Trunks Has A Bad Day


Trunks looked out the window. 'Why has today been such a crappy day?' His frustration level rose really high today. He really needed someone to take it out on.

He was sitting at his desk when he remembered a telephone call that he had to make. He searched around for the number. 'Damn, why haven't I found it?' Just as he was about to give up, he found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"

He politely said, "This is Trunks Briefs and may I please speak to Marron?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on him! He sat and looked at the phone for a while. He couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. Then he found Marron's correct number and called her. He had transposed the last two digits.

After he hung up with Marron, he spotted the wrong number still laying on his desk. But decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, He yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number he wrote the word "jackass" and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when he forgot to spar with his dad or had a really bad day, Trunks would call him up. He would answer and He'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It always cheered him up. 'I haven't done this since I was a kid.' Trunks chuckled and went home.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for him. That meant he would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day he had an idea. Trunks dialed his number and heard his voice. "Hello?"

He made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our new caller ID program." He answered, "No!" and slammed down the receiver. He smirked and dialed it again, "That's because you're a jackass!"

The reason I taking the time to tell you this story is to show you how if there's ever anything bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 555-1212.

(Keep reading, it gets better.)


One day an old lady at the mall was really taking her time pulling out of her parking space. Trunks grumbled. "Why didn't I just fly here?" Finally, her car began to move ever so slowly and she began backing out. He backed up a little more to give her plenty of room. 'Great', he thought, 'that old lady is finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Neon came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space. Trunks started honking his horn and yelling, "You can't do that, buddy! I was here first!"

The guy got out of his Neon completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. He thought to his self, 'this guy is a jackass. There sure are a lot of jackasses in this world.' He then noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. Trunks quickly wrote down the number. Then hunted for another place to park.

The next day Trunks was at Capsule Corp., sitting at his desk. He had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-1212 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since he got his number on speed dial.) Then he looked for something to do. On the keyboard he noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Neon and decided to call him too. After a couple of rings someone answered the phone. He asked, "Are you the man with the black Neon for sale?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car is parked right out front."

Trunks then asked, "What's your name?"

"My name is Preston Douglas."

"When's a good time to catch you, Preston?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen, Preston, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Preston, you're a jackass!" And slammed the phone down.

After he hung up, Trunks added Preston's number to his speed dialer. Now he had two jackasses to call whenever there was a bad day. However this wasn't as much fun as it used to be. He was thinking of original ways to get some laughs. He thought about it hard and came up with a solution.

First, he had dialed jackass #1. The man answered nicely and Trunks yelled, "You're a jackass!" But he didn't hang up.

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

Trunks said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

Trunks said, "No!"

He said, "What's your name, pal?"

Trunks replied, "Preston Douglas."

He then asked, "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Neon is parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Preston. You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" And he hung up. 'What does that jackass really think he can do to me?' He thought with a grin on his face.

Then he called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."

Trunks said, "Hello, jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt."

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, jackass!"

And hung up. Then he picked up the phone and called the police. Trunks told them he was at 1802 West 34th Street and that he was going to kill his gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. After that Trunks took to the air and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. "This is all too good to be true!"

When Trunks got there, he watched two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter. He watched the whole thing eating four bags of popcorn. He also taped it off the evening news that night!

"I am going to have to find more jackasses now!" Trunks laughed and went to annoy his father.


AniMako-chan: Another funny fanfic for the master of disaster Ashley!

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