Here I stand alone
With this weight upon my heart
Mana sat in the darkened hallway of his apartment with tears pouring over his cheeks, creating streaks in his makeup. ‘What went wrong?’ He asked himself desperately. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed.
And it will not go away
In my head I keep on looking back
The moment Gackt had announced that he was leaving Malice Mizer, Mana’s whole world fell apart. He didn’t cry, he didn’t ask “Why?”, he didn’t even react. It felt as though the floor had vanished underneath him. Gackt was leaving him, that was all that mattered.
Right back to the start
Wondering what it was that made you change
Mana wrapped his arms around himself, trembling, as he remembered his and Gackt’s last night together...
Well I tried
But I had to draw the line
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind
//The moonlight shone softly through the window onto a ethereal beauty sitting on the bed. He smiled, gently brushing the silky brown hair off of his lovers forehead, sighing as the figure leaned into his touch.
“Gackt.” Mana whispered quietly as he traced the prominent checks of his lover’s face with pale, slender fingers. “My prince...”//
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
“Gackt...” Mana whispered the same way he had that night. “Why did you leave me?”
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
//Mana gazed at Gackt in the darkness, the pale moonlight making the pretty guitarist seem more fragile and delicate than he actually was.
“I didn’t think that I would ever love anybody.” Mana spoke to the sleeping man. “I thought I would always be alone. Always lonely.”
“...Mana...” Gackt murmured in his sleep cuddling up to his lover.//
Many roads to take
Some to joy
Some to heart-ache
//Mana smiled again as a tiny crystalline tear slid down his cheek to land at the corner of Gackt’s mouth. Slowly, dark eyes slid open and he gently brushed the tear away.
“Why are you crying, princess?” Gackt asked frowning slightly, worried that he had done something to upset the beautiful man. Mana lightly touched his cheeks, his lips still curled in a tiny smile as he watched his lover.//
Anyone can lose their way
And if I said that we could turn it back
“I thought we were so happy.” Mana murmured. “Gackt...please don’t leave me...”
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change
//“You make me happy.” He answered twining his fingers with the larger man’s hand.
Gackt smiled brightly and sat up, pulling Mana against his chest and holding him tightly. Mana pressed his face against Gackt’s shoulder, clinging to him as though he thought he might vanish in to the night, like the dark prince he portrayed on stage. Gackt pressed a soft kiss to Mana’s curls and pulled away, looking into the petit man’s eyes. He leaned forward and kissed him sweetly.//
Do you think how it would have been sometimes
Do you pray that I'd never left your side
//“I’ll never leave you, love.” Gackt said, tenderly running his fingers over Mana’s full lips.
“Gackt.” Mana whispered as more tears began to flow. “Gackt, I love you.”//
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
“I loved more than I ever thought was possible to love anyone.” Mana scrubbed viciously at his eyes. “What did I do wrong?”
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
//Gackt smiled and kissed him again, pulling him down to lay in his arms. Mana relaxed against his lover’s strong chest, as Gackt embraced his small lover, holding him tightly as he drifted off to sleep. Gackt gazed at him, running his fingers through the silken ringlets, brushing his fingers over the perfectly sculpted face. ‘So lovely.’ He thought to himself as his princess curled closer to him. Gackt smiled and layed his cheek against Mana’s curls, his arm wound possessively about the smaller man.
“I love you, too, my beautiful princess.” Gackt murmured softly, delicately kissing his lover’s lips. “I always will.” //
If only we could turn the hands of time
If I could take you back would you still be mine
Mana gracefully stood and made his way down the hall to his room. Catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He sighed. ‘What would my Gac...’ He shook his head softly. ‘No, he’s not my Gackt anymore.’ He felt sting of tears in his eyes again, and quickly brushed them away.
What if I had never let you go
Would you be the man I used to know
What if I had never walked away
'Cos I still love you more than I can say
“I still love you, my prince.” Mana said softly to himself. He smiled as fresh tears filled his eyes and spilled over his cheeks. “I think I always will.”
If I'd stayed
If you'd tried
If we could only turn back time
But I guess we'll never know
