HOW TO DEAL WITH DENSE GUYS
The How To Guide
by Anne Hammel
You've just met this really awesome guy who is funny, smart and extremely nice to you. Infact, he's single. You want that to change and you want to be his girl. Quite a simple romance.
It just so happens that the school dance is coming up. He doesn't have a date and you don't have a date either. What a perfect match! The only problem is that this wonderful guy just doesn't get any not so subtle hints that you drop.
First, you must remember that it isn't really his fault. All guys are dense. It's just that he is REALLY dense. Here are some tips to give really obvious hints either subtle or not.
Subtle Hints
1. "So... are you planning on going to the dance?"
2. "Do you like going to dances with people?"
3. "I think it's fun to have a date."
4. "You should go to the dance with somebody."
5. "I want to go the dance with somebody."
note: don't expect these to work
Not So Subtle Hints
1. "I only want to go to the dance if I can go with someone."
2. "If you don't have a date... maybe we should go together."
3. "Do you want to hang out at the dance?"
4."I REALLY want to go to the dance with someone."
5."Hey! You don't have a date... and I don't have a date."
note: hope that these will work
Straight Forward Hints
1. "Will you go to the dance with me?"
2. "I don't wanna go if you don't go."
3. "Will you save me a dance?"
4. "I'd like to go to the dance with you."
5. "We should dance together."
note: REALLY hope these will work
Last Resort Hints
1. "Pick me up at my house for the dance at 7:00."
2. "Go to the dance with me or die."
3. "I'll be looking for you at the dance."
4. "I'M SO EXCITED THAT WE'RE GOING TOGETHER!!"
5. "I like PINK flowers... so don't get me yellow."
note: if these don't work... just forget about it.
You really should hope that you don't have to go to the Last Resort Hints... but... sometimes- they just don't get it. If they don't, go with another guy. Just imagine when you want him to propose to you.
Here is an example conversation that might happen if you do end up going to the Last Resort Hints list.
You: So when are you going to pick me up?
Mr. Dense: Um... what?
You: For the dance!
Mr. Dense: I never...
You: *fake lip tremble* but...
Mr. Dense: ...
You: I WAS SO EXCITED!! *fake tears*
Mr. Dense: Ah! Don't cry!!
You: I told all...*sob*... of my friends... and family!
Mr. Dense: ...
You: I even... picked out a blue... dress for your favorite color!
Mr. Dense: Eh....
You: *more fake tears* And I wanted... to go so... bad!
Mr. Dense: Umm... I...
You: I EVEN MAKE YOU COOKIES!!
Mr. Dense: *starts crying*
You: Yay! Pick me up 7:00, okay? *skips off singing*
If you really have to resort to that, I suggest that you do. Of course, I will feel extreme pity for you. In all cases, bad or good, you should always hold some boundaries and pride. Don't do the crying act unless you have to and don't get too emotional on him. If he never gets it, just forget about it and go hang out with your friends. You don't need that kind of guy.
And of course, he may not be that dense. He may infact understand and consider every single hint you drop, even the most subtle ones. If your lucky. You need to remember that he may not feel the same way about you as you do about him and if he doesn't do anything about your hints, then he may very well not wish to go with you. In that case, don't go too far out with the hints so that you can save your friendship.
