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Sermon for Atwater United Methodist Church June 9, 2024
By Lay Speaker Jo Gamm Witt
Being graduation season, I recently posted about what would 60-year-old me say to 18-year-old me. And that would be to have a plan for your life—and—the flexibility to pivot when that plan changes. You see, reflecting back on my life now, I realize that the vast majority of my life I have been very short-sighted, not really having any long-term focus or goals, but more so taking life as it comes. In some ways that’s not all bad, but in other ways I now see it’s important to have direction in your life.
Recently I was visiting with my sister about her feelings about her youngest now turning 18 and having just graduated from high school. I told her what I learned from my own daughters is that becoming an adult is a process, not a point in time—it is a journey. I told her the 20s represent a time of transition to adulthood where a lot of mistakes are made along the way. Faith is like that too—developing an enduring faith is a gradual process, a journey, with lots of ups and downs along the way.
I recall one of the scariest times in my life being at the age of 18 when my parents had dropped me off at my dorm room in college and they left. I had always felt close to my family and extended family and grew up on a farm in a small community where everyone knew everyone. Now I was in an environment where I knew no one and being shy, I didn’t have very good social skills. But gradually I became acquainted with others in my dorm and those I had classes with.
During that time in my life, the Lord was also connecting me with positive influences. In the town where I attended college lived my great aunt and uncle whom I didn’t know before attending college there. My Mom had spoken with them before I went to college, and my aunt would call me every Saturday to offer to take me to church on Sunday and to have lunch with them in their home after. So the majority of my Sundays were spent with them. They were such wonderful people, so full of love and kindness, and incredibly close to the Lord. The pastor of the Methodist church I attended with them radiated the Spirit, and through her, I came to grow in my faith and understanding.
Midway through my freshman year, a gal visited me at my dorm room and invited me to attend Wesley House, a campus ministry of the Methodist church that in that town was also supported by the Presbyterian and Episcopalian churches. And so I visited there and kept coming back because I was warmly welcomed and because the campus minister genuinely cared about the students. I made the best friends of my life at Wesley House, people I am still friends with today. I also became involved with their traveling music group called Koinonia Corp, and we would travel to area churches and to our home churches to lead worship services with praise songs and skits, spending the night sleeping in sleeping bags in churches or homes if the distance was too far. We became a very close knit group.
Through my parents’ faith and the positive influence of pastors of the church I grew up in, through my great aunt and uncle’s influence and the Methodist church I attended with them, and through those I connected with at Wesley House, I had a firm foundation.
But even though I had “good” influences in my life, I also had my not-so-good friends. With my not-so-good friends, I would go out drinking or attending fraternity parties. I grew up in a non-drinking family and didn’t drink or party in high school, but now I wanted to fit in and I guess to experiment. And yet I think my foundation I had had earlier in life often tugged at my soul that things I was doing were wrong. Proverbs 22:6 tells us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (RSV). I believe when a child has been taught Christianity and has had strong Christian influences, that it creates a foundation that even if they stray away from, that they will typically return to.
It’s easy to trust God when life is going well and when prayers are being readily answered. It’s much more difficult through challenging times in life. Yet, 1 Peter 1:7 tells us:
“These trials are only to test your faith, to see whether or not it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests gold and purifies it—and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold; so if your faith remains strong after being tried in the test tube of fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day of his return.” (TLB)
I’d say one of my greatest challenges in my young adulthood occurred my junior year in college. I went to college to study to be a nurse in a Bachelor of Nursing program. Our junior year we began doing clinicals in the two hospitals in that town. My first rotation was in Pediatrics. I believe there were many factors that played into my coming to feel overwhelmed. I had not worked much with children and didn’t know how to handle how uncooperative children can be, especially when they’re sick. I had to be at the hospital by 6:30 in the mornings, when I’m not an early morning person. I also had two classes to juggle in addition to spending multiple hours doing hospital clinicals. I was tired, stressed out, and overwhelmed. And my grades suffered. I had previously done very well academically and had begun college on an academic scholarship. I was incredibly disappointed in my grades and felt like a failure and didn’t want to disappoint my parents either. With the strong Christian foundation I had, you would think I would have leaned on God during that time. But I didn’t. It finally reached a point where I wanted to end my life. You see, young people with their limited experience with life, often are short-sighted, failing to embrace the fruit of the Spirit: Hope. And it is Hope that sustains us through difficult times, the belief that with time, life will get better. One evening I sat at the table with a bottle of aspirin and a bottle of wine, which I had planned to fully consume the two together to end my life. –But I paused.— I paused, and the thought occurred to me, “If I can find just one reason not to do it, then I won’t.” And then I thought about my younger sister. I felt like she had always looked up to me. And I thought what kind of example would this set for her if I killed myself? —And so I didn’t.— But then I thought if I’m going to go on with life, I have to make changes. So I met with my academic advisor and told her I was quitting the nursing program. She tried to talk through options with me. We did agree for me to drop one of the support classes I was taking, but she persuaded me to finish another clinical and then to make the decision after that clinical. The second clinical was in Obstetrics and that clinical went much smoother, but I still made the decision to leave nursing.
After quitting nursing, I was left with no sense of direction. I was left with the question, “Where do I go from here with my life?” I had already finished two and a half years of college and was concerned about the additional time and expense of changing to a different major at this point. I had been doing office work while attending college, so ultimately I decided to complete my general education requirements and a secretarial certificate and then to decide later what to do with my life.
In April 1985 when I was nearing the completion of the certificate, I began praying fervently for God to provide me with a job, as I didn’t want to return home to live with my parents. Within a couple of weeks I received a call from the head of a department at the university offering me a full-time temporary office position they would have for the summer. I was amazed to be offered a job I had not known was open and had not applied for, and I praised God for answered prayers. I later learned a friend of mine who had worked in her office had told her she should hire me. When that position was nearing an end, that department head connected me with the head of a different department at the university who had an opening, and I was offered that position, and again I praised God for answered prayers.
Throughout life there will be ups and downs, faith-building opportunities, as we come to lean on and trust God more through them.
Three years later when I married, I moved to Kansas City where my husband had employment. For six months I fervently looked for and applied for jobs, but had no offers. I kept praying for God to provide employment, but was becoming depressed as time went on without any job offers, as we greatly financially struggled. Ultimately I was hired by a college to do office work and was promoted six months later to work directly under the vice president of the college.
—Life was seemingly going well. — But over time the job became quite stressful. My boss was failing at his job and would blame me to his boss for things he hadn’t done. I started having severe stomach issues and was often in urgent care. One day my doctor sat down in front of me, his hands on my shoulders, and looked me straight in the eyes and said, “It’s time to quit your job.” Again I was left at a crossroads in my life. I needed to decide whether to do what was best for my health and to quit my job, to try to find different employment, and risking unemployment, potentially putting us in a financial mess, because by then we had two car payments to make. I prayed fervently for God’s direction and leading. I applied for several jobs, and was offered in a short time work with a temp agency working for an order fulfillment company. Interestingly the name of the company was Valentine. I decided to take it, as a short-term fix till I could find something else. The job was a very boring one, but the people were interesting to visit with. There were several of us with a wide range of ages and backgrounds. Two months later I was offered a position working for a university in a much lower stress office position. God had provided.
Soon after that I became pregnant. It’s interesting how we have our “plan” about how our deliveries will go, which rarely go as planned. While five days overdue, my water broke in the middle of the night and was contaminated. After 18 hours of non-productive labor, the baby was distressed with a weakened heartbeat. We were in danger of losing her, and so she was delivered by emergency c-section. Our daughter had developed infection from the contaminated fluid, and my spinal cord was nicked while doing the epidural, resulting in a continuous worst headache of my life for two days before they did a patch. I recall feeling upset with God. I had prayed for all to go well, and now was scared as to whether my baby was going to be okay. After 12 days in the hospital, she finally got to come home. And thank God, she was okay.
Within six months my husband decided he wanted to change careers to do retail management. After six months of training, we could be relocated. I felt a great deal of insecurity and prayed fervently during that time for us at least not to be relocated out of Missouri. I had lived in Missouri my entire life and couldn’t image living elsewhere. Soon before our daughter’s first birthday in June the following year, we got word that we would be relocated to Duluth, Minnesota. I recall feeling very angry with God. How could he answer my prayer so differently than how I had prayed?
In July 1993 we made the move. I recall the first evening staying in a hotel while awaiting our belongings to be delivered by the moving company, seeing sea gulls for the first time. And I was fascinated by Lake Superior. It was the first time I had not been able to see the end to a body of water. Living in Duluth felt like an adventure. And I found the Minnesota accents fascinating as well.
Two months after the move, I was offered a position working for the University of Minnesota-Duluth doing office work in the Graduate School of Toxicology. Despite God answering my prayer differently than how I had prayed, overall it was a positive experience—other than the mosquitos. LOTS of mosquitos. And the snow—more snow and colder temps than I’d ever experienced before in my life. And missing family. We went six months without seeing our families prior to flying home for Christmas that year, when previously we’d visit our families every other month.
Life is filled with ups and downs.
Only eight months after relocating to Duluth, in February 1994, my husband was informed that his job was being cut because the company was having financial difficulties and he was the last manager hired. Our lives were again put into a tailspin, and I prayed a lot about the situation. When we told my parents the news, my Dad contacted the manager of their local Orscheln store who was aware of a manager trainee opening in their Mexico, Missouri store. My husband made contact and was offered the job. We packed up all our belongings and made the 14-hour drive to relocate back to Missouri. Six months later we were relocated to Perry, Iowa, where we bought our first house in the area and lived for two and a half years, adding another daughter along the way, this time by planned c-section and no complications.
Then in fall of 1996 Orscheln’s management wanted to relocate us to Willmar, Minnesota. We visited Willmar, but weren’t impressed with the area and turned down the opportunity. But then they sweetened the pot and said if he took the Willmar manager opening, that over time they’d make him regional manager over their four stores here in Minnesota. So then we accepted the offer. But by then we had a home to sell. My husband came to Willmar and lived out of hotels while I stayed behind with our daughters to try to sell our home. Many prayers said during that time about trying to get the Iowa house sold while trying to line up a home in the Willmar area. Two and a half months later our home in Iowa still had not sold. It was easy to feel discouraged during that time. But I kept praying. Then a realtor in Willmar told my husband the owners of a home in Kandiyohi had already moved to Arizona and would be willing to rent their house to us on an “intent to buy” contingency agreement. So, we decided to do that. And yet there was still the issue of how to make the house payment for the Iowa home while also paying rent for the home in Kandiyohi. It was a very stressful time with many prayers said. Two weeks after the girls and I moved to the Kandiyohi home, our house in Iowa finally sold. Praise God!
And then another challenge. About a month after we had closed on buying the home in Kandiyohi, my husband was informed that Orscheln had sold all of their Minnesota stores to Runnings. We were given an option of staying with Orscheln and relocating again right away or for him to transfer employment to Runnings. Much ponderings and prayers about the situation. The last thing we wanted to do was to relocate again, and so he became employed with Runnings, and we chose to stay here.
After our being relocated back to Minnesota, I recalled back to childhood having an ashtray I used to play with that was the shape of Minnesota and colorfully painted with towns and relevant sights in Minnesota. I don’t know where the ashtray had come from, but likely from my Dad’s sister, who was an antique dealer and would buy boxes of things at auctions that contained things she knew were valuable, while often giving away to us the things she didn’t want from the boxes. Regardless, the next time I visited my parents, I found the ashtray and brought it back to my home to hang on my wall to remind me that I’m where I’m supposed to be. I think that ashtray serves as a sign that even though I have been very short-sighted as to the direction of my life, that God has always had a plan.
Along our life’s journeys, people come and go. My life was put in another tailspin with much stress, depression, and anger with my divorce in 2004. Even when we do have a plan for our lives, sometimes that plan will change.
The one stable throughout my life has been God being along with me throughout my journey, even during times when I felt like he failed me.
Psalm 46:1 tells us “God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble,” (TLB) yet, do we always think to lean on him?
There have been times along my journey when I have felt angry with God, and that’s okay. I heard a pastor once say that we might as well be honest with God when we’re angry with him, because he knows anyway. God has a plan for our lives, but we don’t always understand the plan or we feel angry when things turn out differently than how we planned.
I heard a priest years ago say that we should not pray for tough times not to come, because they will; rather, we should pray for God to help us through the tough times. We need to be prepared for times when tragedy strikes by putting on the armor of God, as Paul mentions in Ephesians 6:14-18, especially studying the bible—not just reading it, but studying it—praying often and seeking God’s truth and his will in the way we live our lives.
Faith is a growing process, a journey, as 1 Corinthians 4:11 says, “When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I became a man my thoughts grew far beyond those of my childhood, and now I have put away the childish things.” (TLB) Paul admonishes us to grow in our faith and understanding, in Hebrews 5:13b saying, “You are like babies who can drink only milk, not old enough for solid food. And when a person is still living on milk it shows he isn’t very far along in the Christian life, and doesn’t know much about the difference between right and wrong. He is still a baby Christian!’ (TLB) James 1:2-4 tells us to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (NIV) We mature and grow in our faith as we go through periods of testing and trials in our lives and come to learn to lean on and trust God to be there with us through whatever we experience in life.
Along my faith journey over the years, I have learned to pray more and worry less.
May we grow to have a mature faith that resounds with Paul, that “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.” – 2 Corinthians 4:8-9.
Faith is a journey. Faith that hasn’t been tested isn’t true faith. After the time of testing, will our faith come out of the fire polished and refined, a stronger faith? May we be more mindful of leaning on God through our tough times in life, a tested help through times of trouble, with a trusting, mature faith, even when God’s answers we don’t understand. God has a plan, even when we don’t. God is with us. He loves us. And he cares.
Thanks be to God. Amen.
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