Attack Of The Phone!!

*Based on a True Story!!!*

(It’s a nice Friday in the Midgar slums. Aeris is sitting casually on her bed, listening to music and reading some Fanfics.)

Aeris: (laughing) "This one is soo damn funny!!"

(Suddenly, the peacefulness is broken, when a long, monotonous beep rings through the room.)

*Beeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Aeris: (??) "The hell?" (looks around) "What is that?" (looks at the phone, sitting on her stereo) "What the hell is your problem?" (walks to it and picks it up)

Phone: (Keeps beeping)

Aeris: ( o.O; ) "Um… can you please be quiet? I’m reading."

Phone: (Still beeps)

Aeris: (…) "… don’t make me step on you!"

Phone: (Keeps on beeping)

Aeris: (>.<;) "That’s it!" (throws the phone on the floor) Hah! That oughta show ya!"

Phone: (Beeps still)

Aeris: ( …? O.o; ) "DAMMIT!! I said…(stomps on it) SHUT… (stomps on it again) UP!!!"

Phone: (Still beeping…)

Aeris: "Grrr….. that’s it! I’m gonna call Sephy and have him slice you up!!" (thinks..) "Oh wait… that’s my only phone!! DAMMIT! I can’t call him!!"

(doorbell rings)

Aeris: (??) (goes to answer it, and Seph is there) "Hey, good timing! I need your help!"

Seph: "Why, whats going on?"

Aeris: (takes his hand, and leads him into her room) "You’ll see…."

Phone: (beeping)

Seph: (…) "It’s a phone."

Aeris: "I know, it won’t stop beeping!"

Seph: "Did you think maybe you have a call?"

Aeris: "Hm…" (presses the ‘talk’ button, and nothing happens. But the phone is *still* beeping..) "Nope, that’s not it."

Seph: (thinks for a moment) "Huh….. maybe it just needs a good banging. Let me see it."

Aeris: (handing him the phone) "Have fun."

Seph: (examines it, then bangs it against the wall *really* hard, making a crack in the wall…)

Phone: (*still* beeping…)

Aeris: (sweatdrop)

Seph: (casts Ice3 on it) "…"

(the ice doesn’t do a thing to the phone, and it still beeps)

Aeris: (shivering) "That just made the room cold!"

Seph: "Oops. Sorry." (wraps his arm around her) "Better?"

Aeris: (nods)

Seph: (throws the phone on the floor)

Phone: (beeping still…)

Aeris: "Ugh… is this thing possesed or something?"

Seph: "Dunno. What else can we do?"

Aeris: (stomps on the phone *really* hard, and the battery cover pops off) "Hm… what’s that?"

Seph: (looks down) "…those are batteries. But they’re the kind that are wired into the phone."

Aeris: (snaps her fingers) "I got it! Let’s snip the wires!"

Seph: "Then the phone will be ruined."

Aeris: (thinking) "True… but we have $9 million. We can afford another one, right?"

Seph: "..good point." (takes out the Masamune)

Aeris: (jumps back) "EEP! Keep that thing away!"

Seph: (looks) "Oh yeah… sorry. Got any scissors?"

Aeris: "No…. but I have a couple cherry bombs! Let’s just blow it up!"

Seph: "Ok then." (puts the Masamune away, much to Aeris’ relief, who goes back over to him)

Aeris: (holding up the cherry bombs and the phone) "Let’s go outside then."

(they walk outside, and away from the flowers, and Seph ties the cherry bombs to the phone.)

Seph: (patting his pockets) "… got a match?"

Aeris: (patting hers) ".. no. Um… use your materia! It’s just as good!"

Seph: (nods, and casts Fire on the wicks) "RUN!" (grabs Aeris around the waist, and runs like hell)

(the phone blows up into a million pieces, and stops beeping)

Aeris: "Booyaka!!! We did it!!! Woo-hoo!!!"

Seph: "*Booyaka?* Where did that come from?"

Aeris: "Got it from Selphie."

Seph: "Oh. Well, in any case, we killed the phone."

Aeris: (smiles, and kisses him) "Yeah. Thanks for your help, Sephy!"

Seph: (smiles) "No problem. Mind if I stick around for a while?"

Aeris: (winks) "Not at all, love."

(they are about to walk back into the house, when a tiny microchip lands in front of them)

M.C.: *Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Seph and Aeris: (sweatdrop)

*~END~*