"Beach Blanket Bungle" or "The One in Which All the Characters Go to the Beach for Ogling Purposes"

Yay! Let's all go to the beach! Yes, our favorite defenders of the universe are sunning themselves and using binoculars to check out guys' crotches. Since Darien isn't there, good old Sammy gets to defend everyone's honor. Just in case the guys who don't want to have their crotches stared at get offended.

Meanwhile, Grand Jedi Master Zirconia is bitching out the Amazon Trio for spending more time on their hair than on catching Pegasus(well, at least their hair looks good) So, when presented with Amy as their target, Hawk-Eye and Tiger-Eye say she looks smarter than they are, and these two sensitive males think that's too smart for them. Fish-Eye agrees(well, it's a given that Fish-Eye wouldn't touch Amy with a ten foot pole...) The Trio is then bitched out for their reluctance(well, she is smarter than they are...) and laughed at by the rest of the circus. So, in a brilliant flash of suicidalness, Tiger-Eye says he'll get Amy's dreams and if he fails, Zirconia can feel free to replace them all. Fish and Hawk naturally look very worried about this.

Interesting note: in the fan sub I downloaded(I'll assume VKLL did it, but I got it from here) Tiger swears on the honor of the Amazon Trio. I'm not sure on the translation, but even with the cultural difference...

Back at the beach, the girls are getting some oglin' refreshments while the Trio has put on their swimsuits and plopped down at a beachside bar. Because they have to sit at a bar at least once per episode. (It's like Sailor Moon's transformation sequences.) Hawk-Eye then tells Tiger-Eye that he had no right to screw all of them over by promising Pegasus. I think it's something along the lines of "you had no right to get me and Fish involved." Tiger-Eye tells him not to worry because this time he's got a fool-proof plan.(going shirtless!)

On another side note, in my fan sub, Hawk-Eye says nothing about Tiger-Eye screwing him and Fish over.

Once the spunky protagonists are walking back to their leerin' blanket(the Senshi, not the Amazon Trio), Amy walks into a tall, blond...who offers to take her to his private beach as his apology for running into her(yeah, it's Tiger-Eye) Amy is the only girl who turns him down. Sammy is peeved.

Back in the substitute bar, Tiger-Eye mentions there's a slight snag--i.e. Amy is the only one of her friends who isn't willing to head off to a private beach. Hawk-Eye moves onto beer(remember kids, beer before liquor, never sicker; liquor before beer, you're in the clear! Sailor Moon says!)

Anyway, Amy and Sammy are out in a raft. So, Tiger-Eye rides up on a dolphin, rips a hole in the raft, then suavely turns to Amy and suggests that now that they're alone, wink wink, nudge nudge. Amy does what any girl would do: jumps off the raft to save Sammy.

The three end up on a rocky shore somewhere and Tiger-Eye becomes confused as Amy attempts to save Sammy's life and is told, no, they're not related but he's a good friend and she couldn't bear to lose him. Tiger-Eye begins to contemplate the meaning of friendship and if he has any friends(they would be those two people you screwed over by promising to capture Pegasus...)Finally, he reaches the conclusion that once he has Pegasus, he won't need friends, one, two, three, kick Sammy aside, and cue the pumpkins and a lemure that really fucks my shit up.

Yes, kids, today's lemure swallows a red ball and a white ball, taps her chest to spit them out, and speaks in a really high pitched voice so I have no clue what's going on. Tuxedo Mask, on the verge of heatstroke since this is the beach, shoves his hat in her mouth, giving Mini Moon and Moon a chance to call Pegasus, save the day, etc.(he also tells Sailor Moon that he'll always come when he's needed--no matter how far away he is--because he loves her. Aww!)

Day is saved, Plinko the Self-Fondling Lemure is defeated, Tiger-Eye teleports home--probably just in time to be kicked in the shins by his "friends."

Later, the girls discuss next year at the beach. Serena and Rini both decide to bring Darien and begin arguing while Amy and Sammy watch the fireworks. The ones in the sky, not the ones from Serena and Rini screaming at each other.