About five hours later, they landed. Kro stepped out in the steam and smog and coughed viciously.
"Good God!" she hacked, "What did they do to the planet?" Moose stepped out and took a deep breath, and hacked as well. 310 walked out with a gas mask. Both Invaders glared at the robot and surveyed their surroundings. "Disguises." said Kro and went to the Voot. The choices were only one, become the way the Lupesians looked. Duh.
Both assumed disguises and the SIR stepped up and changed in to a Puffwit. A Puffwit is a small pile of gooey slime that is a favored pet on Lupesia. Don’t ask me why, go ask your mother! Whoa, Dr. Suess moment there!
Kro grinned, "Now... I'll set up our home, you go out and find out what you can, okay?" she asked the last bit with a note of 'if you say no, I will have to destroy you.' Moose raised and lowered one shoulder and left.
Wandering around the small town, she found a small cafe. She walked in and sat down at the table. A waitress came and Moose demanded Coke. The waitress left to get the drink.
".... And they say their gonna declare WAR!"
"Yah, I know! They’re callin’ up the troops for training! I swear, if they don’t figure out
what they’re gonna do, everyone will friggin’ DIE!"
The waitress brought Moose's Coke over and Moose took it, without a word still listening to these Lupians talk about the "war". Moose finished the drink and realized with great unhappiness, she had no monies
to pay with.
Sending a silent plea to the author that she might find money in her pocket, Moose surveyed everyone else. After about five minutes of the author weighing whether she wanted to so this or not, Moose felt her pocket fill with monies. She paid the waitress and
left to find Kro.
Kro had finished the house and Moose walked in to find it quite nice. All homey and...stuff. Moose walked in.
"Wow, nice... I do have to admit." remarked Moose and went into a room marked "Moose's Room". It was barren; nothing was in it, only a chest of drawers and a bed. Moose sighed and lay down on the bed. Not much to do... except....
She sat up, then stood and went down to the lower levels. Kro had fallen asleep in a giant spiny chair and left the computer on. Moose pulled up another chair and opened a channel to the Tallest.
Purple answered and nearly fell over the monitor apologizing. Moose nodded dumbly, for what Purple was saying was basically like this: "OMIGOD! I'msorrycanyoueverforgiveme? Ifeelspobadandwannamakeituptoyou!"
"Um, okay... Can you just get Red for me?" asked Moose after Purple had paused to get a breath.
"SURE! I’llberightback, don’tworryaboutaTHING!" he ran off to get Red. Red came on looking groggy and tired but brightened when he saw Moose.
"Hey, Linds! How're you? I'm sorry about my colligue’s mistake-" his eyes flashed at Purple who waved. "-Um, how's it fare in Lupesia?"
"Well, there seems to be some sort of crisis or something. I heard some folks talking at the coffee shop. So I'm gonna look into that. How've you been?"
"Okay..."
"It's quiet, is what he means to say-" said Purple taking back the screen, "-Since you're not
around."
Moose grinned, "Yea, I'll take a field trip soon! I miss Irk and Earth!" she grinned, "But I have a mission! I'd better go now-I'll see ya! Bye!" the screen blipped off and left both Irk and Lupesia in the dark.
The next morning, Moose was already up and wandering about in the upper levels. Kro walked up and slammed the door to her room. The sky clouded over and rain poured.
"WHERE’S. MY. COFFEE?" snarled Kro and walked to the coffee machine. She snatched it out and took a long drink. The sky cleared up instantly and birds started
singing in the trees.
Kro got a satisfied smile and put the cup down, "Life is not worth living until you've had some Grade A coffee. Anything new?" she asked pleasantly sitting
down.
Moose raised an eyebrow, "Um... What happened? Why are you so nice?"
The computer (still Eddie Murphy, and I don’t mean the actor, you goons!) switched on and answered her, "Becauth Kro hath had thome coffee, thee feelth very good and ith no longer in a quarrelthome mood." Moose smacked her head (one, from Eddie Murphy's return and two, the coffee)
"OH! The caffeine, of course!" she exclaimed. "Anyway, so what are we doin' today?"
"Weeell.... I figured we'd don our disguises, find food, get stuff for our rooms and have a
good time. Also, we either need to find a place to learn or pose as a couple."
Moose, who was experimenting the coffee, spat it out in alarm, "WHAT?"
"Well, it's that or be two roommates from out of town." said Kro and took another sip.
"Two roommates, without a doubt." said Moose and took a loooooong sip of coffee, almost to the point where she couldn't breathe. She coughed, took another sip and nodded, "Okay! Let's get this show on the road!"
Kro and Moose continued walking downtown, trying to make sense of the weird script on the windows and the funny posters. "Have you seen this boy?" said Moose reading out loud with a grin; "He is very ugly!"
Kro grinned and drained the last of her coffee, which would result in her being incredibly cross when the caffeine got out of her system. "So, where to now?"
"I’m thinking we go to this store here, buy some curtains..." said Moose and the two headed off to the store. "Kro, what time is it?"
"About two o’clock, by your Earthen Standards and about… Two Lupesia Standards."
"Why say both then? Why not just one, since they’re the same?" Their voices were getting slightly fainter as they left.
A poster fluttered past, which read: "Come one, come all! The meeting of destruction will be at five o’clock TODAY! Get over here now to serve your planet with the Diaterans!"
Now, you have to know, Lupians, although very intelligent, are like humans: They miss the things right "under their noses", so to speak. Kro and Moose’s disguises were like Gir’s doggy costume, very bad. But, like we accepted the green dog, they accepted the funny looking Lupians. So, Moose and Kro entered the fifth store that day, this time,
looking for those wristbands with spikes on them for Kro. Moose walked in first, staring at the large pointed objects on the walls and cool clothes by the pointed objects. Kro (who had the caffeine somewhat out of her system) pulled out a double-ended scythe and tested it.
"Hey, Moose!" she shouted over the deafening heavy metal playing over the speaker system. "Think fast!" Moose turned and nearly fainted as Kro hefted the scythe at her head. Kro’s laughter was cut short, very
short. The other end of the scythe caught on her costume and ripped the seams. The whole costume fell apart on the ground to leave a very worried Kro standing there.
The store, as one, turned around and stared at them. The music stopped and the shopkeeper (who bore eerie resemblance to that police man in "Walk of Doom") screamed "It’s an Irken! And she’s back for MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE! GET HER!"
The entire store, customers and workers alike, leaped to get her. Kro screamed and both began to run." Being short in stature, they caught Kro. "Get going, you nitwit!" she shouted as Moose turned to help her.
Moose shrugged hurriedly; "I’ll come back for
you!" she said and left for the house at a sprint.
Moose ran into the house and bolted the door. "COMPUTER, FRY ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET IN!" shouted Moose at the computer, who obeyed, and ran into the lower levels. She flipped on the communication device and called up the Tallest.
"RED, I’M COMING TO IRK, THEY’VE CAUGHT KRO AND NOW THEY’RE AFTER
ME!" shouted Moose at the screen. Purple looked at her and pulled Red into the screen. After about five minutes, he figured out what was going on and Red told her to get to Irk. Moose closed off communication and found the Voot Cruiser in the roof of the house
much like Zim’s. 310 got in with her and Moose pushed the button to start the base to refold itself into a small object, which could be placed in a purse or wallet for safe keeping.
Moose grabbed it and whooshed off into the darkness to get to Irk.
"Where do I park?" she yelled, crashing through Irk's atmosphere at that point in time. She had turned on the vid screen in the Voot so she was talking to Purple.
"I don't know!" Purple yelled. "Turn to your left! No the OTHER left!"
Moose gritted her teeth, "Look, I CAN'T! I am going to ram into that building!" she shouted. Moose started
to fiddle with the controls.
"What are you doing?!" yelled Purple. "You’re gonna ram into MY building!"
"What does it LOOK like I'm doin'?" screamed Moose. "NOT THAT I CAN STOP NOW-"
CRASH!
Purple winced and looked toward the wreckage. Moose's battered CD player was playing "Can’t Fight the Moonlight" by LeAnn Rimes (© by her, by the way!). A human hand escaped the wreck and grabbed a near-by ledge and pulled the owner out.
"Why did I let you drive?" groaned Purple pulling on his antenna. "My HOOOUSE!"
"I’m sorry! I've never drove one of these!" said Moose and groaned as she pulled herself out.
Red hovered in, armed with an army of servants. "WHAT HAPPENED?" he said, staring at everything.
Purple, who had fallen onto the ground sobbing, pointed at Moose, "SHE happened! She ran into my-OUR-building!" Red sighed and held out a hand to help
Moose up. She let out a long breath and reached back into the wreck.
"Lemme get my coffee!" Moose pulled out a thermos and took a drink, "Okay, I believe I’ll black out now." She fell backward in a faint.
Red sighed and got a hovering stretcher in and took her down to the Medical Research Bay, leaving several Irkens who wondered how to fix the wreckage.
Moose opened her eyes to be faced with a blurry world. An Irken looked down at her with brilliant magenta eyes.
"Yo!" she said and grinned. "Waz your name?" Moose stared at the Irken and blinked.
The Irken blinked as well, "Okay, it's mute. Alright, Mute Earthling, tell me-I mean -sign how you feel."
"I’m not mute. Why can’t I see?" asked Moose groggily.
The Irken faked surprise, "IT SPEAKS!" she said, "You're blind because you don't have your glasses on. Here." She put them on and the world was brought into focus.
"Who’re you?" asked Moose looking at the Irken.
"I am the great Zix!" she said.
"God, that name sounds familiar..."
"That’s cuz my brother’s name is Zim."
"ZIM?"
"Yea... Not that he’s made my life easier. Did he ever tell you, he almost blew up the entire planet?" Zix asked.
Moose shook her head and stood up. "Whooooa!" she said and put out her hand to support her.
"Yea, that’s my face." Said a slightly muffled voice. She looked down and pulled her hand off of Zix’s face. "Hold on, lemme adjust my eye." Zix popped her eye back in socket like one would shove a grapefruit into someone’s mouth.
"Okay, Red wants to tell you he’s waiting for you in his chambers and... That’s it! Have fun!" said Zix in a creepy voice as Moose left.
