Where we last left everyone's favorite red haired, reverse bladed sword swingin' hero, he transformed into the Battousai and was preparing to do his impression of a meat butcher on the author.

"I'll change it! I'll change it!"

"Hiten Mitsurugi Style! Ryu Tsui Sen!"

(A/N: It's cop-out time, people!)

The author screamed, "Akane-san! Heeeeeeeelp!"

   Akane Tendo dropped from the sky, wielding her trusty mallet o' doom, bashing the enraged swordsman upside the head. Before Kenshin crashed to the ground, a pain stricken "oro" was heard as he collapsed.

  Suddenly, Akane felt hot all over her body and leapt into the author's arms. They quickly rushed to the nearest hotel to make sweet love. They tongue kissed and stripped each other down and jumped into the bed. The author whipped out his-

Akane's note: EXCUSE ME?!
Author's note: Can't blame a guy for trying, right? Hehehe....
Akane: AUTHOR NO BAKA!!!!!
*WHAM!*
Author's note: *flying into inner orbit* GOMEN NASAIiiiiiiiiiiiii........
Akane's note: ^^ Please ignore that last part.

   Later, after both Kenshin and the author recovered from the wrath of Akane Tendo's vicious beating, Kenshin went of to his next block. On his route list, the next destination was Gunsmoke Blvd. Kenshin was a little worried since it sounded like some kind of gang neighborhood, but then he thought about the las time someone actually shot at him and actually hit him. Kenshin's worries went down the toilet and he continued on his merry way.

   Arriving at the first house on the block, he knocked on the door, then waited. Suddenly, the door swung open, revealing a tall woman with brown hair and a happy smile. She wore something that looked less feminine than what most woman wore, but Kenshin didn't let it bother him.

"Hello, My name is Kenshin Himura and my company has sent me to sell you our newest product."

The woman looked at him blankly for a second, then went back to her smile, "Hi! My name is Milly Thompson. What is it you're selling?"

Kenshin sweat dropped, "Um, I really don't know......"

Milly cheered, "I just love mystery stuff! I'll take one!"

   Before another word was spoken, a shorter woman with dark hair came out with T-shirt and jeans on. She looked up at Milly with a frown, then at Kenshin. She looked back at Milly and said, "Milly, I told you. Don't buy stuff if you don't know what it is."

   Milly whined, "But Meryl, I like mysteries, besides, he looks like a nice man. He would do anything bad.

   Meryl raised an eyebrow suspiciously as she looked at Kenshin who now had on an angel costume with a cheap halo hanging over his head. He looked down at his clothes in shock, "ORO?!"

 Meryl shook her head, "Milly, it just another weirdo. Shut the door."

Kenshin replied, "But I'm not a weirdo, that I'm n-"

*SLAM!*

".........................................oro?"

   The next house, Kenshin approached with caution. He had a very bad feeling about this next house, but deciding to continue this fanfic, he pressed on. He knocked on the door and waited for the resident to answer. After a 3 minutes wait, the door swung open, revealing a man with dark hair and a priest's uniform on with a cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth.

  "Yeah? Whaddya want, buddy?"

  "My company has sent me to sell you our newest product, that they have."

  "That they have, huh? Ya know, you look like you've got somethin' on yer mind. Wait here a second."

   Agreeing to the man's terms, Kenshin patently waited for what was coming to him. He expected to be shot at or struck with a blunt object. But, that's not what he had coming, not at all. Before our favorite samurai new it, he had a miniature church placed over his head and was being asked to confess his sins.

  "By the way, the name's Nicholas D. Wolfwood."

  "Oro?"

  "What the hell's an oro?"

  "..............."

  "Never mind. Now, what sins do you have to confess, my son?"

  "Actually, I have none at the moment and I-"

*click*

  Kenshin felt a .45 automatic press against his chest as Wolfwood's voice became more firm, "I said what f*cking sins do you have to CONFESS?!"

  "Oro?"

  "Goddamnit, if you said that word again, I'm gonna resign as a priest and blow yer friggin' head off!"

  "But, I'm just a salesman, that I am."

    Wolfwood gasped and removed his miniature church from Kenshin's head. He sighed at the red haired warrior and said, "Some sins are too heavy for even a priest to hear about...."

  He silently shut the door in Kenshin's face.

  Kenshin was beginning to get fed up with the author's wacky insertions in this fanfic. He sighed and walked over to the next house and said to himself, "I'm going to beat the hell out of the author, that I am...."

  Knocking on the next door, he expected Monev the Gale top answer with a firing chain gun, or a pissed off Legato, or even the rowdy Nebraska Family. But, no. The person who answered the door was a woman with long, black hair. Two blonde kids with long hair stood on each side of her. One looked psychotic and evil and the other one looked like a normal child, despite him gulping down a dozen donuts, six at a time.

"Hello, ma'am. I'm Kenshin Himura and my company has sent me on their behalf to offer you our new product." Kenshin still didn't know what the hell he was selling. A box poofed into existence, into his hands. Kenshin tried to play off his surprise and said, "Um, we're selling the contents of this box."

"Donuts?" asked the normal looking boy.

"Human heads?" asked the other.

"Knives, stop that!"

  Little Knives got pissed off and said, "Screw you, Rem! I'm going off to kill a spider and eventually develop a philosophy based on that to exterminate human kind and in turn, make Vash's life a living hell until we come to a final showdown in some grassy knoll! So there!"

Knives ran off, but before he did, he pulled out a modified revolver and shot at Rem, but the lightning quick Kenshin deflected it the last minute, saving her life. Knives cursed at his failure to kill Rem as he ran across the street and got hit by a blue GT500 with two female bounty hunters, listening to Chicago Jazz. The impact of the hit sent Knives into the air.

*In the car*

"Did you hear that, Rally?"

"Hear what, May?"

"Oh, well. Must've been my imagination."

*back at Rem's house*

Rem looked at Vash and said, "There's a lesson to learn here, Vash."

Vash looked at Rem and said, "I know. No one has the right to take the life of another. As long as we stay alive we should maintain love and peace and help each other."

Rem raised an eyebrow, "What the heck are you talking about? I meant look both ways before you cross the street!"

Kenshin raised an eyebrow and decided to say something appropriate for the situation.

"Oro?"
 

TO BE CONTINUED...