By Kaycee Ronin
I don’t own Gundam Wing or really anything at all. Sister Therese is my character though. Please don’t steal her. It’s not nice to steal nuns. This part of the fic contains extreme angst but surprisingly, no yaoi...yet. I’m done rambling now, so on with the fic! Please send reviews!
He didn’t want to relive what had happened at the Maxwell Church all those years ago. That was the reason Duo hadn’t entered a church since the Massacre. It wasn’t that he was afraid, it was more that he couldn’t bear to live through something like that a second time. People like Father Maxwell and Sister Helen hadn’t deserved to die, but they did. They and the others were unnecessary casualties in an unnecessary and ridiculous war.
He had been the only survivor, and over two hundred innocent people had died around him. Duo never knew why he had been spared; he hadn’t been the best out of them by far. He had finally come to terms that he was only alive for one reason. Revenge. Revenge on those responsible for what had happened almost nine years ago now.
~~ That’s why I’m Shinigami… ~~
“A-are you alright?” A soft voice spoke from very far away.
~~ Hmm… ~~ Duo thought. ~~ Angel. ~~
“Duo? Duo, can you open your eyes?”
Duo unconsciously shivered. He suddenly felt very cold. He didn’t want to wake up. It would hurt and he knew it.
“Please Duo, open your eyes.”
The braided pilot groaned, feeling his body pulling itself towards consciousness. His ribs burned with pain making it difficult to breathe. He winced and opened his eyes slightly as something cool and wet pressed against his forehead. “Nani?” He murmured, a shaky breath escaping his lips. Duo turned his head to the side and saw Sister Therese kneeling on the floor next to the pew. She was holding a washcloth to his head, but her eyes were focused on his.
“Where are you hurt?” She asked softly.
“I’m…fine,” He choked.
“No,” Sister Therese replied. “You’re very badly hurt. I need to know where so I can help you.”
Duo slowly shook his head. “It…would be better for your safety…I-if you stayed away from me,” He said in a low, very soft tone. “I’m already risking my life…I don’t want you to be in danger too…I‘m not worth...saving.”
“Nonsense,” Sister Therese returned. “It’s my duty to help any person in need if it’s in my power to do so.”
“Sister Helen said that to me once,” Duo whispered a slight, dazed smile crossing his face. “I…told her she was crazy. Why would anyone wanna help everybody in the world? You could end up helping the wrong people…Bad people…” He closed his eyes and paused for a long time. “An’ they can come back and make you pay for it.”
Sister Therese cringed as Duo struggled in a weak breath and coughed it out painfully. “Don’t move an inch,” She said as she climbed to her feet. “I’m going to go get some pain killers and bandages for you.”
“That’s what happened,” the injured boy murmured before Sister Therese could walk away. He looked up at her with pained teary eyes. “They all died...Sister Helen and Father Maxwell...an’...everybody...Jus’ because they were...trying to help some hurt people.” The terrible memories flooded Duo’s mind as darkness began to overtake him again. Sister Therese noticed and quickly shook his shoulder, trying to keep him conscious.
“You have to stay awake for now Duo,” She said calmly. “I have to get medicines and equipment to help you but you must stay awake until I get back.”
His said nothing as his eyes came closer to closing and Sister Therese shook him again.
“No Duo...Don’t let your eyes close. You can’t--”
“Be...live me...” Duo murmured, giving her a weak smile with the last of his strength. “Y-you’d be safer...if I was...”
Before he could finish, Duo’s eyes slipped closed and his head lolled unconsciously to the side.
Sister Therese widened her eyes and knelt back down. “Duo?” She asked softly, shaking his shoulder gently. There was no response. “Duo?” She tried again, hoping that the boy would just open his eyes. But he didn’t reply or even move. This was bad. His skin was becoming much too pale and his breaths were getting shorter and ragged. He wouldn’t last much longer.
Without another moment’s hesitation, Sister Therese jumped to her feet and rushed towards the rectory where the medical supplies were kept.
“God please,” She prayed as she began to gather supplies. “Don’t take him yet. He’s much too young to die. Please, don’t take him.”
Something was forcing Duo to hold on. His mind and soul hung somewhere between light and dark. The light held life, the very pain he was so desperate to escape. He had to escape the light and go to the darkness. He was nearly there, but he could not cross into darkness. Something was holding him back, denying him eternal peace. Duo looked around, violet eyes filled with frustrated tears. “Please!” He screamed to anyone that could here. “Please let me go! I can’t stand anymore suffering! Please!”
He reached for the comforting darkness as tears streamed his pale face. Escape. He needed to reach it. If he could, nothing would ever be able to hurt him again. “It hurts so much,” Duo whispered weakly. “I give up. I can’t do this anymore. Please...” His pathetic sounding tone helplessly begged for mercy. He looked up, ready to plead with whatever higher power there was. “Why won’t you let me die?” He choked. “It hurts so much...I’m begging you...Take me now. Let me die.”
Nothing happened. Pain still seared through Duo’s entire being, he could find no relief. Overcome with anguish, the boy tried again to enter the darkness, the calm and serene peace that was beckoning to him. He couldn’t get to it. He couldn’t find relief. Finally the braided boy curled into a ball, sobbing harshly, in too much pain to try again. Why couldn’t he just die. It would feel so much better than the hellish suffering he was going through now. “Damn you!” Duo screamed in agony. “What the hell do you have against me that I can’t escape and die?”
Suddenly he heard a familiar soft, gentle voice calling him from very far away. “Duo...”
The braided boy raised his head and looked around. “Huh? Wh-who’s there?”
“You cannot wish for death yet Duo. Your time among the living has not yet come to an end,” The voice said quietly. It reminded him of Sister Helen, but Duo knew it couldn’t be here. One of the ones he had loved that had been taken from him. “Have faith and hang on Duo. Pain does not last forever.”
Duo sat up and looked around again. “Who are you?” He questioned the voice. “How do you know me?”
“I’ve been watching you since you were a young child Duo. It is my responsibility to watch and protect you.”
Duo laughed coldly. “No one does that,” He said flatly. “I’m alone. That’s one of the reasons I want to die.”
“You have never been alone Duo, nor will you ever be,” The voice said comfortingly. “As long as you keep that faith of yours, you will never be alone.”
“I don’t have faith,” Duo murmured. “I’ve seen to much of hell to have faith in heaven.”
“That is not true Duo,” The soft voice assured him. “Somewhere inside you lies your faith. You may not ever realize it, but it’s there. That is why you cannot die now.”
Duo remained silent for a long time, considering what the voice had just told him. Though pain still clouded his entire being, he began to notice something within telling him to live. He couldn’t just give up and wish to end it all. His card hadn’t come up yet. He had to live! Live for Heero and the others and to keep peace in the world. “Can’t die,” The braided boy whispered weakly.
“Yes Duo, hang on...You will not die. Hang on.”
Something was pulling him towards consciousness, where he would have to relive all that pain again. Duo looked around for the source of the voice, but finding no one around he questioned loudly, “Who are you?”
“I am your Guardian Angel,” The voice said in a happy tone. It’s my job to keep you safe...and to tell you that when you have faith in absolutely nothing else, remember I am here and I will protect you from harm until your time comes.”
Duo heard a frightened voice trying to pull him back to consciousness. “Duo! Duo open your eyes! You have to wake up!”
“Go on now Duo,” The Angel said softly. “Remember you always have someone watching over you.”
With that, Duo’s violet eyes fluttered open and he found himself looking into the teary eyes of Sister Therese. “Duo!” She cried in surprise. “You’re awake!”
“Don’t worry,” Duo said with a weak smile. “I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”
Sister Therese smiled and swept Duo’s long bangs away from his forehead. “That’s good to hear,” She said softly. “I’m glad you decided to stay.”
“Me too,” Duo murmured as he looked at the ceiling, idly wondering why Sister Therese had the same voice as his Guardian Angel. “Me too.”
