A/N: Do to technical difficulties beyond my control,
I will not be writing this chapter. Hajime Saitou has stated that I will
die by Gatoutsu if I don't surrender the keyboard immediately.
S/N: Please enjoy my version of the Battousai's predicament.
K/N: Hold on a minute, this isn't right!
A/N: No shit, read the title, dummy.
K/N: I'm screwed, that I am.
As the battousai stepped into the house of the sexually frustrated cross
dresser-
K/N: Wait! Since when was he sexually frustrated?!
S/N: Since I said so, now be quiet!
As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted, the battousai entered
the house of the sexually frustrated cross dresser who happened to carry
a smile on his face that showed excitement and malice.
"Please have a seat over there," said the cross dresser, motioning the
battousai to a sofa in the living room which faced a fire place. Being
the kind hearted dolt he is, the battousai sat, oblivious to what was in
store for him. It was only 10 minutes later when the man returned with
a crate full of grotesque sex toys, that the battousai realized what the
cross dresser had been planning for him. Without his pathetic reverse bladed
sword in his possession, he had no defense against Nuriko's sex craving
desires of passion.
K/N: o.o; ORO?!
A/N: This isn't gonna be pretty....
With a sweat drop materialized on the back of his head, the Battousai
said with a smile that obviously tried to hide fear, "I'm sorry, but I'll
have to decline, that I do."
But, Nuriko refused to abort his mission to compensate for his failed
mission to have Hotohori and gazed into the eyes of the Battousai with his
hands behind his back. He smiled innocently as the Battousai uttered the word,
"Oro?" Alas, it was the last word he was able to speak do to Nuriko using
his special bracelets to expand his strength and delivering a quick blow
to the Battousai's head.
K/N: Hey, I would've dodged that punch! I'm faster than that, that
I am!
S/N: Well, look at it this way. I'm writing the story and you aren't.
Now stop your whining, Battousai. It's pathetic.
K/N: ;_; I'm not whining.....
A/N: Can I say something here?
S/N: No.
A/N: Bastard....
S/N: Would you mind speaking up?
A/N: o.o; I would mind very much....
Anyway, when the Battousai came to, his was stripped completely naked
and hanging by his wrists from a marble pillar. Shortly, Nuriko stepped out
wearing a leather body suit that looked like something from Janet Jackson's
wardrobe. He smiled evilly at his prey and licked his lips as he drew a
black, leather whip from behind his back. He swung it downward, letting
it crack against the floor, making an ear piercing sound that made the Battousai
cringe. Nuriko step forward menacingly and said, "I hope you're ready for
some fun, Mr. Himura. We're gonna be REAL close for the next couple of days."
A/N: The plot thickens...
K/N: What plot?
A/N: Good question....
S/N: Both of you, shut your mouths!
The Battousai could do nothing, as he was helpless and weak due to his
weakling pacifist ideals. Also, the former author was tied up in the corner
with leather straps, in a position much to Nuriko's liking. He also could
do nothing as he was a weakling college student otaku who builds web sites
and makes AMV's and fanfics all day. He clearly lacked any self defense skills.
A/N: I DO know karate, y'know.....
S/N: For today's purposes, you don't.
A/N: Fine, but I refuse to be ravaged in my own story!
S/N: I fail to see the relevance.
A/N: Huh?!
S/N: This is no longer your story.
A/N: ;_;
K/N: Welcome to the club.
The battousai shrieked in a high pitched voice as Nuriko pulled from his
box of "toys" a rather large instrument which was shaped like a-
A/N: PG-13! PG-13!
S/N: What am I supposed to say then?! Ding-a-ling?!
K/N: Doodle!
S/N: I refuse to use such a silly word.
A/N: Stick shift?
K/N: A bit too blunt isn't it?
S/N: What's wrong with the word penis?!
A/N: Saitou, PG-13, remember?
S/N: I could care less about ratings. Just for this interruption, you
both shall be brutally ravaged by that cross dressing ninny!
K/N: Now!
Before Nuriko could ravage Kenshin, he suddenly got in urge to have a
man in uniform. That's when Hajime Saitou appeared in tight bondage. Kenshin
broke himself free from his bindings as was given his reverse blade sword
back. The author disappeared, returning to his place behind the keyboard.
Nuriko then looked at the Mibu wolf with red hearts in his eyes and mischief
on his face. Saitou found himself helpless as his limbs were completely numb
and limp. Kenshin then exited Nuriko's house as 'Heart of Sword' blared in
the background, making his exit more dramatic.
S/N: That was unforgivable. I don't believe you've ever seen my Gatoutsu
up close.
A/N: Oh, crap.....
T/N: Dear, I've been looking for you! You promised you would make dinner!
S/N: I'm sorry. I'm coming now....
K/N: Looks like Saitou's whipped, that he is.
S/N: I'll be back...then you'll both pay with your lives...
*Saitou ends up leaving with his wife, leaving Kenshin and the author
standing there in a big, white place with nothing else around. They look
around to see that they are in the 'No Plot Zone'*
Kenshin looked to the author, "Um, what is this place?"
The author was now in an expensive looking brown suit with dark shades
and a bald head. "Mr. Himura, it's time for our mission. What do you choose?"
Kenshin was now in a black trench coat with dark shades. With a serious
face he replied, "Swords. Lot's of swords."
A rack of swords surrounded them from both sides.
The entire scene fades out, then fades back into Kenshin and the author
in their normal states, vacantly standing about the No Plot Zone. Kenshin
sighed, "This is going nowhere, that it is."
The author nodded, "Yeah, I'll just end it right here.Well, anything to
say to our readers before we go, Kenshin?"
Kenshin nodded, "Yes indeed, I do. Help me! This author is nuts, that he
is! God knows what he'll do to me in chapter 6!"
The author smiled evilly, "I have no idea what you mean, Kenshin."
Darkness then fell as red lightning flashed in the sky.
"No idea at all...."