Disclaimer: The characters of Ranma ½ belong to Rumiko Takakashi. The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Naoko Takeuchi. If they belonged to me, I wouldn't be writing this I'd be swimming in my pool of cash. I wouldn't bother suing me either. I got nothing you want. (Special guest appearance by another Rumiko Takakashi character) MeSsEd Up! Or Mechakucha! A Ranma ½ / Sailor Moon Crossover! By Hawk C&C welcome, as well as flames at Note: I'm hoping I can really mess this story up. Not in a bad way mind you, but in a way that makes it way different from the original. ^_^. You'll understand what I'm talking about when you read it. This takes place after Ranma's battle with Saffron. There is some swearing in it, not a lot and it's somewhat limish. Hope you enjoy! ^_^ (Note: The beginning of this more limish than other parts). I'd like to thank Joy Lyn for reading through this whole thing and finding a bunch of stupid mistakes without even being asked to. It was very kind of her. Thanks Joy! I'd like aslo to thank Phil Chan for pointing out some stupid mistakes as well. Thanks Phil! P.S. I'll probably be using prereaders for Chapter 4, but not many. Chapter 3 - Part 2 - An Interesting Deal Tumbling over, Ranko fell on top of Ranma, knocking the breath out of both of them and causing her chest to press against his. While catching his breath, Ranma became acutely aware of Ranko's breasts as they rubbed against his chest with every deep breath she took. After catching his breath, Ranma's breath caught in his throat. Ranko's face was somewhat red from the fall, lips slightly pursed, eyes closed as she lay on top of him. Her face was just inches away from his own, her breathe caressing his nose every other second. He had to dig his fingers into the ground so he wouldn't reach up and touch it. Then her eyes opened, gazing right back into his. He suddenly found out that he'd forgotten how to breath. Her eyes were a beautiful color of pure blue. He felt as if he could swim within them and desperately wanted to, but restrained himself by clutching the ground even tighter. Ranko opened her eyes to what many would consider a beautiful sight: deep blue/grey eyes gazing right back at her. She watched as Ranma's eyes began drifting downward till they stopped upon her neck. She could feel herself getting hotter from the position she was in, their bodies pressed together as they were, and started getting even hotter when she realized where Ranma's gaze had moved too. Ranma's gaze began to wander from her flawless face to her perfectly smooth, perfectly tanned neck. His gaze traveled lower and he gulped to himself as he was given a frontal look into Ranko's cleavage. Without realizing it he took a long drawn out sniff of her, and with his nose being only a dozen inches away from said crevasse. It smelt . . . nice, fresh, and it had a scent to it that he couldn't quite place down - but it still excited his senses and made him feel . . . good. Ranko's blush increased tenfold at Ranma's involuntary inhale. She could practically feel the presence of his nose in-between her breasts. Quickly she placed her hands on his chest and pushed herself up and away from his face, but in turn ended up straddling him her hands on Ranma's chest. She groaned inwardly as she realized what position she'd put them in. Ranma could feel a heat radiating from where Ranko was sitting on him, on his stomach. Ranma found himself enjoying the feel of Ranko's body on his own and fought the blush he felt rising as well as other things (If you catch my drift. Wink, wink! Nudge, nudge! Say no more, say no more! *the author is >Slap< for being stupid* . . . Sorry). He didn't know what to do. She wasn't making a mo-! Ranma did a double take and looked straight into Ranko's eyes again. They were as blue as his, but there was something missing. Something wasn't right with her eyes. *That's it!* Ranma thought realizing what it was. They weren't- >Slap< Slapping Ranma wasn't the best attack she could've used but it still worked in catching him off guard. Rolling off of his stomach, Ranko quickly hopped back to her feet in a ready position. Though she might have looked ready, she was still too embarrassed to think straight. The way they'd been sitting in that intimate position and with the whole school watching too. She wanted to hang her head shamefully but her pride wouldn't let her. A slap was not what Ranma had been expecting. Maybe another attack to the groin seeing as her knees were in such good position to do so, but not a slap. In fact, if he didn't know any better, and trust me, he had a lot of knowledge on this subject, he'd say the slap hurt more than the kick to the groin. Realizing his position, Ranma rolled backwards onto his feet and into a ready position himself. *Ranko's not ready.* he thought to himself, but didn't make a move to prove it. *What's he doing?* Ranko thought as she watched Ranma hold his stance. She narrowed her eyes in thought until the answer came to her. *He's waiting for me to get ready. Guess he wants a fair fight.* She mentally shrugged. It was his loss after all. The two stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity to the other. What neither knew was that they were both using the same strategy. Start off on the defense and improvise from there. What neither were expecting was the large "Red Hammer" gang member I mentioned earlier to finally enter the fight. With a loud "Kiya!" the impressively large fighter lunged at Ranma's backside. Sparing a backward glance at the slowly incoming attack, Ranma took three steps toward the attacker. With an incredible display of strength, though to Ranma it wasn't much, he caught the fighter under the chin and her belly with both hands. Bending his legs, he gritted his teeth as he threw the sumo sized fighter in Ranko's direction. Seeing her chance, Ranko ran at the flying flab of fat, leapt at it, and used it as a springboard to launch herself at Ranma, effectively slamming the fighter into the ground. Twisting in mid air, Ranko formed an incredibly fast jump kick aimed at Ranma's head. Ducking under the attack, Ranma grabbed the back of Ranko's skirt as she flew by. *Strong material.* he thought as he pulled back on it throwing her back the way she came. Of course, he received a kick to the back of the head for his troubles as she passed by. Stumbling back a bit, he turned to face Ranko again. Using the fat fighter like a trampoline, Ranko shot herself back at Ranma again. Landing in front of him, she attempted a roundhouse and quick sweep before blocking a kick to the chest with both arms. Staggering back two steps, she back flipped once to regain her balance, but was bombarded with a flurry of punches a moment after. Ranma continued to throw punch after punch at Ranko, making sure they weren't all hitting and that the ones that did connected weren't all out. He had to admit he was having a good time as Ranko proved to be a much better challenge than Kuno and Akane had. He tried an easily readable sweep. Ranko hopped up and kicked at his face. Ranma grabbed around her right thigh, underneath the hem of her skirt and twisted, causing her whole body to turn with his hands. Ranko caught herself from hitting the ground with both hands, but froze at the feeling of Ranma's hands so high up her leg. She noted Ranma hadn't moved too, probably frozen as well, and forcing down her embarrassment for the time being kicked Ranma in the chest with her left foot, successfully causing him to release her and roll away. Coming to his feet, Ranma noticed Ranko was blushing just as much as he was and suddenly felt even more embarrassed. Gulping quietly to himself, he shook his head trying to clear the blush. How come he felt this way? He hadn't felt this way when Shampoo or Ukyou had glomped onto him all the time, so why was he feeling this way now. *Maybe it's because I don't have my curse anymore.* he reasoned. *But to be turned on by what your curse used to look like! Is that even right!?* Ranko, noticing Ranma's out of place look, shook away her discomfort and made a beeline run straight at him. Unfortunately, or fortunately in Ranma's case, because of her earlier chagrin she didn't see the bokken stuck in the ground in front of her. Having still been out of it, Ranma hadn't even been ready for any kind of attack, so when Ranko crashed into him, he did nothing but take the brunt of the collision. He tired shaking his head clear, but two round object prevented him from shaking it completely. Two very firm, round object, which Ranma knew all too well, just not from that position. Ranko continued gasping for air, not even noticing Ranma's head and how it was stuck in-between her breasts, but instead silently cursing at herself for tripping. She quickly glanced up, looking around for Ranma. *Where'd he go!?* she thought frantically looking back and forth from side to side. It was about that time Ranko realized something was lodged between her breasts. Ranma's mind was racing. Sure he'd been in this situation before, but he'd never enjoyed it quite this much. He didn't quite know what it was, but the way and the feeling of Ranko squirm like she was on top of him was probably the cause. He just hope she didn't kick him in the balls again fearing something might snap. Placing both hands on the ground, Ranko pushed off and away from Ranma into a roll. Hopping to her feet, she immediately lunged at Ranma with both feet extended intending to cave in his gut. Turning onto his stomach, Ranma spring boarded off the ground and away from the attack. Coming to his feet, he watched Ranko falter after landing. *She's still disoriented.* he thought looking at her, her face red from embarrassment and anger. *At least she doesn't have a mallet.* he added with a small sigh of relief. Ranko almost screamed out in frustration. She was being beaten by Ranma! The boy who had been most known for not being able to do two or more pullups without taking a break! It was just impossible! She'd considered pulling out her henshin pen at one point, but stopped as Ranma had yet to show any signs of being a youma. It didn't help that she couldn't think straight without her damn sex drive interfering. *I gotta find a way to end this without hurtin' her. She may act like me, but she sure as hell isn't me. Because there can only be _one_, true, Ranma Saotome!* Ranma thought ego bloated having realized that Ranko, was in fact, not an exact copy of himself only female. *Got it! But . . . it's the only thing that I can work in a situation like this.* he thought to himself. *But how to execute it?* Little did Ranma know, Ranko give him the perfect chance. Said girl let out a frustrated sigh as she watched Ranma stare off into space. This had to be the third time since the fight started. Running up to him quietly, Ranko shoved her fist into his gut as hard as she could. She was rewarded with a disheveled grunt before she kneed him in the face causing him to stumble back a few steps, but remain standing. *I'll just use his move against himself.* Snorting air through his hurting nose, Ranma moved to defend against her next attack, but faltered when he noticed Ranko wasn't in front of him anymore. He turned around quickly only to have something land on his shoulders. The next thing Ranma knew, he was staring straight at something thin and lacy. Ranko was really starting to get pissed off at all the humiliating positions the two continued to end up in. Baka Ranma just _had_ to turn around didn't he. She had intended to have the back of his head facing her nether region. Now his face was barely inches away from her pubic hair. She nearly broke out laughing when Ranma's short, fast paced breath tickled her, but held it in check instead opting to blush violently. "Fef feawmph phootfs foo!" Ranma mumbled through Ranko's black skirt. Ranko blinked. He was trying to talk to her at a time like this. "What?" she asked lifting up the side a of skirt and bending down to listen. "I said, 'Red really suits you.' It goes good with your hair," Ranma answered speaking directly into her lower lingerie. Ranko blinked again. "Oh. Thanks, I guess." Then she realized what he was talking about and flushed the same color as her hair . . . and panties. Pushing down on her skirt, she forced it in front of Ranma's face so he was looking at the front of it instead of the underside. "Pervert!" she shouted before pulling her fist back and in a ready location. "Wait! There something else you should know though," Ranma shouted desperately. "What?" Ranko growled, fist still raised. Bow before Saotome Ranma's vast knowledge of woman. Marvel at its superiority over yours. "It smelled kinda funny under there. Sorta fishy. Maybe you should get that checked out," Ranma said looking up, in-between Ranko's breast at her cherry red face. He wasn't sure if she was pissed or embarrassed. >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< >Pow< Well that answered that. "Ow! Stop with the fists and the hitting of my head will ya!" Ranma shouted before his left hand snake upward and grabbed onto Ranko's right breast. Ranko's face went from anger/embarrassment to pure embarrassment as she felt Ranma squeeze her breast. She started hitting him harder. "What the?" Ranma exclaimed from within Ranko's thighs before realizing his mistake. Switching hands, he grabbed Ranko left breast and pressed three fingers into her left shoulder blade. Ranko's attacks slowed until finally she all together slumped over Ranma, her breasts pressing against the top of his head. Reaching up, he grabbed her with both hands above her hips, lifted her off his shoulders and placed her on the ground. He stood over her, hands on his hips, with his face slightly flushed, but tried to hide it with the wide grin plastered over his face. "Wha . . . what did you . . . do to me?" Ranko said tiredly. Every part of her body felt dead. *He has to be a youma! I should've grabbed my pen!* she thought wanting to beat herself over the head for being beaten. She tried looking around for her friends, but couldn't muster enough strength to do even that. "Hit some pressure points which drained all your battle aura. It'll wear off in a bit. You concede?" Ranma asked, his arms crossed over his chest and his face back to its normal color. Ranko struggled to struggle, but found it useless. Letting out a long, deep sigh, Ranko replied, "Yeah, yeah. You've won for now." She glared up at him though she was smiling happily, if not somewhat annoyed. "Next time I'll win, though, so you'd better watch out," she added growling jokingly. "You sure seem happy for someone who just lost," Ranma commented inquisitively. "Yeah, well I know I'll get another chance. You don't seem like the type that only fights an opponent once," Ranko explained with a shrug. Or tried to shrug at least. "Right . . ." Ranma didn't really care for the way she was acting way to happy for one thing. "I'll be right back. There's something I gotta do. Don't go anywhere," he added laughing at his own joke. Ranko's eyes narrowed at Ranma's retreating form. About five minutes later, she was on her hands and knees, pigtail drooped over her shoulder in defeat. After another couple of minutes passed, she felt someone grasp her shoulder. She nearly screamed thinking it was Kuno or one of her other pervert suitors coping a feel. "Come on you," Ranma said lifting her to her feet as he was then sporting his jacket and backpack again. "Wouldn't want ta leave you here for your fans," he added smiling teasingly. Ranko looked up in his eyes. His deep, ocean blue eyes with just a pinch of grey. The one thing that had caught her attention about them: how such a dull color could be held within such beautiful eyes. Just staring into them she wanted to . . . she wanted to . . . she wanted . . . >Crack< "That . . . was . . . low," Ranma squeaked out as he clutched his groin while kneeling on the ground in front of Ranko. "In two cases actually. Just think of it as payback for grabbing in all those places," Ranko replied tiredly, straining to remain standing. Rolling his eyes, Ranma responded, "You're right. I deserved that," before getting up, grabbing the back of Ranko's shirt and dragging her along with him. "Come on loser. I'll help you get class," he said smiling sardonically at the girl he was dragging. "I don't need your help," Ranko muttered annoyed at Ranma's brashness. "You sure? I _could_ just leave you here," Ranma replied letting go of Ranko's shirt, but catching her inches away from the ground. "Or I could help you get to the classroom. Which will it be?" he asked exasperated. "Fine," Ranko mumbled before being dragged along again. She would've tried an attack, but she was still tired from her last attack "Jeez, they're acting as if somethin' ecchi happened," Ranma commented after glancing around the crowd and noticing every student sporting a bloody nose, even the girls. Ranko would've slapped herself if she had enough strength to do so. ********* Ranma and Ranko, now on her own two feet, entered the empty classroom a couple seconds before the bell rang. Both sighed in relief before they realized that the teacher wasn't in the classroom. They were heading toward their respected desk when a sudden blur flew through one of the nearby windows and attached itself to . . . Ranma's leg? "What the hell!" Ranma shouted while trying to shake the figure off his leg, kicking his leg into the air wildly. Ranko was by his side immediately, leg cocked and ready to be kicked if needed be. "Need help?" she asked not taking her eyes off the figure. "Saotome-san! I was so worried about you!" the figure shouted not releasing Ranma's thrashing leg. "Umetsu-sensei! Is that you?" Ranko asked incredulously, trying to get a good look at the figure attached to Ranma's moving leg. "Umetsu-sensei?" Ranma stopped shaking his leg and blinked in confusion before looking at the person hugging his leg. "Saotome-san! I'm so glad you're back!" Umetsu- sensei cried hugging his leg tighter. "Let go of my leg, teach! You're a human, not a damn dog!" Ranma shouted as he began hopping around the room, trying to kick his teacher off of his leg. Ranko sighed before walking back to her desk and plopping down into her seat. *This is too weird.* she thought placing her head on her desk top and closing her eyes. A loud >Crash< snapped her out of her sleepy state. Opening her eyes, she glance around the room before finding Ranma standing in front of a broken window, his foot extended toward it and Umetsu-sensei missing. As she looked at the window closer she recognized the shape of it and sweat- dropped heavily. Ranma looked at Ranko, then back at the window, then back at Ranko shrugging his shoulders and saying, "At least he's off my leg," before taking his seat. Ranko sighed again. He was right, in a way. She shook her head in annoyance. Why should she care? Ranma was jerk when he wasn't being a nerd, fighting all perverted like he had. She could still feel his hands on her body, and rubbed the areas he touched to make the feeling go away. She stopped abruptly, blushing profusely as her mind grasped onto what she looked like. After removing her hands from her breast and the inside of her thigh, Ranko glanced at Ranma cautiously and breathed a sigh of relieve as his head was down on his desk. She looked at the small bruises on her arms and sighed to herself. She glanced around the empty room once as well. *Now is as good a time as any.* Ranko thought before standing up and walking over to Ranma. "Hey Ranma?" she asked when she arrived at his desk. A silent grunt was her only response which she took as either a "what" or a "yes". "Where'd you learn to fight like that?" she asked curiously, though with a hint of malice. A large word bubble appeared over Ranma's head proclaiming his state to her. "Zzzzzzzzzzzz." Ranko sweatdropped and returned to her desk, left eye twitching slightly. *I'll ask him later.* ********* "How the hell did you do that!?" a voice shouted at Ranma's back as he sat alone during the lunch break. He turned in his seat to face the speaker. "Oro?" Ranma asked with a classic Kenshin expression. *Who the heck is this guy?* "How'd you beat up Akane and Kuno-san like that!? Not that I care, mind you, seeing as it gave me a chance to skip class an' all, but I just gotta know!" the boy with Mousse type glasses exclaimed as he took a seat next to Ranma. "And you are . . .?" Ranma asked carefully and curiously to the boy next to him. After having the lunch bell wake him up, he quickly exited the classroom via window fearing Ranko's wrath. If she had any that was, as Ranma noted she didn't follow him out the window or attack him while he slept. The boy blinked at Ranma, or at least Ranma thought he did seeing as he couldn't see the boys eyes behind his glasses. "What the hell does that mean!?" the boy shouted in horror. Ranma opened his mouth to answer but was cut off before he could. "Oh, wait! I get it. Now that you're all high and mighty on the kickass chart, you don't have time to hang out with your best friend, huh! That's it isn't it!?" the boy cried hotly, nearly spitting in Ranma's face as he did so. *Oh . . . kay!* Ranma thought sweatdropping slightly and eyeing the boy warily. He gave the boy a once over before what he was hoping for hit him. "Umino!" he shouted knocking said boy over. "Er . . . aheh, sorry 'bout that," he finished sheepishly. Picking himself up, Umino eyed Ranma cautiously. "Riiiight . . ," he drew out slowly. "Sorry 'bout that. It's just that things have been really messed up lately for me," Ranma explained. "Oh. Ok," Umino replied with a shrug. Ranma considered facevaulting but didn't really feel "As long as we're still friends though," he added a couple seconds later. "Yeah, sure, whatever," Ranma replied with a shrug of his own not really caring. He was too hungry to really care. *Should've packed a lunch or somethin' before I left.* "Cool! I'm friends with the most bad ass person in the school!" Umino exclaimed before he started to cabbage patch in his seat. This time Ranma did facevault. "What the _hell_ are you doing?" Ranma asked in wonder as his supposed friend continued his cabbage patch dance. "Celebrating of course. What else would I being doing?" Umino replied then started moving his arms as if he were rowing an invisible boat. Ranma facevaulted again. *And I'm friends with him because . . ?* he thought before his mind reminded him. *Because no one else would be friends with you.* "Oh," Ranma said softly to himself. "Oh, what?" Umino asked stopping his dance. "Oh . . . um . . . er . . . aha! I just remembered something about prehistoric Homo-sapiens! Yeah, that's it!" Ranma exclaimed quickly confused by his choice of words. The old him would never say something like that. "Oh. Okay," Umino said after pushing his glass off the tip of his nose then added, "I gotta question." "Shoot." "Where'd you learn to fight like that, and can you teach me!?" Umino asked suddenly in Ranma's face. "Ah!" Ranma shouted, falling over with his arms wind-milling. "Hey, you ok?" Umino asked hovering over Ranma's face. "Yes," Ranma replied place a hand on Umino's face and pushing him away, "and no. I can't teach you and I can't tell you where I learned it. It's too complicated," he finished sitting back up. "Oh . . . ok, I got one last question." Ranma sighed, "What?" "Is that why they're extinct? Because they were _Homo_ -sapiens?" ". . . Umino, Homo-sapiens are people." "Hey, I'm not judging anyone here!" Ranma sighed solemnly. ********* Ranma sighed wistfully as he walked away from Furinkan High ignoring each and every student as they eyed him openly. He was glad the day had ended, because he still hadn't had anything to eat so his growling stomach was eagerly prompting him to return home. Whistling the same tune as that morning, he hopped up onto a nearby face and started speed walking down the length. He thought back to Umino and how strange his personality was. One second he's talking about something, and the next he's on a completely different subject. Though he was annoying at time, Ranma admitted to himself he owed, or rather his nerd self did, Umino a whole lot. Umino had been the one that dragged his carcass out of the swimming pool when Akane almost drown him. Umino had been the one that pulled the bokken out of his . . . ass. Every time he'd been bullied in the past, Umino had come along and helped him out afterwards. Of course, Ranma couldn't blame him for not interfering while he was getting beaten because Umino just wasn't the type of guy that would. Not to mention he'd probably just end up getting his ass beaten as well. He owed it to Umino to remain his friend, even if he was weird at times. With that thought, Ranma's small smile grew wider knowing he had at least one friend in the new world he was in. ********* Ranko quickly made her way through the gaping crowd of students. As she made her way to the front gates, a voice called out to her stopping her momentarily. "Hey, Ranko! Wait up!" Makoto called as she and the Senshi ran up to her. "What?" she asked quickly glancing at the front gates then back to her friends. "Where're you going?" Rei answered with a question of her own. "There's something I gotta do. I'll see you guys later," Ranko explained rapidly before taking off again, her pigtail flapping violently behind her. The other girls blinked at each other before following Ranko out the front gates. "Hey, she's going the wrong way. Her home's that way," Ami commented pointing in the opposite direction Ranko was running. "Looks like she's following Ranma. See, you can see him just ahead, up on the fence," Usagi exclaimed pointing at Ranma's shrinking form. "First he beats up Kuno-sempai and Akane. Then he gets Ranko to follow _him_ around instead of it being the other way around, and now he's running on fences. Maybe next he'll be beating up youma's," Rei joked. "Yeah, it's quite a sight to see Ranko follow a guy for once," Makoto added. "Hey! I just realized something!" Usagi exclaimed suddenly causing the others to fall over. "That your brain is pea sized," Rei muttered rubbing her now sore head. "Nope! Ranko's skipping study. Does this mean we get to, too?" Usagi asked Ami eagerly. ********* After waiting ten minutes so Ranma wouldn't think she'd followed him straight there she'd had enough. Standing up, Ranko walked toward the wall Ranma had jumped over intending to give the Saotome family an unexpected guest. She just hoped it wasn't _that_ Saotome. No, she didn't hope. She prayed. Walking through the front gate quietly so's not to disturb anything or one, Ranko stopped and stared. The house was huge! Well not the house technically, but the property was. The house was about the same size as the Tendo home except it was completely covered by a second story and the backyard 'L' around the house. She figured they could fit at least three dojo's in that open space. Regaining her wits, Ranko started for the front door. She stopped before knocking when she noticed something in the corner of her eye. Turning to the 'something' she blinked curiously at the large crack in the wall. Walking closer, to get a better look, Ranko soon noticed what appeared to be a foot print where the crack originated. "What the hell?" she muttered fingering the crack gingerly. Turning around, she caught sight of a shadow moving around the corner of the house. Shrugging her shoulders, her pigtail bouncing along with them, she headed to the shadow. What the shadow turned out to be surprised her. Ranma was in the backyard preforming a slow yet graceful kata. With his eyes closed, he never noticed Ranko staring at him, or when she sat down quietly. Her mind must have fallen asleep watching his kata because she opened mouth . . . "What's that kata called?" . . . and put her foot in it. "Bah!" Ranma blurted falling over onto his face. "What the hell! When did you get here?!" he exclaimed nervously. "Um . . . a while ago," Ranko replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head and blushing faintly. "Sorry." Ranma laughed out loud at Ranko's familiar expression, before smiling broadly and replying, "It's ok. If I had continued any longer I probably would've fallen asleep." Ranko's blush deepened slightly at Ranma's smile, but not as bad as any of her earlier blushes. "So . . . um, are you the one that did that to the wall?" she asked nodding her head in the direction of the crack. "You know that wall?" Ranma responded before shaking his head slightly saying, "That damn wall." "Um . . . riiiight . . . I just stopped by to say I'm sorry for kicking you in the . . . um . . . well you know. It's your body part," Ranko apologized, the tips of her ears tingling as she looked at anything other than Ranma. "Phew! I thought you were gonna kick me in the balls again," Ranma said jokingly, wiping imaginary sweat from his forehead. Then he noticed Ranko's miffed look. With eyes wide, and arms waving around frantically, Ranma added quickly, "Just joking! Just joking! Apology accepted! Heh." A long silence elapsed, neither knowing what to say. Finally Ranko broke it. "So what was that kata called?" she asked curiously and slightly nervously. "Huh? Oh, the one I was doing? I was just making it up while I did it. So it really doesn't have a name," Ranma replied with a shrug, not taking his eyes of off Ranko. He still didn't fully trust her. "Here's a question," Ranko said after another short moment of silence. "Why does everyone keep proclaiming to me that they're gonna ask a question?" Ranma asked no one in particular. "Maybe so you'll be better prepared to answer it," Ranko replied smugly. "Good point," Ranma agreed nodding his head. "Where'd you learn how to fight like that?" Ranko asked, curiosity and suspicion mixed together. "Thought you'd probably ask that so I've already got my answer ready," Ranma replied crossing his arms over his chest. "So what is it?" "No. I won't tell you. It's not that I can't, I could if I wanted too, but I just won't. I doubt you'd understand anyway," Ranma explained sternly. Ranko blinked before taking a step away from him. She'd never seen him this serious. *Ok. The direct approach didn't work. Time for plan B.* Smiling cutely and opening her eyes wide so they'd shine brightly, Ranko turned up her kawaii factor tenfold. "Pleeeaaaassseeee, can you tell me?" she asked with a voice that could melt butter. Ranma grimaced as if he's just eaten a batch of Akane's homemade cookies. "You're just trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill aren't you. I said no," he replied as firm as he could. Now he knew why he got so much free ice-cream. Ranko's smile turned into a frown, then a pout and soon enough eye eyes were brimmed with wetness. She sniffled slightly. "Then, can you do one thing for me?" she asked wiping away a stray tear. *Damn, she's good!* Ranma thought nervously trying desperately not to feel sorry and failing terribly. "What?" he sighed miserably. "Can >Sniff< can you promise to answer my next question?" Gulping, Ranma replied unsteadily, "Wa-well, it depends on the questions, but su-sure. Just-just stop cryin', kay?" Hesitantly he place a hand on her smaller shoulder. >Whimper< "Kay," Ranko responded wiping the wetness away from her eyes while smiling on the inside. *Sucker.* *I'm such a sucker.* Ranma thought vexed by his weakness. "Have you been in contact with any demons or odd looking characters lately?" Ranko asked straight forward, trying to ignore Ranma's large hand so close to her neck. "Erk!" Ranma exclaimed removing his hand as if it'd been burned, the whole left side of his face twisted into a grimace. *What the hell kinda question is _that_!?* he thought before closing his eyes and thinking back. *Well, Happosai. He's considered a demon and is odd looking. Cologne too for that matter, but I think she means in this world. . . . Nope. Running a blank. Waita minute!* His eyes were open in more than one way. "You know what? I can tell you something." "What?" Ranma grinned. "I was trained by a man named Happosai." *Hopefully he's still in his cave.* ********* Somewhere in China, the Bayankala mountains of the Xinghai Province to be exact, an old shriveled up man sneezed. -God bless you,- his companion replied in Chinese. -Thank you, Mu tsu,- the little man replied sincerely. ********* "Happosai?" Ranko asked curiously. "Yeah. Old guy. Small, 'bout 3 feet tall. He disappeared after teachin' me what I need to know though," Ranma explained with a shrug, before heading toward the house's back door. *Happosai huh? He could be lying, but he sounded honest. The name and body structure sounds Dark Kingdom related.* Ranko mused. "So you didn't come here for revenge, shorty?" Ranma asked from where he stood, chewing the last remains of a sandwich. Said insulted blinked before frowning at Ranma. Just when she was getting used to him, he had to go along and insult her. "Shorty? Who're you calling shorty, jerk?!" Ranko retorted walking up to Ranma. "Jerk! Who're you callin' a jerk, peewee?!" Ranma shot back, his face now only inches from Ranko's. "Peewee! Who're you calling peewee, pervert!?" Ranko shouted straight into Ranma face, grabbing the sides of his head with both hands so he couldn't move it. "Well, seeing as you're the only peewee around, it must be you . . . peewee!" Ranma replied honestly before shouting out the end, their noses just touching now. "Yeah, well . . .," Ranko started before licking her lips. Why was that they were so dry all of the sudden? She released a shuddering breathe which caressed Ranma's own lips and drying them out as well. Why was it, she kept ending up in such intimate positions with him. Was it that she liked being this close to him. Maybe she really did have a thing for him. *I do not!* a small part of her rebelled while the rest sang a whole different tune. She liked the look of his body, and the vibrant color in his eyes made the area in-between her legs scream to be scratched. Ranma licked his lips, swallowed nervously, and with wavering eyes, trying not to break eye contact with the girl in front of him. Once again, he was stumped. Usually when he was in a position like this, a mallet would interfere. But here was a girl, who looked exactly like his female form, short, lively, beautiful, and robust. Virtually perfect in every way. For him that was, being so much like himself. He didn't know what it was, but knowing that the girl in front of him wasn't himself or a demon, or created by magic or out to marry him made him feel . . . good? But why!? The fact that she wasn't letting go of his face wasn't helping either. He just hoped she didn't look down anytime soon. Neither noticed a bush at the far end of the yard stand up and run away. Finally she couldn't take it anymore. She needed release! Reaching further back, Ranko grasped the back of Ranma's head before pulling it forward and pressing her lips against his hotly. Fiercely, like an animal to its prey, she clutched his back, forcing their bodies together. Ranma's eyes bulged at first contact nearly falling out of their sockets. Every second, moment, he expected a mallet to appear and smash him straight to heaven. But it never came and Ranma sighed through Ranko's lips, the tension leaving his body causing him to kiss back without knowing it. His arms strolled around his small waist onto the small of her back, pressing her closer. "You're not gonna kick me in the balls again, are you?" Ranma asked nervously, a bead of sweat running down his forehead. (I'm a bastard aren't I?) Ranko blinked her way out of her fantasy before realizing just where she was. "Wha . . . Ah!" she shouted, immediately releasing Ranma's face and falling onto her butt. "Who? What? Where? When? How?" she asked in rapid succession, a deep blush riding across the bridge of her nose. Ranma blinked twice, responding, "Ranma. I don't know what, what is? My house. Just a couple seconds ago, and, nothing happened, so there's no real answer to that last one." Ranko sweatdropped, staring blankly at Ranma. "Um . . . ok." "Er . . . sorry. That just came out," Ranma said sheepishly scratching the back off head. "Help me up will ya?" Ranko asked holding her arm out to Ranma. Grasping Ranko's out stretched arm, Ranma hefted her to her feet in one simple pull. He grinned at her, not releasing her hand. She smiled back shyly, still slightly red from her brief fantasy. They both heard a thump and turned to see what it was. "Wah!!! MY son's so manly!" Nodoka cried from the backdoor, where she lay on her side. "Erk!" Ranma exclaimed snapping his hand away from Ranko's and sweatdropping uneasily watching his mothers antics. *Oh no! It _is_this Saotome!* Ranko felt like crying herself. *How can Ranma be sane!?* she thought frantically. "Oh my son! You're so manly!" Nodoka wailed suddenly holding Ranma in a tight embrace, tears flowing like a waterfall. "Oro?!" 0_o; Ranko began tiptoeing away, not wanting to be included in Nodoka's hugging spree. Didn't work. "Ranko-chan!" Nodoka shouted clutching Ranko tighter than she had Ranma, who was at that time, gasping for air. Holding Ranko at arm length. "Ranko-chan! Why didn't you tell me you were in a relationship with me son!?" the older woman cried happily. "Er. . ." was the only reply she got. "You _know_ my mom!?" Ranma shouted in horror. This did not mean anything good. "Of course she does! I take her lingerie shopping from time to time! Why just recently I bought her a matching pair of red, lacy bra and panties!" Nodoka continued joyously. Ranko sweatdropped miserably. Ranma felt her pain, casting her another sympathetic look. Ranko glared at him with a 'You are _not_ helping!' look. Ranma shrank back slightly at the withering gaze. "Uh . . . mom. Ranko was just lacying. Ack! Leaving! Leaving!" he shouted nervously. "Yeah. I _really_ need to go, Mrs. Saoto-," Ranko started, straining a false, toothy smile. Glaring motherly, Nodoka cut in, "How many times do I have to tell you, call me Auntie." "Sorry, Auntie," Ranko muttered dejectedly. "It's ok, though you shouldn't really call me that anymore," Nodoka replied proudly, her head held high. "Huh?" Ranko was confused. Mrs. Saoto- er . . . Auntie always made her call her . . . Auntie. She smiled widely thinking she was being let off the 'Auntie' hook. "Yes. You should call me mom now." Ranko considered fainting, but figured it was unladylike to do so. "Uh . . . mom? Ranko's really got to go," Ranma said cutting in meekly from the sidelines. "Yeah! I gotta go cook dinner for my family! They'll starve if I don't," Ranko lied anxiously wanting nothing more than to get the hell away. *Or they'll die from Akane's cooking.* both Ranma and Ranko thought simultaneously. "Oh, and I was going to ask you to stay for dinner," Nodoka responded sadly, her left hand laid delicately on her cheek. "Yeah, well . . . yeah," Ranko replied lamely. "Well, Ranko has to get going now," Ranma said from behind his mother while giving Ranko shooing motions. "Yeah, bye!" Ranko shouted before dashing off. Ranma heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh Ranma, why don't you escort Ranko home. It's not safe for a lady to walk around on her own you know," Nodoka commented knowingly. Ranma glanced around. It was brighter than a flashlight in the face out. "But-!" "No buts. Now go escort your girlfriend home," Nodoka order pointing in the direction of the front gates. "Yes, mom," Ranma grumbled walking off. "And while you're gone, I'll be preparing a 'Welcome back safely' meal!" she called out to the retreating form which immediately sped up. "Ah! Young love," Nodoka sighed before freezing with a far away look plastered on her face. ********* "I _thought_ you said Ranma was nothing to care about?" the lamp's shadow accused harshly. "I never said such a thing," the figure sitting at the long steel desk replied simply. "What happened to him?" the bookshelves' shadow asked. "What happened to him is a mystery to me. I don't know how he did it but his interference has cost us some delays," Gosunkugi replied sternly, hands folded in front of his face. "So what are you planning to do?" the chair's shadow asked just as harshly as before. Gosunkugi didn't even twitch. "I'm putting the plan on hold for the time being. I have a feeling this _change_ in Ranma is going to help us." "Is that so?" his own shadow replied. "Yes, Ebony Shadow. It is," he responded closing his eyes and smiling a very small, very cold smile. ********* "Hey Ranko! Wait up!" Ranma shouted as he ran after the pigtailed girl. "Huh?" Ranko turned around only to nearly have Ranma run her over. "Hey! Watch it!" she shouted startled by his abrupt appearance. "Sorry," Ranma replied rubbing the back of his head while blushing embarrassingly. "S'okay. Just watch it next time. If you don't . . . I'll cream ya," Ranko replied mockingly, waving a small fist in front of Ranma face. Brushing the fist away and rolling his eyes, Ranma responded sarcastically, "Ha Ha! Very funny." "So, waddaya want?" she asked, hands on her hips. "My moms makin' me walk you home. Says it's 'not safe for a lady to walk around on her own'," Ranma explained in a exasperated voice and started down the road, Ranko at his side. "Lady," Ranko snorted before turning to Ranma and shouting accusingly, "Why didn't you tell me she was your mom!?" "How was I supposed to know you knew my mom!?" Ranma shot back throwing his arms up into the air. Ranko sighed. "How can you live with that woman?" "Well I haven't lived with her all that long," Ranma muttered. "What?" Ranko asked curiously. "Nothing! Aheh," Ranma responded quickly, grinning panicky. "So . . . red panties huh? Those wouldn't happen to be the ones your wearing right now would they?" he asked teasingly. He sighed mentally. *Me and my big mouth.* Ranko slugged him in the gut before muttering, "Pervert." "I deserved that," Ranma breathed sharply. One benefit about being merged with his nerd self was that he knew when he was wrong. Catching his breath, Ranma jogged after the petite redhead. "Why are you still following me?" Ranko asked Ranma plainly once he'd caught up. Ranma shrugged. "Because I don't feel like spendin' time with my mom right now. Knowing her, she's already planning our wedding." Ranko shuddered. "You're probably right, but that doesn't mean you have to follow _me_. Why don't you go bug someone else?" "Because you're right here an' I don't feel like finding someone else," Ranma explained smoothly, smiling proudly at his thought out answer. The real question on his mind was, 'why didn't he find someone else to bother?'. It'd be much easier, so why stay with her? Ranko sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Come on. It's this way." "I know the way," Ranma retorted in response to her aggravated tone. "How the hell do you know the way?" Ranko asked suspiciously as the continued along their _merry_ way. "I know the streets of Nerima like the back of my hand," Ranma answered casually with a wave of his hand. "Hey, what's that?" he said looking at the back of his hand. He lick his other hands thumb and rubbing the odd mark. "Oh! Just dirt. Heh." Ranko slapped herself in the face. "So, do you really do all the cooking? For the Tendo's that is," Ranma implored. "Yeah. I'm pretty good too," Ranko replied honestly, hands in her pockets. "Oh. Why's that?" Ranma questioned though he figured he already knew the answer. "I took a ten year long training trip when I was 5. It was either cook or starve. I chose cook," Ranko said with a simple shrug, her pigtail going along with it. "Ten years huh? So who taught you?" Ranma asked curiously wanting to know who other than his father had suffered under the master of the Anything Goes School. Ranko remained silent and walked ahead at a fast pace. *Smooth one, baka!* Ranma thought glumly before catching up the Ranko once more. Grasping her shoulder gently, her turned her to face him smiling sympathetically. "Sorry 'bout bring up unwanted memories there. Didn't know." Ranko looked up at him, into his caring, concern filled eyes. Why was it that he could be caring one moment and a total idiot the next? She swatted his hand away, turn and started walking again. "What do you know?" she asked curtly. *More than you think, Ranko.* Ranma thought shaking his head wearily. "So, seeing as I beat you, does that mean you owe me date?" he asked jokingly. "I don't owe you anything. Leave me alone." "No. Think about it. You don't like having to fight your "fan club" everyday do you?" "No." "Well , if we pretend we're goin' out, they'll leave you alone. After all, I beat you fair an' square. Them too. We pretend we're going out, they won't bother you. I'm sure of it," Ranma explained somewhat excitedly. He remembered Akane's old fan club and how they'd backed off once they'd heard the two were engaged. And after he'd beaten up Kuno of course. "You really think that would work?" Ranko asked curiously, glancing at Ranma out of the corner of her eye. She didn't even know why she was thinking about agreeing with what he was saying. It sounded logical, but also . . . a little suspicious. "Or are you just trying to make me your pretend girlfriend so you can go and brag to your friends?" "Ranko? Do you _know_ how many friends I have?" Ranko shook her head. "One. And his name's Umino." "You're friends with Umino?" Ranko asked in wonder. "He's all I got," Ranma replied plainly placing his hands behind his head as he walked. "Wellllll, I'll consider it. I still don't know though," Ranko said thinking it over. *It just might work.* "Think of it this way. We won't have to do anything, just say we're a couple. Then lie about a bunch of other stuff," Ranma explained easily not taking his eyes off the road ahead. "Yeah, but what if someone asks us to do something? Like hug or kiss?" Ranko asked inquisitively, a small blush donning her cheeks. "Well, the hugging I can deal with, but for the kissin'. We _might_ have to use the Saotome School of Anything Goes: Final Attack on that one," Ranma answered with an amused smirk. Ranko couldn't stop the oncoming onslaught and burst out laughing, startling the nearby pedestrians. Ranma's smile grew wider at Ranko's reaction. He really liked the sound of her laugh. It was carefree as if she hadn't a worry in the world. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Ranko spotted their upcoming position. "The bridge!" she shouted dashing ahead. "Huh?" Ranma exclaimed before running after Ranko. "What bridge?" "I though you knew Nerima like the back your hand?" Ranko mock teased. "I thought I did too." "This is Cherry Bridge. It's one of my favorite places to hang out when I need someone to talk to," Ranko explained. "Why's it called Cherry Bridge though?" Ranma asked eyeing the old wooden bridge that gave passage over a small creek. "Because I live here," a voice replied from beside him. Glancing to his right, Ranma screamed in horror going into a classic Takakashi pose, pinky, index finger, and thumb extended on each hand. "Ah! Happosai!" Then he got a better look. "Wait a minute. You're not Happosai. Who're you?" "I'm Cherry," Cherry replied annoyed. "What the heck type of name is Cherry?" Ranma asked perplexed. "What the heck kinda name is Ranma?" Cherry responded in kind. "I'll have you know, Ranma's a perfectly fine na-! How'd you know my name?" "I have my ways," Cherry replied mysteriously before turning to Ranko. "Ranko, my dear, how have you been? I haven't seen you around lately." "Sorry, Cherry-san. I've been really busy lately. I'll try and stop by more often though," Ranko answered with a small frown. "So if you live here, does that make you a bum or somethin'?" Ranma asked. Already he didn't care for Cherry, as the shriveled old man reminded him to much of the old ghoul. "Yes, something like that," Cherry replied giving Ranma a warning glare. Ranma glared back just as much. "Ah . . . we gotta get going Cherry. I'll see you later, kay?" Ranko asked nervously, looking back and forth between the two. "Okay, Ranko-chan," Cherry replied not breaking his gaze. "Come on Ranma, lets go." "I think this would be a good time to go our separate ways," Ranma responded holding Cherry's gaze. "Uh . . . alright. See ya, Ranma!" Ranko called while darting across the small bridge and out of sight. 5 minutes later and the two were still holding eye contact. Ranma spoke first. "I don't like you." "And I you." "Then I guess we're on even terms." "I guess we are." Another long silence past, this time having Cherry break it. "Stay away from Ranko-chan." "Why?" "I can tell just by looking at you that you're nothing but trouble." Ranma snorted. "You wish, old man. You can't make me do nothin'." "You blinked." "Huh?" "You blinked." "No I didn't!" "You just did it again!" "I did not!" "You lost!" "I'll show you lost, old man!" ********* "Ah, Ranko, just the girl I wanted to see," Nabiki said from in front of her bedroom. "Huh? What do want, Nabs?" Ranko asked curiously walking up to her cousin. Nabiki hid her grimace at the name Ranko called her and beckoned her redheaded cousin into her room. "In here, if you please." "Er . . . ok," Ranko said strolling into Nabiki's room. "Whatcha want?" "I know what you did," Nabiki started firmly. "What did I do?" Ranko asked baffled. "Don't play dumb! I know all about your rendzevous with Ranma," Nabiki snapped back. "How do you know about that?" Ranko asked surprised and slightly tense. Nabiki just looked at her. "Oh yeah," Ranko finally said as lamely as one could. "What did you think you were doing?" Nabiki asked flatly. "Um . . . eating," Ranko responded. She had no idea why Nabiki was chewing her out so badly. All she did was share an okonomiyaki with him. Nabiki stared in shock. Ranko gave Ranma head! How could she do such thing!? And consider it eating at that! "How could you?" she asked in complete shock. "Well he payed for it," Ranko replied reminding herself to thank him for sharing his lunch. *Kami-sama in heaven! My cousin's become a prostitute!* Nabiki felt sick. *This is all Ranma's fault!* she thought angrily. "So how was it?" Nabiki asked after regaining her composure. Ranko took on a far away look thinking back. "It was great, actually." That was the one thing she couldn't figure out. It had tasted like every other okonomiyaki she'd ever eaten. *Maybe it had to do with Ranma being there?* he thought with a tiny blush. Nabiki's frown turned into a scowl. She felt like puking. "What about after school today? I saw you following him." "You saw that too!?" Ranko cried embarrassed at being caught. "Yes, I saw that too." "No-nothing happened," Ranko stammered blushing badly as she recalled their close encounter and her strange Ranma fantasy too. Nabiki saw Ranko blush and added to her already wrong conclusion. *They must've done it again! I've never seen Ranko blush so badly!* she thought worriedly. "Ok, Ranko. You can go." Leaving the room, Ranko wondered just what the hell was wrong with Nabiki. Closing her door, Nabiki hurried back to her desk and began filtering through the piles of papers atop it. Finding the one she was apparently looking for, she grabbed her cell phone and began dialing the number printed on the paper. ********* His phone rang once. Then twice. Then a third time. Sighing to himself, a young man, no more than 16 years of age, pulled a cell phone from his pants pocket. Pushing the on button through the 4th ring, he sighed into the phone. "What do want? You're interrupting my meditation," he said wearily into the phone. There was a sudden rapid muttering heard coming from the caller. "Nabiki!" the boy shouted springing out of his lotus position. More incoherent muttering was heard. "Yes, I remember the favor." More mumbling. "Alright, where do you need me to be?" A pause for more muttering. "Nerima. Furinkan High. Gotcha. What's the guy's name?" Two words were mumbled this time. "Ranma Saotome, eh? No problem, but after this, I owe you nothing," he said before hanging up the phone. "Ranma Saotome. Prepare yourself," he whispered gripping the phone tightly in his fist which suddenly decided to shatter into a million tiny pieces. "Because the greatest fighter in all Japan is coming after you," he finished flashing a toothy grin. "Worthless piece of junk," the slightly fanged boy muttered wiping the phone's remains from his hands. ********* Sliding into the bathroom, Ranma ceremoniously began undressing, tossing his clothes to the floor before entering the main bathroom. He couldn't wait to get in the furo. All throughout dinner his mom had pestered him about his camping trip and about Ranko and how perfect a woman she was. He nearly fainted when she brought up the subject of grandchildren. Heading to the water tap, Ranma froze in his tracks. Slowly he turned his head to look behind him. And stared. He now knew what was on his back. He swallow lightly before taking a step closer to the mirror. "What the hell?" he muttered to himself. Then he screamed. ********* "HE'S BACK! HE'S BACK! WE'RE SAVED! REJOICE PEOPLE! THE APOCALYPSE HAS BEEN PREVENTED!" Umetsu-sensei cried happily from where he was perched atop Furinkan High's flag pole. "Frup up!" Akane mumbled/shouted from where she was tied to the flag pole, Kuno's boxers shoved and taped into her mouth. The top half of her school uniform was missing, leaving her clad only in a bra and school skirt. "Fonf fefer phas phofs phis fenfes," Kuno mumbled through Akane panties, also tied to the flag pole, wearing nothing but Akane's school shirt around his waist . "BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAH!" TBC Chapter 4: Who's the Greatest? He's the Greatest. Your the Greatest? Next Time: It's a battle to be the best and the winner gets nothing but trouble. Authors Notes: I wanna thank everyone who wrote me, asking if stuff was getting done, and giving me encouragement, but I really want to thank Jared a.k.a. Skysaber for getting on my ass, not literally all you lemon heads out there. He gave the challenge I was looking for which got me writing non stop! Thanks Sky! Well, I'm sure I got more things to say, but I'm not sure I can remember them. I most likely remember them later which'll piss me off, but that's just stuff you gotta live with. Thanks once again to everyone that wrote me. Sorry for taking so long to finish this chapter, but this is my longest chapter to date. Email me at my usual Hawk49er@msn.com Fic can be found at the following places: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/6189/ http://www.geocities.com/animecrossovers/ http://home.earthlink.net/~tannim/ http://www.crosswinds.net/~ladycosmos/ Thanks guys! >Smack< and girls! ^_^; What are you still doing here? The chapter ended awhile ago.