MEDICAL OPINION
by JTBWhen the doctors were asked to contribute
to help fund a new hospital wing,
the allergists voted to scratch it
until they could test everything.
Psychiatrists claimed it was madness,
dermatologists thought it was rash,
ophthalmologists called it short-sighted,
psychologists labeled it trash.
Radiologists saw right through it,
neurologists said, “What a nerve!”
pathologists: “That’s a dead issue
we would really not want to preserve.”
Proctologists chose not to back it,
pointing out it would lead to arrears;
internists: “A hard pill to swallow,
asking us to become financiers.”
Urologists’ view: “Won’t hold water;”
cardiologists lacked heart to say no,
audiologists, deaf to the notion,
pediatricians knew it would grow.
Orthopedists had bones to pick with it,
a joint feeling the project would fail;
podiatrists footsied around it,
orthodontists opposed tooth and nail.
But what finally sadly decided
the fate of this grandiose dream
was the moment of truth when the surgeons
washed their hands of the whole rotten scheme.
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