"Mighty Irken Soldiers! Welcome to Operation Impending Doom 2!" called Red to the audience. Purple nudged him.
"Operation Impending Doom 3, Red."
"Oh, IMPENDING DOOM 3, then!" The crowd cheered uncertainty and the Vid-Screen showed a woman dancing around in her room. But she wasn't Irken, she was Earthen.
Several Irkens were watching the screen warily, not sure about this woman. Obviously, they had been living under a rock, for not knowing the Moose.
"Now, as you may have noticed, this woman is our very own, Lindsay Moose!" Purple said.
Silence from the crowd.
"Oh, come on! She stopped the Neo Rebellion?" said Purple, making extravagant gestures with his hands. Realization clicked and the crowd let out a cheer.
Lindsay grinned and waved like a maniac. Red sighed and rubbed his temples and Purple ran off to find some Aspirin.
"Okay, people! Now, Lindsay will be our back up Invader in a way-"
"I AM? Neat-o!"
"A-hem," said Red and glared at the Screen. Moose grinned, totally embarrassed, and waved at him. "Anyway, she will be learning how to be an Invader! As she can’t live forever. She will also, in a way, be in reserve for any crisis that may arise, so just in case! But you Invaders-" he pointed to the row of Irkens across the room, "Can't mess up too many times or else we'll run out of back up. Now, TO THE ASSIGNING!"
Everyone about-faced to the other side of the room and Moose's Vid Screen turned. "Red, I'm gonna run over to ZIM's, then teleprompt over here. 'Kay?"
Red nodded and the screen winked off. "DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM." said a mysterious and creepy voice.
Red floated over and Purple wandered in to find everyone turning away. "Hey! What is it? What'd I do?" he demanded. "Why are you all turning away?"
"Um, we're Assigning, PURPLE!" called Red over the crowd, who had turned back to look at Purple. They turned around as Purple came over.
"OOOH!" said Purple and floated over to the other side. "Has Moose beamed over yet?"
There were several shouts and a scream from a maid and rushed apologies. Moose ran in through the door, "Erm... Hello?" she said.
"Well, turn to see your new Invader!" said Purple (He has no clue, ne?). The crowd groaned and turned to look at Moose. Moose waved energetically and walked over to the other side of the room. They turned with her as she walked over and stood by the Tallest.
"Welcome back, what happened back there?" asked Red.
Moose shrugged, "The maid wasn't really expecting me so she was calling the guards and-you know." Purple raised an eyebrow.
"Chirp, chirp," remarked a cricket absently.
Silence.
"Um, let's get on with the Assigning, yes?" said Moose. Red and Purple nodded enthusiastically.
"Now, step forward Invader Qik!" A small Irken ran forward, "You will
be going to Reearth, home of the exploding heads," said Purple and motioned to the vid-screen showing the Invader's head blowing up. Invader Qik nearly had a heart attack.
Red was grinning as he handed the unlucky Irken his planet. "Have fun!"
Invader Qik was carried off the stage in a stretcher.
Moose stared after him in shock. Red put a two-clawed hand on her shoulder, "Have no fear! Look them, they're all ready!" he said and pointed at the various Irkens. Most were in various degrees of shock.
"Um, maybe not, then...." Moose shook her head and watched the rest of them get their planets, some ranging from the exploding head, to a planet of rubber ducks, to one with giant earthworms and another where the inhabitants were exactly three inches tall (the
Tallest used this to spite one very short Irken). Finally, the last Irken was there. It was a girl who was introduced as the newest from the academy, Invader Kro.
Her eyes were wide and dark purple and her antenna curled several times. She grinned like
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac at the audience. They shifted uneasily.
"Now, this is Invader Kro! She's come right out of the Academy so we'll be giving her a test run! She will be given the planet Lupesia," said Purple putting a hand on her shoulder. "As she is still alittle unsure-"
"Um, excuse me, I’m quite sure I can whoop their butts, sirs-"
"-We will be giving her help! Moose, come 'ere!" said Purple. Moose walked over and stood next to the Invader. "Moose will be assisting Kro in her mission! Invader Kro, Soon-To-Be-Invader Moose, good luck!"
Moose looked out at the crowd, expecting
applause or something. The cricket from before appeared and chirped and silence reigned.
Kro motioned for Purple to come closer and she whispered in his ear. He shook his head and pointed outward. Kro shook her head no and folded her arms and gave him the ultimate death glare.
He shook his head no and pointed out more forcefully. She pushed the glare harder. Finally, Purple just pushed her out and Moose followed. "Meet ya in the Equipping station!"
Kro stormed out to the candy vending machine and typed in F4. As the nougat bar dropped in the slot, Moose tried her best with hello. Kro looked at her, "Greetings, yes." her tone was dry and calm. Moose wondered if it was normally dry or if it was just her. "So you're right out of the Academy? What was it like?"
"Yes and hell. Terrible, firey, tenth level hell."
"Well, that's descriptive."
"Mm hmm..." remarked Kro and bit into the bar.
"So... um, we'll be doing a mission together-"
"Don't remind me." said Kro and held her head with a free hand, "My migraine is already coming back and that medicine shoulda kept it away until five." Kro walked out the door and away. Moose stared out.
"That could have gone better."
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