(Scene: Airport. Sephiroth and Aeris are standing at the gate, getting ready to board the plane)

Sephiroth: (hands the agent the tickets)

Agent: (gawks) "Y…you’re…S-S-Se…"

Seph: (rolls eyes) "Sephiroth. Yes I am. And if you don’t stop staring at me like a hillbilly idiot you’ll be meeting Masamune as well."

Aeris: (blink) "Go, Sephy…!"

Agent: (gulp) "Ah….sir…you n-need to check y-your baggage…"

Seph: (glares)

Agent: (cowers) "P-please d-don’t hurt m-me…I’m j-just doing m-my job…"

Seph: (scoffs and hands over the two suitcases) "So help you Holy if these don’t arrive in Costa del Sol the same time we do…"

(they walk across the bridge-thingy and onto the plane. They find their seats and sit down, Aeris at the window and Sephiroth in the middle.)

Aeris: (acting curious, looking through the magazines) "Hmm… where are the headphones…? Oh, here they are…" (pulls them out. A paper is attached that says ‘Movies only.’) "Oh, Sephiroth, there’s a movie on this flight."

Sephiroth: "Hmm, really? I wonder which one it is…"

Aeris: "I hope it’s ‘American Pie 2.’"

Sephiroth: (raises an eyebrow at her)

Aeris: "What? Hehe, I loved the first one."

Sephiroth: "What, where that one guy screws a pie? And the other has the cup of beer and he—"

??: "OH MY GAWD!!"

Seph and Aeris: (jerk their heads up and look at the figure; they both facefault) "…Oh, great…"

Yuffie: (hyper) "Oh my GAWD, Sephiroth and Aeris!! I haven’t seen yous in like, forever!! Wassup??"

Aeris: (sweatdrop) "Not much…"

Seph: (glowers) "Not much at all…just trying to enjoy our vacation…"

Yuffie: (babbling) "Oh gawd this is so cool, this is gonna be so much fun!!"

Seph: (growls)

Aeris: (whispers) "Seph…please be nice just until we get there…"

Seph: "Hmph…"

Aeris: (whispers in his ear)

Seph: (perks up) "Ah…uh….anything you say! Even if I have to be nice to that…"

Yuffie: (still rambling on about nothing) "And then I told him ‘Like, no way! You can take that and shove it up your ass, y’know??"

Sephiroth: "…idea." (casts mute on Yuffie)

Yuffie: "…, … …! …." (thinks she’s still talking; her lips move but no noise comes out)

Seph: (relaxes) "Much, much better."

Aeris: (head in her hands) "What am I gonna do with you…"

(Seph cocks an eyebrow. Aeris blushes and giggles. The pilot’s voice sounds over the intercom)

Pilot (Cid!): "Hello and welcome to Highwind air, this is your Captain speaking, la-dee-%&#$-dah.

Rich, fat lady: (with a monocle, British accent, and a miniature poodle on her lap) "I say! Such vulgar language…"

Cid: "Approximate flight time will be one hour, 17 minutes, and it’s expected ta be quite a bumpy ride, so hold onto your drawers and don’t piss in ‘em!"

Aeris: "Huh…I didn’t know Cid had his own airline. Well, at least it’s a short flight."

Seph: (looks over at Yuffie, still blabbering…silently) "All I know is the sooner we get there, the better…"

(Cargo bay; they’ve just finished loading the baggage on)

(the zipper on Aeris’ bag starts to move, and unzip. A small figure jumps out and waddles towards the cabin)

Figure: "Party!!"

(back in the cockpit)

Cid: (on intercom) "Flight attendants, prepare for $%#&^@ takeoff!"

Co-pilot: (flicks a few switches and presses a few buttons, obviously doing both parts of the job)

Cid: (gulps at some tea) "Ahh…bein a pilot is energy-consuming. %$#@."

(cabin)

Yuffie: "…, …. … … …! … …? …..!"

Sephiroth: (snickers) "Oh, do go on Yuffie. I’m listening."

Yuffie: (nods) "…, …, …!!!"

Aeris: (rolls her eyes, then looks over to Yuffie making a fool of herself. She starts to giggle) "Sephiroth, what am I gonna do with you… (eyes him and shakes her head) Forget I asked. I already know the answer to that one."

Seph: (Chuckles evily and fingers a few materia in his wrist armor) "Manipulate…"

Yuffie: "…! … …??" (stands up)

Seph: (concentrates harder, making Yuffie walk into the aisle.)

Flight attendant: "Excuse me, miss?"

Seph: (concentrates deeply.)

Aeris: (catches on, snickers and uses Echo Screen on Yuffie)

Yuffie: (pulls her shirt up over her head) "I am the great Yuffolio!!! I must have TP!!"

Flight Attendant: "Miss? I have to ask you to sit down, we’re pending takeoff"

Yuffie: (whips out Shuriken and aims at F.A.) "Are you threatening me?! I AM YUFFOLIO!!! WAAAADADADADA!!!!" (runs into the cockpit)

Cid: "Take off time! Let’s go $#%@$#!!" (Jet starts zooming down the runway)

Yuffie: (barges in) "I AM YUFFOLIO!!!!"

Cid: "HOLY SHITTIN’ %$#@$%^&!!!!" (lets go of the steering thing)

Co-pilot: (calm, mans the steering thing by himself)

Cid: "Yuffie! You stupid #$%^!!! GET THE HELL OUTTA THE COCKPIT!!"

Yuffie: "Huh, huh, you said—"

Cid: "NOW!!! $%#@$&^*#!!!" (shoves Yuffie backwards, just as the jet lifts off the ground)

(Yuffie goes flying backwards, through the cabin and smashes up against the back wall, sending trays over the floor. Sephiroth is bursting with laughter by this time, and releases his hold on Yuffie. The plane is in the air now and has stabilized)

Yuffie: (blinks) "…wha?"

Flight attendant 1: "Please take your seat!"

Flight attendant 2: (ushers Yuffie over to Sephiroth and Aeris again)

Sephiroth: (stops laughing and takes on ‘Innocent One-winged Angel’ appearance…)

Aeris: (blushes and looks out the window, trying not to explode with laughter)

Yuffie: (rubs her forehead) "Huh…I’ve gotta headache now. I think I’ll just take a nap…" (leans the seat back and passes out)

Seph: (snickering, Aeris hi-5’s him) "That was classic."

Aeris: (kisses him) "You’re so evil…"

Seph: (smirks and kisses back) "I know."

~end of part 2!

Stay tuned for more!! What was that little figure in Aeris’ bag? Can ya guess? Mweehehe…

What other evil uses will Sephiroth put his materia to? What else can possibly go wrong on their *innocent* vacation?

And most importantly…

WHAT IS THE IN-FLIGHT MOVIE?!?!?!