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Heartbeat: Chapter 7

by Momiji Hime

"So nothing's wrong?"

"No."

"You're lying"

"Prove it."

Kusanagi fought off the urge to give her a fierce shake. Why couldn't she just say it? The annoying little brat. Momiji didn't often dig in her heels, but when she did, it was a nightmare for all those around her. She could be so stubborn when the time called for it.

"For starters, I found you out in yard, almost frozen. You didn't even hear me calling you!"

"I was just... thinking."

"What could you possibly have to think about, that could cause you to go into a weird trance, or whatever it was that you were in?

The withering look Momiji shot at him made him almost flinch. "Where should I start?" Her lower lip began to quiver. The insensitive bastard.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, don't cry, okay?" He awkwardly slapped a hand on her shoulder, intending to give her comfort, but probably added to her bruises instead. "What's wrong with you?"

He didn't know what to think. At the prodding of everyone else, he had went out to get her. She had only been outside for a quarter hour or so, but as Kunikida flipped on the radio, and the temperature forecast had reached his ears, Ryoko had insisted that he go out to get her, and he couldn't much blame her. Jerk that he was, he didn’t want her to freeze to death. He had ventured outside to drag her back to the table, and had found her sitting underneath a tree in the soaked grass, a lost look in her emerald eyes. She hadn't even responded to his shouts until he'd gotten her halfway across the yard. The part that had scared him the most was the way she had begun to stumble as she came out of her stupor, and the look of utter confusion that came across her face.

She had muttered his name, or at least, he thought she had, then reclined against him, and he'd felt her shaking from more than the cold. She'd begged him to take her to her room, and he'd wordlessly complied. It was there where she shrugged off her wet, clammy sweatshirt, and clad in only a beat up pair of denim shorts and a moderately thin t-shirt, had sat on her bed, without a word.

"I don't know, just stress, I suppose." Momiji signed.

"You've dealt with a lot worse than this, and done a better job." Kusanagi argued. "Something else is bothering you. Spit it out."

"It's nothing."

"You don't trust me enough to tell me." Kusanagi stated, flopping down on the edge of the bed. "After all this, you still don't trust me enough, do you?"

Momiji was incredulous. "I don't believe this. I do trust you. You're the one that has the problem."

"Don't bring our breakup into this," Kusanagi ground out, shutting his eyes. "This has nothing to do with me trusting you or not."

"Right." Momiji fussed with a patch of nail polish Sakura had accidentally spilled on the bedspread the night before. "But it has everything to do with- forget it. You're right."

His head hurt. He hated these types of conversations. There had been far too many of them when they had been together. "You've got the wrong idea about what happened, but there's no point in arguing about it. Why can't you tell me what's bothering you?"

Momiji couldn't do much but clench her teeth behind her closed lips. The wheels in her head began to finally turn again.. what was that phrase she had read in one of Sakura's girly magazines? That women should be able to lie through their teeth without cracking a smile? What a crock. And though she felt that the article had been a complete piece of crow, she had to give it a shot. She hated lying, and even more, she hated lying to Kusanagi.

But considering the situation, it was imperative that she do so.

"I'm not really sure," she managed, wincing as he scowled in disbelief. "All I know is that I'm worried, Kusanagi. Two years of... nothing. I'm almost out of school, and things were going so well except for.. you know. It's hard, not knowing what's wrong with me, that something could just happen that I don't have any control over."

He grunted. "I guess."

"You guess?" It was her turn to scowl. It seemed ridiculous to argue about a lie, but the more thought she gave it, the more she believed that making it more dramatic would make it more believable. "I can't really expect you to know how I feel anyway. You've never tried to understand me." She shoved the covers aside and slid out of bed, pasting an angry expression onto her face. "I'm surprised you even care."

"You littl-"

"Oh, give it a rest! Don't bother getting angry with me over this. It's true, isn't it? You guard me because you feel guilty over Kaede, over what you almost did to me in the beginning. That's all, isn't that true? Do me a favor, don't bother worrying. I'll be fine without your help. I'd hate for you to waste your time, anyway."

Kusanagi's eyes were blazing; she had pissed the hell out of him. Inwardly, she heard a triumphant shout. She had done it. She'd passed off her lie, and managed to make it seem more believable by turning it into a drag out fight. And, as an extra bonus, the subject had taken a very interesting turn! They were now addressing a very sore subject that was still open to debate. She had changed the topic of conversation, and she was going to get her explanation. She was a better liar than she had thought. Sakura's trashy women's lib/sex toy magazines really did have some merit. She mentally thanked Sakura for letting her read them, but the nail polish stain turned her momentary gratitude to irritation again. Sakura had better get the stain out.

His fists were clenched, and he briefly shut his eyes, in order to take stock himself to keep from lashing out. "You know that's not true."

"It isn't? That's the only way I see it." She smirked at him as he opened his eyes to stare at her. "Of course, I have no idea why you bothered to date me or anything. You didn't need to go that far. But I suppose it made you feel better, didn't it? It must have really did a number on your guilt.. made you feel like you were doing me a favor, you know, making the girl you almost killed happy and all." She put a finger to her lips, as if an idea had suddenly come to her. "I think I get it! That would explain why you never wanted to touch me, or kiss me. I always wondered."

Momiji put her hands on her hips, sighing. "That's good old Kusanagi, for you... so charitable. Thanks for the favor."

"That's a lie." He growled. "How dare you say something like that?

"Tsk tsk.. so dramatic! Do you actually believe all the nonsense you're spouting? Tell me this.. if you really did care so much about me, then why did you dump me? Tell me that, will you? Why did you never want to touch me? Why did you make all those stupid excuses in order to end things? How come I wouldn't hear from you for days at a time?"

He stared at her through narrowed eyes. She was treading on dangerous ground. He was seething. Mission accomplished.

Why did she feel so horrible, then? She had to do this for his own good. And for hers.

So she kept it up.

"You can't answer, can you?" She ceased her erratic pacing, returning to her standing position at the side of her bed. "Face it, you don't really care for me, and I don't like being a charity case. Consider yourself done. Debt repaid. Congratulations."

Her spiel completed, she finally took note of the fact that he was breathing awfully hard, that his fisted hands were braced on his knees, and his teeth were bared. He looked up, and one look in his eyes told her exactly how far over the line she had crossed.

"Debt!? Repaid?!" He stood before her, and roughly grabbed her by her wrists. "How can you say that?"

"Let me go." She yanked, trying to pull away, but he held tight, and the look of death on his face kept her from pursuing an escape. She was going to land a world record for being grabbed by guys with mitamas today.

"Shut the hell up! I've heard enough out of you!" His eyes were wild and furious. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you really this stupid? Are you really that cluele-"

"I resent that."

"I said shut up!" He gave her wrists a jerk. "You idiot! Did it ever occur to you that I broke up with you for your own good? huh? That I didn't want to see you waste your time with me?"

She didn’t want to be shut up again, so she remained silent, staring indignantly up at him.

Kusanagi apparently expected an answer, and gave her arms a shake. "Well?!"

She wished he'd make up his mind. Did he want her to talk or not? "No."

"Well, give it time! You... dummy!" He released her arms. "The whole time we were together, I wanted to hug you, and kiss you, and be with you so bad, it hurt. But I didn't, because I DO care about you! Did you ever think that maybe I act the way I do because it would make things worse if I didn't? You'd have ended up nowhere with me! Did you really want someone like me as your boyfriend?"

At her furious nod, Kusanagi raked both hands through his hair, apparently at his wits end. "There was no debt ever involved.. I stayed because I wanted to. I wanted to help.. I needed to be around you, to know that you were safe, and I never did it because I felt guilty! I did it because if anything ever happened to you, I'd want to die! I need to know that you're alright. I've always needed that. I was with you when you fought.. and..I saw you die. And I saw you come back... dammit, I held you when you came back! We've been through hell. Why did you have to bring this up?

Then, to Momiji's absolute shock, his face crumpled. She stared as he wiped furiously at his eyes, then returned his gaze to her.

Good lord. He was crying. Never before in her life had Momiji felt like such a jerk. She had just reduced the man she loved more than life itself to tears. His eyes were overflowing, wetness sliding down his cheeks in rivers. There was only one word to describe her at this particular moment.

Bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

Mission accomplished, alright. Tenfold. She may have deceived him, and kept him from finding out the truth, but she had never intended for him to get quite this upset. True, she had her doubts about his feelings for her, but with his shocking confession, all of those misgivings dissolved. She had just got the declaration of her dreams, short of him crying out his love for her.

But she wasn't happy about it. She felt horrible. Momiji blinked tears out of her own eyes, and opened her mouth to speak, but her breath was stolen from her as he grabbed her arms again, and gave a swift yank, sending her flying into his chest. His arms, hard as iron, yet gentle as a child's, molded themselves around her waist, and before she could gather her wits, she found her face buried in his chest, and his face buried in her hair.

His violent trembling indicated that he was still crying, and suddenly desperate to do anything to ease his suffering, her hands stole upward to grasp his forearms. She stroked them gently, feeling the hard muscle beneath his bronzed skin.

Suddenly dizzy, she took a moment to gather herself. She felt as if she was falling, and she shut her eyes, waiting for the feeling of vertigo to leave her body, and it did, with a dull thud. Warily, she opened her eyes, to find them both on her bed, Kusanagi resting on her. It took a moment for the shock to wear off, and as it did, she was rewarded with another surprise.

Kusanagi's lips.

The kiss wasn't gentle.. it was angry. His mouth was hot, hungry, and burned hers, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was heady, intoxicating, and she found herself returning it just as furiously as he gave, though she wasn't sure where she found the nerve, the experience, or the energy, giving herself up to the giddiness that threatened to overcome her. The pleasantly heavy body covering hers gave warmth to the last of her cold insides. Her hands slid into his hair almost against her will, the way women in the romance novels she had read did, and he tightened his grip on her. He murmured her name over and over against her lips in between kisses, until, with a sigh, the kisses became slower and more gentle.

Kusanagi finally ended the kiss, sliding downward, and nestled his face against the curve of her neck. The two of them lay exhausted on top of her bed, afraid to shatter the silence, but eventually, Momiji opened her mouth, and uttered a question softly. "Kusanagi..?"

"..What?"

"I'm sorry."

He gave a nod against her throat. "Yeah.. you sure know how to piss a guy off." He punctuated his answer with a deep sigh.

Another bout of silence ensued until Momiji heard Kusanagi chuckle gently. "What's so funny?"

"I was just wondering.."

"What?" Momiji absently toyed with his surprisingly soft hair, and waited.

"Are you wearing a bra?"

"Jerk."

 

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