"Arigatou, arigatou, minna-san. You know, a funny thing happened to me yesterday. I was killing some guys who challenged me. There was this one little bald guy who I impaled on my horn. I chucked him into the water, naturally. And the guy floated around for a couple minutes! It was bizzare!"
Freezer pauses for a few seconds, then speaks up in an Aussie accent
"Well! Oi've got moi catching net, and now oi'm ready to go catch my woily Sea Kuririn!!!"
The crowd laughs as the drumroll plays
"So anyway, I was managing my troops the other day, when suddenly one of my colonels comes into my throne room and says, 'Freezer-sama, sir! We have a problem!' So I reply, 'What is it, Colonel?' He calms down a bit and shouts, 'Sir, the remainders of the planet we're conquering are attacking our army! They have an advantage!!!We'll have to retreat if we don't do something!'
Freezer pauses, to get the audience's attention
"So I say, 'Well, keep fighting!!!' But the colonel just stands there trembeling, so I have to jump at him.... 'WHAT'S THE MNATTER, COLONEL SANDERS???? CHICKEN????'
The crowd breaks into hysterics
"You know what really gets me angry? All those stupid little kids insulting my otousan with that stupid song!!!" Freezer pauses, as if to wait for an answer
"Oh, come one! You know, 'Old King Cold is a merry old soul...'"
The crowd laughs
"Oh yeah, speaking of guys who get me angry, you might wonder why it's taking FUNimation so long to get those new eps dubbed. It's has nothing to do with translation. They're still recovering from when I sued them for giving me all that bad-[beep] dialouge and that [beep]ing female voice!!!"
The crowd laughs harder
"See? I've been up here five minutes and I'm already doing better than Vege----"
Freezer doesn't complete his sentance before Vegeta, with Bulma stil clinging to him and screaming, jumps on him and starts fighting him mercilessly. The crowd screams and runs.
"No one's better than ME, Freezer, you---"
"Oh, shut up Vegeta!!!!! All you are is a stupid ugly monkey!!!"
"That's better than what you are!!!!"
"Shut up, you baka!!!"
"Whos a baka??? I'm gonna KILL you Freezer---"
The screen goes fuzzy as a flying Ki blast hits the camera. You see explosions as the picture goes out.
Um.... er... join us next time for stand-up with that evil, diabolical, not to mention bad, that, green, mean, fighting machine.... Cell!!! That i, as soon as we can clean this place up.....
"Shut up, Freezer!!!"
"No, YOU shut up!!!!!"
"No, YOU..."
