Author: Lilias (Liliascrescens@cs.com)
Title: Better Than a Pony
Archive: GW Addiction
Category: Holiday sap
Pairing: 1+2/2+1
Rating: PG-13 (for smooching)
Warnings: Shounen-ai, faintly lime-scented sappiness. Quite possibly OOC, and definitely outside the series timeline.
Disclaimer: The boys don't belong to me, but to some very nice people (Sunrise, the Sotsu Agency, et al) who don't want to sue me anyway, right? Right?
Notes: This is a direct sequel to "In the Hour Past Midnight," and is a holiday present for my hyuy. I'll probably be revising it a bit more, eventually, but wanted to get it posted while it was still Christmas! Hope you like it, hyuy--Rurouni Brad says hi! ^___^ (And here's the pony reference, hyuy--now where's my medal?)

Sorry about all the footie notes, too--this is what happens when I'm writing papers and fics at the same time! ^_^;

/ / denotes thoughts

Better Than A Pony by Lilias

As Heero climbed hand-over-hand back up to consciousness, his first awareness was that a hard wooden floor was a hostile place to leave one's tailbone overnight, even with the intervention of a sleeping bag. His second thought was that he _really_ needed a haircut, since his bangs were so out of control that they were actually getting in his mouth while he slept.

It was right about then that Heero realized this couldn't all be his hair, since it was not only in his face but fanned across his chest and twisted around his forearm--and still there was enough left to lie in a sort of soft pool next to him on the floor. Besides, it was the wrong color: brown, but far too light to be his own. He blinked at the companionably draped tresses for a moment, and actually identified them by scent before his eyes could make sense of the almost surreal image. Duo. But how and why had he gotten wrapped up in Duo's hair?

Right. The snow, and the cabin, and the--oh, no. What the hell had he admitted last night?

The entire process of awakening and remembering took less than five seconds--appallingly slow reaction time, by Heero's own standards, but he chalked that up to the previous evening's unusual events. After all, it wasn't every night that he had the chance to make such a fool of himself; if exhaustion hadn't teamed up with the intimate solitude and the firelight to make him temporarily insane, he wouldn't be facing this particular mess now.

After all, there was no way that Duo could have meant what he'd said in reply. He had been asleep, dreaming, probably imagining some other person entirely.

/But he said my name. _Mine._ And he was looking right at me./

Heero shook his head, and began trying to figure out a way to extricate himself from the surprisingly tenacious strands without too much yanking. As soon as Duo woke up, they would need to have a Talk about what had passed between them. But as long as Duo stayed asleep, all the night's dangerous revelations could stay safely in the darkness, where they belonged--

Too late. Perhaps Heero had tugged too hard on the hair, perhaps the sun had just gotten high enough to be an effective alarm clock. Either way, the anonymous lump in the blue sleeping bag next to him was definitely coming to life--and after much stretching of random limbs and rearrangement of hair, Duo was blinking sleepily at him again. The sight neatly short-circuited all of Heero's mental security measures, leaving him staring in confusion.

"Hey." Duo wasn't entirely surprised when Heero didn't answer; he was more startled by the uncertain look he was getting from under the spiky bangs. Then Duo remembered, too, and smiled at the memory. /I had the best dream last night, Heero. Tell me it was real, and I can forgive the universe anything--this stupid war, this damn freezing cabin, everything. You said--I think you said--okay, my Japanese isn't that great, but I could have sworn you said that you care about me. Or you're thinking about hitting the slopes--which would be a little less romantic, but I could live with that.^[1] Because no matter what the words meant, you were looking at me like you wanted to reach out and--and now you're looking at me like that again. Just tell me I'm not dreaming, Heero--or better yet, show me..../

Cutting off the babbling inside his head, Duo managed to be more concise, if not more articulate, using actual speech. "Um. Good morning?"

The answer would have floored him, if he hadn't already been flat on the floorboards. "Sorry."

"Sorry for what?" /please please please don't let him be sorry he said it/

Heero hesitated for another breathless second, as if contemplating a decision, and then smiled. Actually smiled. No teeth showing (that might have been unnerving, Duo decided), but his lips were definitely curving up. Duo was entertaining potentially suicidal thoughts of researching that mouth a bit more closely when Heero spoke, indicating the bare floor next to the fireplace. "No presents."

Immense relief. Duo knew he was grinning like an idiot, but absolutely could not help it.

/I'd have to disagree with you on that one, my friend. My maybe- more-than-friend. There's a big blue-eyed present right in front of me, all wrapped up in a festive green sleeping bag. Santa must have gotten his lists mixed up this year, because I definitely wasn't good enough to deserve this./ Duo was occupied with a silent prayer of thanks for absent-minded elves when he realized that Heero was still waiting for some kind of audible response.

"No problem. They weren't a real big part of my childhood memories anyway--probably would have collapsed with shock if anyone had ever actually handed me a ribbony box on Christmas morning." /Not to mention wondering how many meals they'd skipped to be able to buy the ribbons, let alone the present inside./

This was good. If he could keep Duo busy telling stories, maybe they could avoid the Talk altogether. Heero propped himself on one elbow, reaching out half-surreptitiously to gather up a heavy lock of chestnut hair. "What do people get? As presents?"

"Regular kids, or me? Don't tie it in knots, by the way. Takes forever to get them out."

Looking up from the tidy half-hitch he had been completing, Heero considered the question. He knew enough about Duo's past to know that it hadn't been much like a normal childhood, whatever that was, but both categories sounded interesting. "Regular kids. Then you." He unwound the knot with a pat of apology.

Now Duo faced a challenge. What _did_ normal children ask for, and what did they actually get? He was singularly unprepared for the question, as it turned out, and it took a while before he could come up with an answer. One thing he was pretty sure of: "Regular kids want toys." He tried to remember what had been featured in the shop windows behind his favorite pickpocketing spot. "Trucks, little model shuttle-things. Dolls?" That sounded right, but there was more. "Electronic games, if they're rich kids." Duo had seen one of those once--a broken one, left out in the rain by some kid who'd get a new one as soon as his parents noticed the damage. "And if you're really rich, the ultimate present." The genuinely wistful look was replaced by a wry grin. "A pony."^[2]

"A pony."

"Like a little horse."

The desirability of such a gift seemed to be totally lost on Heero.

"C'mon. They're cool! Well, they're supposed to be. They have big, pretty eyes, and you can ride them, and..." Heero's stare was unnerving--what was he thinking over there, anyway? Duo found himself blushing without being quite sure why. "Anyway, that's the kind of thing regular kids want."

"What about you?" Heero tried valiantly to redirect his thoughts toward something innocent, but he only knew one set of eyes that could possibly be described as 'pretty.' /Saddles and stirrups, Yuy. Don't think about riding anything but equines./

Fortunately, Duo was willing to be distracted by memories. "I don't remember what we wanted, but Sister Helen usually made sure we got new shoes at Christmas. We didn't need toys, I guess. Had plenty to do, just trying to help out." And even more to do just trying to stay alive, but he didn't want to bring that up. Starvation wasn't very festive. "But we did have fun, sometimes--tag, hide and seek, that kind of thing. And there was this one kid who played with rocks."

Heero raised an eyebrow; this was even stranger than the little horses, though admittedly a safer topic of conversation.

"No, really. It was cute. She scrounged pebbles from all over the place. Sparkly ones, lumpy ones--she had some kind of screening process, but I never understood what it was. And then she'd drag them back home--there were whole families of rocks all over the courtyard at the orphanage. Towns, even. Sit down with her for half an hour and she could tell you their names, their families, what they liked best to eat, what the little rock kids wanted to be when they grew up."^[3]

"So what did she want to be?" Heero prodded gently, hoping the story would continue. Just watching him talk was spellbinding: the faraway eyes, the faint smile were almost enough to convince him that last night's revelations had been a good idea after all. But he had asked the wrong question, and he knew it even before Duo's face darkened with an old sadness.

"Doesn't matter, does it? She won't grow up. None of those kids will, except me. And that's not a sure thing either, I guess." He rolled over onto his back, crossing his arms behind his head.

/I would die for you./

For a panicked moment, Heero thought he had spoken aloud. The words had presented themselves to his mind as if they were a perfectly logical response to Duo's musings; and when he regained his breath, he realized that they _were_ appropriate, at least in a sense. /I would. If it meant that you would definitely live to grow up, I would lay it all down right here and forget about their war, forget about their peace. And it would be worth it./

But something told him this might be a startling answer, so he went with something more modulated. "You're good enough to make it."

"Thanks." That quick look again, before Duo shifted his gaze back to the ceiling. "Sometimes--sometimes I have to remind myself why I bothered to make it this far. Don't get me wrong; I don't think I'm this war's superhero, not by a long shot. I _know_ I'm replaceable-- all of us are, except maybe you--and that's the thing that gets me, every time. If I don't do this, someone else will have to."

Heero watched emotions play across that vibrant face, until it finally settled into an expression of weary determination. /So much you're already carrying--you don't need anyone else dying for you, I think. I'll just have to come up with something else I can give you. This is the day for it, ne?/

The moment felt timeless, but he knew it would escape them if he didn't do something, and soon. He reached out to brush tentative knuckles against that thoughtful face, reaching as well for words that felt true. "You're not doing this alone, Duo."

Deep blue eyes met his again, still watchful. "Maybe not." He rolled back up onto his side so that he could face Heero more directly. "Heero. About last night. What you--what we said. I know you're not into, y'know, chatting. But it might be nice to know what the hell is going on, for once."

Heero considered and discarded several responses, finally giving up on words entirely in favor of direct action; his hand had already slid from Duo's cheek into his hair, so it was an easy matter to tangle fingers in the thick mass and pull that questioning face closer. Close enough to kiss, finally, and Heero was determined to do a thorough job of it. By the time he resurfaced, both of them were flushed and gasping for air--and Heero had somehow ended up completely on top of Duo, in a position that seemed like a fairly comprehensive answer to his earlier questions.

"Wow." Duo paused to reboot his still-sparking brain, then smiled as another thought hit him. "Was that my present?"

"The first part, maybe. I'm not done with you just yet." Heero was already plotting logistics: first, the double layer of sleeping bags separating them had to go. Perhaps they could be zipped together? Yes. Then he could move on to the elimination of other fabric- related obstacles; the plan was sounding very good, even at this early stage.

Duo's answering sigh managed to combine satisfaction and gleeful anticipation. "This is the best present ever."

"As good as a--" What had been the ultimate gift? Aha. "As good as a pony?"

Stifling the insane urge to make Catherine the Great jokes, Duo grinned dazedly up at him. "Much better."

-end-

Notes:
[1] See, what Heero said was "suki da," which means basically what Duo thinks it means. But unless my memory is betraying me on this one (and my Japanese is worse than Duo's, trust me!), you pronounce the first word "ski." Hence Duo's incredibly silly internal monologue. Isn't he a scream, folks?
[2] _I_ wanted a beagle, actually, but my sister always wanted a pony. At least one of us was sort of normal!
[3] No, this is not an impossibly weird made-up kid. Weird, yes-- but not impossible, because she's ME! ^__^ Don't even ask about the leaf people, or the ones made out of twisted tissue paper, or.... >_<

Lilias

Please send comments to: Liliascrescens@cs.com