A few moments later she came back out in men’s closing.  She watched the girl from the fourth stall finish cleaning her hands and walk away.  Lexa splashed some of the hot water on her face, and Xander looked in the mirror with a big grin, “Way too easy.”  He then casually walked out the bathroom.

He walked aimlessly, calculated how much time he still had left before lunch break was over, and wondered if he should cut class.  Finally he decided to go look up Willow, and see if she could appeal to his conscience.  “XANDER!” he heard a scream.

“Ah, shit,” Xander said and ran away again, Buffy hot on his tail.  “If it works once,” he murmured with a grin.  He made several twists and turns, and ran up some stairs to the second floor.

Buffy was saw Xander go up the stairs, and she followed him moments later.  The stairs went up to halfway, there was a platform, and then the stairs went up the other way to the next floor.  Buffy rounded the flat corner and then bounded up the stairs, only to bump into Lexa. This time Xander had no time to change clothing, so she was still in jeans and top.  Her breasts were too big for the tight fitting male top, so her upper buttons were open showing off her cleavage.  She looked with large, clueless eyes at the Slayer.  “Where did he go?!  Where did he go!?” Buffy asked rapidly, running in place, looking left and right down the corridor and forward into another.

“Uh, someone ran that way,” Lexa pointed to Buffy’s left, behind her.  “But he was too fast to tell if it was Xander.”

“Thanks!” Buffy said and ran off after Xander.

Lexa grinned and disappeared back into the janitorial closet.  A moment later Xander came back out.  “I said it before, and I say it again: way too easy,” he said with another big grin and casually went back down the stairs.

Buffy reached the end of the corridor, and looked at another pair of stairs.  Up to the third floor, or down.  Down.  She ran down the stairs and wondered how the hell Xander had managed to give her the slip - again!  “Xander, you little,” Buffy hissed, determined to hang him upside down as well, or some other creative payback.

Once downstairs she looked around.  What way now?  With a grunt she just picked and ran, looking around startled looking students, and dismissing them when they weren’t Xander. After a few moments of running at top speed she slowed down, and asked one student she knew was in their class, “Have you seen, Xander?”

“Uh, yeah, he was just that away,” he said, pointing down the corridor toward the lunch room.  With growl Buffy sped off again, and yep, soon she saw him walking there, talking to a girl.  At the last minute he noticed the speeding along bull, and bolted.  Buffy ran after him, slowly catching up.  Oh, this time he was /not/ getting away.  Xander went around a corner and so went she: no Xander.  “What?  How does he keep doing this!?” Buffy hissed out in frustration, looking around.

A door opened and Lexa stepped out.  She looked over, and seemed surprised to see Buffy. “Oh, Buffy, you again,” she said.

“Where’s Xander!?  Where is he!?” Buffy hissed out at her.

Lexa pointed down the hall, and said, “Second classroom.”

Buffy nodded, thinking, *Right!*  She took several steps, reaching Lexa, and stopped.  She turned right, so she was facing the raven-haired girl, and narrowed her yes at her.  Lexa seemed startled.  “Lexa,” Buffy said slowly, dangerously.  “Three times Xander gave me the slip, three times you’re there, you’re helping him.”

“No, I’m not,” Lexa said, shaking her head.

“And /you/ are the one who did the actually hanging upside down of me,” Buffy said slowly, smiling she could get payback.  Lexa swallowed visibly.  “RAAH!” Buffy screamed throwing the punch.  Lexa jumped, flipped over Buffy with an impressive screw and landed behind the Slayer.  Buffy’s fist in the mean time collided with the wall instead of body.  Buffy looked shocked at the unharmed wall.  Buffy was angry, but she wouldn’t put someone in a hospital, so she had kept the power in her arm back.  She felt a tap on her shoulder, and she looked around.

A brightly smiling Lexa said, “You need anger management classes.”

“Manage this!” Buffy screamed and threw a punch.  Lexa grabbed the side of Buffy’s arm and twisted aside of the punch, pulling the Slayer along until she crashed into the wall.  She watched as Lexa then ran away.  She quickly ran after her, screaming, “LEXA!!  GET BACK HERE!!  I’M GONNA GET YOU TOO!!”

*Oh, man,* Xander thought looking back as Buffy came after her. *Then again, this could be fun.*  Grinning she ran out the school, jumped in a tree, ran to the edge of the branch and jumped smoothly up on top of the school.  Buffy came out of the school and just managed to see Lexa jump from the tree to the roof, and looked up at her.  Xander grinned from his position, and called, “Hey, Buffy!  You can’t get to me from there.”

Buffy grimaced, hesitating.  They would all see her do the amazing feet, then again the students had already seen Lexa do it.  “You think so, huh?!” Buffy yelled up and with a running start jumped into the tree, and from there to the roof.

Lexa swallowed at the grinning Buffy and then turned around and ran.  They jumped down the other side.

*****

Willow blinked.  She stood in front of the school and had watched the spectacle of Lexa jumping into tree, and from there to the roof, and then Buffy going after her.  “Whoa,” Willow muttered with revelation.  “Lexa is the girl that beat the six vampires.  Hmm.”

“XANDER!” Buffy’s scream was heard and Xander came running out the school followed by Buffy.  They quickly disappeared around the corner again.  Willow blinked, and then smiled.  “LEXA!” Buffy yelled, and from the same corner Lexa appeared, Buffy hot on her heals.  They disappeared back into the school.  Willow still smiled looking.  “XANDER!” Buffy’s scream sounded again, and Xander appeared from the other side of the building, Buffy right behind.  He went back into through the main entrance.  “LEXA!” Buffy’s yell sounded, and Lexa came from the other direction, once again disappearing into the building, Buffy behind her.  A few others looked mildly amused, but then went on with their business. Willow kept looking.  “XANDER!” Buffy screamed.  Willow looked up, following the yell and watched Xander appear on the roof.  He simply jumped down, and ran back into the school through the main entrance.  Buffy arrived right after him, jumping down as well.

“Something odd is going on,” Willow said with a frown, as Lexa with Buffy right after her came around the left corner.

“Exactly when /isn’t/ there something odd going on around here?” a bitchy voice asked. Willow looked to her left and saw Cordelia stand there with her arms folded across her ample chest.

“Xander!” Buffy’s voice sounded, running after Xander, who this time simply ran around the school instead of going back inside.

“Ok, something odd/er/ is going on,” Willow said, making Cordelia look at her.  Lexa came out the main entrance of the school, look left and right, then went left, Buffy right after her.  “I just can’t quite put my finger on what.”

Cordelia snorted, and said, “Well, bookworm, don’t you think you should break up your friends, they might /miss/ class, oh, the horror!  Whatever will we do then!?”  Cordelia then chuckled and walked to the school.

Willow watched her go, and then said softly, “Bitch.”  She was right though, and so Willow went into the school.  It didn’t take long before the shouts led her to Buffy and Xander standing across from each other.  “Too slow, huh, Buffy?” Xander asked with a smile.

Buffy growled, and looked around.  She saw a bucket standing their.  She rapidly went over and picked it up.  Then she threw it at Xander.  Xander’s eyes widened and twisted aside, but too slow.  The water splashed all over his arm.  Xander looked at his arm, and the smoke coming from the pool of /hot/ water - very /hot/ water.  “Yowch!!” Xander screamed out shaking his arm.  “Have you lost your mind, Buffy.  That could have really hurt me!”

Buffy was about to answer when a cleaning lady stepped in alarm out of the door next to which the bucket stood.  She took in the sight, and then she yelled, “VANDALS!  LOOK, AND I GET TO CLEAN IT UP NO DOUBT!”  Buffy and Xander looked in fear at the angry woman and quickly ran away.  A few turns later, the two leaned back against a wall, breathing hard.

“You two.”  Buffy and Xander looked up, and was relieved when they saw Willow stepping toward them smiling.  Buffy and Xander looked at each other then, and chuckled at the close call.  “Lunch break is over, we need to get to class,” Willow said with a smile.

Buffy’s smile broke into a grimace, and said, “I still haven’t . . .”

“Leave it be, Buffy.  You got what you deserved, and you know it,” Willow said walking closer to her friends.  “Besides, are you going to punch me out too for the lips?  You’d put me in a hospital.  So please just get over it, Buffy.”  Buffy looked down.  “Now come on, you guys.  You’re friends, apologize, hugs, and let’s go.”  Xander and Buffy looked at each other, and murmured an apology at each other.  “Hugs,” Willow said.  Xander and Buffy looked at Willow, then at each other, and then gave each other a hug.

“Hugs?”  Willow looked over and saw Cordelia.  The Queen bitch shook her head, and then told Willow, “You are such a loser, Rosenberg.  And you two even more for actually doing it.”  She then walked off, having three pairs of glaring eyes in her back.

“Why didn’t you hang her out to dry?” Buffy almost growled.

“I know, I’m really wondering what I was thinking,” Xander agreed with her.

*****

Willow and Buffy stood nervously in front of the door of Xander’s apartment.  They were invited, they had both bought a housewarming gift, and were now wondering what they’d find.  The building was tall, and multiple apartments were in it.  On one side it had a view of the beach that was only a throwing distance away.  Willow and Buffy were almost jealous thinking of the possibilities.  The pushed the button that read ‘A. L.  Harris’ and waited.

#I’m coming out to lead you in, hold on,# Xander’s voice came from a speaker.

A few moments later Xander’s frame appeared behind the glass in the door.  Another moment later the door opened, and Xander said, “Come in.”  The two girls did, entering the apartment complex.  “It’s this way,” Xander said with a smile, walking deeper into the building.  He moved around a corner toward the right, immediately there was another corner to the left.  There was a door to the right, and a door straight on, which was a door on the right side of the new corner to the left.  Xander walked straight forward and opened the door straight on.  Willow and Buffy looked at each other, remembering the outside of the building and making a quick imagination.  “Come on into the Harris Palace,” Xander said and beckoned them on.

Willow and Buffy entered, and Xander closed the door.  The girls looked around in amazement, and both sets of eyes immediately latched on the biggest feature.  “Oh, my!” Buffy exclaimed as both girls ran across the apartment to the glass door behind which was a balcony, and behind that the beach.  The turned around to look at Xander, who grinned. “Let’s start with the beginning, shall we?” he asked with a smile, and point to his left to the kitchen corner.  “The kitchen,” he announced, and Buffy and Willow looked at the beautiful kitchen, separated from the rest of the apartment by a quarter circle counter.  Xander walked past it to the corner, which was a bit deeper into the apartment.  He opened the door in it, and said, “Bathroom.”  Willow and Buffy came over to look, finding a rectangular room, which had a toilet and a shower, all tiled in blue.  Xander then walked over to the other side of the corner where there was another door and he opened it.  “The bedroom, where I will undoubtedly receive many lady friends,” Xander said with a grin.

“Xander,” Buffy admonished as both girls stepped inside to look around.  The door was in the corner, and the bedroom was rectangular going further to the right.  A double bed was in the middle, brown closet and night stand in the back.  A clothes rack was in the far left corner. A small tv was in the middle of the bed.

“What?  To have them pick what I wear of course,” he joked innocently, neither girl accepted that, and just frowned at him.  “Don’t believe me, then.,” he said, and lead them back out.  He walked along the wall, past a small cupboard, and opened a final door.  “And the final separate room: the gym,” Xander said with a smile, and the two girls walked inside.

Buffy’s eyes gleamed when she looked inside it; a sparring mat, several different weight-based, workout machines, and several training poles and similar equipment to what she had destroyed two days earlier.  Finally the room had different bladed weapons and other martial arts weapons hanging on the wall.  Willow just looked, Buffy’s expression fueled by Slayer instincts said, ‘He has his own piece of heaven.’

“All right, guys, finally the living room,” Xander said, presenting the living room.  Willow and Buffy had seen it already of course, but they had had more eyes for the balcony.  Willow and Buffy took in the chair, and two couches, all in dark-green leather.  The room had a light beige carpet.  A good size televison was on a standard with an old VCR underneath, and a low table in the middle.  An old radio was next to the tv, and further behind the far couch was a tall smaller eating table, surrounded by chairs.  “I’m saving up for a DVD player, I hear they’re supposed to be the next thing.”

“Damn cool, Xan,” Buffy said looking around.

“Yeah, I want to emancipate too.  Where does Lexa sleep?” Willow said looking around.

Xander turned to them and answered, “In a sleeping bag on a mattress we put away every morning, I’m still working on something better, she really should have her own bed.”

“Where is she anyway?” Buffy asked, walking over to the three-person couch and sat on it, testing it out.  It wasn’t new, she could tell that, but it was damn neat still.

“She met some hot girl this afternoon and went on a date with her, I doubt I’ll see her back before midnight,” Xander answered with a smile.

“Well, great, Xan, congratulations,” Willow said, shaking his head and giving him a hug. Then she handed her present over.  Buffy got up, congratulated and hugged him also and equally gave him her present.

 Xander placed the presents on the table and said, “Take a seat, and let me get you ladies something to drink first, then I’ll open the presents.”

Buffy and Willow agreed to that, both enjoying being called ‘ladies’, and sat down on the couch.  Willow ordered an orange juice, and Buffy cola.  Xander grinned and went to get their drinks for them.

~~~~6~~~~

Buffy and Willow walked over school grounds.  They needed to get to class, and Willow was deep in thought.  “Have you noticed something odd about Xander and Lexa?” she asked her blonde friend.

Buffy looked at her, and asked, “Apart from them being evil?”  Willow looked at the blonde who shrugged pitifully, saying, “You weren’t the one hanging from the ceiling.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Willow said, gathering her thoughts.  “Have you ever seen both of them together?”

“Plenty of times,” Buffy hissed in anger remembering her chase match where the two of them were playing her like a piano.

Willow shook her head, making an educated guess, and added, “No, in the exact same room, at the exact same time.  Have you ever seen Xander /and/ Lexa?  Talking to each other for example.”

Buffy frowned as she thought back.  “No, I don’t think I have.  Why?  You think they are one and the same or something?”

Willow shrugged, and said, “Well, Xander leaves, Lexa arrives.  Xander stays home, Lexa comes with us to the bronze.  We go over to their apartment and Lexa is out, and you chasing them yesterday, I not once saw either of them together.  Xander goes to China, gets especially trained by some super martial artists, and Lexa never having been there has the same strength and speed and skill as Xander.  I’m just saying . . .”

“But Willow, she’s a girl, he’s a guy, there’s no way he can be in disguise,” Buffy said in disbelief.  “This isn’t like Clark Kent putting on some glasses.  I can tell a guy in a dress from an actual girl, you know.”

“Yesterday they were wearing the same clothes,” Willow pointed out, making Buffy think back.  “And I wasn’t thinking disguise, more like some kind of magical illusion.  Glamour, didn’t Giles call it that?”

Buffy nodded, and then added, “But Lexa is a bit shorter than Xander.  I don’t think a glamour can do that, I thought Jenny muttered something about skintight overlay?  Besides, you were dancing with her, head against her if I remember correct; were her breasts non-existent?  Just light?  Or round fruits?”

Willow blushed, remembering resting her head against the very prominent fleshy cushions, and they were certainly no lemons or something like that.  “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Willow muttered looking down thinking, and then added, “Perhaps I should ask Giles or Jenny if it could be done.”

“You know, Willow, you’re paranoid, and /I’ve/ got more to fear from them.  You don’t think they’ll try to hang me upside down again, do you?” Buffy asked embarrassed when she remembered her time being strung up.

“Nah, payback delivered, apologies and hugs exchanged, no worries,” Willow told her friend.

*****

Willow was done with her computer class, but instead of leaving she went over to the desk and waited for the last student to leave the classroom before talking to Jenny.  “Uh, miss Calendar . . .” Willow started nervously.

Jenny looked up and said, “Willow, you can call me ‘Jenny’.”

“Uh, Jenny,” Willow said nervously, “You’re this Techno Pagan, right?  You know some stuff about magic?”

“Uh, yes, why do you ask?” Jenny asked.

Willow fidgeted and brought up her courage, then asked, “I wanted to know, is there a magic that would allow a boy to look and feel - to someone else - like a girl, and then switch back a moment later, and then switch again?”

Jenny regarded Willow for a few moments, contemplating, then asked, “Why?  Do /you/ want to do that?  Do you want to learn magic?”

“No-no-no-no,” Willow quickly answered, shaking her hands in innocence.  “I just suspect a guy I know from doing that; I just wanted to know if it was possible . . . And would you? Teach me that is?”  Willow added the latter in a little excited afterthought.

Jenny regarded Willow, and asked, “Feel?”

“Breasts,” Willow answered.

Jenny blinked at that and then thought, “Well, making an illusion so powerful you can feel it . . . I haven’t heard of such a thing, but I /do/ know that if it were possible it would mean serious, serious magic.  The kind requiring so much power and skill that takes years, if not decades to master.  So just a ‘guy’ going to school here wouldn’t be able to do something like that.”

“Oh,” Willow said a bit perturbed, guessing she was wrong about Xander and Lexa after all.

“As for teaching you magic, I don’t know, you’ve hacked your way into computers,” Jenny thought deeply.

Willow looked at Jenny with an embarrassed look, and said, “But you know, now that I think about it, it would be good to be able to set a gang member on PCP on fire from across a graveyard.”

Jenny nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Usually it takes quite a while before one has that kind of power and skill that the gang member is hit not the friends fighting him.”  Jenny sighed, and then added, “Willow, using magic is not a toy.  You are really overboard on your hacking for recreational purposes not for the greater good.  That would have to stop first, and I would have to teach you a great deal about the effects of magic, side effects of magic, what you can and can’t do with it.  This requires a huge amount of teaching on what people shouldn’t be doing with it.  I will have to teach you philosophies behind magic, the threefold rule.  This isn’t going to be easy.  Giles would have to agree on it.  And before I even consider teaching you actual magic you’ll have to prove to me you’ve learned how dangerous magic can be, and that you can’t just play with it.”

Willow nodded, and then said, “I’ll learn, I promise I won’t treat it as some ‘cool’ fashion statement or something.”

 Jenny nodded and then said, “Go on, I think your friends are waiting, I have to think about this.”  Willow nodded, eager for more knowledge and then left the room.

*****

Later that afternoon after school Xander, Willow and Buffy were in the library.  Buffy was going to train hard, with her determination to defeat Xander.  Xander was going to train with Willow, but first Xander decided it was time to show them their surprise.  He had already prepared two plastic water bottles, one filled with hot water the other with cold.  Giles was behind the counter sipping a tea readying himself for the training.

“Guys, before we go train very hard, the surprise has arrived,” Xander said with a huge grin.

“Really?  Really?  Really?” Willow jumped up in excitement, looking left and right, and then slumped.  “Where?”

“Here,” Xander said indicating the plastic bottles he put on the table.

Buffy and Willow looked at the water bottles and the water inside, and looked up at him. “Water?  Will this water keep our skins young, fresh and tight or something?” Buffy remarked in confusion.

“Surprise?  Miracle water?  What?” Cordelia’s voice sounded and she barged into the library.  They all looked at her.  “I heard you!  Where’s the miracle skin care?”  Everyone narrowed their eyes at her but Giles.  “Show me, damn it!”

“There’s no miracle skin care, Cordelia,” Xander said in irritation.

“I heard you!” Cordelia repeated coming down the few steps to the lower part of the library.

Xander grimaced.  “Nope!  Watch,” Xander said with a grin, turning back around to face Willow and Buffy.  He took the bottles, then walked away from them, behind the table and Giles started paying attention, intrigued.  Xander unscrewed the bottle revealing a squeeze trigger.   “Cold water,” Xander said, and squeezed the bottle spraying some water in his face. “Hi, guys!” Lexa waved with a huge grin, her breasts on display in the tight shirt.  Willow and Buffy’s eyes widened.  Cordelia’s jaw dropped.  Giles sputtered, dropped his cup of tea, and then it shattered on the ground.  “Warm water!” Lexa said, and splashed that in her face.  She grew a bit, and became male.  “Yo, I’m back!” Xander said with a huge grin at the shocked girls.  “Cold water,” Xander said again, showing Lexa.  “Warm water,” and Xander was back once again.

Everyone looked at him silently, until Willow regained her wits first.  “I /knew/ it!” she yelled in triumph.  “Didn’t I tell you!  Didn’t I tell you, Buffy!?”  Buffy nodded with her jaw still dropped.

Cordelia boiled on the inside.  Not only had ‘loser’ Xander gotten a sudden hotness upgrade, that annoyed her to no end, for since when did a prom queen consider a geek ‘hot’, but the little bastard was also the girl that had been making her life miserable for the past few days. Everywhere she went it was ‘Lexa this,’ and ‘Lexa that.’

Buffy exploded first.  “YOU BASTARD!” she screamed jumping forward intending to clog Xander one, but he bent back and she missed.

“Hey!  What the hell was that for?” Xander said in shock, avoiding another blow.

“Uhm, watch the books!” Giles said as she watched Buffy trying to hit Xander who had now jumped up on top of the railing very close to the precious books.

“You bastard!  You spied on us!  I can’t come, but Lexa can, ‘all girls night out’!  AAH!!” Buffy screamed out in rage and frustration, still not able to land a hit on Xander who kept deftly avoiding her hits.  By now they had made a full circle with the others watching.  “You had us tell you which guys we thought was hot, you, you . . .”  Buffy paused for a moment as she felt suddenly very embarrassed about basically telling Xander she thought he was pretty hot.  That boosted her rage onward and she swung fists again, that Xander either avoided or pushed them aside.  Xander blocked a punch, making him squeeze the bottle a bit, and cold water splashed in Buffy’s face.  Her eyes flashed in rage fighting onward.

“Buffy, please!  It wasn’t like that!  I just wanted to know what an actual all girls night out is like.  It wasn’t for spying, I’m one half girl, I just wanted to enjoy girls amongst each other without whole ‘he’s a guy’ awkwardness,” Xander tried to desperately explain to the super powered girl that had completely lost it.  “Willow, help?”

“Willow, don’t listen to him!  He weaseled out of you you’ve got a crush on him, making you look like a fool!  He needs to pay, help me out, together we can get him!” Buffy screamed, making Willow look shocked.

Giles’ eyes widened, just as the library doors opened admitting Jenny Calendar who looked surprised at the scene and from Willow to Xander.  Cordelia also looked at Willow.  The redhead shrank in on herself, with all the eyes on her, and the look in Cordelia’s eyes that couldn’t bode well.

“Oh, real smart, Buf.  Who’s the one making her look like a fool, huh?  Maybe you should have gotten a megaphone to be certain /Europe/ heard you,” Xander remarked sarcastically to a momentarily paused Slayer who slowly realized her goof, which of course only got her more angry and started up again.

As the Slayer and the cursed boy continued their dance of violence, Willow looked down at the ground blushing, feeling ashamed of herself, she could already hear Cordelia’s biting remark, ‘Such a loser, can’t even make a fellow geek interested in her’, or some such.  It was all Xander’s fault, and Buffy’s just now, but if Xander hadn’t played them as Lexa . . . Lexa . . . Willow blinked, remembering pressing against the sexy body of Xander’s girl form, remembering how he got her to dance, have guys dance around her.  Buffy’s compliment after that, and how that and Xander’s further encouraging got her to actually stand up for herself and give Buffy a little bit of well deserved payback for being such a bitch the day earlier. “BUFFY, STOP IT!” she suddenly screamed, fed up.

Buffy paused, “But . . .”

“Xander Harris, you better explain yourself this very instant, or I’ll swear to god, you’ll get a payback that won’t end till the fourth millennium,” Willow snarled, slowing the whole library down.

Xander carefully got off of the railing he had found himself on, warily eyeing Buffy.  “Ok, how to explain this,” Xander muttered, wondering why nobody had asked yet how he got this.

“Star at the beginning, most notably how you got this . . . condition?” Giles suggested highly intrigued.

“What condition?” Jenny asked confused.

“This,” Cordelia muttered grabbing the bottle in Xander’s hands since he was close by and sprayed him with cold water.

“Hi!” Lexa greeted Jenny Calender in a very girly matter.

“Is that an illusion?” Jenny asked remembering the conversation with Willow.

Xander shook his head while grinning sheepishly, and said, “I’m a girl, one hundred percent.”  Jenny looked astounded.

“Warm water changes him back,” Buffy muttered gruffly folding her arms across her chest and eyeing Xander with cold anger.

“Like so,” Lexa said, spraying herself with hot water.  A few moments later she was Xander again.

Everyone looked expectantly at Xander, and he started talking, “Ok, beginning.  You guys know how I got sold to the Chinese mob to be a sex slave, right?  Right.  Anyway I escaped, and fled as best as I could.  Eventually I came across . . .

~~O~~

Xander ran across the grass, breathing heavily.  Gunshots went off, and dirt and grass were sent upward whenever a bullet struck the ground nearby him.  The satin male sex slave outfit he wore was built to show off his body, but not build to run in, making this even more difficult. He stumbled halfway the small incline, but managed to keep going.  Fear and his heartbeat rang in his ears along with the grunts of the mob men chasing him.  His eyes widened, for there he saw the greatest sight he could ever have hoped for, providing of course they didn’t belong to the mob either.  One boy his age, and an older man, both were wearing a white gi and were high in the air.  They met and exchanged blows, and the man went down. Xander reached the top of the incline, after which it went almost straight down.  Right at the end of the decline a pond was visible.  There were more ponds, small pieces of ground in between.  Sticks, seemingly of bamboo or a similar large sturdy grass were spread around the field with ponds and springs.  There was a third pudgy man in some kind of uniform speaking Chinese.

The relief that there were people that might be able to help him, did by no means limit the fear that these people might simply get shot.  It did however make him miss a rather, good-sized rock, and he hooked his right foot behind it.  Xander’s eyes widened and he keeled over, rolling down the decline, making him miss the panda jumping from the pool the older man had just fallen into.  The panda landed on one of the grass sticks with one foot, as the boy was standing on one equally.  “What’s going on!?” the boy yelled in Japanese when he saw the panda.  The guide explained, much to the boy’s shock.

The panda grunted and jumped.  The boy jumped too, but still too startled he was unable to properly block or parry the panda’s strikes and so he was sent flying to another pool, at the far edge in the corder of the field of springs.  The boy smashed into it as the guide yelled warnings in Japanese, and only then noticing the other figure rolling down the decline just by the same pool.  “Oh, no!  Not you too!  Hold!” the guide yelled in further Japanese, but Xander was too tired, rolling too fast, and unable to understand Japanese to do anything about it.  A moment after the first boy splashed into the spring, Xander splashed into the same.

The guide came over and tried to explain as a redheaded girl in a gi rose from the water, but before he could speak a girl Xander appeared from the water and screamed desperately, pointing up to the decline he came rolling down from, “Mob!  Me sex slave!  HELP!!”

The panda let out a grumble and looked over, the redhead too.  The guide looked shock for a moment and then looked up too as the first three of ten men appeared at the top, guns in hand. They spoke in Chinese, “Where did he go!?”

Xander couldn’t understand him, nor could he understand the Panda’s grunts or the boy’s Japanese exclaim, “You bastards dare defile such a beautiful girl!  You will pay!”  The panda’s grunts had actually a similar meaning.  The panda and boy jumped, up and up easily landing on the rather tall incline with one bound, startling the mob thugs.

“Whoa, just like Buffy,” Xander muttered in surprise.  The panda bashed aside one mob guy, and twisted the barrel of the other’s gun, after which he bashed that one as well.  More mob guys showed up as the boy now girl bashed aside one of his own opponents, and kicked another meters away groaning in pain.  The boy then twisted a gun arm of another mob guy and snapped it over his shoulder, making the thug scream in pain.  The fight was over not much later, having ten mob guys lying unconscious in multiple places, one of them floating around in a pond as a turtle.

Ranma - the redhead girl, once boy - came down the incline, the panda following him. “Hello, gull, you allight?” she asked looking at Xander.

“What!?” Xander exclaimed in anger pulling himself out of the water.  “You dare call me a girly man!?  I have you know was outnumbered ten to one and they had guns, and that’s not counting the rest of them!”

“Gulls!  Save the lives, and they shout at you!  Unglateful,” Ranma complained, the panda nodded and made a agreeing sound.

“TAKE BACK ME BEING WIMP, OR ELSE, BITCH!!” Xander screamed in extreme anger.

“You question my manhood!?” Ranma raged right back, the two girls about ready to fight each other.

“No, no!  Not understand!” the guide interrupted the two waving his hands frantically, then pointed at the pond they had fallen into.  “Is Cursed Spring of Drowned Girl!  Tragic tale of girl that drowned their fifteen-hundred years ago!  Now all who fall in become a girl!”

Xander and Ranma took in the guide’s frantic words, frowned, looked back at each other, and then looked down.  Both had bulges where their shouldn’t be any.  Both their eyes widened and grabbed the sides of their tops, and pulled them open, seeing breasts. “AAAAAAHHH!!” both of them screamed out in shock.

~~O~~

“‘With their “bear” hands,’” Willow recited a sentence from Xander’s first letter.  “That was a pun, not a spelling mistake.”  Xander grinned, nodding at Willow.

“The Cursed Springs of Jusenkyo,” Giles said in revelation.  “I knew ‘Jusenkyo’ sounded familiar.  They are quite famous amongst the paranormal circles, I never looked into them though.”

“So then what?” Buffy said suspiciously.

“Well, then we called the cops, but the place was primitive, Jusenkyo was in the middle of nowhere, no hardened roads.  So they couldn’t send a vehicle, and Genma - Ranma’s father - offered take me back to Hong Kong.  Somewhere along the line they decided they should train me, and they found I was really good at it,” Xander explained, remembering.  “Anyway, at first I was completely down at the whole ‘cursed being a girl bit’, especially with Ranma’s complete Japanese martial artist honor and losing manhood spiel that brought my down along with him. Until that day we were with the Chinese Amazons; they were hot, damn hot. Anyway, you can understand I got . . . uh . . . worked up.  Somewhere during our flight I turned into my girl self, and that night we slept somewhere, still . . . worked up.  At first I was annoyed; I was, well, horny and no warm water around, until it occurred to me, that I didn’t /need/ any warm water.  After all, I still had a body that was obviously fully functional, not to mention a /female/ body, so I went exploring.”

“Ex . . . ploring?” Willow muttered, and all the girls and one grown up woman nodded. Giles was furiously cleaning his glasses.

“The other word starts with an ‘m’,” Xander said with a huge grin.

They all looked shocked, and then Buffy exploded, “You can’t do that!  You pervert! You’re a guy, you-you-you shouldn’t be touching a girl’s body like that!”

“I do believe, Buffy, that eventually doing the duty to the continuation of the human species, he is meant to do exactly that,” Giles said with a serious face, still cleaning his glasses.

“You all know what I mean,” Buffy spat out rapidly.

Xander smiled and said, “Well, it’s my body, I get to do whatever the hell I want with it. Anyway, it was around then that I realized this wasn’t a curse at all.  I had been looking at this all wrong.  How many guys and girls haven’t wished to be able to know what’s like to be the other gender for a short while.  And look!  Here I am!  Cold water girl, warm water guy!  This wasn’t a curse; it’s a blessing!  I’m in the mood for a good, quick jerk-off I’m a guy, I’m in the mood for multiple orgasms I get some cold water and I go,” Xander said with a huge smile.

With an audible snap Giles broke his glasses, which he was cleaning, and said, “Oh, dear.” The other occupants of the room looked at Xander with wide eyes.

“I didn’t say that last part out loud, did I?” Xander whimpered, scratching his head furiously.  Willow took in Xander, remembered Lexa, remembered her head against his breasts, and latched onto those two words.  She had a crush on Xander for a long time, and now she felt herself growing hot all over with very lewd images.  She looked hungrily at Xander.

Across the library Jenny swallowed and turned away, looking into Giles eyes.  Cordelia just in front of her looked at Xander in a completely new light.  After all, how could a loser possibly be able to induce multiple orgasms in a girl?  Subconsciously she licked her lips.

Buffy’s jaw was dropped and then she practically broke down, wailing, “No way!  That’s so unfair!  He’s a guy!  I’m a girl!  Why can /he/ give himself multiple orgasms!? /I/ can’t give myself multiple orgasms!  The universe hates me!”

Everyone looked at her, Xander swallowed.  Cordelia walked over to the distraught Slayer and slapped her across her left cheek, startling Buffy.  She pulled her hand back, and slapped her with the back of the hand across her other cheek, then pulled back again.  She slapped Buffy for a total of five times and then said tersely, “There’s a /hot/ /guy/ in this room that just told you he can induce /multiple/ /orgasms/ in a /girl/ with /just/ his fingers, and /that’s/ what you’re thinking of!?  The /unfairness/ of it!?”  Buffy looked up at Cordelia in surprise, letting her words sink in deeper and deeper.  Suddenly her eyes brightened and she bent to her left looking past Cordelia at Xander.

“Oh,” she said, her eyes suddenly started to sparkle.  “Ohhhhhhhhh.”

“That’s right!” Cordelia said in satisfaction, her assessment of Buffy had gone down sharply.  “Ow!” Cordelia suddenly exclaimed and grabbed her right upper arm.  Looking over she saw Willow still with the fist.

“Did you /have/ to point that out to her, you idiot!” Willow exclaimed angrily at Cordelia. Cordelia glared back, then suddenly her eyes widened and looked back at a still sparkly-eyed Buffy.

“Shit,” she said, berating her own stupidity.

 Xander took a few nervous steps back, then mustered his courage, and spoke, “Once I got back from China, I promised myself, I would be experimenting in other areas equally: what’s it like to be a girl in a bar and guys try to pick you up, what’s it like to be ogled by guys . . . what’s it like to have girlfriends, as in girl buddies, which is where not telling right away came in.”  Xander paused and walked over to Buffy and Willow.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you guys, or spy on you, or get to know things I shouldn’t be knowing, I had none of those intentions, I just wanted to know what it was like.  You know that if I really wanted to deceive you I wouldn’t have bothered showing you guys now.  Can you forgive me?”

Willow looked at Xander, going over his words.  What /was/ it like to be a guy?  If she could turn into a guy at will, would she try and find out what it’s like to be one in a similar manner?  She knew that with her curious mind, she would.  She slumped and said, “You’re forgiven.”

Xander then turned his best puppy dog eyes on Buffy, who folded her arms across her chest, but unable to remove the sparkling in her eyes as she took Xander in.  Willow then place her arm around Xander’s waist, laid her head on Xander’s upper arm and added her own puppy dog eyes to the power landing on their friend.  Buffy looked at them, grumbled, and realized that if she didn’t forgive the big doofus she might lose the two best friends, actual friends she’d ever had.  She nodded, but remained angry, eyes still sparkling.  “Thanks, Buff,” Xander said with a smile, swallowing nervously.

“Well, uh,” Giles muttered trying to diffuse the situation as two friends gazes settled on Cordelia.  “I have enough faith in you that you can start and perform your training without me, I need to get my glasses fixed.  Right.”  Giles nodded and went to the exit, pulling Jenny along, and whispering, “Let’s get out of that powder keg.”  Jenny looked back for a moment and then seeing the three girls half surrounding Xander she realized, Giles was right.

Xander swallowed, not quite knowing what to do with his two friends carefully appraising him and the Queen of Sunnydale High doing the same.  “Uh, heh, okay, right, training. Willow, get in your workout clothes, so we can start your training,” Xander said, scratching the back of his head.

“Of course, Xander,” Willow said in a husky voice, or was Xander imagining that?  “Come on, Buffy, let’s change clothes in Giles’ office.”  The two girls started going for the office.

Cordelia walked toward Xander, and stated, “You, Xander Harris, . . .”  Her finger started at his chin and slowly slid down his neck down as she continued, “. . . will be mine.”  Xander’s eyes widened and he swallowed as Cordelia’s seductive finger stopped right above his heart. She gave him a sexy smile, then turn around and sashayed out the library.  Xander’s gaze followed her out the door, his jaw slack all the way.

Inside Giles’ office Willow and Buffy started undressing, and Willow said sugary sweet, “Buffy, if you are my friend, you will keep your paws off of Xander.”  There, she’d mustered up the guts to say it.  First time she had actually asked something substantial from a friend. But Xander had just become a prize she couldn’t afford to miss out on, especially seeing some of the lewd images that had formed in her mind that she still had to analyze thoroughly, mixed with recent confidence boosting happenings she had no other choice but to do that.  Buffy looked at her friend, and then let her shoulders slump, nodding.

Back in the main library, Xander muttered, “Oh, man, what did I get myself into now?”

*****

A bar, somewhere outside of Sunnydale

The next day

The door to the dingy place, bikes parked all around it crashed open.  In came a woman in her mid thirties.  She wore very exotic clothing.  Her big breasts were obvious, her muscular arms were obscured though.  She had big green eyes, and her chestnut brown hair hung curly around her head.  The counter inside was made of wood, and the whole bar was filled with demons and vampires and the like.  The windows of the place was covered up.  Most of the demons were in biker clothing.  A lot of them had red eyes and there must have been at least fifty, that was biker demons alone, not counting the others and the vampires.

The woman calmly made a slight bow, straightened back up and said with a slight accent but otherwise impeccable English, “Nihau.  My daughter and I are looking for a place called Sunnydale.  We have business there.  Unfortunately we have never been to this continent, and must have made a wrong turn somewhere.  Does someone here know the way by any chance?”

The demons chuckled and laughed.  One said, “Is your daughter as hot as you are?  If so, you should bring her in.”

“Yeah,” another demon said getting up, and running a hand across the woman’s ass and up her back, and as he circled her across her breasts, “that way we can have some fun before you go on your way.”

“Then you know the way?” she asked calmly.

A vampire chuckled and said, “Sweety, no demon around here doesn’t know the way to the Hellmouth.  But you know, we require payment first, right guys?”  The demons and vampires howled in approval.

“I see, I shall pay you with steel and wood then,” the woman stated and the demons stopped their leching and laughing and looked dumbfounded.  The woman rapidly smashed a finger in the bar and then in the wooden floor.  A moment later both exploded, and demons screamed in pain as splinters and pieces of wood entered their bodies.  Most vampires exploded almost immediately in the rain of wood.  Another moment later she unsheathed two wicked looking swords, decapitating two demons in the same movement.  She whirled around, five more demons dropped to the sandy ground beneath the destroyed floor screaming in pain.  The woman casually balanced on the beams, and ran over to the non-destroyed parts, slicing demons left and right.  Some attacked but were easily dispatched by the woman’s superior reach with the razor-sharp swords.  Not long after their leader fell and then the demons started panicking, removing any chance of them escaping alive, killing demons went with even greater ease.  The woman made a kick and a demon managed to dodge it.  The kick crashed into the stone wall and a moment later the wall had a rather large hole.  She twisted around decapitating the demon that got lucky the first time around.

Finally one lone demon remained, sitting against a wall trying to go further backward.  The woman put her sword at his throat and said, “Sunnydale.”  The demon quickly gave the directions.  The beautiful woman smiled brightly, and said, “Thank you, if only you had not indicated you wanted to rape me and worse, my daughter.”  A single slice later, left the demon holding his opened throat and gurgling to his death.  The woman tossed the swords up, pulled out two smooth cloths.  The swords came falling down, she cleaned the blades without grabbing them, and then the blades smoothly slid inside the sheaths on her back.  She put the cloths away, and walked out, leaving a terrified human bartender with soiled pants.

Outside she stepped into the rented vehicle, and told her sixteen-year-old daughter, “We’re almost there.”

*****

The following day.

Xander spotted Buffy and Willow coming to join him.  Willow looked good, she wasn’t particularly dressed any better, but she was definitely wearing some make up, red lips, and her hair was a bit more fluffed up than her usual straight down hair.  “Hi, Lexa,” Buffy greeted and joined girl-Xander on her right side.

“Hi, Lexa,” Willow greeted and joined Xander on his left side.  Xander, or Lexa, herself was wearing jeans and a sweater that hugged her well endowed chest.  If she turned into Xander she’d look just as good - ever since his close call with Buffy the other day he had decided to play thinks safer when she didn’t absolutely have to look like a wet dream.  She still looked fantastic though; the jeans were tight, and her makeup was impeccable.

Yesterday night a lot of the courage that yesterday’s anger and big surprises had introduced, had ebbed away from Willow.  She shyly pressed her books against her chest.  It had taken all her mustered up courage to keep herself from completely backing down.  She knew Xander saw her as a friend, so she decided she would play the friend angle but step by step show him more.  She hoped she had the guts and everything else it took to pull it off.   Willow turned and took in Xander’s female body, and realized she didn’t really mind.  This was Xander, the guy she’d had a secret crush on for nearly two years.  He was still the amazing, caring, loyal, heroic individual she always had been.  She smiled, her heart beating in her chest.  To think that thanks to him she’d basically told him what she felt for him, and she now had the guts to do something about it.  Her heart sank again, that last still remained to be seen.  “Uhm, Giles asked if you could come to the library.  He wanted to do some comparisons on you and Xander - you know, uh, well . . .”  Willow made heavy hand gestures, not really knowing how to explain it without everyone in the vicinity who might be able to overhear thinking they had finally really lost it.

“Okay, let’s go,” Lexa said with a smile, while thinking.  *You’re such a chicken, Xander Harris for not coming to school as you.*  None of them noticed Cordelia observing them from afar, and being annoyed.

*****

Lexa walked in between Buffy and Willow, looking back and forth between her friends, wondering.  “Lexa!” Cordelia’s voice sounded and the three of them turned around seeing a big splash of water coming toward them.  Willow and Buffy managed to dodge to the side and not get wet, but Lexa being the target and in between the two girls couldn’t dodge. “YOUCH!” he screamed when the hot - too hot - water splashed onto her.  “What’s the big idea, Cordelia!  Are you trying to put me in a hospital with third degree burns!?”

Cordelia walked over swaying her hips, while saying, “Sorry, didn’t know how hot was hot enough, I’ll do less next time.”  Cordelia stopped right in front of him, so he had to look down and his jaw dropped.  Buffy and Willow looked shocked as well.  Cordelia was attired much like Lexa was the first day she arrived, only more.  Ultra short, tight black skirt, and a lovely white top, leaving her shoulders bare and an equally low cleavage.  But where Lexa’s wrap around was closed, Cordelia’s smooth top was tied closed with a string down the middle of her body, allowing even greater height control - or rather depth control.  Cordelia had tied the string only three quarters of the way, and very loosely, displaying an even deeper glimpses, even parts of the roundings of her breasts.  Xander’s eyes were glued there, he was a hormonal teenager, he had no choice.

“Xander,” Cordelia started huskily, hands loosely in her sides.  “Would you go out on a date with me?”  Buffy’s jaw dropped, and then her shoulders slumped in defeat: Xander was off limits, she should go looking up Angel she thought.  Willow’s eyes narrowed, her teeth grinding together as her anger grew rapidly.  What did that bitch think she was doing?

“Uh, uh, uh,” Xander tried, and then shook his head.  “No,” he stated resolutely.

“Are you certain, Xander?” Cordelia asked, untying the string opening up just a bit more. She innocently batted her eyelashes at him.

Xander looked, felt a stirring, and then shook his head hard to clear it.  “No!” he stated again, slowly getting angry.  “If you want to get with me, first you should get a bigger notion of me than thinking flashing some flesh is going to get me to go out with you.  Second you need a serious personality transplant; get kinder, now leave me alone.”

Cordelia pouted, and Buffy blinked at Xander’s answer and Willow pumped her fist going ‘yess’ silently.  Xander turned around and quickly entered the library the library.  To his annoyance he noted that Cordelia came along with Buffy and Willow.  He sighed, hoping the girl would get a clue and leave him alone.  He had his heart set on a certain blonde.

The three girls walked around Xander to the far end of the library, and Xander stopped in the middle.  “Ah,” Giles said coming from his office.  Jenny cam from behind a stack of books, carrying one.  She walked over, and as she placed the book Giles had apparently asked her to get in front of her boyfriend, Giles spoke, “Xander, good.  I brought two bottles of water, one warm and one cold as you can see.”  He pointed at to plastic bottles.  “I’d like to make some measurements, height ratio, width ratio, agility differences and such.  I hope you agree to letting me put you through a few of these tests, it would be fascinating to see how the genders differ from each other taking the exact same genetic structure.  Very interesting indeed.  Do you agree?”

Xander thought it over and shrugged.  “Splendid,” Giles said with a grin.  “Now let’s . . .”

“NIHAU!” a lovely voice called out as the library doors opened.  Everyone turned to look at the teenage, deep brunette entering the library and then jumping from the top of the few steps high through the air, directly at Xander.  Who stood completely still in shock and surprise.

“What?” Xander managed to mutter when everyone else just stood watching the buxom, exotically dressed girl fly through the air slack jawed.  Her attire was a loose pants, some kind of sandals, and an smooth shirt wrapped tight around her breasts, all adorned with flowers and other motifs.  Her long hair was loose apart from two tails that hung from the top of her head from two knots that were incased in lovely white cloths, and tied at their ends with green ribbons.  The green-eyed girl slammed against Xander, arms wrapped around his neck, her body - and especially her prominent breasts - pressing tightly against his, and she rubbed her head against his chest, just under his right shoulder.

“Xander Harris, my lover, my fiance, my strong man, finally I found you!” the girl said rubbing up and down against him, making him feel her breasts very much so.  Xander didn’t move though, his eyes were still wide, his jaw open and partially pulled half in surprise, half in fright.  His hands were stiff and outward, as if he was ready to start running but were frozen in position, while he made several pitiful noises from the back of his throat.

“Did she just say ‘fiance’?” Willow muttered with a small voice.

Giles was cleaning his fixed glasses, and Jenny stood next to him with wide eyes.  “Uhm, excuse me,” Jenny asked slowly and carefully, “exactly who are you?”

The girl didn’t stop rubbing herself against Xander seemingly with eternal love, and answered, “I’m Lu Xion, from hidden Chinese Amazon tribe.”

While the three girls were still trying to figure out this new rival, Xander woke up.  “Wha-wha-what!?  Why in blazes are you here?”

“Look for my fiance of course,” Lotion answered sweetly, and tiptoed looking over his shoulder at the three girls.  She saw two shocked girls, and Cordelia pissed off, arms over her chest.  Going from left to right, starting with Willow, Lotion appraised her rivals, “Flat chested . . .” Willow’s eyes bugged out.  “ . . . flat chested with a crooked nose . . .”  Buffy’s eyes widened, and then narrowed down anger growing, her fists clenching.  Lotion’s gaze lingered a moment on the very sexily attired Cordelia, who smugly moved her body.  “ . . . penis envy bitch,” Lotion finished.

“WHAT!?” Cordelia screamed out, and then clenched her whole body, grinding her teeth together.  That bitch was going to get it.  If not from her, it was from the other two girls who were growing more steamed by the moment.

Lotion looked up at Xander, and told him, “I can see why you came to China look for fiance.”

“Xander,” Buffy muttered growing pissed off, her tone said ‘you better not have taken advantage of this innocent girl, and if she’s not innocent I’m gonna kill her’, “explain yourself.”

“How the /hell/ am I supposed to know!?” Xander yelled out in shock, still in Lotion’s death hug that was starting to get to him.

Lotion looked up at Xander, and said, “You not remember most romantic day of my life!?”

“What the hell are you talking about!?” Xander exclaimed in growing more fearful of the rising tempers in the girls behind him that he could practically smell, as well as angry with this stupid Amazon.  “All I did in that village was accidentally eat the prize of a contest, watch my friend win that contest by beating the final winner, and then running for my life!”

“Hmm,” Lotion said.

While Giles furiously increased his cleaning, he asked, “Uhm, Miss Lotion, perhaps you could explain to us why you think you and Mr. Harris here are engaged to be married?”

“Lotion comply,” she said, and started explaining.

~~O~~

Girl-Ranma’s leg finished her one single movement, hitting Xian Pu, a fantastic blue-haired girl and sent her flying off the wooden beam upon which the contest was held.  The guide looked stricken, while Xander and Panda Genma finished eating the prize supreme diner. They nodded in expectant satisfaction.

As Ranma was declared winner Shampoo got up and walked over to Ranma.  She took his head and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.  “AAH!” the guide exclaimed as Shampoo and several other Amazons started picking up weapons.  “She just gave him the ‘Kiss of Death’! Amazons proud!  Losing from outsider worse than death!  Now she will hunt him until she kills him!”  Ranma avoided a swipe from Shampoo as Genma went over to grab him and flee.

Xander in the mean time was under barrage of a lovely brunette, her face grimaced with anger.  She swung a pitch fork  at Xander who ducked.  Seeing how more Amazons were starting to get dangerously close, Xander saw himself forced to do something he had promised himself he would never do, but dying was something he wanted to do even less.  With one powerful haymaker from his right arm across the girl’s chin she went down.  She looked up dazedly, Xander was vague, while he told her, “I’m really sorry, please forgive me, don’t give me the Kiss of Death and everything.  You left me no choice, I would never hit a woman if . . .”

“Come on, Xander!” the guide screamed in terror, grabbing by an arm and pulling him along, the two men, one panda, and one redhead running for their lives.

Lotion closed her eyes, falling into unconsciousness, muttering one last word, “Xander . . .”

~~O~~

Everyone looked shocked at the girl’s story, and even more so when she suddenly pulled Xander down, and planted a loving kiss right on his lips, then made it more passionate by adding her tongue.  Xander’s eyes widened.  Willow’s, Buffy’s, and Cordelia’s eyes narrowed in anger.  “What the /hell/ is wrong with you!?” Buffy screamed out.  “He hit you and you fall in love with him?  Don’t you have any pride as a woman?  How can you be in love with a guy who punched you in the face!?  That’s so . . . so . . . icky!?”

“Not to mention degrading!” Cordelia added grimacing.

“Hmm,” Lotion said.  “Ancient Amazon tradition: man defeat Amazon in combat, Amazon marry man.”

“AARGH!!” Cordelia exclaimed.  With a clang Giles’ glasses shattered again, looking perturbed at his destroyed glasses.  Xander made several more pitiful sounds.

Willow shook her head, muttering, “I always thought Amazons were these great first generation examples of feminism.  What a disappointment.”

“THAT’S IT!!” Buffy screamed out loud, finally fed up with the Amazon and the way she was hugging Xander as if she owned him, and then the reason Willow just mentioned.  “Get your claws off him, bitch!” she yelled as she pulled Xander away from her by his shoulder.  A punch followed and Lotion easily dodged it.  She swiped Buffy’s feet from underneath her, pulled out two nunchakus and put either around one of Buffy’s arms, much to the Slayer’s shock.  She pulled Buffy to her, and then kicked out right in Buffy’s chest.  The slayer was launched from her grip, flew onward until she crashed into the stone edge of the higher level. She groaned in pain as the stone around her cracked and she hung there.  “My doubled training, I will triple,” Buffy muttered in determination and then fell forward and slipped into unconsciousness.

Everyone but Xander and Lotion looked at the unconscious Slayer covered with pieces of stone.  Willow and Cordelia swallowed and backed away a bit.  “Xander,” Lotion said looking deep in Xander’s eyes.  “I’ve beaten my rival for you.  Marry me.”

“Marry you!?  Right now!?” Xander exclaimed in shock.  “Are you nuts!?  No way in hell, you get that!?  You are in the United States now, and before we get married we first date, then live together and if we can still stand each other and still love each other, /then/ we get married.  No sooner, got that!?  WELL!?”  Lotion looked about ready to cry.  “And one more thing, you want to marry me, you better stop beating up my best friends!!”  Lotion broke down, cried and ran out the library.  “What?” Xander asked when the others stared at him.

“Wasn’t that a little harsh to a girl in love with you, Xander?” Jenny asked him.

“AARGH!” Xander screamed.

~~~~7~~~~

Xander walked out of the library muttering to himself, “Stupid women.  Stupid librarians.  Girl comes and demands to be married, insults my friends, beats up one of them, I tell her the damn truth, and the fake macho wimp goes all teary-eyed and suddenly I’m the bad guy. ‘You could have brought that a little less harsh’.  Henh.  The girl wouldn’t understand anything /but/ harsh, clinging to me like I’m some kind of favorite toy.  She should be lucky I chalked it up to cultural difference, and I didn’t consider her insane and put her out of her and our misery.”

Thus Xander stepped into the men’s bathroom, before the other insane women could charge him again.  He stepped in front of the mirror and looked at himself.  Ever since he smashed his hand through a rock for the first time, and Genma and Ranma actually encouraged him, and not talked him down like his father did, his confidence in himself had been boosted.  He remembered being Lexa in the Bronze, Buffy’s assessment of Jonathan’s lack of confidence, and Willow’s reaction.  Like he had been; he had decided then and there he’d do for Willow what Ranma and Genma had done for him, even if it meant she’d focus on him, and his chances with Buffy diminished.  Of course that was before he had a whole horde of other women after him; one Amazon, one rich bitch.  Three of them now, except the one he was interested in.  Part of him regretted that decision, but only for a short while; it was fantastic seeing his childhood friend having some confidence in herself.  He splashed some water in his face and looked at his female self.  “Damn it,” she said out loud.  “Greatest damn blessing I could ever have hoped for, and now this crap as part of it.  ‘Multiple orgasms’ why the /hell/ did I say that out loud?”

She looked at himself for a few moments, and sighed.  She let the warm water flow, waiting, and said, “No sense hiding, they all know how to turn me back and are willing to burn me to a crisp to do so.  Aargh!”  She used the warm water, closed the faucet and then he left again!

Outside casually leaning against the outside wall was a thirty-plus-year-old Amazon woman.  “Jusenkyo.  Not only is he strong, but he cherishes his female side too, without becoming a gibbering emotional fool.  What a man.  Hmm, greatest blessing, eh?”

*****

Buffy slowly got to her knees, grabbed the back of her head and shook it to get rid of the drowsiness.  “Did someone catch the number on that truck that ran me over?” Buffy muttered as she slowly stood up.

Cordelia came back to life from the shocked fear she had at watching that girl beat Buffy with one move.  She was determined suddenly, and went over to the counter.  Right in front of Giles she smashed her fists, and said, “You will train me!”

“I beg your pardon?” Giles answered, still a little perturbed at watching a normal girl beat a Slayer with such impetuous ease.  He could understand the whole ‘use Buffy’s strength against her’ routine that Xander had displayed earlier, but this girl had beat Buffy with superior skill, superior speed, and superior strength.  It was unnatural.

“You will train me, old man!” Cordelia threatened with a pointed finger.  “It’s obvious if I want Xander, I’m going to have to be able to beat that skank, and that means training!”

“But I know nothing of that chi business that allows them to develop such strength,” Giles answered her with a confused face.  Jenny, Buffy, and Willow looked at the exchange with some interest.  “I’m afraid I’m not of much help.”

Cordelia narrowed her eyes and added, “Don’t worry about that; I’ll get books on chi and tai chi subjects.  You just be there to teach me the basics and guide me through it.  Or is a trainer of Slayers not good enough to train an ordinary beauty queen?”

“Well . . .”

“Hell no!” Buffy exclaimed enraged.  “He’ll be busy training me six time as much as before!  He’ll have no time for a rich bitch like you!”

“Shut up, Summers!  I’ll pay for the lessons, Giles, if that’s necessary!” Cordelia stated with a growl.  “How does a hundred bucks per lesson sound?”

Giles eyebrows raised, that was quite some money.  “Uh,” Willow piped up, and said, “Wouldn’t it be cheaper to go to a dojo?”

Cordelia looked behind her at the redhead, and then said, “You’re right, thanks Willow.” Then she was off.  Giles got angry at Willow, but took a deep breath to calm himself.  A kiss from his girlfriend on his right cheek calmed him down completely.

“After school, Giles, we’re training like we’ve never trained before!” Buffy stated and then she pulled Willow along to their class.

*****

Somewhere else in Sunnydale

“I failed, mother.  I could not seduce future husband, I disgraced,” Lotion stated with infinite sadness, a few last tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

“Ah, do not worry so much, Lotion,” her mother told her with a smile.  “You heard him, he did not outright deny you.  American men are different, they take their time searching for their mate.  Perhaps a wise course of action.  If push comes to shove, you should simply do as he asks.  Date him, and show him you’re the best woman for him.”

“Yes, you be right as usual,” Lotion said taking a bow.

“To do that, the first thing you need to do is learn English better.  An accent and some occasional error isn’t a problem, but you seem to be unable to pronounce a single sentence correctly,” her mother stated, looking at her.  Lotion took a bow.  “Best place to do that, /and/ to be closer to your future husband, would be to go to the same high school as he goes to.”

“High school?” Lotion asked a little shocked.

“Yes, it seems the husband you’ve chosen won’t be moving to live in our village easily either, so we’ll undoubtedly be here quite a while, we require a source of income,” her mother stated with a calm voice then smiled.  Lotion swallowed, she’d seen that smile.  “It seems they have not yet tasted Ramen in this place, or any foods with 3,000-year-old secret Amazon recipes, or any other authentic Asian foods, with the exception of a few mass market well-known dishes.  They could use a restaurant.”

“I see,” Lotion said, slumping a bit.  “Quick retrieval of husband and return home impossible.”

“And that would only mean your husband isn’t as strong as he appeared to be, but first, that might happen yet after all, at the very least, it will be a good test of his meddle,” her mother said.

“Hiya!  Mother!  No test meddle!” Lotion exclaimed in fright.  “Last guy test meddle, in hospital with broken legs, and broken ribs, gibbering ununderstandble things for two months before leaving village broken man!  No test meddle Xander!”  Her mother just grinned. Lotion jerked back and then ran, saying, “Must warn precious husband!”

“That will do him no good, Lotion,” her mother said with a smile.

*****

Xander was in between classes and walked alongside Buffy and Willow.  “So, Xander . . . uhm . . .” Willow said twisting her fingers, trying to muster up the courage to ask him out on a date, “. . . nice weather we’re having, right?”

Xander looked at her, and answered, “I guess . . .”

“Well,” Buffy said with a smile and asked.  “How about we three go out to the bronze tonight?  Just us three, and the real you Xander, having some fun.”  Xander give a non-committal sound as he clasped his hands behind his back.  “You know, without super luscious girls, queen bitches of high schools, and those unfeminist . . .”

“Nihau, Xander!”

Buffy’s face crunched up in annoyance.  “That,” she mumbled.

“Came to warn precious husband!” Lotion said with great haste, making Willow and Buffy’s face crunch up with anger and hate.  “Great danger coming!  You must hurry!”

“Great danger?” Xander asked her, and then shrugged.  “What else is new?”

“No, hurry, run, hide!  This is really, really bad!  Fearful dragon coming!” Lotion said, and suddenly her eyes went wide and took a step back.

“Huh?” Xander and Willow said.

“She means me.”

The three of them turned around and looked at an older version of Lotion.  She had her arms folded across her chest . . . actually she had them folded under her chest, pushing up her breasts making them look even more impressive then they were normally.  “Whoa,” Xander said, taking her in slowly.  Willow gave him an annoyed nudge.  “Oh, right, who are you, again?  She said something about you being a dragon?”

The woman smiled.  “She Deo!” Lotion exclaimed in fear for her love.  “She my mother! She wish to test your meddle.”

Willow’s, Xander’s and Buffy’s eyes widened in shock.  Now that they looked better they could see some resemblance.  Same color hair, her face had a few similar curves, but like most people Lotion resembled her unknown father more.  For one thing their eye-colors were different.  Where Lotion’s were green, Deo’s were a striking deep blue, and had a less rounded face.  She was just as attractive as Lotion though.

“Indeed,” Deo stated with a smile.  “I was forced to choose a husband from the dim-witted, weaklings amongst our tribe.  I will make sure my daughter will not share the same fate!  She will marry a /real/ man!”

Willow and Buffy looked dumbfounded at the proclamation, and so did many students who looked at the shocking events.  “And how are you going to do that?” Xander asked casually, Lotion shook her head.

“By defeating you and making you acknowledge Amazon martial arts is superior,” Deo lied casually.

“What!?” Xander said in shock.

“What is going on here!?  Why aren’t you kids getting to class!?” the voice of the troll-like principal Snyder screeched and appeared next to Deo.

“Shut up, fool,” Deo commented and smacked her fist on the upside of his head, and he slumped into unconsciousness.  Everyone cheered in happiness.  “Now let us, fight.”

“I can’t,” Xander said with a big smile.

“What?” Deo asked shocked, and Lotion looked equally at Xander.

Xander shook his head and said, “I will not hit a woman unless I absolutely have too, besides you just bashed Snyder unconscious.  You’re my personal her now!  I can’t fight my hero!”

“Oh,” Deo said looking at the unconsciousness man.  “Well, then I’ll have to make you.” Deo jumped forward and Xander went to defend himself.  One punch hit his gut, and a follow up smashed across his face and he launched back along the corridor.  He managed a somersault in the air, but still didn’t allow him to land properly.  He landed with his feet but his momentum backward was too great, he simply dropped to the ground and tumbled painfully a few times.

Xander shook his head, and then looked at a serene Deo, standing just before the shocked three girls.  “That’s it, now you’ve done it,” Xander said and ran at her with a roar.  He brought his fist back, threw it, and stopped right before he hit Deo.  He looked at Deo, Deo looked at him, Willow, Buffy and Lotion looked at the two with a lot of apprehension. Xander blinked and then straightened up, saying, “Nope, sorry, not good enough.”

Deo grinned, and then snaked out a hand to Xander’s crotch.  Xander watched shocked as she patted his balls, and said, “What’s the matter?  Don’t have the balls to fight me?”

Xander’s face went slack for a moment, and then grimaced up with rage, saying, “That does it, /BITCH/!!  Now you made me /have/ to!”  With an enraged roar Xander threw a right punch at the woman’s face that was only a centimeter below his own; Amazons!  With casual ease Deo twisted sideways and made Xander miss.  Before she could use his arm to pull him along he pulled it back while he twisted himself.  Instead though, Deo lashed out a foot, hit him in the gut and he flew back a meter where he crashed against the wall cracking it.

“Xander!” Willow, Buffy and Lotion exclaimed with shock and concern.  Buffy remembered how she was knocked out almost the same way an hour and a half earlier. Xander though grimaced and got up.

“You’re going down,” he said and attacked with a kick to Deo’s gut.  She twisted aside and immediately turned the kick in a roundhouse kick toward where Deo had gone and she pulled her head back, making Xander miss.  “I /will/ defeat you, devil woman!” Xander proclaimed and continued with a rapid combo of his muscular arms and legs, which Deo easily avoided or parried with her hands.  She backed up and beckoned him mockingly on.  Xander tightened his teeth together as he followed her out of the school, running.  A moment later the three girls ran after them as well.

Xander followed the woman out on the grass and everyone looked at the spectacle.  Deo stopped, and Xander grinned.  He jumped forward high, made a somersault, and as he kicked out towards the woman he said, “I have you now.”  Just in time, Deo split in two as she laughed.

“What!?” Xander exclaimed, his eyes widening in shock as he passed in between the women.  He landed and turned around and watched as Deo started laughing truly evilly. Chills ran down a lot of people’s spines as they heard it and watched as both Deos split apart again, the laugh now coming four times overlapping.  The four Deos now split up three ways, two coming our of the middle, and stopping the laugh, Deo said, “Ancient Amazon secret technique Cat Curiosity!”

“Oh, no!” Lotion exclaimed in horror as Xander was surrounded by a circle of Deos, who then started running around him more and more rapidly, eventually simply floating.  “This technique no beaten even by great warrior king Yung Sang!  Xander doesn’t stand a chance!”

Now the Deos were nothing but a blur, and Xander looked around with gritted teeth.  He could barely see one whole Deo, just blurs, how could he figure out which was the real one? Or were they all real?  “Okay,” he said and simply charged forward.  He threw a punch which went straight through the blurred Deos.  A fist hit him hard across his cheek and he staggered back to the middle of the circle.  A kick hit him in the back, and before he could even stagger forward another fist hit him on his right side.  “Aah!” he yelled out in pain, as Deo’s evil laughter once again sounded across the school grounds, eliciting chills.

“We have to help, Xander!” Willow said in fear and Xander seemingly completely out clashed.  “If some legendary warrior couldn’t beat this.”  Buffy nodded and was ready to step forward; saving her friends was in her element.

“No!” Lotion said, putting a hand in front of Buffy to stop her.  “This Xander’s fight. Besides, you’ll only get hurt, and make mother angry, and punishment for Xander greater.”

Xander had gotten several more kicks and punches to him.  Damn how could he beat this, seeing the Deos twisting around him in his mind’s eye.  So fast, so . . . “Right!” Xander said, and roared as he charged to his right straight for the twisting Deos.

“Ha, ha, ha!  That won’t work, haven’t you learned!” Deos’ voices sounded ready to hit Xander again.

All Deos’ eyes widened in shock as Xander suddenly jumped backward screwing around his axis.  He kicked down, just in case, and landed on the ground directly in the path of the illusionary Deos who went straight through him.  He straightened and threw his fist straight into the opposite direction of the moving Deos.  An instant later a Deo jumped in the air, just in front of Xander.  “There,” Xander said jumping up after her.  Deo looked in shock as Xander’s left leg hit her straight in the gut, doubling her over. “. . . moving to fast to do anything else,” Xander said, and then turned around, ramming his right foot across Deo’s right cheek and making her twist away from him.  He finished, “. . . the one avoiding the fist, is the real one.”

Xander landed, and so did Deo, the fake Deos fading away.  Deo touched her sore cheek, which was sporting a graze wound.  Willow, Buffy and Lotion looked astonished at the outcome.  Lotion then swooned, and squealed, “What a warrior!  What a husband he’ll be!” Willow’s and Buffy’s eyes darkened at that.

Deo looked at her hand carrying a few slivers of skin, and thought, *I should have made the fakes jump as well.*  Deo then grinned brightly, and laughed jovially, “Incredible, you’re the first man to be have managed to hit me in thirty-nine years; that’s when I was born.”  Xander wanted to speak, but Deos smiling face continued, “But this is not enough, Harris.  If you wish to avoid the fate of marrying my daughter . . .”

“I will /not/ marry your daughter, get that through your thick head!  Even if you beat me up and tie me up, and drag me in front of a priest, I /still/ will not marry her!” Xander told the woman in anger.

“Ah, if only I weren’t married myself,” Deo said batting her eyelashes at Xander.

“You’d end up in jail, you demon witch!” Xander hissed at her in anger.  “I’m not and adult yet.  Older than eighteen with someone younger than eighteen equals prison for the one older!”

“Really?  Americans need glasses then, because you are most definitely a man,” Deo said licking her lips against as she took in Xander’s form.

“Mother!” Lotion exclaimed both in shock, anger, and mortification, as Buffy and Willow watched with dropped jaws as the older Amazon was casually flirting with their best friend - and romantic interest.

Deo grinned, and said, “No matter, you have by no means beat me, Xander Harris!  And the fate I have in mind, is far worse then being beaten or tied up.”  Suddenly she shot forward, and poked her right index and middle finger hard into Xander’s left pelvic bone just above where his leg fit.  At the same time she hit the same point on his right pelvic bone with her left fingers.

“AAH!” Xander exclaimed, unable to defend himself against the suddenly fast movement.

“NO!” Lotion, Willow, and Buffy exclaimed in horror.  Xander staggered back two steps and then steadied, checking things out.

“Within three days, Xander, you’ll be begging me to marry, Lotion!  Bye, bye!” Deo told him and then jumped high and far away.

Xander whipped around, and looked at Lotion, asking, “What did she do?”

“I don’t know,” Lotion said, whimpering.  “I’ve never seen that technique.”  Xander groaned in frustration.

*****

“Eat up, girls!  Fresh pork, with potatoes, and red cabbage with apple sauce!  Straight from my very own kitchen,” Xander proclaimed with pride, putting the plates with food in front of his friends sitting at the table.  Buffy and Willow looked at the food skeptically as Xander put his own plate at his own place, and watched as his girl friends took careful sniffs of the food. It smelled pretty good; would it taste good to?  “Why aren’t you eating?” Xander asked perturbed, and then his eyes widened.  “WHY IN BLAZES DO YOU THINK I CAN’T COOK!?!”

Buffy and Willow shrank back a little, and then Buffy said with a small voice, “Well, you’re a guy, and . . .”

“FOR EVERY THOUSAND MALE CHEF COOKS THERE’S ONLY ONE FEMALE!!” Xander screamed in anger.  Nobody messed with his cooking!  “I HAD TO COOK REGULARLY SINCE I WAS EIGHT BECAUSE MY MOTHER WAS TOO DRUNK TO DO IT! _NOW/ EAT/_!!

“Okay, okay, okay!” Willow and Buffy both said scarily.  Quickly they grabbed knife and fork and took a bit of the red cabbage.  They both looked at each other, and then chewed tastefully before swallowing it down.  They took some potatoes and gravy.  Willow ate that, while Buffy put a piece of meat to it.  They ate and looked with enjoyment again.

“Mmh,” Buffy said.

“Oh, yeah, this is delicious,” Willow commented with a grin and continued.

“You know that, Willow, you were close enough to know I cooked, so how come?” Xander asked deeply betrayed.

“I knew you cooked, I just never thought you managed anything good,” Willow said with a smile, and watched Xander’s expression darken.  “Sorry,” she said sheepishly.

“Xander, can I have a coke?” Buffy asked a little afraid he might think she was getting it because she thought his cooking was bad.

“Sure, Buff,” Xander said, and got up.  He went over to the fridge and opened it.  He reached in and just as hand reached the threshold of air and refrigerated air he went stiff.  His teeth started clattering, and his entire body turned blue, then he keeled over sideways.  He stayed twitching on the ground.

“XANDER!” both of his friends screamed out in horror and ran over.

“Xander, Xander, are you alright?” Willow asked him concerned checking him out all over, also using her hands to feel for obvious injuries.

With clattering teeth, Xander managed to push out, “No, c-c-c-coold.”

“Huh?” Buffy wondered looking around.  “But it’s warm.”

Indeed it was warm and Xander’s blue color was already clearing up.  A minute later he sat up, flexing his body; nothing was the matter.  “That was weird, Xan,” Willow said as he got up.

Xander nodded, and then Deo appeared on his balcony.  “You!” Xander hissed as Lotion’s mother stepped through the door with an evil smile.

“Indeed me,” Deo said with an evil smile, and pointed at a flask hanging by a necklace around her neck.  “This is the antidote, and I’ll only give it to you, after you’ve married my daughter.”

“What!?  Antidote to what!?”  Xander yelled in anger, stalking toward her.

“The Reverse Polar Bear technique,” Deo stated with a huge grin.

“The what!?” all three teens said in confusion.

Deo grinned and said, “The polar bear is extremely resilient to cold.  Hitting you’re two special point on your pelvic bone as I did today, I disrupted you’re chi flows.  Now, the reverse from the polar bear holds for you: you can’t even handle a tiny bit of cold without happening to you what just happened.  Long term exposure to temperatures even as high as four degrees centigrade will kill you even.”

Xander growled and said, “I’m not marrying Lotion, demon woman.  California stays pretty warm all year through.”

“Indeed,” Deo said smiling serenely.  “But think about it, no more refreshing drinks . . .” Xander shrugged.  “. . . no more refreshing dives into a swimming pool . . .”  Xander shrugged.  “. . . no more going out on a rainy day without three-layers of water proof clothing . . .”  Xander shrugged.  “. . . and Jusenkyo victim: no more turning into a girl.”

Xander’s eyes widened.  “You, you, horrible, devilish, evil, bitch!  You can’t do that to me! I /love/ being able to turn into a girl!  You took away my greatest blessing!” Xander screamed out in shock, making Buffy and Willow look at each other with raised eyebrows.

“I know, that was the point,” Deo stated with a smile.

Xander grumbled inside, and then lifted his arm.  “I can take it!” Xander yelled and opened the cold water faucet in the kitchen.  He moved his hand too it, and the moment his nail touched the outer edge of the stream he jerked back and went blue, teeth clattering.  Then he keeled over again.

“Well, tata,” Deo said and jumped from the balcony, yelling, “I’ll expect you’re ‘I do’ very soon!”

“Xander!” Willow and Buffy once again exclaimed concerned and went over to him.

A few minutes later he was back to normal again.  “I will take that bitch apart and get that antidote!” Xander said with determination and stalked to the exit.  He stopped after three steps and turned around to his friends.  “Oh, shit, I don’t know where she is!”

“We don’t either,” Willow told him.

“AARGH!!”

*****

Xander stalked across school grounds, grumbling profanities at Lotion and more so her mother.  He didn’t really look where he was going and he accidentally bumped Jack O’Tool, an bully upper classman.  “Harris,” O’Tool demanded.

“Hmm?” Xander said turned around, watching O’Tool fling around a butterfly knife.

“You will apologize, or I will cut you up,” Jack demanded.

Xander raised his eyebrows, and then narrowed his gaze.  “Give me that, you fool!” Xander said, grabbing the knife out of O’Tool’s hands with ease.  Jack looked shocked, and then more so when Xander’s body started twitching and shuddering as if being on the north pole, dropping the metal knife, and then turning blue before keeling over.

“Shit man, what’s wrong with you?” Jack O’Tool said fearfully.  He quickly grabbed his knife and ran away.

Cordelia arrived with him a moment later, and she asked concerned as his color slowly cleared up, “Are you alright? What happened to you?”

Xander sat up, and said, “That devil bitch Deo.”

“Huh?”

“Lotion’s mother, she’s worse than Lotion.  When I get my hands on her . . .” Xander muttered.

“You’ll do what?” that annoyingly, deceptively sweet voice asked.

Xander whipped around looked directly at the woman, the flask still around her neck. “Mine!” he hissed and made a grasp for the flask, and seemingly missed by a mile.  “Huh?”

“Too slow, boy,” she told him.

With a roar he made another pass, but Deo easily jumped backward out of the way. “You’re three decades too young to beat me, Harris, you better marry my daughter,” Deo told him with a huge smile.  Xander growled.  “Oh!” Deo said with a smile, lifting his finger. “Last night, I did not yet have an address where you can contact me to agree to marry Lotion, now I do.”  She handed a flyer over to Xander and one to Cordelia.

Xander read, Cordelia read out loud, “Authentic Chinese Amazon and other Asian food at the brand new Amazon Dragon Chinese restaurant.  Taste Asian foods very little people in the western world have had the privilege of tasting.  Multiple flavors of ramen.  We deliver. Come enjoy the Amazon way!”  Then there was an address.  Cordelia folded open the flyer and found the menu wrapped inside, and she checked that out as well.

“If you excuse me, I have more flyers to pass out,” Deo said and then jumped high to the school roof, throwing flyers left and right from the basket she was holding, yelling, “New authentic Amazon food!  Come try it!  Address on flyer!  Menu included! We deliver!”  She jumped onward further into Sunnydale.

“Restaurant!?” Xander exclaimed in frustration.  The women were apparently planning on staying.  “Aaargh!”  He calmed down a bit, and said, “I need to get that antidote!  Also number 59 seems quite tasty.”  Then he ran forward, intending to jump to the roof as well.

Snyder blocked the path, and said, “You will do no such thing Mr. Harris, you will stay in . . .”  Xander’s foot crashed into Snyder’s face and he used the troll as a launching board. Snyder keeled over and fell to the floor.  “I will call your parents!” he threatened from the ground.

“I’m emancipated!” he called back from the air.

Snyder’s eyes widened, and then groaned, “NOOOOooo!”

“Where’s Xander going!?” Buffy asked, as she and Willow arrived and watched Xander go.

Cordelia handed them the flyer, and he said, “He said something about an antidote and number 59 sounding tasty.”

Buffy and Willow gave each other a look, and then ran away.  “Summers!  Rosenberg!  Oh, I give up,” Snyder said from the ground in irritation.

*****

Xander ran into the restaurant and found Deo cooking, and Lotion waiting tables.  “Why hello customer, what can I help you with?” she asked Xander.

“I’ll take one antidote, and one number 59,” Xander told the sexy woman.

She smiled and said, “It won’t go that easy.  You’ll have to pay for 59, but the antidote you’ll have to get yourself.”

“No problem,” Xander said and reached over to the flask hanging by her neck.  Deo seemed having no room to maneuver.  Just as he was about to reach it though, Deo twisted her body and the flask was on the back of her neck.  Xander grumbled.  “Give!” he said reaching for the necklace around Deo’s neck.  “OW!” Xander yelled as a spatula hit his hands, a moment later he found himself flying out the door, crashing to the ground and tumbling onward in the busy shopping street of Sunnydale center.  He growled as he got up, and charged back inside. A moment later he came flying back out with a groan of pain.

Buffy and Willow arrived and watched Xander go back inside, only to come flying out again with another painful groan.  It happened again, and then another time.  “Xander, this is useless,” Willow said sadly.  “She’s too good.”

“NO!” Xander said, and ran back inside, only to come flying back out.

Deo came walking out calmly, and told him, “You should listen to your friend, future son in law.  There’s no way you can even stay inside the restaurant, let alone get the antidote.”

Xander grumbled and his eyes fell on a piece of paper mounted next to the door: ‘Waiter/waitress wanted.’  He pointed at the sign, and said, “I’ll apply for the job.”

Deo’s eyes widened for a moment, and then turned to look at the sign.  She smiled, and thought, *Smart too!*  She nodded and said, “Ah, you’re hired, Xander Harris, come on in and check out your waiter uniform.”

*****

Cordelia, Willow, and Buffy sat at the table during lunch time watching.  “I cannot believe he decided to wear /that/ just so he can turn into a girl again,” Buffy muttered when she watched Xander, twinkles in her eyes.  “I feel for him.”

A woman gave Xander a slap on his ass.  He halted for a moment, and then smiled at the woman as he placed their order rapidly on the their table.

“Uhhuh, I hope he gets to benefit from the friendship I’m displaying by watching him go through this debasement,” Willow said, taking a bite from her ‘ramen’, and said, “Mmh.”

“No you’re not, you hypocrite,” Cordelia answered her.  “You’re here to ogle Xander’s naked chest, just like Buffy, just like me, and just like every other woman in this restaurant.”

Indeed, all Xander was wearing was pants, socks, shoes, an apron in front of his crotch, and a butterfly tie.  His chest and arms were naked.  Buffy blushed and tried to sputter an explanation.  Willow looked at Cordelia, growing red and sputtered, “I-I’m not . . . best f-f-friends do . . .”  She slumped in defeat at Cordelia’s intense gaze and nodded.  “I’m evil,” Willow muttered.

“Table six and eight, Harris!” Deo called and placed a finished big order.

“Yes, ma’am!” Xander called enthusiastically balancing five bowls of ramen.  Three he brought to table six, and the other two he placed rapidly in front of a couple.  “Bon appetite, ma’am, sir.”  And Xander went away the girl looking after him.

“Could you stare a little less?  I’m right here,” the guy asked gently.

The girl twisted her head violently, and with narrowed eyes she asked, “Did I complain when you dragged me to that topless restaurant last week?  With /only/ /female/ waitresses?” The guy swallowed nervously.  “Stop complaining, and eat your food,” she told him and he went to do that.  She nodded with satisfaction.

Xander watched as Deo turned to her cooking, and had left the flask seemingly unattended. He reached for it rapidly, and just as he was about to grab it, a hot spatula crashed against his hand - the flask gone.  “Order for table ten!” Deo called it.

*God damn it!* Xander thought nursing his hurt hand.  “Table ten!” he cried out enthusiastically and took the order.

Lotion who was at the door let in a new set of customers from the long line as a different set left.  “New customers at table twenty!” Deo called out as the customers sat down.

“Table twenty!” Xander called and practically danced over.  “Can I take you’re order, ma’ams?”

A few moments later he returned to counter, placed the dirty dishes down, and named the order, Deo casually nodded.  She placed a new order on the counter, and said, “Table twenty-five!”

“Right,” Xander said, as another employee took the dirty dishes to be washed, and watched with fascination how Xander kept the whole thing running like a giant show.  Xander reached for the flask back around Deo’s neck, and it suddenly flung up, wrapped around Xander’s head and banged him on the counter.

“Table twenty-five,” Deo calmly repeated.

“Twenty-five!” Xander said perkily, but with a grumble.  He picked up the order on a larger plate, and smoothly went over to the table.

Buffy watched Xander, feeling his fate, and said, “This is so horrible.  I can’t watch this anymore.”  She casually kept her eyes glued to his muscular torso, along with Willow and Cordelia.  Willow nodded in agreement but didn’t stop watching either.

*****

At six, when Xander got off his shift a new male waiter came out to do the night shift, and he casually wore a blouse.  Breathing heavily at the counter he said, “Hey!  He doesn’t have to!”

“He doesn’t look as good as you do,” Deo said with a smile, the flask still firmly around her neck.

“RAAAAAR!” Xander screamed in frustration.  “You demon bitch, I’ll find a way to get that flask, I promise.”

Buffy and Willow came back into the restaurant at that time, and Deo answered, “You won’t, not ever.”  Deo smiled and thought, *I might as well show him.*  “Come, I’ll show you why you will never beat me, you’re just several decades too young,” Deo said and beckoned him with her.  Buffy and Willow looked at each other and followed.

They came out in the garden, and Deo made a quick campfire, then took some chestnuts from a bucked and dumped them in.  “This is one of the most ancient Amazon techniques, future son in law, watch closely,” Deo said, and so did Xander, and Buffy and Willow as well.  Her hands moved like a blur and a few moments later she held up three chestnuts with unblemished hands.

The three Scooby Gang members looked with slack jaws at that, before Buffy said, “That can’t be possible.”

“It is,” Deo stated with a smile, and said, “The Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire technique.  I move my hands so fast, the flames cannot touch my hands.  Do you understand now why you can never take this flask from me, Xander?  You want to take this flask, you’ll have to be able to do that at a minimum.”

Deo watched him.  Any random man would crack now, of course most would have cracked already.  Xander still watched transfixed at the fire, three more chestnuts still inside.  “I quit,” Xander said, and Deo nodded half-sad, half-happy, “I will come back once I’ve mastered that move!”  Deo’s eyes widened and took in Xander.

“Xander!?” Buffy and Willow both exclaimed when they watched Xander take a step closer to the fire.  “You can’t learn that!  You can’t be doing what I . . .” Buffy was interrupted. Xander’s hands shot out, grabbed the two chestnuts and pulled back out.  His teeth were gritted together, and he finally let out a yell of pain after he pulled his hands free.  He dropped the chestnuts and rapidly reached in the fire for the final chestnut, once again screaming in pain.  Buffy and Willow watched in shock as they looked at Xander’s blistered hand.

“No time like the present to start training,” Xander then hissed at Deo and left, two concerned girls after him.

“My, what a guy,” Deo muttered after he left.  “He will never master it though.”

“What happen if he not?” Lotion asked her mother as she came from the side of the house/restaurant.

Deo looked over and shook her head, “Eventually he will end up with useless hands if he trains like that.”  Lotion looked stricken.  “Don’t worry, I’ll give up before that happens,” she told her daughter.

Then Lotion asked, “What happen if he does?”

Deo looked over to Lotion, eyes wide, never really considering that possibility.  Then she said, “If he does, I’ve never seen a guy with so much meddle ever before.  He’s already more than passed, if he does, you /must/ make him your husband for whole new reasons.”  Lotion nodded, and then sighed like a girl in love.

*****

Back on the beach in front of Xander’s apartment, he had built a fire, and dumped some stuff in there to grab out of.  He’d buy chestnuts tomorrow, the store was closed now.  “Xander, you cannot do this!” Willow called concerned.

“AAH!” he screamed as he went to grab the things out of the fire.  Buffy and Willow both bit their lips as they watched Xander go at it, screaming in pain.

An hour later Buffy tried again to stop Xander, watching in concern at the blisters on the blisters on the blisters and several popped-open, bleeding ones on Xander’s hand.  “Xander, if you keep this up, you’ll have no hands left,” Buffy said with concern.

“Shut up, Buffy!” Xander said angrily.  “I /will/ master this!”  Once again he went, and once again he screamed in pain.  Then again. Willow tried to stop again, but he denied her. Finally, another five minutes of trying later, he sat back in exhaustion, and yelled in pain as the beach sand made contact with his burned hands.

Buffy and Willow went over and pulled him up.  “No buts anymore, Xander, resolve face!” Willow told him, having doubted about using it in order not to crush Xander’s dream.  But it was obvious he couldn’t go on.  Willow covered the fire with sand, and then the two girls took Xander inside as behind them the sun slowly started to set.  Xander let them take him inside and they took him to the kitchen corner.  Willow opened the cold water and held up Xander’s burned hands by his arms where they weren’t hurt, and suddenly realized the insidiousness of Deo’s actions.  Xander couldn’t tolerate cold water!  “Buffy, hold him tight,” Willow said.  Buffy looked aside and made a confused sound, then understood.

“Huh, what?” Xander drowsily asked.  “YAAA!!” he yelled out, and then his body started convulsing and shuddering at the seeming freezing cold.  He tried to pull back, but Buffy held him tightly as Willow kept his hands under the cold water to clean out the sand and smooth over as many of the wounds as possible.  Finally she pulled the hands out and looked at a completely out of it blue Lexa, her whole body still convulsing.

“Okay, now what?” Buffy asked deep concern in her voice.

Willow said, “Put her on the couch, and start looking for something to dress his hands with.” Willow pulled a book from her school bag, and held it up.  “Jenny gave me this, she’ll be training me in magic.  This is a recipe book for all kinds of potions.  Not magical ones yet, she said, but all kinds of old herbal remedies, proven to work.  There’s got to be something for burn wounds.  If Xander has the ingredients in the house or growing around it . . .”

Buffy nodded as she finished putting Lexa still shuddering and convulsing and clattering teeth down on the couch.  “Oh, god, Willow, she’s turning purple, you kept her under the water too long,” Buffy said in shock.

“Go grab warm blankets as well,” Willow told her friend and stopped leafing through book for now.  “I’ll go make warm water to cover him with.”  Buffy nodded and went to do her tasks.

Fifteen minutes later Xander opened his eyes and found his arms wrapped in bandages, painful, but cooling without being too cool.  He looked up at two angry girls.  Buffy asked, “Is that worth it, Xander?  All this to turn into a girl.”

“Oh, this has gone far beyond that.  This is personal,” Xander told her.

“Xander, you can’t beat her on this, you can’t master that, not without a responsible teacher to help you at least.  I doubt they actually train this with an actual fire,” Willow told him sternly, but with concern.  “Why don’t just accept this, and give up?”

“And marry Lotion?” Xander asked her.

“Can’t be that bad a fate,” Willow said before she could catch herself.  Making the others looked at her shocked.  Willow meant it, she rather lose Xander and watch him marry that round-breasted bitch than watch him hurt himself like that this.  Her heart ached, and slowly, reluctantly Buffy nodded.  Xander snorted.  “Besides, you can just give up, admit she’s better. I doubt she’s going to let you die next time there’s rain.  I doubt she’s that cold-blooded a killer, I think she’ll give you the cure if only you - I don’t know - grovel?”

“Oh, no, this devil woman is going down,” Xander said angrily.

“Men,” Buffy muttered.  “Get some sleep Xander, okay?  No more training with the fire. We can’t be around treating more wounds, we have to go home before our parents call the cops.”

“Yeah, Xander,” Willow said sadly.  Xander nodded, feeling the pain.  “I’ll come by in the morning, redressing your hands, okay?”

“Okay.”

*****

Willow entered Xander’s apartment in the morning as agreed, having been given a key, as had Buffy.  “Xander?” she asked, looking around.  Was he still in bed?  Then there was a muffled scream of determination.  Willow noticed smoke through the glass doors leading to the balcony and the beach.  “Oh, my god,” she said and quickly ran out.  True enough, there was Xander training with the fire again.

“Damn it!  Damn it!  Damn it!” he screamed when he failed again, then tried once more.

“XANDER!  DAMN YOU!” Willow screamed in horror and concern as she saw the bandages having been burned off to the wrist, where there was a blackened edge.  Xander looked up, and Willow grabbing him by his underarms and started dragging him back inside. “Couldn’t you at least have waited until the wounds were healed!” Willow said with deep concern.  She forced him down upon the couch and she examined his horribly burned hands, and then looked up in Xander’s teary eyes.  “I know it hurts, but I’ve got more ointment, that worked last night, right?” Willow asked him in concern.

“Hurt? . . . Oh, the pain,” Xander said.  Yes, now that she reminded him of it he felt the burning raging pain in his hands and grimaced.  He cried onward lightly, and asked Willow, “Why can’t I do it, Willow?  What am I doing wrong?”

“Damn it, Xander,” Willow said as she got out the cooling ointment and gently administrated it to Xander’s hands.  He winced with the pain of touch.  “This is some ancient secret Amazon technique, probably takes years and years and years of training to get fast enough, and you expect to do it in a day?”

Xander shook his head, and said, “There’s some trick to it, or she wouldn’t have showed it to me as possible.  She expected me to crumble and beg, but she also kept open the possibility that I could do it too.  I know it, that devil bitch is too evil.  If I gave up, couldn’t or can’t do it, she’ll show how it’s done and hold that over my head for the rest of my live.”

Willow finished with the ointment and cut away the remaining bandages, and pulled fresh ones from her bag.  “You’re such a stupid, stupid, guy,” Willow muttered and then looked in his eyes.  “And I love you for it.”  Xander looked at Willow and blinked.  Suddenly Willow had grabbed a hold of all her courage and leaned over, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips, then backed away.

Xander looked at her, shocked.  Willow was beautiful, always had been, and now having the guts to put on just a little make-up, and working at her attire a bit, she could even be sexy. “Willow . . .” Xander said, looking at the lips that had just touched his.

“I know, Xander,” Willow told him with a shy smile.  “You don’t think of me that way, just a friend.”  She started bandaging him, and continued, “But I’m going to make you think of me that way, and don’t worry, I’m not going all psycho on you like Cordelia and that bitch Lotion.”

Xander nodded, grateful at least for that.

*****

Xander sat in class, not paying attention to the teacher.  He mulled it over and over in his mind, while he looked at the chestnuts he was painfully holding in his right hand and letting them roll with his fingers.  How in blazes could you move you’re arms so fast?  He sighed in frustration; he just didn’t know.  He turned his head and looked out the window of the classroom, at the tree just outside of it.  Thinking and thinking, and coming up with nothing. He watched as a leaf let go and was pulled along by the wind.  The leaf went down, and then up again, it curled around a loop several times, made several twists and turns.  Xander just couldn’t think of how it could be done.  He watched the leaf go down rapidly to the ground, more rapidly then he expected the leaf to go . . . Suddenly his eyes widened in understanding. He sat up straight, and raising his painful right hand in the air, he yelled out, “THAT’S IT!  I UNDERSTAND!”

“Mr. Harris . . .” the teacher started admonishing him, but to everyone’s surprise Xander jumped up from his desk and jumped over to the door.  Xander opened the door and disappeared out the classroom.

“Oh, no,” Willow muttered, and she jumped up to follow him, Buffy right behind her.

“Ms. Ros- Summers, what!?” the teacher tried.

Xander ran out on the lawn, to the tree and found several sticks.  He put them together, and lit the fire.  He threw his chestnuts in.  He grinned deeply.  Pure muscles would never allow him to move so fast, but if he channeled his chi around and through them and his arms, his chi should push his arms forward.  That would make him move so fast.  “Xander don’t!” Willow called in concern, Buffy’s concerned call following right behind.  Xander grinned and concentrated, then moved his arms with enormous speed, blurring.

Willow and Buffy’s eyes widened in shock at the sight of blurring hands and how the chestnuts were launched from the fire.  “Damn it!” Xander yelled in anger.  He didn’t have the precision, hand-eye, as well as speed of closing his hands.  He pulled some more chestnuts out of his right pocket and dumped them in the crackling fire.

Xander did again, now missing the chestnuts all together.  Then again, and this time he had them.  He began to smile and then screamed out in pain.  “Damn it!  Damn it!” he cursed, more people joined, watching in astonishment at Xander’s display.  “But almost had it!” Xander said with a grin.  “Just a bit more practice.”  He did it again and once again screamed in pain.  Then again, and again.  “Damn it!” he yelled.  Why didn’t it work?  It should work, and he tried again, screamed again.

“Xander!” Willow called out in urgency.

“Don’t interrupt me, I almost got it,” Xander said with determination.

“Your bandages!” Willow called and Xander decided to take a look.  There was nothing wrong wit his bandages, what was Willow’s deal?  Willow came over, grabbed his wrists and turn his palms up, looking in shock, at dark spots on his palms.  “They’re not burning, Xander,” she told him, and then looked up.  “You kept the hot chestnuts in your hand.”

Xander’s eyes widened in revelation.  He picked up the chestnuts he had dropped to the ground, and dumped them all in.  With a yell he pulled them from the fire, and this time dropped them immediately once they were out.  Nothing!  Xander laughed!  He’d done it, he’d mastered it!  “That witch is going down!” Xander screamed eagerly, and then ran and jumped on the roof and disappeared.  Buffy and Willow looked at each other in surprise for a few moments, and then ran as well, Buffy holding Willow tightly as she used her raw Slayer strength to jump them both up on the roof as well.

*****

Xander slammed the door of the restaurant open, and looked at Deo with blazing eyes.  The Amazon had turned her head and taken Xander in with some surprise.  “You’re going down, demon bitch,” he told her with a growl.  The customers looked astonished.

Xander jumped forward, and snatched at the flask around Deo’s neck.  The woman just laughed as he missed.  Xander looked at his hands and at the missing Deo.  “Aargh!” he roared and jumped over the counter, finding a hole where Deo had just stood.  “That . . .!” Xander jumped down the hole and found himself in the pitch darkness of the Sunnydale catacombs.  “Come out, come out wherever you are!” Xander called, bristling.

There was some light, and Xander blinked.  With a roar a dragon came at him from the darkness, framed by a giant monkey, and a giant spider with red eyes and scarily big fangs. Xander froze for a moment, and then grunted, charging right at, and then through them.  “I knew it, just a special effect,” Xander hissed and looked around.  He found a small side-corridor and quickly went inside, finding Deo at a kettle from which smoke rose, images of monsters in the smoke.

Deo looked at him, and said in surprise, “Wow, even the great emperor Kuan Yin was scared to death of that one.”

With a roar Xander went forward and crashed the pot to the ground.  Now that no more black and light smoke was added to the mass of smoke, it slowly cleared, revealing torches and light returned to the room.  Xander said angrily, “I’m American!  I’m a Science Fiction fan and proud of it!  We’ve got Hollywood and FUCKING DAVID COPPERFIELD!  Did you think a few special effects were going to fool me!!”

“Eh, well,” Deo said and then bolted down another corridor.  “I’m not beaten yet, son in law.”

“Aargh!  Get back here!” Xander yelled and ran after her, soon losing her.  “Damn it!” Xander chose one corridor of three he could choose from and ran down it.

*****

A catacomb room.  Three ways in and out, two of them opposite the other.  Air imploded into itself, shimmering with heat, a meter above the ground.  An electric spark came from the small whole the implosion had created and sizzled against the ground.  A bigger spark, easily a good sized bolt followed.  The implosion point started to glow bright white and then grew and grew.  One side of the sphere encountered the rock at the right corner of the one entrance way, and it melted right there.  Orange lava flowed around the sphere as it grew and completely disintegrated the rock and lava that couldn’t get away.  Sand on the ground melted and then solidified into glass.  More bolts of energy arched from the center of the sphere, striking a few random parts, one destroyed a rock.

Finally the sphere reached a diameter of two meters and then disappeared just like that, leaving a muscular, kneeling man, fists next to his body.  On of his legs was knelt down, the other was on the sole of his feet.  His hair was in spikes.  He stood up; smoothly, like water, like a well-oiled machine.  His face was a little elongated, and completely expressionless, dead, yet intelligent eyes.  The man took a look around, stepped out of the indentation of glass, and stood still in the middle of the corridor entrance, knowing it was a well-defensible position.

Through his eyes, everything is red, and letters, numbers, signs and schematics zip across the image.  ‘Initial self-diagnostic.’  Different messages kept rolling across it, but they didn’t mean much to the male machine.  They were really only there so whoever designed it could see if everything worked okay, if he, she or it chose to do so.  A picture settled in the right, high corner.  ‘Primary target confirmed: John Connor,’ appeared on the screen for a moment. Then ‘Terminate.’

‘Appropriate suitable clothing,’ was the next sentence when a young man appeared from the right corridor across from it.  Its audible sense heard, “Get out of my way!”

A moment later the young man stopped in front of him, taking him in.  “What the . . .? Naked?” the young man spoke as schematic lines overlaid the young man’s lower legs, then upper legs, and so up until all of its body and clothing were scanned.

‘Match,’ appeared on the screen.  “Give me your clothes,” the naked man or machine stated with a dispassionate tone.

“What!?  Give . . .!?” the young man stated, and then added, “What kind of pervert are you!?”

“Give me your clothes,” the naked machine stated, getting ready to do something drastic.

The young man than muttered words it didn’t understand, “No chi?”  The young man then roared and brought his fist back, yelling, “I said, ‘GET OUT OF MY WAY!’”  To the machine’s surprise the man’s fist crashed right into, and then through his chest.  He pulled his fist back, pulling some wiring along.  With a roar the young man then jumped up and kicked out twisting around his own axis.  Unable to grasp how it happened, the machine still immediately knew it was decapitated.  Connections with power sources in the body were severed, the chip inside the head switching to an emergency battery that wouldn’t last much more than a few seconds.  The machine could see its own body as both it, and the body dropped down.  The head crashed on the glass, and that was very visible to the machine.  It rolled onto the sand bottom of the corridor, turned the opposite direction to where it was facing earlier.  It could see the back of the young man as he ran onward, and heard him growl out loud, “STUPID PERVERTED SEXBOT!!”  Than its power fully failed and all went dark.

*****

A minute later Xander arrived in a large cavern, and he looked around, shocked.  It was filled with water, cold water judging from the cool air coming at him.  Luckily not yet cool enough to trigger his reaction.  In the middle of the cool lake sat Deo on a small rock.  Several more small rocks just peeked over the water.

“Well, that took you long enough, got the wrong path I see,” Deo mocked him with a grin. “So what are you going to do?  Just stand there, or will you come get it?”  She grabbed the flask and wiggled it around.

Xander growled, and said, “Get ready to go down, devil woman!  Here I come!”  Xander then ran with all his speed, perfectly stepping onto the rocks, roaring out.

Deo grinned, and readied herself, then moved forward.  She met Xander’s Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire with her own, blocking each of his hits.  Xander jumped back, looking at a smiling Deo.  “You don’t think it was going to be easy, did you?” Deo asked, both of them standing on a rock.

“Hmm, I expected it to be more difficult,” Xander said, and then ran forward, and jumped high up and over Deo to her other side.  Deo’s eyes widened and grinned as she twisted around.  With a roar and a well-aimed kick, she sent one rock spinning away, crashing into another rock and it too was shot away.  Xander would never make it to any other rock with the strength he put in that jump; he’d fall into the water.  Xander roared as he fell down right at Deo, who grinned at him.  “Chestnuts roasting on an Open fire!” Xander roared and his hands turned to blurs.

Deo’s eyes widened in mild surprise, part of her hadn’t wanted to believe he had the stamina and chi to pull it off multiple times in a row.  She once again blocked his hits and watched him crash into the water.  That would be the end of it, except suddenly he jumped at her with a roar, left foot first and he crashed in her stomach taken by surprise.  Her eyes went down in disbelief as Xander continued his motions.  There she saw cracked rock ground with indentations of fists in it in a circle of water that closed back over it.  Still shocked and dazed over what Xander had done and his kick to her stomach, she couldn’t block his next kick. Xander twisted on his axis while flying up, way up as his right kick to her chin connected and pulled Deo along.  Both were high up in the cavern as both turned further to face each other. “And another Chestnuts!” Xander yelled and attacked.  Once again Deo matched him blow for blow and let the pressure of the blows fly her backward.  She landed smoothly on a rock as did Xander.

“Incredible from such a young one, you used the air pressure of the force your blows to push aside the cold water,” Deo said with a wide grin of admiration.  “Too bad you still don’t have the antidote.”

“You think?” Xander said and jumped one rock forward.  He held out his right hand, and the flask and necklace fell into it and he caught it, grinning widely.

Deo’s eyes widened in shock an felt around her neck.  Her eyes widened in revelation, saying, “That second Chestnuts was just to distract me and get me to put distance between us.  You already removed the flask from my neck with that second kick.”  Xander nodded as he flashed teeth with an even great triumphant grin.  He then screwed open the flask and gulped the liquid inside it down; it tasted like warm water.

“Ah!” Xander said with a grin.  “There, I win!”  He reached down into the water, splashing it around to show his victory.  “COLD!” he yelled, turning blue, teeth starting to shudder and clatter teeth.  “Cold!” he screamed again and then ran forward with all his willpower.  It would not do to fall over in the water.  He jumped and just barely made to the solid ground, where he lay shuddering.  “How?  I won?  Antidote?”

“Warm water,” Deo told him with a big grin that made her look sexy.  “I left the real antidote in the kitchen, just in case.”

“You bitch!” Xander said through chattering teeth.  “You cheating, demon witch!”  Deo laughed.

“God!  Xander really just won, did you see that!  What a move!” Buffy’s voice sounded from one of the entrance ways to the larger cave room.  A shivering Xander and a surprised Deo watched as Willow, Buffy, and Lotion stood there, and had apparently been watching.

“Yeah,” Willow answered and then the three girls rushed over to Xander, kneeling down by him.

“Brought real antidote,” Lotion said triumphantly, at a slowly regaining color Xander.  Deo sighed theatrically in defeat, as Buffy pulled out another flask and handed it over to Xander.

“Huh?  It’s empty,” Xander said feeling the flask and shaking it, feeling something inside.

“Antidote inside,” Lotion assured him, looking with twinkling eyes.

Xander got up and unscrewed the flask, pulling out a small piece of paper.  “It’s in CHINESE!”  Xander roared out in anger.  He had been learning some Japanese with Genma and Ranma, but not Chinese.

Deo nodded evilly, and said, “Yep, that contains the way you need to mold your chi to get rid of the condition.  Even if you could read it, it would take you at least a decade to learn it!  Now, I can teach you, or use my own chi to cure you, but for that, you’d have to marry Lotion first.”

Everyone glared at the shrewd witch.  “Hmm,” Lotion said angrily.  “Mom not play fair. Xander better than any man already, husband earned it.  I not gone through similar ordeal.  I translate.”  Lotion then did exactly that, translating the text out loud, and Deo gave an annoyed snort.

When Lotion was done, Deo said, “You still can’t learn it.”  Her eyes then widened as Xander sank through his legs a bit, and then brought his right hand up.  His thumb was pointing to himself, his middle and index finger up, his last two fingers curled down.  He closed his eyes and concentrated, bringing his left fist against the palm of his right.  Buffy, and Willow held their breath, watching.  Slowly Xander’s chi started glowing blue around him.  Then his chi at his pelvic bone flared, making a twist around his body and then it died down to a dull glow again before Xander let himself completely go.  Xander then walked over to the water and put his right hand in, grinning, then letting himself fall in.  He laughed as she got back up.  Lexa stood, wet clothes clinging to every curve of her body.

“Jusenkyo spring great curse,” Lotion muttered as Buffy and Willow watched.  Willow let her eyes glide over the near naked form of Lexa.  The green, tight shirt with buttons that left Lexa’s arms bare, hadn’t gone quite see-through, but it might as well have been.  Every detail of her bare cleavage, and her breasts and even nipples could be seen in the wet shirt that clung everywhere, as if it had sucked itself against Lexa’s body.  Willow swallowed and felt a stirring she hadn’t expected inside of her, shocked at the full realization: Lexa was hot!  Xander hot!

“I win!” Lexa screamed in anger, and then walked over to his friends.  He turned back and finished, “Get it yet!?  You and you’re stupid daughter can take the next flight to China and start tying up your men again for all I care!  We’re done!  Let’s go guys.”

“All right, Xander,” Buffy said, still somewhat impressed with the battle she had witnessed.  The speed and precision that Xander and Deo had showed was beyond her at this point.  But soon . . . soon she would spar with Xander at his level she vowed.  Her chances of survival would be boosted enormously; she hadn’t ever thought stuff like that was possible, even for a Slayer.

Deo put an arm around her down daughter’s shoulders, watching Lexa and her friends go, and said, “What a man.  If I weren’t already married . . .”

“Mother!” Lotion admonished sadly.

Deo hugged Lotion closer and said, “Don’t worry, you may appear less then smart to him with your speech, but we’re sending you to school for that aren’t we?  That will soon be rectified, sweety, and he’s going to be mightily surprised when he thinks we’re done.  Time to play it his way, my daughter.”  Lotion nodded.

Further into corridor on their way back, Willow said with a huge grin, “You were great, you were incredible, Xander.”

Lexa grinned and then her face fell, and whimpered, “Can you exchange the bandages, Willow!?  The wet ones burn!  Ouch!  You got more ointment right!  Please?”  Willow and Buffy shook their heads, then Willow nodded reassuringly.

~~~~8~~~~

Willow came out in the Summers garden, where Joyce had said Buffy was.  “Hey, Buffy,” Willow greeted and then suddenly stopped looking at what Buffy was doing.  There was a pile of wood, some paper, and Buffy was holding match sticks.  “What are you doing?” she asked confused.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Buffy asked lighting the paper, and a few moments later there was a nice fire.

“Building a fire?” Willow wondered dumbfounded.

“No, I’m roasting chestnuts,” Buffy said, opening the plastic bag leaning against the tree that Willow only now noticed.  Willow watched with wide eyes as Buffy dumped the chestnuts in the fire.  “On an open fire, to be precise,” Buffy said and grabbed for the chestnuts with all the speed she got.

“Butbutbutbutbut . . .!” Willow yelled, waving her hands helplessly.

“OW, AAH!” Buffy yelled out, dropping the chestnuts, then blowing on her burned hands. “Damn, that hurts!”

“Well, duh!  Are you crazy, Buffy!?  Does this mean I have to bandage your hands too!?” Willow screamed almost hysterically.

“Well, thank you for the concern, Willow, I’ll try not to impose on your time by forcing you to make bandages,” Buffy told her, holding up her burned hands, ready to try again.  “Besides, not to worry, Slayer healing here, I’ll be fine after at most a night of sleep.”

“You know what I mean!” Willow screeched in horror as Buffy yelled out in pain again.

Buffy blew on her hands again, and said, “Willow, if Xander can do this, so can I.  Super battle Slayer instincts here, remember?”

“But, but, couldn’t you at least let Xander train you!?” Willow asked in fear and horror. “Remember his whole ‘eureka’ moment in class.  There’s some trick to it.  At least let him tell you what the trick is!”

“And let him know I’ll soon be kicking his ass?  I want him to be surprised in that sparring match, Willow, gives me another edge,” Buffy told her and went again, yelling in pain as the fire licked and blistered the skin of her hands.

“But, eh, ah,” Willow gave up and let herself slump to her ass, and then fall back arms wide outstretched.  “Just great, really just great.  I’m friends with exactly two girls, one is a guy transformed by an ancient curse, and the other is a mystical warrior with enough added testosterone she might as well be a guy.  Can’t I have just one /girl/ friend?”

“OUCH!” Buffy yelled out putting the chestnuts away.

“Uhm, Buffy?” Willow asked her friend, sitting back up.  “Have you thought up what you’re going to tell your mom about having burned and/or bandaged hands?”

Buffy looked at Willow, blinked, and then muttered, “I knew I forgot something.”

Willow threw up her hands in helplessness and said, “You and Xander are equally stupid!  If I wasn’t interested in him myself, I’d set you two up on a date!”  Buffy looked perturbed at the insult, and looked at her hands; they hurt and had even more blisters.

“I’m going to figure it out, you just wait and see,” Buffy said with determination.  She was the one supposed to be protecting them, not the other way around after all.  Then Buffy tried again, crying out in pain.

“Ugh, hello, Buffy?  Best friend here wanting girl talk?  You got time for me?” Willow asked, fed up with all the testosterone around her.

“Huh?  Oh, you could have said something,” Buffy accused perkily.

Willow’s eyelids came down, and said, “Oh, yeah, I came over to stare at you burning your hands, that’s so much fun.”

“Sorry,” Buffy said and looked at the fire and the chestnuts inside.

“Buffy!” her mother’s voice called from inside the house, “Did you get hurt?  Did I hear you yell?”

“Nothing, mom!  Just bumped my toe!” Buffy yelled into the house.  She grabbed the bucket of water she had prepared earlier, wincing at the pain in her hands and poured the water until the fire was fully out.

“Oh, okay!” Joyce Summers called from inside.

“Ow, burned hands really hurt,” Buffy pouted, looking at her hands.  Willow sighed and opened her bag, bringing out the cream she had made in large quantities enough for Xander until his hands finished healing.  Sighing she started applying it to Buffy’s hands, who winced at her first, and then relaxed.  “Hey, this feels good,” Buffy said with grateful eyes.  Willow sighed again.  “Thank you, and sorry for not noticing you needing girl talk,” Buffy said guiltily.

“Yes, well, let’s just get to your room without your mother noticing,” Willow said half-defeated.

“I’ll jump, you hurry through the house,” Buffy said as Willow finished applying the cream.

A few minutes later Buffy was sitting on her bed, and Willow was fidgeting on her chair: the big moment of truth.  “I-I’ve got a confession to make,” Willow said feeling ready to start hyperventilating.  “A big one.  Please don’t end our friendship.”

“Huh?” Buffy asked experimenting with her burned hands.  “What kind of confession could make you think I’ll stop being your friend?”

Willow looked at Buffy then got up out of the chair and started to nervously pace around.  Buffy followed her with her head.  Finally Willow stopped, took another deep breath, and said, “I think Lexa is hot.”

Buffy blinked in confusion, and then said, “And?  I think she’s hot too.  Hell, we both kind of agreed to that the moment we saw her.”

Willow looked at Buffy, at first she was shocked at Buffy’s casual admission, and then realized that Buffy didn’t get it.  “No, no, no!” Willow told her friend.  “Not ‘hot’ as in I’d-like-to-have-even-half-her-looks hot, but ‘hot’ as in I’d-like-to-make-her-mine,-I-want-to-ravage-those-breasts-I’ve-got-a-crush hot, as in ‘Xander’ hot, or ‘Angel’ hot.”  Willow then shut up, realizing she was babbling again, and slumped, looking at Buffy.  She felt ashamed, and hoped Buffy didn’t kick her out.  The Slayer on her part just start at Willow in disbelief.

Finally the blonde managed a response, “Oh.”  She looked at herself, and then she said, “Oh, my . . . you didn’t . . . you’re not . . . you’re not getting turned on every time we touch, or sit next to each other, do you?  ‘Cause that’s just, eeew.”

“Oh . . .” Willow said her eyes glazing over, looking down at her feet, “. . . no . . .”

“Oh, Willow, no!” Buffy said feeling guilty, and horrible at Willow’s plainly hurt feelings.  She hesitated a moment and then grabbed her friend - hurting her hands, but not caring - and pulled her down upon her lap.  She hugged Willow close, and she said, “Don’t worry, Will.  Still your best friend, you’re not ew, nor are your feelings, I just . . . well, don’t swing that way, okay?  I was a bit . . . you know . . . taken aback at a girl possibly for me, but not girl-girl in general, okay?  Get it?  Please, don’t be sad.”

“Really?” Willow asked.  “You’re not disgusted with me?”

“Nah, you’re my best friend, Will.  So you don’t think I’m . . .” Buffy seemed a bit sad.

“Oh, no, Buffy, I just haven’t thought of you like that, I’m sure if I . . .” Willow protested and took Buffy in, letting her eyes glide over her face and down her body, feeling the Slayer’s thighs against her buttocks.  “Now that you mention it, you look good, sexy even, I can definitely see what Xander sees in you . . .”  Buffy perked up at Willow’s compliments.  The witch went on, “In fact perhaps tonight I should . . .”

“Okay, okay, okay!” Buffy interrupted suddenly.  “Information overload.  Just keep your naughtier thoughts to yourself, okay, Will?”  Willow nodded, and smiled embarrassed. “Wow, I’ve got a lesbian for a best friend, that’s actually pretty cool now that I think about it,” Buffy said, allowing her hopes for Xander rise just a bit, immediately followed by crushing guilt over Angel.  Where was the souled vampire anyway?  Perhaps she should look /him/ up instead of waiting for him.  Willow looked down suddenly, pained even.  “What?” Buffy asked confused.

“You don’t get it, you haven’t heard the real freaky part,” Willow said, the pain radiating from her.

“Huh?” Buffy prompted.

Willow looked up and in Buffy’s eyes, and said, “I don’t think I’m lesbian, or perhaps I am. It isn’t like - who cares about guys, now, you know?  I did say ‘Xander’ hot, and ‘Angel’ hot, didn’t I?  ‘Cause Xander?  Yummy.  Still is, in fact, I’ve noticed a few other guys since my revelation - and I was watching Baywatch the other night too - and they’re still hotter than hot, although none can compare with Xander.  God, I got it bad.  Anyway, I’ve seen the girls on Baywatch too, and damn it’s really distracting watching that when you notice both the guys and girls, and . . .”

“Hold the babble, Will, I think I get the idea,” Buffy said raising a hand, thinking deeply.  Willow looked down ashamed.

“Am I a freak?” Willow asked her best friend, her eyes filled with uncertainty.

Buffy hugged the redhead closer, and after a moment asked, “Why do you think that?”

“You can’t like both, can I?  Shouldn’t I be making a choice?  I don’t want to eat from both sides, and such, and helping the repression of gays, and . . .” Willow ran out of steam, slumping against her friend.

“Will,” Buffy said, feeling for her friend, and realizing she didn’t mind one bit.  She hugged the newly bisexual girl closer, and once again finding she didn’t mind if Willow enjoyed a hug from her friend a little too much.  Willow looked back into Buffy’s eyes again.  “It’s obvious to me you don’t repress gay people, and you don’t /want/ to appear like that, so you’re not working to appear straight for the whole ‘how it is now’, so . . . you just like both genders, I guess.”

Willow stayed silent for a few seconds, and then tested out, “I’m bisexual, and being bi is not evil people playing both gays and straight to harm either or both?”

Buffy nodded, and said, “Exactly.  You know, ‘I am woman hear me . . .’  Now you,” Buffy gestured to Willow.

“I am bi, hear me roar?” Willow asked with a grin, Buffy grinned back.  “I’m bi, hear me roar!” Willow said again with more certainty.  “That feels good,” Willow said and then slumped gratefully against her friend.  Buffy hugged her back, realizing just how lucky she really had gotten with such friends, Xander included, even though he wasn’t here to join the friend hug.  Willow’s eyes suddenly widened when she realized something.  “I’m Xander’s perfect woman!” Willow exclaimed and then got up.  Buffy looked at her in confusion. “Think about it, Buffy, I’m in love with and lust after both his male and female side!  He and I can do /everything/ together,” Willow said, nodding with bigger in confidence.  “That’s right, Xander’s already mine!  The other bitches have already lost, they just don’t know it yet!” Willow said, eyes sparkling in triumph, right hand in a triumphant fist above her head.

“Uhm, ‘other bitches’, doesn’t that make you . . .” Buffy asked somewhat in wonder.

“Buffy, I’m basking in triumph here,” Willow said, looking at Buffy with a little annoyance.

“Oh, sorry,” Buffy said and then gestured for Willow to go on, “bask away!”

 Willow nodded in triumph again, and said, “Now all I have to do, is tell Xander I like both his sides, and he’s mine, now I only have to do it tactfully enough he won’t run away screaming . . . that’s going to be the hard part . . .”  Buffy grinned encouragingly.

*****

Xander walked into the library.  It had been a week now since he’d said he’d get Buffy to train with him.  And he was ready.  Suddenly his eyes widened when he saw Cordelia in a skimpy workout outfit training in the middle of the library.

“Oh, hi, Xan,” Cordelia said innocently.

“What are you doing?” Xander asked dumbfounded walking slowly over to her.

“Training martial arts, can’t you see?” Cordelia asked innocently.

“That’s nice, but why?” Xander asked.

Cordelia looked at him oddly, sighed and said, “Sometimes . . . Xander - dweeb - there are vampires about, and all manner of other nasties.”

Xander shook his head.  How the hell Cordelia managed to call him ‘dweeb’ so seductively was beyond him.  “Yes,” he said exasperated, “but that didn’t make you train before.”

Cordelia smiled at him, saying, “Can’t a girl wizen up?”

“I believe,” Giles stated imperiously, “Cordelia’s words were, ‘I cannot get Xander if I can’t defeat my competition in combat’, or something along those lines, and she’s here to demonstrate.”

Cordelia twisted her head to Giles, as Xander grabbed his forehead in disbelief.  “Why did you have to say that, you old goat!?” Cordelia exclaimed extremely piqued.

Jenny who stood next to Giles said, “I believe because you said you were going to train at a dojo, not hog the library where he has to train his charge, and he wants you out.”

“I beg your pardon?” Giles said calmly, as Xander continued shaking his head in disbelief.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, the direct route is the most effective with Americans, I’ll translate for you,” Jenny said sweetly, tapping his upper arm affectionately.

“Why I outta . . .?” Cordelia said extremely insulted, then almost stomped out of the library.

Willow and Buffy entered the library at that time, and looked surprised as Cordelia stalked out of the library.  “Okay, what are we going to do today, Giles?” Buffy asked as she came down the steps.

Willow, holding a glass of water, followed Buffy, and once the Slayer veered off toward the counter and her watcher, the redhead stumbled and ‘accidentally’ let the water fly, splashing directly onto Xander.  “Oops!  I’m sorry, Xan, uh, Lexa,” Willow managed, quite a good bit of acting.

“Oh, brother,” Xander muttered as he took in his female form.

Everyone looked at the spectacle, and Willow walked over to the tall girl.  She looked up at Xander / Lexa and said softly, “You look really good, Lexa, /really/ good, get it?”

Willow then walked over to the office, ready to change clothes.  Lexa remained behind confused.  “Ah, well, yes,” Giles started, confused at Willow’s display, “today Xander has something planned, and, uh, no buts, today you do as he says.”  Buffy glared at him, but then stalked into his office to change in her workout outfit as well.

A few moments later Buffy and Willow returned back to the library in their tight and becoming workout clothes.  “Okay, oh, grate martial arts mistress, this is one time only, what is it?” Buffy asked Lexa with some annoyance, what did this non mystical chosen think he could teach her?  Willow nodded, agreeing with the question if not the sentiment.  Willow knew Xander had told he’d get Buffy to let him train her, and wondered how he was going to pull it off.  Willow looked at Buffy’s hands folded across her chest, and back at Lexa’s’s still lightly bandaged hands.  One night had past, and Buffy’s hands were already fine, she wished for Xander . . . Lexa . . . having equally mystically healing capacity.

“Okay, as you know, I’ve taught Willow Hapkido every day in the past week,” Lexa stated with a smile, looking at the two girls.  “Today we’re going to test it by having you two spar.”

“WHAT!?” Giles, Buffy, and Willow exclaimed.  Jenny just looked stricken.

Lexa nodded, and hopped onto the table.  She looked at the two girls, and said, “Go on!  Oh, and one more thing, Buff, Willow is going to kick your ass if you hold back.”

Everyone looked at Lexa like she was insane, then Buffy got determined, which is something Willow noticed and she swallowed nervously.  “Are you crazy, Xander Harris?” Giles asked in shock.

Lexa shook her head and gestured at the two girls.  “Willow, don’t be nervous, just do as I told you, don’t think about it, just do it,” Lexa said with a smile.  Willow swallowed and went into a battle stance.  Then Lexa gestured for Buffy to begin the attack.

Buffy threw a devastating punch, and Willow’s flat palm hit the Slayer’s wrist while she quickly backed away, to Buffy’s surprise parrying the blow.  Buffy followed up with a kick that Willow dodged rapidly and backed away to her right.  Buffy turned around, and threw another punch.  Willow’s eyes widened in surprise when she saw the huge opening, and her hands and legs moved almost of their own accord.  She grabbed Buffy’s wrist with her left hand, and Buffy’s elbow with the other while suddenly moving forward and twisting underneath the arm.  To both Buffy’s and Willow’s shock, the Slayer’s momentum kept going and a moment later Willow was to Buffy’s side.  The Slayer’s arm was bent back, all straight line, and Willow quickly grabbed Buffy’s hand and twisted it up and backward.  “Aah!” Buffy exclaimed and tried to yank her hand free.  Instead Willow twisted around her own axis, forcing Buffy to move along, especially since it threatened to move arm and wrist to the breaking point.  Willow grinned, and yanked Buffy’s arm forward twisting it some.  “Ah, ouch!  Aargh, Willow stop!” Buffy exclaimed, trying with her left arm to dislodge Willow’s grip, but every time she came close Willow twisted away, forcing Buffy along and cause her more pain.

Giles looked in surprise at the spectacle, as the diminutive redhead had the mystical Slayer perfectly under control.  “Aargh!  Aah!  Damn it, Willow let me go!” Buffy exclaimed in quite some pain.

Willow bent Buffy’s pinky back eliciting more yells of pain, and Willow said, “Sorry, Buffy, but I haven’t heard the magic word.”

“Please!  Uncle!  Let me go, please, auntie Willow, mistress Willow, just let me go!” Buffy yelled.

“Ok,” Willow said, and casually let go mid another spin.

 Buffy was flung away from Willow.  The Slayer didn’t fly, but she did stumble helplessly backward until she crashed against the stairs to the second level of the library and dropped painfully to her butt.  “OUCH!” Buffy exclaimed, quickly got up, and while jumping a bit, started to rub her ass.  “Tail bone, tail bone!” she said painfully.

Lexa laughed, and Jenny and Willow joined in.  Buffy got herself someone under control and glared at them.  Giles blurted out, “But that’s not possible, you can’t train someone for a weak and have them beat someone far stronger who has been training for a few years!”

Lexa grinned, and answered, “Oh, you can.  You can train someone for a week to fight one specific person.  Repeat the counters to that person’s moves so much they become ingrained, and voila.  Especially if that person isn’t particular skilled, and doesn’t know many different styles of fighting.  Buffy is mostly a brawler, raw strength and speed is what she relies on.  I’ve fought along side Buffy for months now, and sparred with her last time, I know what she does, how she fights, so I prepared Willow specifically for Buffy.  Now if she fights someone else, like say a vampire, Willow is going to get her ass kicked, but Buffy she can defeat.”

“Oh,” Willow said a little less triumphant now, and Lexa grinned at her.  They watched a very deflated Buffy still rub her ass gingerly.

“I’m going to have to detrain some of the stuff I trained you, Willow, then do a proper rounded Hapkido training,” Lexa said with a grin, and Willow grinned back sexily, making Lexa look surprised.  She quickly turned to Buffy, and asked, “So, Buffy, about me /not/ training you?”

Buffy looked at Lexa bungling her legs, and then at the redhead, still shocked at the easy defeat.  She looked back at Lexa determined and said, “Okay, I can admit when I’m wrong; I’d be stupid with such overwhelming proof.  Will you still train me, Xander?”

Lexa grinned, and nodded.  She jumped off the table, and said, “Let’s start with the basics of chi.  I’m going to teach you a few motions that I’d like you to repeat often, while you do that, I’ll start on giving Willow proper training.  Sorry, if I have to divide my attentions between you, ok?”  The girls nodded demurely, then at Lexa’s sadistic grin they realized they were in for one hell of a ride.

Half an hour later getting a little uncomfortable under Willow’s seemingly innocent innuendos and stares at her female body, Lexa decided to go back to Buffy and put some more pointers in with her.  After putting Buffy through to a few exercises she had mustered up the courage to ask, “Do you know what’s going on with, Willow?”

“Oh,” Buffy answered softly.  Damn Willow was smart, and she deserved Xander, Willow was right, she was perfect for Xander.  “She figured out she was bisexual.  She didn’t really know it before, but since she had a crush on you, and you became a girl, she could look at you the same she looked at your male form you know?  Instead of going with the expectation she had to be with a guy.  So there were some tiny signs, but when you came out of the water after you beat Deo with the whole wet look, shirt clinging to your breasts, it was one big bang into full realization of her interest in girls, but since her interest in boys didn’t go away . . .” Buffy shrugged, and finished still softly, “. . . bi, had ourselves a big girl confession about it, so don’t tell her I told you, let her confess to you on your own okay?”

“Uh?” Lexa said dumbfounded.  Willow?  /His/ Willow?  Bi?

“Xander, now that you mention it,” Buffy said, feeling her heart beat in her throat.  Damn, how being sold into slavery couldn’t change a guy from great, and nice, and backup-material to the hunk-a-hunk of man flesh in front of her now.  “That makes Willow kinda perfect for you doesn’t she?  I mean with the whole fully liking both your sides bit?”

Ah!  God damn!  No Buffy was trying to set /him/ up with /Willow/, while he wanted /her/.  This was just his worst nightmare come to life, his heart ached with it.  “I suppose,” Lexa started dejectedly, “if I ask you out on a date you’re going to tell me ‘no’ again, right?”

“I’m sorry, Xander,” Buffy said in pain, /really/ in pain.  She hoped Xander could get over his crush and see Willow for the hot and perfect girl for him she was.

Damn!  Xander was planning on asking her out the next day.  This required a change of tactics.

*****

The next day Xander met up with Buffy and Willow on the school lawn.  “Hey, guys,” he greeted with a smile.  He considered himself and Buffy lucky at least that he had gotten the Slayer to stop her attempts at the Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire technique that Willow told him she was trying.  He said she wasn’t quite ready yet and that he would teach her once she was.  Thankfully the Slayer had accepted that, for now at least.

“Hi, Xan,” the girls greeted him, both pairs of eyes glittering with the sight of him.

“Hello, Xander, how are you today?” Cordelia asked as she came at him from his right. Xander’s eyes widened and then looked around at a sexily-attired, friendly-looking Cordelia Chase.

“Uh, hi,” Xander said, somewhat surprised.  Apart from standard sexy clothes, she didn’t seemed to be particularly interested in showing off, or going off on hysterics, or practically molesting him.  Holy, moly, Cordelia Chase was trying to be nice and intelligent and basically a desired, /mature/ girl to get him interested?  Perhaps he had dismissed her a little too quickly?

“Nihau!  Xander!”

Xander moved as if he got a baseball bat on his head, and squinted his eyes shut in frustration.  His two friends, and one pure suitor, gained dark looks at the girl coming up at his behind.  Slowly and resentfully he turned around, coming face to face with the Amazonian attired girl which showed off her curves quite nicely.  “Why aren’t you and your mother back to China?” Xander asked with an almost defeated tone.

“Must wed future husband, keep hands of stick figures and uncaring bitch off of you,” Lotion answered him with a bright smile, giving him a small respectful bow.  Xander groaned as he heard the two Sunnydale natives and one LA born girl growl.  Lotion either didn’t care, or was completely oblivious, seeing the way she defeated Buffy, it was probably the first. “Also, prove to you I not stupid, so learn better English here at school, and other classes,” Lotion added.  Xander looked up at heaven and mumbled something in frustration.  “Also, as you demanded, Lotion take future husband out on date, yes?” Lotion finished with a smile.  The stares from the three other girls now became positively murderous, and seeing as they went straight through Xander’s back targeted at Lotion, he was very much aware of them.

What in blazes was he going to do about this?  He had worked on an all new seduce-Buffy strategy, now . . .  Wait!  Jealousy /could/ be added as one of the tools of the trade, and he had to admit: Lotion was hot!  “Okay, I’ll date you,” Xander said, making Lotion smile brightly, and Willow, Buffy and Cordelia’s jaws drop.  Then their shoulders slumped seeing their chances dry up fast.  “On several conditions,” Xander added with authority in his tone.

“Conditions?” Lotion asked as the other three girls looked with curiosity.

“Conditions,” Xander confirmed, nodding his head.  “One: the way you feel about me, I do not yet feel about you, but I do feel like that about another girl.”  Lotion seemed sad, and Willow and Cordelia looked hatefully at Buffy who shrank in on herself.  Xander simply continued, “There are more girls who feel like that about me, but I don’t feel about them, so I might be going out on dates with them.  You will not complain about this, you will not demand you should be the only one, I might even kiss them and you will not do anything to harm them, no ‘Kisses of Death’, no kicking their asses to get them away from them, not even idle threats to intimidate them.  You will simply suck up your emotions and accept it, got that?”  The other girls looked with renewed hope, and realized that the rule probably applied to them as well.

Lotion looked sadly at Xander, painfully even, it got to Xander; big, painful eye orbs of girls in distress always got to him, but forced his emotions down with all his might; he was not going to give up on his own happiness just because some Chinese Amazon had some traditions that were outdated and in the wrong country.  Finally Lotion nodded, and said, “Condition accepted.”

“Good, now the second one,” Xander said sternly, and then smiled, he had been looking to a solution to training two women at different levels at the same time; this was the perfect opportunity to not only get that out of the way, but immediately force these damn girls to show each other some respect.  “You will train Cordelia, and Buffy,” he stated, making all the girls gasp.

Lotion said resolutely, “No, no will training my rivals.”

“You heard me.  You will, or you don’t get a date,” Xander stated with a grin.  “There’s no negotiating.”  Lotion lowered her head in defeat.  Xander then continued, “I have to give Willow a proper rounded training, and first I have to remove a few things I ingrained in her, that only I know of.  Once that’s done, I can devote my time training Buffy and /with/ Buffy, at which time you will continue Willow’s training that I started.  Since she’s also with Jenny . . .” Xander checked if no one could overhear, “. . . doing the whole magic thing, the first priority should be teaching her how to used her opponents’ strengths and speeds against her, understand what I mean?  Hapkido is what I started teaching her.”  Lotion nodded.  Xander then finished, “In return you get the added bonus that once I’m done teaching Willow some basics, and start training Buffy, you can train with us on regular occasions if you want to; I for example could teach you the Chestnuts technique, which you don’t seem to be able to do.”

Lotion nodded, smiling at that last opportunity, “Condition two accepted.”

“Now the final one,” Xander said with a grin, once again checking around.  “You know about Jusenkyo, you must now about the nasty things that go bump in the night.  Well, this place is nasty central, the mouth of hell opens up in the library here.  Whenever we need help, you and you’re mom help.  I’m expecting regular patrols of the cemeteries for the blood sucking kind.”

Lotion’s eyes widened, as did the others, and then Buffy’s face went a little dark.  “Final condition accepted,” Lotion stated with a big grin.  No vampire dared to come anywhere near the Amazon village, the few who knew about them were /far/ too scared, the few who didn’t were dust in the wind.

“Great,” Xander said with a smile, “We’ll decide about day and time of the date later, okay?  We have to get to class.”  Lotion nodded and then the whole group turned to the school.

Buffy went close to Xander, and she growled low, “Do you think I can’t cut it, or something?”

Xander looked down at his love, wondering for a moment, and then answered softly, “You died a few months ago, and a vamp is probably not the nastiest thing on the planet; we need all the help we can get.”  Buffy looked up at him, and hated that he was probably right; the whole ‘given the power to fight the forces of darkness’ stuff was seriously overrated.

*****

Later that afternoon

The Californian sun burned on the beach.  The ocean’s quite warm water lazily washed on shore and flowed back.  The young man climbed on shore quite exhausted.  He stood up, completely naked.  He turned around, and looked at the water, then up at the sun and smiled with relief.  He looked at his massive backpack and umbrella strapped to it, which he had been pulling along.

He looked back around, far in the distance to judge where he was, completely missing the surprised male faces and lots of drooling, or otherwise very excited faces of female beach goers.  “Where am I now?” he asked in Japanese to no one in particular.

One Asian girl that had apparently also been taught Japanese, said, “Sunnydale, California, and you can join me right here, big boy.”  The boy looked down at her, licking her lips vicariously, and then he looked down at himself.

“EEK!” he exclaimed and covered himself up, then he quickly opened his backpack and put on his clothes, relieved he shelled out the extra money for the water proof model.  Once in clothes he turned back to the now disappointed girl, and asked, “California?”

“Uh, United States of America?” she returned a little confused.

“AMERICA!?!?” the boy exclaimed in shock.

*****

Even later that day . . . okay night

The black car with blacked out windows crashed without regard through the ‘Welcome to Sunnydale, Enjoy your stay’, sign.  The car came to a standstill, half on the grass of the middle part of the roundabout, half on the road.  The door opened, and a guy in heavy boots, and long black duster got out.  Correction, vampire, got out.  He was vamped out, and his hair was bleached blonde, and with an impossible amount of gel, stiffly swept back.  He took out a cigarette, brought it to his mouth, and lit it.  He took a deep drag, let out the air, and then took a deep sniff of the air through his nose.  “Ah, home sweet home,” he said, and grinned.

~~~~9~~~~

“Hello, Angel,” Buffy said with a smile when the vampire’s door opened.

“Oh, Buffy, hi,” he answered dumbfounded.  They stood there . . .

“Can I come in?” Buffy asked hopefully.

“Ah, yeah, of course,” Angel said and gestured for Buffy to entered.  Buffy smiled, and walked inside, feeling her heart beat faster.  Angel was so sexy.  Damn, how was it possible to have such strong feelings for two guys at the same time?  She was a slut!  A big ol’ slutty slut! Angel was the guy for her!  Right, keep thinking that.  “So, uhm, I have no real information, well, apart that Saturday is St. Vigeous.”

“Vigeous?” Buffy asked confused.

“Yeah, a big night for vampires, they like to band to gather and pillage everything in sight, happens about once in a decade,” Angel explained nervously.  The girl was so beautiful, but he shouldn’t, shouldn’t.

“I didn’t come for business,” Buffy told him, and wrapped her arms around his neck.  She reached up, wanting to kiss him, but Angel put his hands at her waist and pushed her back. “What?”

“It’s wrong,” Angel told her with a guilty face.  “We shouldn’t . . . we won’t . . .”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Buffy demanded angrily.

Angel made a gesture and then started talking, “You’re sixteen, I’m a demon-animated corpse over two hundred and forty years old.  You should be with a guy your age, and alive so you can enjoy dawn’s, sunsets, and just plain the sun and daytime.  Can take you to the beach, and- . . .”

“I don’t care about all that!” Buffy exclaimed annoyed.  “You sound like Xander and Giles!  I only care about you!”  She tried to hug him again, but he backed away.

“You should care about that,” Angel said, looking at an angrier Buffy.  “How about shopping?  I can’t take you to the mall.”

Buffy halted for a moment, frowning, and then said, “There are malls that are open at night.”

“Not in Sunnydale,” Angel answered her.

“What are you saying!?  Are you breaking up with me!?” Buffy asked, her eyes misting up with tears.

“I- I guess I am,” Angel said heartbroken, feeling a brooding session coming on.

Buffy’s careful control broke, and a tear slid from both her eyes down.  “No, no you can’t,” Buffy muttered in shock.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to do the right thing here.  You and I can’t ever happen, it’s wrong,” Angel told her with pain in his voice.  Buffy then turned around and ran out of his apartment, sobbing all the way.  She ran all the way to Willow’s house, and was moment later crying on her bed in her lap.  Willow ran her hands through her friend’s hair, comforting her.

*Stupid Angel!* Willow thought, comforting Buffy.

*****

“Faster, lazy ugly ones!” Lotion called in the back, small courtyard of her and her mothers house and restaurant.  She casually walked rounds around it, overtaking Buffy and Cordelia with ease over and over.  The two girls were exhausted, having run with weights - Buffy a lot more than Cordelia - for the past fifteen minutes, and the fighting-training exercises before that.  Cordelia looked hatefully at Lotion, who added, “You want to be strong as Lotion, work harder!”  Buffy was just sad.

“One of these days,” Cordelia muttered as she found a way to continue running, determined to catch up someday soon with the Amazon.

Deo watched the seen with a grin, shaking her head.  “Xander Harris,” she muttered.  “You /will/ be my son in law.”

*****

“Just great, really just great,” Buffy said as she came out of the school.

“What?” Lexa asked, in full seductress attire.  Willow walked next her, ogled whenever she had the chance.

“Not only does Angel break up with me, now that troll Snyder has me and Sheila prepare the school for the parent-teacher night on Thursday,” Buffy complained with a whiny voice.  An instant later she got two girl hugs, and she sighed as she perked up.  The two girls broke the hug. Buffy sighed again, and said, “Well, I guess Angel breaking up with me has one advantage; I can safely stay home and study for my French test, and not have to worry about Angel getting upset I’m not out on a date with him.”

“Always look on the bright side, that’s my motto, Buff,” Lexa told her with a grin.

Buffy looked at her and said, “Easy for you to say, you’ve got three girls after you who want you badly; if I had three guys after me, I’d be in good spirits too.”

“It’s way overrated,” Lexa told her, and Buffy looked skeptically.

Willow in the meantime perked up, “Three girls?  Who’s the third!?”  Both of them looked at the redhead pointedly, and she blushed.  “Okay, right, yes, I admit it.  Lexa, I’m kind of bisexual; I th-think you’re at-t-t-tractive.  Okay, you’re hot!  Both yous that is!  I w-w-w-want to b-b-b-be your girlfriend.”

“I figured that one out already, Will,” Lexa said sadly.  Boy, Willow deserved better than to chase after a guy / girl / whatever that only saw her as a friend, because she knew what that was like.  Perhaps she should set her up on a date or something?

“Willow, about the French studying . . .” Buffy began hopefully.

“Uh,” Willow muttered.  She knew French already, piece of cake.  “I was kind of looking forward to a night at the bronze, Buffy.”

“Will, tonight is my date with Lotion, you’ll only torture yourself coming to the bronze, have a nice girls’ night in, okay?” Lexa suggested as tactfully as she could muster.

“Well, okay,” Willow said sadly.

Buffy flung herself around Willow, and hugging her said, “Thanks, Willow, I will never forget it.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re just taking advantage of my big brain and my gentle nature; we are still going on our shopping trip right?” Willow questioned her girl friends.

“Of course, can’t do without the shopping!” Buffy said perking up, she need shopping to get rid of the Angel blues.

“Yep, I need some more outfits that look equally good on guys /and/ girls,” Lexa answered them with a smile and then sighed.  “I guess the whole trying out this shopping as a girl thing is going to have to wait.”  She looked down at herself and said, “If I have to change back and forth, I better not be in a skirt when I turn into a guy; I’m telling you, they look good on girls, but unless it’s designed for guys - think kilt - it makes guys look ridiculous.”

“Really?  I think my chocolate milk is still warm, wanna test if there’s enough water in it?” Willow suggested innocently.

“Don’t you dare, Will,” Lexa told her resolutely.

Buffy giggled, and said, “I’m blessed with you two as friends.”

The three of them halted when they saw the guy with a big bush of red roses coming toward them.  His blonde hair was done impeccably.  He was dressed in brand new jeans, and a deep green blouse.  He stepped up to them, and said, “Oh, pearl of my heart, beauty of all the oceans, please accept this token of my affection, and grant me - Deke Fisher, Sunnydale High’s Red Streak Quarterback - the honor of a date.”

The three girls looked shocked at his declaration, and Lexa tentatively asked, “Who exactly are you asking?”

“You of course, my dark goddess, great queen Lexa Horne,” Deke intoned with shiny eyes.

Willow and Buffy giggled, while Lexa said with slumped eyes, “I’m gay, you fool.”

“One date, fair Lexa, is all I ask, and I shall make you like men as well,” Deke declared while a whole throng of students had gathered around to look at the spectacle.

“No,” Lexa groaned out, and then turned around and ran, screaming, “AAAAH!!”

Willow looked with hateful eyes at the still kneeling Deke, and Buffy giggled.  “Suitor number four,” Buffy told Willow, gesturing to a now teary Deke, while more students laughed at him, but he apparently didn’t care.

Willow growled, but that too didn’t discourage Deke.  The blonde guy with blue eyes stood up, grinned widely, almost triumphant, lifted his left arm into the air, and declared, “I shall make her love me!”

Willow walked forward and stepped on his toes.  “OW!” he yelled out, and then, when Willow’s arm hit his gut, “OOF!”  Willow raised her chin high and walked onward as the football player jumped on one foot holding his stomach.  Buffy giggled as she walked around him and joined her friend.

*****

“What do you guys think of this?” Xander asked holding up a sweater.

“Could work,” Buffy said, appraising it with a critical eyes.

“Ok,” Xander said pulling off his shirt without concern.  Buffy’s and Willow’s eyes widened.

“You know, Willow, this half boy, half girl deal, I think I like it better than just boy Xander,” Buffy muttered looking at Xander’s chest, and looked a bit disappointed once the sweater was on.

“Uhuh,” Willow nodded in answer.   Willow took Xander in, showing the sweater, and she said, “Nah, too frilly for a guy.”

“Yup,” Buffy added.  Sighing, Xander took the shirt back off, and put his own back on.  He looked around, and a sales woman arrived.

“Can I help?” she asked the girls.

Her eyes widened when Xander answered, “Yeah, I’m looking for something a guy /and/ girl can where.”

“Androgynous clothing,” Willow supplied helpfully.

“Huh?” both Xander and Buffy said.  Then Xander added, “Yeah, that.”

“Okay,” the sales woman said and a little uncertainly led them to another section of the women’s clothing store.

*****

Cordelia watched silently, licking her lips as Xander and his two best friends left the women’s store; holding a bag with two garments that fit his bill.  “I cannot believe you have the hots for that loser Xander.  Look at him, and that ridiculous top, he even /buys/ women’s clothes,” a voice sounded from behind her.  Cordelia narrowed her eyes and turned around, looking at Harmony who had her hands superiorly in her sides.  The rest of the sheep were behind her. “You know, Cordelia, just a week ago you were still our shining example.  What a disappointment.”

Cordelia’s jaw dropped in disbelief.  “Harmony, I can /not/ believe how stupid you are!” Cordelia hissed out hatefully at her faithful follower.

“Hey,” Harmony commented but Cordelia continued undisturbed.

“Xander Harris has aside from me at least two girls chasing him for being the hottest guy around one of them came all the way from China, and a third that’s just confused about leaving another boyfriend for him,” she lectured superiorly.  “He’s a guy comfortable enough to go into a women’s clothing store and pick out something he can wear just like women started doing before women’s clothes were allowed to look like men’s.  He’s the future, the true man comfortable with himself, and on top of that he’s hot as hell.  Don’t tell me you fools have only watched what he’s wearing; especially since that ‘ridiculous’ top leaves his arms bare.  And what arms, all those masculine muscles, and those powerful legs in that tight jeans, not to mention that hot butt and those kissable lips on that handsome face.  Hhhhhhh, he’s the hottest guy in the entire US.”

 Harmony and co were drooling, eyes wide, now that the woman with a slightly bit more substance than ‘what is he wearing’ pointed out the obvious.  “You’re our hero, Cordelia,” one of the Cordettes said.  Cordelia nodded satisfactorily.  Then the whole group surged forward, calling things like, “Xander!”  “Go on a date with me!”  “Xander!”  “Date me!”

Cordelia was left behind dumbfounded, and then grabbed her forehead, telling herself, “Stupid!  Stupid!  Stupid!  You did it again!  Stop doing that!  Don’t tell anyone!  Don’t bother showing them your superiority, they’ll find out sooner or later, damn it!  At least I didn’t tell them about the multiple orgasms!”

“He gives multiple orgasms too?”  Cordelia’s eyes widened in shock and then looked aside at a girl she didn’t know.  “Xander was his name, right?  Okay, XANDER!”  The girl then burst after the other group of girls, leaving a wide-eyed and slack-jawed Cordelia.  The brunette then walked over to a wall and gently banged her head against it, and then again, and again.

*****

Xander was walking along and talking with Buffy and Willow when he felt a strange sensation of a bull’s eye painted on his back.  He frowned and turned around, his eyes shooting wide open in shock at the small stampede calling his name and more lewd things.

“Xander, run!” Willow suggested, as she and Buffy parted from his to keep from being waltzed right over.  Xander nodded and ran, the girls right on his heels.

*****

“^NO!^” the boy screamed out in Japanese horror at a crossroads in the mall.  Then in perfect English he exclaimed, “This is the fourth time in ten minutes I’m here!  How do I get out of this place!!!”  Apparently although his sense of direction was virtually non-existent, his brain made up for it with a very good grasp of languages, and English was one thing he had learned when he was still in school.  His attire - green pants, furred boots tied with yellow and black ties, a grey-green strapped shirt, that left most of his shoulders and all of his arms bare, the yellow with black dots bandanna around his forehead, along with the big backpack on his back and the red folded umbrella in his right hand - gave him the look of a well-worn traveler.

“Ah, young man, let me help,” a woman said, and pointed to his left.  “Go down that way, take the first right, the second left, then again the first right, then straight on and you’ll get to the exit.”

“Thank you good woman,” the boy said shaking her head in thanks.  Then he turned 180 degrees around and walked resolutely to the next crossroads.  The woman’s eyes widened looking to her right where she had just pointed, and simply straight on where the boy was going.  First she shook her head in disbelief, then her face squinted in anger thinking the boy was playing with her.

The boy however did /not/ toy with her, his sense of direction was simply that bad.  He reached another crossroads, when he heard a voice, “Out of the way!  Look out!”

“Hmm?” he wondered as he casually turned toward the shouting.  He saw people parting ways as a guy came running straight for him, a throng of girls behind him.  “This sounds and looks familiar,” he said grabbing his chin in thought.

“SORRY!” the guy screamed and jumped up at him.  The guy’s right foot smashed right against his face and the boy keeled backward at the unexpected impact.  “Really sorry!” the guy apologized yet again as the boy crashed on his back pack and his hand slammed against the ground.  The boy groaned in pain.

“Xander!  Date me!  Come back to me, Xander!” a throng of voices called.

“AARGH!” the boy yelled in pain as about six girls some in high-heels crashed over him. “The humiliation,” the boy slowly muttered, turning himself around to raise himself to his arms and legs.

“Wait up!” And another girl ran right over him, smashing his face back into the floor.

With a groan the boy once again raised himself up, shook his head and then turn his head to his left.  The guy that had just ran over him had apparently made a circle and appeared from behind a store and pressed himself against a wall, looking around desperately for a better solution.  The boy went fully to his feet and then looked with wide eyes as the guy dipped his hands in a cooled bucket of a window cleaner.  The guy splashed the water in his face and turned into a girl.  “/Very/ /familiar/,” the boy hissed in hatred.

 The throng of girls appeared and the now girl pointed, yelling, “He went that away!”  The girls immediately went in the direction she pointed and she sighed in relieve.

“I knew I hear that voice before,” the boy said, his free left hand in a faced, his eyes closed as he focused all his anger.  Then he ran, straight at the girl, bringing up his umbrella with his right hand, screaming, “YOU BASTARD!  STAND AND I SHALL KILL YOU!!”

*****

Lexa noticed the charging boy just in time.  She jumped back and the umbrella crashed onto the marble floor . . . and straight through it, the marble splintered and flew up leaving an umbrella shaped hole.  Whoever thought they should help the helpless girl being attacked, thought better of it after that display.

“What the hell is that for!?” Lexa screamed out loud, looking shocked at the broken floor, and how much power had to have been behind that blow.  And realizing she probably shouldn’t get hit by that umbrella.

“As if you don’t know!” the boy hissed and stabbed the umbrella forward like a sword. Lexa sidestepped to the left and grabbed him tightly by his wrist.

“Hey, whatever I did, I’m sorry, okay?  We don’t need to hurt each other, right?” Lexa asked him with her most seductive voice.

“Do you think a ‘sorry’ is good enough for what you did to me!?” the boy yelled.  He grabbed his umbrella with left hand, and at the same time moved his right hand forward, pushing Lexa back making her let go.  “_I am Ryoga Hibiki_!” the boy yelled swinging his umbrella from left to right.  Lexa ducked and the umbrella crashed straight through the wall of a bookstore, stone flying everywhere.  “_And I shall /kill/ you for what you did to me_!” Ryoga yelled and lashed out again.

Lexa avoided the thrust and quickly turned around and ran, trying to think of a way to get rid of this guy without any bones, hers or Ryoga’s, having to be broken.  Ryoga meanwhile tripped over the bucket that had been moved by the force of his wall-destroying blow, and dropped to the floor, the water covering him.  A moment later his clothes seemed to be empty, apart from a small bulge at the collar of his shirt.  With several squeaks and oinks a small dark-brown piglet appeared from the collar.  The eyes of the animal twisted in rage as it continued to squeak in indignation, the eyes boring in the retreating girl’s back.

After a short while of not hearing Ryoga’s threats, Lexa dared to look backward, and then stopped.  She looked around, and asked herself, “Where did he go?”  Then shrugged and turned back toward where Buffy and Willow would be waiting.

*****

Later that night in the bronze Xander and Lotion were dancing across from each other. Xander took in Lotion’s attire in amazement.  Her hair was still the same, long and full, with a few ribbons to give it a sense of femininity and naughtiness.  The rest though was quite different.  She wore one of her regular shirts, but it was cut short, offering a small slip of her luscious belly to the eyes, stopping just before her belly button.  The top was cut as well, showing cleavage.  Then she wore high heels, stockings or pantyhose, and finally a short leather skirt that reached halfway to her knees.  Xander admired the view, and Lotion smiled seductively at him.  When the music changed a bit, the Amazon stepped up, pressing her breasts seductively against Xander, her arms around his neck and started a slow dance.  With her head on his shoulder, he placed his hands in the small of her back.  Damn, this wasn’t so bad, not at all.  Xander smelled her hair, and it smelled good.  If Buffy really was not to be for him . . . well, this girl might not even be considered second choice, she was right up there.

Across the room a bleached blonde guy looked around.  There were a lot of girls that fit the annoying one’s description.  “Hmm.”

“Xander,” Lotion murmured contently.  She could get used to this dating business she realized, smiling.

Next to them a bleached blonde guy arrived and said hastily, “Someone call 911, some guy is trying to bite a girl outside!”

Xander and Lotion parted a bit, looking stricken at each other, then they quickly sped outside.  Indeed, once outside they found a screaming girl, and vamp trying to eat her.  A moment later Lotion’s fist rammed in his face and separated him from the girl, while Xander watched with an admiring grin, keeping anything from attacking her in the back.  “Go to him,” Lotion told the girl and pushed her toward Xander, who caught the intended victim and put her beside him.

“Slayer,” the vampire said, wiping the blood from his mouth with a grin.  Lotion looked confused.  “You know, I won’t wait until St. Vigeous, I’ll simply kill you right now.”

Lotion blinked, ducked beneath a swing and landed a punch to the vamp’s gut, doubling him over.  “OOF!” the vampire exclaimed with some shock at the force of the punch.  “Spike, I need some help!” he then called out.  Before any help arrived though, a knee crashed into his face, and a follow up uppercut sent him flying back until he crashed against the metal wall.

“Stake,” Lotion called, and Xander pulled one from the coat he had hastily pulled along and tossed it over.  A moment later the stake entered the vampire’s heart, and he turned to dust, making his intended victim gasp once again.  Xander turned the girl back toward the bronze.

There was a clapping, and then the figure of a bleached-blond, vamped out vampire in a long leather duster came out of the shadows; it was the same guy or rather vampire that had warned them inside earlier.  “Well done, Slayer, well done,” the guy - most likely ‘Spike’ - said with a cocky grin.  “Not many Slayers can fight like you do.  I see you’ve dyed your hair, wrong color according to me; not all of that matters much come Saturday.”

“Huh?  What’s Saturday?” Lotion asked even more confused.

Spike gave a chuckle and as he walked away said, “Saturday is when I will kill you.”

Lotion turned confused to Xander, and asked, “What is ‘Slayer’?”

Xander smiled and said, “One girl in all the world chosen and given the power to fight the forces of darkness, yada, yada, yada.  Giles can explain it better than I can; Buffy’s the Slayer.”

“Have not seen much of that power,” Lotion commented remembering how easily she squashed aside the blonde with the ugly nose.

Xander shrugged, and said, “Whoever created the slayer so many thousands of years ago, couldn’t have been very bright.”

“Well, I look forward to Saturday.  Shall hack of his limbs, and crush his balls several times before dusting,” Lotion stated with conviction.

Xander laughed and slung his arm around her shoulders, much to Lotions delight.  Then he told her, “I think I’m starting to like you, Lotion, if not as a girlfriend, most certainly as a friend.”

*****

“The vampire called him ‘Spike’, you say?” Giles asked of Xander, who nodded.  At the table Buffy and Willow were sitting, still studying for the French test.  Giles stood behind them, Jenny sat across from Buffy and Willow, teaching Willow whenever the redhead left Buffy to her own devices in order to get her to learn something of her own.  “Unorthodox name.”

“Perhaps he’s reformed, anyway, he thought Lotion was Buffy and told her he was going to kill her on Saturday; that was when this St. Vigeous deal started, right?”  Xander commented from his lazy position in the chair.

“What!?  He thought that cheap knock-off was me!?” Buffy exclaimed indignant.  “The bleach must have fried his brain.”

“Or the chemicals keeping his duster from going stale, then again perhaps it was going stale,” Xander replied trying to remember if he smelled anything reeking.

“Hmm, perhaps he went under a different name in the past,” Giles commented and took out another book to try and fight their mysterious new vampire.

Buffy sighed, got up, and said, “I’ll go pour the punch.  I’m punch girl.”

“It looks pretty nice outside, Buffy, I’m sure you won’t get expelled,” Xander said helpfully and the Slayer gave him a dark look.  He smiled and shrugged.

*****

A few minutes later Willow went out to check up on Buffy.  “Hey, Buffy, how’s it going? What taste did you decide on?”

“Oh, lemon, as in lemonade,” Buffy said as she felt beaker after plastic beaker with yellow punch using a soup spoon.

“Cool, how much sugar did you use?” Willow asked as she picked up a beaker.

“Sugar?” Buffy asked as Willow took a sip.  She squinted her face, and swallowed the sour liquid away with difficulty.  “How does it taste?” Buffy asked.

“Great, delicious!” Willow answered, and put the beaker back down.  “I’ll go back to see if Jenny . . . right.”  Willow quickly walked back into the library, closing the doors behind her. “We need sugar, lots of it.”

“Huh?” Jenny asked.

“Is there a sugar demon?” Xander asked confused.

“Yes, Buffy, she made lemonade without sugar,” Willow answered making a face.  “Come on, we need to help her before she gets expelled.”

“Ah!  There he is!” Giles exclaimed and everyone looked at him.

“The sugar demon?” Xander once again asked confused.

Giles looked at him, and then said, “Ah, no, William the Bloody, earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes.  This is good news, he’s barely two hundred, not even as old as Angel.”

“Lotion never seemed worried,” Xander commented casually.

“Sugar!?” Willow asked.  Jenny and Xander looked over at her.

“I’m sorry, Willow, but I think it’s too late to go find sugar,” Jenny commented looking at her watch.

“Oh,” Giles suddenly said, and everyone looked over.  “Spike has fought two slayers in the past century, and killed them both.”

Willow and Jenny looked stricken.  Xander shrugged and said, “He’s going to be dust, I’ll make sure I’m around Lotion Saturday, because I want to watch her take this vamp apart.”

“Xander, he killed two slayers, and on Saint Vigeous he won’t be coming alone,” Giles said concerned.

Xander nodded, and added, “That’s why I want to be there too; I’ll dust his backup, so Lotion can take her time taking Captain Peroxide apart, you guys wanna help?”

“I’m in!” Willow said with a smile.

Xander angled his head back, and said, “Okay, we have to increase your training a bit before then.”

*****

Later that evening the parents, some of whom brought their children arrived, among them Cordelia and her parents and Lotion and Deo.  Xander’s and Willow’s parents characteristically didn’t bother showing, so they had plenty of time to help out Buffy.

Joyce, Buffy’s mother, arrived soon after, and looked with appreciation at Buffy’s set up. “You did all this, Buffy?”

Buffy smiled at her mother, and said, “Well, I had help.”

“It looks very good,” Joyce said with a smile.  “The punch looks good.”

“Uh, Mrs. Summers,” Willow quickly interjected stepping in front of the punch.  “You should try the cookies first, that way you can appreciate the punch more later.”  Buffy looked a bit confused as Willow led her mother away from her delicious punch.  When she spotted Snyder coming from a side corridor though, she quickly gave Willow a look.  Buffy’s mother finished a cookie, and Willow said, “Now let me take you on a tour of the school, you’ll love it, let’s start with the chemistry room.”

“Okay, that sounds nice,” Joyce said a little confused, but let herself be led away.

“Phew,” Buffy said softly.  Snyder arrived and he said, “Was that your mother, Buffy?”

“Yes, that was her, but she wouldn’t have been much help, she doesn’t understand a word of English,” Buffy lied with a smile.  Snyder narrowed his eyes and then turned away from her, gesturing she should continue making everyone happy.

“That was a close call,” Cordelia commented as she came closer.  “If Snyder talks to your mom . . . tenth highschool reunion?  You’ll still be grounded.”  Buffy looked at her with wide eyes.

A smiling Lotion had overheard the conversation, as her mother was off talking to some teacher about really nothing since she’d barely went to school here.  Lotion than added, “What’s different?  Stick figure not get guys anyway.”

Buffy looked hatefully at them when Xander arrived, smiled at his two suitors, and said, “Have some punch, girls.”  The two girls shrugged and went over to the table.

“Rewarding them?” Buffy asked Xander with a pout.

Xander grinned and pointed her to the table, and said, “What’s a lemon, Buffy?”

“A fruit?” Buffy said with a confused face.

“The taste,” Xander said with a little annoyance.

Buffy blinked and thought, then, “Sour?”

Xander grinned and nodded, pointing to the girls bringing the beakers to their mouths.  He said, “You didn’t used any sugar.”  Lotion’s and Cordelia’s faces contorted in disgust at the highly sour punch.

Buffy’s eyes widened, and said, “Oh, my god, I’ll be expelled.”

“No one but them has had any punch yet,” Xander grinned conspiratorially at Buffy.  “Well, apart from me and Willow.  We had to drink a few away after taking it from a few who got to the punch first.”

“You guys are the best friends,” Buffy told him.

Xander shrugged, and with a sour face said, “Better not ever forget it.”  Buffy shook her head.

*****

Some time later Joyce and Willow returned.  “That was an interesting tour,” Joyce commented with a frown.  “We got to Chemistry, and it was empty, we got to English and it was empty.”

“Well, those pesky classes, never know- . . .” Willow tried to explain.

“Mrs. Summers,” Snyder called out an interruption.  Joyce turned to him, and said, “We have to talk.”  Then the two grownups left, and Buffy swallowed nervously.

A short while later they returned.  Deo had rejoined her daughter by now.  Xander and Willow stood on either side of Buffy, lending her their strength.

“Buffy Summers,” Joyce said with careful contained anger.  Buffy swallowed, this did not sound good.  Just as Joyce was about to cut into her daughter, the large window to Buffy’s right shattered, and a bunch of growling vampires arrived.

“Well, hello.  I’ve come to kill everyone,” a vamped out Spike commented with his heavy British accent.  His gaze ended up at Lotion who had walked forward already.  “What can I say, I couldn’t wait.”

“Blondie, good, I tired of waiting,” Lotion commented and went into a battle stance, grinning.

“No, them to safety first,” Buffy said, pulling Lotion along as she grabbed her mother and a few more clueless grownups.

“She’s right, daughter,” Deo said before Lotion could protest.

The whole large group of people ran away from the advancing vampires and in the pandemonium that ensued, some went left, others right.  The large double entrance doors were closed and two vamped out vampires, one female, guarded it.  On the other side another exit was equally guarded.  Buffy pulled her mother, and some more grownups, Snyder included toward the double doors while people screamed in panic.  Not knowing how her friends were doing, Buffy couldn’t worry, but couldn’t /not/ worry either, and pulled the group into a side corridor.  She ran quickly, soon finding an open door and a darkened classroom behind it. “Inside, now!” Buffy ordered, drowning out her mother’s and Snyder’s protests.

Once inside, Buffy closed the door, and started barricading it with whatever she could find. The grownups soon helped, and the door was barricaded just enough before a vampire banged on it from the outside, but not able to budge.

“Did I see that right?  Because I didn’t have much time, but were their faces miss formed?” Joyce asked fearfully as Buffy was already looking around for what to do next.

“PCP, they were a gang on PCP,” Snyder said with a little fear in his voice.  Buffy in the meantime looked out the windows, and was pretty certain she saw at least two vampires standing guard outside.  She looked around, and then up.

“We have to get out of here,” a man said and went for the windows, intending to remove the protective wooden planks and get out that way.

“No!” Buffy ordered without needing to think about it.

“Buffy!” her mother admonished her daughter.

Buffy ignored her and said, “If you go out there, they’ll kill you.”

Snyder wanted to push past the blonde and said, “This is ridiculous, you’re student, I’m the principal, I say what goes on around here.”

“You will not go outside, that’s what I tell you.  Why?  Because I’m the girl that knows how to stop them,” Buffy told him with a grim non-nonsense tone.  She then walked past him to a table.

“I won’t stand for this,” Snyder said but did as told.

“Buffy?  What are you going to do?” Joyce said with concern, fear, and a little anger.

Buffy answered immediately, “I have to go check if all the others are fine, and work on getting you all out of here alive.”

“But you can’t go out there, you said it yourself,” her mother stated in a little irritation.

“I know, that’s why I’m going up there,” Buffy said and put a chair upon the table and climbed up.  “Mom, keep them all inside here, and safe, and I’ll come back for you all, okay?”

“Okay,” Joyce said a little perturbed as Buffy disappeared into the ceiling.

*****

Inside the library were Jenny, Giles, Lotion, Xander and two more grownups and their children.  They too had barricaded the door, and Jenny wondered, “What are we going to do now?”

“Undoubtedly the bastards have people outside to keep us from escaping,” Xander immediately said walking over to the far end of the library to a window.  “So you’ll stay put while I go outside and take care of them so we have an escape route.  I’ll come back once that’s done and we’ll get the people out, then we round us up the rest of the bastards.”

“Great!  I go with!” Lotion said enthusiastically.

“No, Lotion, you have to stay here and protect them, got that?” Xander told his potential girlfriend.  Lotion pouted.  Why in blazes could all the women in his life do that?  “Got that?” he repeated.  Lotion nodded, and Xander then quickly crawled out, closing the window behind him.

*****

“This is insane, I’m getting out of here,” one men of the four people that were with Snyder and Joyce said.  He marched toward the window.

“Right you are, I won’t listen to a student,” Snyder said and joined him.

“You can’t do that, didn’t you hear what my daughter said?” Joyce said desperately, joining the two men.

“I can see where your daughter gets it,” Snyder told Joyce snidely, as the other man finished opening a big enough hole to crawl through, which he promptly started.  Snyder continued, “We’re going out there, call the police and other help, and- . . .”

“AAH!  AH!  AAAH!” the man crawling out screamed as growling was heard and he was dragged outside.

“. . . stay safely inside here,” Snyder finished swallowing deeply.  Joyce grabbed the planks the man had pulled open, and proceeded with quickly closing them again, after which she closed the window.

*****

Spike found a vampire crashing against the door to Joyce’s hideout.  “It won’t budge,” the vampire said in explanation.

“Then use your head!” Spike said, grabbing the vampire and slamming his head . . . in a fire hazard case with breakable glass behind which was among other things an axe.  He took the axe and handed it with irritation at the vamp.  The vamp nodded sheepishly, and started hacking the door.

Spike then continued onward, and smashed open one door.  “No one here.”  Then another, “There’s no one here either.”

Cordelia and Willow sat inside the janitor’s closet, holding each other, trying to stay quiet. “Eeny, meeny . . .” Spike said ready to kick the janitor’s closet in.

“Spike, listen!” another vampire called out, and pointed upward.

Spike was silent and looked up, where a little stumbling could be here.  “Someone’s up there,” Spike singsonged along.  He pushed the vampire onward.  He walked away from him, and quickly found several long metal poles.  He called a female vampire to him, and said, “And you help me with this.”  He then started poking the ceiling hard, and so did the female vampire.

*****

Up in the rafters Buffy saw a pike poke through, and quickly moved onward, she head reached her destination anyhow, and quickly snuck down.

Down below in the library Giles was about ready to go out their, armed with a few stakes and crossbows.  Lotion was eager to go along, but Jenny stopped them both.  Giles told her, “That’s my . . .” Giles looked over at the other people and said, “students out there, I must help them.”

Buffy then landed between them from the ceiling, and said, “Giles!”  She looked around, seeing the frightened people and a disappointed Lotion.  “Situation?” she asked as she took a stake from him.

“Xander went out to clear an escape route, he told us to stay here and keep them safe,” Giles said pointing at the frightened people.

Buffy nodded and said, “I don’t know where Willow, Cordelia, Deo and the others went, but I’m guessing whoever’s with Deo is safe.”

“Very safe,” Lotion nodded with a proud smile, then frowned.  “Unless piss off mother, and /she/ kills them.”  Buffy, Jenny and Giles looked at Lotion.  “Highly unlikely, mother not easy /that/ pissed off,” Lotion added to reassure them.

“Ha, ha, that’s a joke, correct?” Giles commented, and Lotion just looked at him.

*****

In another closed off room Deo’s fist crashed against a butch father’s jaw, breaking it, and sending him flying over a few tables.  “SHUT UP!” Deo screamed in extreme irritation.  “I say what goes here, clear?  If you stupid men don’t stop bugging me with your stupidity, /I/ will kill you!”

*****

“My mom, Snyder and a few others are inside one of the classrooms, rather close to an exit I think, and one vamp with an fire axe seems to be determined,” Buffy said thinking.  “Do you think Xander will clear a big enough escape route for more than one exit?”

“Undoubtedly, the boy may be rash, and not too quick in class, but he’s not stupid, certainly not with this stuff,” Giles told her his honest opinion.  “However, he’s not yet back, so I don’t know how complete he’s done.”

Buffy nodded, and said, “You’re right, Xander will keep them safe, I know.  Okay, I go relieve mom and the others, then I’ll come back here so we can free them, and find the rest.”

“I come?” Lotion half asked, half stated.

“No, keep doing as Xander said, he’ll probably return here.  Protect them, once I return after I get my mom safe, and these are safe, you can come along,” Buffy said with authority preparing to go back up.

Lotion slumped and said, “Too bad.  I love killing vampires, dust sound soothing.  Hurry back.”

They all looked at her, and Giles said hesitantly, “Well, that’s a . . . healthy attitude.”

As Buffy disappeared, one of the other grownups asked, “Vampires?”

“The ones outside?” Lotion said confused.

*****

The vampire turned to dust as Xander’s stake penetrated its heart.  Two more vamps jumped at Xander and sent them both flying with a powerful spinning jump kick.  Then he quickly dusted them.  He had cleaned out about a quarter of a circle around the school by now. Suddenly he twisted around and brought the stake forward, and stopped it just before it hit home.  “Dead boy,” he growled recognizing the startled vampire, “what are /you/ doing here?”

Angel held his hands up defensively, and said, “I decided to follow a hunch, I guess I was right.”

“Well . . . good for you,” Xander said and then turned around, going straight for the main entrance.  “Get to the windows of the library, and get the parents and their child to safety, so Lotion can join in on the fun.”

“Lotion?” Angel asked.

Xander grinned looking over his shoulder and said, “Perhaps it’s best not to meet her, her philosophy on vamps is rather like mine.  I like that about her.”

“And what are you going to do?” Angel asked following Xander.

“I’m going to go in there, and dust every vampire I can find, what else?” Xander told him somewhat irritated.

“You can’t do that!  You know who’s in there?” Angel questioned.

Xander halted, and said, “Yeah, some vamp who’s managed to kill two slayers, but not one more.”

“He’s killed more than two, those are just the ones in the last century and the ones the Watchers know about, and he’s got lots and lots of backup,” Angel told him exasperated.

“All the more reason for you to get the people out so I get my own backup, like say a slayer and a girl who can defeat a Slayer with one kick and her mother that’s even more powerful,” Xander said more and more irritated.

“Hold on a moment, I’ve got a plan that should give us the element of surprise,” Angel said, put his hand in a puddle with water, and splashed it on Xander.

“What?  Huh!?” Lexa called out, then looked angrily at Angel.  “What is this for!?”

“Spike likes girls more,” Angel explained and put Lexa’s head in a hold under his arm, before she got her bearings to do something about it.

“Damn it, let go!” Lexa complained.

“Will you just trust me this once, Xander!?” Angel complained heavily as he marched Lexa to the main entrance.

Behind them there were two persons, one vampire, and behind him the eternal lost boy. Ryoga had just commented how glad he was he had finally found a way out of that mall, when he recognized ‘him’.  He growled and walked resolutely after the vampire and the cursed girl. The unnamed vampire heard the growl and turned around.  He licked his lips when he saw the specimen of physical perfection, but before he could do much about it, Ryoga’s old style Japanese umbrella - containing quite some wood - smashed straight through the demon’s chest, despite its outer tip of about ten centimeters.  A moment later the vampire turned to dust.

*****

The vampire happily axed away at the door, until Buffy fell on top of him, and then dusted him.  “Mom!  It’s me, open up!” Buffy called, knocking on the door.  A few moments later the door opened and Joyce and several frightened grown ups, Snyder included, came out.  Buffy pointed at the exit to the right and said, “Get out through there quickly, and put distance between the school and you.  It’s safe now.”

“How do you know?” Snyder exclaimed in irritation.

“I do, just go, okay?” Buffy said and pointed a the exit.  Snyder nodded and several more grownups followed him to the exit.

“Buffy, where are you going?” Joyce said as she saw Buffy turning the other way.

Buffy turned to her mom, and said, “There are still more people trapped inside, amongst others my friends, I have to go help them.”

“Buffy . . .”

“Mom, I’ll be fine, trust me, now get yourself to safety,” Buffy said urgently, and her mother then nodded in agreement and left.  Buffy turned back further inward into the building.  Then turned back when she saw a dark-haired girl coming into the building while the grownups were leaving.  “Sheila, you’re late, there are some people who want to hurt some of our friends’ parents, you should go,” Buffy said.  Sheila grinned, bent down and picked up the axe.

“Hey, you know me, let’s do some quality violence,” Sheila said with a wide smile.

Buffy hesitated a moment, and then nodded, “Take out their limbs or the head, spine otherwise, don’t bother with the rest of the body.  You’ll be in for a surprise.”  The two girls then went into the building.

*****

“Hey, Spike!  Didn’t I teach you to always guard your perimeter?” a vamped out Angel called when he entered the building with Lexa under his arms.

“Angelus!  I did, hard to find good help these days,” Spike said with a huge grin.  “Fancy meeting you here.”  He walked toward Angel, and Angel did the same.

“Yeah, well, what can I say, this town is full of snacks,” Angel said with a wide grin.

*****

“Be careful, I think I hear some,” Buffy warned Sheila behind her and she went a little more careful, as they closed in on the main corridor leading to the lobby and the library.

Sheila smiled, vamping out, and carefully pulled the axe back, ready to hack Buffy to pieces. Buffy looked to her left, and in a window, seeing the reflection of the axe ready to kill her, but no Sheila.  Buffy’s eyes widened and twisted to the left.  The swing missed, overbalancing Sheila and Buffy’s stake hit home.  When Sheila turned to dust, the axe clanged to the floor. Buffy contemplated for a moment, then stuck her stake behind the waist of her white skirt, and picked up the axe.

*****

Spike continued with a big toothy smile, still holding the pike he had been using to poke the ceiling,  “I guess so, say, you wouldn’t have met up with this annoyingly illusive Slayer, would you?”

“Ah, yes, well, she’s a looker, I gave her the whole tortured act, fell for it hook, line and sinker.  Now she leaves me alone so I can feed,” Angel said with a huge grin.

“I knew it!” Lexa hissed, and a moment later, before either vampire knew what happened, Lexa’s right fist crashed into Angel’s gut, doubling him over a little.  With a quick twist she was free, and then uppercutted Angel with her left with his back still to the dark vampire. Angel was launched of his feet and slid across the slippery floor.  “Once I’m done with Bleach Boy over here, you’re next Dead Boy!” Lexa hissed and took in Spike and his entourage of six vamps.

Angel groaned from the floor, “Damn it, that was just a lie.”

“Bloody hell, Angelus.  You were by bloody sire, my Yoda!  What’s wrong with you!?” Spike raged at the down Angelus.  “Oh, for piss sake, you guys take care of the wannabe and the traitor, I’ll go take care of the Slayer.”  Spike said and turned around, walking away with annoyance.  A moment later the first vampire turned to dust.

*****

Lotion paced back and forth like a cage animal.  Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and hefted the sword she had taken from the armory a little better.  Grimacing she walked up to the double doors leading in, and said, “I’m tired of waiting!  Xander and Buffy hogging all the fun!”  She reached the doors and kicked them open with one might kick, leaving Giles and Jenny carrying crossbows to protect the people.

*****

Spike looked astonished as the library doors burst open, launching two vampires that were trying to get in across the hall and against the wall.  Lotion came out and smoothly staked both, putting her stake back again and bringing up her sword.  “Slayer!” Spike called with some happiness, hands in the air, displaying the pike.

Lotion noticed him, and rapidly ran toward him, until she was standing in the lobby, and Spike in front of the side corridor.  “As a favor to you, Slayer, I’m going to make this painless,” Spike said with a huge grin, and then looked startled at the girl’s response.

Lotion grinned predatory and said, “Promised future husband I hack of your limbs, and crush your balls several times before I dust.  I always keep promises.”

“Well, that’s a new one,” Spike said.  He shrugged and attacked his pike slamming against Lotion’s sword.  Buffy’s axe swished right through air, missing Spike just as he went to attack Lotion.  She looked astonished for a moment, and then turned to watched Lotion easily deflecting Spike’s blows.  The vampire seemed to be having fun.

“Hey, Spike, what about me?” Buffy called as she entered the lobby.  Spike looked around, and watched Buffy.

“Not another wannabe,” Spike muttered and started to notice he was distinctly outnumbered.

“Who are you calling wannabe, Captain Bleach!?” Buffy told him angrily and swung her axe.  Spike blocked it with his pike, and kicked the axe from her hands, it clanged to the floor and slit back to the side corridor.

He switched his pike quickly to block Lotion’s thrust and twisted around his axis, putting Buffy and Lotion at the side of the lobby and he at the side of the corridor.  With another twist Lotion’s axe went flying, making her angry.

*****

Angel watched Xander dust a second vampire, but the five of them in such close quarters were starting to overwhelm him.  He got up, preparing to help him out, when a very strong hand grabbed him.  “Out of my way!” Ryoga hissed, and casually tossed Angel backward from him. To Angel’s shock he was launched into the air in a wide arc out the exit.  “You!” Ryoga roared in anger.

Lexa looked over and rolled his eyes.  “Oh, no, not you again.  Well, if you’re here, you might as well help out.  Have fun with him, boys,” Lexa said, then pushed one vamp toward Ryoga and jumped over the rest, saying, “I’ve got my self a big bad to fry.”

Lexa ran over to Spike and watched with satisfaction as Lotion grabbed Spike’s pike and then kicked him so hard he was launched backward until he crashed into the wall, the pike now in Lotion’s hands, and Spike looking astonished.  Lexa grinned, and slid to a stop, overtaking Spike a bit, annoying her.

“What the bloody . . .?” Spike muttered seeing Lexa’s arrival and counted three against one now.  This wasn’t in the planning.  Spike turned to Lotion, and said, “What’s the matter, Slayer?  Can’t handle one little vamp on your own?”

Lotion’s face darkened, and ask, “Why you keep call me Slayer!?  I not Slayer, stupid blonde with ugly nose is Slayer!!”

“What!?” Spike said in shock, and took a few steps forward.

 Buffy exploded, hands balled into fists, “I’M NOT STUPID!  AND MY NOSE IS NOT UGLY!!!”

“It’s square like pig’s,” Lotion calmly pointed out.  Spike now stood in front of Lexa, both of whom were taking in the spectacle.

“One of these days, bitch, one of these days Xander will have trained me enough, and then I will kick your ass all the way back to China!” Buffy growled at the Amazon.

“You not even know where China is,” Lotion returned snideful.

Before Buffy would boil over and attack Lotion despite what she knew the outcome would be, Ryoga’s voice called out, “Out of the way, demon spawn!  I have business with that bastard!!”  Behind him one vampire lay groaning with several ribs sticking out of its body. The dust on the floor was testament to what happened to the rest of them.

A little less far behind Ryoga stood Buffy’s mother, holding the axe, and said, “Demon spawn!?  Buffy, what does he mean by that!?”

“Oh, no,” Buffy muttered, while Spike looked around him, counting the numbers, and seeing his chances of victory hitting rock bottom, and survival following soon after, as well as trying to figure out where the ‘bastard’ was that the guy with the big umbrella was talking about.  “Mom, not now, please.”

Spike was fed up, and vamped out, hoping intimidation, and family squabbles would give him an opening for escape, “Alright, ‘mom’, you want an answer?  I’m a vampire, a demon animated corpse, a blood-sucking fiend from beyond the pissing dead, I’m the big bad, and I’m going to drain your lovely daughter who happens to be the sodding chosen one, the bloody Slayer, from all her blood.  Getting it yet!?”  Joyce’s jaw dropped, Buffy groaned, Lotion looked confused.  “And that means you, you wanking boy, you don’t belong here!  Now, can we get on with the mayhem of me killing you or not!”

Ryoga growled, and roared, “I said, ‘OUT OF THE WAY!’”  He attacked, swiping his umbrella with rapid speed from right to left, completely surprising Spike.  As the umbrella hit him in the right side, the vampire felt multiple bones break in multiple places, and yelled out in pain.  He was simply launched off his feet, past Lotion and Buffy, crashing into a few tables and skidding to a halt.

“Bloody hell!” he groaned out in pain, holding his painful side, and then looked in shock at the unassuming boy that took a step toward Lexa, and swirled the umbrella around one finger - that Spike realized had to be seriously heavy - like it was a simply light little stick. Realizing his chance, he staggered to his feet, and groaning with every step he ran out the broken window.

“You let him get away,” Lexa said shocked at Spike fleeing the scene.

“I don’t care, I shall kill you now!” Ryoga roared and attacked.  Lexa jumped back and the umbrella hit the floor, cracking it open with ease.  Lotion’s, Buffy’s, and Joyce’s eyes went wide in shock at the power behind it, and watched how the boy casually swivelled the umbrella back in place for another attack.

This time Lexa stepped into the attack, and blocked it at the wrist, making sure the umbrella didn’t hit him.  Ryoga had his teeth clenched shut and growled.  “I already told you I was sorry, can’t we just get along?  What in blazes did I do that was so bad anyhow?” Xander asked, genuinely puzzled.

“You dare say you don’t know!?” Ryoga roared, and took a jump back ready to attack again.

“Well, we don’t know for sure,” Lotion interrupted the boy.

“Yeah, we don’t even know who you are,” Buffy added looking at the boy, and rather a bit afraid.  The boy was probably as strong if not stronger that Xander was.

“/I/ am Ryoga Hibiki!” Ryoga declared like that explained everything, and then explained.

~~O~~

“I’m . . . finally here,” Ryoga muttered, leaning on a wooden stick.  He just left the forest and was now standing on an edge of a small, low ravine, with ponds of water below.  “Now to find . . .”

Several sounds drew his attention, and he turned around.  A panda came running out the forest and Ryoga’s eyes widened.  A moment later the panda jumped, and used Ryoga for a spring board, clearing the ravine easily.  Ryoga staggered back, and flinging his hands about he managed to stay standing.  “POPS!” a female voice yelled, and Ryoga looked startled, seeing a redhead girl close in on him, and jump up, equally stepping on his face and jumping across the expanse.

“AAH!” Ryoga screamed losing balance, threatening to fall down the short cliff.  He managed to twist himself, and grab a hold of the cliff edge, but he was slipping.

“Ranma!  Genma!  Wait up!” another female voice screamed, and Ryoga managed to see a raven-haired girl running toward him.

“Help, girl, pull me up!” Ryoga called desperately.

“Sorry, no time!” the girl said and jumped at the edge, which crumbled because of it immediately, “Don’t worry, just a short drop, you won’t even feel a thing, and there’s water to break the fall too.”  The girl landed and ran onward, while Ryoga fell.

~~O~~

“Well, there you go, you’re fine, I was right, and I apologized right there,” Lexa told him with a friendly smile.  “If the fall had been deadly, I would have pulled you up, no doubt about it.”

“Fine!?  FINE!?” Ryoga yelled holding up his left fist with extreme anger.  “I’ll tell you fine!!”

~~O~~

Ryoga fell, and then splashed into the water.  A moment later a small dark-brown piglet spluttered to the surface, oinking and squeaking, then sank back down.  Ryoga did not really know how to swim as a piglet yet.  Once again he surfaced, and once again he sank.  Finally he managed to just barely reach the edge and climbed up.  On dry land, he heaved breath into his lungs deeply, being exhausted.

A shadow made him look up, and he saw the panda once again.  The panda made a sound and then grabbed the piglet before he could run, and happily took him along.

*****

“Oh, what a nice piglet!” the Jusenkyo guide called with a big grin.  “He’ll make a fantastic dinner!”  The panda nodded proudly, while Ryoga squealed and screeched trying to get away.

Several moments later Genma in human form sat at the table, knife and fork in hand.  The guide had put water in a big frying pan, and had filled it with ingredients.  “What good luck that you found such a tasty piglet, sir!” the guide said with a big grin.  “Absolutely great, he’ll make a great diner.  And he’ll never know what’ll happen to him, well, unless of course he’s unfortunate soul who fell into the pond of the drowned piglet.  Tragic story about piglet drowning there seven hundred years ago.”  Ryoga squealed and screamed more in his little cage.  The guide pulled the pig out by his neck, and said, “But that couldn’t possibly be, what would be the odds?”  The guide held Ryoga over the pain, the pick kicked and cycled his short legs, squealing, and squeaking over and over.  “Here goes,” the guide said and dropped the pig in the pan.

“Youch!!” Ryoga screamed turning back into a boy and jumping out of the pan.

The guide and Genma looked shocked as Ryoga ran out the door of the guide’s house.

~~O~~

“ALL YOU!!  ALL RANMA AND YOU, YOU, YOU!!” Ryoga screamed enraged.

“Xander Harris, pleased to meet you,” Lexa supplied.

“AAAH!!” Ryoga screamed and attacked once again with a flurry of blows, umbrella twisting and swivelling.  All Lexa could do was jump back, and avoid.

Wait!  If he was a Jusenkyo victim!  She came past the chemistry room, and the cleaning shower for accidents.  She grabbed for the opening handle, and once the water came, she let it enter her hands.  “RAAH!” Ryoga screamed bringing the umbrella down for the final time . . . just in time Lexa had enough water and threw it, splashing Ryoga in the face.  The umbrella went wide and crashed into and lodged into the wall.  Ryoga’s clothes and backpack were on the floor, and Lexa turned the shower closed.  Squeaking with indignation Ryoga wormed himself free from his clothes.  He looked up with hateful eyes at Lexa, and then jumped oinking dangerously.  Lexa caught Ryoga by his neck, and started walking back.

Lotion and Buffy had walked forward to be able to see, and looked with shock at the piglet jumping at Lexa and she bringing it with her.  Something clanged.  “Mom!” Buffy yelled as she watched her mother drop into unconsciousness.  She sped over and was just in time to catch her, or she would have crashed to the floor.

Lexa reached the girls, and one unconscious mother, still holding the squealing piglet out in front of her.  Buffy looked up, waving cool air into her mother’s face, and said, “I think she took that rather well, don’t you think?”  Lexa shrugged.

“Well!?” was called out, and the library doors opened.  Giles, Jenny and the parents and student came out.  Lotion could just see them, as Giles asked again, “Did I hear you say everything his well!?”

“Okay!” Lotion called out and beckoned them over.  Ryoga in the meantime calmed down, giving up his futile sputtering about.

In the distance a janitor’s closet opened, and Willow and Cordelia peeked out.  “Okay!? Everything’s okay!?” Cordelia called out.

“Yes!” Lexa called, and so the two girls walked over as well.  Once both groups arrived, Willow, Cordelia and Jenny noticed Ryoga.  The parents though quickly walked onward, taking their students with them.

“Oh, such a cute piglet!” Jenny called out and took the pig from Xander, hugging it to her chest, making Ryoga squeal in protest again.

“Where did you find it?” Willow said demanding it from Jenny, and squishing the piglet to her own chest.  Jenny and Cordelia went to stroke it, Ryoga squeaked more, and then glared at Lexa dangerously.

Lexa just looked with dropped jaw.  “Hello, that’s a guy!  Just like I fell into the pond of the drowned girl, he fell into the pond of the drowned piglet,” Lexa told them annoyed.

Ryoga screeched more.  The girls looked up, and then down a the pig.  Willow shrugged, and said, “Doesn’t matter, he’s /so/ cute!”  The other girls agreed.

Giles then reset his glasses and said, “I’ll go find Deo.”

A few minutes later Giles found Deo rubbing some dust off of her clothes, and muttering, “Those stupid, macho, utter halfwits, I warned them, didn’t I?!”  At first Giles thought she meant the vampire she had obviously dusted, but then remembered Lotion’s earlier words.  He quickly ran past the woman and looked into the only opened classroom.   There about four men lay strewn about, wherever they had landed.  A few women looked shocked, a few male students had fearfully crept underneath tables.  After a quick check, Giles was relieved that there was no blood anywhere, the men had simply been knocked unconscious, the different hued bruises a testament to that.

Back in the lobby, Joyce had come too, and after some heavy calming down she had finally accepted that all she had gone through was real, and she had said she and Buffy would have a long talk when they got home.  In order to get away from the seeming ready to explode mother, Buffy had decided to wander away a little and came across Ryoga’s umbrella, which had fallen to the floor, taking some wall with it.  She looked at it, and shrugged.  She reached down with her right hand and picked it up, or rather tried.  Buffy’s eyes widened in shock and then put more effort into, slowly, bit by bit pulling it off the floor.  She used her second hand and soon had it pointing to the ceiling, but she was straining to keep it straight up.  She gasped, jaw dropping, and looked back at the piglet being cuddled and hugged.  The guy had swivelled and twisted it around with one arm as if the thing had weighed nothing.  She couldn’t believe it, and looked back at the massive umbrella.

*****

In the anointed one’s factory hideout, Spike was in his Drusilla’s arms, wincing still at the pain in his side.  It would take some time before the bones were healed.  It was the next day already, and a beam of light was filtering through a high window.  Next to Spike and Drusilla - a dark, and rather insane dark-haired vampiress - a metal cage hung on chains.

“A Slayer with family and friends, each - girls included - just as strong as she is, and a boy wielding a thousand pound umbrella like a match stick.  That was most assuredly bloody well not in the brochure, pet,” Spike muttered, still amazed at last night’s events.

“I know, Spaike,” Drusilla said stroking his hair.

“How’s the Annoying One?” Spike muttered looking at the child looking on his makeshift throne, a flunky vampire next to him.

“A little upset,” Drusilla practically rolled out of her mouth.

“Well, I’ll go make nice now,” Spike commented, and slowly walked over to the boy vampire, wincing with every step.  Reaching the boy, Spike kneeled down.

“You failed,” the boy stated.

“I know, I apologize and I offer penance,” Spike drawled out.

The flunky vampire yelled angrily, “Penance!?  You were impatient, our numbers are depleted!  You should give up your life!”

“Yes, well, there were some unforseen circumstances, and if I had to do it again . . .” Spike looked up, a smile suddenly on his face, and practically laughing out loud he said, “Who am I kidding!?  I would do it the exact same way, except . . .”  Spike suddenly got up, pushed the flunky aside and grabbed the boy putting him over his shoulder, saying, “I would do /this/ first!”  He walked over to the cage, the boy screaming.  Another flunky vampire tried to attack the bleached blonde, but with one single kick backward the vampire was dropped to the floor unconscious.  Spike dumped the Anointed One in the cage, wincing a bit at his broken bones. He slammed the cage shut, and went over to some more chains.  He started pulling and the cage went up and up, toward the beam of light, stopping just before.  “Now!” Spike called out loud, several vampires hidden away watching in morbid fascination.  “We’re going to have some less ritual around here, and some more fun!”  He then pulled one last time and the Anointed one was pulled into the light.  He screamed as he burned to death.

Drusilla smiled at the now empty cage, deliciously enjoying the death of the boy, and then swayed over to Spike, who returned to the middle of the room.  Spike embraced Drusilla, and said, “Now pet, let’s see what’s on the telly.”

“Spike,” Drusilla commented in approval and the two walked away, finding a tv.

~~~~10~~~~

Buffy watched as her still dazed and amazed mother just sat there at the table in the kitchen. She had taken in her whole story.  Willow, Giles, and Xander sitting around, corroborating it. “That is . . . that is . . .” Joyce muttered and then looked up at her daughter.  “I’d like a word with my daughter alone?”

Willow, Xander, and Giles nodded and left, leaving a very nervous Buffy.  Vampires, demons, and Snyder - she was so dead, her mother would lock her up and throw away the key. “You’re angry, aren’t you?” Buffy asked nervously, rubbing her hands together.

“No,” Joyce answered, making Buffy look surprised.  “I’m concerned, terrified, and a lot of other things, but not angry - well, not at you . . . have you tried . . . /not/ being a Slayer?”

“It doesn’t work that way, and yes, multiple times,” Buffy answered with a trembling lower lip.  “It’s just what I am, how I work, besides . . . Xander, Willow, Giles, and even that Lotion are fighting the vamps and stuff . . . how could I face them if the one given the super strength and meant to do so, doesn’t?”

Joyce sighed again, shaking her head, and said, “This is all . . . this all so much to take in.” Buffy pouted sadly.  “I guess I’ll have to get used to my daughter . . . there’s no way in hell I can ever get used to that.”

“Mom,” Buffy muttered pitifully.

“I’ll just have to accept it instead,” Joyce continued, looking into Buffy’s eyes.  “I’ll never like it, and I’ll be sitting here terrified for you Buffy.”  Buffy lowered her head; this had been one reason why she hadn’t told her mom, showed her proof while doing so - she didn’t want to worry her.  “I’m glad for one thing though,” Joyce went onward, making Buffy look up again.  “You kept your head cool in a crisis, came up with solutions, and continued to think about helping your friends and others.  When a mother finds out her child can handle herself, that’s a huge burden off her shoulders.”

Buffy brightened, and then hugged her mother, who hugged her right bag.  “Oh, what a moving sight.”  Joyce looked backward, and Buffy looked up, seeing a smiling Xander standing there in the door opening.  Willow and Giles joined her.  “Sorry,” he added, “I came to check if you were done already.”

“You can warm cold pizza in the refrigerator in the microwave, Xander,” Buffy told and Xander brightened right away.

“Magic words,” he said as he opened the fridge and went to look.  Joyce chuckled, Buffy joined in, and soon all but Xander laughed.  “What?” he asked, as held up a plate with a quarter pizza left on it.

*****

Buffy avoided the blow narrowly, and threw her own punch, getting tossed over Xander’s shoulder for her efforts.  She groaned as she landed hard on the mat Xander’s very own gym room.

“Get up, I’ll show you what you did wrong,” Xander said with a grin, and held out his hand. Buffy took it, giving Xander in workout gear a surreptitious and admiring look.  She was pulled up and came close to him, breathing in his sent - his sweaty sent, his very fresh, just generated by working out sweaty sent.  A bit away from her super sensitive nose picked it up easily, now standing so close it drove her mad.  God, he smelled so good.  Angel didn’t smell so good, she thought guiltily.  Angel didn’t sweat!  She pushed the guilt away, they were broken up after all, and then remembered Willow and a new wave of guilt crashed onto her. She looked into his smiling face and took gingerly step back, swallowing, he smelled so . . . manly, butch, like an incredible, fantastic, very active paragon of male fitness.  Xander stepped behind and grabbed her right arm, putting it the position she had it when punching. “You notice the its bent here?  That means people can get under it, you need put it more straight, and make less of a swing, you arm should be more in front of you instead of making a wide swing.  The wide swing can be successfully used for the extra power, but only if your opponent is in no position to make use of its weaknesses, got that?”

Buffy nodded, she got it, even though she was distracted by the sweaty muscled arm against her sweaty, slender, although still powerful arm, as well as the contact of his chest against her back.  This was so not fair, why the hell did her best friend, and best friend’s love interest have to get such a major hotness upgrade.  Banish it, banish, don’t think about it, he’s just your Xander-shaped friend - and what a shape - NO!

“Xander,” a sweet voice called.  Buffy’s eyes narrowed; that’s right focus on the annoyance, you’re annoyed, annoyed, annoyed.  There’s nothing here but annoyance - who am I kidding? She took in the sweaty and bouncy Lotion - bouncy in more ways then one.  “I can’t seem to be able to get this, could you help me?” Lotion asked, letting her hands rub suggestively across her upper thighs.

“Sure,” Xander said, and Buffy was damned if she couldn’t hear the smile in his voice.  A few moments later he was showing Lotion - not really showing, more like making her do the move, just touchy as he did with her.  Damn it, was Xander trying to make her jealous?  Well, it wasn’t working, for she was not jealous, she was /not/ jealous . . .

*God, I’m /so/ jealous!* Buffy thought depressed.  Of Willow, of Lotion, because that girl had actually managed to go on a date with Xander.  *I’m hopeless, and evil - evil, evil, evil!* Perhaps she should have before . . . nah, impossible; the moment Willow had said she was interested in Xander he had been off limits for Buffy’s according to her senses of honor . . . which hadn’t mattered much back then hadn’t it?  Because there had come the hot, dream, incredible Angel, Xander hadn’t been any more than a friend after that.  The pain of the break up with the vampire came back at that moment, but she squashed it away; there was no way she was going to turn into a blubbering mess right here in this training session.  Oh, right! Starting again. She started the very educational dance of violence with Xander again.  What would have happened if Willow didn’t have a crush on . . . *Don’t go there!  Evil, evil, evil! Just focus on now, there will be other guys!!*  Actual guys!  There was this nagging idea that Angel - and by proxy Xander - had been right about the whole 240-year-old vampire - 17-year-old Slayer just can’t work.  She hated that.

Finally the training session was over, and she was pretty certain she had gotten a lot better in the last hour of training.  That was a good thing though, she should try out some of this stuff on a vamp tonight, that would help her alleviate some stress.

*****

“Why do we have to go and eat /there/?” Xander asked in annoyance.  “Lotion turned out to be somewhat alright, but the devil woman is still evil.”

“No reason,” Buffy said with a smile.  Uh, uh, no reason at all.  Willow looked at Buffy with a questioning gaze, and then noticed Xander do the same to her.

“I don’t know,” Willow said with a shrug.  “She suggested it, or rather she and Cordelia.”

“Buffy convinced me,” Cordelia answered and gestured at the Slayer.

“Buffy?” Xander prompted again, but she didn’t answer.

They reached the entrance of Deo and Lotion’s restaurant, and stepped inside.  Xander’s eyes narrowed and then looked from Buffy to the scene.  Willow’s and Cordelia’s eyes opened appreciatively, while Buffy allowed just a tiny almost imperceptible smirk on her face.  There was the waiter, one Ryoga Hibiki, topless.  *Oh, yeah,* Buffy thought with a smile she quickly hid.  *Just as good looking as I thought he’d be.  If I can’t date Xander, I might as well find some other guy to lust after . . . that’s right, lust, he should keep my mind off of Xander long enough I’d say for Willow to capture his heart.  Oh, Willow!  If you’d know the torture I go through for you!*

“Ooh, I like the way you think, Buffy,” Cordelia said with a smile.  Of course, Ryoga wasn’t Xander, but he’d do in a pinch.  Willow had to nod at that, she may have the hots for Xander and Lexa, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t look around, right?

Xander and Ryoga’s gazes crossed, and Ryoga’s eyes widened.  “You!” he said, and then charged forward with two plates still in his hand.

“*Ryoga!*” Deo’s voice rang out, commanding, Ryoga stopped and turned around.  The people in the restaurant looked with large eyes at the spectacle.  “You go after him, and you’re fired.  You’ll have a tough time earning the money for boat fare back to Japan!”  Ryoga had some obvious difficulties controlling himself, then gave Xander a hateful glare and returned to waiting.  Xander looked from Ryoga to Buffy, and back again.  Oh, that was seriously annoying . . . wait a minute, that’s right, he wanted to make up to the guy anyway, and two could play Willow’s game.  That’s right.

The group sat down, and ordered their food.  When Ryoga came to put the orders in front of them, the girls were openly ogling him.  Xander sat there with annoyance.  They ate, the girls chatting happily on occasion trying to draw Xander in, but he stayed mostly quiet, trying to think of a way to get to Ryoga, then he grinned, thinking of a way.  “Let me tell you guys a joke,” Xander said as Ryoga came toward them to pick up their.  “There was this piglet and a farmer . . .”

The plates were shoved roughly under the girls noses, and Ryoga grabbed Xander by the collar and lifted him off his seat.  “You /dare/ mock me?” Ryoga hissed, while Xander saw Deo get angry behind the counter.

He gave Ryoga the most brilliant, and innocent smile, and said, “No, I was just trying to tell a joke . . .”

Ryoga growled and threw his hand back, readying a punch.  “RYOGA!” Deo’s voice yelled once more.  “I see you absolutely need this, but take it outside, whatever damage your fight causes in here, you will pay off first!”

The eternal lost boy looked over and then with a growl dragged Xander outside.  The three girls looked at each other, and then quickly followed them out.  Outside they saw Xander being tossed backward as Deo joined them to watch her future son in law in action.

Xander landed on his feet, looking at the boy.  He was strong, he knew, very strong.  If the guy could twirl that umbrella around like it was nothing.  He had to be very careful.  Xander jumped forward, and twisted aside of Ryoga’s angry punch.  Ryoga twisted along with him, parrying his blow.  Xander ducked beneath Ryoga’s follow up punch, grabbed his arm and made shoulder toss.  To his surprise Ryoga twisted around his axis himself and landed on his feet, immediately kicking out his right leg.  Xander gave out an oof as Ryoga’s foot crashed into his stomach and launched him back.  Xander landed on his feet, but had too much momentum backward so he stumbled back.  He was just in time to avoid Ryoga’s punch and swipe at his legs, which Ryoga jumped over.  Xander immediately went up in an uppercut. Ryoga groaned as the fit hit him underneath his chin just as he landed.  He went up in the air, and backward, making sure he landed on his feet.  Xander’s follow up punch Ryoga pushed aside leaving his chest open.  The lost boy then landed a powerful right on his chest, sending Xander flying back.  With a painful groan Xander made a backward somersault and landed, looking at Ryoga.  Damn, the guy wasn’t only strong, but he was also almost as good as Ranma.

Xander attacked again, the two combatants exchanging blows and parries, before Ryoga used a sharp kick to Xander’s mid section, and continuing up to his chin.  Xander couldn’t avoid the kick to his right abdomen, but he did moved his head just aside of the kick.  Xander lashed out at the same time hitting Ryoga hard on his outstretched legs.  Ryoga groaned and took a few steps back, eyeing Xander, who did the same with him.  Ryoga then attack, and Xander started the ‘Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire’ technique.  As fast as the fists were, they were useless if aimed at an empty spot.  Ryoga had twisted aside and rammed his left knee into Xander’s gut, doubling him over.  Then with a punch to the face, and a shove, Xander was lying at the foot of a tree.

With a scream of rage Ryoga came at him.  “I’m sorry, okay!?” Xander told him sincerely, interrupting Ryoga’s attack.  The guy looked down at him strangely.  “I mean, if I had remembered it were the cursed springs down there I would have caught you.  If it had been a lethal, or even a deep enough to seriously hurt, fall I would have caught you.  You have to believe that.  I have no interest in any kind of killing guy after me; I’ve got actual demons already trying to kill me.”  Ryoga stared down at him, anger in his face.  “Will you please except my apologies?  You know, forgiving is divine, or were that Twinkies?”

Ryoga’s mouth twitched for a moment into a smile at Xander’s joke, then growled and lowered his fist, saying, “Fine, it’s Ranma that’s the real bastard anyway, he didn’t even bother to apologize, he just tells me it’s /my/ fault.”

Xander got up, smiled, and said, “Great, friends then?”  Xander offered his hand, hoping the Japanese guy understood it.  Apparently he did because he grasped the hand and shook it powerfully.  “Awesome,” Xander said with a big smile and leant forward, and told him conspiratorially, “What do you think of the blonde?”

“WHAT!?” Ryoga exclaimed.

“Shh, what do you think?” Xander whispered.

Ryoga looked, then shrugged and said, “She’s no Akane.”

Xander’s smile broadened and said, “You know, love your friendship, but go after the blonde, and nicey nice is over.”

“Hey!  Who do you think I am!?  I don’t go after other guy’s girls - well, except Akane, but she strictly speaking isn’t his,” Ryoga protested with an insulted tone.

“I didn’t think you would, just so we’re clear on this subject,” Xander told him with the smile walking back over to the girls.

Deo looked at the ending with disappointed, then again, it seemed on top of martial arts skill son in law also had the skills of a diplomat.  Things just kept getting better and better.  When she left, Cordelia asked the other two girls, “What do you think Xander is whispering about?”

Willow shrugged, saying, “Beats me.”

*****

On their way back to school, Willow decided to ask, “Xander, how about training this afternoon, with Buffy along perhaps, and Lotion.  I hate to admit it, but the bitch is a good teacher.  Of course I’d like some input from the great, trans-sexual master.”  Everyone looked at her at that last proclamation.  “What?” she asked.

Xander shrugged and said, “Don’t you have to tutor that guy?”

Willow shook her head, and explained, “He and his father and mother were in the classroom with Deo.  I don’t know exactly what happened, but after that he switched schools.”

“You’re joking, right?” Cordelia asked, as she and Buffy stopped with surprise.

Willow stopped a little later and turned around, shaking her head.  Xander stopped another moment later, and then a car drove through a puddle of water next to him.  “ACK!” Lexa yelled out, and then looked down at her half-wet top clinging to her breasts.  “Damn you, you bastard!  Now I’m all wet!” she screamed after the car with a raised fist.  Her friends giggled at the newly changed girl, followed up by ‘naughty’ giggling.

“Huh?”

“Yep,” Buffy said.  “You’re so very /wet/.”

“Hmm, wet,” Willow said taking Lexa in.  The girl turned around, hmpfing, and walked on in irritation at the girls’ gutter minds.  A pretty hot guy walked by, Buffy and Cordelia took him in, while Willow stayed fascinated with Lexa’s swaying ass.  The guy passed Lexa and she quickly turned around, looking down.  Buffy’s eyes widened, then shook her head.

“Did you guys see that?” Buffy asked softly in shock.

“See what?” Cordelia asked.

“Nah, it can’t be,” Buffy said hopefully, softly.  She turned to the other girls, and said, “I mean, Xander is straight, Lexa is gay, so it can’t be right?  It just really can’t be.  I must have imagined it.”

“Imagined what?” Willow asked this time, an irritated Cordelia behind.

“Nah, I just imagined it,” Buffy said again, nodded to confirm then started after Lexa. Willow and Cordelia looked at each other, shrugged, and moved after the other two.

The three girls caught up with the former guy, and walked along side him.  “Training would be nice,” Buffy confirmed, and then added, “but I’ve got to be on time to pick up the exchange student guy at the bus depot this afternoon.  Late afternoon.”

“Guy!?” Lexa asked in shock.  “You get a /guy/ living with you for two weeks.”  Buffy nodded, Willow and Cordelia watching the exchange.  “No, no, no, I forbid it, guy in your room is a big no, no.  I mean, all the things he could get to see, and . . .”

“We /have/ a guest room,” Buffy told him amused.

“Ah, but shower . . .”

“I’ll lock the door,” Buffy answered her again.

Lexa slumped.  He had warded off one guy, now he gets another.  Perhaps he should play this guy’s girlfriend for two weeks?

*****

Later that day Lexa, Buffy and Willow were at the bus stop, all slightly sweaty from the workout and the walk over here.  “Ampata!?  Ampata!?  Are you here already?  We’re on time right?” Buffy asked the other two.

“Actually, we’re five minutes late,” Willow said looking around.

“Ampata!” Lexa called, for good measure adding a slightly seductive tone.

“Uh, yeah, I’m here!” a guy’s voice called and a guy emerged from behind a parked bus packed with a suitcase and a backpack.  Willow’s and Buffy’s eyes widened in appreciation, he definitely looked cool.

“Hey, I’m Buffy Summers,” Buffy greeted with a big grin.

“And /I’m/ Lexa Horne,” Lexa said walking over, chest out.  Ampata’s eyes found the bouncing masses of fat and flesh interesting.  “Let me help you with that,” Lexa said taking a hold of the big scare brown suitcase and lifting the side without wheels easily.  Ampata looked with wide eyes at the feet, and then back up at Lexa’s lovely brown eyes.  She brushed some hair back, smiled and said, “You know, your eyes are quite attractive, must be the dark down-south look.”

“Uh, thanks, I guess,” Ampata answered, smiling, while Buffy and Willow scowled at the scene with their arms across their chests.

~~~~11~~~~

“Cordelia!” her mother called out loud.  “Would you go and pick up the exchange student please.  He’ll be arriving in a short while at Sunnydale Private Airport.”

“Do I have to?” Cordelia whined with indignation.  “I’m just busy trying on my new blouse to test out combinations!”

“Now, Cordelia!” the mother commanded.  Grumbling Cordelia got up.

*****

Cordelia leant against the car annoyed, hands folded across her chest.  The plane had just landed, and now taxied to where she and her car was waiting.  Once it stopped a suave, brunet guy, in wide black pants, and - to Cordelia - a blue wide kimono-like top.  Horrible, he /so/ needed fashion lessons before she let him be seen with him.  She sighed, this was going to take time.  He hand a handsome, angular, almost too perfect face though . . . of course, he lacked the Xander quality.

He raised a wooden sword on his shoulder, which made Cordelia raise her eyebrows.  He neared her, took a slight bow, and said, “I am Upperclassman Kuno Tatewaki, Furinkan High’s Blue Thunder, kendo master, at your service fair lady.”

“Cordelia Chase,” Cordelia introduced herself bored.  “My parents are the ones who volunteered to have you spend time in my house for the duration of your visit.  Now, you can hopefully carry your own luggage, Kuno, because I’m not carrying anything.”

“Of course not, not such a delicate girl like you, Cordelia-chan, and the name is Tatewaki, not Kuno, we Japanese name our family name first.  HURRY UP!” Tatewaki said with a bow.

“Hey!” Cordelia said in protest.

“I apologize, not you great lady,” Tatewaki told her, and turned to the plane.  “Sasuke!  You lazy bum, hurry up!”

“Hai . . .” a squeaky voice called.

“And speak English, we are in America here, peasant boy!” Tatewaki called out with haughty irritation.

“I am sorry, master,” the voice called and then several stacked up suitcases with a set of small feet underneath appeared in the doorway of the plane.  After some squeezing the stack of suitcases and the little guy carrying them tumbled down the stairs, finally crashing on the ground, groaning.  Cordelia watched astonished as the little guy turned out to be wearing some kind of Ninja suit, and had two bunny teeth.

“You clumsy oaf!” Tatewaki called out in irritation.  He turned to Cordelia, and said, “I apologize for the ineptness off my servant, Cordelia-chan.”  Cordelia watched as Tatewaki then turned to his servant, kicked him once, and said, “Do I have to do everything myself!? Can’t I for /once/ leave something to you, and /not/ have you screw things up!?  Look how you make me look to the fair Chase-woman!”

“I am sorry, master!  I will gather everything quickly,” Sasuke groveled and promptly started picking up the four suitcases he had dropped.

Cordelia looked at the scene with wide eyes, thinking, *I’ve never been /that/ bad to any of our servants, or anyone else for that matter.*  On the one hand it was a good observation, on the other she was uncomfortable with her own acknowledgment that she treated servants and people ‘bad’.

“Master,” Sasuke said, “Are you certain Mistress Kodachi agreed with me going along with you?”

“Of course she did, don’t be silly, now move,” Tatewaki said, pointing the direction for his servant.

*****

Nerima, Tokyo, Japan.

Kuno Estate

“Sasuke!  Sasuke!  Where are you, you lazy servant!  I need to eat, it’s late!” Kodachi screamed out through the house.  She found herself in the kitchen, with a note lying on the table.  She picked it up, and read it:

Kodachi, my beloved sister, I took Sasuke with me on my student exchange trip to America.  I’m certain as a woman you can handle yourself on your own in the coming two weeks.

Your loving brother,

Tatewaki

“Tatewaki!!  You will pay upon your return for this infraction!!” Kodachi screamed with a balled fist swinging above her head.

*****

Deo’s restaurant

Lotion sighed with dreamy eyes.  Outside a guy arrived on a bike, and entered the restaurant. He parked himself in a table, and took the menu.  After reading through it, Lotion arrived and asked, “What I get for sir?”

“Ah, this seems tasty,” he said, and looked up into the green eyes, and beautiful brown hair, and fantastic figure in the sexy waitress uniform of Lotion.  Dazzled with her beauty, he looked at her as she wrote down his order.  He finally managed to take in her name tag, and said, “Lu-Xion, Lotion, what a beautiful name.  I’m Pike, Pike Ambrose, beautiful angel.”

Lotion gave a giggle, and said, “You very hungry man, I see.  Get food quickly.”  Lotion then walked away.

“What an angel, what a beauty, I came to see if Buffy . . . but, I’m in love with this hot- . . . what an incredible babe,” Pike muttered, utterly and completely in love.

Pike watched Lotion return with his order a few minutes later, and he started eating, keeping close attention to Lotion.  He watched her as she serviced other people with a grace and beauty that made him fall only deeper for the lovely girl.  Soon she had brought everyone just newly arrived their orders, and stayed behind the counter while she had nothing to do.  He heard her sigh once more, and she said softly, “Why so cruel!  Found great, great man, but he interested in pig-nosed girl.  Perhaps smash my nose in?”  At first Pike’s spirits crashed and burned, then they soared high again when he heard the guy had someone else.  “Xander my fiance, and now not want me.”

“WHAT!?” Pike called out in rage, getting up, and pushing the chair back.  Everyone looked at him, and then Pike walked over to Lotion.  “Are you telling me, this guy is your fiance but is chasing another girl!?”  Lotion nodded sadly.  “That- that- . . . evil- . . . son of a- . . .” Pike growled out.  “Someone who dares to do that to a beautiful, innocent girl like you!  He deserves punishment!  Who is he!?”

Lotion pulled out a picture of Xander smiling and showing his muscled arms, she, her mother, or someone had taken of him, and she said, “Xander Harris, greatest man alive.”

Pike took the picture, and imprinted Xander’s face in his mind, then said, “This guy shall pay.  Do you know where he is?”

Lotion blinked somewhat confused, and answered, “Sunnydale Highschool.  How much he owe you?  I willing- . . .”

“Plenty!” Pike said, dumped the money for his food on the counter and ran out the restaurant - having the audacity to seduce the beautiful Lotion, ask her to marry him, and then casually go out with other girls - this Harris owed him plenty indeed, and he would pay - with interest.

Lotion turned around put her head in the kitchen, and said, “Mother, Xander needs money.”

“Oh, you foolish child,” Deo said shaking her head.  “‘Making someone pay’ is an English expression, it means punishing someone for something, usually hurting them a lot by beating them up.”

“Oh!  Xander!” Lotion said in shock.

“Don’t worry, that fool won’t even be able to lay one finger on Xander,” Deo said with a smile.  Lotion sighed in relief.  “Unless he has a gun, shoots from afar, and has good aim,” Deo added suddenly realizing they were in America and the guy was a vagrant on a bike. Lotion sucked in a sudden breath.  Then Deo said, “Don’t worry, Lotion, I’m sure he doesn’t.” Lotion let out her breath, and once she was out of the kitchen, Deo said to herself, “Better make sure he doesn’t.”

Indeed, that night Deo found Pike sleeping in a sleeping bag, using the tank of his bike as a pillow, and she searched him, finding no gun, only stakes and crossbows.  Satisfied, she left Pike alone.

*****

Ampata was happy to be in America, and happy to be driven to school along with Buffy by her mom.  She could make an amazing breakfast, he had learned that morning.  Once out of the car though, he had become even more happy when the nice Willow, and the amazing, hot, incredible Lexa Horne joined them; wearing a short skirt, high heals, and a low-cut, bellybutton-showing blouse that had him practically drooling.  That she hooked her arm in his, and told him he looked so handsome made his head swell with pride, much to Willow’s and Buffy’s annoyance, but he didn’t notice that.

“Why th-thank you, Lexa, you look amazing yourself,” Ampata managed to get out.

“No . . . you really think so?  You flirt you,” Lexa told him with shy smile, making sure her breasts were prominently on display.  Buffy and Willow looked at the scene with more and more steamed faces.

“Sorry,” a guy said when he accidently bumped against Buffy.

“Hey!” Buffy said with annoyance, between Xander putting herself on display for Ampata and being bumped she was seriously pissed off.  She looked back at the guy just bumping past her like she was worth shit.  He was scanning the crowd intently, student per student.  “Now, you wait and . . .” Buffy halted and her three companions stood behind her, waiting expectantly as to why Buffy had suddenly stopped.  “Pike!?” Buffy asked in shock, recognizing him.

Willow’s eyes frown for a moment, and then widened, while Lexa and Ampata looked confused.  “/The/ Pike?” Willow asked in shock, “Your first boyfriend, not popularity politics?”

Buffy nodded.  Willow grew excited.  Ampata still looked confused, and Lexa’s face crunched up first in recognition and then in annoyance.  She still remembered the jealousy he had felt last year when Willow had pressured Buffy into spilling about her first boyfriend, and the gushing confession ‘how brave, and those eyes, and that goatee and . . .’ Ugh, it still made her sick.  A further glimpse of her thoughts would reveal, *Oh, just fucking great.  What is this anyway?  I get rid of the lying, pedophile, sicko vampire, and Buffy suddenly looks at Ryoga’s bare chest.  I make sure he’s out of the picture, and this fool comes along; I get rid of him, and her first love returns?  This ain’t normal!  Is she like a guy magnet or something?*  Lexa looked up at the sky for a moment, and thought darkly, *You hate me, don’t you!?  Don’t dare deny it!*

Pike though hadn’t recognized Buffy, he just kept scouring the students.  “Hey, Pike!  I’m here! . . . Hello, your ex-girlfriend Buffy Summers is right behind you, you know?  Did you came here for me?”

Pike finally acknowledged her - by putting his right hand over his shoulder in a halt-sign, and saying, “Not now, Buffy, this is important.”

*Yes!* Lexa thought breaking in a smile and having all eyes for Ampata again, as Willow and Buffy looked dumbfounded.

“Okay,” Buffy said softly, hurt, placing herself next to him, and asking.  “Slayer here, remember, I can help.  Are you looking for a vamp- . . . no: day - a demon then, a shapeshifter?”

“Worse,” Pike answered, while Willow looked panicked from Buffy to Ampata.  Obviously getting the cold shoulder from the first love she broke up with to start over with nothing reminding her of vampires, and as a result had cried for days as she had told Willow and Xander a year earlier, had thrown her for enough of a loop she had forgotten about Ampata.

Ampata looked with a frown up at Lexa, asking softly, “Demons?”

While he did that, Buffy’s brow furrowed in confusion, and asked, “Principal Snyder?”

Lexa answered the Latin boy, “Ah, Sunnydale slang for a real bastard, not an /actual/ demon of course, ‘cause that would be crazy.”  She added a fake chuckle, and Ampata smile, apparently buying the bullshit.

“Don’t be such highschool girl, Buffy, I’m here looking for a guy, one specific guy, and I will make him pay,” Pike said and then left Buffy and her friends behind.

“What was that about?” Buffy asked perturbed at Pike casually leaving her behind.

“He’s a bastard, a bum, and a biker, he wears cow skins,” Willow supplied meanly, and Buffy looked at her.  Willow shrugged and wrapped Buffy in a hug.  “He’ll come apologize, or you kick his ass,” Willow said with comfort, and Buffy nodded sadly, but happy in the hug.

*****

“Pig-nosed girl!!  Willow!” Lotion called out loud, as the four of them walked through Sunnydale High’s crowded corridors, Willow trying to comfort the blonde - who instead of the usual getting angry, just became more depressed.  Lotion caught up as they turned, and she said, “Have you seen Xander?  Oh, girl-type.”

“Girl-type?” Ampata asked once more in confusion.  America was such a strange place. Lexa just made a point at Lotion, and then circled the same finger next to the temple of her head.  Ampata then looked back and took in the other, /another/, beautiful, sexy girl, in rather figure-hugging clothes, but completely unlike any of the other clothes he had seen girls wear. America may be a strange place, but it was a blessed place.

Meanwhile Lotion took in Lexa’s attire, all skirts and feminine, no real way she could be Xander anytime so, so the threat of the guy of yesterday was rather slim.  “Uh, then not important, I guess, uh, well, see you later, I have other class, bye,” Lotion then turned around and walked off, muttering under her breath, “Stupid Pike on bike - he shoots my Xander I will kill.”

“What was that all about?” Willow wondered in confusion.

“I have no idea,” Buffy muttered in confusion and looked up at Lexa.

“Well, don’t look at me,” Lexa said with unknowing tone.  “Go ask her.”

“Let’s just go on,” Willow suggested and the group turned around.  “We finished telling you about . . .”

“Buffy!  Willow!  Lexa!”

“What now?” Buffy asked defeated and saw Cordelia, her sheep, and a guy in white and blue leather jacket, and in blue jeans come around the corner.  He actually wasn’t that bad looking, if one forget the arrogant look in his eyes, and his /way/ over-styled wavy hair.  Ampata’s eyes widened as the five girls, each just has hot, as the girl that had just left appeared on his eyes. Only this heavenly creature that had taken such a liking to him was sexier.  He was seriously considering moving to America permanently.

“Buffy, how are you, oh, is this your exchange student, kind of a chump isn’t he, although he does have the Latin thing going for him,” Cordelia said taking in Ampata, hating the fact that Buffy had gotten just a hot guy as she, but worse that Lexa, or rather Xander was fawning over the guy, instead of being Xander and fawning over her.  The Cordettes nodded, looking around to see if they could spot the Cordelia-outed hottest guy in America, who in his female guise felt nervous remembering a few days earlier them chasing him in the mall.  “Now, if you take mine, just look at . . .”

“LEXA, MY LOVE!” a voice screamed, pissing off Cordelia at the interruption.

“Oh, no, not him again,” Lexa muttered, and turned around.  The guy in his red football jacket, holding a large bear in his hand was already close by.  Everyone - Willow, Ampata and Buffy with large eyes - looked at the guy step resolutely up close.  Lexa realized Ampata could actually come in handy.

“My love, I’ve bought you this great token of my appreciation, every girl likes a huggable bear.  Go with me to the costumed dance,” Deke Fisher asked Lexa.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but already got my huggy, snuggums, bear,” Lexa said sweetly, hugging Ampata closely into her breasts, steaming Willow, Buffy and Cordelia greatly.  “This is Ampata, Buffy’s exchange student, for the next to weeks we shall have a passionate, incredible love affair that is worthy of songs, operas even.  Then he will return home, and we both will be heartbroken.  It will the kind of love affair that those fantastic romantic movies are made about, that has every girl weeping throughout the movie, and on the ride back home.  You understand, don’t you, Deke?  For the next two weeks, you’re not even a blip on my radar, I will only have eyes for my great, immortal love, so you might as well give up for the next two weeks, and try to cash in on my heartbroken state afterwards.”  Everyone looked at Lexa in shock, apart from Ampata who just smiled contently between her breasts.  Lexa had thought that kept the halfwit of her back for two weeks, nothing would be further from the truth.

“WHAT!?” Deke yelled out in anger.  “Stupid Latin bastard, isn’t here for a whole day and he’s already stealing, red-blooded Americans’ girlfriends.  You will pay for this, you bastard.  I will pound into the ground for this, slam and tackle . . .”  Ampata looked fearful, Lexa, Willow and Buffy annoyed, the first ready to beat the crap out of Deke if he dared lay a finger on the exchange student - the footballer was truly stupid.

 Deke took a step forward, but defense came from a very unexpected source.  A wooden Katana was placed in between the girls and the football fool.  “Stand back, peasant,” Tatewaki said with a superior air.  “It’s obvious the lovely lady has lost her heart to my fellow exchange student.  I, as heir to the Kuno estate, and thus having good manners, cannot let you harbor ill will to their happiness, however short they both know it will be.  To wish to burden a young woman’s heart with even greater ill in a knowingly doomed love affair, can only come from the lowest of the low.  If you had grace, you would have waited the short while.”

Deke of course, would not take such insults.  “*DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?*” Deke snarled in rage.

“Indeed, a pig with no manners, and no control over his liquids,” Tatewaki answered calmly, superiorly wiping away a drop from his left shoulder, the little display now having gathered a huge crowd, watching at the spectacle with wonder, secretly placing bets on who would win.

“*WHAT!? /AAAIII/ am Deke Fisher, Sunnydale High’s Red Streak Star Quarterback! No one dares to insult me like this!” Deke hissed out in rage.

“I see, not only are you a pig with no matters, you are also an untalented, unskilled peasant, wearing a ridiculous armor and helmet, running around after an oval-shaped, leather thing like a chicken without a head,” Tatewaki sated far superiorly, having many students, especially those not interested in sports snicker, even Cordelia, this time actually loving the superior attitude.  Willow, Buffy, Lexa and Ampata just looked with disbelief.  “Then you should know, that /I/ am Tatewaki Kuno, Furinkan High’s Blue Thunder, kendo master extra-ordinaire, four time consecutive winner of the Tokyo district kendo championships.  I could turn you into shis kebab with his wooden sword without having to open my eyes.”

With a roar Deke attacked, and found himself a moment later crashed painfully against the lockers, groaning as the wooden sword pushed into his left shoulder, and dropping the bear on the floor.  “I suggest you leave while I am still in good spirits, low class scum,” Kuno stated calmly, with a roar of approval from every nerd in the vicinity.

Buffy though had finally reached her fill with male testosterone around her.  First there was Ampata drooling after Lexa, who was Xander, then Pike’s brush off, and now this.  “THAT’S IT!!” she screamed in utter anger, stepping in between the two.  “You are a fool, Lexa wouldn’t date you if her life depended on it.  And you!”  Buffy pushed Tatewaki hard enough he stumbled backward into the lockers on the other side of the hall.  “You Japanese, macho sexist!  You just have to interfere and come to the rescue the ‘little girl’, huh?  Well, I have you know, Lexa could have handled this easy herself, she would have kicked his, /and/ your ass!”  Buffy turned around in anger, with Tatewaki following her with his eyes astonished. “Come on, guys!  We’ve got a class to get to, and this place stinks of testosterone!”  Willow nodded, in agreement.

Lexa said, “But it’s the first time a guy stood up for me . . .” Buffy and Willow glared at him, and he shut up, quickly placing Ampata between him and the other two, hugging him close.

The group of students dispersed, Deke rubbed his shoulder and giving a glare at Tatewaki he left, taking the bear with him, and grumbling about revenge.  Cordelia and her Cordettes rejoined with Tatewaki as he stepped out in the corridor.  Cordelia said, “Well, I think it’s refreshing for a change, a man with some gallantly left.”  Her minions nodded dutifully.

Tatewaki’s gaze though, was focused on the retreating form with golden hair of Buffy Summers.  He smiled brightly, feeling as if the Gods’ shiny radiance itself reflecting off her hair.  “What a girl, what beautiful eyes, what cheekbones,” he took a step forward, as Cordelia and co looked from him to the retreating foursome.  “Such golden locks, those penetrating, deep, yet soft eyes, such beauty . . . no!  I can’t!  I mustn’t!  What would Akane say!  Or the pig-tailed girl!  I mustn’t, I shouldn’t!  I can’t cheat on my eternal loves, I . . . shall . . .” Tatewaki then raised his right hand holding his kendo sword high in the air, crying out like a wounded animal, “Curse this heart of mine!”  He sank to his knees, tears forming in his eyes, saying again, “Curse this heart that has so much love to give!  Who is she!?”

Cordelia looked at the guy with a dropped jaw; this was nuts even for her.  “Huh?”

“The short-statured, golden-locked, blonde angel from heaven,” Tatewaki asked with pain in his eyes.

“Buffy?  Buffy Summers?  The girl that pushed you around?” Cordelia asked in shock.

“Yes!  Buffy Summers!  My love, my eternal sunshine!  I love thee for now and ever!  I must make you mine, no Akane, or the pigtailed girl!  I’m a cursed individual with such a heart!” Tatewaki cried out, and then stood up gently.  “I shall have to live with this, make the right choice, indeed.”  He then walked forward, a few moments later followed by a dumbfounded Cordelia and her sheep.

*****

Outside, Pike sat on the ground, leaning against a tree, looking angrily at the school.  “Figures, that a bastard like that would cut classes,” he said pissed off.  “No matter, sooner or later he will come to school, and then he’s mine.”

~~~~12~~~~

At lunch time the five of them were sitting at a table.  Buffy, Lexa, Willow, Ampata and Lotion.  For once, Lotion wasn’t the one being glared at.  This time it was Lexa and Ampata, because the first was overly clingy to the latter.  While Lexa was cutely feeding Ampata, Tatewaki coolly swaggered over, holding a bush of flowers.  Everyone looked at him in surprise, even more so when he knelt down right in front of Buffy.  He held out the bush of flowers and said, “Beautiful Buffy Summers . . .”  Lexa narrowed his eyes at him in utter frustration.  If it wasn’t the ex-boyfriend, it was this fool.  Willow and Lotion looked surprised, and Buffy did along with a tinge of flattery.  “. . . I, Tatewaki Kuno, have looked upon your splendor, and have beheld the sparkling of the sun.  Accept this token of affection, will you please date me.”

Buffy looked at him with mouth agape, flattered, but not attracted to the guy.  Two other men held her attractions - or rather one man and one vampire.  “Ah, uh, Tatewki, I-uh, I’m very flattered, but-uh . . . I’m sorry, I’m already interested in somebody else.”

Tatewaki’s head fell, and then he looked up, saying with tears flowing from his eyes, “Oh, cruel, cruel fate, why dost thou bestow this upon me.”  Wailing he lunged forward and grabbed Buffy around her waist, pressing his head against her breasts, and while he rubbed it back and forth he said, “Oh, gorgeous Buffy, please, change your mind.  I shall make your life easy, I will love you . . .”

At the moment Tatewaki hugged her and pressed his head to her breasts, everyone - which included Buffy and the rest of the people in the lunchroom - looked at his action shocked. Then Buffy screamed, drowning out Tatewaki’s speech,  “AAAAH!!! He’s . . . he’s . . . aaah!”

Lexa got up, and slammed her fist in the back of Tatewaki’s head, making him bite his tongue, and then jump up with a cry of pain.  Buffy hugged herself, shivering, and Willow quickly went over to comfort her.  Lexa and Tatewaki stood across from each other, the latter holding the back of his head in pain.  “You perverted, son of a- . . .” Lexa started growl, while the lunchroom looked on, including Ampata who looked with large eyes.

Tatewaki forcefully interrupted her, pulling out his wooden katana, and hissed, “You cheap, crude girl!  How dare you come between me and my eternal love!?”  Lexa gave a growl, and Tatewaki charged, stabbing his blade forward to fast it was a blur.  Lexa side stepped, her arm over the blade and punched Tatewaki in his gut, doubling him over with a groan.

With a roar of rage she added an uppercut.  He shot up into the air, and crashed through the weak ceiling.  “Familiar . . .” he muttered as he flew upward, and then he groaned in pain as he crashed with his back into the ceiling above that, stayed put.  “Not familiar . . .” he muttered breathlessly and fell back down.  “Aah!” he said, slamming painfully back onto the floor, staying down on his stomach.  “Sturdy ceilings over here,” he muttered and then slumped further.

Everyone looked at the out-cold, Japanese guy, while Lexa crushed her teeth, muttering, “That chauvinistic Neanderthal, perverted pig, sickening bastard.”  She then reached down and grabbed him by his hair, pulling his upper body up.  She turned to a calmed down Buffy, and he said loudly, “Come on, Buff, for once that troll Snyder can do something /for/ us instead of against us.”  As Lexa started walking, dragging the half conscious Kuno along, Buffy nodded and got up.  Quickly followed by the rest of the group and some other people having been witness, not wanting to miss this for anything.

Lexa dragged him into Principal Snyder’s office.  “What’s the meaning of this!?  Summers, you- . . .” the troll started snapping.

“Quiet!” Lexa snapped back and dumped Kuno in a chair where he slowly started coming around.  “That bastard here molested Buffy there.  What are you going to do about it?”

“Summers, what did you do to provoke this poor exchange student!?” Snyder yelled at Buffy.

“WHAT!?!?!?” all the students screamed at Snyder who backed up at the outburst.

Lotion stepped forward and snarled, “Pig-nosed girl did nothing but say no to date, and curd attacked her.  Are you saying, men have right to molest, when girl says no to date!?”

Willow and everyone looked at her, all somewhat thinking along the same lines, ‘She’s got some female pride after all.’

With folded arms, Lexa added, “And he’s not poor, he said he was the ‘heir to the Kuno estate’.”

“Uhm, uhm . . . I’m sure you misunderst- . . .” Snyder started.

“It’s true!  I didn’t misunderstand anything, he just pushed his face in my breasts for no reason,” Buffy told him angrily.

“They’re telling the truth, Principal,” Jenny Calendar said, entering the office.  “I saw it happen too.”

Snyder groaned, annoyed that he couldn’t bust Buffy for this.  “I will reprimand him, now out!”

The students left his office, and Snyder took in the once more clear-headed Kuno.  “Now, young man,” Snyder told the Japanese rich kid.  “You listen here.  You cannot go around grabbing girls.  I do not know how things go in your country, but here that is a big no-no.  You do this again, I will have no other choice but to call the police, and someone up in the hierarchy will undoubtedly come get you from prison and ship you back to . . .”  Snyder frowned, shifted to a few of his pages, and having found the right one, he added, “. . . . Japan.”

“I apologize deeply for the infraction, it will not happen again, I promise,” Tatewaki said, and took a bow after getting up.  Snyder then let him go, grinding his teeth in annoyance.

*****

By the end of school day they came across Pike still sitting at the tree.  “Pike?” Buffy asked him.

“Huh?” Pike answered.

“What are you still doing here?” Buffy asked him concerned, and somewhat pained.

“Waiting for a guy,” Pike answered.  Buffy hesitated for a moment, and then she and her friends walked on.  Only Lotion stayed behind.

Once they were out of earshot, Lotion said, “You not shoot Xander.”

Pike looked up at her, and said, “Huh?”  Then what she said registered, and he said, “Of course not, my beautiful Angel!  I don’t even own a gun.  All I’m going to do is talk, and if that doesn’t work, beat some sense it into him, so he’ll marry you, and you can be happy!”

Lotion blinked at that, processed it, and then said, “Oh, well, you do that.”  Lotion then walked away smiling; with a bit of luck the guy would succeed in the talking sense part.

*****

Willow was home already.  Lexa, Buffy and Ampata reached Buffy’s house, and they walked up to the door.  Lexa said goodbye to Buffy, telling her not to forget training that night, and to Ampata with a kiss on the cheek, and waved them inside.  Once they were from sight, Lexa turned around and walked back down the path.  Once he reached the height of the tree he walked over to it and smashed his palm into it.  “Whoa, whoa, waaaahh!!”  With a dull sound a small man holding a camera lay on the ground.  He was wearing an odd approximation of a ninja suit, that didn’t manage to cover his face and was a dull purple instead of a more likely black.

“Who are you, and /what/ are you doing here?” Lexa asked him with narrowed eyes.

Shivering the little guy spoke, “I’m Sasuke Sarugakure, and . . . and . . .”

Lexa snatched the camera from him and looked at him with narrowed eyes.  “I do believe Cordelia told me Kuno had a ninja for a servant,” she said as she examined the camera.

The little guy went to his knees and said, “Master Kuno did indeed send me.  Please return my camera.  If I don’t succeed I’ll be punished.”

“He asked you to take nude pictures of Buffy!?” Lexa hissed in anger.

“Not nude pictures, just a few so he could admire her!” Sasuke pleaded desperately.  Lexa growled and crushed the camera with one hand.  “No!” Sasuke called out in horror.

 Lexa grabbed him by his head, lifted him up, and kicked him away like a football.  She called after him, “If you want to make pictures make them while she walks on the street, that way you don’t have to hide either, asshole!!!”

“That annoying little,” Lexa hissed, as she started walking to her home.  “Now, let’s see, should I kick Kuno’s ass for this, or does he just have an inept and perverted little servant?” she wondered.

*****

“Yah!” Buffy screamed as she threw her punch.  It deflected off of Xander’s upper left hand and he twisted into her defense.  She jumped back, but he attacked onward.  She deflected a blow from him, and grabbed his next punch.  He went down though, much to her shock, hitting her legs just above her knees twice with a rapid succession of four kicks with his right leg, making her groan in pain and wobble imbalanced.  Then he placed both his feet in her stomach while he still shoved forward, and pulling her along by the hand that was meant to be holding him.  She felt his energy accumulate at his feet on her stomach, and she muttered, “Oh, boy.”  A moment later she was launched across Xander’s small gym, only to smack painfully against the wall.   “Ow,” she said as she slid down and landed on her back and side.

Xander chuckled as he came walking over, taking in Buffy again: her tight workout top left her bellybutton bare, and the tight workout pants were slick in parts with sweat..  Offering his hand he said, “You’re getting a lot better, Buffy.”

“Easy for you to say,” Buffy muttered, taking Xander in.  His shorts left his legs bare, his muscled legs, and the shirt was sleeveless - only two straps over his shoulders, allowing her to see his muscled arms and the upper part of his chest.  He looked good enough to eat.  She grabbed his hand and let herself be pulled up.  At the same time she rubbed her sore head, and asked, “Before this, all the martial arts I was taught I did in an instant.  But now I still keep getting my ass kicked.  Any ideas why that is?”  She looked up at him, straight in his very close smiling face and chocolate brown eyes.  His scent assaulted her senses, his ver sweaty sent, his oh so masculine sent, and now she was captured by his eyes too.  *Bad Buffy!!  Look away, look away - damn, those eyes,* she thought feeling a tingling in her gut, and slowly starting to spread.

Xander shrugged, and said, “Like I told you, you aren’t as skilled as you think you are.  You were fast though, so I guess those who weren’t as fast and couldn’t follow, thought you and Slayers before you were very good.  Plus, don’t you have those dreams that are memories of previous Slayers?”  Buffy nodded, feeling her lips quirk up, captivated by his explanation, or was it just him.  Her eyes flicked for a moment to his muscled arms, with just a light film of sweat on them.  She felt the tingling go down toward . . . oh, no, Willow, think Willow! Xander continued, “I guess that means you’ve got access to their skill as well, before you just got theirs.  Now you’re being taught something no Slayer before has done; it will take time even for you, although you’re definitely going faster anyone else would, and a lot faster than I am if that hyena spirit hadn’t dumped a shitload of chi in my body.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Buffy muttered, thinking, *Look away, look away.*  She breathed in through her nose, and his sent assaulted her senses again.  *Oh, god!*  No!  She just /couldn’t/ get wet right now.  She just couldn’t grow that aroused.  She fidgeted, feeling the tingling spread, her nipples harden.  *Oh, no, don’t step closer,* Buffy thought as Xander got a little closer.  She took a step back.

Xander was looking into her eyes.  Those beautiful deep pools of blue, that cute nose.  God, she was so sexy, so beautiful.  She chewed her lip, he didn’t know why, but it only made her look all the more sexy.  What was that look in her eye?  Was it the same attraction he felt?  He felt a nervousness in the pit of his stomach, felt himself grow erect.  So close the sent of her sweat assaulted his nose.  She smelt so good, so incredibly arousing; a hint of something he hadn’t ever smelled before.  “Buffy,” he said softly, while he saw her head shake left and right just a tiny little bit.  Of its own accord his right arm moved around her waist.

*Oh, god!  No!  Willow!  I can’t do this!* Buffy thought desperately while she felt herself grow more and more aroused, felt butterflies flutter in her stomach, the same butterflies she felt around Angel, only less powerful - except, except, were they growing stronger for Xander by the moment?  Yes, they were!  And they were fueling her sexual arousal even more. Hearing him say her name just now had sent chills down her spine, so much promise in that one word, just her name.  And his arm wrapping around her waist, part of her body just automatically leaned into it.  She shouldn’t!  She shouldn’t!  Damn, why felt that arm so good, the muscles pushing against the small of her back.

Xander pulled her a little closer, and said with a husky voice that raised Buffy’s spirits even more, “I’m in love you with you, have been for a very long time.”  A moment later his lips touched hers, while she had her arms tightly between them, the only defense for Willow she could muster.  His lips felt searing hot, passionate, hungry.  His tongue entered her mouth, hot, wet, and demanded her tongue’s attention.  She felt herself grow hot throughout in an instant, as a tiny part of her kissed back just a bit.  This was so different than kisses with Angel; he was cold, perhaps he could even be called clammy.  This was a raging inferno of passion she had never felt before.  Not with the boys that had been prestige dates for popularity, and not even with Pike.  She supposed she had never trained with him like this, never had her inner Slayer fighting passions so stimulated before kissing him.  She often found herself . . . ‘needy’ after a fight, and she had guessed it was the Slayer inside her, not herself.

Oh, god, her panties had to be drenched, judging by what she felt down there.  She’d never been this aroused before, not /before/ she started ma- . . .  *No!  Don’t think like that! Willow!  Can’t hurt Willow!  Willow, your friend!*  She broke the kiss reluctantly.  The two teens looking deeply into each other’s eyes, eyes filled with passion, love and /lust/.  Buffy shook her head.  Her eyes widened with shock as she felt a /bulge/ press against her, followed by a new burst of lust inside her own body.  “W-we can’t, Xander,” Buffy said, trying to walk back, but he kept her put.  “Willow- . . .”

“ . . . I love very, very much, but I’m not in love with her,” Xander answered her, his breath quickening.  Dang, he wondered, since when was he such a smooth-talker?  He was certain he’d be stuttering the first word normally, except this wasn’t normal was it?  He was burning with passion, and so was she, and he just needed this, /now/, and it just spilled out - he wasn’t thinking, he was just doing.  “I’m not her boyfriend, Buffy.  Is it fair too keep her best friends miserable just because she’s got a thing for one of them?”

Damn, that was some logic.  Buffy looked desperate.  She wanted him.  She wanted Xander Harris!  And she wanted him now!  “Will- . . .” she managed to get out before Xander placed another searing, hot passionate kiss on her lips, and further behind them.  *I’m sorry, Willow, Angel,* she thought, feeling her hunger grow by the moment. *I can’t resist.*  She grabbed his shirt and yanked it over his head, forcing the two of them apart.  Throwing his shirt aside, she admired his chest with a light covering of hair for a fleeting moment, and then looked up in his eyes.  A moment later her top went flying, and while kissing each other hungrily they pulled down each other’s pants at the same time maneuvering to the middle of the small gym. They paused to untie their laces, then - kissing again - kicked them off and their pants followed.

He wore briefs under his light work out pants, boxer shorts being too cumbersome with basically another pair of boxers above them.  Their hungry kissing continued as they sank against each other down to the floor.  God, his chest hair rubbing against her nipples and breasts felt so good.  When they were on their knees they pulled off each others remaining underwear.  His briefs went quickly.  He held her wet panties up, smiling at her, and she looked embarrassed for a moment.  Then he tossed them aside and pulled her down to the matt, kissing her hungrily, letting his hands roam over her body.

Her grabbed her breasts and stopped for a moment.  *I’m holding Buffy’s breasts!* he thought with a shock, getting nervous.  Her needy moan, and one hand rubbing his chest, his pecks, and the other encouragingly grabbing his back, snapped the nervousness right back out, as his fiery passion returned with a vengeance, setting him aflame.  Her rubbed, and massaged her orbs, kneaded them.

“Mmh,” she moaned, that felt nice.  Then he went down with his hands, while his mouth came down, kissing and licking her breasts and nipples, drawing more moans from Buffy.  His hunger was too great to let him linger.  He moved down, kissing and licking her taut belly, her bellybutton and further down, until his nose fully took in the sent of her wetness.

*So that’s that delicious smell,* he thought, hesitated at her tight, virgin vagina.  He looked at the swollen lips, extended from each other just a bit.  For a moment he hesitated, growing nervous.  How did he know what he was doing?  He might hurt her instead of give her pleasure.  The hesitancy disappeared with the intake of his next breath.  Her smell was just too irresistible.

Buffy felt her own attack of nervousness when Xander hesitated.  This was her first time! Should it be like this?  Not in a romantic hotel, with candles?  Such lust?  Was she a slut? Perhaps . . . She groaned, and then moaned out, “Oh, Xander!  That’s oh . . . ah, so good!” His tongue was heaven, licking between her lips, licking up her juices.  The concept that he was doing it, and the pleasurable sensation blasted away whatever doubts she had.  This was right, perfectly right!  She put her hands in his hair and pushed him down, bucking up when he sucked at her slit, and then licked up flicking alongside her clit.  She shuddered with the pleasure, moaned out encouragements.  His fingers rubbed across her outer lips, while his tongue licked, and rubbed her clitoris.  “YES!  Oh, god, that feels good!  Don’t stop!” Buffy screamed out in the throws of passion, bucking her hips against his face.  His fingers penetrated her inner core, stimulating the walls, more juices gathered for the ultimate purpose.

Xander gave her clit an appreciative, hungry suck, but then moved down to lap up her delicious juices.  Did she really taste like strawberries?  It seemed that way, he thought, while he heard Buffy complain he had left her clit and should get back to it.  He pushed his tongue deep inside alongside his fingers and scooped up the liquids.  Taking a deep breath through his nose, and the taste in his mouth . . . he needed to plunge into her.  His erection was painfully hard, he /needed/, had to, /NOW/!

“Please don’t stop!” Buffy almost wailed when Xander pulled away, looking down at him. Her hand had moved to her vagina, rubbing her own clit.  He was on his knees, and she now for the first time saw his raging erection.  Her eyes widened as she realized what he intended to do.  Her first time, and it was big, and her so small.  Her vagina protested at that notion with an upward buck as her finger gave her clitoris a particularly good rub.  The hungry, lustful, passionate and deeply loving look in Xander’s eyes dispelled her newest nervous attack.  God, did he look hot, with those fantastic muscles as he crawled over her, like a cat ready to devour her.  She wanted him, /needed/ him inside her, and she needed it /right/ /now/! “Take me,” she pleaded hotly, pulling her outer lips open for him, as his head came level with hers.  “Take my virginity.  I want you too.”

This was incredible to Xander’s mind.  Something urged him to not think of it, to just do want both of them wanted.  He gave her a hungry kiss, making her taste herself on his lips and tongue.  It felt so deliciously naughty to Buffy, tasting her own juices.  She had once licked her fingers clean after a particular arduous patrol had left her too needy to resist, just to test it out and had had to admit it wasn’t so bad, but to this, there was a whole other level of delicious enjoyment of it.

Xander placed himself at the tip of her vagina, rubbing down, making Buffy shudder when the tip of his penis rubbed her clit.  He had taken a good look while he was down there, and coupled with his raging instinct to penetrate, he quickly found the right hole a little lower. Her lubrication made his head easily slip in, making her gasp as she felt her flesh being pushed apart a bit.  He looked at her then, into her eyes, and she looked back into his; a desperate kind of lust mixed with a little fear in her eyes.  “Don’t worry,” he told her softly. The words had just slipped out, and then he pushed forward, groaning with the pleasure of feeling her tight flesh pushed along his shaft.

Buffy gasped.  This was incredible!  It felt so good to feel his penis - his cock - enter, stretching her open, and it didn’t hurt at all.  Then she felt him bump against an obstruction. She looked up at him, and he smiled at her.  This was it!  She was going to lose her virginity, and she wanted to.  She grimaced a little in preparation; this was probably going to hurt.  She felt the pressure increase, and she squinted closed her eyes, he stopped.  “Relax,” he told her, and she opened her eyes in surprise.  “I could feel you squeeze around me; felt damn good, but I don’t you want to be that tense.”  Xander looked down at her, remembering once reading about better not being tense at this juncture in one of Willow’s girly magazines and he and Jesse giggling about it and teasing Willow mercilessly about it.

Buffy nodded, relaxed a bit, still a little fearful and then breathed out, “Take me.”  Without warning the pressure rapidly increased, there was a quick snap that made her groan, and then she felt him go deeper steadily, slowly.  “Oh!” she said, it hadn’t hurt at all.  But this!  “Yes, deeper,” she whispered hotly, feeling him hold her in place as he sank deeper and deeper. “Oh, this is good, this feels so good, deeper, Xan!”  Xander nodded, and then sank into her fully with a little extra speed, making her groan.

Once against her, he started kissing her again, hungrily, passionately, wrestling with her tongue as she did with his.  He rose, and thrust back in again, starting slow, but rapidly increasing his speed.  Buffy groaned, kissed him deeper, started bucking back.  Her hands she placed in the small of his back, and pulled him down with every down stroke.  Then her hands went further down and grabbed his ass, appreciating its firmness.  Xander’s left hand wrapped around her back, his right into her shoulder-length golden locks - the sensation of her soft hair against his fingers was amazing.  Her nipples rubbed against his chest, being tickled by his hairs there.  She liked the view of clean shaven better, but she wondered if it felt his good.

The feeling of her flesh so tightly wrapped around his hardon was amazing, and was rapidly taking its toll on him.  He broke the kiss, fucked into harder, and said, “Oh, oh, god.  You’re so tight!  You feel so good, Buffy!”

“Yes, yes, you too, oh, god!” Buffy moaned out, bucking back.  The sensation of him now pretty much pounding deep inside her, sliding along the walls of her inner core, eliciting all kinds of amazing sensations, was utter pleasure.  Whenever he reached the apex of his thrust, his pelvic area mashing against hers, against her clit, shudders and ripples of bliss shot through her.  She didn’t want this to ever stop, and she said so, “Don’t stop, oh, god please don’t stop.”

“I . . . I can’t keep this up much longer, you feel too good,” Xander moaned out, increasing his pace even more, a instinctual need to drive everything he was into this fantastic girl below her.

“Hold on,” Buffy moaned, shaking her head up at him.  “Hold on, please Xander, I’m- . . . uh, oh . . . yes . . . mmmh, cl- . . . close too.”

Xander nodded and thrust further, closing his eyes.  But the erotic sounds coming from Buffy were now driving him onward, and when he had his eyes open it was the look of ecstasy on her face.  This was just, she was just . . . He had an idea.  Removing his right hand from her hair, he moved it down, and down between their bodies.  Finding her clit, he started to flick and rub it.  Buffy’s eyes flew open as the thrusting continued, and her clit sent delicious tendrils of pleasure through her body.  She got closer, and closer, much more rapidly.  “YES! OH, GOD YES, DO THAT!” Buffy yelled out with desire, looking deeply into his eyes.

The newly added more powerful erotic sounds, and wiggling of her body made it even harder for Xander.  His body seemed to start thrusting harder of its own accord.  He couldn’t do this anymore, it was just too . . . “Buffy,” he groaned out and thrust harder, much harder, much faster.  Buffy bucked up against him, moaning out her pleasure.  Just as he couldn’t take anymore he yelled, “Buffy, coming!”  He then dipped down and kissed her deeply, as he pushed himself as deep inside her as he could, and climaxed, his cock twitching and then spewing forth his sperm, splashing her inner walls.

Buffy groaned, half in frustration, half in pleasure as she kissed him hungrily, her lower body’s motion instinctively moving to accommodate his discharge best.  The sensations of his liquid pleasure filling her up was amazing, but so frustrating because she wasn’t there yet. More spurts followed, as she kissed him more deeply, wanting it all, groaning.  When he was finished his pulled back a bit, and then pushed gently forward and again.  To Buffy’s delight and relief, his finger kept flicking her clit.  “Oh, god,” she moaned into his lips, kissing him more.  His weight on her felt incredible, her totally filled up feeling with both liquid and hard substances urged her on.  She bucked up into him as he continued to gently rock back and forth inside her and kept rubbing her clitoris.  With a hungry moan into his mouth she came. Her body exploded, her vagina contracted around his shaft, fluttering hungrily, sucking at him. Her pleasure nub exploded with vibrations.  Her muscles tensed, and her body shuddered underneath him, as pleasure pulled from her vagina into her legs and up into her mind where it exploded again.  She road out her orgasm that kept going as his fingers on her clit kept going. Finally after almost twenty-five seconds it died down and she came to rest underneath him.

He looked at Buffy’s flushed body.  Her eyes were closed as she breathed hard, much to his disappointment.  Gently he pulled out, and came to the realization they hadn’t used any condoms.  “Fuck,” he cursed lightly as he lay down next her, noticing the small amount of blood on his now flaccid penis.  There were a few drops on her vagina as well.

Buffy opened her eyes and turned her head to regard him.  “Was I good?” she asked uncertain.

Xander chuckled, and as he rubbed her tummy he told her, “Buff, you were amazing.  And me?”

“Oh, god, yes,” Buffy answered and then looked confused at him.

“We weren’t safe,” he said slightly fearfully.

“Shit,” Buffy whispered looking down at herself.  “I’ll have to get a morning-after pill.” She frowned and looked at him, “Your were still a virgin, right?  No Chinese girls?”  He shook his head.  “Then diseases shouldn’t be a problem,” she said with relief, putting her head back down on the mat.  The not so pleasant possibilities of the incredibly pleasant action they just undertook made her think of more unpleasant consequences.  “Oh, god, Willow, what am I going to tell her?  I’m evil,” Buffy said out loud, guilt starting to eat away at her.

Xander pulled her into a spoon-position hug, and whispered, “She’ll get over it, and she’ll forgive you.  She knows I wanted you for so long, she won’t be able to hold a grudge, she’s my best friend too you know.  She wants me happy as well.”

Buffy bit her lip, and whispered, “And Angel?”

“What has he got to do with it?” Xander asked putt off.

Buffy turned and looked at him.  “I’ve fallen in love with you,” Buffy said truthfully, the flutters in her stomach attesting to that.  “A few weeks ago, probably.  But I still love Angel too, I’m sorry, I can’t help it.  I feel guilty toward him too.”

Xander gave a hurt sound, while his heart crumbled, and he said, “But you’re broken up, you’re not even a couple anymore.”

“I’m sorry, can you forgive me?” Buffy asked, hurt.

He put her face against hers, and said, “Sure, but I still can’t see what you see in the lying, manipulating coward.  Will you please get over him soon?”

Buffy sank deeper against him, then pulled back and said, “Why do you always have to be so denigrating to him?”

“I’m not, it’s the truth!” Xander protested getting angry, the pain in his heart that she still loved the corpse after sharing this making him lash out.  “He was hiding in the damn shadows all the time before vacation.  I had to drag his dead ass out of his couch at cross point to get him to lead me to you when you faced the master.  Then when I performed CPR on you, the bastard said I had to do it because he didn’t have any breath!  He speaks doesn’t he!  His body doesn’t need to take out oxygen.  He’d be better at it.  And if he really couldn’t, he could still have done the heart contraction, and he wouldn’t do that either!  He risked your life so he could look good to you instead of admitting he didn’t know CPR, so I could have given him pointers!”

“You’re lying!” Buffy said, sitting up, upset and angry.

“I’m not lying!” Xander exclaimed angrily getting up, and Buffy followed him.  “What is it!?  What is it about the corpse that has you so infatuated with you think your best friend would be lying to you about this!?”

“Perhaps because he’s so strong he doesn’t need to lie!” Buffy accused, not knowing why she was getting so worked up about this, why the tears tung in her eyes, why Xander was so angry after they shared this.

Xander laughed, the pain in his heart growing that Buffy still considered Mr. Demon-animated Corpse stronger than him.  “That’s rich, I can kick his ass whenever the hell I want to!” Xander called out, wanting to stop, but not being able to.  Something irrational inside him wanted to hurt the girl that was hurting him so now, even if he loved her.  “In fact, I did!”

Buffy shrank back, grabbed up some of her clothes, as she asked, “What did you do!?”

“You really want to know!?” Xander told her grimacing, hurting more that she apparently felt the need to get away and get dressed.

“Yes, I want to know!” Buffy said as she got her bag, and pulled out her regular clothes rapidly.  She wanted to get out of her before she started crying.  She wanted to just put distance between them.  This had been such a mistake!  She felt crushed, guilt overwhelming her, guilt for Willow, guilt for Angel, and guilt for Xander that she had let her passions get the better of her, and she had done this with him before she had banished Angel out of her system.

“I kicked his ass the moment I got back to Sunnydale, confronted him on his lying manipulating ways, made him see how bad he was for you, and told him if he didn’t break up with you, I’d dust him!  /That’s/ what I did!” Xander told her, feeling his heart break in a million pieces at the sight on her face.

“You didn’t!” Buffy said, shaking her head, pulling a shirt of her head.  “You didn’t!”

“I did,” Xander said softly.

“You bastard!  You fucking bastard!” Buffy screamed stuffing her workout clothes into the bag, and walking to the door.  “I can’t believe you did that!  You destroyed what had with him, just because you wanted me!  You sick . . . you . . .”

“That’s /not/ why I did it!” Xander protested desperately.  “He was a liar and a manipulator! A 240-year-old coward who went after a sixteen-year-old girl!”

“Like you’re any better!” Buffy shot back, before she could pull it back.  Deep down she knew it wasn’t true, just like she knew Angel wasn’t as bad as Xander made him out to be, even if he /had/ lied.  The pain he saw in his eyes at that accusation hurt her just as much, but her anger quenched it aside.  She ran out of his apartment and slammed the door closed behind her.

Xander started pacing back and forth through his apartment, naked, feeling pain and desperation mount in him.  He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, and finally he lashed out.  He slammed his fist into his wall, making a good dent, and then he sank to his knees, crying.  He sobbed deeply, tears streaming down his face, shaking his head ‘no’.  This just couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t.  He rolled up in a fetal position, crying even deeper, going over what had just occurred.  Then he mumbled, “I’m not like my father, I’m not like my father.  I’m not like him.”

*****

Outside, Buffy leaned back against the door, sobbing.  Tears ran down her face, shaking her head, mumbling, “This can’t be happening.  It just can’t.  It was so good.”  Then she quickly walked away, heading for home, crying all the way.  Why had she done it?  What did he have to look and smell so good?  She was in love with him, she knew, but she was angry with him, and she was pretty certain he didn’t want her back anyway, after calling him no better than Angel.  She kept going over the scene; why had he gotten . . . oh . . . What if he had told her; ‘This was great, Buff, but I just fell in love with Lotion, you know, you wouldn’t mind sharing me with her till I can make up my mind, do you?’  New sobs came from the depth of her being, and she sank to her knees, saying, “My fault, all my fault.  Why?  Why couldn’t I have controlled myself.  Stupid, stupid!  You screwed this all up . . . Willow . . . oh, god, Willow!”

A new wave of guilt crashed down over her and she got up, crying, running in a different direction.  She had to confess, Willow had to forgive her, she just had to.

A few minutes later, Willow’s mother opened up the front door.  “I need to speak to Willow,” Buffy said, teary-eyed, dropping her bag to the ground.

“I guess- . . .”

“Thanks,” Buffy said and walked passed her without much thought.  She stumbled up the stairs and went into Willow’s room.

Willow was a little startled as her door opened, and concerned as a tear-stained Buffy entered her room.  “Buffy!?  What’s wrong!?  What happened?”

The guilt threatened to crush Buffy as she choked out, “Willow, I- . . . Oh, god Willow.”

“What!?  What is it!?” Willow asked, searching into Buffy’s crying eyes, getting very, very concerned now, fearful even.  Was Xander hurt?  Or Giles?  Who?  What?  Where?

“Please, forgive me, Willow.  You have to forgive me,” Buffy cried out, hoping.

“What?  What do you mean!?” Willow asked, getting an inkling, starting to feel a pull down into a black abyss.

Buffy saw Willow already putting things together.  She sank to her knees, crying harder and said, “It’s my fault, all my fault, please forgive me.  I’m so sorry.  You have to, please?”

Buffy watched Willow grow pale, and she demanded, “What is it, Buffy?  What is it?  Tell me now!”

Buffy choked on a few sobs, and said, “I-I . . . f-forgive me . . . I-I’m s-s-sorry, I sl-sl-sl-slept with Xander.”  Buffy watched as Willow went rigid.  “I had sex with him.  We w-were training, and h-h-he s-sm-smelled so good, a-a-and I c-c-couldn’t resist.”  Buffy crawled forward, grabbing for Willow’s hand looking pleadingly.

Willow pulled her hand away and angrily said, “You bitch!”

“N-no, please forgive.  I’m s-s-so sorry.  W-will never happen again- . . .” Buffy cried out.

“Get out!  Get out now!” Willow yelled, rage clearly on her face.

“We had a big fight, Will,” Buffy pleaded desperately, “he hates me now, w-we’re not together.  You can still have him.”

“GET OUT, YOU TRAITOROUS BITCH!!” Willow screeched, putting her left hand on Buffy’s face and pushing her back, making the Slayer fall back on her side.  “Get out!  We’re not friends anymore!  GET OOOOUUUTT!!”

Buffy stumbled back to her feet, back to her knees again as she went through the door.  Then back up again, sobbing and crying, stumbling down the stairs as she felt as if her life just crumble down around her.

Willow looked at the empty doorway, and then felt the maelstrom of depression grip her and pull her now.  Tears sprang in her eyes.  She sobbed first, and then cried hard, falling on her pillow, crying onward.  Xander and Buffy.  Buffy and Xander.

*****

Absentmindedly Buffy picked up her bag, and then ran away from Willow’s home crying. Half way to nowhere she slowed down, stopped and then bent forward, leaning her hands on her knees.  She cried more.  Xander hated her.  Willow hated her.  She had no one anymore, all because of her own stupid fault, because she couldn’t contain her baser emotions.  The two best friends she had ever had she lost.  She choked out sobs, crying loudly, having difficulty breathing, gasping for air amidst sobs.  She sank down to her knees, and bent further until her forehead hit the pavement.  How could she have let his happen?  She didn’t want to go home like this; there was no way she could deal with her mother right now.  Giles was equally out of the question.  Willow or Xander, that’s who she would have gone to . . .

*****

Angel opened the door to his apartment.  His eyes widened when he saw the sobbing Buffy. “Buffy!  What happened?” he asked with concern, feeling his unbeating heart fill with pain and love.

“So, is it true?” Buffy asked him through the tears.  “Did he have to drag you at cross point? Would you just have let me die?  Did you lie about the CPR?”  Angel felt himself fill with guilt in an instant, looking down at the ground ashamed, then nodded.  Buffy laughed through her sobs hysterically.  “Can I come in?” she asked then.

“Of course, of course,” Angel said, gesturing.  Buffy walked into his apartment and looked around.  She turned back to him.

The tears welled up with greater power, and she sobbed, “Willow didn’t forgive me.”

“Didn’t forgive you for wh- . . .” Angel started taking a step forward, and only then did he let what he’d been smelling penetrate his brain.  He felt his heart break yet again, as he stated, “You slept with Xander.”

Buffy nodded, sobbing with ever upward heave of her head.  “He was so hot, so sexy, we were training, he smelled so goo- . . . so good.  I couldn’t resist.”

Angel stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug.  She cried harder, burying herself in his embrace.  “You in love with him?” he asked with pain in his heart.

Buffy nodded, sobbing, splattering some tears on his clothes, and she said, “Yes, he stuck with me, saved my life, was my friend even after I turned him down for the dance.  And lately . . . I love you too.  I love you both.”  Angel’s heart broke yet again.  It hurt hearing her say that, that she was in love with Xander, a guy he knew was much better for her.  Buffy continued, crying and sobbing, “Willow didn’t forgive me, she hates me.  Xander and I had a huge fight - about you.”  Buffy cried harder and deeper.  “I have no friends anymore, I have no friends anymore.”

“Ssh,” Angel soothed.  “They’re still your friends.  They’ll come around.”

Buffy shook her head in denial, and anger gripped Buffy then, hissing, “That manipulative bastard.  He broke us two up, just so he could get to me.  He’s just as much a liar and a manipulator as you, you stupid bastard.”  She dug back into him.

For a brief moment Angel’s heart flared, thinking could let her think that, and drive a wedge between her and Xander, then guilt crushed him again.  No, he had let fear of rejection guide him long enough, lied too much already.  Time to start being honest.  “No, Buffy, he didn’t,” Angel said painfully.  Buffy looked up.  “I still remember that determined face when he was here, and the very true words that he spoke, they’ve been haunting me every day since then, ‘So, jealous or not, in love with or not, do you think anyone who cares about Buffy would let a sickening, lying, spineless bastard like you get his claws inside of her, hmm?’  That was after he told accused me of my lies, and my . . .”  Angel shook his head in pain.  “Those weren’t the words of a manipulator, Buffy.  He might have hoped he’d have a chance after I was out of the picture, but that’s not why he did it.  It was because I was horrible, and don’t deserve you.”  Buffy had lessened her crying just a bit, tiptoed up, and kissed Angel on the lips.  “Buffy, I’m not good for you,” Angel told her.  “We’re bro- . . .”

“Shut up,” Buffy told him angrily pushing into him.  “I have to choose between a lying cheating bastard, and a lying cheating bastard who both love me very much. He threatened to dust you, even if it was what he thought was for my own good.  He deliberately is keeping Ampata away from me, even if I’m not attracted to him.  Even if you were lying.  He’s no better than you.”

“Oh, no, he’s much better than me,” Angel answered her sadly.  “If it isn’t his morality, it’s what I am - I can’t be in the sun, I- . . .”

“Just shut up and let me cry,” Buffy said, breaking down again thinking of Willow.

~~~~13~~~~

Buffy returned to her house, sneaking into her room via the window.  Distraught with her sadness she forgot about Ampata and tripped over the mattress with his sleeping form encased in a sleeping bag.

“Huh?  Que?” he muttered out.

“Ssh, just Buffy, go back to sleep,” Buffy whispered, cursing in her mind.  She couldn’t keep a tiny sob from escaping during her speaking.  Sobbing girl, guy; Ampata was awake instantly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked feeling around for the small lamp on the night stand.  A moment later there was light, and he saw Buffy’s face.  It was obvious she had been crying for a long time.

“Nothing, just go back to sleep, Ampata,” Buffy said, her tone desperate, she so didn’t want to talk about this.  Ampata just straightened his back, and slung his arms around her knees, looking at her expectantly.

Buffy looked at him for a few moments, and then sighed.  God, what was it about her that made a strong shoulder to cry on so irresistible?  “I slept with Xander,” Buffy decided to start with that.

“Who’s Xander?” Ampata asked confused.

“Lexa,” Buffy answered without really thinking about it.

“What!?” Ampata exclaimed in confusion.

“Shhhh, don’t wake my mother,” Buffy whispered quickly.  Ampata nodded embarrassedly. Buffy was too tired, and too strung up to think of an explanation, so she simply told the truth, “Xander fell into a cursed pond.  Now cold water turns him into a girl, and warm water turns him back into a guy.”

Ampata looked at her with a strange face.  Buffy sighed and simply picked him off his makeshift bed with one hand.  “I’m not crazy, okay?  Magic and demons and stuff are real, and I’m the chosen girl given the power to fight the baddest of the baddest,” Buffy muttered in defeat, and then put the astonished South-American down.  The blonde then sat down on her bed dejectedly.

“He’s gay?” Ampata asked with a face.

Buffy shook her head sadly, and said, “Trying to keep you away from me, and succeeding apparently.”

Ampata looked down, pained.  Lexa was amazing.  Sexy, beautiful, easy going, funny - and she or he was just playing with him.  No matter, it was obvious Buffy was a whole lot worse off than he was he was.  “So, he was bad?  Rough, didn’t care about you, he raped you?” Ampata asked.

“Oh, god no!” Buffy exclaimed quickly, and then shrank down, listening for a moment if her mother woke up.  “We jumped each other, no raping of me going on.  He was amazing; tender, passionate, powerful.  It was nothing but pleasure, I’ve never felt so good in my entire life.  It’s what happened afterwards that’s the problem.”  Ampata waited expectantly.  Tears sprang from Buffy’s eyes remembering the events afterwards, much to Buffy’s surprise - she didn’t think she had any tears left.  “I told him I didn’t know who to choose, him, or my ex-boyfriend Angel.  He broke up with me, but I’m still in love with him.  I’m in love with them both.”

“Owy,” Ampata said.

Buffy nodded, and added, “Suffice it to say, he didn’t take it too well, he tried though.  He told me about Angel, he’s a vampire you see, cursed with his soul, the only good one around. Real vampires are nothing like the brooding, nice, sweet Anne Rice stuff, they’re simply brutal killing machines, demons inhabiting former people’s bodies.  So if you meet one: run. He’s 240 years old, and I’m sixteen.  Xander told me when I was dying Angel actually lied about not knowing CPR because he was trying to look good to me, Xander had to drag him along forcing him to help him look for me before that.  Told me he’d threatened to kill Angel if Angel didn’t stop the romance, so Angel broke up with me.”

“Wow,” Ampata muttered.

Buffy took a deep breath, and let out a soft wail, and said, “That isn’t the real problem.  My best friend, Willow, she had crush on Xander for the longest time, I should never have . . . I’m evil, I can’t blame her.  I went to her and confessed, begged for forgiveness and she threw me out.  I told Xander he was no better than Angel, that he did everything out of jealousy, I doubt he wants to see me anytime soon.  I lost both my friends, I have nobody anymore.”

“You have me,” Ampata said filled with support, putting her sobbing on hold a bit.

Buffy smiled wryly for a moment, and told him, “I hardly know you, and you’ll be gone in a short while.”

“It’s still a while,” Ampata told her with a smile.

Buffy smiled for a moment, then looked away.  “I went to Angel after that,” she said sadly. “I didn’t want to face my mom, he confirmed it, he confessed.  Everything Xander accused him of is true.  Explained to me Xander didn’t do it out of jealousy, but out of care for me.”

“He still manipulated me away from you, although that was unnecessary, honor prevents me from taking advantage of the hostess,” Ampata told her sadly.

Buffy nodded, crying softly again, and she whispered, “At least he didn’t gamble with my life just to look better . . . I lost my best friend, and I can hopefully choose between two lying, manipulating guys for a boyfriend.”

Ampata got up and sat down next to her, slinging his arms around her, and he said, “You can choose neither, but if you have to choose, choosing the one who wouldn’t gamble with your life on a whim would be best choice, I think.”

Buffy nodded and said, “On the other hand, Angel didn’t try to make Xander look worse, in fact he stood up for him.  I think he learned his lesson.”

“Better not take the chance,” Ampata said and rubbed the girl as he embraced her tightly.

*****

Buffy and Ampata were walking to school, rain came pouring down.  It seemed fitting to Buffy, who didn’t bother trying to keep from getting wet.  Once they entered the school a small little woman it seemed stepped in front of them, and she croaked out, “You look beautiful, my dear.  Mind if I take some pictures?”  The woman presented a photo camera. Buffy was too depressed really, although the compliment felt good.  If it wasn’t for Ampata’s urging she’d have said ‘no’.  After making a few poses and the woman clicking away, the two moved on.

They reached their objective.  “Willow?” Buffy tried.  She felt blessed to have Ampata be here right now.  The timing for the student exchange program couldn’t have been better. “I’m- . . .”

“Get lost, slut,” Willow bit at her angrily as she slammed her locker closed.  “I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Willow,” Ampata tried for Buffy.

“Shut up,” Willow said, pointing at him angrily.  “Friends of the bitch are no friends of mine.”  Willow then walked off, leaving a disappointed Ampata, and a distraught Buffy. Buffy looked at Ampata with pained eyes.

Buffy forced herself not to cry and she and Ampata walked onward.  A few moments later Tatewaki rounded a corner, holding a bouquet of a dozen red roses.  “My beautiful- . . .” he started.  Buffy let out her frustration by smashing her fist into his face, making him twist backward and sideways until he crashed face first into the lockers.

“Ouch,” Ampata said, and looked as Buffy as they simply walked onward past the Japanese guy.  “Remind me not to piss you off.”

Tatewaki groaned, slid to the floor and muttered, “Usually they wait till after I grab them . . .”

*****

Xander hadn’t bothered with putting on makeup and skirts and the like; he was just too depressed.  The rain had turned him into Lexa though, and now he stalked through the corridors of school.  “Lexa!” Willow called and joined her. “Buffy told me what you and her did, that skank.”  Lexa regarded her, walking onward.  Willow was walking backward, facing her, and continued, “Her and me are done, she betrayed me.  The little bitch can’t keep her legs closed together.  She said you and her had a big fight.”

“Apparently she prefers corpses,” Lexa told her with a pained grimace.

“Yeah, that’s Buffy, necrophiliac slut.  I’m here for you, always.  Best friends, eh?  We could go out together and get our minds off of her,” Willow suggested with a bitter smile.

“Tseh, like you’re any better,” Lexa told her angrily, making Willow stop in her tracks, shocked.  Lexa just walked onward.

 Willow turned around and caught up.  “What do you mean?” Willow asked with dread.

Lexa stopped and turned right to face her, looking menacingly at Willow, and she explained, “You knew how I felt about Buffy, you knew I was in love with her and still you told her to stay away from me for you, while I’ve never seen you as anything else but a friend.  You betrayed /me/ by keeping Buffy away from me, Willow.  I had to do all kinds of twisting and turning just to get her in the same room alone with me, because of what you demanded of Buffy.”  Lexa stepped forward with an angry face, making Willow back up in fear and defeat until she banged against the wall.  Lexa hissed at her, “Your betrayal wouldn’t change any of my feelings for you, keeping all three of us miserable, Buffy’s betrayal at least made me and her happy - if she didn’t think corpses are sexy . . . so get out of my face, Willow, I can’t deal with either of you right now.”  Lexa then abruptly turned and walked away.  Willow didn’t move, still looking up where Lexa had been moments earlier.  Willow got angry then, and walked away.  After a few steps guilt attacked her, and she shuddered with sadness, fighting off her tears.

*****

Lexa stalked to his class with mounting anger.  Suddenly someone appeared from behind a corner, and a moment later warm water was splashed in Lexa’s face.  “Aargh!  What was that for!?” Xander called out in anger, stepping forward and grabbing Ampata by his collar.

“Concha mi madre!  It’s true,” Ampata swore looking into Xander’s angry eyes.  The brunet calmed down a bit and let Ampata go, but was still pissed.  “You are some piece of work, you know that?  Pretending you’re in love with me to remove the possibility of me getting feelings for Buffy and vice versa, even /if/ I’m only here for two weeks.  And you’re accusing her ex.”

“I didn’t manipulate /her/, I did not lie to /her/, I’m not a 240-year-old corpse, she did tell you that didn’t she?” Xander said angrily.

“Yep,” Ampata nodded.

Xander continued, “I’m of her age, I’m alive, and I didn’t gamble with her life just to look better, and I never will.”

“True, she loves you very much, you know that?” Ampata told him.

“Apparently not enough,” Xander said sadly and turned away, starting to walk.

Ampata joined him, and said, “She spent quite some time crying last night, I heard her wish multiple times her love for Angel would just go away.”  Xander stopped, and turned to him. “In her brain she knows the vampire and her can’t work, it’s her heart that’s the problem,” Ampata said and watched Xander look at him.  “She’s smarter than you think.”

Xander growled defeated to no one in particular, and started walking again.  “So, we go to that costume party tonight, you could come as Lexa, that way you and Buffy don’t have to do the whole star-crossed lovers thing.”

“Fine, fine,” Xander said, and then turned away from Ampata, who smiled sadly.

*****

Xander sat dejectedly at a lunch table, away from Willow and Buffy who sat at different tables.  He, as well as Willow and Buffy, were in such bad moods that no one would sit with them.  Well, Ampata sat with Buffy and . . . “Nihau!” Lotion greeted and placed herself across from Xander.  Xander looked up lazily, and took in the short-skirted Amazon as she put her plate down and sat down.  Once Lotion sat down she looked around and wondered, “Witch and pig-nosed girl not with us today?”

“Nope,” Xander said and grabbed a sandwich he had brought with him and disinterestedly took a bite.

“What happened?” she asked confused.

Xander grimaced, hesitated, and then answered, “Pig-nosed girl slept with me, but she still loves the vampire and can’t choose.  Witch feels pig-nosed girl betrayed her.”

Lotion looked completely confused, and said, “Vampires evil, vampires dust.  I’m confused.”

Xander looked up at her finishing another bite of his sandwich and explained, “Gypsies cursed vampire.  They gave him his soul, he’s the only good vampire around.”

Lotion looked at him, thinking, and then she asked, “What mean ‘slept with’?”

Xander looked at her, for a moment he thought about lying, but then said, “I had sex with her.”

 “No!” Lotion exclaimed shaking her head.  Xander nodded, and then tears sprang in her eyes.  “You really?”  Xander nodded again, and watched thick lines of tears run down the girl’s cheeks, and suddenly felt bad.  “You marry blonde?” Lotion almost sobbed out.

Xander shook his head, saying, “She can’t choose, remember?”  Lotion let out a bigger sob, stabbing Xander in the heart.  The stupid Amazon had grown on him.  Although he had yet to start considering her as an actually romantic possibility, he had started to see the girl as a friend.  He quickly got up, walked around the table, and sat down next to her, pushing her aside a little so he could fit.  He slung an arm around her and said soothingly, “Hey, it isn’t the end of the world.  I told you this could happen, didn’t I?”

Lotion nodded, shaking from a sob, and said, “But I hoped . . .”

“Our lives are far from over, you never know.  And even if I’m not the one to be yours, there are other guys out there.  I promise I’ll train whoever you’re interested in so he can defeat you in combat.  That way you won’t lose your honor and all that,” Xander said, heartbroken at the heartbroken girl.

Lotion stifled her crying, and wiping away some tears, she asked, “You mean that?”

Xander nodded, “Yeah, I do.”

“You do love me then?” she asked him painfully.

Xander looked over to Willow, who glared at them, and then at Buffy, who was doing the same, and he said, “As a friend, yeah, I probably reached that state.”

Lotion smiled at him, broadly, and whispered to him, “There’s hope yet.”  Xander couldn’t help but smile back.

*****

Much later that day, after school, Xander stalked across the grass belonging to the school.  It was time to go home, and put on his costume for that night.  “AHA!!  FINALLY!!” a voice called out angrily.  Xander slowed down his walking and then saw Pike walk straight for him. Xander looked around himself and then confusedly indicated himself.  “Xander Harris, you pig, how do you dare chase other girls when you have a fiancee!?”

Xander looked at him with an annoyed look, and said, “I don’t have a fiancee.”

“WHAT?!” Pike yelled and threw a punch that Xander casually avoided.  “You dare deny you asked the angel to marry you!?”  Pike kept throwing punches and kicks while he yelled at Xander.

“What angel?” Xander asked circling around this lunatic that was unsuccessfully attacking him.

“Stand still, you bastard!” Pike yelled, throwing several more punches.  “How can you inflict such pain upon the beautiful Lotion!?”

Xander stopped moving, eyebrows raised in surprise.  What was this guy doing with Lotion? He moved once again just in time before Pike could hit him, and he said, “Will you quit this already!?  Lotion isn’t my fiancee!  I didn’t ask her to marry me.”

“Now you’re calling her a liar!” Pike screamed enraged doubling his efforts.

That was it, Xander was utterly pissed off about this.  He parried the next blow, and then kicked out.  With an ‘oof’ that removed all Pike’s air, the vagrant was launched from his position until he crashed against a tree and sank down.  “Did you see a ring?” Xander asked angrily, coming over.  Pike sat dazed.  “Well!?”

Pike looked at him angrily suddenly, “A cheapskate too!”

Xander smashed his hand in his forehead in frustration and then grabbed Pike by his collar and lifted him off the ground, pushing hi against the tree.  Xander snarled out, “Ancient Amazon tradition: man defeat Amazon in combat, Amazon marry man.  I did not know that when I defeated her in combat.  Now they ‘say’ I’m her fiance, but in fact I am not.  You get it yet!?”  Pike looked at the angry Xander dumbfounded.  Xander moved even closer, his angry face almost touching Pike’s dumbfounded one, saying, “If you like her so much, just defeat her in combat, and /you/ get to marry her.”  Xander finished his tirade, and dropped Pike to the ground.  Xander stalked off, cursing under his breath.

Pike’s eyes were wide, stood up, and yelled, “Lotion!  My beauty, I’m coming for you!” Xander halted for a moment, looked backward, and saw Pike run for his bike.

“Oh, brother, he’s so going to get his ass kicked,” Xander muttered, shaking his head.

*****

Lotion was just finishing her Playboy bunny outfit.  Fishnet pantyhose, white high heels, purple high cut body, that slipped in her ass crack in the back, right where a fake bunny tail hid it from view.  A pair of bunny ears, a collar and bow tie, and finally wrist fittings of a blouse finished the outfit.  Her makeup was thick, red lips, colored eyes, all to accentuate her femininity.  Her brown hair now had playboy bunny heads to tie them together instead of her normal ribbons.

“You look amazing, Lotion,” Deo sad with a large smile.  “No man will be able to resist you.”

“I hope so,” Lotion answered with a big smile.

“LOTION!” a voice screamed from in front of the house.  Lotion and Deo looked at each other, as the voice cried, “I have come for your hand in marriage!  I challenge you to a duel!” The two amazons walked over to the window of this first floor room, and opened it, looking at Pike standing below, looking up at them.  “Give me this honor, beautiful Lotion,” he added.

Lotion blinked in confusion a few times, and looked at her mother, who was obviously very annoyed.  “Defeat this fool quickly, Lotion, so you can go dazzle your future husband,” Deo told her daughter.

“I will,” Lotion said with a nod and simply jumped out the window, landing across from a startled Pike on the toes of her high-heeled shoes.

Pike looked with wide eyes at Lotion’s appearance, blubbering about a bit.  Then he caught himself and said, “As a rule I don’t hit women, but if it’s the only way to get you to marry me, I’ll make this one exception.  I will make this as fast and as painless as possible.”

“Okay, come,” Lotion said, beckoning him.

Pike nodded and ran at her with a roar.  Lotion blocked his right punch and smashed her fist in his stomach - several times over - each time tears of pain sprang from Pike’s eyes.  Lotion let go, and with a right backhand sent him flying off to the right, where he crashed into a fence.  “Ouch, oi, ow,” Pike muttered slowly as he lay broken on floor.

“Now you stop being silly?  Only one man in existence that can beat me,” Lotion got a dreamy look, and then added, “Have no interest in you?”

Lotion waited a moment, and then Pike rose defeated, hurting all over, still dazed, but he said, “No.  You are amazing.  You are beautiful.  And you are strong and skilled.  So I promise you this, Lotion, I will take my bike, and find a teacher.  Once I’m strong enough to beat you in combat, I will be back!  And then you will marry me!”  Pike than indeed walked over to his bike, while Lotion looked at him in annoyance and surprise.  The bike started, and he drove off, apparently determined to keep his promise.

*****

Willow sat dejectedly in her room, looking at the two outfits.  One a cute Eskimo, the other a much more sexy outfit.  She had all but thrown the Eskimo outfit out earlier, but now . . . she didn’t feel sexy, she just felt miserable.  Decision made, she grabbed the Eskimo outfit, and started putting it on.

*****

Lexa rang the bell, wearing a cowboy outfit.  Bright red lips.  The leather pants were tight, and the shirt really meant for her male self wrapped tightly around her breasts showing them off. The door opened revealing Ampata, smiling and wearing a vampire costume.  “Ah, cowgirl, let me sack your bload.”

“That’s so not funny in this town, Ampata,” Lexa commented, and Ampata chuckled.

“I think it is,” he said, and gestured up the stairs.  “Let’s not forget about Buffy.”

Buffy came out nervously when she heard her name.  She was dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood, a mixture of sexiness and innocence.  She came down the stairs, and looked at the female version of the guy she had lost her virginity to.  “A-are we okay?” Buffy asked Lexa.

Lexa looked at her for a few moments, and then said coolly, “We will be, probably.”  Buffy got an expression that was both relief and disappointed pain.

“Okay, I’ve got the camera,” Buffy’s mother announced coming to join the three.  “You all look fantastic,” Joyce said, taking in the three, noticing Xander’s female form.  When the whole vampires-are-real-and-Buffy’s-a-super-hero explanation had been given, Xander’s double gender nature had come up as well.  The three of them joined together and Joyce made a few pictures of the three dressed-up teens.  Once the pictures were taken they said goodbye to Buffy’s mom and they went outside.

*****

Upon entering the Bronze Giles’ eyes widened when they fell on Jenny in a sexy bee costume. “Rupert, English librarian, truly an inspired costume,” Jenny said with a big smile.

“I- uh- I didn’t think chaperones should come in-in costume as well,” Giles stammered out embarrassedly.

Jenny smiled, planted a chaste kiss on his lips, and then hooked her arms behind his and led him deeper into the lion’s den.  “No problem, Rupert, just don’t forget to have fun,” she said with a smile.

A few minutes later Ampata, and two depressed demon hunters entered the place.  A short moment later he was dancing with Lexa on the dance floor.  When the next song started he was dancing with Buffy, determined to get his temporary friends to enjoy themselves.

Willow - all cutesy as an Eskimo, spear in one hand, and a big, fake fur coat with broad hat covering her head - entered the Bronze then, and took a sad look around.  She found Ampata dancing with Buffy, and saw Lexa sitting at a table.  She walked away from her, and placed herself against a pillar, thinking, feeling guilty.

On the stage, the guitarist of the band noticed Willow.  He leant over to another musician and asked, “Who’s that?”

“Oh, Monica Harrow,” the guy answered.

“No, the one in the Eskimo costume,” the guitarist added.

“Don’t know,” was the answer.

Cordelia, with Tatewaki behind her entered the Bronze, and she looked around.  She quickly found Lexa and grinned.  She told Tatewaki to go mingle on his own, and she walked over to Lexa.  “Hello, Lexa,” Cordelia greeted and she looked up, eyes widening.  Cordelia was dressed like a nurse, and the outfit was so skimpy, the skirt so short, Lexa actually wondered if the costume had been bought in a lingerie shop instead of a costume shop.  “Wanna dance?” Cordy asked suggestively.

“Well . . . okay,” Lexa said reluctantly, and let herself be taken onto the dance floor.  After a while of dancing and some conversation, Lexa said, “You look stunning, Cordy.”

“Thank you,” Cordelia returned.

Tatewaki had placed himself on the side of the dance floor, watching Buffy dancing with Ampata with large sparkling eyes, then watched the two get off the dance floor, when the band took a break.

Willow had maneuvered to the punch table and filled a glass for herself.  Guilt over what she had done, fueled by Xander’s words, flooded her being.  She wasn’t really upset about Xander, they were best friends for so long, their friendship could take quite a beating and keep going.  It was Buffy that was nagging her.  Ever since she had ostracized her from her life, exactly twenty-four hours ago, she felt miserable.  Buffy . . . was Buffy, her first female friend.  Although at the moment she felt like wringing her neck, it also hurt severely that she was no longer her friend.  She couldn’t take it any longer, put the punch down, turned around and walked to where Buffy and Ampata were sitting at a table.

“Hello . . .” the guitarist with partially bleached hair in prickles said, but Willow had just left.  He smiled wryly at missing her, and muttered, “Who’s that girl?”

Willow and Tatewaki both headed toward Buffy’s table, both only a few meters away from it.  Willow was much more determined though, so she just plowed through Tatewaki, pulling his leg from under him without even noticing she did.  A moment later the Japanese guy lay groaning on the floor.  Willow reached the table, listening in on the pleasant conversation between Ampata and Buffy, but not caring.  “Buffy,” she said, plaintive, with a hint of anger.

Buffy looked up, and said in reflex, her eyes watering, “Willow, I-I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have done it, can you forgive me?”

Willow sat down, and told Buffy, “I’m sorry.”  Buffy blinked in confusion.  “I could beat you up right now, do you know that?  That’s how much I resent you, but . . .”  Willow took a deep breath, and added, “I knew how Xander felt about you, I should never have asked you to leave him alone.  I betrayed him and you, betrayed my best friend’s wants and desires, and did the same with your potential happiness with him.  I’m sorry, I hope you can forgive me, I’ll forgive you, but I’m going to be angry with you for quite some time, I can’t just turn that off.”

Buffy was crying with happiness, Ampata smiling a huge smile.  Buffy nodded then, “Nothing to forgive,” Buffy sobbed out, and then grabbed Willow and pulled her into a tight hug.  Willow was surprised at first, part of her wanting to bash Buffy’s head in, then something else became apparent.

“Agh, uck, Slayer strength!” Willow called out, as she felt her body getting unhealthily compressed.

“Sorry,” Buffy muttered loosening up some, but not stopping the hug.

“Big baby,” Willow said, and then hugged back fiercely, silently thanking Xander for giving her the chewing-out and making her see her own mistakes so she could get herself to this point.  She really had no idea what she would do if Buffy would really no longer be her friend.

Cordelia and Lexa arrived at the table then, and saw the hug going on.  Cordelia was confused, Lexa was somewhat glad the two had made up, but still pissed about the whole situation and most notably what led to it; Buffy’s infatuation with a demon-animated corpse.

“Uh, uh, oh,” Ampata let out, huge eyes, and the crowd in the bronze grew a lot less loud. Cordelia and Lexa saw Ampata’s reaction and they turned around.  Buffy and Willow turned around themselves soon after.  Cordelia’s eyes narrowed with hatred, the outfit she was wearing was positively conservative compared to that.  Lexa’s eyes widened in appreciation. Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise, and Willow’s eyes widened with very different feelings.

Playboy bunny Lotion came walking over to the table, hips swaying suggestively.  *Hubba, hubba . . . oh, no!* Willow thought, with lust and dread.  *No!  No!  I can’t be thinking about the bitch like that.  Avert eyes, now!*  Willow forced her head around with difficulty.

Both Ampata and Lexa kept their eyes glued to the vision of absolute sexiness.  When Lotion reached the table, she was annoyed that Xander was in his female form.  At least his eyes were suitably glued to her body.  Hmm, a little jealousy might help.  “Ampata, would you like to dance?” Lotion asked sweetly.

Ampata, eyes huge as saucers, nodded his head vigorously and then rapidly got up.  His arm wrapped around the Playboy bunny with utter relish as he took her on the dance floor. Cordelia folded her arms across her chest, and said, “What kind of a skank dresses up like a Playboy bunny?”

“Oddly enough, right there with you, Cordelia, right Willow?” Buffy said, but no answer came.  “Willow?” Buffy asked, looking at Willow whose eyes were obviously glued to the Amazon.

“Huh?” Willow said, tearing her gaze away.

“Oh, no, Xander fine, but you?” Buffy said with disappointment.

“What’s with me?” Lexa asked, her eyes equally glued to the dance floor.  Buffy shook her head.

~~~~14~~~~

“Bye!” Buffy waved.

“Goodbye, Ampata!” Willow yelled, waving after the bus driving off.

“Bye, bye,” Xander called as well, waving.

Once the bus was out of sight, the three turned around and slowly walked back.  “I’m going to miss him,” Willow declared with a wistful smile.

“So am I, I’m going to write,” Buffy added for good measure.

“I’m just debating whether I should write him as me or as Lexa . . . I think I’ll do both,” Xander said with an odd face.  Buffy and Willow slammed their fists gently on his chest. “Ow, hey!  You know, he deserves a little thrill for patching us back together.  Ow, ah, careful, you two are a lot stronger these days.”

“Big baby,” Buffy commented with a smile.

“He’s got a point though, Buffy,” Willow started with a big smile.  “We’re not out of the romantic maze yet, but mostly thanks to Ampata we remember we’re friends first, lovers later.”

Buffy nodded and wondered, “Perhaps I should send him a nude picture of me.  Ow, hey!”

“Hey, if you can hit me for that,” Xander said with a grin, and Buffy’s face darkened.

“Xander Harris,” she growled, and Xander ran.  Buffy chased after him screaming, “Get back here!”  Willow grinned widely and then ran after them herself.  It didn’t take long before they reached a small piece of grass and all three rolled over it, laughing.

*****

“Tatewaki, I’ll drive you back- . . .” Cordelia started, opening Tatewaki’s door, and froze shocked, having wanted to finish with, ‘to the airport.’  Shocked she looked at Tatewaki lying on his bed, looking up and the only three things not yet packed, judging from the cleanliness in the room.  There on the slanted ceiling hung three posters of three different girls, all in different sexy positions.  First there was a blue-haired girl - and who the hell dies her hair blue Cordelia thought, although it looked quite good on her, it wasn’t bright blue more natural - a buxom redhead, and finally Buffy Summers; drenched from the rain, her shirt clinging wetly to her breasts, and giving a sexy hand kiss, and wink.  “WHAT THE HELL!?” Cordelia screamed out suddenly.

Tatewaki looked at her, sighed, and then said, “Akane Tendo, the pig-tailed girl, and Buffy Summers, the three great loves of my life . . .”  Then he wailed out in addition, “. . . and I can’t choose!  What cruel fate I must endure!”  There was a powerful slap and Tatewaki’s head flew to the right, going, “Oof!”

“Put a sock in it!  There are much crueler fates to endure; especially with these damn pinups to look at!  Look at my hair today!  It just won’t stay right!” Cordelia told the Japanese guy angrily.  “Now get your porn of the ceiling, or I’ll tear them off,” Cordelia threatened.

“No, no!  I will get them already, don’t tear them!” Tatewaki exclaimed and quickly but carefully went to work.

Cordelia mashed her teeth together, then turned around and walked out the room, muttering to herself, “What is it with Buffy!?  Buffy here.  Buffy there.  What does she have that I don’t have?  Is it the hair?  Should I bleach mine too?”

*****

Buffy bent back, making the vampire miss.  She was in a cemetery, and looked astonished at how easy she avoided the punch.  Well, not exactly easy, but definitely easier than before Xander started training her.  The four vamps had surprised her.  She was wearing a leather jacket, a short skirt, a few mid-heeled boots, and a spaghetti-strapped top that was now obscured by the jacket.  Her hair was done so it looked casual and classy all at once.  She was planning to arrive fashionably late at her date, now these stupid vamps had just made her plane . . . well, /too/ late.

A quick uppercut sent the vampire away from her.  She twisted slightly, blocking a downward punch and immediately turning it into a throw.  Buffy pulled the vampire over her shoulder, staked him, and jumped to her left.  She twisted rapidly around her axis, hit a vampire with a right flying roundhouse kick, the left followed, and turning around she smashed the vampire across the cheek with her right again.  She landed, and quickly dispatched the unliving creature with a stake through the heart.  She twisted around rapidly, slapping a lunging vampire’s arm aside, immediately slammed her stake in the freed heart, and it turned to dust.  She yelped as the first vamp kicked her hand, making her drop her stake. She backed away, made a back flip, and the vampire jumped at her in a growl.  She suddenly jumped forward and landed a five-combo hit on his torso and face, then finished it up with a devastating uppercut making him fly backward.  Buffy bent down, and with a quick yank freed a headstone from one A. Hanor’s grave.  She shrugged at the name, ran and jumped to the downed, groaning vampire.  With a vicious downward thrust - she even yelled with the effort - she smashed the vamp’s face in.  His brains spilled out, and then he puffed into dust.

Buffy quickly made a few cartwheels, and grabbed her stake.  She went into a ready stance. She listened and peered, and when no new vamps came at her she took that as to mean she’d gotten them all.  She checked her nails quickly: they weren’t broken - as usual.  Then she checked her outfit; that too seemed without dirt and dust.  She put her stake away then and pulled out a mirror and checked her makeup.  “Damn,” she said, putting it away, her mind going over the quite quick fight.  Four of them.  “The training is definitely paying off,” she muttered in shock, realizing that before them she would have had quite a bit of difficulty with four vamps, now she had taken them down rather smoothly; the individual fights were much faster, and she had kept the vamps on greater distance.  She put her mirror away and said with a smile, “All right, ready for my date, I’m /so/ late!”  She then ran off.

From the bushes a vampire with a camcorder arrived, muttering, “Shit.”

*****

Xander sat waiting at a table in the bronze.  A date with Buffy.  An /actual/ date with Buffy. And he was looking forward to it too.  A chance to show her he was funny, and had things together, and he was more then a good body and a good fuck; a chance to show her he should be with him, not with a corpse.

Of course she was late.  That /so/ wasn’t good.  After a few moments of sitting alone, Cordelia arrived.  “Hi, Xan, mind if I join you?” Cordelia asked him.

Xander took her in for a moment, and then nodded, saying, “But I’m expecting, Buffy. We’re having a date tonight, and when she gets here, you leave, got that?”

“Not a problem,” Cordelia said cheerily.  “You’re never going to believe what I found in Tatewaki’s room just before I shipped him off.”  Xander looked at her expectantly, and she finished, “The pervert actually has almost life size posters of the girls he claims to be in love with.  All pinups too.  Some blue-haired chick, a pig-tailed girl, and Buffy.  You should have seen his reaction when I threatened to tear them off.”  Cordelia made an imitation, and Xander smiled and chuckled at it, not really caring about Tatewaki’s affections for his girl, the pervert didn’t stand a chance anyway after having the audacity of burying his head in her chest.

*Pig-tailed girl?* suddenly flashed through his mind, looking dumbfounded, a flash of Ranma going through his head.  “Nah, can’t be,” he said.

Cordelia protested, “It’s true, I swear.  Life size.”

Xander looked at her, about ready to protest again, and he said with a smile, “Not that, just something that entered my mind that’s all.  Did that perverted henchman of him make the picture of Buffy?”

“She seemed to be posing,” Cordelia thought, then shrugged at the question.  “Anyway, after watching him bully him around, including kicking and calling him things . . .”  Cordelia shuddered for a moment, and continued, “I actually took a good long look at my life and the treatment of the help.  I’m nowhere near as bad as he was, but worse than I’d like to be.”

“What?” Xander asked with a huge smile, “Is Cordelia Chase admitting she’s a bitch and she doesn’t want to be?”

“Hey!  I’m always going to be a bitch!  I just like to be a bit less to people who didn’t do anything - you know, wield my bitchiness like a scalpel instead of a tank,” she said in protest, much to Xander’s enjoyment.

Buffy came into the Bronze and looked around, looking for Xander.  She actually looked forward to this, it would be hellishly awkward undoubtedly, but both Ampata, Angel, and Xander’s pleas had made her decide she wanted to experience Xander on a date.  She walked further into the Bronze and looked around, finally spotting Xander . . . talking and smiling with Cordelia Chase.  She paled, and felt horrible.  Xander was here having a good time with the first bitch that came along, and why?  Slayer business!  That’s right, four vampires thought she was a tasty morsel.  She slumped, staggered back once, and decided she didn’t want to break up Xander’s good time.  She turned around and slowly walked toward the exit.

Xander looked passed Cordelia to see if possibly Buffy was arriving anytime soon.  The Sunnydale High Queen turned out to be quite a fun, and a lot deeper individual than he had given her credit for.  He just saw who he knew was Buffy turn around and start to walk away. “Buffy!  I’m here!” he called out, thinking she missed him behind Cordelia or something. Cordelia looked around, and he jumped off his stool and ran through the crowd.  “Buffy!” he called after her.

Buffy reached the exit when Xander caught up with her.  “Hey, I’m here, Buff,” he said and took in the exit.  “Why are you leaving?”

“Because you’re just having a fantastic great time with her,” Buffy said angrily pointing at the cheerleader that was coming just behind him.

“What?  Her?  What do you- . . .?” Xander started, then grasped it, and turned back to Buffy saying, “She asked to join me while I was waiting for you.  We were just talking, I told her to get lost once you were here.  Didn’t I tell you that?”

“He did tell me that, Buffy.  Here’s your date,” Cordelia bit at the Slayer.

Buffy looked at Cordelia and told her, “Yeah, /you/ were just talking.”

“Hey!  I’m standing right here,” Xander demanded Buffy’s attention.  “Are you saying I am not even allowed to talk to another girl?”

“No!  It’s just- . . . ah forget it, this date is ruined anyway,” Buffy said and quickly sprinted out the bronze, feeling bad.

Cordelia held Xander back, and said, “Just let her be, you can’t do anything anyway.” Xander slumped, Cordelia smiled.

*****

“Bloody hell, amazing,” Spike muttered watching a video of Lotion and Xander in action against a whole horde of vampires.  Outside contracting had been a must with these around. “The way they fight, and their strength, it’s a good thing that guy with the umbrella returned to Japan, because he’d beat both of them with his bloody hands tied behind his back.”  The lair, an abandoned factory, was hung all over with tvs for Spike to watch the fights on.  “Once I figure out their moves though . . . and perhaps I should find something to enhance myself. Never met a tosser like this, look at that.  Just one of them can take on a whole bloody army of Slayers.”

“Spike?” the vampire with the camcorder said, arriving.

“What is it, wanker,” Spike bit at him.

“The Slayer in action, sir,” the vampire said.

“All right, put it in,” Spike said and a moment later he watched Buffy in action.  “Fuck me, makes you start to bloody swear in American; she’s catching up to them.  Not there yet by quite a bit, but she’s gotten better.  Whoa, see that?  Rewind!”  Spike pointed at the screen and a moment later the tape was rewound a bit.  “Did you see how she used that head stone to dust him?  She’s bloody resourceful too.”

“Spoike,” a dreamy female voice said, and Drusilla in a long blue-white robe came gliding into the room.

“Not now, pet, can’t you see I’m studying how to kill these bloody bastards,” Spike said with quite some affection in his voice.

“Miss Edith told me the stars are whispering, I listened closely,” Drusilla singsonged.

“Did you have a vision, pet?” Spike asked, instantly walking over with a smile.

Drusilla nodded, purring, and said, “Tomorrow night you get your chance, tomorrow night they’ll be weak.”

“Tomorrow- . . . but tomorrow night is Halloween, nothing ever happens on Halloween,” Spike wondered.

Drusilla nodded and said, “Someone’s come to change that.”

*****

The next day Willow and Buffy were sitting on the counter in the girls’ bathroom.  “. . . So once again being the Slayer screwed with my life,” Buffy concluded to a dumbfounded Willow.

Willow looked at Buffy, and the Slayer fidgeted at the disbelieving face.  “Let me get this straight, Buffy,” Willow questioned with a pissed tone.  Before the whole blow up between the two Willow would never have spoken to her best at such a tone, but now she could, and in fact, felt it was necessary.  “You arrive in the Bronze, and you find that viper bitch making a move on Xander, and your brilliant strategy was to leave, leaving the two alone, for an entire night, so the viper bitch can make her moves, her feminine wiles on Xander all evening long?”

Buffy blinked looking at Willow, then blinked again, and finally slumped saying sheepishly, “I guess that wasn’t the smartest thing to do.”

“You guess!?” Willow requested in disbelieve.  Buffy fidgeted in embarrassment.

Just then the door opened and Cordelia walked in, going straight for the mirror to touch up her makeup, and she said, “Thanks for leaving me with Xander, Buffy, we had a great time.  I wonder how long it takes for me to make him mine, how long I have him in my bed.”

“I already had him in my bed,” Buffy bit at Cordelia with an evil grin.

Cordelia turned to Buffy for a moment, then smiled and returned to the mirror, at the same time starting, “Dream on, Summers, and even if you had, keeping them is what counts, and you obviously couldn’t.”  Cordelia finished her makeup retouching and turned to face the apprentice witch and the Slayer, and said, “You see, you may be strong, fast, agile, and got super healing, but when it comes to dating, /I’m/ the Slayer.”  Cordelia then left the bathroom.

Willow looked at a sad Buffy, and placed an arm around the Slayer’s shoulder.  “Come on, let’s go to lunch,” she told Buffy.  Buffy nodded.

*****

Xander was pissed off.  Really, really pissed off.  He was really in no mood for anything.  His date with Buffy fell through last night, and it still pissed him off.  He saw Buffy and Willow sitting at a table and he walked over to the soda machine.  He dumped a few coins in there, and pushed the soda he wanted to have.  Nothing happened.  Oh, no!  Xander was reaching the boiling point now, pushing another drink, then tried the first again, several times.

“Hey, Harris,” a voice called from behind him.  Larry, Xander’s bully from classes lower, a football jock, emerged from behind Xander and slammed his hand on the machine, promptly a soda can dropped it.  “That’s how you do it,” he said with a grin, grabbing the can, intending to keep it.

“I paid for it, give it to me,” Xander said extremely pissed off.

“And what are you going to do about it, loser?” Larry asked with a grin, about to open the can.

Faster than Larry could react, Xander’s hands reached out, grabbed the head-taller Larry by the collar and lifted him clear of the floor, growling out, “/What/ did you just call me!? WHAT!?”

“Here, take the soda, man,” Larry said pitifully afraid.  “You can have it, I just . . .” Xander’s left hand shot down with a growl, taking the can, and then simply tossing Larry forward with his right hand.  Larry landed on his feet, staggered backward, then dropped painfully to his ass, and slid backward.  Lots and lots of student laughed at him.  “SHUT UP!” he shouted at some, and then quickly got up and ran away.

Xander sat down next to Willow grumbling.  “Whoa,” Willow said looking back at where Larry went.  “What got you so pissed off?”

“Ask her,” Xander said indicating Buffy.

“Nihau, I can join?” Lotion commented, and Xander let his hand slam in the table.  He so wasn’t in the mood for the gungho, always positive Lotion right now.  Willow gave a shrug and Lotion sat down before anyone protested.  “How did date go?” Lotion asked, and Xander groaned.  “Good,” she said, making Willow and Buffy stare daggers at the beautiful Amazon.

*****

The four of them walked through the hall, giving Snyder and his ‘volunteer’ table a wide birth.  The man just forced another student to sign up to take some kids trick-or-treating.  “So what kind of big Halloween evil do we get to fight tonight, Buff?” Xander asked the blonde Slayer, walking next to her with an angry Willow and an oblivious Lotion behind them.

“Nothing.  Giles says on Halloween nothing happens, all the demons take a night off,” Buffy answered with a smile.

“Really?  What for?  Do they think it’s gone too commercial or something?” Xander wondered.

Buffy shrugged, and said, “I don’t know, I guess even demons take a night off from world ending events and other nefarious plans.  Which means we get to spend time together.”

“Great,” Willow said enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I really feel sorry for the guys who go past Snyder though.  I think he has the definition of ‘volunteer’ twisted or something,” Buffy said with a grin, all four giving the table a look.

“Well, we could . . .” Xander started.

“/Miss/ Summers,” Snyder’s voice snapped them all into place as he sneaked up on them from behind.  “Just the juvenile delinquent I have been looking for.  Come along.”

“But . . .” Buffy tried a protest as she was dragged along.  Willow, Xander, and Lotion looked at each other for a moment, then followed slinkily to watch what was going to happen.

Snyder spoke, “I volunteered this school to give chaperones to kids who otherwise can’t go trick or treating.  It’s from four to six, after that you can get up to whatever tomato-throwing, or toilet-paper-covering hijinks you were undoubtedly planning.”  Snyder yanked Buffy in front of him, and looked at her for a moment, and then picked up a volunteer sheet.

 “But, but . . . I’m allergic to Halloween!” Buffy blurted out the first thing that came to mind that might get her out of the ordeal, as behind her Xander, Willow and Lotion arrived and silently watched with just subdued smirks as Buffy was reeled in relentlessly.

Snyder gave her a look, and with a quick motion that showed she had no other choice, he presented her a pen.  Buffy gave him a puppy-dog-eyed face, but he didn’t budge and she reluctantly took the pen.  Xander, Willow and Lotion looked with slight grins, until Snyder grabbed three pens and with an expectant look he presented the pens to them.  They’re spirits faltered, and then they took the pens, resigning themselves to their fate.

*****

“Okay, so you guys found a costume yet?” Xander asked enthusiastically.  They just stood in front of a bin just inside a new costume shop, called Ethan’s.

“Uh, no, not really, nothing exciting, perhaps I should just go with the time-honored classic of the ghost,” Willow muttered a little depressed.

“Don’t, Willow,” Buffy warned with a grin.  “You can’t go hiding . . . again.”

“Yeah,” Xander said with a smile.  “We all got you out of your shell, you already lost your opportunity with the costume ball, can’t crawl back in your shell now, Will.”

“Yeah, well, I haven’t seen anything interesting yet,” Willow said, fidgeting a little.  She had seen a few thinks, but . . .

“And you Buffy?” Xander wondered with a smile.

“No, nothing that really strikes my fancy, you?” Buffy asked him with a smile, still rummaging through costumes.

Xander held up a blue toy gun, and wiggled it.  “That’s not a costume,” Willow accused him.

Xander grinned at her, explaining, “It will be when I mix it with the army fatigues I have at home.  Just call me the two-dollar costume king.”

“Don’t you have a job now?” Buffy wondered with a frown.

“Rent, gas, food, water, two sets of clothes, it’s just Halloween,” Xander told her with a grin, “and I already spent some on that cowboy costume for Lexa at the ball.”

Willow and Buffy smiled at him, and then something caught Buffy’s eye.  “Ooh!  Look at that,” Buffy said, pointing at a beautiful, eighteenth-century gown hanging against the back wall.  She walked over, and Willow and Xander followed her.  “Isn’t it gorgeous?” Buffy asked, her eyes shining.

“Nah, I’m not into all the frilly stuff, give me a woman in spandex any day,” Xander told them with a smile.  This whole thing had actually put him in a good mood.

Buffy looked at Willow, and then the redhead looked up and said, “Shoo, Xander, we need some girl talk.”

Xander looked disappointed at first, and then he put a smile back on his face and said, “All right then, I pick you guys up later, okay?”

“Okay,” Willow and Buffy said in choir.  They waved at a retreating Xander.

“What do you think?” Buffy asked with large eyes when Xander was out of earshot. “Would this make up for my goof last night?  Do you think Xander would like this?”

“I don’t know, Buffy, if you want to dazzle Xander, he said it himself, spandex is the way I guess,” Willow said with a weak smile.

“Spandex is super hero, Willow,” Buffy sad sadly.  “I’m super hero every day of the week, it ruined last night’s date remember?”

“I think you managed that quite well yourself by walking off, you know,” Willow told Buffy, who conceded the point with a nod.

The Slayer added though, “But Halloween is about coming as something you’re not, Super Hero is something I already am.”  Willow nodded at that.  Buffy continued, “For one night I would just like to be a dazzling, beautiful lady, who couldn’t possibly screw up a date, is always poised and laughs at his jokes, and acknowledges his masculinity . . . you know, bat my eyelashes at him when he beats up a bully, instead of just look down depressed.”

“I guess,” Willow said taking in the gown.

“Do you think I can pull it off?  Make a gown look interesting to Xander?” Buffy wondered at Willow.

“You found costume yet?” an annoying voice interrupted.  “Pig-nosed girl not think you wear that!  You too crude, and too boxy nose to be lady,” Lotion added, and Buffy and Willow whirled around in annoyance, their anger growing by the moment.

“Listen you!” Willow bit out.

“Oh, you here too?” Lotion wondered out loud, interrupting the witch.  “You should go as ‘invisible girl’, need no costume at all!”

“Why you!” Willow screeched about ready to attack the Amazon, but a calming hand from Buffy held her back.

“Now watch my costume!” Lotion said holding up a see-through plastic bag, in which was the costume of Wonder Woman.  “Fellow Amazon, will blow Xander away.  You too should give up now, beanstalk and pig-nosed girl don’t stand chance now.”  Lotion then laughed and left the store, while Willow flailed her arms to get at her, and Buffy restrained her.

“She’s not worth it, Will, let it go,” Buffy said, more like sniffed out with her own mounting anger.

“I should turn her into a toad!” Willow exclaimed in anger.

“You can do that?” Buffy wondered, but still angry.

“Not yet, and it’s totally unethical, but it would feel /soo/ good,” Willow said, calming down just a tiny bit, she was at least not flailing her arms anymore.  Buffy’s anger quickly dissipated though, as Buffy turned back around and looked wistfully at the gown.

“That’s it!” Willow screeched out.  “That’s really it!  That bitch is going down!  There’s no way I’m going to let that bitch put her claws into Xander!  I rather have you have Xander than her!  Hell, I rather have Cordelia have Xander than her!  In fact I’d rather share Xander with you than let her have him.”

“Huh?” Buffy said, not really having heard.

Willow looked directly at Buffy, face determinedly angry, and as she grabbed the Slayer’s arms pulling her along, she said, “Forget about the stupid gown, I’ve got a better costume for us.”

“H-hey, W-will, where are you taking me?” Buffy half-heartedly protested, but letting herself be dragged along.

“Look, Buffy, this requires the big guns,” Willow told her friend and finally stopped, placing her friend there, who looked around the new costume section not comprehending. Willow grinned wider, which Buffy could only see partially.  The redhead spoke sinisterly, “We’ll go as the . . .”

*****

Costume shop Party Town

Across Sunnydale

“ . . . one thing . . .” Cordelia said with large eyes.

*****

Back at Ehan’s

“. . . all guys . . .” Willow continued.

*****

“ . . . hope for and . . .”

*****

“ . . . fantasize about: . . .”

*****

Cordelia pulled the greenish costume from the rack, and finished telling herself, “. . . a harem girl.”

*****

Willow pulled the mostly red, and the mostly blue costumes from the rack, turned around, gave Buffy a determined face as she held up the costumes, and proclaimed, “. . . a harem!”

Lightning flashed, Buffy’s eyes widened in shock, her jaw dropped, and thunder rolled at clear skies.

Ethan standing at the cash register looked up, and with a smile whispered, “Janus is already pleased.  Chaos will reign.”

~~~~15~~~~

“. . . a harem!” Willow exclaimed.

Buffy’s jaw dropped, and looked with shock at Willow.  “Wh-wh-what!?” Buffy exclaimed. She loved dressing up, but this was going really far.

“A harem, you know, multiple wives, one husband, wielding power over the women with a strong iron fist and the wives must obey,” Willow elaborated, looking intensely in Buffy’s eyes.

“I know what a harem is!  But . . . a harem, that’s . . .” Buffy started trying out the concept of being Xander’s obedient sex slave wife in her mind.  That was so . . . that was so, ew.  And yet, she was shocked to find out part of her wouldn’t mind.  She shook her head, so not for her, even as Willow talked.

“The exact opposite of what you are, Buffy.  You can’t get much more ‘not’ you, that’s what you wanted right?  Think about it, obedient, submissive toward Xander and guys in general unless Xander orders otherwise, sweet, always agreeing with Xander, never speaking for yourself, certainly not fighting people and demons.  Harem Girl Buffy will be as far removed from Buffy Buffy as you can get,” Willow said excitedly, with a simmering anger toward the already left Lotion.

That was true, it did sound like fun for a night, Buffy thought, starting to get into the idea. “A-are you sure about this, Willow?” Buffy wondered.  The angry, fiery Willow wasn’t the standard Willow, she couldn’t chicken out of course, the same went for her, she realized.  This was starting to become more exciting, almost forbidden; she could just imagine her mother’s and father’s reaction to her announcing, ‘Mom, dad, I fell in love with an Arab sheik and I will become his sixteenth wife.’  Not to mention the feminist outrage in the papers of a nice American girl going in a harem.  A secret thrill started filling Buffy; this was so taboo, and so not done, and so not her, that it became more and more thrilling to be for a night.

“What?” Willow asked, actually getting a bit more angry and determined.  “You think I don’t mean I rather share Xander with you than let Lotion have her?”  Buffy blinked at Willow’s bluntness.  “I’ll prove it to you!” Willow told her, taking a sudden step forward and dipped forward a bit.  Before Buffy had time to get out of her shock, her best friend’s lips pressed against hers in a deep kiss.  Buffy’s eyes widened to their full extent, shocked at the soft lips against hers, the lovely kiss, and tongue slipping her mouth just a bit and suggestively licking her upper lip.  Then Willow pulled back as quickly as she came, the whole kiss have lasted less than two seconds.

Buffy blinked with the shock, her right up moved up of its own accord, touching the lips to try and figure out if the kiss had really happened.  “Wh- . . . huh? Ho- . . . .wuh?” Buffy managed to mutter out, too shocked at the realization she was just kissed by a girl, by her best friend.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Willow grinned, and moved one outfit to the other hand.  She then grabbed the still stunned Buffy by the arm, and pulled her along to the register.  Xander wouldn’t know what hit him, Willow thought, and then came across a pot of green paint. “Even better,” Willow said and took a pot.  She showed it to Buffy.

“Huh?” Buffy muttered still dazed, and unsure if this was really the way to go, although it appealed to her.

“Orion slave girls,” Willow said with an enthusiastic nod.  “You remember in the letter? From Star Trek?  They are green-skinned.  All sexually ferocious and irresistible to human males and such.”

Buffy blinked, and then shook her head.  She gave the guy behind the cash register a look, bent over and whispered, “Not for me, too much like ferocious, unstoppable Slayer.  Want to be something else remember?”

“Okay, only I will wear it then!  I’m not ferocious at all,” Willow said with a grin.  Now Xander /really/ wouldn’t know what hit him.

*****

Buffy looked in the mirror, and asked, “Are we really going through with this?”  She was in the red harem girl outfit.  The top barely reached past her breasts, which were prominently on display via the deep cleavage.  In fact, if one looked closely they could actually see the underside of her breasts peeking just under the top.  A see-through, red cloth covered her mouth.  Her hair was covered by a kerchief made of the same see-through substance, allowing her blonde hair to be visible.  Her long hair came out from under the shawl, displaying her alluring blonde tresses.  Willow was wearing the same thing, but blue, contrasting her red hair nicely.  Both girls eyes wore made up with dark and black colors, offering two deep penetrating alluring eyes as the only thing truly visible from the face.  Their lips were made up bright red, but the mouth-covering cloth hid most of them.  Willow’s breasts, although slightly smaller than Buffy’s, were just as prominent.  Buffy had actually delighted in realizing that Willow wasn’t as flat-chested as she appeared in her usual outfits.

“Do we have another costume?” Willow questioned Buffy, who shook her head.  “Than we don’t have a choice,” Willow spoke and took in their visages.  The frilly earrings, and the frilly edges of the garments, broidered with gold, and green, gave them an additional look of allure.  Their stomachs where naked, showing off their belly buttons.  The pants part of their outfit had frilly edges as well, and two soft brushes hanging by their hips.  Willow’s were red, while Buffy’s were yellow.  The part that kept the pants up was tight, and high cut, not quite a thong but close.  Half see-through substance started at the tight panties part and blossomed out over their ass, thighs, and down their legs.  This way, if someone took their time, they could actually see parts of the girls’ ass cheeks.  Also the tiny covering part of the pants, was far too tight and small to allow for panties underneath them, except perhaps a tiny g-string, but what did that matter?  When they found that out, it had brought a whole new slew of insecurities and doubts about this idea in both girls, but they had convinced each other, and with each other’s support put it on.  The pants weren’t closed though, in strategic positions, like the outward side of the upper legs and lower legs there were slits - thus as their legs moved, they’d give on occasion sights of their lovely legs.

Finally their shoes.  Buffy had suggested to forego the traditional shoes and put high heels on instead.  Buffy wore a white pair of her own, while Willow had found a red pair of Buffy’s mother that fit her quite right.  Buffy had put a letter on the kitchen table explaining the missing shoes, as well as their chaperoning duty.  It was almost half past three now, the chaperoning started at four, and her mother wasn’t due to return from work until well after five.  They looked amazing.  Willow only wished she had a tan like Buffy, that she didn’t look almost as pale as a vampire . . . usually, for the big difference between the two was that Willow’s skin looked completely green from the paint.

Buffy told Willow, “We can cut some holes in sheets and go as ghosts.”

Willow was tempted for a moment: this /so/ wasn’t her.  She did not display herself like this: she couldn’t do sexy - what was she thinking?  But her anger at Lotion returned, as well as her boosted confidence of the past few months, and a determination not to let herself be beaten down again.  “No, we’re harem girls for tonight, and me an alien one, you remember what we planned?” Willow answered and then asked Buffy.  Buffy nodded, looked at Willow, and smiled.  Her doubt was quickly evaporating as well; this was going to be fun.

*****

Xander didn’t know what hit him.  He had just rung the bell, and then two visions of beauty, sexiness, and lustful, sexual fantasies opened the door.  His jaw dropped, when both girls bowed deeply, actually sank to one knee, or perhaps just almost, and they said together, “Greetings, great master Xander.  Please, allow your humble wives to bid you entrance.”

Willow and Buffy slowly rose to their feet again, but heads bowed they gestured inside. Xander shook his head, and half stumbled, half walked inside.  “Great thousand and one nights, what a . . . harem?  With an Orion slave . . . oh, boy.”  Xander could hardly believe the visions of submissiveness.  The two sets of deep dark eyes, with their mouth and nosed half-withdrawn from sight, gave the two an incredible, mysterious sexiness - even his best friend since kindergarten.  There was really no way around it, Willow was hotness personified, as was Buffy - but in fact, the green made her more alluring; the ultimate Science Fiction enjoyer sexual fantasy.  He let his eyes glide over the clothes and the skin they showed - wondering how their backsides looked in those skimpy briefs with see-through, swirly pipes attached. Then the high heels.  Looking back into their eyes he felt himself grow warm.  Damn the look both girls somehow put in their eyes.  They were both blazing with strength, triumph, intelligence and confidence, while a certain something shimmered there that Xander could only call sweetness, submission, and weakness.  The combination made the look practically irresistible.  Their nod at his question - and he just new they were giving him a pouting smirk - made them even more alluring.  Then Willow decided to go with the role, realizing she made a little mistake.  She took off her mouth covering garment, let it drop suggestively slow to the floor, opened her mouth, and licked her upper lip in a sexual predator manner.  A shudder ran down Xander’s body, before he stated, “I renounce spandex, girls.”  Xander felt the need to slap himself, the almost possessive ‘girls’ had just slipped out automatically at their sights.  

Neither girls seem to mind though, in fact they seemed to welcome it: tonight they would. Tonight they were Xander’s harem.  Both fighting off giggles, they gently bowed in gratefulness, displaying their cleavage in an even more inviting manner, and Buffy said flattered, “Thank you, master.”  Xander realized with some surprise that - unlike he had earlier thought it would - his short time as sex slave in training was not diminishing his appreciation for these visions.

The girls rose back up again, and Xander was shocked at the continued role play game, so he asked, “Are you going to call me that all night long?”

Buffy was too busy stifling her laughter to answer, but Willow managed a confused, yet respectful furrow of her eyebrows, and asked with just a hint of force from her Orion heritage, “Of course, master.  What else would we call you?”

That was really too much for Buffy and she burst out in laughter.  Willow chuckled along, and Buffy got herself back under control, and said, “I’m sorry, I’ll try better.”

“As your, master, I should give you a spanking for that,” Xander played along, smiling brightly.

Buffy gasped, and exclaimed, “Xander!”  She quickly bettered herself, adding, “Master, no, please don’t, I’ll be better.”

“You’re forgiven then, wives,” Xander said and turned around, offering his arms.  The girls hooked their arms into his, and Buffy having her right hand free opened the door.

“You look good to, Xander,” Willow complimented with a smile.

“Not as good as you do,” he said and stepped outside.  Buffy unhooked her arm so she could close and lock the door.  That done, Buffy hooked her arm back into Xander’s, and she said, taking her costume in for a moment, “We’re lucky we live in California.”

*****

The high heels clicked on the pavement, and it affected Xander greatly as he led the two girls through Sunnydale to their school.  “Sweet . . . you two are going to get me killed, you know that?” Xander asked a little embarrassed at who, and how they were dressed he had on his arms and what affect it had on him.  He really hoped the stirring didn’t grow in a full blown erection, and if it did that it was lying against his skin, not forming a tent.  These two really didn’t play fair.

“Oh?” Willow asked innocently, /much/ to innocently according to Xander.

“If a heart attack won’t do it, it’ll be the jealous guys in school that will,” Xander answered her, only half-joking.

“Thank you for the compliment, master Xander,” Buffy answered sweetly.  Oh, man!  The girls giggled.  He was /so/ dead!

*****

They arrived at the school, and prepared to enter.  “Xander!” a familiar voice yelled.  Xander turned around and his eyes widened.  Cordelia came over, wearing about the same thing as Buffy and Willow, except hers was green and she wasn’t wearing high heels but some kind of puffy sandals.

Cordelia paused, taking in Buffy and Willow.  Her eyes widened, and then narrowed in anger.  How could they /dare/ to wear the same thing she’d decided to wear?  Didn’t they know you were meant to check first with Cordelia before you wore something to check if the queen of Sunnydale High wasn’t wearing the same thing?  Buffy’s and Willow’s eyes narrowed right back, ready to defend their ‘master’ the way slave girls would from interlopers. The green skin on Willow was a puzzle for Cordelia though, but she ignored it.  “Hello, Xander,” Cordelia said seductively, while Xander just looked with wide eyes at her.  This really just couldn’t be happening.  “You’ll come by the bronze when you’re done with the brats won’t you.”  Three harem girls, one an Orion one: what was a hormonal teenager’s mind to do but melt down?  Xander nodded slowly, feeling himself heat up through his body, especially since Buffy’s and Willow’s free hands touched him possessively.  “Good,” Cordelia purred, and then turned around.  Xander’s gaze went down, as Cordelia purposefully swayed her hips and ass.  The narrow high-cut panty-like part of the pants offered up a large part of Cordelia’s buttocks.  Xander’s eyes widened, and imagined his two best friends backsides in the same manner.  Oh, boy, there was the erection he’d been fearing-

*No!  Control yourself!  Icebergs, snakes, castration . . .* Xander thought and it was work-

“Nihau!  Xander!” Xander turned his head to the right and saw the Amazon girl, now dressed like another Amazon - namely Wonder Woman - bound to him.  She had died her hair black for the part apparently, she obviously hadn’t had the time to put in the curls Wonder Woman often had, because her hairdo was further still the same, right down to the ribbons. Her star-spangled panties were high-cut, her golden and red bustier were tight around her large breasts and had a very deep cleavage, her high-heeled red boots with white lines fit her perfectly, the tiara looked awesome, the bullet-proof and laser reflecting cuffs finished the look.  “You like?” Lotion asked and made a twirl.  Three harem girls - Cordelia had actually stopped and turned to take in her final rival - looked with angry looks at the Amazon.

“Spandex is back,” Xander muttered as he took her in.  *Oh, no!* Xander thought, as his erection really was unstoppably now.  He was relieved as hell when he noticed it was standing straight up, not forming a tent, so his condition could hopefully stay hidden until it went away. But it wasn’t his fault!  Three harem girls, one an Orion slave girl, and Wonder Woman - a century old man in his death throws wouldn’t be able to keep it down.  Lotion smiled sweetly, while Buffy and Willow felt disappointed, and pained that it seemed the Wonder Woman get up was more of a hit than their harem girls outfits.  Lucky for them, Xander added softly without thought, “Frilly not gone, I’m multi-preference guy now.”  Buffy and Willow straightened their backs again, glaring at Lotion.

The Amazon took in the Slayer and the redhead, and then said, “I knew it.  Pig-nosed girl, and skeleton have /no/ self-esteem and are hypocrites.  Look at you . . .”

“Now listen here, you bitch!” Buffy yelled back interrupting the Amazon.  “With Halloween you’re supposed to come as something you’re not!  I can wear whatever the hell I want to wear, and it doesn’t make me anything!”

“Stupid pig-nosed- . . .” Lotion started.

This time Willow cut in, being dressed like a ferocious Orion slave girl, made this so much easier, “You stop insulting us, three-year-old ribbons-in-your-hair!  You’re the skank that falls in love with a guy that beats you up!”

“Light house not- . . .”

“SHUT UP!” Xander yelled out, fed up with the fighting girls, his erection gone.  They did. “You three stop insulting each other, and start acting like the friends you are, damn it!  I’m tired of this.”

“FRIENDS!?” Buffy exclaimed in disbelief.  “We’re not friends!”

“If you weren’t, you would have tried to beat her up already, even if you couldn’t win!  And Willow, you would have complained more about her to me and Buffy,” Xander explained, stunning the girls, and then stalked toward the entrance.

“They’re not friends of mine!  You forced me to interact!” Lotion exclaimed.

Xander turned around, and grinned, “Nope, I forced you not to attack them, I never said anything about simply ignoring them, which you would have if you didn’t consider them friends somewhere.”  Xander then entered the school, disappearing from sight.

The three girls stood silently watching each other for a few moments.  “Xander’s wrong,” Buffy said, and nodded with satisfaction at that statement and followed him inside.  Willow and Lotion looked at each other for a little longer, then narrowed their eyes at each other, before following Buffy.

Inside, the band guitarist, one Daniel ‘Oz’ Osbourne was busy with his locker.  He closed it and turned around.  His eyes widened widely when he saw Willow and Lotion walk by.  The girl he had seen as an Eskimo was now dressed like an Orion slave girl.  She looked incredible.  “Who- . . . he- . . .” Oz started to call.

With a thud a large guy dressed as a pirate crashed into Oz back first.  It was Larry, and he looked around, for a moment a frightened look on his face, as he had just avoided Xander, the guy who had picked him off the ground that morning.  Needing to vent his emotions, he latched onto Oz, and growled, “Hey, you little runt!  Can’t you watch where your going!?”

Oz tried to go around Larry on either side, but was blocked to his utter frustration.  “You’re the one who- . . .” he tried finally.

Larry shoved him hard against the locker, and said, “Are you speaking back to me?”

Oz looked up annoyed, he could make this a fight, but the girl.  He shook his head.  “Good, coward,” Larry told him and left him.  Oz looked back down the corridor.

“Damn,” he muttered when he couldn’t find her anymore.

*****

“Buffy Summers, you just love to prove how much of a vagrant you are, don’t you?” Snyder’s voice sneered at harem girl Buffy.  Buffy looked at him, wanting to say something, but Snyder ignored her, pointing and said, “Here’s your group.  Just don’t talk to them, they don’t need your negative influence.”  Snyder then turned around and walked up the stairs.

Buffy ended her angry stare, realizing she couldn’t take it out on the kids by staying angry. She turned to her group, bent forward a bit, and started with a smile, “Hi- . . .”

“UH!”

Buffy looked up a little startled, seeing Snyder turned around, and pointing a warning finger at her.  Her shoulders slumped, and Snyder continued his trek upstairs.  Once he was out of sight, she said, “Come on, guys.”

Willow took her own group along, and Xander took in his proteges.  “Some tips,” Xander said with a big grin.  “On sleazing extra candy: tears are key.  Tears will normally get you the double-bagger.  You can also try the old ‘you missed me’ routine, but it’s risky.  Only go there for chocolate.  Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” the kids shouted happily in choir, nodding their hands.

“Okay, troops,” Xander said taking lead.  The kids turned as one, where their faces were visible, their smiles could be seen.  “Let’s move out!” Xander said, pointing in the direction with his plastic gun, and he started walking, the kids - single-file - walked dutifully after him.

Lotion looked at her group of trick or treaters, and then smiled at them.  “You guys have luck,” Lotion told them with a grin, “if I had forgot to ask friends about trick or treat, I wouldn’t even know what to do.”  The kids looked at each other with dubious expressions after that statement.  “Let’s go, we get most candy of all,” Lotion said, and then led her group outside.

*****

Ethan Rayne finished his spell to roman god of chaos Janus, and the magic spread outward. Deo felt the magic pass her by when she finished a dish, and looked up.  It was just getting dark out, and Deo thought of what she felt.  “Hmm, magic,” she thought with dread.  “Doesn’t feel good, don’t know much about magic, certainly not western magic.  I should look up the expert.”

*****

The nice old lady bent forward and said, “Oh, don’t you look cute.  Let’s see what we’ve got- . . .”  Bent down to look in her goodies bag, she failed to see the kids dressed as demons turn into /actual/ demons.  The first grabbed the lady’s throat and squeezed hard, growling.

“Hey!” Willow called out in shock.  “What are you doing!?”  She took several steps forward, grabbing for the ‘kid’.  A demon next to the first wanted the ‘treat’ too and reached for the lady.  The first demon slapped the second’s hand away, and then started fighting each other.  The old lady regained her breath, shrieked and fled into her house, closing the door.

“Stop that!” Willow exclaimed, and noticed the change in the boys.  She felt something coming, and quickly told the still normal kids who looked frozen in shock, “Go!  Run!  Ugh!” The kids snapped out of their stupor and ran away screaming as Willow staggered back.  Then she stopped, took a deep sensual breath and righted herself.  She let her head roll around, stretched her back, and licked her upper lip.  “Mmh, whoa, what am I doing here?  Where /is/ here?” she said and looked around, noticing the fighting monsters.  “What species are you?”

The monsters stopped their struggling, looked over at her, and got up.  They growled at the green woman, seeing a tasty treat.  Willow bared her teeth suddenly, and growled right back from the back of her throat.  She could growl sensually, but this was nothing but a ferocious growl.  The monsters went rigid, then turned around, and ran away screaming.  Willow righted herself again, pushed her bosom out, and looked around.  “Damn,” she spoke suddenly.  “I better find my master quick, or a way back to him.  If he gets angry I’ll get whipped again, and I don’t want another one already.”  Willow gingerly touched her ass, and was surprised it didn’t sting.  She turned around and looked, no characteristic discoloring.  “Then again . . .” she said with a sexy grin, thinking she had been away longer than she had thought.  Perhaps she had been drugged; but who would beam away and drug a sex toy from her master? Confused she started out to find out answers, and hopefully her master.  She paused for a moment, then reached up to her head and found the shawl.  With raised brows of confusion she ripped it away.  She shook her head letting her red hair toss about a bit, and then settle naturally.  Soon she focused on the street, and found chaos.

*****

Private Xander Harris rose up, machine gun against right shoulder, peering along his scope, ready to pull the trigger when necessary.  Chaos everywhere, women and children screaming, and running from monsters - some human, some distinctly inhuman.  Private Harris assessed the situation, and realized he didn’t have enough intelligence or for that matter a mission briefing on what was going on.  He better not come to any conclusions, and only work on self-defense for a while.

A monster jumped at him, and he shot it.  The demon dropped to the floor in pain, and to Private Harris’ shock he watched as the wound started closing.  Quickly he slammed the butt of his machine gun hard into the monster’s head.  To his relief, the monster slumped into unconsciousness, even while its wound continued healing.

“Master!  You are here!” a voice called enthusiastically and Xander swivelled around, machine gun back in firing position.  He looked directly at a very scantily dressed, green-painted woman.

“Who are you?” Private Harris snapped out reflexively.

“Who am I?” Willow asked in surprise.  “But Master, don’t you recognize your third wife, and sex slave?”

“Why would I have three wives?  Why would I have a sex slave?  And why would I marry a woman who paints herself green?” Xander snapped out his questions.

“Paints herself . . .?” Willow said, and looked down.  She looked back up and said in shock, “I’m not painted, my skin is green; all Orions have green skin.”  She rubbed furiously over her left arm, the color did not change or blur out, “See, master?”

“I am not your master,” Xander answered her.  Strange, she seemed familiar somehow, and yet he knew for certain he never saw her before in his life.

Willow sighed, and said, “Whoever placed us here, must have tampered with your brain.”

“Look out!” Xander exclaimed, and Willow turned around.  A demon came flying and her arm suddenly shot out, slamming the heal of her hand in the flying demon’s chin, with a quick yell.

The demon flew back and rolled around, surprising private Harris, and Willow hissed, “Don’t you dare touch my master!”

“We require a more strategic position,” Xander stated calmly, covering the street with his gun.

“Of course, master, but where?  I am unfamiliar with this place,” Willow said, arched back.

“That way is as good as any,” Xander said and started walking, weirded out that the green girl continued to call her master.  Willow nodded and followed her master, bent through her knees, ready to pounce, and looking around.

They walked like that down the street, but saw nothing familiar.  Until . . .

“AAAH!” sounded and a girl came running from a side street.  A blonde girl that was wearing a red harem outfit.

“Buffy,” Willow said in surprise.

“MASTER!” the girl screamed when she recognized Xander.  She changed course and slid to her knees in front of him.  “Save me, master!”

“I am /not/ your master,” Xander said in annoyance as two growling demons appeared from the side street.

“Of course you are.  You are our great, strong, master.  Willow?” Buffy whimpered, looking with up dazzled eyes at Xander, utterly in love.

“His mind was tampered with,” Willow said gently to the sweet Buffy.

Xander rolled his eyes in irritation, aiming for the demons, and said, “I think we’ve got more important things to deal with right now, don’t you?”

“You are right, master, as always,” Willow said smiling, and turned to the onrushing demons.

Surprising them all, a woman came rushing in, and beat the crap out of both demons in an instant.  And then neatly dragged the unconscious demons off the street.  Deo came walking over, took the gun in for a moment, and then said, “Do not kill the demons.  They are children dressed for Halloween, but magic has turned them into their costumes.  Should you kill them, I do not know whether they will be brought back to life when the spell is broken.  You too changed into your costumes.”

“Ma’am, that is ludicrous,” Private Harris stated.

“Of course, everyone knows magic doesn’t exist,” Willow stated calmly, making Deo look at the two of them.  “Perhaps we’re in a holosuite that’s malfunctioning, that could explain this.  What do you think, master?”

Deo sighed, and said, “Get to 1630 Revello Drive, around the corner.  She has a key, you can hole up in there.”  The thirty-something-year-old woman looked around the neighborhood, where the chaos was still going on.  Luckily, she considered, most of the ones not affected had already returned screaming to their houses, leaving only the ones affected; and their supernatural existence should keep them mostly safe, or at least alive for the time being.  “I’ll get to someone who can solve this, now hurry.”  Deo then ran onward.

“What should we do, master?” Buffy asked whimpering.

Xander took a deep breath, and decided, “We don’t have anything to lose, we might as well check out the address.  Let’s move out.”

“Yes, master,” the girls answered together and followed Xander down the road.

*****

Elsewhere in Sunnydale, Spike with four more vampires behind him stepped through the chaos.  Pirates fought demons, Jedi fought pirates; damsels in distress ran screaming soon finding a noble knight to protect them, and the occasional unchanged ones were running, screaming and/or hiding similarly.  “I like this,” the vamped out Spike said with a grin.  “Oh, I really like this, I can work with this.  Boys, imagine, out here, somewhere, is a Slayer who doesn’t even know who or what she is.”  The other vampires chuckled evilly.  “Let’s find her, and bring some of the new recruits, I’m certain they’ll join us when we explain the treat that is waiting for them.”  Spike then laughed loudly.

*****

Wonder Woman looked around her.  Magic and demons.  She had faced both before, although the latter was more uncommon.  One demon was chasing a girl in an elaborate blue dress that was screaming.  Wonder Woman always helped those that couldn’t help themselves.  She flew forward and knocked the small demon out with a solid fist to its chin.  The reaction she got from the girl was unexpected though.  The girl looked with confusion and fear at her, and then ran onward with a scream.

“Now that was unexpected,” Wonder Woman, aka Diana, Princess of Paradise Island and Amazon ambassador to the United States told herself.  She looked around, and chaos was truly everywhere.  She could start beating demons up or killing them, but until she found out what was going on, where she was and how she got here that wouldn’t be very productive. Wonder Woman took to the air, but stayed low so she could keep close watch and get down fast enough if any of the demons were about to attack another innocent.  Oddly enough, most of those that seemed human were fighting back, or fighting amongst each other, some dressed as pirates, and cowboys . . . She shook her head, this was just utter chaos, a free for all.   “What the . . .” Wonder Woman muttered in shock, lowering herself to the floor.  She took a better look, got another glimpse and was gone.  Had that really been Spider-man slinging between the houses?  That couldn’t be; super hero comics didn’t really work in a world with real life super heroes, but Spider-man was one of the very few exceptions.  The story of a young guy trying to do what’s right in a world that hates all super humans had a powerful appeal to the people of her world, and indeed even the super heroes.  There were often debates among a few super heroes that ranged around, ‘What would you do if you were in that situation?’  It was also a reminder that they were probably very lucky with a race of humans that at least accepted them, if not revered them in comparison to that.  That really couldn’t have been Spider-man, could it?

She shook her head and looked around, seeing a group of three humans or at least humanoids, one a soldier, the other two women in harem girl clothes, one of them with green skin.  The outfits were an affront to her feminist sensibilities, but she would reserve judgement.  Now, she couldn’t quite place the fatigues, they seemed old, but she was pretty certain it was American.  He might have an idea of what was going on.  She walked to them, and said, “Hail, soldier, I hoped you know what is going on.”

Xander had twisted around and pointed his gun directly at a woman dressed as wonder woman.  He relaxed his stance, but just a bit.  “Not really, everything is chaos, I just heard an explanation but that was too strange for words,” Private Harris explained quickly and to the point.  “These two civilians have come under my protection, you can join us if you wish.”

Wonder Woman frowned, and asked, “Why would I need protection?”

Xander’s eyebrows raised, and said, “Because you’re an unarmed civilian?”

“I am Wonder Woman,” Wonder Woman stated as if that explained anything.

Private Harris looked at her silently for a moment, and then groaned in frustration. “Master?” Buffy questioned uncertain.  Willow just looked suspiciously at the interloper.

“Master?” Wonder Woman exclaimed in shock.

Xander shook his head and looked up at the sky, muttering, “Great, two of them think they’re my slaves, now a third thinks she’s a comic book character.  Really awesome!  And where’s the brass when you need them?”

“Comic book character!?” Wonder Woman asked in surprise.  “I’m as real as anyone, and I’m right here.  I don’t think I should take a slave driver’s word for anything.”

“Slave- . . .” Private Harris shook his head again, and said, “Okay, Lady, are you coming with us or not.  If you do, shut up and follow us.”

“What!?  I am /Wonder/ /Woman/ !” Wonder Woman exclaimed in annoyance.  “I don’t take orders from a simple soldier.  You should be following mine, the governments of the world have given me jurisdiction, understood?”

Xander sighed, everything would soon be even more fubar if he went and followed the orders of a loon, and so he told her, “Look, lady, insane or not, Wonder Woman or not, you can either be part of the solution, or part of the problem.  We’re going to what was said to be a safe house.  You’re either with us or not, but if you are, you follow my orders, it’s that simple.”

Wonder Woman was taken aback by that, and watched as his companions suddenly looked at him with huge admiring - if not downright worshiping - and aroused eyes.  It was obvious they were staying with him . . . and she was sworn to protect those who couldn’t defend themselves after all.  “Fine,” she said with a little annoyance.  “I’ll follow your orders.”

Xander nodded satisfactorily, and walked past her.  She joined the outer ranks of the little entourage, and watched with the disgust as the two girls looked at the soldier with adoring, obedient eyes.  The disgust grew when she noted that the see-through pants allowed her to see a glistening beneath both the girls’ crotches.  By Hera, they had gotten aroused by his show of masculinity.  She sighed, this was going to be a long day.  As they walked to this ‘safe house’, she suddenly remembered Spider-man when she thought over this soldier’s claims she was a comic book character.  Perhaps she hadn’t just switched locales, but also dimensions?  Could she be a comic book character here?  Things were really getting more strange by the moment.

Xander quickly walked onward, moving his gun from left to right.  He had read the street name, and was now reading numbers to find the right one.  He ignored several demons chasing a few kids down the street.  “We have to help them,” Wonder Woman stated when she saw it.

“No, we do not,” Xander answered annoyed.  “I have no intelligence on the situation, or the mission, and you have been placed under my protection.  Until I know more about the situation I will keep reasons for the mission and your safety to go fubar at a minimum.”

“Fubar, master?” Willow wondered.

Wonder Woman spoke, “Could letting innocent little children be torn to shreds be part of mission objectives?”

Xander froze, thought, and then rose in defeat, “Fine, I’ll go get them, but if they slit our throats in our sleep, I will petition death you be sent to hell.  Willow, protect these two.” Xander then ran off.

Wonder Woman had in mind to go with him, but the casual way he dismissed her as a valuable asset to such an extent she needed protection kept her rooted to the floor in shock and annoyance for just a moment too long.  Buffy leaned over to Willow and said, “They really feebled master’s mind, didn’t they?  He would never have accepted such a tone from a woman.”

Willow nodded, and said, “Master, don’t worry, when I find who did it, I shall make them pay dearly.”  Willow suddenly looked up, as she noticed a bunch of demons started to encircle them.  “They don’t seem particularly friendly,” Willow said with a grimace, and putting herself in a ready stance.

Private Harris by now had rounded a corner and was out of sight.  Not out of hearing, though.  Several shots were heard, while one little demon jumped at the group of three women.  Wonder Woman simply caught the demon by its leg, and flung it off in another direction, slamming into a few more demons and bringing them down.  Then Xander reemerged, carrying two frightened children.  He paused then, and waved at them.  The three women saw it, as Willow knocked down another demon, and then the three of them ran toward Xander who ducked into a garden.

A few moments later, with the demons not too far behind them, they ducked into the same garden and house.  “Buffy, the key,” Xander said gesturing for her too hurry up, while the kids he held up started crying.

“But I don’t have a- . . .” Buffy complained padding herself down to show she was right. She bumped against something hard wrapped into something soft near her waist.  She looked down.  It was a small pouch, which hung from the waist of her pants on a hanger.  She opened the pouch and to her shock retrieved a key.  Xander rapidly took it, unlocked the door and swung it open.

“Hurry!” called out, taking the kids and handing over one to either harem girl as they rushed inside.  “Hurry, hurry, hurry, move!” Xander called out, gesturing for Wonder Woman, who promptly went inside.  Xander did too and closed the door rapidly.  Just before he closed it there was a loud sound of demons crashing against the door.  The door opened a bit with the impact and closed right away with Xander’s pushing.  He pushed hard against the door to keep the demons out.  Wonder Woman joined him in his efforts and a moment later the door was closed and once more locked.  “We need to barricade it,” Xander said, and he and girls went to look for something.  A table, and a few stairs were quickly donated.

*****

“Hello, Rupert.”

Giles suddenly stood straight from alphabetizing his filing cabinets.  He whirled around and looked directly at Jenny Calendar dressed like a French Maid.  “Jenny . . . I- uh . . .”

Jenny grinned and seductively walked over while saying, “I knew you would be up to this, doing some filing on a nice night like this.”  Giles found himself blocked by his cabinet as Jenny pressed herself against him.  “So I thought to myself, my boyfriend will be all alone, what should I do?  And I realized, it was about time we take this to the next level.”

“Uh . . .” Giles managed, as his body heated up quickly.  Jenny pressed her crotch area, barely covered by a tiny black skirt against his, and then pressed her lips against his.  A moment later her tongue slipped into his mouth.

With a whoosh the library doors were swung open.  “Stop the smooching,” an authoritative voice commanded.

Giles and Jenny quickly parted and a flustered Giles spoke, “W-we were n-no- . . .”

“You were, and we don’t have time for this,” Deo spoke stopping right in front of Giles and Jenny.  “We’ve got trouble, it seems everyone turned into their costume.”

“E-everyone?” Giles asked.

Deo nodded, “Yes- well, actually I think I’ve seen a few exceptions.”

“Like me,” Jenny commented, gesturing to her almost pornographic costume.

“Certainly my daughter’s future husband and his friends, as well as my daughter were affected,” Deo stated quickly.  “I felt the wave of magic wash over me, it was almost tangible, I came to here immediately - after kicking out a few customers.”

His charges!  Giles was all business now, and asked, “Any commonalities to the ones affected.”

Deo thought it over, and then said, “My daughter, her future husband and his friends went to get costumes together, it would be the same store; what did she call it again?  E- . . . Enad’s, no, Ethan’s, that’s it: Ethan’s!”

“I got mine at Party Town,” Jenny commented, even as Giles went rigid.  It couldn’t be, it had to be coincidence!

“Do you have an address?” Giles asked coolly.

Deo frowned for a moment, and then said, “No, but I know it’s near Wal Mart.”

Giles went over to his weapons cabinet and took out an axe, then walked resolutely out the library, saying, “Stay here, I’ll handle this.”

“You su- . . .” Deo started.

“Yes,” and Giles was out of sight.

“Wow,” Jenny purred with a smile.

“What?” Deo asked the other woman.

Jenny grinned at her, and said, “I’ve never seen his take-charge, bugger-all, determined side, didn’t know he had such a side; it’s very . . . hmm . . .”

*****

The demons had given up getting in - for now at least.

“Now that we have time,” Willow said with a smirk, walking over to Xander with swaying hips.  “Would you like a relaxing blowjob, master?”  Willow licked her lips.

“By two of your wives?” Buffy added, coming to stand next to Willow.  Xander’s eyes bugged out in disbelief.  This was just so . . .

“Uh, ladies, I’m sorry, but no, there are children present,” Xander tried to get away, pointing at the two scared little kids sitting on the couch.

“Hmm, intercourse, threesome, upstairs, please, master?” Buffy asked.

“No!” Xander said forcefully, but not unkind.  “Get your minds out of the gutter, they may be back at any time!”  He then walked away from them.

Wonder Woman looked at them, and they looked at her.  “You two are disgusting,” she said, shaking her head.

“So are you, bitch,” Willow hissed out, as Buffy glared at the super heroine.

Xander stopped when he saw the picture on the dresser in the hallway.  He blinked, and then picked up the photograph.  Two of the girls with him on the picture wasn’t a big surprise, but that he was himself on there was.  He frowned at the smiling face, and the smiling faces of the girls with him.  The redhead seemed very shy.  “Hey, perhaps that woman wasn’t completely full of it after all,” Xander called, then turned around to show the picture.

The three girls came over, and while Buffy and Willow took in the picture, Wonder Woman asked, “Full of it?”

“She claimed we turned into our costumes through magic,” Xander spoke with raised eyebrows.

“Magic is real,” Wonder Woman confirmed casually, not that the crazy woman had much leeway with Xander.  Wonder Woman though, started thinking; costume, Spider-man, comic book character.  She was /not/ Wonder Woman?

“Hey, that really does look like me, somewhat,” Buffy muttered taking in the picture.

“That can’t be me!” Willow exclaimed, practically in horror.  “Look at that, all shy, and small, and hiding.  Now look at me!  I’m not even green on the picture.  It’s obviously doctored, or she just looks like me, or this is all holograms.”  Willow looked around the others, “Right, master?” Willow pouted with big hopeful eyes at Xander.

“Yeah, that’s got to be it, or not, master?” Buffy said, looking hopefully at Xander, who felt the need to comfort them.  Wonder Woman rolled her eyes at the pathetic display.

“That must be it,” Xander said, figuring that if the woman succeeded it didn’t matter much if they believed their identities now; in fact, it would be better strategically to have them have the mental strength to fight, and not just hide in a corner.

“Oh, good, you’re all here, thank god, it’s- . . .”

Xander turned, jumped forward and slammed the intruder up against the open door, the nuzzle of the gun against his jugular.  “Don’t move, scumbag,” Xander commanded, and Angel looked with wide-eyed shock at Xander.  Wonder Woman looked surprised, and the harem girls stayed back shocked behind their master.  “See about the back door,” Xander then ordered Wonder Woman who he was starting to suspect was ‘actually’ Wonder Woman; or precisely a magically induced ‘real’ Wonder Woman.  Annoyed to be ordered around, but seeing the logic in the decision of her doing it, Wonder Woman quickly went to the back of the house.

“What’s wrong with you, boy!?  Chaos is out there, we need to do something!  Buffy, tell him,” Angel growled out.  When he actually looked at Buffy and what she was wearing his eyes bugged out, and his jaw dropped.

“Tell my master?” Buffy asked confused, but undulating under the appreciative look.  She gave Willow a look.  The Orion shrugged.  “I can’t order my master to do anything,” Buffy muttered.

“Master?” Angel exclaimed shocked, and then narrowed his eyes in suspicion.  “Harris, what did you do?”

Xander growled, and told the intruder, “Nothing, and I’m the one with the gun pointed at your throat.  You are the one who came barging in here; now who are you, before I pull the trigger.”

Angel blinked several times.  “You better do as he says,” Willow surreptitiously said with a smile, shaking her tush suggestively.  “Master never makes empty promises when it comes to punishment.  If my ass could talk . . .”

Xander rolled his eyes, while Angel looked shocked at the green-skinned, submissive, sexual predator version of the girl he still saw as the sweet and shy type.  Xander was really getting tired of the whole ‘master’ thing.  Sure, it was a nice sexual fantasy for a night, but having mostly strangers go on about it all the time was getting annoying quickly.  He pushed the gun harder and said, “Well?”

“I’m Angel, I’m a friend of all of you, you can trust me,”Angel spoke out loud.  “We’ve fought the forces of darkness and stuff like this together.”

“You fought in the gulf?” Xander asked with narrowed eyes.

Angel looked at him, and then said, “Yes, I’m still bummed that we didn’t finish Saddam back then right away.”

Xander looked at the guy, like with the others, despite the fact that he /knew/ he’d never met them before, there was something familiar about him.  And the picture of him and the other two proved he should go with that feeling.  “Apparently we all became our costumes,” Xander commented to the vampire, whose eyes widened in understanding.

“HEEEELP!!  AAAAH!”  The high-pitched scream penetrated the house easily.

A moment later Wonder Woman returned, and said, “We need to help whoever that is.”

“The back door?” Xander questioned as he went to the front door and looked out.

“Barricaded, a chair under the handle, couldn’t find a key,” Wonder Woman answered immediately; the annoyance starting to ebb away.  The soldier’s take charge attitude was familiar, beyond even the similarity with Batman from the League.

“I’ll go get her, you keep this door closed while I’m gone,” Xander said, while pulling aside the barricade.  He unlocked the door, and tossed the key to Wonder Woman.  A moment later he slipped out, and ran out on the chaos-filled street.  He quickly found the source of the screaming.  A young woman being chased by five monsters.  Without taking her in, he grabbed her, pulled her aside, and shot several warning shots across the demons’ heads.  He really hoped he wouldn’t be forced to kill any kids, he guessed he had to be lucky the first one he shot had a big healing capacity.  The demons flinched, and slowed down, half afraid, half confused.  It was really all he needed, he grabbed the girl around her waist, and pulled her along back to the house, saying, “Run!”

She did, and so did he.  A few moments later they were back inside, and Wonder Woman and Angel were busy closing the door and rebarricading it.  “Oh, Xander, you guys, I tried to fight them, but five was just too much,” Cordelia Chase said breathing hard.

Buffy and Willow’s eyes widened in recognition of the green-dressed harem girl.  “Cordelia, you here too?” Willow asked with wide eyes, “Does that mean the others are too?”

It was then that both Xander and Wonder Woman took a good look, and both thought the exact same thing, *Not another one.*

“What the hell are you talking about?” Cordelia exclaimed in confusion.

Buffy clarified, “The head wife, the second, and the fifth, are they here too?”  Cordelia looked at her, “The master has six wives remember?  I’m six, Willow is three, you’re four?” Buffy then pointed at Xander, “Master?”

“ME?!  A harem wife!?  Of Xander!?” Cordelia blurted out.  Then added less powerfully, thinking, about why she had put the costume on in the first place, “Okay, that last is a possibility.”  Cordelia wouldn’t be Cordelia if she hadn’t added, “And you went mental when?”

Angel spoke up, “When whatever spell kicked in that made them become their costumes.”

“WHAT!?” Cordelia exclaimed and then looked outside, remembering all the little demons. “Oh, shit.”

“No, we are not.  Magic does not exist, I’m an Orion,” Willow stated with conviction.

Cordelia looked at Willow for a while, and then disappeared into the kitchen.  Everyone looked at each other wondering.  The faucet ran, closed, and then Cordelia returned.  She walked over to Xander and splashed the water in his face.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FOR!?” Xander demanded, and everyone but Cordelia looked with shock at the female Xander, and Xander equally shocked at the high-pitched voice that came from her throat and the sudden tightness of his uniform around his chest.  She reached fort her throat with her left hand, and came along an obstruction.  She felt her throat and then went down, fondling her left breast for a moment.  She looked down, seeing her breasts straining against the fabric, one button threatened to spring open.  She took a deep breath - the middle button sprung forming a diamond shape offering of parts of her breasts - and she screamed, “AAAAAH!!  What the hell!?”

Cordelia looked pointedly at the female Xander, and said, “Xander, the guy he was before the costume took over, not Private Harris here, fell into a cursed pool of the drowned girl. Now cold water makes him a girl, warm water makes him a guy again.”

Private Harris took himself in, and realized the newest member of Harem Girls Anonymous had proven the case, to him at least.  “Oh, my god, master?” Buffy whispered in shock. Then rectified herself questioningly, “Mistress?”

Buffy turned to her companion, and the green-skinned Willow looked at Buffy in shock. “You were saying about magic?” Cordelia said coolly.  Cordelia then noticed Wonder Woman looking at her, and bit out, “What are you looking at?”

“What you’re wearing: degrading, unfeminist,” Wonder Woman stated.

“And what do you call yours?” Cordelia told the super heroine bluntly indicating the skintight almost naked costume.  “At least I’m mostly covered up, you can’t even see my mouth,” Cordelia said and pointed at the green half see-through cloth in front of her mouth. Wonder Woman glared at Cordelia and was about to say something when a powerful slam rocked the front door.  Everyone turned to look at it, and Angel jumped forward and peeked behind a curtain.  “It’s Spike,” Angel said.

“Who?” a chorus of voices asked, effectively ending their philosophizing about what was happening.

“Trust me, it’s bad,” Cordelia said with a hint of fear.

*****

Outside one of the vampires asked Spike, “What will this help?  We can’t get in without an invitation.”  A costume demon crashed into the front door again, and then turned away for the second to crash into it.

“We can’t, but they can,” Spike said with a huge grin.  “You two, go around back.”  To dark-brown demons looked at Spike, chuckled and growled at the same time, and sped off. “This is going to be fun,” Spike said, looking around at the at least sixteen demons around him.

*****

Inside Wonder Woman was pushing back against the door.  “Their strength is nothing compared to mine, I’ll be able to keep this up for hours,” Wonder Woman relayed to the others.

“Good,” Xander said with a grin, with any luck between then and now the woman that had known what was going on had solved the problem at the source.  Taking charge of the situation had temporarily alleviated her concerns about her now female state, and she was throwing herself into it fully

There was a crash of glass from the kitchen, and Angel quickly sped to it.  A moment later the large window of the living room shattered and dropped.  “Fuck, Buffy stay with the kids,” Xander cursed, and went to the two demons climbing in.  Wonder Woman took a step back from the door, when she realized those demons too were going for the window.

Buffy nodded her head in fright, and went to the children, coaxing them to trust her and taking them by hand, one on either side.  She returned to the middle, so she had as many avenues of escape as possible to protect the children . . . and herself.

At the same time, Willow quickly appeared next to Xander, baring her teeth at the demon. “You won’t touch my ma- mistress,” she whispered dangerously, but the ever increasing numbers of demons were not impressed.  The fight started a moment later, with a frightened Buffy holding two frightened children by hand watching.

“Buffy!” Xander called slamming the butt of her gun into a demon’s face - it would be so much easier if she could just shoot them.  “See if the way out back is free!”

Buffy jerked and then fearfully nodded, “Yes, master.”  She shook her head, rectifying, “Mistress.”  She quickly sped into the kitchen, taking the kids along, looking frightened as Angel was fighting two demons - one large, one small - that had come through the kitchen door after smashing in its glass, and wiggling away the chair.  Swallowing fearfully she went around the table and looked out the window.  There didn’t seem to be any more demons outside.  She didn’t know what to do.  What did master want?  Report now?  Or wait till this ally had taken care of the demons?  Or take the children as far away right now as possible? She watched fearfully as Angel slammed the little demon against a door post, and it slumped into unconsciousness.  The bigger demon tackled Angel to the ground, and Buffy fearfully circled further, away from the fighting couple and closer to the back door, the children went along.

The demon and the man struggled, the monster’s mouth coming closer to Angel’s neck. With effort Angel twisted them around so he was now on top.  He forced the innocent man taken by magic down, and vamped out for extra strength.  He the turned around, and said, “Buffy, the frying pan!”

“AAAH!!” Buffy and the children screamed in fright at Angel’s vamp face.  Buffy on her own added, as the kids started sobbing,  “MASTER!!  HELP!!  HE’S A . . . HE’S A . . . VAMPIRE!!”

“Buffy, no, stay- . . .”  Angel tried, but too afraid to think clearly, Buffy ran out the back door into the darkness, pulling the children along.

The demon then gave a howl into the air, and Angel looked down in confusion as most of the demon’s struggling ceased.  A moment later Xander with the others in tow entered.  She slammed the demon on his head with the butt of her gun, and it slumped.  “They all just . . . What the!?”  Xander pointed the gun back at Angel.

“You’re a vampire!?” Cordelia exclaimed in shock.  Willow looked ferociously at Angel.

“I’m a good one!  Some gypsies cursed me with a soul!” Angel called out in explanation.

“The blonde left with the children, the demons left,” Wonder Woman observed as Angel got up and put away his game face.

“That’s why it howled, they’re after Buffy, they don’t care about the rest of us,” Angel quickly surmised.  He explained, “She’s the Chosen One to fight the forces of darkness, the Slayer, and she’s been reduced to a frightened s- . . . sex slave.”

“We have to find her and the kids, before this Spike does.  Move out, troops,” Xander commanded and smoothly ran past Angel and out the back door.  The rest followed, and Xander said, “Which way did she go?”

“I can follow her scent,” Angel said, and as Xander gestured he took point.

*****

The group walked fast through the night, following Angel’s nose.  They didn’t run, they couldn’t quite afford to run into traps, or lots of demons.  Wonder Woman was annoyed.  The green-skinned girl, and the other harem girl was who was annoying her.  Both wore their outfit with a sense that it was them, although Cordelia somewhat less.  Willow though, was worse, the same as the third, the blonde, they seemed to wear their subservience, their submissiveness, their stature as slave wife, as property with a righteousness, and almost pride they shouldn’t be.  They were human beings, women, they should be free, not chained and shackled.  Even if it was a spell, she couldn’t understand why the apparently very smart woman, and the other an independent champion of good would lower themselves to even put on a mere costume like that.  It was . . . wrong to the Amazon.

“I do not understand you,” she started looking with narrowed eyes from the ‘Orion’ to the Human.  “Why would you lower yourselves to this?  We are women, we are meant to be free, not slaves to a man’s every whim.  You are doing a disservice to everything feminism has fought for, for the past seventy years.  How can you toss that just aside?”

Willow looked confused at Wonder Woman, and said, “Huh?  I’m not from this planet remember?  I’ve got no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Like feminism is so good,” Cordelia mocked the super heroine.  “I’ve heard the sounds from them lately; men are bad this, men are bad that, men are pigs thus.  Hell, I’ve heard them say men should be locked away in cages, and only left alive for procreation.”

Wonder Woman nodded painfully, and said, “All right, there are some bad apples, and the press seems to enjoy putting them on more for the sensation, but still the basics of equality are something that women are striving for, you’re setting it back.”

“By wearing a Halloween costume?” Cordelia asked incredulously as they walked along. “Besides, even if it weren’t a simple Halloween costume, and Willow and Buffy chose this way of life on their own free will, they still wouldn’t set back the movement.”

“Whenever a woman chooses a man clearly above herself, she sets examples for girls to do the same,” Wonder Woman answered her.

“Bullshit, the first thing of equality would mean women have equal free choice to choose their way of life like any man has,” Cordelia argued getting worked up.  She had always considered Wonder Woman and her views on feminism and others thinking like her as detrimental and Wonder Woman hypocritical.  “That means /any/ choice even becoming a man’s effective sex slave.  You wish to take that very freedom of choice away from women again, and force them to choose something that is only sanctioned as ‘good woman choice’ by you and ‘the movement’, effectively destroying their freedom of choice and the very essence of equality and feminism.”  Wonder Woman had gotten darker with every moment that Cordelia’s speech continued, especially since part of it ran uncomfortably true.  Cordelia suddenly stopped, turned around and faced Wonder Woman directly.  “In fact,” Cordelia began, looking eye to eye with the amazon, as the others stopped and soon were going to intervene, “those women who chose this way of life, to become this sex slave, to wear these types of clothes constantly, obey, follow their own inner sexual desires, going straight against the party sanctioned female way of life, against what common ideas about good for women are, are some of the greatest feminists of these days.  They take their right to choose, and do so, and let me tell you, against all criticisms and looked down upon, enjoying this degradation, wearing these clothes, because that’s the way they feel, makes them much /stronger/ than you are.  I mean, look at you, super strength, enough power to lift buildings out of the ground, and still you think the only way to defeat a man is flash him some skin - that’s truly weak.”

Wonder Woman was steaming by now, and said, “You take that back, or else I’ll show just how ‘weak’ I am.”

Cordelia just smirked, as Xander tried, “Now, ladies, we don’t have time for this estrogen bat- . . .”

“Weak is right, you won’t even lay a finger on me,” Cordelia told the super heroine superiorly.

“That does it!” Wonder Woman exclaimed and pulled her fist back for a devastating punch. Her eyes widened when she felt her golden belt leave her middle.  She looked down and saw Cordelia pull it away with her left hand.  A moment later Cordelia planted her right fist into the Amazon’s stomach and she doubled over with an oof.  The cheerleader followed up with knee to her face, making the Amazon stand back up with a bloody knows.  A right backhand followed and Wonder Woman dropped to the ground, and lay there unconscious.

Cordelia took a step forward and triumphantly held the golden belt of strength above the downed Amazon, and said, “When all your power and speed comes from an accessory, don’t ever face the queen of accessorizing.”  She dropped the belt with a grin, and wiped her hands several times together in a ‘that’s that’ manner.

The other three had gathered around, and looked dumbfounded at the defeated Amazon.  “I can /not/ believe you,” Xander muttered, while Angel looked equally dumbfounded, and Willow looked proud at the mistress’s fourth accomplishment.

“Believe it, Xan,” Cordelia said with a grin.

“You just knocked out Wonder Woman!” Xander called out in disbelief.

Cordelia nodded, “Yep.”

Xander stood straight up, looked at Cordelia and said, “We’re already outnumbered three to one at least, not counting the rest that’s running around here, and then you go and knock out *Wonder* *Woman*!”  Xander pointed heatedly at the defeated super heroine.

Cordelia blinked, examined that statement, and blanched.  “Damn!  I did it again!  When will I learn not show off my superiority, aah!” she yelled at herself, stomping the street in frustration.

Private Harris slammed her head in her free hand and groaned.  “All right, soldier, pick her up, I’m not leaving a man behind,” she ordered looking at Angel.  The vampire hesitated for a moment but then nodded and went to pick up Lotion come Wonder Woman.

Cordelia got an idea and took the belt, putting it on herself.  “Hmm, now to test it.”  She looked around and quickly walked over to a car, grabbed it, and pulled with all her might.  It didn’t move.  “SHIT!” Cordelia cursed and turned back to the others.  “It only works with her.”

Xander groaned, and ordered, “Let’s move, we don’t have much time.”

“Yes, mistress,” Willow answered sexily, and Private Harris groaned.

*****

Giles found himself in front of Ethan’s costume shop, and resolutely entered.  The door was open strangely.  Once inside, he looked around, peering into the darkness.

“Ripper old friend, how have you been these past years?” a familiar voice spoke, and an equally familiar face became visible as the man it belonged to walked into the light.

“Ethan . . .” Giles hissed in angry recognition, “Rayne.  I thought it was you, this has your stink all over it.”

Ethan chuckled walking a little further, as Giles slowly walked around the table in the middle of the shop toward his old friend.  Rayne spoke, “Look at you, mild-mannered, sweet, nice Watcher.  Did you convince your Slayer this is really you?  If she only knew.  I’m right aren’t I?  A Slayer is the only reason you could be out here.”

“A Watcher is what I am now,” Giles said, the two men slowly coming closer.

“No you’re not, Ripper.  You may think you are, but beneath, there’s still the good old rampaging Ripper,” Ethan said with a grin.

“How do I break the spell?” Giles asked, gripping his axe better.

“Now why would I tell you, a mild-mannered watcher that?” Ethan asked with a grin.

A moment later the axe’s handle smashed across Ethan’s face, and he went down with a groan.  “Not so mild-mannered,” Giles hissed and continued his assault.

*****

Buffy breathed hard, running for all she was worth.  She had broken off the heels of her shoes a while ago already.  She and the kids had just entered a misty alley, filled with boxes and a truck.  She had the distinct feeling she had chosen wrong.  A pirate suddenly emerged on top of the truck, climbing around.  He let himself drop to the asphalt, took in Buffy and said, “Arrr, now aren’t you a tasty morsel.”

Oh, my god!  The kids weren’t sobbing or crying anymore, they were just in shock.  Buffy was slowly backing up, thinking, *Master will come save me.  He will, he’ll sweep in, like a knight in shiny armor, and save me!  He won’t allow another man to touch his property.*  She squinted her eyes, willing it to be true, while the pirate was close enough she could smell his disgusting sweat.

“That far, and no further!” a female voice claimed, and footsteps came up right next to Buffy and the children.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked at the female soldier that was her mistress, “Master!  I /knew/ you’d come and save me!”

“Heh, heh, two tasty morsels for the price of one,” the pirate said, and lunged with his sword.  Xander pushed the children and Buffy back, while she threw herself into the pirate’s path.  He used his gun as a shield, for the sword.  The two weapons got entangled and dropped from both their hands.  The tangle slid underneath the truck, out of reach.  With a growl the pirate threw a punch, which Xander automatically deflected off to the side, and landed a solid left hook.  The pirate’s head snapped to his left, and then his whole body was just launched off his feet and slammed against the metal wall of a warehouse, then slumped to the ground.

“What the . . .?” Xander questioned and looked down at her hands.  She had for a moment doubted if she had any strength as a woman, but what she just did attested to extreme amounts of strength - she’d have to be mountain of muscle to do that.  There was something she had done . . . automatically.

“Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention you’re an accomplished and very strong martial artist in your normal state?” Cordelia said from behind her.  Xander whirled around and saw his group had caught up when he had gone ahead seeing Buffy’s and the children’s predicament.

Of all the timings: growls could be heard, and the group of demon hunters - now not quite so - looked around.  A vampire appeared on both sides of the alley, along with several demons.  A few of them too on the roofs ahead.  Spike was one of those and he jumped down, landing smoothly.  He took a drag from his cigarette, pulled it out, and said, “Well, well, well. What have got here?  An outnumbered group of weakened goody two shoes . . . eat them.”

Growls and roars followed as the demons and vampires charged.  Xander smashed the first one into the wall, and ordered, “Inside!”  They ran into the warehouse, to make their final stand.

*****

Giles’ fist crashed across Ethan’s chin, blood spurting forth.  “Watcher training is pretty good, as well as expected to be followed regularly to keep in shape,” Giles said, and kicked the other man in the stomach, making him double up in a fetal position, groaning and moaning.  “Don’t you agree Ethan?”  Giles had a few cuts, and a bruise, but nothing like the condition Ethan was in.

Ethan spat blood at him, and said, “Go toss a salad.”

Another fist smashed in his head, and it slammed hard against the wooden floor.  “The spell, how do I break it?”  Giles prepared to kick again.

“The bust!” Ethan exclaimed quickly.  “Destroy it!”

Giles turned around and found the Janus bust standing on the table.  He quickly reached over, picked it up, and smashed it on the floor.  As it shattered, a white light flashed outward.

*****

Things were not going well.  The kids were huddled beneath a stack of wooden boards. Lotion/Wonder Woman was lying nearby, with Angel in front of all three as protection, but he already had bruises and three demons were attacking him simultaneously.  Buffy had gone into a corner, frightened to death, but Spike had grabbed her, pulled her back, and was taunting her before biting in her neck.  Willow was being held by two powerful demons against another stack of wooden boards, while a third was ready to tear out her heart.  Xander and Cordelia were fighting back to back against all the other demons.  Although they had managed to knock out two demons, the others had managed to land some hits, and especially Cordelia was worse for wear.  Not to mention, how long would they stay unconscious? Perhaps it was time to kill the innocent children.

“Well, ma’am, I must say you’ve been an incredible fighting experience for a civilian, it’s been an honor.  If you have any ideas, apart from killing innocent kids, now’s the time,” Xander told her with a grimace.

Cordelia thought, and suddenly she did have an idea.  “Order your slaves to fight with everything they have, tell them trust their inner instincts, you still had them, so should they.”

Xander turned her head and eyes to Cordelia for a moment, and gave a face that said, ‘It’s worth a shot.’  “Willow, Buffy, fight with everything you have!  Trust your inner instincts, now!”

“What!?” Willow exclaimed while she kept the third demon at bay with an outstretched leg that wouldn’t last long, like she wasn’t doing that already.  Angel looked incredulous at what Xander had just said.

“Master?” Buffy whimpered, with Spike’s fangs above her.

 The bleached-blonde vampire looked up for a moment, and grinned, “No use fighting, Slayer, time to bloody well die.”

“That’s an order!” Xander stated forcefully, blocking another hit.

“Yes, master,” both harem girls replied.

“OOF!!” Spike groaned out as Buffy’s knee smashed into his stomach.  With a yank her hands were free, and she followed it up with an uppercut to Spike’s chin.  The Brit was launched off her and landed painfully on the ground.  With a quick jump Buffy was upright. She looked down at herself in shock, and then grinned.

“My turn,” she said as Spike sat up and looked at her.  Her right elbow slammed back, a wooden beam splintered, on piece shot up into the air and Buffy caught it, now having a stake.

Willow in the meantime, had channeled a magic spell Jenny had taught her without thought, speaking the words. The demons holding her were dislodged with a quick burst of pushing energy.  Willow then grabbed the thrust of the third demon intended to tear out her hard, twisted and threw him over her shoulder.  One of the first two demons had recovered and lunged.  Willow twisted into the lunge, twisted the arm and sent the demon tumbling onward, crashing into his counterpart.  The Orion stood straight, and looked astonished at her hands for a moment, muttering, “How do you fire energy from your hands?”  She then charged a few of the demons surrounding Xander and Cordelia, who started to attack instead of just defend themselves.

Buffy clubbed the back of her makeshift stake across the back of a demon’s head to her right - one that was surrounding her master - and it slumped promptly down.  She jumped instinctively, made a twisting back kick in the air, slamming her foot into a vampire’s head and staggering him back.  A moment later her stake slammed into the vamp’s heart and it dusted.  She turned around, did the same with her stake, and wacked another demon across the head.

Xander smoothly jumped over her, and she knew why.  “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!” Xander called as she flew through the air.  The vampire about to grab and bite Buffy in her neck, didn’t know what hit him.  A hundred punches to his chest in less than a second crushed most of its bones.  To finish it, Xander made a final powerful punch across the vamp’s face and he was launched twisting around his axis backward passed the entrance, and slamming in the wall across the alley.

“Thank you, mistress,” Buffy said with a grin, twisting a demon’s arm behind its back and tossing him against another.  Cordelia in the mean time was fighting side by side with Willow, who seemed to work quite well together.  Angel in the mean time had gained his second wind seeing the change in the battle and had knocked away one demon already.

“Bloody hell!  That’s it!” Spike roared getting up fully, adjusting his leather duster. “Everyone on the slayer!  You bitch are going down.”  The demons turned toward Buffy who was now standing back to back with Xander.  Xander attacked several attacking demons, while Buffy clonked another over the head with the back of her stake.  She turned around to parry one of Spike’s punches, then another.  She bit her lip, this guy was a lot better than the others, she was starting to get self-doubt again.

Suddenly the demons flew back, or were brought to their knees: one teenager, and a lot of little kids appeared at the same time.  The kids started crying almost instantly, many asking for their mothers.  The Scoobs wavered for a moment, and then looked clear from their eyes, straightening.  Buffy grabbed one of Spike’s punches, grinned at him, and said, “Guess what, Spike, you couldn’t beat me as a sex slave, what are you gonna do now?”

Spike growled looking at her allies focusing on him.  He made a faint with his free fist, and kicked her against the knees.  With a yelp at the pain, Buffy let go, and Spike turned around, ran, and jumped up on a stack of wood boards.  Lexa tried to go after him, but Spike jumped again, kicking the stack over in front of Lexa, and disappeared through another exit.

“Damn it!  He got away!” Lexa cursed angrily.

“He’ll get his soon enough,” Willow said arriving with the other two.  She took in her outfit. Cordelia joined, and so did Angel, holding a slowly coming to Lotion.

“What hit me?” Lotion moaned.

“I did,” Cordelia said with a grin, but realized she much rather face Wonder Woman than Lotion so she put the smile away.  “It was really necessary, you weren’t yourself,” Cordelia explained at the glaring Lotion.

“Can you remember anything?” Angel asked them.

Willow, Lexa and Buffy looked at each other.  “Yeah, somewhat, hazily,” Lexa answered.

“Like being inside but not having control over you’re own body,” Buffy said, feeling extremely odd about the experience.

“Really weird,” Willow added.

“Like large parts of you shut down, one piece brought forth, and enhanced and changed,” Lotion added, making the other three look at her, and then look down.  “I think I speak English better now,” she added with large, blinking eyes.

“Are we going bronzing or what?” Cordelia asked annoyed.

“After we get the kids back to where they belong,” Lexa said with a grin.

*****

Giles turned around, and saw Ethan was gone.  His voice sounded before he completely left, “See you around, Ripper, you haven’t seen the last of me yet.”

“Bloody bastard,” Giles muttered.

*****

Later in the Bronze

Buffy and Willow - just back from dances with a few guys who had loved to dance with a few harem girls, and some science fiction fans with an Orion slave girl - stood at a table, and watched Xander - male once more - dance with Cordelia and Lotion at the same time.

“So, what did you think?” Willow asked curiously, finally mustering up the courage to ask.

Buffy looked at her, and from behind her cloth asked, “About what?”

“Being a slave girl of course,” Willow whispered.

Buffy sighed.  “Definitely not for me,” Buffy said, and shuddered.  “I’d like to take some action on my own, not go ‘oh, master’ every moment of the day, wanting to please him sexually all the time.  And the constant rivalry with the other women; even with you but more friendly, nah.”

“Yeah,” Willow said looking down.  “But . . . well . . .”

Buffy grinned and said, “I know, on the other side you were all ferocious and go-getting, all sexy like an Orion woman is, eh?”

Willow blushed, but that was invisible beneath the green paint, and said, “Yeah, but . . . your boyfriend - Xander perhaps - an occasional role play night?”  Buffy flushed and looked away.  Willow grinned, then rubbed one hand over her green-painted arm and looked at the smeared out paint.  “I’m just glad the skin turned back to paint,” she said.

Buffy turned back to her, and said with laughter, “Are you ever!  I still think you look like an evil smurf!”  Willow mock-glared at her friend.

~~~~16~~~~

Buffy, Willow, Lotion and Lexa stood with Buffy’s locker.  “So, you really dusted him?” Willow wondered.

Buffy nodded and said, “Yeah, I did right after he came above ground.  Didn’t let him even see me, or me him.  Didn’t want to find out how that would be.  I can’t imagine what you guys went through with Jesse.”

Both of them looked down, although Willow hadn’t really faced the vamped Jesse, Xander, or Lexa at the moment, though only more.  “Yeah,” Lexa spoke sadly, “Dusting a vamp wearing your friend’s body is tough.”

“Let’s stop the gloom,” Lotion spoke quickly.  “This is getting too depressing.”

They nodded and started walking off.  Lexa spoke up, “My class is that way, see you in the library later.”  Lexa walked off to the left, and a rather hot guy past her by in the opposite direction.  Her head turned back, angled down for a moment, and smirked, before returning straight walking on.

Buffy’s and Willow’s eyes widened in shock at that, as the guy reached them, and Lotion gave him a quick look over.  “That . . . can’t be, I s-s-saw it this time, I know it,” Buffy muttered in shock and then turned to a stunned Willow.  “Please tell me I’m going crazy.”

Willow shook her head, and muttered, “I saw it too.”

“Saw what?” Lotion wondered out loud.

“Lexa - Xander - just checked out that guy’s ass,” Buffy muttered softly, and in shock.

“That’s not possible,” Lotion answered coolly.  “You must have seen it wrong, she probably had a neck cramp.”

“She’s right, right?” Buffy asked Willow desperately.  “I mean, this is Xander.  He chases after girls, he’s got the hots for me, he was still interested in girls as Lexa, it’s still Xander right?  Lexa gay?  No guys, Xander not interested?”

Willow blinked as she took in the desperate Buffy, and she said, “So /that’s/ what I sound like when I babble.  Kinda cute.”

Buffy took a step forward and grabbed her friend by the collar, “Don’t do this to me!  Give me an answer!  It’s not possible for Lexa to be interested in guys, right?  Cause it’s still Xander, right?  Please tell me it was just a neck strain.”

“Well, that depends,” Willow said.

“Depends on what, and that is /so/ not what I want to hear,” Buffy desperately told Willow.

“On whether his body just turned into that of a girl, or . . .” Willow frowned a moment considering her words, and she said, “/he/ turned /into/ a girl, meaning his Y-chromosome turned into an X-chromosome.”

“What do you mean?” Lotion asked softly, and Buffy nodded quickly.

Willow shrugged, and said, “Well, if his Y-chromosome turned into an X-chromosome, he’s 100% girl, all the way, meaning even the wiring in her brain.  Which mean that if he was heterosexually wired as a guy, he’d be heterosexually wired as a girl.”

“But, but, can’t be, why wasn’t he checking out guys much sooner?” Buffy pouted hopefully.

Willow shrugged, and said, “Wiring isn’t all that makes a person do things, cultural pressure, peer pressure, his own sense of identity; and there’s his consciousness, the non-chemical that was probably still male; but the longer it’s routed through heterosexual girl thoughts . . . the more bisexual he’ll become no doubt.”

Lotion looked with wide open mouth, while Buffy went softly, “Ah, ah, no, that can’t . . . this just can’t . . . oh, no.”

Lotion was still looking straight ahead, when Willow asked, “What’s wrong with Xander being bisexual.”  It was obvious a ‘me’ was in there somewhere, but that was completely lost on Buffy.

The Slayer answered though, “Think about it!  Guys would be actual rivals!  It’s hell enough with three other girls, my best friend included chasing him.  What are we going to do once guys get a shot?”

Willow blinked - she hadn’t thought of that - and then she said, “Oh, no!”  Lotion then fell over unconscious.

*****

Later after school Willow, Lotion and Buffy entered the library.  Xander was already present in workout clothes, ready for a training.  Giles was obviously present in his library, and Jenny Calendar was present to teach Willow more about magic.  “Great, let’s get started right away,” Xander enthused with a grin, finishing his warmup.

“Uhm, Xan, before we do that . . .” Buffy turned her head to look at the other two girls.

“Uh, yeah,” Willow said with not much more confidence.  “We’d like to talk to you . . .”

“Tell them it’s not true, tell them it isn’t!  You just had a neck cramp, right!?” Lotion burst out with desperation, charging forward and clinging to a chair for support.

The Librarian, his girlfriend, and Xander looked at the Amazon with wide confused eyes. “What’s she talking about?” Xander asked pointing his thumb at the crazy woman.

“Maybe you should sit down, Xander,” Willow said, and Xander looked suspiciously at her. “Please, for our sake at least?”  Xander shrugged and sat down, while Lotion finally let go of the chair and started pacing the library.

Buffy and Willow sat down themselves, and Willow asked, “Do you remember this afternoon as Lexa?”

“What about it?” Xander asked getting a little testy.

“You kinda checked out a guy’s ass, we think,” Willow said.

“WHAT!?” Xander exclaimed in shock.

Buffy babbled out, “Please, Xander, tell us you had just neck cramp, right?  You just turned your head to get a kink out of your neck.  That’s right, it has to be, it can’t be anything else. Right, Xander?  Please tell us that.”

Everyone looked at her, and then Willow smiled saying, “That really is so cute.  Am I that cute when /I/ babble?”

“Cuter,” Xander answered with a smirk.

Willow turned back to Buffy, and told her, “You are /so/ cute.”  Buffy glared at Willow and let out an involuntary growl.  Willow blanched, tried to move a bit further away from the angry super powered girl, but since she was sitting on a chair, she succeeded in tipping it over. With a yelp Willow and the chair went down, only to be caught by Xander just in time - one had at Willow, one had at the chair.  He then put her back straight.  Willow swallowed heavily, glad the frightening moment was over, only not quite: Buffy was still glaring.  “Sorry, Buffy, you’re not cute at all, nope, not- . . .”

“GET ON WITH IT!!” Buffy yelled bordering on hysterics, making Willow turn back to Xander in an instant.

“Okay, okay, right, where was I, ah, yes, checking out a guy’s ass,” Willow said as Giles and Miss Calendar joined to the two girls, and Lotion stepped around the table, stopping her pacing to take in Xander’s answer.

“And I repeat: what!?  And what makes you think that anyway?” Xander said in annoyance now.

“Uh . . . close your eyes,” Willow requested, and after a moment of looking strangely at her, and she looking back - it seemed entire volumes were spoken in those brief moments - Xander complied.  “All right, remember back this afternoon, after lunch, we’re together and you’re about to live, bring it back, imagine being back then there, got it?”

“Yep.”

Willow continued, “Okay, so you walk off into the corridor after saying goodbye to us.” Xander nodded.  “Now a guy comes at you, you notice him just a bit, and he passes you.  Then you . . .”

Xander’s eyes snapped open, and then he turned white.  “Oh, no, nononononono,” Xander said in shock.  “This can’t be, no way, I- . . . AAAAAAHHHH!!!!”  Xander jumped up, dumping the chair back, and it clanged to the floor.  “Oh, my god, oh godohgodohgodohgod!”

“You had a neck cramp and it hurt?” Lotion asked hopefully.  “And now really, really badly?”  Everyone looked at her as if she were stupid.  “What?” she whimpered.

“No,” Xander said and slowly trudged back to the table, absentmindedly picking up the stair.  Wide-eyes and jaw dropped he leaned on the table, and muttered.  “I can’t believe this . . . I really . . . no way . . . how can this be?  I really . . . I really . . .”

“Checked out a guy’s ass?” Jenny provided with an amused smirk, while Giles was heavily cleaning his glasses.

Xander nodded and let himself defeated fall into his chair.  The girls all looked somber, just as defeated, except for Willow, who albeit would have preferred Xander just being into girls wasn’t feeling as bad as the other two.  “How can this be?  I’m a straight guy!” Xander called out loud, feeling horrible, remembering the thoughts that had gone through his female self.

“Actually, you were a girl when you did that,” Willow told him.

“But, but, but I’m a guy.  A straight guy!  Won’t change with body, I still liked girls even when a girl, how!?” Xander called out hysterically, hands in the air.

Buffy repeated Willow’s explanation with a defeated pout, “If turning into a girl means your Y-chromosome turns into an X-chromosome, which it seems it does, then if you’re wired straight as a guy, you’re wired straight as a girl.”

“And you might always have been bisexual, you just didn’t know it,” Willow added, and everyone looked at her, some with glares.  “Yeah, well, you see, it seems that everyone is bisexual to an extent, even straight people - if you can’t understand at all what is sexy in your own gender, you can’t make yourself attractive to the opposite one, you know?  And, and . . . well, peer and culture expectations would simply make you focus on your heterosexuality, never really exploring your other side; but now that you’re a girl, wired like you more straight than bi . . .”

“How do you know that?” Jenny asked the redhead.

Willow shrugged self-consciously, “I researched it after my bisexual awakening.”

Xander looked at her with an open mouth, and then let his head fall onto the table.  He lifted it up, and dropped it back down, over and over, saying one word with every slight bang, “I. Can.  Not.  Believe.  This.”  Xander sat up straight, and yelled, “AAAARGGGHH!!!!”

“What’s so bad about it?” Willow wondered self-consciously, while Buffy and Lotion just looked forward.  Giles turned away, having had enough shocks for a day, while Jenny followed the proceedings amused.  “I’m not bad?” Willow added with a pout.

“No, no, but look at me,” Xander said indicating Willow, Buffy and Lotion.  “And Cordy isn’t even here.  It’s bad enough with me interesting in just girls, what’s going to happen if I start showing interest in . . . in . . . I can’t say it.”  Xander then let his head fall to the table, and defeated he muttered, “I’ll be dead before I hit eighteen; interested in four girls fighting over me and add guys to it . . . I’ll be lucky if I reach the end of the school year.”

“Now exaggerating,” Lotion called out in concern, worked up enough to fall back to her speech patterns before her Wonder Woman possession.  Xander looked up with an adorable sad pout that send the girls’ heart rates and mothering instinct soaring through the roof.  “We your friends first, we protect, right?”  Buffy and Willow nodded with determination.

Xander sighed, and said, “I can’t deal with this right now.  Crank up the music so hard we can’t hear ourselves think, okay?  Then we train, and I’ll take things one day at a fucking time. Pardon my French.”

*****

Outside a man with a goatee, wearing a suit, and holding a silver suitcase.  He looked left and right as if expecting someone to jump at him from the bushes at any moment now.  He came across a janitor, and he asked with a British accent, “Sir, if I may have a moment, I’m looking for Rupert Giles.”

“He’s our librarian.  In the back, first building on the left,” the janitor answered calmly.  The man hurried along.  “You’re welcome,” the janitor bit sarcastically.

The Brit walked onward fast, nervously continuing to look around.  He recognized ‘library’ on a sign next to a door when he was about fifteen meters away from it, at which time he also heard a sound.  He stopped, and looked around.  Finally having turned around fully he could make out a silhouette.  “Who are you?” he asked backing up fearfully.  The figure let out a grumble, and for a moment its face came into the light, revealing a deformed half decayed female face.  “Deirdre?” he asked shocked.  The woman laughed and managed to growl at the same time; a heavy unnatural sound.  “Oh, my god,” the man said, turned around and ran.  He reached the library door and jiggled the handle, but it was looked.  He looked behind him at the advancing demonic figure, and slammed against the door.  Then he pounded on it with his hands, yelling, “HELP!  OPEN THE DOOR!  SOMEBODY IN THERE!  HELP ME!”

“Phillip,” the heavy voice of the monster said, and he fearfully turned around.  A clawed hand grasped him by the neck, and while pulling him off the floor squeezed.

*****

Inside a very loud techno beat sounded; much too loud to let the man’s scream be heard. Xander, Buffy and Lotion were trading blows, while Willow and Jenny sat on the library’s counter in a lotus position, deeply focusing on the pen lying in between them.

Giles sat at a table - the stereo producing the music on it - and he was rubbing his head in horror and annoyance.  “/MUST/ YOU HAVE THIS NOISE ON!” he yelled, trying to come out over the music.

“IT’S NOT NOISE!  IT’S MUSIC!” Buffy called out, narrowly avoiding a right cross from Xander.

“I KNOW MUSIC - IT’S GOT NOTES; /THIS/ IS NOISE!” Giles called out once more.

“YOU HEARD ME GILES, I DON’T WANT TO BE ABLE TO THINK!!” Xander called back - the answer cost him, since a double coordinated attack from Buffy and Lotion could breach his defenses.  He staggered back under the effective assault.

“Wonderful,” Giles told himself.  “You stay in denial while my brain dribbles out of my ears.”

“AND IT’S REALLY GOOD MAGIC TRAINING TOO!” Jenny called out from her position on the counter.  “IF WILLOW CAN CONSISTENTLY LIFT THE PEN WITH THIS NOISE: ADRENALINE AND FEAR DURING A BATTLE SHOULDN’T KEEP HER FROM UTILIZING HER MAGIC!”

“WHAT!?” Giles yelled out barely having made out a tiny bit.

“I SAID- LOOK!” Jenny said with pride in her student.  Willow too looked with wide proud eyes at her accomplishment: the pen was floating.  “YOU REALLY NEED TO- . . .”

Xander turned off the radio and suddenly everything was quiet.

*****

Outside Phillip made a final choke sound as he died.  The demon let him drop silently to the ground.  The demon than choked and gurgled herself, and dropped right along the Brit.  Out of nowhere the demon started dissolving: disintegrating bit by bit into a green-blue see-through goo.  The goo then slid over to the dead Phillip and disappeared into the corpse.

*****

“Ah!” Giles sighed out with relief.  “And all was silence.”

“Yep, training about finished, just a cool down now,” Xander said with a smile.

Jenny restarted her cut short sentence, “You still need to be able to do it faster during such hectic times, Willow, and make it consistent, but you’re on the right track.”

Willow smiled and practically bounced around enthusiastically - making the pen drop back down.  Willow payed it no mind, looking back and saying, “Xander, Buffy, you hear that? I’m on the right track.”

“We heard will,” Buffy answered with a smile.

*****

The next morning

“I’m at the beach, and not an American beach, but those postcard ones where the water is too blue,” Buffy said, sitting on a stone bench of Sunnydale High, wearing a skirt and a shirt that was tied around her neck.  Her hair was done up in a loose bun, and two strands of hair hung down around her face.  The finishing touch was “I’m lying on my back, and then a guy steps in my sun and asks me if I could lotion up his back with sunburn oil.  I say okay and then realized it’s . . . Brad Pitt.”

“Oh, very good, now me,” Willow answered with a bright face as she sat across from Buffy. She too was wearing a skirt.  It was a loose one, reaching halfway her knees, and her hair was hanging loose and wavy around her face.  One strand hung over the right side of her face; not really obscuring her beautiful face, but giving it an extra layer of allure.  A dark red wraparound clinging to her body finished her outfit.  “I’m sitting in a restaurant, all alone, at a table for two, eating ziti.  Then a waiter comes and asks if it’s okay to sit two people with me; since one table was double reserved and all the other tables are completely full.  I think for a moment and say okay.  It turns out to be John Cusack and Catherine Zeta-Jones on a break from filming a new movie!”

“You really have an eye for detail,” Buffy said with a smile.

“Yeah, ‘cozz, with the ziti,” Willow said with wide eyes.

Lexa in tight jeans and tight, low closed blouse, and black sunglasses arrived.  As she lowered her sunglasses with a single finger, looking over them, she asked with a smile, “Hey, guys, what’ya doing?  And, whoa . . . Will, you look . . .”

Willow blushed just a bit, smiling, and Buffy said, “I told you it was a good hair cut, and wipe away the drool.”

Willow blushed bright red and composed herself.  “You did,” she answered then with a quick grin.  After that she answered Xander’s first question, “We’re playing ‘anywhere but here’.”

“Oh, cool, let’s see,” Lexa said thinking for just a moment, and then answered, “Right.  In a sauna with Tom Cruise . . . and ew, I can’t believe I tried to imagine that?  Why did I come up with him!?  Tom Cruise is too much a pretty boy.”

“Hey, I like Tom Cruise, he’s pretty, uh . . .” Buffy shut up realizing Lexa, aka Xander, had mentioned the whole thing.

“Yeah, what happened to your usual,” Willow asked Lexa with a smile.

“Ah, well, no matter how much I hate this new bisexual nature of mine; I figured I just had to accept it, and try to give it a fair chance, an- . . .”

“YES!!” someone yelled out triumphantly, freezing Lexa in place.  “I knew it!” the voice said, and Deke Fisher - yes, him, Sunnydale High’s Red Streak Quarter Back - came out from behind a tree behind Lexa.  “I knew it!” he yelled more as he came over behind Lexa.  “It was only a matter of time before my good looks would sway you, my beautiful Lexa.  Deke Fisher, Sunnydale High’s Red Streak Quarter Back strikes a- . . .”

That’s as far as he came, as Lexa twisted around, and landed a solid punch on the guy’s jaw. He instantly shot up, and wobbled already unconscious around.  With a blow of air from her mouth, Lexa sent him toppling over backward and then he crumbled to the ground.  Lexa then grinned, and turned around looking at her shocked friends.  “Perhaps this bi thing ain’t so bad after all,” she said with a grin.

Buffy and Willow looked up, and the first asked, “Why?”

“Well, this just proves I may have gained a taste for guys, but I haven’t lost my good taste,” Lexa nodded with satisfaction.  “I was afraid I was going to turn into some ditz going all bubbly and large eyed at every popular guy around like most girls.”

“We’re not,” Willow protested feebly.

“You’re right, I should never have though that, but . . . eh, nightmares; actually that brings me back to the old trusty: Amy Yipp at the water slide park,” Lexa said with a wide grin.

Willow noticed Giles off to the side, and wondered, “Do you think Giles ever played ‘anywhere but here’ in school?”

“Giles?” Lexa asked in disbelief.  “Nah, Giles lived for school.  The guy’s still bitter there are only twelve grades.”

“Yeah,” Buffy added with a smiled.  She looked up at Lexa, squinting at the sun even with her sunglasses, and then looking from one friend to another she said, “when Giles was sitting in math class, he probably thought, *There could be more math, this could be mathier.*”

“But, don’t you guys think he might have gotten restless sometimes?” Willow wondered out loud.

“Are you kidding, his diapers were tweed,” Buffy said with a grin, and just then Giles arrived, looking with some concern at the still unconscious quarterback.  “Say, is that tweed?”

“Huh?” Giles said looking down at his jacked, and then said, “Ah, yes, it is.  How did he go unconscious?”

“He slipped on a banana peel, and landed on his chin,” Lexa spoke sweetly, smiling at Giles. “Don’t worry, I already picked it up and tossed it in the waist bin before someone else tripped over it.”

“Ah, good, well done, now come along we have something to discuss,” Giles said, and Lexa smiled at Buffy and Willow both of whom grinned back.

Once walking behind Giles ready to enter the school, Lexa took a slower step, pulled Buffy and Willow on either side of her closer together, bent forward a bit, and whispered near their ears, “If I had been a guy, he wouldn’t even have believed me, let alone complimented me, and they say this is a man’s world.”  Buffy and Willow gave her a grin, before focusing back on Giles.

“Tonight is an important night,” Giles said as they entered the school.  They turned left towards the Scoobies’ lockers.

“What is it this time, Giles?  Apocalypse?  Vampire holy day?  Preordained death?” Buffy asked, half-joking, half-serious.

“Ah, the old standards,” Lexa commented, and Buffy and Willow gave him a smile.

“No, blood delivery at the hospital,” Giles answered calmly as they reached the lockers.

“A free all you can eat for vampires,” Buffy rephrased with a small scowl.

Giles turned around looking at the Scoobs, and replied, “I hope not.  Be there at eight thirty, I’ll bring the weapons, don’t be late.”

“When have I ever disappointed you?” Buffy asked sweetly.

Giles angled his head to look intently at Buffy over his glasses, and told her, “Do you want me to answer that?  Or should I just glare?”  Buffy straightened her back a bit.

“Want some backup, Buff?” Lexa asked coolly.

“It shouldn’t be necessary,” Giles answered for her.  “No hordes of vampires come to it, or people would have goten suspicious a long time ago.”

“I can handle a couple, Xa- Lexa, don’t worry, training has been good,” Buffy told her friend with a grin.  The on and off again girl nodded with satisfaction.

“G’Morning, England,” Jenny Calendar greeted friendly as she arrived from behind Giles.

“Ah, Jenny,” Giles returned suddenly more nervous.

Willow leaned over to Buffy and Giles and said lowly, “Feel the passion.”

“Willow?” Jenny asked forcefully.

Willow lightly banged her fist on her present chest, faked coughing - badly - and said, “Coughing, not speaking.”

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Jenny asked Willow.

“What’s tomorrow?” Lexa asked, as Buffy was busy with her bag and locker.

“I’m reviewing some computer basic to a couple of students who have fallen behind,” Jenny explained.  “Willow is helping out for extra credit.”

Willow smiled back and up and Lexa, who answered with a laugh, “Those pore slobs, school on Saturday.”

“How is nine AM for you, Lexa?” Jenny asked with a smug look.  Lexa choked on the juice she was sucking through a straw from a small carton.

“Hey, Lexa, I see some slob on your shoe there,” Buffy commented with a teasing grin. Lexa gave her a dark look and a so-not-funny sound.

“Cordelia is going to meet us there,” Jenny told him.

“Ooh, here that, extra school plus Cordelia - mix in some rectal surgery and it’s my best day /ever/,” Lexa remarked sarcastically.

Jenny smiled and then turned her head to Giles.  “Walk me to class?”

“Pleasure,” Giles said and they walked off.

“Look at them,” Buffy said with a smile at the retreating backs of Jenny and Giles.

“A twosome of cuteness,” Lexa commented with a romantic smile.

Willow smiled too, and commented, “Could you just imagine if they got together?”

The three smiled nodding, then suddenly their faces went sour and quickly walked away, as Lexa said, “Ugh, I’d rather imagine the sauna and Tom Cruise again.  One good luck though, Lotion won’t be there tomorrow, that would be the death of me - all those- . . .”

“Nihau!”

To Be Continued . . . in part 2

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