I sadly don’t own Gundam Wing or any TV show at all for that matter. I completely deny all accusations accusing me of running a clown and dead fish show outside of Knoxville, Tennessee. I don’t even live in Tennessee! Ha ha! You will find this fic to contain Shonen ai in the 1+2 and 3+4 areas. If this disturbs you, please don’t read! That is all…I’m done now! Go read the fic and send me comments onegai!
Duo staggered through the front door shaking so badly that he could hardly stay on his feet. His long chestnut brown hair was slightly frayed and several long strands hung loose out of his braid. His violet eyes were wide and glazed over with unspeakable horror. He leaned against the door breathing heavily and he buried his face in one hand. Without so much as a word to the other four pilots in the next room, Duo rushed up the nearby stairs to his bedroom.
“Did you guys hear someone come in?” Quatre Winner asked the three other teens sitting with him. The blond haired boy looked up from his mug of tea just in time to see the darkly clad figure run pass the doorway. “Duo?” The Arabian was surprised that the braided pilot hadn’t greeted them with his normal cheerful attitude. Quatre got up and started after him but Heero Yuy held him back with one arm.
“Iie.” The dark haired Japanese boy said flatly. He watched calmly as the braided pilot ran up the stairs at top speed. His eyes did not falter with the concern he held for Duo, although it was slowly beginning to eat him up inside “Leave him alone for now.” He ordered in a soft tone.
“Heero?” Quatre looked at him, confused, not about to ignore an obviously upset comrade. “But you just saw Duo. There’s something wrong with him!”
“Give him a couple minutes to calm down.” The Perfect Soldier explained, looking up the stairs that Duo’s form had already vanished from. “Then I’ll go talk to him.”
Duo stumbled as he walked into his room and he fell to his knees beside his bed and rested against the mattress. “God I’m sorry...” He said tearfully, raising one arm to hide his face in it. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I messed up really bad this time...I’m so sorry.” He closed his eyes as tears began to roll slowly down his cheeks. His small body shuddered with silent cries as he began to drown in his own sorrow.
Heero waited for a few minutes like he had said before going upstairs after his longhaired lover. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes, his cobalt blue eyes just staring at the American pilot in disbelief. He was...crying, and actually shaking from it. Duo was obviously very upset, but why? He was almost always happy and talkative, especially after a mission. Unable to bear seeing Duo…his Duo suffering like this any longer, Heero started towards him.
Hearing the footsteps nearing him, Duo sat up straight and sharply turned his head, his braid rapidly whipping behind him. “He...Heero?” He asked softly as he whipped his eyes.
Heero stopped about two feet from Duo and looked down at him. “Duo, what’s wrong?” He knelt down and lightly brushed his fingers against Duo’s shoulder. The braided pilot looked up with the most tormented expression he had ever seen. Tears had streaked his handsome heart-shaped face pale and his eyes were clouded and lifeless. His whole body was shaking from trying not to sob in front of the Japanese boy. Heero raised a hand and wiped the tears from Duo’s upper left cheek.
The American stifled a sob and jerked back. “Don’t.” He murmured helplessly, raising a hand to his cheek. “I don’t…”
Heero extended his other arm to wrap around Duo’s back snugly before he could get away. He pulled the braided pilot’s body against his, ignoring how Duo struggled to get away. He held him against his chest protectively and lightly kissed his forehead. “Talk to me, Duo.” Heero whispered in his ear. “It’s okay.”
Duo clenched his teeth, forcing back the unstoppable tears with all of his strength, but it wasn’t enough. He began to sob loudly as he leaned against Heero, burying his face in his lover’s shirt. The Japanese boy noticed Duo was shivering, no shaking from crying so hard. “H-Heero,” He choked out. “I…I didn’t mean…I’m sorry! I…I didn’t mean to…” He wrapped his arms tightly around Heero, still shaking.
“Shhh...Daijoubu...” Heero said in a comforting manner. He sat back on his knees and rocked slowly back and forth in an effort to calm Duo down. He gently stroked the boy’s braid with one hand and held his other hand firmly against his back. “What’s wrong koi?” He asked softly.
“I--” Duo choked, barely able to control his slurred speech. “I…I ki…” He flung himself onto Heero, sobbing hysterically again and unable to speak any coherent words.
Duo’s heart was pounding so hard and his breathing was so broken up that within a few moments, Heero knew he would either make himself very sick or have a complete nervous breakdown. He looked to his side of the room and noticed a first aid kit sitting on his desk. He laid the American down on his bed and walked over to the small box. He opened it, silently searching for something and trying his best to ignore Duo’s pathetic gasps and half-choking sobs that were clawing at his heart. Heero took out a small syringe half filled with a painkiller. It wasn’t much, but it was the best he could do at the moment and it would keep Duo subdued for half an hour or so.
He returned to the bedside and leaned over Duo and gently kissed him, putting the syringe into his upper left arm at the same time. Duo blinked in surprise. “Hee…” he began softly, his voice nothing more than a weak whisper. He blinked up at him a few times in hazy confusion as the medicine took effect, then his head lolled to the side and his eyes closed.
Heero got up carefully, never taking his Prussian blue eyes off the other boy’s face. He sat next to him, still gently stroking his braid. The American moaned something in his drug-induced sleep. It was unintelligible, but full of complete anguish and helplessness. It went on for what seemed like an eternity, and the Perfect Soldier didn’t move from Duo’s side. Finally the unconscious boy let out a tormented cry and his entire body jerked like he was in pain. “Yame!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, tossing his head franticly.
“Shhh, koi, it’s okay,” Heero said softly, taking the unconscious boy in his arms.
“I didn’t mean to! I swear! I swear! I swear! I’m sorry!” Duo screamed again.
“Don’t do this to yourself Duo,” Heero said in concern. He lightly brushed his fingers against the braided boy’s cheek.
As if an automatic response to Heero’s touch, Duo cringed and gasped in pain. “Yame,” He moaned tearfully. “I…I said I was sorry.
Heero leaned in closer to him and lightly kissed his forehead. “Ai shiteru Duo-chan,” He whispered. “I can’t stand seeing you like this so—“
“Heero, come here! QUICK!!” Quatre suddenly called from downstairs in a frantic tone.
Heero sat up straight and looked out the door, then back at Duo. “I’ll be back in just a couple minutes.” He told the sleeping boy. The Japanese boy got up and walked out of the room. Duo muttered a string of anguished incoherent words, but did not wake up as Heero left.
He couldn’t hear the screams as he stared down at the burning building, a pleased and contented smirk on his face. Flames poured from every opening and parts of the roof were beginning to fall away. Duo laughed to himself. Those OZ bastards had just gotten exactly what they deserved, courtesy of the God of Death himself. He turned Deathscythe Hell in the direction of Quatre’s Mansion and sped off quickly.
A voice suddenly clouded his mind, angry and shouting at him. “Do you know what you’ve just done, you murderer?!” Duo blinked in surprise and shook his head slightly. “You slaughtered innocent people!” Duo shook his head quickly. He hadn’t done that! He had destroyed the OZ base, just as he had been ordered. A sharp pain grew in his head as he tried to forget what the voice had just said.
“You don’t believe me,” the voice boomed. “Why don’t you turn on your news report?” Duo reluctantly turned on the screen with a shaky hand and listened to the report for a few moments. The expression on his face changed from smug to one of pure shock and horror for what he had just done.
“Congratulations, God of Death.” The voice laughed. “You now have more innocent blood on your hands than all the other Gundam pilots put together…You murderer...”
Duo cried out and bolted into a sitting position, shaking terribly. “Oh God…I…I killed them. I killed them!” He whispered in horror. He looked around the room quickly, looking around for Heero. “H-Hee-chan?” He murmured, almost silently. ~~He must know what I did.~~ Duo thought in horror. ~~So he left me…He wouldn’t want a murderer of innocent people for a lover.~~
He sat for a long time hugging his knees and staring down at the ground. Tears fell in constant streams down his face…nothing could stop them now. Not himself, not Heero, not the voice in the back of his head constantly reminding him that boys weren’t supposed to cry. He cried loudly, thinking of all those innocent lives he had destroyed. That he had enjoyed destroying. For the longest time, the braided boy simply sat on his bed with his face buried in his hands sobbing. Just one thought crossed the young pilot’s devastated mind.
~~I deserve to die for what I’ve done...~~
His teary eyes scanned the darkened room until they came to rest upon the shiny black pistol lying on Heero’s unmade bed. Almost in a trance-like state, Duo rose to his feet and walked towards it, his blank eyes dark and focused only on the small object lying innocently in front of him.
~~I must die...Then those souls may rest in peace...~~
