Phony Fairy or "The Episode in Which it Becomes Horribly Apparent to Dub Watchers that they pulled a Zoicite with Fish-Eye"

This episode wins my vote for the dodgiest piece of homo-erotica I've ever seen that wasn't The Road to El Dorado.

First of all, today's target is Mr. Kitikata, a writer/artist with a fairy fetish. And he and Rini have a delightful conversation about fairies and how, even though this writer/artist has never thought about marriage before, he would like to marry a fairy. Yeah.

Speaking of fairies, our pointy eared pals are in their bar again, looking at pictures, when Fish-Eye stumbles across the perfect target. Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye are naturally curious and, as Tiger-Eye brilliantly deduces, "It's a dude." Blue shadows appear on both Hawk and Tiger while Fish-Eye giggles like a school girl.

Rini and Mr. Kitikata are walking through the forest when they see a beautiful, blue haired, vaguely female form off in the distance. Look, kids, it's a fairy! And Mr. K catches up to her and they have a delightful conversation.

"Are you a fairy?"

"Do I look like one?" You're starting to... But this beautiful moment is ruined by an even more beautiful moment as Diana sniffs and licks the fairy's feet because "she" smells like fish.(hee hee)

The fairy, who is indeed Fish-Eye, hauls ass back to the Dead Moon Circus where s/he hits the showers and causes Zelda to scream in terror because she thinks this is a guy, but the dub wants her to think this is a topless female being shown on American television.

At the temple, the sailor scouts discuss fairies. And how this one smelled fishy according to Diana. Then the girls notice that Mr. K is apparently a hot piece of ass and decide that they need to go to the forest and look for fairies...

After his/her lengthy shower, Fish-Eye is back at the bar where s/he happily puts on make-up, while his/her teammates stare in fascinated horror. And blush. Because, as my favorite anime dialogue in the whole wide world explains:

Hawk-Eye: Fish, your red lips are making me feel weird...

Tiger-Eye: Yeah, I've got the same feeling...

Meanwhile, Mr. Kitikata meets his fairy again...and ends up on top of her at one point...causing the fairy to say, "There's something you don't know about me." (Fish, there's a lot of things we don't know about you...especially if we're the really confused dub audience) But then the little coquette blows it by crushing a flower and bitching about how his/her dress is ruined.

This poor flower saves Mr. K, because he realizes that a real fairy would love all living things and that Fish-Eye is just...well, a bitch.(Mr. K obviously doesn't know some of the fairies I know...)

So, Fish snaps his fingers, curtain comes down, one, two, three! And no Pegasus. Fortunately, Serena and Rini were eavesdropping!(Remember, kids! Always spy on people you barely know because someday you might have to save them from an evil bondage fairy! Sailor Moon says!)

Naturally, Fish-Eye's tight rope-tastic lemure(good old what's its name...) is defeated, even though Moon and Mini-Moon are afraid of heights. So, Fish bitterly hauls ass back to the circus and a valuable lesson is learned by all. Or something like that...