If you think watching the evening news is depressing, watch commercials for medications. I have learned about a score of different maladies that I never knew existed until the law was passed allowing these advertisements. For instance, you might be suffering from some obscure disease that causes your fingers to curl backwards. Well, taking medication X will fix that, but there are side effects. By taking medication X, you might suffer with spontaneous pregnancy, for instance. Or you might find yourself consumed with the desire to run onto the freeway during rush hour. If you think that is bad, read on. You might find yourself with the worst case of runs you ever had, and your spouse is still at HEB buying all the toilet paper in the store, because you ran out. Other side effects include hair growing out of your eyeballs, your ears drooping to your knees, or one butt cheek swelling to twice the size of the other. After hearing all the side effects of a medication, I often think I would rather suffer with the malady than take any medication for it.
There is a Presidential campaign in progress. I need to be reminded of that sometimes, because I have absolutely no interest in either candidate. Neither one inspires me to run out and update my voter registration. About the only reaction you will see out of me is a deep, lengthy yawn. There hasn’t been a president in my lifetime that didn’t have a skeleton in the closet. Now Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry has one, too, and he isn’t even elected...yet. He apparently protested the Vietnam war back in the sixties. He stated, in not so many words, he changed his ways. Okay. I understand. I used to be a serial killer in the sixties, but I realized there were too many people and I couldn’t kill them all, so I decided to change my ways, too. I see President Bush as a man who eats meat and potatoes, but made a few bad decisions, like deceiving a lot of folks. I find it hard to trust him, now. I see John Kerry as a man who eats quiche and a nerd with pocket protector. I would find it hard to charge into battle screaming at the top of my voice while Kerry hands his Secret Service Agents daisies and peace symbols.. Don’t ask me who I am voting for this year. It’s a secret ballot, you know. Besides, Alfred E. Neuman isn’t on the ballot. If he was, he’d have My vote.
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Do we REALLY have to pay income taxes? Hmmm...
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