Again Minna-san, I don’t own Gundam Wing…Unless ponders that’s what I won in that poker game last week! No…wait…that was Gummi Bears. Sorry for the mix up! More juicy Duo angst in this part of the story, and what’s going on (which some of you may already know) is not so subtle this time. Hope you don’t mind. Send me comments, questions, and peanut butter Twix bars at TripleH_Girl@yahoo.com. Thank you. Now on with the fic!
Heero stared at the television, stunned beyond words as the film clip of Deathscythe Hell blowing up a building replayed for the fourth time. He did not need to hear the commentary; he understood exactly what had happened without it. "In what is already being described as one of the worst war crimes in known history,” A blond haired woman reporter began. “The Gundam Zero-Two today attacked and destroyed St. Mary’s Orphanage in Luna Bay. Among the bodies recovered by Oz soldiers were one hundred and four children, all brutally murdered when the Gundam attacked. In all, one hundred and thirty-one people were killed. If you are just joining us, our top story—" Heero reached up and turned off the TV, then let his hand drop like a rock and stared at the blank screen.
"What the hell could have possessed Maxwell to do something like that?" Wufei asked in shock. His dark eyes traveled from one boy to the next looking for some sort of explanation.
"It…it must have been a mistake…" Quatre murmured. "Duo would never hurt innocent kids. It had to have been a mistake! R-right Heero?"
“Hn.”
“Mistake or no,” Trowa said softly. “Oz is now not only going to be after Duo, but the rest of us as well.”
“But we can’t turn him in!” Quatre exclaimed. “Duo trusts us! We can’t just give him to the enemy.”
Wufei sighed. “He’s endangering the rest of us,” He looked over to the silent Japanese boy. “What do you think Heero?”
Duo shuddered as he listened to them talk from the upstairs hallway. They were right! He was endangering them all by staying here…by being alive! If he was dead and Oz knew it, there would be no problem. He glanced teary-eyed at each of the other pilots until his eyes came to rest on Heero. “Hee-chan,” He murmured as he turned and darted back into the bedroom, locking the door behind him.
Heero didn’t answer Wufei’s question. Instead, catching sight of the braided boy in the hallway with something in his hand, he leapt to his feet and bolted to the staircase leading to his and Duo’s room. “All of you stay here!” The Perfect Soldier ordered coldly. He looked over his shoulder as he grasped the banister. “One of you call Hilde…Duo’s gonna need all the friends he has.”
As he ran up the stairs, Heero wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill Duo for making such a grave error that could endanger them all, or just hold him and tell him it would be okay. "Don’t you dare do anything stupid, Duo…" He whispered to himself.
~~ It’s just a matter of time before Oz will find us here…And if I’m alive, everyone will be in danger…I’d be better off dead. It would be better for everyone…~~
Duo’s fingers lightly caressed the shiny black barrel of Heero’s pistol. It was cold and icy. "Just like death…" He laughed dryly. He ran his fingers silently along the weapon’s outline several times, listening to his mind continuously repeat, ~~ I’d be better off dead…I’d be better off dead…None of the others would be in danger then… ~~
There was a sudden pounding at the locked door. “Duo!” He heard Heero’s muffled voice shouting at him from the hall. “Duo, open the damn door!”
~~ Heero… ~~ Duo thought sadly. ~~ He sounds mad…He probably wants to kill me himself. ~~ He turned and listened to Heero shouting his name over and over and pounding on the door as hard as he could. “Gomen ne Hee-chan,” Duo whispered. "I don’t want you to have to see this.”
As he turned to walk back to his bed, gun in hand, something sitting on Heero’s desk caught his eye. He reached down and picked up a small photo that had been partially covered by a book. It was a picture of him with Heero. Duo remembered it from several months earlier. He could not even remember the reason he had been so happy then, but in the photo his eyes were happy and bright and he had his arms wrapped lovingly around Heero’s neck. Even Heero had a hint of a smile on his face. Duo sighed deeply and put the picture down. He dropped it onto the floor and faced the wall by his bed.
"I’m sorry Heero." He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "I’m sure you’ll find someone better than me."
“DUO!” Heero screamed from the outside again. He was trying to break the door down, but Duo gave it little notice.
With a slight hesitation and a trembling hand, he raised the pistol to his temple and clicked off the safety and placed one finger of the trigger. "Goodbye, Hee-chan." Duo said quietly. "I love you…I’ll always love you." He started to squeeze the trigger when suddenly there was a loud noise from the door slamming into the wall as it was forced open. He heard a loud shout from Heero, who was now standing in the doorway.
"NO DUO!!"
Duo turned to face him a surprised look on his face. He lowered his hand a little but still kept his finger on the trigger. “What?” He asked numbly
“Don’t you dare even think about killing yourself!”
“W-why?” Duo noticed Heero walking towards him and put the gun to his head again. “Stop!” He shouted, tears streaming down his pale face. “Hee-chan…I—I deserve to die! You don’t understand what I did!”
“You made a mistake.”
“A mistake? A MISTAKE?! Heero, do you know how many people I killed today because of some fucking mistake?!”
There was a brief pause before the Japanese boy could bring himself to look into Duo’s eyes. “Yes,” He said finally.
“Then how can you be saying I have the right to live?!” Duo sobbed. “Oz is after me! The whole world is after me! And when they’re done with me, they’re gonna go after you guys! It would be better if I just died now, then no one would ever find me.” Duo scowled at Heero. “And I won’t let you stop me.”
“Duo…”
The room suddenly started to spin in front of the braided boy's eyes and Duo heard a voice in his head as he staggered a few steps backwards.
~~ You can’t die yet…We are not finished with you. Put down the gun now. ~~
Duo shook his head madly and glared at Heero. “What are you doing to me?! What the hell did you give me before?!”
Heero blinked in surprise and shook his head.
~~ Put it down, Duo… ~~ The voice ordered coldly. It was funny how the voice didn’t sound like Heero. It sounded more like a woman. But then again, Heero had a weird way of doing things. ~~ Put down that gun Duo…We’re not done with you yet. Put it down. Put it down. Put it down… ~~
“SHUT UP!” Duo screamed as loudly as he could. He looked at the stunned Heero solemnly and pressed the gun more firmly to his temple.
“Duo, don’t!”
~~ Drop that gun. ~~
Overcome with the screaming from Heero and the voice in his head, Duo lowered the gun slowly, keeping his eyes on the floor. He didn’t seem to notice his finger was still holding the trigger.
BANG!
"Duo?!" Heero’s breath caught in his throat as he walked towards his lover-- who was now swaying on his feet.
The gun fell numbly from his hand as Duo moved it to hold his bleeding side. His hair hung listlessly in his face as he tried to look up. "Heero…" He whispered weakly, gazing at the Japanese boy with agony in his violet eyes. "Gomen…"
Duo fell to the floor in a lifeless heap.
