Disclaimer:
Fushigi Yugi and its characters don't belong to me. They belong to Yu
Watase, and a whole bunch of companies that I don't know all of the names
for. Please don't sue me. It would just be a waste of time. Do you really
think I have any money?
I don't think you notice
When you see my face
Nuriko watched Hotohori watching Miaka and Tamahome talk. It always
broke his heart. Part of him was sad that Hotohori loved Miaka and not him,
but another part of him was sad that Hotohori was sad. While it would upset
Nuriko if Miaka and Hotohori got together, Nuriko would also have been happy
if Hotohori was happy.
But why couldn't Hotohori be happy with him? Hotohori hadn't even noticed that Nuriko loved him. Why couldn't Nuriko just have this one wish granted, that he could have Hotohori love him back?
I guess you're waiting
To spin me around again
Hotohori noticed Nuriko, and called out in greeting. He walked over
to talk to Nuriko. He smiled and asked how Nuriko was doing. He probably
had no idea how beautiful he looked, or what he did to Nuriko. Nuriko's
heart beat quicker just in the presence of Hotohori.
Wheels I guess are turning
Somewhere inside my head
Nuriko wished again that once, just once, Hotohori would look at him
like he had been gazing at Miaka earlier. He had given up the hopes of
getting anything past friendship from Hotohori. But it wouldn't stop
him from dreaming.
I know that this is
Deeper than you get
But he knew that Hotohori would never think of him as more than a
friend. Hotohori would never return his feelings. They were both men, and
it was impossible. Besides, Hotohori didn't even know how Nuriko felt.
But you're coming back again
You don't mean to waste my time
But you're coming back so
Hotohori asked Nuriko for some advice about Miaka, and Nuriko's
heart fractured. But Nuriko just smiled sadly and told Hotohori that Miaka
loved Tamahome, and there was no way to change it. Hotohori smiled sadly too
and said that he knew that, and he was just wondering how he could make sure
the two were happy. Nuriko told him that they could bring Tamahome's family
to the palace, and it would make Miaka happy that she could talk to them.
Don't tell me
How to be
'Cause I like some suffering
Nuriko went to his room, thinking about a talk he had had with
Taiitsukun right after sending Miaka back to her world. Nuriko had never
told anyone about it. Taiitsukun had told him that loving Hotohori would
only bring him suffering, and that Hotohori would never love him. He was,
after all, a man. Even if Hotohori could love him back, it wouldn't work
out. Hotohori was the emperor, and an emperor needs heirs. Something no man
can provide another.
Nuriko had answered Taiitsukun that no matter what, he would always love Hotohori. Even if Hotohori didn't love him back, Nuriko would just be happy if Hotohori was happy.
Don't ask me
What I need
Nuriko wondered if he would have loved Hotohori if Korin hadn't died.
Would he have even met Hotohori before they became seishi?
I'm just fine
Here finding me
Nuriko thought about his love for Hotohori, and wondered if maybe he
would have fallen for Miaka if he hadn't taken Korin's place. Maybe he
didn't really love Hotohori at all, and he just thought he did because Korin
would have probably fallen in love with Hotohori.
Me
Then again, maybe he would have still loved Hotohori. Nuriko sighed,
and left his room again, walking through the palace grounds. He caught sight
of Hotohori, still watching Miaka and Tamahome. Nuriko sighed again in
sadness.
I've already given
Up on getting through
Nuriko knew that Hotohori would always love Miaka. There was no
changing that. And he also knew that Hotohori would never love him. It was
time to move on.
I never question
Who I'm talking to
A week later, Nuriko, Miaka, and Tamahome were stuck in the cave, the
storm raging around their meager shelter. While Tamahome and Miaka were
fighting, he thought about how far he had come from the court lady he had
once pretended to be.
Oh so much for nothing
But nothing means so much
Nuriko thought about all he had done to make sure his sister lived on
through him. But in the end, it seemed that all of his plans had come to
nothing. Watching Miaka and Tamahome, he finally decided to share his story.
I know it's touching
But I've been out of touch
Miaka and Tamahome were touched by Nuriko's story. Having told about
why he had done what he did in life, Nuriko finally realized something. The
only reason he thought he was in love with Hotohori was because he
thought that Hotohori would have made Korin happy. The person he was really
in love with was.. was Miaka.
And it's all that I can do
I'm a sight for my sore eyes
But it's all I am so
It was ironic. He finally realizes he's not in love with Hotohori,
yet he's already fallen for someone else who is already taken. It seemed that would
probably be his entire fate. He could never stay close to the ones he loved.
His sister died, and those he loved romantically could never love him back
the same way.
Don't tell me
How to be
'Cause I like some suffering
In the end, what Nuriko told Taiitsukun was partially untrue. While
Nuriko still loved Hotohori as a friend, he no longer thought of him in that
special way. But in the end, the results were still the same.
Don't ask me
What I need
But also, he still felt exactly the same in that he just wanted Miaka
to be happy. So this time around, he would make sure that the woman he
loved would be happy with the man he loved like a brother.
I'm just fine
Here finding me
Nuriko was just glad that he had finally found out who he was.
Not Korin, or even Ryuen anymore.
Me
He was Nuriko, one of the Suzaku shichiseishi.
I don't think you notice
When I can't reach out
During the rest of the boat trip, Miaka didn't seem to notice anything
different. It was just as well.
I guess you're waiting
On somebody else again
She had Tamahome, and he didn't want to screw up his friendship with Miaka
and Tamahome over how he felt.
Oh so much for talking
It's all been said before
Which is why he made sure that he was the one that went up to Mt. Black. He
wanted to make sure Tamahome made Miaka happy. And it was a good thing that
he went instead of Tamahome he found out. That way, he was the one who died.
I'm hearing something
But I wish you'd just say more
Just before death, he saw an image of himself and Miaka in her world. They
were out having fun. He took her to shops, and a restaurant. It was a
wonderful experience. But he couldn't shake off the feeling that some part
of this image was wrong, that it was missing something important.
But you're going off again
When I try to just hold on
The image started to fade. Nuriko tried to capture it, but no matter how
hard he tried, it disappeared.
But you're going off so
An image of Miaka and Tamahome appeared a little ways away. This one, Nuriko
knew was real. He tried to reach out, but couldn't. He was left with one
last picture of a grief-stricken Miaka. At least he had figured out what was
wrong with the previous image. Tamahome had been missing.
Don't tell me
How to be
A few scenes from his life appeared before his eyes. Of Korin, the seishi,
Miaka and Tamahome.. and the one of Taiitsukun. "No matter what happened, I
still fell in love with someone that couldn't love me in the same way," he tried to tell the
image.
'Cause I like some suffering
"But I was still happy. I found happiness in my wonderful friends, and
recieved love from them."
Don't ask me
What I need
Suddenly, a gate appeared before him. In it, was his sister, Korin.
"Nii-chan!" she said, hugging him. "Will you stay with me forever and ever?"
she asked.
I'm just fine
"Sorry, Korin-chan, but I have to go protect my miko and my friends." said Nuriko.
"I understand. I'll wait for you." Korin waved goodbye to Nuriko as he left.
Here finding me
I have found my place in this world.
Me
I am Suzaku shichiseishi Nuriko.
