It's a bright sunny day and once again, Serena and Rini are fighting over Darien in that way that makes me cringe. Before he can either go shopping with Rini, to the movies with Serena, or home and wish he had Fiore's number, the three spot Mina walking with a sensitive looking pink haired man with glasses.
Caring friends that they are, Rini and Serena drop Darien and haul ass to Crown's to tell everyone else that Mina finally got lucky. Artemis sulks. Lita and Raye begin sulking after Luna mentions it's healthy for a girl their age to go on dates. Diana then looks out the window asks if Mina's boy looked like a "rebel without a haircut."
Serena and Rini say he looked studious and friendly. The group then leans out the window and sees Mina talking to a blond guy with sunglasses who's on a motorcycle. Who doesn't look at all like the other guy.
Mina soon prances in, asks if it's a crime to be too beautiful, then begins to sing the praises of her new beaux. Jack, he's a groupie for a new rock band. And Charlie's an artist who wants her to be his model.
Raye becomes the second character to piss me off by saying "Riddle me this"(Amara was the first) and asks why Mina needs two boys(I mean, Raye and Lita can't evn get one, unless Chad counts which he doesn't really seem to in this season)
Diana then asks what's wrong with dating two boys at once. Serena says it isn't really fair to either boy and is shushed by Papa-Artemis.
Mina's beaux, surprise surprise, are back at the Dead Moon Circus, sitting at the bar. Curtains come down and--gasp! It's Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye. Who begin trading childish insults and slinging the term "As if" around.(Hawk-Eye's mannerisms make him enough of a nancy boy without the Clueless talk...)Tiger-Eye calls Hawk-Eye "Rooster head", Hawk-Eye calls Tiger-Eye a "macho geek" and tells him to "step up."
Fish-Eye enters, tears in his big blue eyes, and begs them not to fight over him. Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye are surprised, so Fish-Eye repeats that they shouldn't fight over this and grabs Hawk-Eye's shirt. Hawk-Eye is naturally taken aback by this, because Malachite and Zoicite--PDA offenders of the villain world--never let their crotches within three feet of each other while Fish-Eye gets very up close and personal below the belt. Tiger-Eye tells Fish-Eye that they wouldn't fight over him and that he's a joke.(Fish-Eye is also "totally buggin'.) Fish-Eye practically recoils in horror. Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye continue their argument(Tiger-Eye starting it since Hawk-Eye spends a good deal of time staring at Fish-Eye in shock/horror/confusion).
Tiger-Eye also adds that this time the loser should leave and never come back. Fish-Eye steps between them again and begs them to stop fighting. He's told to shut up. Tiger and Hawk agree that the loser will leave, then knock Fish onto the bar(whoo-hoo!) while pointing to the girl Grand Zirconia picked out. Fish-Eye, seeing Mina's picture, is amazed that she's causing all this, mostly because he's a much prettier girl than she is.
Later, Mina is looking at clothes but is told by Artemis that, well, they know squat about the enemy and Pegasus. Artemis eventually realizes that Mina's more concerned about clothes and boys and starts to plod off, his dejected kitty heart broken. Mina stops him, saying she knows what he's been saying. Artemis blushes, a hopeful look coming into his eyes...and is told that Mina is the goddess of love and beauty, blah blah blah, shrill giggling.
Rini asks Pegasus if it's possible to love two guys at once. Pegasus says no. Rini then asks how you choose between guys and concludes that growing up is hard.
The next day, Mina makes the classic mistake--sceheduling dates with both guys at the same time. Artemis laments this as he watches from the all concealing bushes--and discovers that the other girls have come for eavesdropping purposes. Diana says that she's there because they told her that if she came, she'd get to see a funny show. Serena quickly tries to silence the kitten...who wants to know when the funny show will start.
The funny show starts soon as Mina vows that she made a date with both guys and she's going to date both of them! So, she goes up to Tiger-Eye...who tells her she's late. She apologizes and sends him off to get her something to drink.
Mina then dashes over to Hawk-Eye...who seems happy to see her(they're both evil, but go with Hawk-Eye. At least he's polite)and suggests they see a movie. So, she runs him over to the movie theater where it's nice and dark. Hawk-Eye doesn't seem to like the dark...which probably ties into his whole "will you be my mommy?" thing and is another sign of how much therapy he needs. Still, Mina puts him where he should be happy--with some old lady--and hauls ass back to Tiger-Eye...
...who naturally wonders where his date ran off to. Mina says she was in the bathroom. And so the charade continues...
Meanwhile, in the movie, Hawk-Eye decides it's time to make his move. And finds himself seated next to a old woman who could've gone to high school with Zirconia. And screams in terror.(which makes most of us say, "I thought you liked 'em old?")
Mina finds her other date twitching slightly outside the movie theater, but pretends she was there the whole time.
And so, good times...good times with Hawk-Eye, good times with Tiger-Eye...until Mina starts to get tired of running back and forth. She's told by Artemis and the others that she needs to give it up and, well, tell the guys that she's seeing both of them(oh, no worries, they know!)
So, Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye find themselves in a field...and begin fighting over Mina again. Mina begs them not to fight over her. She fares much better than Fish-Eye and is told she has to choose one of them. After a bit of pressure, Mina says she likes them both.
This is about where Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye decide that they're not doing too well in the personal dignity department. Let the threesome begin! One curtain comes down and the two change...
Mina wails that they lied to her...Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye snap back that she lied to them too.
Anyway, the threesome continues as Tiger-Eye shouts "One," Hawk-Eye shouts "Two," they both shout "Three" and a scuffle breaks out for the dream mirror, along with an argument over who the "geek face" is.(It's interesting that Hawk-Eye told Mina she was wrong to mess with their superior brains two minutes before he and Tiger-Eye end up calling each other geek face and tugging on a dream mirror.)
Diana is so damn cute...after seeing this the kitten says, "So this is what happens when you go out with two guys at once, huh?" Everyone sweatdrops.
"No, it isn't, Diana," Serena says.
Eventually, Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye both shove their heads into Mina's dream mirror--Tiger-Eye's hand still on Hawk-Eye's back. And a few of Tiger-Eye's standard moans, followed by a charming gratuitous ass shot of both Amazons as they writhe and push each other--still in the dream mirror. Then they withdraw, both of them breathing heavily and with massive sweatdrops and very odd expressions.(what'd I tell you? Dream mirror menage a trois!)
But of course there's no Pegasus, so it's lemure time! Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye call out matching lemures who fortunately get along. Tiger and Hawk bicker about whose lemure briefly sent the pumpkins blasting off again. Eventually--well, once the pumpkins hit the ground--there's a brief truce as both Amazons agree that it's time to finish off the scouts.
Mina breaks free from her double constraint(here's the interesting thing: two boards appeared even though only one Amazon said "One.") and transforms.
I laugh stupidly as the lemures cross in front of Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye, chanting "Up, down, up, down" as they play on their seesaw(I'm an idiot, okay?)
Venus announces herself, causing Hawk-Eye to complain that the pumpkins are supposed to all arrive at once. Venus shuts him up with a few crescent beams that cause Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye who scurry away from them, shrieking like it's Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Venus is a rabbit.("Run away! Run away!")
Speaking of rabbits, Mini-Moon calls Pegasus, etc, etc, lemures die. Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye leave, vowing revenge.
See, this is a great episode because it shows a follow-up of the Trio for once. Back in the bar, Tiger and Hawk decide that they'll decide the game another time. Fish-Eye says he thought they'd both leave since they both technically lost. Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye leer at him(I say it looks like leering...look, I had no clue what the hell Fish-Eye was saying the first two times I saw this episode so it was magically suggestive) Fish-Eye says he was just joking.
On a random bridge, Mina is contemplating life. Artemis walks up to her(hoping to make his move, wink wink!)and says the girls are waiting. Mina apologizes for letting Tiger-Eye and Hawk-Eye fool her. Artemis says they were probably fooled by her too and assures her that someday she'll find the right guy.
