.
Silence followed Hiei's announcement, a deep penetrating silence.
Botan had known about Hiei and Kurama from the start. Kurama was an open book and when his swift looks of longing had become swift, loving glances, she had immediately made the connection. The others, however, she was certain had not, and after a while she figured they never would. Hiei and Kurama had continued to be distant friends in front of the group. Yusuke, perceptive in many ways, didn't know love when it was directly in front of his eyes. Look at Keiko, look at herself. Botan had loved him so long she didn't remember when the feeling had started. But he was oblivious, which was a good thing. Botan wouldn't dream of coming between him and Keiko. That little statement of Hiei's must have lit a light, however. It had been pretty blatant. She only hoped no one in the room said anything stupid. Hiei was normally unstable and at the moment. . .
"Well," Kuwabara said into the silence. His face was flushed, but he was smiling a rather goofy smile, "well, I guess you don't like Yukina after all," and he LAUGHED. Hiei nearly choked. He looked at Kuwabara, his expression sickened.
"Of course not," he said, as if it were the most obvious fact in the world. Which it was, to him.
Hiei couldn't believe the words he had blurted so unexpectedly. He was angry as well as worried, but that was really no excuse. Sometime when this was over he would have to think about it. For now, he needed action, soon. Yusuke was staring at him blankly.
A million things were running through Yusuke's head. Things like Hiei and Kurama were "going out" and the inevitable follow ups. Had they "gone out" before? Were they "together"? Had they... better not to think about it. Although, he just had, so it was a little late not to. Well, if not that than had they kissed? He had occasionally considered Kuwabara that way, but his obvious interest in Yukina had cooled those thoughts. Anyhow, he really liked girls, didn't he? Well, except Keiko, who was his girlfriend, which the more he thought about it, the less he approved. Maybe he had misheard the whole thing. Maybe Hiei had meant date in the sense of meeting. Or maybe not. Probably not, he admitted to himself. Well, when he and Keiko went out she was always late and it was always because...
"Maybe he's still getting ready?" Yusuke asked aloud, without really meaning to.
Botan emitted a small sound which sounded to him like a relieved giggle, cut off.
"No," Hiei said, then he turned abruptly and walked back to the doorway.
"But," Yusuke began, certain he may have put his finger on the problem.
Hiei, amazed they were all speaking about this so calmly, actually shook his head. "No, I checked," he admitted, "he's not at home, he wasn't at the park, not at school, not here and still not in the park." Botan nodded.
"Maybe he's with Lord Koenma," Botan suggested.
"Hn," Hiei replied, crossing his arms.
Lord Koenma was having a terrible nightmare. Someone had stolen his pacifier and he couldn't get it back. He was trapped in a land of endless golden fields with no pacifier and no attendants. He was completely and utterly alone. Suddenly the wheat fronds to his right stirred. A ghostly form, no more than an outline of a man approached him. He stared at it. For some reason it seemed familiar.
"I'm sorry to bother you," the form said. It spoke not aloud, but directly into his mind, "but have you seen a rose around?" Koenma looked at the form and shook his head.
"I haven't," he replied honestly. "Someone has stolen my pacifier though, and I can't find it. All I see is these stupid fields." For a moment the form stood silent and unmoving. "Pacifier," it said, as if testing the word, "pacifier." Then it bent to look directly into Koenma's eyes. "Pacifier," Koenma noticed the voice was strangely familiar. "Who," the voice began, and suddenly Lord Koenma jerked into wakefulness. His pacifier was in his mouth, he noticed thankfully, tentatively sucking in and releasing, suck, release, suck, release. His heart beat calmed and he remembered where he was. How had he managed to fall asleep? He needed to retrieve the Golden Seal and return to the castle as soon as possible. His father needed him!
As usual, the group was getting nowhere. Hiei's patience was running out. In this particular case he tended to agree with Kuwabara. Nothing would happen if they didn't DO something. Perhaps some clues could be found in the surrounding areas.
"Well?" Hiei asked impatiently. He received no answer. "Fine," he said, "I suppose I'll have to do it all," and he left. In the past when Kurama had gone missing, it had inevitably had to do with some enemy from the past and so Hiei began there, looking for someone who might have discovered just who Kurama was. The list of possibilities was nearly endless, but it was better than standing around.
Kuwabara growled, "I hate it when he does that," he said frustrated. "That little runt!" Yusuke shook his head.
"He's not all wrong," Yusuke said, "We aren't getting anywhere this way Botan." Botan nodded.
"You're right, I just. . . Now I remember!" she exclaimed, mounting her magical oar, "It has to be the trial of leadership. How could I have forgotten?" Yusuke and Kuwabara ran after her as the world blurred around them.
"The trial of leadership?" Yusuke asked.
"Yes, of course," Botan replied, "in order for Koenma to pass from Lord to Prince, he must first succeed in passing the trial of leadership." She took out the little book she always kept handy. "Let me see, oh yes, here; When the son of a king of the Spirit World comes of age to progress from Lord to Prince, he must first pass a test which proves his loyalty to the people, his perseverance and his strength. For this test his family must estrange him so that all he trusts is removed. The people will be told he is their enemy. If the candidate has treated the people well, they will be allowed to help him, but they must not be encouraged to do so by the King or the candidates family. You see, the King sent us to apprehend him in hopes that we would figure out what was going on and HELP him. So you see, we must go straight to the temple."
"The temple?" Kuwabara asked, "I don't get it. Am I being dim?"
"If you are," Yusuke replied, "then so am I."
"No, no, I'll explain when we get there," Botan replied.
What bothered Hiei most was the fact that he could NOT feel Kurama's spirit energy at all, anywhere. It was like Kurama was dead, and yet, if Kurama had died, Hiei was certain he would have felt it happen. If he somehow hadn't and Kurama was dead... he felt anger radiate like flames and smelled the bandages on his arm being singed. He fought to calm himself.
This was No time for That. Kurama wasn't dead. He had to believe that in order to remain sane and to keep some semblance of calm. SO, what else would erase someone's spirit energy? The Dream Weaver, his mind whispered, pulling back the memory of a warm, lazy afternoon.
Winter had finally given way to spring and Kurama had dragged Hiei out to the garden.
"Don't worry," he'd insisted, "no one comes out here this early in the season but me." They held hands and walked until they came to the rows and rows of rose bushes which Hiei suspected Kurama had created in a day sometime when he was bored. Kurama turned his eyes on Hiei then, the look soft and expectant, pleading. Hiei could never deny Kurama in that mood. He leaned up slightly to kiss Kurama and Kurama pulled him to the ground. All around them the roses grew and bloomed unnaturally, creating a barrier between the two of them and the outside world. For a long time they simply kissed. Hiei loved the feel of it. Before he'd met Kurama he'd never even thought of such a joining and after the idea of long kisses and soft touches had been a guilty dream. It was something he should never have longed for, for it was something he didn't deserve. Yet whenever his lips met Kurama's, all of his thoughts fled and only that moment mattered. That warmth of their bodies pressed together, the soft tickle of their tongues grazing each other again and again, the tenderness of Kurama's lips against his, the waves of pleasure pulsing through his body. After an eternity of just those sensations, Kurama's hands gently slid down his body and...
And that was NOT the part of that day he needed to remember.
After the long slow love making, Hiei had lay in Kurama's arms feeling warm and refreshed. After the first few encounters he'd had with Kurama, Hiei knew better than to rush off directly afterward. If he did, Kurama pouted for days. It hadn't taken long really for Hiei to start enjoying the after as much as the during. Of course he would never admit it out loud. Kurama sighed as he gazed through the rose bushes intertwined above their heads.
"This is the kind of day that always reminds me of the Dreamweaver," Kurama commented softly as he ran his hand through Hiei's hair. "Dreamweaver," Kurama said again in his soft, musical voice. "Sounds beautiful, doesn't it?"
"Hn," Hiei replied, noncommittal.
"Yes, a beautiful name for a truly horrible person. I don't know what got into me the day I decided to steal his favorite gem. I suppose it was the claim that it couldn't be done." Usually tight mouthed about his past, Hiei had discovered that after sex, Kurama would detail large portions of it if not interrupted. Hiei wasn't curious at all, really he wasn't... Of course he was, and if he just remained silent the tales wove themselves revealing more and more about his love. Love? No, not love, another thing he would never admit to. So may things he felt and thought, that he could never admit. No one's fault but his own, of course.
"The Dreamweaver was well known at that time. The kind of man people threatened their children with if they misbehaved. One would think someone named the Dreamweaver would be good, but remember to dream is to no longer travel within reality. It is said that in his youth the Dreamweaver became angry with his mother and plunged her into a never- ending waking dream in which she believed herself to be his loyal servant. As he grew older the Dreamweaver's powers grew and as you may have guessed, his powers allowed him to control the mind. It is said that the Dreamweaver was so strong he could take people and transfer them from the real world into the world of dreams. He could actually remove them from existence and tear them into tiny, unrecognizable pieces, leaving them to roam through the dreamland, possibly never to be whole again. I was so lucky he did not get me. For years and years after I stole that gem, and I assure you I successfully stole it, I put up special wardings before I slept. I don't think he would know me if he found me now, but sometimes it still worries me." Kurama turned his lovely green eyes on Hiei and they looked haunted. "While I was there I saw enough to believe he could do every bit of what they said he could." Then Hiei noted actual tears escaping Kurama's eyes. Tentatively he reached out a hand and touched a tear. The extent of Kurama's emotions touched, yet upset Hiei.
"You had to take care of yourself, Kurama," Hiei said, softly.
"Did I?" Kurama asked, "Or was I simply too selfish to stop and help? Was I to self-centered to care?"
"The roads we travel are often narrow," Hiei replied, disturbed by Kurama's tendencies to overcompensate for his past. "If you cautiously watch always to your left, you will inevitably stumble over the cliff to the right." Kurama had looked at him, for a long time, then, he'd leaned forward and pressed his lips to Hiei's.
Botan stopped just outside the royal temple doors. "When Lord Koenma decided it was time to take on his quest, he informed his father and came to the temple to receive instruction," Botan explained. "At least that's what he was supposed to do."
"So, all we have to do is go inside and ask where Lord Koenma has gone," Yusuke said.
"Well," Botan replied, "sort of. There's a kind of a trick to it."
Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at her skeptically. "What?" Botan asked. They continued to stare. "Ok, ok, I'll take care of it." Relieved, they followed her into the temple.
Hiei was alone in a dark room. He felt small and hungry. His body ached. Voices filled his head. "Miserable child...
It is forbidden...
Such an act is dirty, unclean...
The child is so ugly, how does it live...
Should have been killed, it and it's filthy mother," then the words became more blatant, and were directed to him. "Stay away from this home child of evil...
Mommy, mommy look, isn't he ugly?
Don't look at him dear, he was born of sin...
Leave this place and do not return, do you understand, you filthy, useless, dirty, sinful, creature. You have no right to breath our air. Your mother was a whore and you... "
"NO!" Hiei screamed, anger blazed through him, "I will kill you. I will kill you all!" But he couldn't kill them, because he couldn't see them. Yet if he could, he would kill them all. Fire burned within him. Then he remembered. Someone had taken Kurama and that was why he was all alone. One of them had Kurama and was keeping him. Cruel laughter filled his head.
"He is too pure for one such as you. You have known it from the start. Think about it, rotten creature. You are evil to the core and your own hatred has eaten him alive. You're lucky we were here to save him." In the distance he could see Kurama floating above the ground surrounded by blue light. His skin was so pale it seemed slightly blue. He looked near to death.
"Leave this place and perhaps he will survive, this lovely delicate creature you long for. Can't you see how your ugly, unclean body is tainting him? Soon he will turn into a pile of rotten, filthy, ugly, trash, JUST, LIKE, YOU."
Hiei felt the tears hot and wet as they trailed down his cheeks. How could he have done it? He knew he didn't deserve someone like Kurama, yet he had taken him. Sure, Kurama had initiated the relationship, but Kurama had never understood how unclean Hiei was. Instead of telling him, Hiei had allowed Kurama to give him everything he did not deserve.
Stupid, and now Kurama was paying for it. Hiei was a great destroyer. It was all he was capable of. For once, he could do good. He had to leave Kurama, leave him to heal, then maybe he would live. Tears streamed down Hiei's face.
Alone, he would be alone again, but he had to do it for Kurama.
"Kurama," he said one last time. He must never say it again, lest he mistakenly cause Kurama harm.
Laughter emanated from the Dreamweaver's tower. People, demons, whatever, he could manipulate them all. How easy it was. Especially for those with secret love or secret pain. Kurama was proving more of a challenge than he'd expected, but it was no matter. Even if the troublesome Youki did find a way to escape, he would find that he had lost his own most precious gem...
. .
