STARRY NIGHT
Gateau shut the bathroom door, cutting off the noise of the flushing toilet, as he made his way back down the hall to his room. If he could find it...Gods, this church was so friggen huge, it was like a maze. It had taken Gateau ten minutes to find the bathroom, and looking back down the hall, he couldn’t remember how he’d gotten there. It was a known fact that Gateau Mocha had an innate sense of direction comparable to that of a brick...but then again, even a brick would know that it was supposed to fall DOWN when dropped... anyway, the point was that he was quite lost. The paintings on the walls didn’t look familiar at all, and the hallway was quite dim, a few meager torches providing the only lighting, so this didn’t help him either. He climbed a six-step flight of stairs that he thought he recognized, and came upon...surprisesurprise...another long corridor. Argh...what a drag... If he hadn’t been hopelessly lost at the moment, Gateau might have been able to appreciate the beauty of his surroundings...Giant paintings of angels flitting in and out of sunbeams, tapestries displaying many ethereal creatures such as unicorns and phoenixes...the high narrow windows, with their panes set in wrought iron, allowing the entrance of milky moonbeams to mingle with the torches’ flickering firelight, dancing over the glyphs and engravings in the marble walls and vaulted ceiling...the tranquility, the silence, the stillness. Such beauty that Gateau of all people would certainly appreciate at any other time. But for now...
“Chrissakes, where the hell is my room? Damn...” Gateau swore under his breath. As he left this hallway, he made a left and came upon yet another corridor. But this one was shorter, it’s floor covered with a richly decorated oriental rug, and doors were along the walls instead of paintings. These were doors to their rooms. Thank gods... Gateau made his way down the hallway, past Tira’s room, then Chocolate’s, Carrot’s, and finally Marron’s...but there was something wrong here... What were those noises coming from inside that room? Marron’s door was open slightly and Gateau could see a bit of light through the crack. He stopped in front of this door, and very quietly pressed himself closer so that he could peek through the space between it and the wall. What he saw was so shocking and pathetic... Marron’s bedside lantern was on, and the poor bishounen was sitting, on the edge of his bed, one tightly clenched fist clamped down on his wool comforter, the other near his face, his teeth biting his knuckles as he emitted choking noises that could only be sobs, and tears left glistening trails down his high cheekbones, catching the lantern’s flickering light... Gateau leaned back for a contemplative minute. Should he investigate? Probably not. He had a feeling that he knew very well why Marron was shedding tears, considering what had gone on today, and he was pretty sure that Marron would not want company. But Marron had never been so upset, as far as Gateau could remember, and he’d been at his side all their life. He then felt a wave of bitter anger towards Carrot. Carrot could be a real jerk at times, but he’d always been only joking. Today it was different. Today he’d really hurt his brother and Gateau knew how much grief Carrot could cause Marron. Marron was his friend, even though Gateau fervently wished to be more than a mere comrade to him, and he would not let Marron have to deal with this alone. It just wouldn’t do. But Gateau had a feeling that Marron would not appreciate being spied on, so he made it look like he’d only just arrived at his door by gently knocking.
Marron jumped a little when he heard the soft tapping outside his door. He hastily cleared his throat and brushed his fingertips over his face to dry the tear-streaks before responding with a simple “Come in.”
Gateau gingerly opened the door and poked his head inside. He looked at Marron who stared up at him indifferently.
“Hi.”
Marron’s only response was averting his gaze by bowing his head and looking at the floor. Gateau slowly entered the room, and quietly shut the door behind him. He carefully came up to the bed’s edge, and waited. Marron didn’t look up, so Gateau knelt before the silent mage, and got at eye-level with him. But Marron simply looked off to the side slightly, deliberately avoiding that piercing blue gaze...
“Gateau, I don’t want to talk to you.”
Gateau felt slightly hurt by this blunt statement, but he shrugged it off and simply asked “why?”
“Because I know why you’re here.”
“Why do you think I’m here, Marron?”
“Don’t pull that innocent front with me!” Marron said, looking up at Gateau, who didn’t find this as much of an improvement, seeing as Marron’s eyes, normally placid pools of liquid gold, were now oceans of anger and accusation. “I know you’re here because now that you know I’m a fag, you think you deserve me! Well, let me tell you right now that I belong to nobody! Not you, not anyone. Not now, not ever!”
“Marron, chill!”
“I will not, Gateau!” Marron said angrily, his voice possessing a surprising amount of force, “I’m sick and tired of everyone treating me like I have no emotions at all! People think I don’t get angry, or sad, or happy, so they either ignore me or they make fun of me! They do it because they think that I have no feelings for them to hurt! Well, I do!”
“Marron!” Gateau said a little too harshly as he caught Marron by the wrists, causing the distraught boy to flinch, “Marron, please...” he said a bit more gently “That’s not why I’m here. I came in because I just to happened to be passing your door and I heard you crying, and I was worried.”
Marron stopped struggling, and looked at Gateau strangely. “You heard me...?”
“And I was worried.” Gateau repeated, nodding. As soon as he was sure Marron wasn’t going to get all worked up again and start throwing furniture, or something, he carefully released Marron’s wrists and simply looked up at the beautiful young man who looked like he was trying to piece his thoughts together like the parts of a jigsaw puzzle. All of a sudden, Marron looked up at Gateau, with those sad, inscrutable amber eyes that never ceased to capture the older man and asked very timidly,
“Gateau...Do you...love me?”
This simple question threw Gateau slightly, and he was having a hell of a time trying not to let it show, but somehow he managed, “Well, yeah, Marron. Christ, why do you think I always throw myself in front of you asking for a look? I just wish you’d give me a gentle word, or a smile, or any kind of positive attention. All I want is for you to think of me, and consider carefully before you judge me.”
“No, I mean do you really, truly love me?”
“Yes!”
“Well, what’s so special about me?” Marron said in a self-depreciating tone.
“Marron...I could never tell you that. There’s too much.”
“Then answer me this, Gateau. Why do you love me?”
“Well, let’s see. You’re beautiful-”
“And that’s why?”
“That’s not the half of it,” Gateau said in all honesty. “Of course, that’s what drew me to you in the first place, but you’re the one that showed me that love goes beyond looks. The more time I spent around you, the more I saw past your physique. I saw a spellbinding and fiery young man, with a heart of gold, who was not seen for who he really was. I’ve seen your true self, and in seeing that, I see perfection. You’re so gentle and kind. Just feeling your aura from beside me gives me an elated and yet soothing feeling. You’re smart, but modest. You have such integrity, and you’ve never wronged anyone as far as I know. You’re quiet, but when you do speak, you have such a sincere way of talking. I know that you are just the most loyal and caring person one could ever hope to meet, and anyone should be thrilled to know you. I know I am. I find it so sad that so few people see what I see.” Gateau looked back at Marron in hopes that this lengthy preach of praise had had any effect on him, But Marron’s sad, lonely eyes remained closed, his head bowed. Gateau’s heart sank. As he began to get up, he felt a hand upon his shoulder stopping him, and looked up.
“That’s why?” came the velvet voice of the sad-eyed bishounen. Gateau simply nodded, but he drew in a surprised breath as Marron’s hand left his shoulder, only to close around his own hand. As Marron held Gateau’s hand in both of his own, he looked into Gateau’s eyes and said very softly, “If there is love...TRUE love... then all is forgiven.”
“Marron...” Gateau breathed as his sky-blue eyes met Marron’s aurora-gold ones. For a moment they simply stared...Then Marron sighed and let himself fall forward off the edge of the bed and into Gateau’s arms, where he was held tightly, but gently enough so that the Goliathian arms did not crush his fragile body. He could felt the warmth radiating from Gateau’s heart as surely as he could hear it beating, a steady motor of compassion within his ribcage. Neither Marron nor Gateau knew how long they stayed like that, on their knees, the delicate mage being held in the embrace of the warrior, who knew how and when to leave the “bold, tough-guy” front behind. Either way, the long hug ended when Marron was scooped up off the ground and carried over to the bed where he was carefully laid out on the mattress. Gateau pulled the warm wool comforter up to Marron’s chin and planted a kiss on his forehead.
“Goodnight, Marron.”
As Gateau was walking away, Marron softly called out, “Gateau?” causing the older man to stop and turn around, “Yes?”
“Must you leave?”
Gateau smiled and shrugged, “Well, it’s not like I’ve got anything to be late for, if that’s what you mean.”
“Stay with me. Please.”
Gateau sighed, his smile never fading, “Of course I will. But where will I sleep?”
Marron gave the mattress beside him a gentle tap. Gateau raised his eyebrows and gave Marron a questioning look. Marron nodded. After a moment’s hesitation, the older man slid into the bed next to Marron, who replaced the blanket over them both. For a moment they lay in silence, both on their sides, looking into each other’s eyes with the kind of love that required no speech to declare. Gateau shyly lifted his hand, and gently brushed some little wisps of ebony hair away from Marron’s forehead. Marron closed his eyes and murmured in quiet pleasure as Gateau continued to stroke his face. As Gateau’s gentle hand descended down to Marron’s neck, the little mage draped an arm over his larger counterpart’s middle and snuggled closer to him. Gateau placed his arms around his newfound love, his caresses continuing along Marron’s shoulders and lower back, bringing the smaller boy even closer until their bodies were pressed together and a certain warmth was exchanged. Marron nosed his way past Gateau’s chin,
so that he could nuzzle his neck, brushing his lips against the bronzed flesh of his throat.
“Marron?”
“Hmmm?”
“Have I ever told you that you are beautiful?”
“Yes. Many times.”
“When was the last time I said it?”
“Tonight.”
“Okay, then the last time before that.”
“Yesterday. After supper, I think...”
“Well, it was as true then as it is now. I mean, I’ve had these feelings for you for the longest time. Why didn’t you ever give me any kind of answer back then?”
“Because, Gateau...I was...”
“Shy?”
“No...I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“The idea of sharing a sexual relationship with anyone”
Gateau’s heart did the great-grand-daddy-king of flip-flops at these words. He looked at Marron, who shook his head.
“No, Gateau, not yet,” Marron said quietly, making something sink a little inside of Gateau, until the beautiful mage spoke again. “But if you are willing to wait for me, I swear I will be there, just around the corner in the near future. I will wait for you. I will be your first and your only, but only if you will wait for me.”
A promising and truthful smile dawned upon Gateau’s lips just before they gently touched Marron’s forehead, “I’ll wait forever and a day, if that is what it takes.”
Marron held tightly to Gateau is response, drinking the warmth of the embrace, then he laughed slightly. “When my brother wakes up, he’s going to pitch a fit.”
“Then let the little baka bitch and pitch all he wants,” Gateau said dismissively, “Coz from now on, neither of us are going to wake up lonely.”
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