Freeza Beans 2
The Story After Freiza Beans: ((Freiza Beans 2))
((By Steve Golebiewski- written 11/12/99))
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Narrator from DBZ: Last time on Freiza Beans... Freiza was cursed with
cannibalism, Trunks and Goten just finished their adventurous
documentary on
the 'Chikyuu Witch', and Bulma is now addicted to a new amazingly
delicious
food called 'Freiza Beans', and is about to break VERy expensive statue
just
to get some. And that's where we left off... and now presenting, "THE
STORY
AFTER FREIZA BEANS!"
((Really crappy guitar music starts playing, the title "THE STORY AFTER
FREIZA BEANS" is displayed on the screen))
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"That does it! You see the statue? SEE IT?!!! Say bye bye to
'Guuchuwala'!!!" Yells Bulma, holding the statue over her head.
Vegita's eyes
widen with fear. He dashes over and holds Bulma's hand with all his
might.
"No Vegita!! It has to be done!!! EEEYYYYAAAAHHH!!"
"Dammit put down the statue!! It's a one of a kind! WE CAN'T GET
THEM
ANYMORE!!! PUT IT DOWWWWWWN!!" Screams Vegita, his face turning red
trying to
over power Bulma's grip on the statue. Bulma shoves away Vegita and
runs over
to an open window in the room. She holds the statue out the window with
one
hand.
"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! Just roll the beans over to me, and the
statue
lives. But if you don't... SHHHHHhhhheeeeewww........
CRASH_clsh-clsh-clsh...
Goodbye statue!" rants Bulma, making the sound effects of the statue
falling
and breaking. Vegita slowly takes one step closer to Bulma, holding his
hands
out.
"...It's okay Bulma, honey... just.... put the statue down NICE and
easy
now..." says Vegita. Bulma shakes the statue as Vegita walks closer.
"No! No more tricky smooth talk! You've ALWAYS been hounding me
about
problems! 'Bulma, did you see the remote?', 'Bulma, where'd you hide my
car
keys?', 'Bulma, why'd you have your period in the bed?' It's always
something!!!" yells Bulma, tearing up in the eyes. Vegita raises an
eyebrow.
"I never said anything about you having a period in the bed..."
"Enough talking! Either give me the beans, or the statue dies!"
yells
Bulma.
"Bulma, thats what I've been trying to tell you! I just came back
from
Freiza’s Headquarters. The ingredients are made of Freiza’s Henchmen!
Kui,
Zarbon, Dodoria, and everyone else!” says Vegita.
“I warned you! Now I... did you say they were made of Dodoria?”
asks
Bulma. Vegita nods. Bulma’s face turns green, she sets the statue back
in the
room.
“Run to the toilet, honey! You can do it!” preps Vegita to Bulma.
Bulma
runs to the bathroom. ten seconds later, you hear horrible vomit sounds
from
inside. Vegita shudders.
“Everything’s going to be okay, Bra... I think.” says Vegita,
looking
nervously at the bathroom.
Just then Trunks walks into the house with his bags.
“Hello? I’m home!” yells out Trunks. Bra runs downstairs to greet
Trunks.
“You’re home! Did you find the witch?” asks Bra.
“No, but it was an exciting camping trip.” Replies Trunks. He walks
off
to the kitchen for a glass of water.
Vegita walks downstairs, the door knocks. Vegita answers it, it’s
ChiChi!
“Vegita, have you seen Goten? He didn’t come back today.” asks
ChiChi.
“Nope, but Trunks may’ve. He’s in the kitchen if you want to ask
him.”
says Vegita. ChiChi walks into the kitchen.
“Trunks, have you seen Goten?” asks ChiChi.
“...I haven’t seen him since dinner...” slurs Trunks, slowly
turning
around. His eyes are glowing a bright pink! “He’s a rather stringy
boy... you
should try... fattening him up more...” rambles Trunks...
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((At the ‘Ginyuu Force Base’...))
Guldo, Jeice, Burter, and Ginyuu are in the main room playing
poker.
“Got any 2’s?” asks Burter. Ginyuu leers at Burter.
“For the last time, we’re playing poker!” snarls Ginyuu. “How about
you
Jeice, how many you drawing?”
“Go fish.” says Jeice. Guldo and Burter snicker. Ginyuu flips up
the
poker table and Ki Blasts Jeice for that comment. Jeice lies on the
floor,
twitching and burnt. Guldo begins to sweat as he tries to calm down
Ginyuu.
“T-Take it easy boss! It’s just a game!” says Guldo.
“IT’S NOT JUST A GAME! IT’S MY LIFE!!!” yells Ginyuu. Recoome walks
in.
“Guys, we got a job from Freiza.” says Recoome. Ginyuu turns to
him.
“Really? What’s the briefing?” asks Ginyuu. Recoome scratches his
head.
“Well, it’s kinda hard to explain. All he said we have to do his go
over
to his Headquarters... and something about bringing our tender, meaty
thighs
with us...” says Recoome. They all raise an eyebrow.
“...G-Go... f... f... fish....” gasps out Jeice, lying on the
floor.
“What do you mean bring our meaty thighs with us?” asks Ginyuu.
“Dont ask me, that’s all that Freiza said.” says Recoome.
“Maybe Freiza is finally noticing our rippling physique.” says Burter,
tensing a muscle. Ginyuu folds his arms and looks up.
“Alright then.” says Ginyuu, he points out the door, “To the space
pods!”
They all run out to their space pods and go in, Jeice drags his burnt
body to
his pod. After they’re all seated in, they get launched off to Freiza’s
HQ.
They all arrive quickly to his HQ. They step out of their space
pods and
get a fresh wiff of the air around Freiza’s HQ. Then they all get in
stance.
Guldo does his pose.
“GULDO!” Yells Guldo, flashing a pose.
“RECOOME!” Yells Recoome, striking a stance.
“JEICE!” Yells Jeice, posing ever so flashy.
“BURTER!” Yells Burter, with pose to strike fear into any mortal.
“GINYU!” yells Ginyu, in front of the group. “AND WE ARE...” Just then,
the
camera rapidly zooms in and out on the group.
“THE GINYU FORCE!!!” They all yell, stars sparkling all over the posing
team.
Just then a bunch of photographers come out of nowhere and begin to
flash
pictures of the group.
“YES! YES! Now give me pout! That’s it!” says one of the photographers.
Not
knowing exactly what’s going on, Burter shrugs and begins to give a
pouty
look.
“C’MON! STRONGER! STRONG LIKE TIGER! MAKE ME WANT TO RUN IN FEAR!”
yells
another photographer with an accent, Jeice quickly gets out of pose and
begins to gringe his teeth and roar. Another photographer walks around
Captain Ginyu and examines him closely.
“Hmm... not bad... but I say, add some hair extensions on the sides,
lower
your eyebrows, and and give you green tinted contacts... and tell me,
how do
you feel about breast implants?” says the photographer. Ginyu snarls
and
bashes away the photographer.
“Get out of here! All of you! Have you no shame?” yells Ginyu. One
photographer with a heavy load of camera equpiment sniffles and begins
to
tear up.
"But it's the job I was born for..." he says. The crying photographer
slowly
walks away, holding his head sheepishly. The photographers follow him
and
comfort him, looking back at the Ginyu force and snarling. The Ginyu
force
just stands there for a while, not really knowing what just happened.
Then
they walk into Freiza's Headquarters.
As they walk in, they notice the halls are empty, and kinda
wrecked. They
all take a few more steps in
"Hellooooooooooooo?" asks Ginyu. The halls are so empty that is echoes
all
around. Recoome scratches his head.
"Where is everybody?" Asks Recoome. Jeice walks around a bit, looking
all
around for someone. Finally, Jeice gets bored and leans against a
wall.
Unfortunately for Jeice, he didn't see it was the laundry hamper. As
Jeice
leaned against it, he went falling down the winding steel hamper shoot.
"WAAAAAAAAH!!" yelled Jeice as he slid down the laundry shoot. He came
out
the end into a pile of dirty laundry. He gasped for air as he struggled
to
get out of the big pile dirty clothes, finally he dug himself out and
realized he was in the laundry room ((duh)). He looked around the small
square room and found a handful of Freiza's henchmen sitting in a
circle. All
his henchmen turn to Jeice. Jeice just stares at them for a while, not
quite
getting what is going on. "Umm... are you all doing laundry together?"
asks
Jeice, looking from side to side of the small room. One of the hencmen
gets
up.
"Jeice! Are we glad to see you! We have something urgent to report!" he
says.
Jeice steps out of the laundry pile and walks toward the circle of
henchmen.
"Hey, wait a minute. I take orders from Freiza, not his little
lackies!"
retorts Jeice.
"No! You don't understand! Freiza has turned in to a cannibal! If
you're not
careful, he'll eat you next!" says the henchman. Jeice raises an
eyebrow.
"...What are you talking about?" asks Jeice.
"We're not sure what happened, but before we knew it Freiza was barging
around, eating anyone he could find! Dodoria, Zarbon, and Kui were
already
eaten!"
Jeice begins to think about what he's talking about, then sits down
with
everyone else.
"Now it's like this, Jeice. He's a cannibal and eating everyone, we
told you
that. That's why we're all hiding down here, so he cant find us and
turn us
into Freiza Beans. Now, we've discussed this and realized that if we
can get
all seven Dragon Balls, we can wish him not to be a cannibal anymore!"
"But, aren't all the Dragon Balls in Freiza's room?" asks Jeice.
"Yes, but we figured it would be safer to stay down here rather than
risk our
necks up there! That's where you come in. We propose that you go up
there and
get the Dragon Balls!" says the henchman.
"Now wait a minute! Why do I have to get them?"
"Well, okay, lets have a vote then. Who votes that Jeice goes up and
gets the
Dragon Balls?" all the henchmen raise their hands. "Who opposes?" Jeice
raises his hand. "Well, majority has spoken Jeice, get your ass up
there and
get the Dragon Balls!" says the henchman. Jeice grumbles a bit and
climbs
back up the laundry shoot.
Jeice gets out of the laundry shoot and brushes the dust off him.
"Now let's see... The Dragon Balls are in Freiza's room, and Freiza's
room is
that way." says Jeice, looking to his left. He walks over to the left.
He
hears Recoome scream more towards the hall. "That was Recoome!" yells
Jeice.
Jeice begins to run down the hall,and finally makes it to Freiza's
room.
There are all seven Dragon Balls. Jeice walks towards them, but recoome
puts
a hand on Jeice's shoulder, Jeice gasps. "Oh... it's only you Recoome,
dont
scare me like..." Before Jeice can finish, He realizes the hand of
Recoome is
only an arm! A bloody, ripped arm!
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" screams Jeice, and he notices an obese
Freiza with
a can of Freiza Beans.
"So, you're planning to unwish my cannibalism, huh? Not this time,
pretty
boy!" yells Freiza. He dashes over and huddles all his Dragon Balls
very
close. Ginyuu, Burter, and Guldo run in the room to see what's going
on. "I
like eating people! They're so much tastier than Quarter-pounders with
cheese!" then Freiza looks at all the Dragon Balls. "You see these? You
want
em?" he asks holding them out. The rest of the Ginyuu force looks at
him
nervously.
"No! Don't!" yells Jeice. Freiza turns to the giant window in his room,
and
chucks all seven Dragon Balls out the window and in different
directions.
"Go fetch, boy!" says Freiza. Burter's jaw drops as he see's the Dragon
Balls
fly out.
"Man... Those went pretty far!" says Burter.
"Now no one can stop me! AH HA HA HA HA!" Brags Freiza. Just then,
Guldo
delivers a karate chop to Freiza's neck, stopping the blood flow and
making
him go unconscious. Freiza falls to the floor.
"Good job, Guldo." says Ginyuu. "Now then, about those Dragon Balls.
Jeice,
Burter, and myself will go looking all over for them. Guldo, you stay
here
with Freiza and make sure he dosen't eat anybody."
"What? How do I do that??" asks Guldo.
"I don't know... hog-tie him or something." says Ginyuu. Then he points
out
the window. "TO THE DRAGON BALLS!!!" he yells out, then the three of
them fly
out. Guldo turns and looks at Freiza who is still lying on the floor.
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((Later, at the "Jerry Springer Show"))
The title the "Jerry Springer Show" appears on the screen, along
with
their saxaphone music. It also shows the audience cheering and
clapping. Then
it focuses on Jerry.
"Hello, Welcome everyone." says Jerry. "Today's topic is, 'I'm a
Cannibal... Deal with it!'" after Jerry finishes, the crowd begins
cheering
and clapping. "Now, today we have with us... ChiChi." The camera to the
show
focuses on her, sitting in a chair. "ChiChi is a devoted wife, mother,
and
former warrior. Welcome to the show ChiChi." finishes Jerry. The crowd
cheers
for her.
"Thank you, Jerry." says ChiChi.
"Now... you say your son was eaten by a cannibal while doing a
documentary."
"Yes." the crowd begins aweing and making sad expressions. "Not only
that
Jerry, he was eaten by his best friend!" finishes ChiChi, who is
