By Myself

By Aeris

Disclaimer: I don’t own Sephiroth, FF7, or the song ‘By Myself’ by Linkin Park.

*You should read my other two songfics ‘Here’s to the Night’ and ‘One Sweet Day’ to understand this!*

Alternate reality songfic…Sephiroth’s mind during that fateful mission in Nibel, when he discovers what he believes to be the truth. Sephiroth and Aeris are together, I don’t mention it much in this fic. And I skipped a lot of the Nibel Reactor scenes, like Tifa almost dying, Cloud saving the day… well, you’ve already played the game, haven’t you? I said it was alternate reality…

Also, pay attention to the song lyrics! OMG when I heard this song, it just sounded like Sephiroth. Thus, the long search for a unique and fitting song for this songfic was complete.

Please review. ^.^

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-What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams,
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?-

Sephiroth marched up the stairs of the old Makou reactor.

He motioned for Zack to follow, leaving the rookie to hold back the tour guide. Stepping into the aged reactor, he swiftly climbed down to another chamber. He looked around.

Walking over to one of the ‘pods,’ he leaned down to further inspect it. "Here. Take care of it Zack." While his junior officer fixed the leak, Sephiroth wandered around the room.

Lifting himself up, he peeked into the window of one of the pods.

Slipping back down, he lifted his hand to his chin. "Hojo…so this is what you’ve been doing…"

Zack walked over, "Doing what?" Sephiroth pointed to the window, and Zack looked in. "Monsters??"

Sephiroth walked away and stopped near the doorway, "Creating them with the very Makou energy that is sucked from this Planet…"

Sephiroth shook with anger, "Was I created this way too?!" He briskly unsheathed Masamune and swiped at the pods nearby in a blind rage, "No! Dammit I won’t believe it!!"

Sephiroth moved down the stairs in the ShinRa mansion, each step bringing him closer to the truth. He had to know…was he the same as those hideous creatures he saw in that reactor?

Stepping into the laboratory, he looked at the wide collection of journals, notes, research books…

Time passed slowly, day by day…

"Jenova, an organism that was apparently dead, was found in a 2000 year old geological stratum…"

Sephiroth’s eyes widened in shock, and his mind grew hungrier for the answers…

"The Jenova Project…we have a child who has been fed with Jenova cells and makou while in the womb. The creation has the Cetra blood of Jenova within him…we named this specimen…"

He dropped the book.

"…they named it Sephiroth…I was created…I’m…"

He backed up against the wall, falling to the floor senseless…

Sephiroth jerked his head up, "Who’s there?!"

He was answered with silence. He buried his face in his arms, "I’m going insane…I can’t lose it now…not when I have so much…! Aeris…"

He eyed another journal, entitled ‘History of the Cetra.’ His hunger for knowledge returned and he grabbed the journal, going to the next room to sit at the desk.

"Jenova, specimen discovered on X date, believed to be Cetra. Cetra worked for the Planet, lived for the planet, died for the planet. Their race cultivated and brought life to planets, creating lifestream. Humans evolved from Cetra once they grew tired of nomadic life."

He slammed the book shut, "They stole this Planet from Mother!!"

Zack walked into the room, "Sephiroth!? What have you been doing in here?"

Sephiroth stood from the desk, head lowered. "You’re the enemy…"

Zack looked confused, "What are you talking about?"

Sephiroth walked into the hallway, Zack following him, "Humans…you stole this Planet from Mother…you cowards…"

Zack shook his head, "You’re not making sense…"

Sephiroth raised his head and pushed Zack away, "Get out of my way, pathetic human…I’m going to see my mother…"

Sephiroth raised his arms, casting Flare on the entire village. Houses were quickly engulfed in the flames, screams erupting from the surprised residents.

Zack ran out of the mansion, horrified by the scene before him. He ran to help in rescuing, but looked up towards the mountain path to see Sephiroth.

Sephiroth smirked at the carnage, turning around towards the mountains. Stepping through the flames, he made his way to the mountains.

A unseen force swept under him, lifting him off the ground into the air. Taking advantage of it, Sephiroth smirked and flew towards the reactor.

He looked up to the plate above the door. ‘JENOVA.’

The door opened.

Sephiroth walked up the stairway, looking at the mechanical figure covering the capsule.

"Mother, you and I were to be the heirs of this Planet…!"

"But they…"

"Those worthless creatures…"

"…are stealing the Planet from Mother…!"

"But now I’m here…"

"…I’m here…"

"…So don’t worry…"

• When all I know…-

He gripped the machine and yanked it off, throwing it aside as dark red fluid flew out. Lights went on in the chamber, and Sephiroth looked up in joy.

‘Mother…!’

He reached into the capsule and grabbed at Jenova’s head with one hand, unsheathing Masamune with the other. He decapitated her and stepped back, her head in his hand.

A sharp pain triggered in his back, and Sephiroth doubled over in pain. He turned to see Zack, holding a bloody Buster Sword.

"Sephiroth!! You’re nuts!! You’ve killed so many people!! Why!?"

Sephiroth snarled and slashed with Masamune, sending Zack flying down the stairs. He staggered down the steps, heading towards the exit.

…ShinRa said he was dead…

Sephiroth looked down from the platform. It was her…Aeris…

His fiancee, his love…

‘I love her…’

Jenova snarled, ‘Too bad! She will die!!’

Sephiroth groaned in pain, staggering closer to the edge of the platform above.

He writhed in pain, gripping Masamune tightly, and flew off the edge, falling to land behind Aeris, sword sliding through her body. Life leaving her forever.

‘Ha, too late…you’re mine, child…you’re mine…’ With a snicker, Jenova released her hold on his mind temporarily.

Sephiroth noticed a small, folded piece of paper at his feet. He bent to pick it up, before flying back into the abyss…

Later, he read it in utter shock.

"Aeris…please, forgive me…"

"I love you…"