Yes, fellow Senshi, Mercury Bubbles. About as affective as a thick fog - only less so. Could Naoko-sama not think of anything better? Or is it just a ploy of sympathy for the Senshi in blue? Whatever the case - those bubbles are pointless. Not to mention the fact that time and again they've been outdone by an everyday fire extinguisher...pathetic,huh?

Oh, it's not that Mercury doesn't have her uses. I mean, is she wasn't around, who would tell us how to kill the various youma we run into or which way to go if lost on some sort of maze? No one, that's who. And we'd probably be better off for it too, now that I think about it. No, really. There are only so many places that you can go to in a single area and the Senshi do have a "tendancy" to run into bad guys by just sitting around the house. (I mean, for God's sake, they just need to hang around Naru-chan!) And then we wouldn't have to listen to Mercury babble on about consulting her little plastic friend or some other bit of prattle when what we really should be doing is running about and fighting the evils of the universe.

Then why don't the Senshi just carry around a fire extinguisher? - you ask. Have you ever lugged a decent sized one of those around?!?! They're heavy as hell! Not to mention the confusing operating instructions. Usagi would be a bloody pulp by the time she figured out how to operate the thing. It was suggested to me a while ago that Sailor Moon could just shove the thing into the place where she keeps all of her (and I quote) "sticks - where ever in hell that is". To which I promtply replied - "What, and take up valuable space where yet another pink and very phallic looking stick could be kept?!?! I think not." I believe that we are all agreed on that point? Good.

So now the question comes up - Why does "Mercury Shabon Spray" even exist? Well, the answer can either be very simple or very complicated, depending on whether or not you want the extended version - alien abductions included. For the sake of saving both time and space, I will provide a combination of the two.

Sailor Mercury is a Tool.

Think about it. When has Sailor Mercury ever done something that was for her own purposes and not used by the other Senshi? SHe's ever become selfish like Rei and tried promoting her c.d. and worthless self-image to little kids, she's never tried fraternizing with and then two-timing the enemy like Minako, and she NEVER runs away in order to protect herself - like Usagi. And come to think about it, when's the last time one of the Senshi ever thanked Ami-chan for her wonderful tool-efforts? We don't. And do you know why? Ami=Tool. Have you ever thanked a hammer for helping you to build something? No, you thank the person wielding the hammer - thus we always thank Sailor Moon.

There, I've said it. But remember this - tool though she may be, Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon would never have been the same without her. (Who else could handle a psychic boyfriend that turns into a monster and tries to slay you with giant school supplies?!? Oh, wait. Any of us. Excpet for maybe Minako - you know hwo she is. Nevermind.)

- Mistress Haruka