Late at night,
The monitor glows,
I stare,
At the waiting rows.
They long for words
I long to type.
But I can’t sort out,
This mess of mine.
My head weighs heavy,
My eyes are bleary.
My thoughts they blur,
My mind is weary.
I’ll try to sort,
Into verse,
What I hope to get better,
But keeps getting worse.
There was a boy,
Who took a chance,
Because he had hopes,
There might be romance.
I was unsure at the start,
And so spoke long hours,
To try to see his heart.
Now I have seen,
And I like what I saw,
And each day that passes,
A little more I fall.
We sit in the sun,
We walk in the cool,
The moon shines down,
I’m a lovesick fool.
Never more times a day,
Do the corners of my mouth,
Get tugged into a smile.
I love to look at him,
Goofily grinning all the while.
Out on the road,
Together we drive,
He holds my hand,
And everything is fine.
No –
Better than fine,
Everything is great.
I’m so unaccustomed,
To feeling this high,
Everyday shocks me,
With a new surprise.
My heart floats on air,
My head in the clouds.
As days go by,
More and more we learn,
But when we talk,
It becomes easy to discern.
His history is not simple,
Though he makes it seem as such.
Unresolved issues, lost loves,
Make his heart hard to touch.
Two fears hold my heart,
Wrap around,
Like icy fingers,
As frost on the ground.
The first is for him –
Scared of hurting,
His already bruised heart.
Messing with the life,
Of which I want to be a part.
He’s been injured before,
Could I just do more?
When words escape my lips,
I sometimes worry if they are wrong.
If I have said something,
To make our bond less strong.
I wish I could go back,
Press rewind and stop,
My lips from parting,
So many words,
Already I would crop.
He says no.
That I am perfect –
Honesty is good.
We don’t always mean what we say,
Especially when we’re not sure if we should.
The second I fear,
Is for me, how will I fare?
I wonder if its selfish?
But I don’t really care.
I worry that he’s not as over it as he says,
That the ghosts of girls,
Linger in his mind each day.
I know it seems irrational,
What’s past is gone.
But I can’t help thinking,
I’m a little pawn.
A piece on the board
One of many in a set,
That someday I will look back,
And only feel regret.
But then I look at his face.
His hands stay,
Residents on my cheeks,
His mind is working,
His eyes search my soul.
And I know I have to believe him,
When he says its all fine,
Its my only real choice,
I want him to be mine.
Should we never do anything because we are afraid?
