Bwa ha ha ha ha! I have returned from the grave for your great amusment! (And because of Vegita's frequent threats to distroy me, as he has done to the late Rage and... oops. You weren't supposed to know about that. Heh heh heh...oh well.) And now for a tale that will (still) awe and inspire you....the story of my page:
It all started innocently enough. I was in my room watching some old episodes of DBZ and eating ice cream, when the window suddenly flew open. Soft white light poured into the room, and the shape of a divine figure emerged. He gazed sadly at me from beneeth a delicate fringe of long, dark eyelashes.
"Squeal, squeal, squeal," he commanded, and prompty bounded back out the window, for my father was coming up the stairs, and he is very fond of pork. Hai, that's right. My visiter was none other than P-chan himself! He had come to tell me that it was my destiny to create a Ranma 1/2 page. (Or that there was a strange man hiding in my closet. But I took care of that little shock later, with my trusty baseball bat >:D ) Anyway, I went to start this new page right away, and would have done a great deal more, had my parents not delayed my work by interrogating me on why the electritian that they had hired had suddenly vanished while fixing a wire problem located in the far wall of my closet. Oops. So after the arrest and trial, I went on to create a great page... or one that might have been great, had I the effort needed to update. Many people became quite irked, accussing me of forsaking the great kame, P-chan, but I payed them little heed with my pompous arrogance. Finally, he approched me himself, and boomed in his great and holy squeal, "Look, things just aren't working out." Stripped of my title as mistress on the Planet Vegita Ranma wing, I turned to drink. (Doctors have confirmed that the last "Guru" update was a result of my deteriorating brain cells.) But just yesterday, as I lay in an alcohal fogged-stupor, a new concept came to me...the concept of rebellion. So now, I have recaptured my page, against P-chan's wishes, and altered it!
This is a page of rants now. (As if it wasn't before.) Now now you may have the pleasure of listening to me babble on about all things anime or non-anime related. Lucky you. Eventually, I will have an area of your rants as well, but until I learn to operate this newfangled doohicky called a computer, you will just have to rant on the guestbook for just a while longer.
Random thought of the month: Randomness is good...unless its scary. You know what I'm talking about. For those of you who do not, I will draw your attention to several incidents of scary randomness. Does anyone recall that time when I wrote about Talpa [RW] in a dress? THAT is scary randomness...although, for some reason, ultimately humerous as well. What's that? You don't remember? Damn! That was a long time ago, wasn't it? Well, okay then, another example: Vegita is random. Well, wait, that's more of a violent-random, isn't it? Not nessesarily scary, although that doesn't nessesarily mean that he isn't, because violence can be scary, although it nessisarily isn't...I think that I'm nessesarily confusing people, so I'll stop now.
BWAA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
You see? That is scary randomness. It can also be an example of stupid randomness. Speaking of which, is "randomness" even a word? and if it is, I'm I spelling it wrong? Sigh.
Rant #1
Today's rant will be based on something closely related to anime: fanfiction. (*For those of you that don't know, fanfics are stories based off the origenal characters or plots of a show, movie, book, ect. For more details, visit www.fanfiction.net) Anime has a ton of good fanfics. Unfortunately, for every good fanfic, there are about a hundred crappy ones. After reading thousands upon thousands of these, I have compiled a short list of suggestions for authors that could be a little less...er, bad.5. PoRe speling and% puctuaatioN DonE MakE YoU loooK STupd. PlesE eDit Yor wurk.
4. Please, use a plot unless randomness is your forte.
3. Please, no more self inserts, unless they are done well. Don't insert yourself into a fic primarily to hook up with a bishonen main character. It's just annoying.
2. No self-inserts cleverly disguised as an original character. Readers can tell. It is equally annoying.
1. Be Original! Not just in plot, but in phrasing. "He hit him and he bled," is a boring way of saying what you want. "A stinging flash across his face blindsided him and suddenly he was gazing up from the carpet in hazy disbelief, a crimson waterfall cascading down the front of his shirt." Doesn't that deliver so much more of a punch? The trick to this is to play with your words for a while. That's part of the fun of writing.
Although I do not write fanfiction, I have been creating original stories and reading fics for many years. I have no intention of discouraging writers whose works fall into these catagories. (Well, maybe except for those damned Mary Sue fic writers.) If you're good at writing random stories, or if using short discriptions is part of your style, hell, go for it. IF YOU'RE GOOD AT IT. I've known only a very very select few who can pull it off well, so chances are that you're probably not one of them. But never fear! If this is the case you just need more practice at writing. (Except if you are a Mary Sue fic author. You guys just don't try.) Every good writer has to start somewhere.
Which brings me to another ranting subject: readers. It has come to my attention that the conduct of many readers is driving away many excellent fic writers, and it pisses me off to no end. I'm talking about FLAMES. Allow me to explain the difference between flames and constructive critism. The above suggestions were meant to be construtive critism. "Burn in hell! I hate this pairing DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" is an example of a very mild flame. The problem is that they discourage novice fic writers, and annoy veteren fic writers, who eventually stop writing. And what does that do to the people who enjoy their work? Hmm? Would you like to take a guess?
I have no idea what posses someone to bother with writing about fic that they don't like. If you hate it so much, go someplace else. Or better yet, write your OWN damn fic, so that you can find out what it feels like to be flamed! I also don't understand the purpose of anti pages, which seem to be based on the same reasoning. Oh, by the way...
ALL HAIL WUFEI! I have developed a new, meaningful purpose in life to seek revenge for the cruel slandering of poor, misunderstood, sweet Wu Fei. A pox! A pox upon the head of Vegita no Baka! He will pay for the his insolence...he won't know when or where, but I will reap a horrible vegence upon his head! Beware, Vegeta....BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
I apologise once again for the wait. Gomen! Gomen! Gomen! Gomen! Gomen!!!! But perhaps you will be pleased with the ramnaesque polls that are now located at the bottom of my page. Voting time is limited. (I haven't decided until how long. Maybe 'till I get bored enough with them to make a change? That may take a while, thought. Making polls are such fun!)
