I gulped down a giant lump in my throat and closed my eyes. I said a quick prayer of forgiveness, then opened my eyes again. Everyonewas still anxiously staring at me, awaiting my explanation that I was blindly jumping into headfirst.
"Last night, the fight between Matt and me was no ordinary fight. It was started because of my stupidity and somewhat, curiosity," I quickly glance around at their faces, to see if anyone was catching on yet. No one looked like something had been revealed to them. I grudgingly continued with my story. "Well, it was late and I went in search of Matt because I noticed he wasn't at his post. I walked to the river, only to find Matt there. Matt was in the river, bathing." I could feel my cheeks begin to burn as I blushed intensely. I was extremely nervous and intimidated by what their reactions would be. Still, no one said anything, I just noticed that many of them uneasily shifted their positions. "So, instead of immediately leaving, I crept over to a tree. Ya know, to keep an eye on him, make sure nothing would happen to him," I said. Matt and Agumon both shot me a look of, 'That's not what I remember.' "Umm…as I was walking to watch Matt from behind a tree, I tripped and fell. This startled Matt, and he turned around to see me lying face down in the dirt. Then the fight started. It was obvious because Matt was angry that I was watching him take a bath, and I don't blame him. Then, you all basically know that Matt broke my arm and this is why I'm like this now," I added.
Then Mimi chimed in, "Is that all you wanted to tell us? Why the fight broke out? That's not so bad Tai. Why would that make you so nervous and fidgety around us?"
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Matt sit down and stare at the ground. Then, Izzy suddenly jerked his head up. It seemed as if he had seen a ghost, but I realized his eyes were rapidly darting back and forth from me to Matt. He looked appalled at the thought that was running through his mind, and I knew he had discovered our, or should I say, my secret. Matt, looked up at Izzy with hurtful eyes and then looked back at me.
"Tai, go on," he said softly. It almost pained him to say that. I didn't understand why, since I was the one putting my life out for all to see here. I was the one that would be mocked and ridiculed from now on after this charade is over. I continued to tell my story nevertheless.
"Well, that's not all," I swallowed hard again. "Th…This morning another thing happened. I, um, well, you see when I went for a short walk this morning, and I ran into Matt. He was sleeping next to Gabumon. I was planning to tell him that I was sorry for what happened last night, but that didn't exactly happen," I shifted my gaze to Agumon, and he nodded his head at me. "Instead of just apologizing, I…I hugged Matt, and I, um, kissed him," I mumbled under my breath. I stiffened as I waited for everyone's reaction to my confession, but I didn't hear anything. No one moved, no one said a word, it almost seemed like everyone was holding their breath.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sora finally broke the awkward silence in the group. She had had her back facing me the entire revelation, but now she swung herself around so she could look me dead in the eye. Sora's large brownish-red eyes were bloodshot and still very watery looking. All she did was stare at me with a look of anguish on her face. Then, without any warning, she stiffly stood up and walked towards Matt. He stood up to meet her, but when she got to him, all she did was stand in front of him and look at the ground.
"Sora…" Matt whispered to her. Before he could even try to show sympathy or compassion, Sora jerked her head up, and looked at Matt with fire in her eyes.
"I hate you!" Sora shouted in Matt's face. Then with all her might, she punched Matt in the stomach, hard.
I watched as Matt closed his eyes and winced from the sudden punch. Then he narrowly opened both eyes and gave Sora a tiny laugh as he looked at her. He held his stomach and continued to look intently at Sora before finally saying what was on his mind.
"So, Sora. I always considered you to be the understanding, calm, cool and collected type. I guess everyone snaps eventually," Matt remarked slyly. He acted as if he wasn't phased by the punch at all.
"Shut the hell up Matt! This is all your fault! Do you hear me? Your fault!" Sora shot back.
"How dare you say it's my fault? Didn't you listen to one word Tai just said? He just explained how he put the moves on me, and only he was the one advancing!" Matt yelled.
"I don't care what you say, I know it is your fault. You, with your ever so smooth advances and turn-ons. Anyone could be attracted to a sneaky guy like you, even me!" Sora babbled.
Matt looked quite taken aback by this. He had never heard such rage and fury in Sora's voice, and frankly he looked a little frightened. Then, he shouted back at Sora with just as much intensity in his own voice.
"How can you even say that?! I don't believe you would think I led HIM on! Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm straight!" He cried. Suddenly, he realized what he had said, and quickly glanced over at me. I could feel my blood boiling at that horrific statement he had just made. "I'm straight!" is what Matt had harshly yelled. I didn't want to look at him, but I felt my unwilling eyes look up to meet his. Matt was looking at me with some shock and pain in them. His face was concerned for me, for him, for Sora and for the rest of the group. He knew what he had said was true, but in his heart, he felt incredible pain as the realization hit him that he had just hurt one of his best friends. He dropped his head, and then I watched as an evil grin spread across his face.
Matt suddenly looked at Sora with a new compassion in his eyes. 'No!' a voice inside my head screamed. 'He can't, it can't be!' I watched in despair as I saw Matt lift his hand and gently stroke Sora's cheek. Sora watched him with worried, yet excited eyes. Matt bent his head down to bring his lips level with hers, and then he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss her. And he did. Matt kissed Sora with all the passion, dignity and innocence he had left inside of him. The worst part was, neither Sora nor he pulled away from the tender kiss.
There they stood, kissing each other in front of everyone. My heart was aching as I watched the scene unfold before me. I looked around to see how the turn of events had amazed everyone else. Izzy had closed his laptop, which definitely told me this was no ordinary occurrence. My eyes shifted up to Joe who was still standing behind Izzy. Joe's eyes were wide and confused at what had just happened. I watched as Joe subconsciously pushed his glasses back up his nose and continue to stare at Matt and Sora. Then I saw Mimi. Most of the time she was too ditzy to understand anything that was going on, but she completely understood that this was a strange twist in the life of the digidestined. Mimi watched, looking just as completely surprised as the rest of us. Then, I thought of my own reaction. I could feel the heat in my cheeks, I must be bright red with embarrassment and anger. Before I knew what I was doing I opened my mouth and yelled pitifully into the air.
"NO!" was the only word that escaped my mouth. Everyone's attention had been turned to my sudden outburst and I continued to stare fiercely with hatred in my eyes at Matt and Sora. The whole thing wouldn't have bothered me so much if it were Mimi he was kissing. Then at least I could tell myself that he liked her. But no, this kiss seemed to take place only to spite me. Then I looked at Sora. She was the girl that I should have loved, my best friend in the entire universe. Why did she have to tear my heart apart like this? I never would have dreamed in a million years that Sora could betray me like this, but then again, she felt the same way about me. She had been asking herself why I had betrayed her and chose to dedicate my heart to Matt.
Then Matt let go of Sora. 'Finally,' I thought to myself. Matt gave her a devilish grin and just studied her. The Sora smiled back and hugged him. Sora nearly choked him with her tight grasp around his neck, but all Matt could do was smile radiantly and laugh at her enthusiasm. They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. I felt myself back away from the group. I wanted to die. Just when I had realized that I really liked Matt, he goes and deliberately hurts my deepest feelings.
As I was backing up I bumped into a small body behind me. I turned around to see TK standing there, and then Kari following behind him. TK looked up at me with the same bright blue eyes that Matt had, and told me that Kari and he had gotten bored down at the river. Kari waved to me and gave me a hug. Then she asked where I was going, and without thinking, I said to go look for Agumon. She just nodded and smiled, and then continued walking towards camp with TK.
I couldn't even look back at camp, for I didn't want to be reminded of the immense heartache I felt right now. I continued walking away, until I broke into a sprint. I needed to get away, and fast. I saw the river come into view, and I felt myself compelled to run towards it. As I ran, I stripped off my shirt and goggles. Then I pulled off my socks and sneakers as I continued to hop towards the river. I reached the river and stood there unzipping my shorts. I let them drop to my ankles, then I pulled down my underwear as well and briskly stepped into the river. I needed to cool myself off, because I knew that if I didn't soon, I was going to burst into flames.
Then I thought of something that made me want to break down and cry hysterically. This was where my feelings for Matt had first made themselves present. I couldn't believe I had found my way back to the river where I had curiously watched him bathe just the night before. I wanted to fall of the face of the Digiworld for being stupid enough to return to the one place that hurt me the most.
I imagined Matt taking a bath next to me and smiled. Unfortunately, I knew that could never happen. I decided to get back out of the water, and sleep the rest of the day. My brain was tired and hurt too much from all the confusing emotions I needed to sort out. I dressed myself quickly, and then lay down on the river's bank, gazing up into the bright blue sky. I wished things were simple again, but I knew things would never return to normal. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
About three hours later I woke up to find someone sitting next to me. It was him. I didn't want to move, because that might give away that I was awake. I closed my eyes again, but I didn't go to sleep. Then I heard Matt shift his position, and I opened my eyes again to look at him. He was sitting down facing me, and staring at me with his intense indigo eyes. I just looked back at him coldly, and then rolled over to get up.
"Wait," he protested.
"Why should I?" I snapped. I looked over to see he was serious, since his eyes were big and begging me. "All right. What is it? Did you come to savagely rip open the rest of my soul?"
"Look Tai. I'm sorry about the way I acted back there. The thing is, I panicked. When I had said 'I'm straight', I immediately saw the pain in your eyes," Matt calmly said.
"I remember," I replied through gritted teeth.
"Come on Tai. Stop being so babyish. Anyway, I panicked and had to double-check my statement. Yes, when I kissed Sora I liked it, and it felt right. But you know what? I don't think I could ever live with myself, knowing that I broke your heart," Matt confessed.
"Huh?" What was he saying? Could it be? Did he want me instead of Sora? No, that's not right, he had said kissing Sora felt right. Matt resumed talking and looked at me very seriously now.
"Tai, I'm sorry for what I did back there. It's only, my father would kill me if he suspected I was infatuated with a guy too," Matt said sheepishly. 'I don't believe this,' I thought, 'Could Matt really be confessing his forbidden love to me?'
"I, feel the same way about you, Tai," he nearly choked on his words. He looked deeply into my eyes. Then he continued talking, "Tai, it's just that we can never be together. My father has taught me to be tough and he would never accept me as his son ever again if I told him that I was gay," Matt sighed sadly. His eyes looked at the ground. "I just needed to tell you that before telling you goodbye."
"Yamato…" was my only reply. Then I delicately wrapped my right arm around his waist, as not to alarm him. I felt his body twinge slightly at my touch, but then he relaxed, and remained in my hold. When I saw he didn't pull away, I proceeded to kiss him. Matt welcomed the kiss, and even kissed back this time. He reached up and ran his fingers through my thick brown hair, allowing his hand to linger in my hair for a while. Finally, Matt's hand released its hold on my mop, and gently slid down my face, then neck and eventually came to resting on my chest.
'Wow,' I thought, 'for someone doing this for the first time, Matt sure knew how to make someone crazy.'
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