.
I hate being me.
It wouldn't be so bad if I weren't hopelessly in love with him. Yes, it's true. Kurama, the most famous thief in all the Makai, who could be located by the trail of broken hearts he left in his wake, is now reduced to nothing more than a hopeless romantic. Romantic, because I could imagine spending the rest of my life (both ningen and Youko) with him- walking hand-in-hand along the beach, watching the sun set together, cuddling up together on cold nights, and- well, you get the picture. And hopeless, because- well, there's no hope.
It's painfully obvious that there's only one person on his mind. How I wish it were me! But it isn't, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. No matter how much time we spend together, I can never get him to realize that I'm the one who wants him, that I'd love him the way he wants to be loved. No mere words could express the love I hold for him. How my heart fills with tenderness and joy at the sight of him.
But he doesn't see me at all. Well, I mean, of course he sees me, but he doesn't see me. All he sees is Kurama the Reikai Tantei; a partner, of sorts, but no more, and only that because we both live to serve Koenma's whims for the time being. Him more than me, but... at least we share that.
At times, it seems like thats all we share.
'It doesn't matter if we have nothing in common,' I keep telling myself. 'Opposites attract, don't they?'
'But he's not attracted at all,' an insidious voice in my head whispers. I firmly tell it to shut up.
Of course, I suppose I could always try the most direct approach- sit him down and say, "This is how it is." Would he even understand what he was being told? At times he seems so... innocent isn't the word. Naive, maybe. The thought of trying to explain "the birds and the bees" almost causes me to burst out laughing.
Yusuke gives me an odd look. We're all in Koenma's office, while the little god explains the latest assignment. Yusuke turns back to Koenma, and I allow my thoughts to drift once again. He isn't looking at me right now. Not that he ever does. He watches Koenma intently, with a solemn expression.
I want to make him smile.
Koenma dismisses us, and I realize with a start that I haven't heard a word he said. It didn't matter.
"Don't worry, Koenma," Yusuke announced. "We'll march right into that cave and get your whatchamacallit back."
Sometimes I just have to smile at Yusuke's bluntness. It's sweet, in a way. Keiko is a very lucky woman.
Yusuke marches out of the room, and I follow dutifully. My breath catches in my throat as he grabs my arm, murmuring my name softly.
"Kurama, are you okay? Are you up to this?" The concern in his eyes makes me want to weep.
"Iie..." I remember Yusuke's bluntness, and I think that sometimes that boy has the right idea. Of course, I couldn't do it here, in the Reikai. In an Italian restaurant, over a bottle of champagne... in my room... I dismiss each idea. Too mushy, too forward. If I take him to my room, he might get the wrong idea. I don't want to scare him away.
Staring into his eyes, I think of the perfect place.
"Would you like to take a walk in the park?"
He's quite startled.
I gesture toward the retreating backs of the boys. "They'll be able to handle this without me, and... well, I think there's something we need to talk about." There. Now it's out in the open... or almost is.
He nods slowly. "I suppose we could... let me just ask Koenma..."
I'm pulling him down the corridor before he can protest. "No," I tell him firmly. "Just come... please?"
He gives in with sigh and a muttered, "He's not going to be very pleased with us."
I give him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, George. I'll smooth whatever ruffled feathers he may have."
Hopefully, though, if all goes well, we won't be coming back to the Reikai for at least twenty-four hours.
. .
