"No Prince Charming" or "An Excuse For Me to Use the Word Pimp 47 Times"
Whip out the 3-D glasses, kids! It's time for Zircon's home movies! Yay! See the Amazon Trio fail to capture Pegasus in a cage, blow up cars, and other sorts of failure!
Zirconia reminds us that young people these days just don't think...and how hard is it to find a flying horse in someone's dream anyway?("Back in my day we could find Pegasus without even looking in a dream mirror! We used our heads, by cracky!")
Back at the bar, Hawk-Eye and Fish-Eye agree that the targets just plain suck. Pimp-Master Tiger-Eye scoops up all the pictures and decides that a stud muffin like him can go after a lot of girls at once. Hawk-Eye asks if he can handle that many girls. Tiger-Eye replies that he's smart enough to do it and walks off with his stack o' targets.
Fish-Eye asks what that was all about...then Fish and Hawk notice that Tiger-Eye dropped a picture--Lita's picture. Put that on the back burner.
Anyway, at the dance..."Do you think this dress is too flashy?" Only if "flashy" is slang for "ugly." Because, Lita, you're buggin'. That dress is totally not tight!
Anyway, Lita's dress may show off a good amount of cleavage, but it's ugly as sin. Anyway, the dance gets started and no one wants to dance with Lita. So, Amy offers to dance with her. Fuel is added to the Jupiter/Mercury rumors until the official Dead Moon Pimp enters. He notices Lita and says she might have potential...but, she's not an official target, so she'll just be bait.
Tiger-Eye snaps his fingers, cutting off the music and turning on the lights, then asks Lita to dance with him. The hulking amazon(Lita, not Pimp-Eye) is naturally flattered because no one ever seems to ask her to dance. They dance and Lita starts tripping out. Once the dance is over, Tiger-Eye is swarmed by girls, none of whom seem to wonder if good hair and dangly earrings mean anything. An interior monologue on bait and catching fish is interrupted by Lita asking to dance with him again. Tiger-Eye assures her that he'll come back...but he knows he won't since, hey, she's not a target! He even calls her "little fish" which I find just a tiny bit disturbing...
Anyway, Lita decides to wait for Tiger-Eye in one of her most spineless moments ever. Yes, she stands in one place, waiting for her potential prince to return(even though he doesn't look like her ex-boyfriend.)
Anyway, Rini goes to check on Lita and finds her still standing there. Tiger-Eye and his gaggle of ho's exit. Tiger-Eye seems surprised to see Lita and is reminded by Rini that he promised he'd come back. So, Tiger-Eye says he'll be back later. The other girls try to drag Lita away since the carnival isn't over yet, but Lita decides to wait like the welcome mat that she currently is.
Mina says she thought that they(Lita and Tiger-Eye) were going to hook-up. Okay, in my world hook-up means make-out and/or get it on. Apparently CWI doesn't know this because Mina expected this to happen...(and Fish-Eye announced that he was going to hook up with the little boy who had a crush on Rini)
Back at the Tsukino house...Gross moment of the episode: Rini asks Pegasus how Lita can be obsessing over Tiger-Eye when she just met him. Pegasus replies that it's not the amount of time, it's the amount of feeling. Rini then asks if love at first sight is possible. Pegasus replies that it happens all the time. Rini blushes and thinks of when she first met Pegasus--so, she fell in love at first sight with a horse. (Remember, it's okay to love animals, but you shouldn't love animals. The Truth About Cats and Dogs says!)
Lita is waiting in the rain when the moon family drives up...because she still thinks Tiger-Eye is coming bacl. Because he could be the one. Yeah, nothing wins the boys like the stench of desperation. (Next time you have a great time dancing with someone Lita, give them your number and wait pathetically by the phone in the comfort of your own home!)
The next day, it's carnival time and contestant #13 wins the Miss College beauty pageant. It's Fish-Eye, of course. Tiger-Eye recognizes "her"...shouting "Fish-Eye, what are you doing here?" in front of a crowd of people. Fish-Eye, another master of disguise and secret identities replies, "Tiger-Eye? Of course you're here! I completely forgot about you!"
The two go off into the all concealing shadows--for explanation purposes. Fish-Eye tells Tiger-Eye he dropped a picture "in the club."("in the bar" according to the English translation at the Script Crypt. I wondered about this because silly me, I figured clubs invovled dancing instead of just...well, a bar and three drunks...) And that, well, he would've given it to him sooner, but there were just so many cute boys around! Tiger-Eye calls Fish-Eye an idiot, Fish-Eye asks if Tiger-Eye's actually accomplished anything, showing the usual team spirit:
Fish-Eye: You were so totally sure of yourself...wait, don't tell me--it was a complete failure, right?
Tiger-Eye then brags about his dream rummaging abilities and assures Fish-Eye that he's going to go take care of Lita.
Serena and Rini, who are eavesdropping, reach an important conclusion--Lita's longing for a player!! A player? Yeah...you see two of the enemy talking shop and you just decide that you need to warn Lita that one of them is a player? He's wearing rings on every finger again--do these girls just not know what a pimp looks like?
Having seen that, whoops, Lita was a target, Tiger-Eye heads back to go dream rummagin'. Lita is by this time passed out with the other girls. She does wake up when Tiger-Eye shows up and then says she was afraid he wouldn't come back.
Classy pimp that he is, Tiger-Eye assures her that he'd never forget such a "fine girl." This is apparently the nicest thing anyone's ever said to Lita because her eyes light up. Tiger-Eye then wonders if he's losing his touch because he hasn't jumped her yet.(my hero...) Lita goes on to say she believed in him...Tiger-Eye, who's starting to blush like he's just come out of a hot dream mirror, asks her how she could believe in him that much.
An impatient Contestant #13 pops out of the bushes and tells Tiger-Eye to get on with it. Fish-Eye then changes, shouts 1,2,3...and uses the phrase "Into my net, little fishies." Is everyone fish obsessed today?
Lita then shouts at Tiger-Eye that she trusted him and is told she was an idiot for trusting someone she doesn't know. Fish-Eye tells Tiger-Eye once again to get his ass in gear...and while Lita's dream is beautiful, no Pegasus. Time for death!
Fortunately, Moon and Mini-Moon were in the vicinity...seeing that there are pumpkins and there's no Pegasus, Tiger-Eye tells Fish-Eye that he's going home. Fish-Eye is naturally surprised by this, but Tiger-Eye says that it was his job and now that Fish-Eye had to get involved, he's leaving.("Screw you guys, I'm going home!")
So, Fish screams at Tiger-Eye even after he's left, then calls out Shuffle the Lemure. Then jumps into his own portal, probably to smack Tiger-Eye around once they're back in the "club."
Holy crap! I can understand what the lemure says!! Yeah, Shuffle, the Ace of Spades covered and thong wearin' lemure, throws cards at Moon and Mini-Moon and is about to make them play a deadly game of Jokers only 52 card pick-up when Sailor Jupiter appears with a made-up attack name("Superior Sparkling Thunder!" or something...)
Poor Jupiter..."I thought I'd met my prince charming," she says before telling the Moons to call in Pegasus.
Crystal Twinkle Bell, Moon Gorgeous Meditation, bye bye Shuffle.
Back in the empty gym, Lita muses over her failed attempt at romance...and naturally perks up when Elizabeth says there's a dance at the high school next week.
