I Thought She Knew

Songfic: Nsync's 'I thought she knew.'
Zelgadis almost misses his chance to have Amelia. He tells her on her 
wedding day.
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(Zelgadis's pov)

	Everyone was there. Lina, Gourry, Filia, even Xellos had found 
his way to the ceremony. I myself stood back off in the shadows.  I 
still couldn't believe it. She looked so beautiful in that white lace 
gown; like an angel fallen from heaven. Her short hair was put up with 
little white roses and her makeup was done lightly. Maids and servents 
were swarming all around her, flustering over the way she looked, trying 
to make perfection even more perfect, but to no avail. She had a flush 
running over her smooth alabaster skin, slightly tanned from our 
journies.
	I turned away from this heavenly sight, closing my eyes 
as the pain and realization slammed into my body again, making my 
heart ache all the way through my veins till even my fingertips throbbed. 
I knew what I was missing. I knew what I had missed out on the chance 
to have. Her. Amelia Wil Tesla Saillune. This goddess  disguised as a 
princess that stood just across the room, yet thousands of miles 
away. I remembered Lina's goodhearted attempts to get me to get 
closer to Amelia. She knew how we felt about each other, however we 
couldn't see it...I couldn't see it...until then.

She was my once in a lifetime
happy ending come true
oh I guess I should have told her
I thought she knew

	Now I knew that I loved her. I knew it was so deep and so true. 
How could I have missed it? How her eyes sparkled whenever I 
talked softly to her. How she looked at me when she thought I 
didn't notice. How she so longingly wished I would return her 
feelings. And I had. But I had waited too long and now here we were. And 
she was getting ready to get married. To HIM. Sure, I didn't know him, 
but I didn't want to and I didn't care that I didn't. He was like 
any other prince. Out to get Amelia's family fortune. He looked at 
her and he couldn't see her. Not really. She was just another peice of 
meat to him. I saw that disgusting look in his eyes. I knew he was 
just waiting for the wedding night. I shuddered as visions of the 
two of them invaded my mind. She wouldn't go that
willingly. He 
would probably force her down and be asleep before she even knew what 
had happened.
	She desereved better than that though. She desereved to 
be layed down on the softed sheets available in all the lands and 
made love to sweetly and slowly until she almost passed out 
from pleasure and love. She desereved someone who would love her 
tenderly until the end of time and beyond then. And gods above and 
below knew how much I wanted that someone to be me. I
wanted so badly 
for that someone to be me standing up at that alter waiting for 
her to walk down the aisle with a smile on her face and right into 
my waiting arms. I wanted so much to hear her say that
she would be 
mine forever.  But I had lost that chance, hadn't I?

she said I took her for granted
that's the last thing I'd do
oh I'll never understand it
I thought she knew

	She was going to marry him for the good of her kingdom. Her 
father had given her until her 18th birthday to find her husband. 
I knew she had had her heart set on me, but had never wanted to 
burdon me, knowing how I felt annoyed by her. But that wasn't true.  
I loved her little justice rants. They were so cute. And the way 
her nose scrunched up whenever she was confused. Those huge blue eyes 
shining back at me with such innocence. I couldn't believe how 
beautiful she was and I had missed it. 	
	Lina lead the other girls down the aisle, not too happy herself,  
knowing how Amelia felt about the mand she was marrying. But for 
Amelia, she kept a smile on her face, though everyone
could tell it 
was a forced fake one. She had been Amelia's maid of honor and 
Gourry one of the grooms men. For Amelia's comfort, the king had 
placed him there. Now he sat beside Lina as Amelia took the stand 
in front of the prince soon to be her husband. He looked generally 
bored and ready to leave. Then I saw him look down into her dress 
when she looked away. I wanted to kill him right now for that 
disgusting smug look on his face. He didn't deserve her. He was 
beneith her. He was scum compared to her. Everyone was.

I thought she knew my world revolved around her
my lovelight burned for her alone
but she couldn't see the flame
only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

	The priest began the ceremony and I began to listen in praying 
for her to say 'I don't' when her part came up. The prince simply 
gave a small nod, paying most of his attention to Amelia's breasts 
and giving a small 'yeah, I do', before going back to looking at his 
nails. Amelia looked ready to cry. I almost couldn't stand it. That 
idiot was standing up there picking at his nails and
sighing while 
she was about to cry. Her wedding day was supposed to be wonderful. 
I knew how women always talked about getting married and how beautiful  
they wanted it to be. I knew that Amelia felt the same. I had 
heard her talk about it many-a-times with Lina while they were having 
one of their rare girl talks. I had seen the look in her eyes when 
Martina and Zangulus had gotten married. She had stars filling her 
eyes; today though, they were tears.
	I started to wonder where I went wrong. I had tried to be kind 
to her and I guess I thought she knew that I didn't mean any of the 
harsh words I meant. I thought she understood that. But she needed 
more. She needed to hear that I didnt hate her.  To hear that I 
admired her speeches and the way she carried herself and her justice 
so proudly. She wanted to hear that she was my friend
and that she 
meant the world to me. And even though she never knew I felt any of 
these things, she needed to hear me tell her I loved her. I should have 
told her too. I realized that. That I should have
taken her in my 
arms when we were alone one of those many days and kissed her 
breathless, telling her aloud that I loved her like flowers love 
the sun. Like Romeo loved Juliet. But I didn't. I was
so scared of 
her rejecting me, that I just let it go on and on and now here I was, 
loosing the thing I wanted the most. More than my cure, more than 
power.....the woman I loved was being taken away
from me.
	I looked up as the priest asked Amelia if she would take the 
man across from her to be her husband.

A heart full of words left unspoken
now that we're through
I'd tell my soul, tw'ere this silence broken
oh, I thought she knew
I thought she knew

	She paused for the longest time before sighing and looking 
around the crowd. When noone helped her out, she turned back and 
hesitantly answered.
	"I....I d-do." she whispered, so quietly almost noone heard 
her. But with my hearig I did.
	"If anyone objects to the joining of this man and this woman, 
please speak now or forever hold your peace." the preist said, 
looking up to scan across the vast crowd.
	Something rushed through me. Could I? Could I ruin this for 
her? And if I did, how would I explain my reasons for saying 'don't 
marry him'. Could I tell her? Could I let her know how much I loved 
her. Amelia then looked up and across the crowd of people, as 
if silently asking 'please, someone, anyone.' Then I saw it.
	The big tear rolled down her cheek from her right eye as 
she realized that noone was going to speak up. The priest opened 
his mouth and took his breathe to speak. Something went through 
me. I had to. If I didn't I couldn't bare to think of what I was 
loosing.
	"Then-" he began.
	"WAIT!" The word seemed to echo through the giant cathedral 
and gasps could be heard.
        The word bounced off the walls, repeating itself a couple of times 
before fading out. Heads started to turn towards the source and 
that's when I realized that the objection had actually come from me. 
        My lips were still parted slightly and I couldn't take my eyes off 
of Ameilia. That one tear had done it for me. That one tear told me 
just how absolutely miserable she was. I could't allow that beast to 
put his claws on her beautiful and innocent body. I just couldn't. 
So I did the one thing I could. The one thing that could save her. 
The one thing my mind was screaming at me for doing. I knew what I 
had just done.	
	I saw her breathe catch as she turned her head to look 
directly into my eyes. She hadn't thought I would say anything. She 
hadn't even thought I would come.  Then I heard the most beautiful 
sound in the world. 
	"Z-Zelgadis?" She asked softly. I closed my eyes to memorize 
for an instant the sound of her voice. An angel's song couldn't have 
sounded sweeter to me than her saying my name. Simply
my name apon 
her lips cured every illness that I could have. And I knew then and 
there that I had made the right decision.

I thought she knew my world revolved around her
my lovelight burned for her alone
but she couldn't see the flame
only myself to blame
I should have known
I should have known

	And now here I am, seconds after saying that one word. I open 
my eyes and look back out to the eyes of my angel. She has a small 
smile on her face. I see her prince look over in shock,
then disgust, 
then general disinterest before turning and leaving. And I step out 
into the light. I hear the gasps of shock, but ignore them. I don't 
care anymore what anyone thinks. Only what my
princess thinks 
of me. And there it is. The sunshine. Her smile. She is smiling 
that smile at me. 
        The smile that says that she is beyond happy that I had told her 
to wait. And I think she knows now, but I won't make that mistake 
anymore, I'm going to let her know anyways.
	So I start out and hear Lina not too far off yelling out 
to me, "Go Zel!". I can't help but smile as I approach the alter slowly, 
making sure that she is ready to hear what I want to tell her. I can 
see it, she is ready.  She deserves those words.. After everything 
I've put her through, she deserves to hear them every minute of everyday 
for the rest of her life. And she will if I have anything to say 
about it. She is smiling brighter than ever as I step up onto the 
final step of the alter. She looks up at me with a knowing gaze but 
asks her question anyways.
	"Why?"  And she knows the answer, I see it in her eyes, but 
I'll tell her anyways.

She was my once in a lifetime
happy ending come true
Oh I guess I should have told her
but I thought she knew
I thought she knew
Ooooo
Oh, I thought that she knew

	"Because, I love you, Amelia." And then she smiles and the 
world...is perfect.

END