The Vacation from Hell

By Aeris

Disclaimer: I don’t own FF7. Ha. And thank God I don’t own the Furby. If I did, the damn things wouldn’t exist in the first place!! Stupid fuzzy bastards…always falling off the dresser and going off at flippin 2A.M.…grrrrr….well onto the fic. This is scripted, BTW.

And thanks to SpamBlade and The Last Son Of Krypton for helpin me with ideas in the forum. This fic is dedicated to them, and my boyfriend El Seph.

This also has ‘hints’ if you know what I mean. No lemon, just hints. Don’t read if you’re paranoid about that kinda crap. Why do you think it’s rated PG-13?? It’s not even as bad as American Pie, therefore it’s not R-rated. Don’t bitch about it.

Enough chitchat, onto my latest work of insanity! >insert evil-ish laugh here<

Part One

What a PISSY day!

(It’s evening in the slums. Although you wouldn’t really know the difference, since ya can’t see the sun…well, anyway! According to the wonderful clock, we know that it’s evening. Aeris is walking home from Wall Market, shopping bag in one hand, Princess Guard in the other.)

Aeris: (cough) "Dammit…what a shitty day…first some stupid idiot nearly flattens me with his car, then someone tries to mug me, unsuccessfully…(smirks, remembering the use she put to her newly-mastered Fire materia). And now I think I’m getting the flu that’s been floating around! (she covers her face to sneeze, still walking forward) Could this day possibly get any worse?!"

(Thunder sounds and it starts to pour on the upper plate; a torrential downpour starts in the slums due to the leakage.)

Aeris: "…damn…"

(Meanwhile, at Sephiroth and Aeris’ house…)

Sephiroth: "Wow, this is great…wait till I tell her!"

(The door opens and Aeris walks in the house, soaked head to toe and dripping)

Seph: "…got caught in the rain, huh?" (hands her a towel)

Aeris: (accepts and dries herself off) "Yeah, one of the many things that went wrong today…please don’t ask…not right now…I just need a nice, hot, steamy shower."

Seph: "Alright then…but I have something to tell you first."

Aeris: (drying her hair) "Hmm?"

Seph: (shows her two coupons for round-trip airfare to Costa del Sol) "Eh?"

Aeris: (drops the towel, her mouth dropping to the floor [no, not literally…]) "…where…how did you… …I love you!" (jumps on him and hugs him tight) "Just when I get pushed to the brink of utter insanity from this stupid city, you decide to take us to the most beautiful, most romantic place on the Planet! When the hell did you become a mind reader?"

Seph: (hugging her back) "Oh, when I manipulated Clot-boy. Go on and shower while I pack for us."

Aeris: (pulls away) "Pack? Already?"

Seph: (rubs the back of his head) "Heh…heh…our planes leave at 6AM tomorrow morning…"

Aeris: "Egghh...well…you’re still the best boyfriend in the world." (kisses his cheek and goes off to shower, leaving a trail of rainwater in her wake.)

Seph: (sweatdrop) "Better go pack us up…"

(in the bathroom. Aeris strips off her dripping wet clothes and hops into the shower)

Aeris: "Ahhhhh….…..warm……later, stress, I’m going on vacation…"

(in the bedroom…)

Sephiroth: "Well, I got my suitcase packed up…now, for Aeris’…" (looks through Aeris’ drawer) "Uh...umm…should I just pack them all?" (grabs a handful of her underwear and lays them in the suitcase) "Now for clothes…hmm…" (opens the closet and looks through her wide ‘variety’ of clothes) "Pink dress…pink dress…pink dress with slit…red jacket…red jacket…" (grabs two dresses and one jacket and folds them into the suitcase) "Well, that was simple."

(Seph sets the two suitcases next to the door, just as Aeris walks in wearing just a bath towel)

Aeris: "All packed?"

Seph: "Ahh…" (gulps) "Yeah. All done. Everything. Ready for bed?"

Aeris: (walks over) "Well, I’m ready for bed, but not to sleep…"

Seph: (wraps his arms around her) "What do you mean by that?"

Aeris: (arms around his neck) "Don’t play stupid…"

(Aeris drops her towel, and Sephiroth turns out the light.)

(next morning)

Sephiroth: (yawns and stretches, blinking his eyes open. He looks over to the clock. "Ah…5:30…" (lays his head back down to sleep. About five seconds later, he bolts out of bed, tripping over the sheets and landing on his bare ass, dragging his girlfriend with him)

Aeris: "What the—Sephiroth, did you forget to set the alarm?!"

Seph: (sweatdrop) "Well…ahh…yeah…"

Aeris: (throwing her clothes back on) "No time…if we hurry we can still make the flight…"

Seph: (throwing his clothes on as well) "Sweetie…"

Aeris: (running around frantically) "I can’t find my other boot!!"

Seph: "Honey…"

Aeris: (grabs it from under the bed) "Found it!! Now I just need my ribbon…"

Seph: (catches her by the arm) "Aeris…slow down…I can teleport us there, remember?"

Aeris: (blinks a couple more times, before what he just said sinks into her mind) "Oh…yeah…"

(She walks over to her suitcase, setting it on her bed and opening it)

Aeris: "…where’s my ribbon?"

Seph: (holding it up) "It was on the dresser…"

Aeris: (walks over to him) "Oh...thanks." (Puts it in)

Seph: (holds her close) "What do you want to do once we get to Costa del Sol?"

Aeris: (giggles and wraps her arms around him) "Well…there’s a beach, isn’t there?"

Seph: (smiles and gets closer) "What did you have in mind?"

Aeris: (whispers in his ear)

(A small rustling is heard in the bush outside the window, and a small figure jumps into the open suitcase, burrowing underneath the clothes.)

Aeris: (pulls back and smiles, kissing him) "Just wait…"

Seph: (swallows hard) "I…hope I can…"

Aeris: (goes over and shuts her suitcase) "We have to get there first…lets go now so we get on the plane."

Seph: (grabs his suitcase and holds her with his other arm) "Yeah, let’s go, sooner we get there, the sooner we…"

(Aeris giggles and holds onto him. They teleport away)

(??)

Aeris: "Ahh…ahh…"

Seph: "Uh…"

Aeris: "Ahh…" (sneeze)

Seph: "…" (hands her a tissue)

And…end of part one! Wheehee…to be continued.

What was in Aeris’ suitcase? What were they planning to do when they arrived? Why am I speaking in question? Find out the answers to two of these questions in The Vacation From Hell—Part two, "What the hell is in this airline food?!"

^-^