Site hosted by Angelfire.com: Build your free website today!
A/N:Okay, this isn't quite what most of you wanted. I'm still working on that part ^-^;; This fic reinforces that it's each person's POV, as she thinks things are true that are different than or the opposite of what other people thought in the previous two fics. As for whom is deluding whom's self, I'll leave that up to you. It's a short fic, too. Even shorter than the last one ^^;; Oh, and for who it is.. I think you can figure that one out. It's definitely not Kagome.. or maybe, in a way it is. Anyway, this small series of stories got so much "encouragement" from my friend and attention from my muse that it's probably going to have at least five story thingies in total. So, those of you who hate this.. *Runs before you can get your flamethrower out* Btw, all feedback is welcome.


Disclaimer: Inu Yasha, Kagome, Kikyou, etc. are not mine. This story is. Please don't post w/out permission. All I ask is that you ask. I follow, for the most part, an "ask and you shall recieve" policy ^-^



Reflections

Part of a Whole

By Ami


I bet she still tries to fool herself into believing that you love her as Kagome, a different and new person, and not her as the reincarnated me. I bet that you still try to fool yourself into believing that, too. I bet that you tell yourself that when you look into her eyes, you're looking at a different soul than when you look into mine.

But that's still MY soul! That's still my face, with my eyes. Sure, this body might look a little different, but that's still MY soul! I might be the part you can't love anymore, but I'm still a part of the whole. Maybe you can't accept that, and maybe she can't, but I already have. When you touch her face, you touch mine. When you whisper in her ear, you're whispering in mine. When you kiss her, you kiss me too!

And when she mumbles that she loves you in her sleep, that's me telling you how I feel. When she hugs you close, that's my embrace. You two might think that you can get rid of me, but I will not just die again. I get enough of Hell right here, where I can watch you shun me and love me at the same time, just to different parts.

Kaede wants me to go to rest. I suppose you would say you do, too, but we both know you're just uncomfortable because you don't think you can have us both. You're not even sure if you love me anymore. You're a fool to think both those things, though. You already have us both. And if you love her, you love me. I'm just as much yours as she is. Maybe moreso, all things considered. I merely hate you at the same time. It's a beautiful paradox.

I wonder what would happen if I just let go. To tell the truth, I'm afraid to know. Have you ever truly thought about it? You ought to. If I die, she gets me back, the part becomes the whole. Then, the question you all probably had when I was first brought back will come into play again. Who will be person beneath the face? Who will gaze at you behind the stark blue eyes?

Of course, it will be the same person, just with different feelings. If I become Kagome, so much the better for you all. If Kagome becomes Kikyou.. Well, I suppose you'll have to watch out that I don't have a knife when I embrace you.

There's another possibility, too. That I would be allowed to not hate you if I let go. That I would just settle in the background, adding my love to Kagome's, making it a whole one. I laugh at the fact that you don't think you're whole enough for her at times. For us.

You might have a soul that's half-human, half-youkai, but at least that's an entire soul you can love someone with. Right now neither Kagome or myself are whole. Much as she would hate to admit it, we need each other. Or perhaps she doesn't know, doesn't understand. Either way, it doesn't change that particular fact. Sure, we can exist away from each other, but if one of us were to die, the other would be changed irrevocably.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if Kagome died. Would I get her part of our soul? Would I become the whole one, and be able to move past this hatred of you? Or would I simply move past life, and join her in becoming a new incarnation to haunt you? Either way, I have been very tempted to just pierce her heart with one of our arrows. If either were to come true, she would understand after she died just why I did it.

However, I am simply too afraid of a different prospect. That our souls would become two different souls, because Kagome's part would reincarnate without me. Kagome's part would snatch up the needed pieces from surrounding lost souls, and I would be left to wander this earth forever incomplete. Forever hating and loving you. A bitter contradiction I can barely grapple with as it is.

So I'll merely stand here in this grove, masking my scent from you, and watch at least part of my soul be happy. I'll watch you lean forward and kiss her. And I'll pray that at least part of the whole will resolve things with you and be at peace.


Back to the Inu Yasha page
Back to the main fan fiction page
Back to the second story of Reflections- Question