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Eternal Burdens
by
Lady Robyn





So, here I am. Born again to the same destiny. Linked to the same fate that I have been drawn into so many times before. Yes, there they are. The same four that I always find, lifetime after lifetime. I love them, of course. After being together so long, how could I not?
My surrogate sisters are here, both seeking to protect my brother. Isn't that what we are always here to do? One would think he would be able to take care of himself by this point in time. I suppose that he just doesn't remember the past. Sadly, I do. The monotony wears on me, as does the responsibility. How am I to live a normal life when I know the burden I have hanging over my head?
Also, there is the fifth member of our party. The outcast. The one who doesn't really belong. The one who returns with us only because he must, or else we couldn't be a complete set. He shoots me his flirtatious glances, not taking my habitual silence as rejection. Perhaps one of these lifetimes I will be cruel enough to tell him to get over me. As for this time, I cannot. All I can do is hope he catches on.
This time our hidden protector, our guiding light, is intangible. He has no physical body. The only dangers he can protect us from are the spiritual ones. We shall just have to take care of our own physical selves.
Why did this have to come up again? I was perfectly content with my life the way it was. Now it is completely ruined, the shards of it cast to the wind. Even when our trial is over, it will only be temporary, and the scars will last the rest of my life. How could I be expected to be normal again after all I have learned? After all I have felt and seen? After all I know I will have to go through again?
I am not one to whine often, but sometimes I grow weary. Why must it always be the five of us that have to deal with this particular crisis? Surely there are other strong souls that could take our place, even once. Yet I know this will never happen. It is our destiny, after all.
Which leads me to question the exact meaning of destiny. Or karma for that matter. I try to be a good person, so why am I punished with this? I know the answer. It is not a punishment. I agreed to this, a millennia ago, in a land far away, in a time only dimly remembered, in a lifetime I cannot recall. It seems to me that we four, who have volunteered to protect the world from this evil inside my brother, must have been very foolish. Or selfless. Perhaps they are the same thing.
I watch the youngest girl scold my brother for jumping off of the roof. He is always trying something destructive. I'm not sure if I should be relieved that he is trying to destroy himself rather than the world, or sad that he feels so much pain and dangerous games are his only outlet for it. Is he my real brother? No, not this time. Maybe we will be true blood siblings again, next time around. Or perhaps I will be related to my amorous suitor and will have a break from his advances.
The amusing thing is, it is my duty to protect my "brother", yet I can barely stand to be in the same room with him. Our personalities conflict too greatly, and we are both too stubborn to back down. It's dreadful, really. One would think I would have learned after having so many chances to get it right.
I don't know if we have to do this every single time we are born. I only know that this is the reason we keep coming back. This mission, this duty, this promise. This close bond between five souls that have been through so much together that we wish never to be truly parted. I love them all, in different ways. My brother is my brother, exasperating though he may be. The girls are my sisters and truest friends. And my suitor, well, he is a friend. Loyal, caring and faithful to the end. Not everyone can say they have someone that has loved them through death, after all.
The time grows near. We can all feel it in the air, weighing heavy on our minds. With silent nods, we four join hands in a circle around my brother. As I close my eyes and call the familiar power to me, I feel the warmth spread through me, and I accept it.
I will carry this weight on my shoulders. I will bear this burden on my soul. And I will hold in my hand the force that will enable our success. I will hold in my hand the bond of friendship that transcends time and gives me all the strength I need to go on.


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