........................................................................... ENTER: AMERICAN HILL The jack of all traits by Dan Jordan ........................................................................... It was a calm, clear day in November, and everything was normal, or as normal as things could be in the heart of Tokyo, Japan. At this moment an airplane, inbound from the United States, was landing at Tokyo International Airport. On board was Jack Hill, a runaway from the USA, destined to hide out in the unfamiliar territory that was Japan. He walked out of the airport and stood standing on the side-walk, & glanced up & down the street in both directions, signed, and voiced an opinion. "I think it's safe to say that I'm screwed." He was about 5'8 and was wearing brown boots and black jeans, as well as a red tank-top, covered by a high-quality blue jean-jacket. He was carrying two bags, one which he carried his stuff in, clothes and other personal items. The other which carried his prize-possession: an electric guitar. Why it was a prize possession for him, he had no idea, but it was. He walked on down the street for a very many blocks until he came to the front of a nice-looking restaurant of sorts. Jack, amazingly, had taken Japanese as a second language in High School (along with German), could understand that the sign outside the restaurant read "Ucchan's Okonomiyaki," which was a pizza place...sort of. Jack, who, like any one else, loved pizza, and entered. "Hello, welcome to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki!" Ukyo greeted him, but, he didn’t know who she was. Actually, Jack heard the voice before he saw the inside, for it was somewhat dim compared to sunny outside. So in a few more moments he was pleased to see that it was a rather nice place to. Behind a large grill counter stood a brown-haired girl in, what Jack considered a “kitchen commando” uniform, and why she had a giant spatula slung over her shoulder, Jack had no clue. However, he could guess she may use it for cooking, like he used his traditional weaponry for “self-defense.” Thinking this Jack adjusted the submachine gun he wore slung over his back, which had supplied him with a very interesting argument at the customs desk in the airport. Also at the counter, though obviously a patron, was a guy who looked in his late teens, with thick black hair, tied up in a rat-tail and wearing a silk red Chinese-style shirt, though Jack did not know it was Chinese. “I’ll have one,” Jack said, holding up his index finger. There was obviously supposed to be more, but Jack failed to notice this, and continue to look at the restaurant was all he did. "Plain?" Ranma asked, answering the question. "Eh?" Jack said, attention diverted. "Oh yeah, cheese please." Ukyo nodded and began to cook the food. "What’s your name?” Ranma asked, trying to be friendly. "Hill," Jack said turning around. "Jack Hill." "Saotome," said Ranma off the chair and extending his hand. "Ranma Saotome. "Done!" Ukyo stated. "And MY name is Ukyo. Ukyo Kuonji's the name, Okonomiyaki's the game." "Yeah, whatever." Jack said with dismal interest while walking over to the counter and when he saw the okonomiyaki stopped he dead. "What the hell is that?" "What?" Ukyo said, worried there might be something wrong with her masterpiece. "What's wrong?" "What the hell is THAT?" Jack repeated pointing at the okonomiyaki. "WHAT?!" "That...That...THING" There was a menacing pause. "THAT," Ukyo began, fire in her eyes. "IS OKONOMIYAKI! THE BEST IN THE WORLD!" "Economy-yuki?" "OKONOMIYAKI!!!" "Is it...edible?" "YES!" screamed Ukyo, smashing her hand down on the counter in a fit of rage. "I ORDERED A PIZZA!" yelled Jack, mimicking Ukyo by slamming his hand down on the grill. Suddenly there was another menacing, yet sizzling silence. "Careful," Ranma warned Jack, clearly enjoying the fight. "That's hot. Jack looked down at the grill and screamed. Running out into the street in a mad dash of pain, his attention was diverted when, horns blaring, a large truck was heading towards Jack. Jack screamed once more and dived onto the side of the street, panting. But he didn’t have much time for rest, as projectiles soon came flying his way. "And take your things as well!" Ukyo shouted as Jack's belongings came flying out the door and onto the sidewalk, where he gathered them and set off again, no clue where he was going to head. In fact not only did he have no clue where he would go, he didn’t even know what his options of places were. Jack decided to spend the next several hours roaming aimlessly around Tokyo, hell-bent on finding someplace he could get American-style cuisine. Failing, he eventually he decided to return to the restaurant, Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki, where a daily occurrence was in its midst. "But you just said that-." Ukyo started. “I did.” “That you-” "Love her." "If you love her, just tell her!" “It’s not that easy!” “It will be easier once you’ve done it!” “But how can I?!” “Just say so!” "Or by her a car," Jack chirped in. "Why don’t you go away?!" Ukyo screamed at the dim image of Jack standing in her doorway. "No where to go.” Jack replied. “And who in God’s green earth are YOU?" Ryoga, obviously depressed, what with his vivid feelings for Akane, was face down on the counter, with Ukyo to console him. "This is Ryoga Hibiki." Ukyo told Jack. "Pathetic isn't he?" Ryoga muttered something incoherent. “Well,” he said. “I was planning on - em - spending the night at the Tendo’s... I’d better get going.” “Maybe you could get closer to Akane.” Ukyo suggested. “And also, I was wondering if you could deliver an Okonomiyaki to my dear Ran-chan while I close up?" There was a painful moment of knowledgeable silence while Ukyo realized who she was asking, and Jack just stood, completely failing to gain any new and helpful information on what the hell was going on around him. In a silent understanding, Ryoga turned around and walked out the door, leaving Ukyo and Jack alone. Ukyo with food she wanted to get delivered, and Jack, with nowhere to go. Ukyo's options danced in her face, and they weren't at all good ones. "Look," she said, hesitantly. "I've gotta close-up, could you please to deliver an Okonomiyaki to Ran-chan?" "Umm..." "I have the address." She said helpfully. “I’d hope so.” Jack stated. “Here it is.” Ukyo said , removing a slip of paper from her pocket. “Please deliver it.” She handed Jack the slip of paper and he read it carefully. By the time he looked up Ukyo had gone to clean the counter and the box of Okonomiyaki lay on the counter. Jack grabbed it and embarked outside where he first had to find suitable and speedy transportation. Suitable and speed transportation, was in fact, not hard to find at all. Standing in the middle of the street, Jack stood in the middle of the two lanes, right on the parallel yellow lines. Suddenly, when a motorcyclist drove by, with cat-like reflexes, Jack grabbed the motorcycle by one of the handlebars and sent the driver flying. The recoil from grabbing the moving vehicle hurt Jack’s shoulder, but it was well worth it. He quickly got on and drove off. In less than a minute he was at the Tend Dojo, and he dropped the box and rang the doorbell before he set of for the restaurant. Knock, Knock, Knock. “What NOW?!” Ukyo yelled, unlocking the front door to Ucchan’s Okonomiyaki. She was wearing a nightgown - though she had brought her battle spatula for defense - and had obviously trying to sleep when the disturbance had happened. “Okonomiyaki delivered.” Jack said, imitating a deranged salute. “Good. Now please, may I get my sleep? Tomorrow is going to be very busy.” “Sure thing, BUT...” Ukyo sighed. “But?” “Yes, but...I’ve come up with a plan.” Jack continued, eyes closed with an all-knowing smile. “I don’t want to hear it.” Ukyo interrupted. “...I could be your okonomiyaki delivery boy,” continued Jack with a look implying that this was obvious, but was once again interrupted before he could continue. “There’s a catch, right?” “Ooh yes.” “I would have to pay you?” Jack put on a look of fake shock. “I would never force you to do such a thing!” “Then what would I have to do?” “...Give me a home.” Jack finished, folding his arms. “What?! Are you crazy?!” “Hey!” Jack yelled angry, but quickly calmed down. “I can delivery okonomiyaki with great speed, and that would giving you more time to cook. Business would skyrocket! The income would double- No, triple. No- QUADRUPLE! An all I ask is that I have someplace to stay in this damned city of yours. It’s obviously a fair deal.” Jack concluded. This was hardly cheerful news to Ukyo, and her being tired only made it worse. Ukyo sighed deeply. “You know, right now, I should kill you.” Jack’s smile flickered, but, being himself, returned in full stride. “You’re not going to, are you?” “No I’m not.” Jack nodded in understanding, while taking note on the pained look in Ukyo’s face. He also noted something else which, for the mean time, not only surprised him, but scared the shit out of him: She was pretty- no, not just pretty. She was drop-dead gorgeous. This surprised Jack greatly, for having already seen Ukyo twice before, and he only noticed it now. Yet it was so obvious. Her long, silky brown hair. Her beautiful large eyes. Her kind smile (though she didn’t have one know). Even at this very moment, when she was dead tired, she looked beautiful. “Well?!” Jack was shaken from his day-dreaming, and for a moment couldn’t remember what was going on. “Heh?” “Well what are you waiting for?! Get inside so I can close the door, it’s freezing outside!” “Yeah, yeah. Right.” “Yeah, it’s a fair deal and you know it.” “Follow me.” Ukyo turned around on her heal and walked in. She waited for Jack to be inside before closing the door. Ukyo sighed as she locked the door, and leaned against it as Jack started up the stairs. Suddenly he stopped and turned in her general direction. “Good night,” he said kindly, smiling at her. “And thanks.” This kind act caught Ukyo slightly off guard, but she didn’t show it, and bid Jack goodnight as well. She continued to lean against the door even after Jack had climbed the stairs and the sound of his door opening and closing had been heard. ‘Great,’ Ukyo thought to herself. ‘This should be fun.’ She then walked over to the bottom of the stairs and turned off the lights. She had moved here and spent all this time in money to get closer to her dear Ran-chan, and now found that another guy was going to be living in her restaurant. Her home. ‘Life sure is odd,’ Ukyo tough as she climbed the stairs to her room, feeling especially tired. ‘But tomorrow will be a better day.’
