Title: When Annoying Commercials Come to Life Author: HarleyAngel Rating: PG Disclaimer: Joss owns everything except my imaginative story. All characters and settings are his. Distribution: Ask me if you want it. It's only here...for now. Summery: The title gives you a good idea. lol ************************************************************************* When Annoying Commercials Come To Life The pouting stomps of Buffy's boots could be heard through the cemetary. She was generally annoyed. Usually it would have been a great night. Slay a few vamps, check in with Giles and go home, but nooooo. She had to have this happen. Of all the hellmouthy things to happen, Mayors that are giant snakes, big blue Smurf guys, even Angelus and Dru; those were things she could handle, things she could understand in her slayery way...but this. Even the vampires were staying away! Huffing by a mauselium at a quick pace, stake in hand, Buffy rushed to Giles. Following not ten feet behind her was a walking, talking (chanting actually), two foot egg. Equipt with scrawny arms, legs, cartoon gloved hands and boots and a generally annoying smile, the egg bounded side to side behind the slayer all the while chanting or rather singing to itself, 'I'm the Incredible, Edible Egg!' Over and over and over...... ***** Buffy walked into the watchers house not an hour after starting her patrol, slamming the door behind her. Giles came running in from the hallway, looking slightly flushed and frustrated. He stared for a moment at his slayer before speaking. "Buffy?" "We have a problem." she said, stating the obvious in an angry tone. "A problem?" he started before a noise caught his attention. A muffled voice could be heard from out side. "What in the-" Buffy reached out and grabbed the door handle and swung the door open. The animated two foot egg, who had slumped slightly jumped back into attention and smiled even wider, beginning to bounce from side to side repeating it's line twice before the door was again slammed in it's face. However, the chanting continued unabated. The watcher sighed and turned to towards the hall, walking to the bathroom door with Buffy in step. "You think that's bad...." he began, then pulled the door open. Bouncing around the bathroom on all of the surfaces was a three foot tall piece of bacon. It hopped around and around chanting one word in tune with it's bounces. "Ba-con, Ba-con, Ba-con." before Giles slammed the door on it. From outside the window, a small white round head and two comical eyes could be seen looking through the window, before the 'egg chant' continued. "What in the hell is going on?" Buffy screeched. Suddenly a scream from the back door caught the attention of the two standing in Giles', hallway. A shock of red hair came screeching through the room to hide behind Buffy. Not two seconds later, before they could ask their questions, a man dressed in a giant milk carton suit came walking through the back door. His voice was arrogant and he was waving his arms around. "Come on! You know you want to drink it! Calcium man! Milk! Milk! Come on, one glass, that's all it takes, one glass a day! Where'd she go?" he started to search the room before Giles grabbed him by the carton and dragged him out the front door, throwing him onto the egg in the process. "Well, never knew all the parts of my balanced breakfast would be coming after me." Willow mumbled under her breath, causing Buffy to laugh. Twenty minutes later, Xander and Anya came running through the front door, pushing back the heard of breakfast quantities and batting off a Honeycomb crazed fur ball. It screeched out it's need for Honeycomb through the door along with the chanting egg and the protesting milk carton. From in the bathroom, 'ba-con' could still be heard along with variations between bangs and crashes. "What in the heck is going on?" Xander yelled plopping down. "We were in the middle of having sex when this thing just popped off of his cereal box and started coming after us. It was very enfuriating. Is this the kind of stuff you humans deal with? Cause I can't remember seeing anything like this before." Anya huffed before sitting beside her boyfriend. "Now all we need is Spike and the problem gang is complete." Willow moaned then gasped as the door flung open and a very pissed off Spike stood in the doorway. "It wasn't me, I swear! I just said it, never thought it!" Willow said as the rest of them looked at her in admonishment. "Would someone care to explain what the bloody hell is going on around here?" Spike growled. "Hi, Spike, I'm fine, how are you? Lovely weather." Buffy started. "Yeah junior, what's your problem?" Xander asked, grinning at his own very old joke. "What's my problem? What's my problem? THIS, " he stepped aside and waved out into the night," is my problem!!! " he growled before moving inside the door. Apon closer inspection, the group could see two very large hairy and not to mention GREEN legs standing outside the door. Then, in a thundering voice came the reply to Spike's annoyance. "HO HO HO, GREEN GIANT!" the deep voice boomed. "OH, god...." Buffy moaned, turning to walk into the kitchen. As Spike walked in and sat down in the lazychair he turned to Giles. "By the way, did you know there is a giant egg pissing in your bush out front?" he grinned as Giles face turned white and he rushed out to save his precious rose bushes. TBC....