Maybe it is worthwhile

I wanted to cry. I was doing some digging on Hakase Mizuki's Empire of Midnight and found a fanpage on Facebook. In one of the wall posts someone linked my Empire of Midnight page as a good source for information. I work on this website once in a while, and tell myself its my own personal database, I don't think anyone comes across it very often. What with much more extensive and professional websites like Anime News Network out there, who needs to read through a fan site that's built on simple HTML?

I'm happy some people can find my info useful. 

Here's the Facebook group link: Hakase Mizuki is a Badass!

 

why yaoi?

Reading the first few chapters of The Tyrant Falls in Love volume 1, There's basically this rape scene, but when its two guys, why is it so hot?

The story, a spinoff series of Challengers by Hinako Takanaga, is about a man named Tatsumi who hates gay people because his younger brother was seduced and had fallen in love with one, but his best friend Morinaga is gay. Tatsumi is violent and pig headed when it comes to gays, but still spends his time with Morinaga, who has actually loved Tatsumi for five years now. The first volume of their series, The Tyrant Falls in Love, begins with Tatsumi getting distraught that gay marriage has been legalized in LA, where his precious younger brother and lover are living. Morinaga offers to spend the night drinking with Tatsumi to help him forget his worries. But back at Morinaga's place, Tatsumi gets his hands on an alcoholic aphrodisiac that Morinaga had hidden. It seems to have no effect on Tatsumi, but in the middle of the night Tatsumi wakes up aroused. Causing an awkward ruckus trying to get to the restroom, Morinaga finds out Tatsumi's situation and forces himself on him, offering to just relieve him. Since he's finally living out a fantasy he's had for five years, he can't stop himself with just jerking him off, but full on rapes Tatsumi. Morinaga was always kind and extremely tolerant of Tatsumi's hatred towards gays, so seeing him being forceful with the helpless jerk Tatsumi was great. At one point Tatsumi says, "If you go any further, I won't fogive you!" To which Morinaga replies, "Even if I stop here you won't forgive me anyways." Go Morinaga!

I read plenty of erotic yaoi, and a lot of it out there is disappointing. I'm tired of all the cliched yaoi characters, even though these may be cliched characters as well, they're ones I haven't seen as often. I'm so happy Hinako Takanaga has written a story that exites me again. But the series being five volumes long, will it be able to hold my interest?

But anyways, the point is, as I'm reading this, why am I able to enjoy someone being raped when its two men? Is that the appeal of yaoi for girls? If it were a story of Tatsumi being a girl, and Morinaga going after her as she says "no" and "stop" repeatedly, stuggles like mad, and has this horrified look on her face, that would be unbearable. I would think, "that poor girl. how horrifying" and I would hate Morinaga. So why am I rooting for Morinaga? Maybe its also Tatsumi's personality that makes it okay... he's such a closed minded jerk to Morinaga, that I feel Morinaga deserves to take this opportunity, if anything, just to show Tatsumi "this serves you right you asshole!" hm... something to think about. Maybe thats why girls like yaoi? Its not as offensive or scary to see a man raped? We see men fall into the position of women and we enjoy it. haha, god, how morbid. Maybe thats not why girls enjoy yaoi, just me. But I'm not a man hater! hahaha.

So, the Eureka Seven movie...

Exciting, I got the chance to see the Eureka Seven movie in one of my local theaters tonight. I don't get out much to do stuff like that, public anime related stuff that is. Anyways, I go into this knowing its not a continuation of the series, but a different version of the basic storyline. A retelling. Me and a couple of my friends went and at the end, we were just left with, "huh. Could have been better...". Right now its all sort of a jumble in my head. One thing I didn't like was the whole "larva stage" Nirvash. It was like a pokemon, saying the same nonsense word over and over. It was fun that the Nirvash had a voice when Renton was piloting it, that there was a voice in the movie where in the series they always talked of this voice that we never heard, but if the voice was an obnoixuos voice like it was in the movie, then it was best left in the heads of Eureka and Renton in the series. Holland and the Gekko State were all victims of government experiments as children that made them age quickly and they had to take medication to halt their aging. Their mission was to capture Eureka and use Renton, a crew member of theirs and the one Eureka loves, as guides to get them to the world they've read about, where time will stand still and they won't suffer from their ailment anymore.

As in the series, Renton and Eureka love each other and Eureka is whiney and selfish and always feels sorry for herself. Ack, I'm being a little hard on her, but I always hated how she'd push Renton away when she was feeling so low on herself. There were too many times in the movie when Renton and Eureka's "I love you" scenes were far too dramatic and mushy, and I'm a sucker for much and true love and all, but only when its sweet, not so sweet I could vomit or punch someone in the head.

In the movie humanity is fighting an invasive species called Azo (basically coralians) and Eureka is a messenger from the Azo to gather data on humans. The government has decided to launch a massive solar beam (was it called "the hammer of god"?) onto the earth to wipe out the Azo once and for all, but will also cast the earth into an ashy darkness, devestating the land and causing massive casualties. The Gekko is out for its own crews survival, which was disappointing, being that I admire the Gekko State in the series as a croup of people who wanted mankind to know the truth of the coralians and to coexist with it, but instead in the movie the Gekko crew was only out for themselves. I guess its a quest to make oneself happy, not to save humanity. 

It's all mixed up in my head. I'm tired and can't remember it straight and barely know what I think of it yet. I'll have to see it again. I just know that it was pretty obnoxious and I had higher hopes for the movie. I was happy to see Dominic and Anemone, them being my favorites from the series, and that they were the level headed people in the movie, realizing the bigger picture of what's going on around them. 

I wonder what everyone else who saw it tonight thought of it?

Oh yeah, I remember

Since I was seven, I always said I wanted to draw for a living. I've forgotten all that. Used to draw some in high school. Ugly mimic of anime style. I've always wanted to develop my own style of the human form.

I found Jaryu Dokuro's website, was looking at her art (is it a girl?). I've read Sugar Milk (yaoi from Digital Manga Publishing) and have downloaded some scanlations of some of her other work, and I just love her art style and her story telling. Looking at the images on her website made me feel excited about drawing. I want to draw!

But I get discouraged so easily when I do, cuz I'm a lousy artsit. But its cuz I never practice and haven't tried. I've never been a very diligent artist, not too self motivated. I just don't have an obsessive drive to draw. All excuses, huh?

I think we all want to be heard, feel we're worth knowing, want others to want to know what we're thinking and to care about what we think and know.

Someday, I'd just like to put out some fuckin comics. But people who don't try don't accomplish much, eh chickadee?

Oh yeah, and finding out Dokuro was born in 1985 really bummed me out. The chicks my age... shit. She's living my dream baby. But she's worked for it, haha, I'm a loser.

Here's her website (in Japanese), click pics to look at her art: msic

The amazing library

I've never been a big library goer, I don't read books much, just my comics. But then my boyfriend showed me that libraries have comics. I've been impressed by the amount of manga the one closest to us has, not an awful lot, maybe 100 books or so, but after years of spending hundreds on manga series I find I don't even like that much, this is a welcome change in manga reading.

Well I decided to check out the library near my work and my heart was a flutter. They had a wall with twice as much manga as my local library. Plus a section of over 200 anime DVDs. holy moly! I'm signed up at Rentanime.com and have to wait weeks to finish series becuase the demand for some is so high and their stock is low. The library didn't have many series on my rental list at Rentanime, but series I've been curious about at some point in my life none the less. Its amazing! To suddenly have all this at my fingertips, for free!! Anime and manga/comics is such an expensive hobby. Rentanime was a huge change in my anime watching life, before then I'd have to buy DVDs of series I'd only read articles about. 

But one of the funniest things was one set I saw there. They have Sailor Moon Sailor Stars on DVD at this library. Sailor Stars is the last season of Sailor Moon, one which was never dubbed in English and never even released in the U.S. on TV or DVD or anything. They must be copies of fansubs. Years ago (6 or 7 years?) I had to hunt down VHS fansubs of Sailor Stars, and poor quality at that, and it was so thrilling. Now they just have these fansubs chillin' in the local library, I cracked up like a mad woman on my drive home. I am indeed easily amused.

Life is good!

Ouran High School Host Club

So I just finished watching the Ouran High School Host Club anime series. I began it about a week ago, finding it on demand with my cable company. It seemed so silly and pointless, that I wouldn't get into it. But a few days later out of boredom I tried some more, and spent the last couple days glued to my computer watching the rest online.

So the story centers around a group of boys, and one girl disguided as a boy, and their club at the rich kids school, Ouran. Haruhi, a tomboyish middle class girl who got into Ouran on an honors scholarship, stumbles into the host club's room, breaks an expensive vase by accident and the handsome boys of the club decide she must pay for the expensive vase she broke by being their servant. They soon find that she is good with the girls who come to their club and put her to work as a host (a male host). All the boys in the club grow to love Haruhi. Tamaki, the leader (king) of the club, says he feels for Haruhi as a father would a daughter. Then there are the mischeivious twins Hikaru and Karou, ultra cute Honey and his constant calm and aloof companion Mori, and finally the guy who holds the club together by managing it, Kyoya.

At first, the episodes just follow the antics of the club members and trying to keep Haruhi's true gender a secret, but as this 26 episode anime progresses, we find out more about the characters; their pasts, their troubles, and their true feelings. So this frivolous show became a bit more meaningful, going into the joys of getting to know those you never thought you'd associate with, and showing how certain people can change how you view the world around you and live your life.

 The ending was cute and satisfying. Ouran High School Host Club left me feeling warm inside and was fun to watch, teaching me that I shouldn't judge an anime by its looks and a short summary.

Visit the Anime News Network's (http://www.animenewsnetwork.com) encyclopedia section. Look up the anime you want to see, and under episode titles, they just may have episodes available to watch.

Clean Up

I'm going to try to clean up this website. Under the anime and manga titles sections, I list everything I own, whether I actually like it or not. I'm going to ged rid of the pages for stuff I don't like so much and try and make the pages for the stuff I like a little better.

 Its so lonely out there on the web. Can anyone hear me? There are so many bigger, more beautiful, more informative sites. After all, a lot of my sources for information are other websites. My website is just one star in the vast sky.

working away

I've been tinkering with this website a few times a week for a couple months now. Reformatting the pages, and even adding some info. Most recently I've created character description pages and image galleries for manga titles Vampire Knight, Loveless, and The Demon Ororon.

 I feel kind of silly spending my time on this site, there are many other anime and manga websites out there. Bigger, more informative, and prettier. But I love anime and manga so much. I like to write about my favorite stories. 

 I hope someone out there can appreciate my small effort on the huge, endless internet.

Too much to do
I'm getting a lot of photos back up in the Sailor Moon character profile section. I'm thinking I want to organize it a new way as well, since the current format just doesn't work for me anymore.

There's so many screen captures I want to get up for the entire site. Like new ones for Lain, Magic User's Club, Escaflowne, and I even will put back the character profiles for the X movie. God, but it's so tedious and tiring sitting in front of the computer and going over all this anime.

I wonder too if any of this work is even worth it. Is it worth it for the 25 pages views I've had over the past month? My site is so amateur and incomplete. I wonder if it even offers anything unique to fans. I guess I just want it to be a fun look. Maybe its moreso for myself. I mean, its a hobby to keep me busy and I have fun with it and it makes me feel good to finish up projects, but I think I may be the only one looking at it. heh, oh well.

my very own screen captures
I'm so happy. I finally got around to hunting down and buying a screen capture program so I can take my own pictures for my website. No more searching the internet and feeding off others! I'm so proud! But boy, is it tideous. Maybe cuz I'm so picky, but I sit in front of the computer for a good amount of time watching anime and snapping the right pictures. It feels great though. There had always been certain pictures I wanted from an episode or show in general and could never get a hold of it, but now I can. Oh lovely lovely.