The Whole Nine Yards
This is a pretty good movie. It has nudity, violence, death, sex, and all that good stuff. It gets an 8 out of 10. Now, onto the summary. Starting off, there is a disgusting close-up of Matthew Perry brushing his teeth. He walks downstairs and is insulted a few times by his mother-in-law and wife, who wants to borrow $5000 for 'daddy's debt'. (This is set in Canada, and the mother-in-law and wife both have French accents.) He leaves for work (dead battery in the car) and when he comes back he notices a moving van next door. He walks over to get aquainted with the new neighbor. They talk for a while until Oz (Matthew Perry) recognises his new neighbor as Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tadeski (Bruce Willis), an ex-hit man who killed 17 people. He gets nervous and leaves for his house. He tells his wife who just moved in next door. She asks if that is important, and he says that some people down in Chicago have put a price on his head (he had narced on some of his former mob friends). The next day, while he is moving his lawn, Jimmy walks up, claps a hand on his shoulder, and says that they are going for a ride. Oz gets nervous and gets in the car. They drive around for a while and become friends (Jimmy was just trying to scare him) and they get back home. Oz's wife says she knows how to completely pay off 'Daddy's Debt'. She tells him to go to Chicago and tell Gogolitch (the mob boss who put the price on Jimmy's head) that he knows where to find Jimmy. He refuses at first, but even though she's a bitch, she's hot. She practically smothers him in boob, and then he agrees to go. (I wonder why?) He gets to Chicago and talks to a lawyer friend of his over lunch (oysters) about him being involved with some business of Gogolitch's. The lawyer freaks out, and Oz goes to his hotel room. When he gets in, a large, muscular black man is sitting in his room. He apologises for being in the wrong room, and the man says that he's in the right one. The man (Um, don't know his name, he was the big black guy in The Green Mile too) asks if he knows anything about where Jimmy Tadeski is. Oz denies knowing anything about it, and Billy (the man's name) socks him in the gut, then pulls him up. He asks again. Same thing. He tries a different approach. "We know that you have information regarding the whereabouts of one Jimmy Tadeski." he says very slowly. Finally Oz says that he might know where Jimmy lives. Meanwhile in Canada, Oz's wife goes to Jimmy's house and tells him that Oz is in Chicago telling Gogolitch where Jimmy is. Billy and Oz go to another hotel (apparantly Billy had already rented it) to find Jimmy in the room with a gun. Oz trips over the lamp, the couch, the rug, and Billy. Billy says very slowly, "Jimmy T.". Jimmy replies with "Billy (?).". Then they smile and hug each other like old friends. Oz looks flabbergasted.
I will finish this, I promise! The problem is, I saw the movie 5 days ago, and some parts are getting foggy. If it isn't finished within the next week, it will be when the movie comes out on video.
