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The scene begins with Cloud and Sephiroth sword fighting. The fight continues,
evenly motched until cloud is backed into the corner and Sephiroth knocks
the sword out of his hands. Cloud gulps as Sephiroth moves in for the kill.
Without warning, a bottle of tea with Cid Highwind's face on it falls into
Cloud's hand, out of nowhere. He cracks it open and gulps it down. Sephiroth's
eyes get wide as Cloud's sword returns to him. At the bottom of the screen,
Cloud's limit gauge fills up and he does Omnislash, taking down the man with
the black cape. Cloud looks into the camera and grins while holding up the
empty bottle.
Cid (in background): Cid Highwind's Goddamn Tea. Sit your ass down in a
chair and drink it!
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The scene starts out with Chibi Trunks being bullied by Future Trunks.
CT: Hey! Leave me alone!
FT: Let's play kick the saiyan!
As Future Trunks reels back his foot to punt Chibi Trunks into the horizon,
the screen freezes and Vegeta steps in front of the picture with a 3 piece
tan suit on.
Vegeta: Hello, friends. Has this ever happened to you? Or maybe to a friend
or relative? Well, I have good news for you.
The screen behind Vegeta fades as he continues.
Vegeta: Here, at Gut Check Incorporated, specialize in tactics that ensure
that bullies will never pick on you ever again. Let's see that scene again.
The footage resumes once more.
FT: Kick the saiyan!
Vegeta walks in between the two and glares a Future Trunks
FT: Dad, what are you- UGH!
The scene freezes as Vegeta starts talking again.
Vegeta: There you have it, folks. Also, Gut Check, Inc. doesn't stop at
bully problems. Any person you wish to be punched in the gut, will get the
wind knocked out of them! For the small price of $49.95. And if the person
in question happens to be an individual named Kakarrot who has an orange
gi and no brains at all, there is NO CHARGE. I repeat, NO CHARGE. So call
us today!
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Miaka (in deep, sexy voice): Hi there, big boy. Are you feeling lonely?
Why don't you give me a call at 1-800-OTAKU69? Only $50.00 for the first
minute and 250.00 for each additional minute.
(back in normal voice) Tamahome, no one's gonna pay that much for phone
sex!
Tamahome (backstage): Just read the cue cards, Miaka!
Miaka (back to sexy voice): If you're hungry, I'll let you taste my- (normal
voice) TAMAHOME!!! What the heck am I reading?! That's disgusting!
Tamahome: ....Weren't complaining this morning....
Miaka: Shhh!
Yui: AHA! So you and Tamahome ARE into that stuff! Sickos...
Suboshi: You upset Lady Yui! Prepare to die!
Hotohori: I will not let you hurt Miaka!
Tamahome: Yeah, what he said!
Suboshi: Shaddap, pretty boy!
Hotohori: Pretty boy?! Why, thank you for noticing.
Tamahome: CUT!!
Announcer (Mitsukake) talking fast: 1-800-OTAKU69, call today!
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Screen fades in with a teenager wearing a Gundam T-shirt while watching
television.
Narrator: This is an otaku.
Screen switches to the same teenager, but he is walking down the street
with a lighter and a can of hair spray. He stops in front of a police officer
and ignites the lighter, then shoots the flames at him using the hair spray
while shouting, "FIRE BALL!"
Narrator: This is an otaku.....on drugs.
Two more policemen run behind the guy, tackle him, and then proceed to beat
him to a bloody, twitching pulp.
Narrator: Any questions?